Messing with my boss
by delirious-girl
Summary: AH. Dimitri is the owner of a successful company and Rose ends up being his secretary. He is hot. But he also has a bad reputation when it comes to women. Rose promises herself to stay away from the Russian god that is her boss, and everything goes well until one night when they both get drunk and end up in bed. Where the things are going to head when only one of them remembers it?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy and neither of its characters. That is all the work of the marvelous author Richelle Mead. I just own the plot of this story.

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 **Hi guys! I am back and ready to write** _a lot_ **. I mean I have all these ideas and I can feel that this story is going to be loooong, so prepare yourselves.**

 **I am going to upload 4 chapters now, just to catch your interest. The first of them are some kind of introduction and place the story into a context.**

 **But take my word when I say that after the two of them meet, sparks are going to ignite.**

 **Enjoy! :)**

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It all started when Lissa, my best friend in the entire world, and I, both decided to move to the big city, Manhattan, after graduating college. We are both 23 years old now and we are looking for a better life far away from home. We follow that new year, new beginning shit, you know?

But first, let me give you some context.

We have done everything together since we were three years old and met at the kindergarten. The first thing we shared was the dislike for our teacher, Miss Anderson, a frustrated fifty years old unmarried woman that liked to make little kids cry; and then came our dolls.

And we were practically inseparable ever since the day we met, being always next to each other, no matter what. We went to the same schools and were into the same classes too. We even followed the same University, but with different specializations. Lissa was going to become a nurse (this was her dream since she was like five years old and she broke her arm and had to be hospitalized; there she met the nicest nurse alive and she fell in love with this job) and I studied Economics (not because I really liked it, but I have always been good with numbers and I supposedly had many good ideas when it came to business; so my high school teachers guided me to take this road; and I don't regret it till this day).

Lissa's parents and her bigger brother died when she was twenty into a terribly tragic car accident (some drunk guy was driving on the wrong way and unfortunately they were at the wrong place at the wrong time and got hit frontally at full speed, dying almost instantly). And she still seems affected by that incident until this day.

My parents are still alive, but they are a major pain in the ass lately. For the last three years or so, my father was always working, coming home late and leaving early in the morning, doing God knows what, because I surely didn't have a clue. What was so time consuming about being an art dealer? And my sweet mother is a respected English teacher at a local university, who was never pleased with anything I did, no matter how much I tried. It's not easy to have such successful parents with high standards and be a constant disappointment for them. Well, mostly for my mother, because sometimes, when he would bother to be home, my father was my partner in crime. He was the fun parent. But the constant disapproval was one of the reasons I decided to leave my home and move along with Lissa to Manhattan. She had nobody to care for her besides me, and neither did I, somehow.

We weren't really the same, but we were completing each other just fine.

Lissa is the cute girl next door, who is ready to help you anytime. I am more the kind of girl you would call when you need to punch someone. I would get triggered pretty fast by almost anything. Just give me a reason, please.

She is the calm, rational one, who was always thinking before doing anything, and I am the one who takes action first and asks the questions later, no matter the consequences. It works better for me this way. I sometimes would think things in my head, but that happens really fast and it is like I didn't think anything at all, in fact. But I am really trying to get a hold of myself lately. Let's see how that goes.

Lissa is always dressing up with nice girly clothes and she always looks pretty, no matter the occasion. She is just like a doll. I am more the casual type, wearing jeans or sweats along with a baggy T-shirt and some sneakers, not even bothering with make up or with doing my hair, no matter how many times Lissa would encourage me to do so. I am more of a tomboy and I like myself this way. Honestly, the only things that differentiate me from a boy are my boobs and my long hair, even though I rarely bother to keep it untied.

Lissa is the type of girl who has a mannequin body, being tall and slender, with a pale complexion, golden hair and jade green eyes, making her resemble a little angel. That made you like her in an instant. And boys seem to dig that too. Well, one guy in particular, because Lissa is already engaged with a sarcastic, knows-it-all pain in the ass (for me) guy, named Christian Ozera. But he really loves her, and no matter how much him and I would bicker and tease each other, we were getting along fine at the end of the day, all of us.

I, on the other hand, I am a little more blessed by Mother Nature, having some curves and bigger breasts, a tanned complexion, dark brown hair and deep dark brown eyes, thanks to my Turkish paternal origins. People would often describe me as having some exotic air. At this chapter, I am the one with the advantages, but I rarely did bother to accentuate any of them. I sometimes liked to doll up, I won't lie, but I usually didn't have the time, and I didn't really care. I am not really interested yet in having a long term relationship, even though I had some boyfriends throughout my existence. Am I lonely sometimes? Yes, of course, but not too often. Am I ready to give up on being myself in order to seduce a guy or to make someone notice me? Hell no. If someone would want to know me, the real me, I am already showing myself to them. I am not going to cover myself with makeup and wear revealing clothes just to prove something. If they don't like me, that is strictly their problem, not mine.

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'Have you finished packing yet?' Lissa asked from the other side of the phone.

'Nah, I still have a box or two to stuff with things and seal them. You?' in fact I was way behind with packing, but the last thing I needed now was to hear Lissa panic over my possible delay.

'Same. I can't believe that we are actually _doing_ this, Rose. We are actually getting out of this hopeless town. Just like we dreamt since we were little.' you could hear the excitement in her voice, because she always spoke in a pitched voice when she was feeling this way.

We have always made plans to move somewhere together, into a place that was going to be only ours. Our little sanctuary, away from this dump of a town. And finally, that time has come.

'It is such a pity that Christian can't stay with us. I wish he wouldn't have taken up that job on the other side of the town.'

'Hey, it is not the end of the world, you know? It's not like you won't see each other ever again. Or like, you don't live into the same town. You know, this is the reason the subway was invented. To cover long distances. And it doesn't take that much time either to get from one place to another. So you'll be just fine, trust me.'

'Yeah, but I'll miss him.' She argued, sounding like a little kid.

'There is nothing I can do about that. _Unless_ you want me to become your substitute boyfriend. I am already dressing like a guy somehow, so you will not feel the difference. Buuuut maybe he will find a job nearby us in the future. What do you think about that?'

'Yeah, that sounds good. I hope he will. I want to have him close to me.'

'Of course you do. The two of you lovebirds can't seem take your hands off each other, if you know what I mean.'

'Oh, Rose.'

'What? Am I not right? I have seen you on multiple occasions. The things get heat-'

'So, I'll see you around seven?' she asked changing the subject. I laughed.

'Yeah, see you. Now go take care of your lover boy. Tell him I said hi.'

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I finished packing just in time and took all of my boxes on the porch so that the moving team would pick them up. It was about six thirty and I was so close to my leaving. Finally this moment has come. And I think that I am going to miss this place very much.

I remember when my father taught me to roller skate. I was only seven and this happened while I was on my summer holiday. The school just ended and as a present for my good behavior in the last month, I got a pair of roller skates. It was more some kind of a bribe to stop terrorizing my teachers, but it was totally worth it. I was very excited to wear my new pair of white skates and what I loved most about them was that they had rainbow colored laces. I was so afraid not to fall when we got outside that I couldn't let go of my father's hand. But he didn't mind and was very patient with me. At last, after a whole day spent outside in the hot air, I was able to follow my father along the street in front of our house, as he was running ahead me and telling me to come and catch him if I can. When I finally caught up with him, he picked me up into a piggyback ride inside to take dinner, where I narrated to my mother about my day.

And about my mother, I remember that I would sit with her on the kitchen counter as she would bake some brownies or cupcakes for the weekend. I would try to read her the instructions from the recipe notebook she always used. I just began to learn how to read and she would correct me when needed and sometimes she would scoop some of the sweet mixture and hand it to me as some kind of prize. She used to call me her little personal taster and promised to teach me every recipe in that notebook of hers. But the only thing I got to learn from her is how to make an excellent coffee, just like the ones that baristas do, but without the sophisticated machinery.

I really miss those simpler times. Now everything is complicated and I don't know how we got to this point. But I guess it is all of our faults, at least at some point.

It is somehow hilarious. I have wished for my entire life to leave, and now I am remembering all my happy moments spent here.

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I was waiting for the time to pass, sitting on the stairs from my porch. The weather started to turn warmer as the days were passing. Maybe this winter won't be so long after all. My mother came and sat beside me.

'So, you are really leaving.'

'Yeah. I've told you that like two weeks ago. Don't you remember?' she had the habit of pretending to listen to me, when in fact she wasn't. And then she would ask me why I wasn't telling her anything about myself.

'I know. But I thought that that was just some plan of yours. Something you wanted to do _some_ day. But I guess it wasn't.' she said putting some of the short auburn curls behind her ear.

Silence.

'When will you be coming back? You _are_ going to come back, right?'

'I honestly have no idea. Maybe on holidays or something.'

'But why Manhattan? Why do you want to go so far away from home?' it's not _that_ far. You just have to drive for six hours on a good day. Eight or nine tops if it's traffic, so I heard.

'I don't know. I guess that any other city would have done the trick. We just found something for Lissa there.'

'But for you? What about _you_?'

'I'll find something to do. It's a big city, mum. I'll manage to survive, don't worry. '

'Take care, will you?'

'Yeah, mum. I always am.'

When the moving team came, she hugged me. I was surprised, because she wasn't doing that very often. In fact, loving gestures weren't really in my mother's nature for the last couple of years.

And with that I left home for the first time in my entire life, for real this time, not only in my wildest dreams. Was I scared? Hell yeah, big time. But at the same time I was very excited. We were finally going the city of our dreams, to live the lives we have always talked about. And at least I had Lissa by my side. And with her with me, I knew that things were going to be fine, no matter what. We would always find a way to pull things through somehow.

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 **P.S.: I am going to upload every Monday and Thursday. I promise I won't miss a single day :)**

 **Oh, and please feel free to review. I am looking forward to hear your opinions. Good or not that good, I don't mind. I just want to improve my writing and your reviews are helping me a lot.**

 **XOXO**


	2. Chapter 2

The true purpose of our departure to Manhattan is because Lissa found a well paid job there. I, on the other hand, I just followed her here, hoping for the best. I couldn't imagine living by my own in my natal town. Lissa was the only person who could make things bearable and without her around, I would get insane there just after some days locked into the house with my mother. So no thank you. I'll take my chances here.

We rented an apartment together. It was nice, nothing too fancy or too big, but we could at least call it our home. And we were used to not having many things too, so that didn't bother us. We didn't need much to be happy. The only thing that mattered was that we were together.

We accommodated ourselves fast into the big city and rapidly fell into routine. Lissa was busy with her nursing job at a nearby hospital and I was making myself busy with finding a job.

I have already presented my CV to some companies around town and I was waiting for an answer. I wanted to start small, by being a junior or an intern or any job they would give me and climb my way up. With my Economics degree, I thought that I would have at least a chance to get a decent job here. But after two weeks of handing my CV left and right to various companies, they were just dismissing me, saying that I didn't have enough experience in the domain to get the job. Um, of course I didn't you fucking bitches! I just graduated last year for God's sake. What were they expecting from me? Where and when was I supposed to have gathered all of that experience they were talking about? Too bad that the shifts I took at Marley's shop every summer didn't count for them. I guess that they would have been impressed by my abilities to make people buy more stuff, just because.

The truth is that I hated living on Lissa's money. We were supposed to be roommates, not the girl who pays for everything and the girl who takes advantage of that, living like a parasite. And I surely as hell wasn't going to ask for money from my parents. I left that house for a reason. I wanted to become independent, and by crawling back to your parents' feet asking for some money after only two weeks, surely didn't mean becoming independent. Not in _my_ textbook. Lissa said that she didn't mind, because she had a good income, and her family was some kind of rich. So, by being the only person left, she had a pretty nice trust fund. But I didn't want to be a leech in her life. I didn't like to depend on someone either. I wanted to make a living by my own and prove myself.

But right now, this was the situation for me. Lissa was continuously reassuring me that I will get to find something and that I shouldn't worry that much. ''Just think positive'' she keeps on telling me every single day. But after those two weeks of constant rejection, my hope is totally gone. Like, really? Nobody needs me? Just a little bit? Can't I be helpful to anybody? All I want in this moment is to find a little job into a big ass town. How hard could have that been? It seems that pretty hard.

Every day, I would scroll the internet in search of some job. But I would stumble upon the same announces from the same companies that already rejected me every day. Wake me up in the middle of the night and I would be able to list every one of them, word by word. And there is no chance in hell that I am going to become some Walmart greeter. I have some expectations from myself after all. But things are going bad and I don't know what chances I have left.

Until today, when I found a new announcement. Someone posted it like two hours ago and it is looking for a secretary to work at some company I have heard about. In fact, I think that everybody heard about it. It is a really big foreign company, with its headquarters in Moscow, that was really, really successful. This company is well-known worldwide for its success. When it boomed, all the papers were full of this news. Here, in Manhattan, is one of its most important branches in the world.

And the thing that impressed everybody is that the man behind everything was very young when it all began. He was only 21 when he started up this business from scratch (isn't that a real confidence booster? thinking about what others were doing at 21, while you are 23 and struggling to live another day into a city that doesn't want you? OK, it isn't _that_ bad for me; I am not starving; yet; but you get what I mean; in comparison to him, I haven't accomplished absolutely nothing in my life; and that is _really_ encouraging, right?). In a matter of three years, he took over almost everybody. He is the best into his domain. No one can compete with him. And even if they would, they didn't stand a chance. He is _that_ good. And now, he is the ruler of an empire that is worth a lot of money. I can't cover with my mind that sum. And at approximately nine years from its foundation, the company is still standing and ruling everything around. Isn't this badass?

Well, in this moment I am pretty desperate. First, I don't even think I have a chance to get this job and secondly, I have never considered the option of becoming someone's secretary. I really didn't want to be someone else's personal slave. Like ever. I saw so many times what that did to people, especially in big cities or corporations. They were simply becoming human-wrecks in a matter of months. Just because their boss was thinking that they had to be at their personal disposal at any time, day or night. I _so_ didn't like that. We are all humans, for God's sake.

I am not a very big adept of going to school, but I did what I had to do. And after many years of working my ass off into that university to get a diploma that I thought would help me somehow, I _so_ didn't want to become someone's personal servant. But it seems that my diploma is not that useful after all. Like, at all, if you ask me now. I hope that _at_ _least_ for now. Nobody was ready to listen to what I had to say without that damn experience. But if they would have even bothered to ask, they would have found out that I was in fact skilled and had a lot to offer, even though I haven't worked anywhere yet. Well, maybe the fact that I had a vagina didn't help me either. I have seen a guy getting a job I applied for, even though he didn't have any experience either. And may I add that he was as dumb as a piece of paper? But who am _I_ to question that decision, right?

So, I resume to my last option. Without this, I have no other chance at finding a job in this damn city. Desperate times ask for desperate measures, as my English teacher would often say. Where are all the possibilities that everybody was talking about, huh? Maybe down the drain because I surely couldn't find any. So, as a last resort, it seems that I am really going to become someone's little functionary puppy. If they were ever going to consider my CV, of course. Maybe they would ask for some experience here too. Who knows? With my luck, everything is possible.

When Lissa got home from her Thursday night shift, I have already sent my CV.

'Remind me again why I am doing this?' she asked as she placed her purse on the couch and began to undress her light blue scrub which had an iodine stain on its pocket. You could see the dark circles beginning to appear under her beautiful green eyes.

'Oh, let's see. Because you are an amazing person. Because you are wired since birth to care about everyone. Don't try to deny it; you can't help yourself not to be nice to everyone and you know it. But mostly because you love all your little patients. You love to make their days better, to bring a smile on their little faces, Liss. And because you really love your job, that's why.'

'Oh, Rose, what would I do without you?'

'Probably better.' I say joking. But she shots me a hard glance and throws one of her shoes at me. I grabbed one of the pillows next to me and raised it in some useless effort to take some cover. The shoe flew just above my head.

'Don't you say that anymore! _Ever_. Or I'll cut you. You know I will and you know I can make it very painful for you too.'

'Ohohohoh, stay there little crazy nurse. I think that all this lack of sleep is messing with your brain. Let's get you to bed.'

'Fine. I am exhausted anyway. But I mean it. Don't you ever say that again. You are everything I have, Rose. You and Christian.' she says, her face turning into a sad expression. Ouch, in my stupidity, I reached a sore spot.

'Sorry, Liss. I promise I'll behave next time, so you won't run around the house chasing me with your sharp scalpel. Just out of curiosity, where do you plan to hide my body after you are done? And should I begin to think about writing my will too? I promise I'll leave you my curling iron. But you have to promise me that you will burn my phone after you kill me, deal?'

She giggled. 'I love you Rose. You are the best.'

'Love you too, silly. Now let's get you some precious sleep.'


	3. Chapter 3

It is Friday morning and I am bored out of my mind. Lissa is now sleeping after her night shift and I have nothing to do. I am not allowed to use the TV because the noise would wake her up. And she could _feel_ somehow when the TV is open, even though it is on mute. She is _such_ a light sleeper. I swear that if you would drop a needle on the floor she would surely wake up and throw a pillow after you. So, this means no entertainment for me, at least for some time. And the fact that I am constantly refreshing my inbox every two minutes in search of an e-mail I don't know if I would receive isn't helping me either. I am so nervous about that application. I need to find a distraction. And fast. So I put on some sportswear and go for a run. It's the perfect way to get my mind off that damn job. And the benefit of my run is that I can see some nice guy's butt too.

When I come back, some hours later, after running and some snack shopping for movie night, I find a hysterical Lissa walking around the house with a bunch of clothes in her hands and half of her closet thrown around the living room. It looks just like a tornado passed through the room while I was absent. I drop the groceries and ask her what happened.

'You didn't tell me you had an interview! Why didn't you tell me? It is _so_ important! You have to get ready now. And where have you been?'

'Running.' I say and get my shoes off. God, my feet hurt right now. 'I left you a note on the fridge.'

'Oh, yeah. I didn't see it. Anyway. Tell me about the interview.'

'What? I have no interview. Lissa, did you dream something? Are you sleepwalking again?' I asked concerned. She used to do that from time to time since her family passed away. And trust me; it's not nice to wake up in the middle of the night with her standing at the end of your bed, a blank stare on her face, asking you for something. The first time it happened she was sleeping over and I was about to have a heart attack.

'Rose, stop joking around. I saw your email. You left your inbox open.'

'Wait, they _responded_?'

'Oh, so you _didn't_ know.' she says looking at a pink blouse. Nice, but too small for me.

'No, I didn't. That is what I am talking about. What did they say?'

'That they are waiting for you at four.'

'When?'

'Today, Rose. At four.'

 _'What_? You have got to be kidding me!' I said as I grabbed the laptop from the table and plopped myself on the couch. I open the email.

''Good afternoon, Miss Hathaway. We, the people from Belikov Enterprises are glad to announce you that we have taken into consideration the application you sent earlier today and we would like to meet you later this day, if it is possible, for an interview. We hope that you will be able to come today at our Manhattan headquarters at 4 p.m. We will be waiting for you at the first floor, at the Human Resources Department. For any inconveniences or questions please reply to this message and we will respond in due time.

Have a good day!''

'Oh, _come on_!'

'Rose, why didn't you tell me about sending your CV to this company? And do you really want to be a secretary? _You_ , from all people? I mean, I know how much you dislike this kind of job. But most important, you applied at the _Belikov Enterprises_? Do you have any idea how these people are in these kind of companies? They are practically eating each other alive, like some hyenas. Do you _really_ want to work there?'

'Well, as a matter of fact I didn't even think about getting a response from them in the first place. That's why I didn't give you a heads up. But I just thought that I should try anyway, because I am out of job options. And because of that same reason, I am going to _get_ this job. And yeah, I hate it. But if this is what I have to do, I will do it, for as long as it takes, until I find something better. This is better than nothing.'

'Rose, but I told you that don't have to-'

'Liss. I just want to bring my share into this house. So if I will have to kiss my boss' ass to get some money, so be it. I won't die. Maybe I'll even begin to like it, if you know what I mean.'

'Unbelievable.' she says rolling her eyes 'Fine. But only if this is what you really want.' Not what I really want, but what I have to do.

'It is. Now, tell me. What am I even going to wear? I have no office clothes. Would they even let me into the building if I go there wearing sweats?'

'Rose, don't be silly. What do you think that I have been doing for the past half an hour?'

'Um, let me guess. Having a panic attack?'

'Well, besides that.' She said wiggling her hand amused. 'I have looked through our clothes, well, mostly mine, and found the perfect combination. Come here.' she said as she was heading for the bedroom.

'I am _so_ not wearing this. I am going to look like a school girl on her first day. All I need is a backpack and some piggy tails.' I respond while holding a past knee navy-blue skirt with folds and a white shirt in my hands. 'It doesn't say there that I have to look like an eight year old to get this job.'

'Fine. But you have no office clothes. And these are the only big enough clothes that I have and that you can wear.'

'Oh, Lissa, why do you have to be so skinny?'

'No, Rose. You are too hot to fit into these clothes.' she responds and we both laugh.

* * *

Some time later, I am dressed and Lissa has done my rebellious hair into a bun. I swear that she is the only one capable of taming my thick waves. She needs to get a prize, honestly. I take a last look into the mirror on the wall. Everything that I need now is a pair of glasses with thick black frames, a haircut and to dye my hair red, and I would be my mother's Turkish twin sister. I look so, so, nerdy. And I feel like I am starting middle school again, where everybody had to wear the same stupid uniform. Ugh. I feel shivers down my spine just by thinking about middle school. Is there someone who really _enjoyed_ middle school? Or school in general? If so, it's already too late for you to tell me your secret.

'Lissa, tomorrow we definitely have to go and buy me some nice office clothes. I need to look more professional if I want to keep this job. Well, this means that I have to get this job first, but you know what I mean.'

'Shopping? I love shopping. But enough talking. It's already 3:15. You should go now. You know, showing earlier on your interview is a plus.'

'Don't you say? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I could have gone there since two o'clock and kiss the door.'

'Ha, ha. Very funny.' She says crossing her arms. 'So go, now!'

'Okay. See you!' I get my bag and the car keys and I am on my way.

'Good luck, sweetie!' she calls lastly.

I get into the car and drive the distance to the Belikov Enterprises. I have passed this building on so many occasions while I would go to the market, but today it looks oddly imposing. Damn, I am so nervous. I am going to my first interview ever. I am on my way to get my first job. Hell, wasn't I becoming a responsible adult now? Someone out there would better call my mother and tell her to be proud of me.

I look at my phone. It is 15:35. I arrived waaaay too early. Lissa and her advices. But you know what? I'll just enter and maybe I will talk a little with the other candidates and so I will destress a little. Yeah, that would be a good idea. At least I would find out what to expect when I get in.

I get out of the car and go into the gigantic building. I get into a huge hallway. I mean, this hallway only is way bigger than our apartment. And everything is so damn white and the lights are so bright. Where are we, in Heaven? Should I expect some little angels to come and show me the way? And this place is so crowded. Everybody is talking and the place is buzzing with noise and from time to time you can hear someone's phone ringing, along with some high heels pounding on the concrete floor. I have to fight my way to the main desk. There I find an uptight woman, with a fake smile plastered to her face, being tired of her existence. Ah, my kind of people. Please don't make me be rude to you woman.

'Um, hello there Miss!' she doesn't notice me. 'Um, excuse me.' I wiggle my hand in her direction but it is just like I don't exist at all for her. 'Hey Miss!' I raise my voice a little. She finally acknowledges my existence and takes her eyes off the damn computer.

'Yes?'

'Hi, um, I am here for an interview. It's supposed to take place at four and I know it's kind of early, but can you show me which way should I go to get to the Human Resources Department, please?'

'Yeah, sure. Wait a second.' she says as she begins to type something on her computer.

And I wait. And I wait. It is now 15:50. Did she forget about me? I am practically breathing the same air she is, this is how close I am to her.

'Um, excuse me Miss. But I have to get to the Human Resources Department. Can you direct me please?'

'Oh, you again. I thought I told you to wait.'

'I did. And I waited for the past _fifteen_ minutes.'

'Really? Oh, well.' she says rolling her eyes 'Eddie! Eddie! Come here.' A cute guy dressed completely in black and with a stiff position comes our way. 'Um, yeah. Take this little girl to the HR.'

 _Little_ girl? Do I really look that childish? Oh, I so want to punch this woman.

He nods in her direction and tells me to follow him.


	4. Chapter 4

I follow this Eddie guy as he is taking me through some other big hallways. But instead of paying attention to where I am heading, my eyes are checking him out. Meh, I'll find my way out somehow. He's cute. He is tall, his narrow facial features completed by messy sandy blond hair and hazel brown eyes. Oh, and I can perfectly admire his muscles through the well fitted shirt that he is wearing. If it would be a normal situation, I would be already flirting with this guy and make him give me his number, but this is neither the time nor the place. And plus, I am dressed like I am twice his age, which doesn't help my cause either. Maybe on Monday I would be luckier.

'Here you are, Miss.' He says and turns around, leaving me into an empty hallway. All I can find here are some wooden doors and some seemingly very uncomfortable chairs.

'Um, excuse me, but are we into the right place? Are you sure? I mean, I came here for an interview. Aren't there supposed to be other candidates here or something? Or am I too late?' I ask as I get out my phone and check the time again. 15:54. Phew. I am safe.

'No, Miss. This is the right place. And there are no other candidates.' he says and leaves me there before I can ask him if he is fucking with me.

Excuse me? What does he mean that there are no other candidates? I thought that I would have to fight my way in here and to rip some heads off or to make human (or at least goat) sacrifices to some pagan Gods in order to get this job. This is the Belikov Enterprises that everybody is talking about, no? Am I into the wrong place? Worse, is this a joke? Why isn't this place stacked up with super excited young girls with short skirts and deep, full cleavages lining at this door, threatening to break it? This is soooo weird.

But my train of thought is interrupted as a woman gets her head out a door nearby and asks me what my name is. The inscription on the door says ''Chief HR Officer''. Oh damn. I get to take my interview with the highest person in hierarchy?

'Good afternoon, Ma'am. My name is Rose Hathaway.' I answer, trying not to let slip the fact that I am getting nervous.

'Oh, perfect, you really came. Get in.' she says happily and gestures me to follow her.

You _really_ _came_? What does this woman mean? Was I supposed to chicken out or something?

'Take a seat, Rose, please.' she says gesturing towards one of the chairs in front of her. Well, isn't she so expressive? She's practically wiggling her hands all over the place.

I do as I am said to and then take a look around. This woman has a nice office, with the walls painted into a light orange, and not so many pieces of furniture, that give the room a minimalist air. I look at the mess on her desk. It all that chaos I find a name plaque hid between some sheets that says: ''Alberta Petrov''. It sounds nice. And she looks nice too. She is maybe in her 50s, and her short sandy hair has some signs of turning grey. Her face is sending me reassuring vibes, as she is watching me with a smile.

'So, you are here for the secretary position, right?' here we go. Let the fun begin.

'Yes, Ma'am.'

'Okay, the job is yours.'

'Wait, _what_?'

'Look, you are the only candidate. So we don't have to make a big deal out of this. You came here and you got the job. Simple as that.'

'But _how_? Shouldn't you ask me something about my experience or about my studies or I don't know, _something_? How would you know if I am competent enough?'

'Fine, as you wish.' she says forcing a smile now. The initial cheerfulness is gone. 'Do you have any experience, Miss Hathaway?'

'No, I don't have any. But I hope that this won't be an inconvenient.'

'Trust me, it won't be. Even the biggest experience won't prepare you for what is waiting for you.'

'I'm sorry, but _what_?'

'I said that it doesn't matter if you have experience or not. If you are open to learning what to do, we are ready to teach you.'

'I am. I'll do my best Ma'am.'

'Yeah, do that.' she said under her breath. 'Okay. What can you tell me now about your education?'

'I have an Economics diploma.'

 **DPOV begins**

I have just reached the HR door and I plan to enter and ask about how finding my new secretary works, but I hear two women talking. One of them is Alberta, but the other woman's voice doesn't sound familiar to me. I'll sit here for some more to hear what they are talking about. Plus, I don't want to disturb their conversation. It seems important.

 **DPOV ends**

'It's okay with that too. It doesn't really matter, anyway. You won't need to use what you learned. You just have to do what your boss says.'

'Okay, would you please tell me what is happening?' I ask, raising my voice a little. 'Because this interview seems to be a bad joke to me. I am _really_ trying not to be rude right now, but what the hell do you keep on talking about?'

'Look, little girl. I am going to be totally honest with you. We just want a secretary for our boss.' her tone seemed desperate 'We don't really _care_ about anything about you. You would be his fifth secretary this month only. And we are only in the middle of the month, you get me?'

I was starting to get pissed off big time.

'What the fu-' I stop myself just in time. 'You don't _care_?'

'All we want is to get this thing done as soon as possible. It depends on how much you can resist here. The more, the better. But as I see you, I won't give you too much. Three days, maybe a week tops. So, would you sign the contract already?'

'Ma'am, is this a fucking joke? Because I surely don't appreciate it. I think I'll leave now. I don't like how you are treating me.'

'No, no, no. Don't go.' She almost begs me. 'Look, the boss needs a secretary ASAP and you have to sign this contract. _Please_. I don't care how much shit you can endure or how much you will be able to keep up into this company. All I need is a _damn_ _secretary_!'

 _'Fine_! Give me that damn contract! I'll sign it!'

 **DPOV begins**

This girl has some guts, I can tell. Nobody ever talked this way with Alberta. She is so feisty. I like it. Is she going to be my new secretary? From what I heard, it seems so. I just can't wait to mess with her. I can sense that she would have something to say in response. She doesn't seem the kind to put up with people's bullshit. I like it when women bite back. It gives them this sexiness I can't resist to. Let's see how much this one is going to last. I open the door and enter, but none of the women observe me.

 **DPOV ends**

After signing it, I ask:

'Okay, so where do I find the one whose ass I have to kiss?'

I am already full of everybody's shit and I haven't even started working here yet.

'Here.' said a manly voice behind me, with a strong Russian accent.

I gulp and widen my eyes in surprise as I turn around to see who spoke. And I shit you not, I am facing the fucking owner of all this empire: the one and only Dimitri Belikov. And he is a pretentious bastard. Now I understand why I was the only stupid person who applied for this job. And now it is too late because I have already signed that damn contract. I am tied with a fucking piece of paper. What the hell is he doing here in the first place? Shouldn't he be in Moscow warming his ass with some vodka?

 **DPOV begins**

She turned around and her face is priceless. Her eyes are wide open and a shocked expression is plastered to her face. I can barely keep a smile. Priceless. Her attitude disappeared the second she saw me. She doesn't look bad either, under that entire good girl facade. Her dark eyes are frozen on me and her full lips are opening and closing repeatedly as she is trying to say something. Her hair is put up into an old lady bun, and I can bet all my money that those dark strands would look better free, hovering over her small shoulders. Her clothes are way too big for her and sloppily cover what Mother Nature gave her. The fully buttoned up to her neck shirt and the too long skirt bother me and I would like to take them off in this exact moment. She has an amazing body and I don't think that she is aware of that. She presents herself as an obedient nerdy type of girl, not what I expected from how I heard her speaking, but that mouth of hers is exposing her true nature. I am officially intrigued.

 **DPOV ends**

'Mister Belikov, this is your new secretary.' Alberta speaks from behind me.

Hearing her speaking, some of my shock disappears and I open my mouth again to say sorry. But he raises a hand and cuts me off.

'I don't want to hear it. Just follow me. Make yourself useful.' he says and gets out of the office.

I realize that I am in deep shit. Like, the deepest shit that ever existed on this planet. And I am in it. This man has a reputation of being able to drive someone insane in a matter of minutes. Only the strongest minded people have the courage to work with this man. And what am I still doing here? I have already fucked up. Why isn't he firing me already? Oh my God, what have I gotten myself into?

'What are you waiting for little girl?' asks Alberta. _'Go_! Do your job. Hurry!' and she gestures some more, urging me to get out the door.

I snap out of my bewilderment and get out of the office, running after my new boss and match his pace.

As he is walking along the hallway, everybody is getting out of his way, making him space to pass and greets him with the typical ''Good afternoon, Mister Belikov'' and a little bow. Wow, so much respect! I roll my eyes. What a bunch of ass-kissers. But wait; am I not one of them now, technically?

But you know what? I didn't know what I was getting myself into. Nobody bothered to tell me who my boss was going to be. So I will act in such a manner that I will get fired. I have no interest in staying for too long into this company anyway, not with this man as my boss, that's for sure. I am making my priority to see how much I can affront this man. Let's see who snaps first. I will not be his little puppy. I _won't_ kiss his ass.

* * *

 **Soooo, what do you think about their first encounter?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey guys! Me again.**

 **Someone said that I should get a beta and I am sorry to disappoint you, but I think that I will continue to update my stories with my little mistakes. The reason for what I am not getting a beta is because I have received like three or four messages about not getting a beta from some accounts because they are plagiarists and I sincerely don't know who to trust. That's all. Oh, and because getting a beta means that I should have to delay my posting and I surely don't want that. :)**

 **I hope you understand my reasons and that you won't mind about it and that this will not be a big impediment in you understanding my story.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

I follow him around the building, not saying anything, acting just like his shadow. And at some point he finally notices that I still exist in his important world, turns his head my way and asks:

'Are you still here?'

I look at him and nod. 'Mhm.' I am not leaving until you kick me out, boy. But first I would like very much to drive you crazy.

'Fine. Follow me.' he says and speeds up his pace. I practically run after him into the long hallway. Damn you and your long legs, Belikov. We get into the elevator.

He presses the button of the last story. Wow. I have never been so high. We are going to the 50th story of this building. Of course that there is his office. So cliché. What was I even expecting? He is the king of everything around here, after all. And he sure as hell acts like one, I see.

As we ascend, I get the chance to actually _see_ him. Do you remember Eddie from earlier? Yeah, you do? Forget him now, because this Belikov guy is a hundred times hotter. First of all, he is tall. Veeeery tall. Maybe 6'6 or 6'7. I don't think I'll ever be able to look into his eyes without tilting my head. Not even if I would wear some very high high heels. His hair is chocolate-brown, about shoulder length and tied at the nape of his neck into a perfect low ponytail. Hell, I can't even pull this perfection, even though I have been putting up my hair since I was five. His eyes are dark brown, his lips are perfectly shaped and plump enough, oh, and his jaw is sculpted just like David's. He is very handsome, I won't deny that. Ah, who am I kidding? He is smoking hot. Almost too hot for his own wellbeing if you ask me. Going further, he sits straight with his chin slightly lifted up and somehow manages to look graceful considering his stature, and this only makes him even hotter into his simple dark suit, with a perfectly white shirt and a black tie completing the outfit. Yeah, this man really knows how to command respect just by his presence. Hell, I feel obedient just by being around him.

I am about to drool all over the floor when he turns his head in my direction. I realize that I have been caught staring and I move my eyes to the elevator's buttons. Am I blushing? I am surely blushing right now. I hope to God that I am not.

The elevator stops, the doors open but he doesn't get out. What, are we going to work in here, in the elevator? This building is so fucking big. Doesn't he have an office or something? Is he the unconventional type? Well, then I am curious to see where he is holding his meetings.

'Will you?' he asks. I turn my head his way, confused. He is showing me the exit. Oh, he wants _me_ to exit first. Wow, I didn't think he would be so polite. At least not with me, and not after what I said earlier.

'Oh, thank you.' I say and I get out and step slowly forward. I am heading towards the only door I see. As I reach it, he extends a hand past me and opens it. As his hand pushes the door, I observe his hands too. He has long thin fingers, just like pianists have. And as the muscles contract, the veins on his hand pop up. Oh, I wonder how those fingers would feel all over my body. _What? Rose, stop it. He's your fucking boss._ Yeah, I know! But everything about him is so fucking hot.

I enter and I find myself into a very bland little office. It has white walls, with nothing hanged on them except a clock on the left wall that is filling the air with its ticking. On the right side, next to a door are a desk and a chair. Behind them is another door. Closer to the door I entered are two stacks of shelves filled with colorful files. In one word, that room is completely boring.

'This is your space.' Yay! Just my luck. 'You can do whatever you like with it.' Thank God. 'That door takes you to my office. Nobody enters without my permission, understood?' I nod rapidly. 'Good. Come.' he says and enters his office. I follow.

I am so surprised that my mouth practically drops. His office is magnificent comparing to mine. Well, compared to my office, even the bathroom seems more fun. You can see the whole city form up here, as the wall facing the door is made entirely of glass. And the rest of his office is not neglectable either. The other walls are painted into a dark blue and have some minimalist paintings hanged on them. On the right wall are some shelves too. Besides the huge window is his bureau, made from some dark hard wood, and three chairs are around it. It looks amazing. Simple and elegant. My boss goes and takes his place into the biggest chair. And man, what a view. He truly looks like a god ruling over everything.

'Where is your notebook?'

'I, um, don't have one. Sir.' I add, suddenly realizing that this man is like, seven years older than me. Damn. He might be my uncle into another life. An uncle I would surely have fantasies at night with.

He simply looks at me expecting something. What should I do? Oh! I get out my phone and open the notes.

'I am ready. I am not really used with this kind-'

'I don't care.'

'Well, there goes my learning.' I mumble so that he cannot hear me and make a little eye roll.

'What did you say?' busted.

'Nothing.'

'Look, Miss...' he gestures his hand in my direction.

'Rose. Hathaway.'

'Miss Hathaway, I don't like it when people mumble. If you have something to say, you'd better say it to my face.'

Well, if I am planning to defy this man, I should better not act like a little girl in front of him. Even though only God knows that I fear this man. There is something about him that makes you feel like this when he is around you. He is _so_ imposing. And his voice, man. So strong. Yeah, I would let him talk dirty to me. _You are doing that thing again._

I clear my throat and repeat myself louder: 'I said that there goes my learning. Madam Petrov from HR told me that I would get time to learn what I am supposed to do, because I have no experience in being a secretary.'

He looks at me somewhat impressed. Was he expecting for me to shut up and begin to cry like some extra sentient girl? I am not going to wimp out in front of him.

'What do you have experience into?'

'I have no experience. I have just graduated.'

'What?'

'Economics.'

'Fine. You'll have your time to learn if you wish. Now remember this: I am drinking two coffees a day. One at 6 a.m. sharp and the other at 5 p.m. Black. Simple.'

'Fine. I noted. Anything else, Sir?'

He checks his watch. I still stand there, waiting for him to say something. He points to his watch. I look on my phone and see that it is 4:55. Oh shit.

'Where should I get your coffee from?'

'Manage that by yourself, Miss Hathaway.'

Without another word I get out of his office and head to the Starbucks I saw earlier in front of the building and order the first type of coffee I lay my eyes on. It has sugar in it, and even some cream. Well, shit happens. I add some more sugar just to be sure. I get back up and put it on his desk.

'What is this?'

'Your coffee, Mister Belikov.' damn that name sounds sooo good. 'You said that I should manage it by myself. And I did. Oh, and unfortunately, they didn't have any coffee without sugar.'

'You are late. It's 5:05 already.'

I can't help myself and roll my eyes right in front of him. Is he fucking serious right now?

'And what was I supposed to do? There was a long line of people ahead of me. Should I have just-' I stop as I make eye contact with him.

He stares into my soul, I can feel it. Is he going to fire me now? My first job lasted so little. That is something to be proud of, right? Can you get a prize for this?

'Next time _you_ are going to make my coffee, into the room next to your office. There is a kitchen.'

'Yes, _Sir_ , I will.' I say smiling, and then I turn around and head for the door.

'Did I tell you you can go?'

Can I punch him now? Do I have to ask permission to _leave_?

'No, Sir, you didn't.' I stop in front of the door and turn.

'From Monday, I don't want to see you wearing those clothes anymore. Wear something proper for this office, Miss Hathaway. You look like a nun.' and to my surprise, he takes a sip of that coffee. And he doesn't pull any face. Maybe just a little. Damn, he has some surprising control of himself, because I think I poured like half a kilogram of sugar in that cup.

'Is it there a dress code that I have to follow?'

'No.' this is all I need to hear. He is going to love what I am going to wear tomorrow.

'Perfect, Sir. May I go _now_?'

'Yes.'

* * *

I spend the rest of the day mostly scrolling through my phone, until he gets out of the office, tells me that I can go home for the day and that he is waiting me on Monday. Ah, I can't wait to come to work on Monday already. If only this day has been so palpitating, I can only imagine what awaits for me next. We are going to have so much fun together, I can feel it.

* * *

 **So the teasing began.**

 **What do you think guys? Is he going to fire her soon?**

 **Lots of love!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello!**

 **No offence taken friendly adviser :)**

 **I got my text verified on Grammarly as you suggested and I hope that it's better now.**

* * *

'Are you out of your mind?' asks Christian wiggling a french fry in my direction. 'Do you even know who you are dealing with there, Rose? I mean, this man could make you disappear from the face of the Earth and nobody would say a thing because they are too afraid to even look him in the eyes, and you plan to defy him? Did you hit your head recently or something? And how do you even plan to do that? Bring him the wrong coffee every day?'

'No, I didn't hit my head. And I didn't ask to be his ass kisser, okay? Nobody told me that I will be working for this guy. If I would have known, do you think I would have signed any contract? No! But now I am bound with a fucking piece of paper. So, I am going to be a pain in his ass, until he fires me. Because I am not going to give anyone the satisfaction of seeing me quit. Not to that ''you won't last more than a week'' Petrov woman and especially not to him. Rose Hathaway is definitely not a job quitter. I won't be another secretary he drove insane. This time it will be the other way around. And in fact, I don't think I had so much fun in months. You should have seen the face he made yesterday while trying not to spill all that liquid sugar I brought to him. It was hilarious. Oh, and the stare he gave me when I put that Starbucks cup on his table? Priceless. And besides that, I get paid to fuck with him. What more could I ask for from this life?'

'Um, some more time living peacefully on this planet might seem a good idea to ask for.' Christian replies very proud of himself. I crumble my napkin and throw it in his direction.

'Don't you think that you are exaggerating a little, Rose?' asked Lissa, the voice of good reason. 'Is it that bad? I mean, maybe he is not that bad in fact. Maybe he is just harsh because he has to, you know?'

'No, I surely don't exaggerate. As I was waiting for him to move his ass home yesterday, I talked a little with some other girls from around the building. By the way, they are not easy to find. I could barely find two gals hanging on a hallway. I guess that everybody out there is a prisoner into their office. Or they are playing some continuous hide and seek game nobody bothered to tell me about. Anyway. He is famous around there when it comes to his secretaries. First of all, he fucks everything he lays his eyes on, no exception. He is _that_ arrogant. He thinks that he can have every girl he wants and it seems that those stupid girls before me just proved him right. I'll give this to him, he is hot. No. Smokin' hot. If he wouldn't be such a dick, even I would jump on him. But he won't lay a damn finger on me. Oh, and to complete the package, after he has sex with them, his little girlfriend finds out somehow; who knows, maybe he brags to her; and she would just go to HR and make those poor girls get fired, just because she can't make his toy stay locked into his pants. Yeah, it's those women's fault too, but still. Plus, I don't even understand why his girlfriend is putting up with this shit and doesn't just go and look for someone better. I mean, he's not the only man on earth.'

'Yeah, but you know-'

'Oh and hear this...sorry for interrupting you Liss...he has a record. Well, others keep track of that, but you get what I mean. Listen to this. He has made a secretary go to HR crying and quit in only 25 minutes. Nobody could make her say what happened. I am one of the lucky ones if I got past that. And the longest time one girl could handle his annoying ass was, can you guess? A whole week. Just one week. I have no idea what he does to them; maybe he is just too intimidating and they can't handle the pressure, I don't know. But I surely won't let him fuck with me. I will do anything in my power to turn everything he says or does. And maybe, just maybe, he will begin to act like a fucking normal human being for once. This is a revolution that I am starting against horrible bosses. Right here, and right now my friends. Are you with me?'

Christian was now imitating crying sounds. 'Oh, my dear Rose, you grew up so fast. Now you are going to follow your own path in life and you are living for a greater purpose: not letting bosses fuck with their employees. Both literally and figuratively. I am so, so proud of you.' He says fakely wiping some tears. 'Lissa, our baby girl is finally a grown up. What do you say about making some patches too? We could write on them something like, ''Chastity belt for Belikov'' and then hand them all around the office. '

'Oh, bite me, Ozera.' I say but I can't stop myself from laughing. Setting aside the sarcasm thrown in my direction, he is funny.

'So, what do you plan to do first?' Lissa asks.

'I plan on starting with this little baby' I say as I show them a notebook with unicorns that is full of pink glitter and which I bought that morning. 'I have the feeling that he won't enjoy all this glitter falling on his precious papers. Or getting glued on his Armani suits. Or all over the floor.' I say smiling mischievously.

 **Monday comes**

I am planning on taking things one by one, so I give up on dressing up in a clown's suit for now, but this thing is going to come to life a little later. I just need to find the perfect day to do so. Oh, and maybe if I will get out from under his desk dressed like that I will scare him hard enough to give him a heart attack.

I resume to simply dressing into a plain black skirt I haven't worn since senior high, that passes my knees and a flowery old blouse my mother bought me and I never really wore. Now I am looking like a grandmother, not a nun. Maybe he will like this change. But what is coming next is going to be so fun. I can't wait for that day.

I get to the office around 5:45. It is so hard for me to wake up so damn early. How was I even able to do this in high school? Now I can barely keep my eyes open. But this is my job, for as long as it lasts.

I make his coffee, black, simple, the way my mother uses to. This is one of the few things that I have from her besides constant disapproval. Well, we manage with what we get, right? I pour the coffee into two mugs, one for him and one for me because I don't think I'll make it till noon without some extra help. At exactly 5:59 I knock on his door and he lets me in. I carry his cup of coffee in one hand and my bright pink, very glittery notebook in the other.

I smile as I say 'Good morning, Mister Belikov.' and get closer to his desk. I place the coffee cup right next to a coaster that I have seen and decided to ignore and sit on one of the chairs in front of him. To some more effect, I pretend to adjust my position by wiggling left and right, making the expensive leather squeak under my moves.

He takes his eyes off the papers that he was reading, greets me back and then stares at the cup of coffee. Hell, if he stares at it for longer, he might be able to move it telepathically, I guarantee that. He opens his mouth. Let the fun begin.

'The coaster is there for a reason, Miss Hathway.'

'It's Hathaway.' I say with some attitude, emphasizing the second a. He can at least know my damn name.

He blinks once in response and clenches his jaw. Is he going to fire me now?

I put my notebook on his beautiful bureau with a thud, so that some glitter would spread around, I raise and move the cup on the coaster.

'Is this better, Sir?'

He looks away and takes a deep breath.

'Yes. It is better.' then he takes the cup and sips.

'I thought I told you to make the coffee yourself, not to buy it and change the cup.'

'But I made it myself.'

'No, you didn't. Don't lie to me.'

'I am not. And if you don't trust me, Sir, you are my guest tomorrow to see how I am preparing it.'

I so liked to add those unnecessary ''Sirs'' into my sentences, told with a specific tone. I could feel that they were irritating him. Exactly what I wished.

Then, I take my notebook, open it and take a pen out of my skirt's pockets. He eyes that notebook like he wants to burn it with his stare. Good. Let's just hope that I won't burn along with it.

'So, what are we going to do today, Mister Belikov?'

He blinks again. I can say that he is pissed off. Big time.

'You have to tell me that, not the other way around. You should have already made my schedule for the whole week. There is an agenda on your desk.'

'Oh, but I didn't know that. May I be excused a little, Sir?'

He nods. As I am making my way to the door, he says:

'Miss Hathaway?'

'Yes, Sir?'

'I thought I told you to get rid of those nun clothes.'

'Oh, but I did. These are my grandma clothes.' I respond as I exit his office smiling.

As I close the door I hear him say something in Russian. I hope that he is not saying bad words to me. Because I have my stash of bad words if he wants to argue. And what about not liking people mumbling? Doesn't the rule apply to him too?

I turn around, open the door and ask: 'Did you say something, Mister Belikov? I think I didn't hear it clear enough.'

His face turns blank and he eyes me.

'I guess that I am just hearing things then.' and I put on a smile. 'My bad.'

God, it feels so good fucking with him. How far can I take it until he snaps?


	7. Chapter 7

Five minutes later I am back into his office with the schedule for the whole week. But on Thursday, especially for him, I programmed a dinner with himself at seven, at some of the fanciest restaurants in town. He is going to go to that restaurant and wait for Mister Alexei Rudov. Whoever the hell this nonexistent man would be. I hope that he would wait all night long. Maybe I'll even get Lissa to go with me and watch him try to keep his shit together. Yeah, that would be really fun. It would beat any movie we would watch on our movie night.

For today he has a presentation and a dinner with someone named Tasha. Is this that stupid girlfriend of his? Yeah, I guess that this was her name. I didn't bother to withhold this information.

He takes me with him at that presentation. It is about how they were going to cushion some investment into the construction of some apartment buildings, if they decide to make it.

We enter a full conference room and take the only two empty seats that have the best view in the room. I bet that no one ever dares to touch these chairs. I sit next to him and someone shortly begins to speak.

And I try so hard to listen to the man speaking in front of us. But I get tired of all the useless technical details he gives to us, just to sound intelligent. I particularly dislike this kind of people. He could have said what he is currently saying for one hour now in only half an hour and be more effective, but he chooses to waste everybody's time instead. And I don't think he'll finish soon. His PowerPoint says 23/59. We are totally doomed. If I fall asleep is anybody going to notice? I promise not to snore.

At some point along the presentation, as I was carrying that stupid notebook with me, Belikov leans over and tells me:

'You are my secretary. You should take some notes.' and points towards my notebook, a smug expression on his face.

What? Couldn't he understand all that bullshit that the idiot in front of us was speaking about and wanted me to simplify it for him? Fine. I open my little notebook, careful to spread in the process some glitter on his pants and shoes and begin to write a hell of a summary. Like he is really going to read it anyway. He is doing this on purpose.

''Lots of technical useless bullshit. Useleeeeeess.

He tries too hard to seem smart. He's not. Like, at all. Trust me, I can tell.

Did he just mispronounce Taiwan? Please tell me that I was the one who heard that wrong.

Where did they even find this man? Did someone check if he is really an employee here?

You have got to be kidding me! He did that again!

**Face palm**

Take this man back to first grade, please.

Let's make him write it down, what about that?

He doesn't understand himself half of the things he is saying.

But neither do I, I sincerely confess. And neither anybody else in here I guess.

We work with money for fuck's sake!

We are not building those apartments with our own hands. We would be on the construction site, hammers in hands if we would.

We don't need to know that there are like 374 types of polystyrene either.

We want to know where the money is going!

And from where the money is coming. If it is even going to come.

He is wasting everybody's time.

I am bored.

Is this going to last forever?

It seems so.

Am I going to get old here?

Well, at least I am wearing grandma clothes already.

I think that some white hairs are starting to grow on my boss' head.

Yup, I just spotted one!

Oh, I think I almost fell asleep.

My luck that this guy is still speaking.

Otherwise, I'd take a nap on my boss.

He seems comfy.

I want to stab myself into the eye with this pen.

But I'll make a mess around here and someone would surely make me clean it up.

This glitter looks so cute on my boss' black pants.

It's shiny.

And it is setting off his eyes too.''

 **DPOV begins**

She actually listened to me and now she is hasting through the pages of the notebook, filling them with big curly words. And she looks, well, cute. I have never used this word to describe any other human being except a kid, but in this very moment, Rose simply looks cute. She seems truly concentrated on what she is doing and it seems that nothing around her exists anymore as she keeps on shifting her attention from the man speaking to the pink notebook that she is proudly carrying around. Did I mention that as she is writing down she is knitting her eyebrows lightly into a small grimace and from time to time her tongue would get out and rest between her full lips as she is finishing the sentence, taking care to put all the diacritics in place? Yeah, there is no other word that could describe her at this moment except cute.

I hear my surname and snap out of my daydream. I think that I have lost the last ten minutes of the presentation. Totally worth it, in my opinion. Wait, what? What is happening to me? Since when am I studying women? I mean, I would usually check them out, looking at their body, but this time it is different. It's like her features are mesmerizing me. And I can't stop thinking about how she would look with her hair unclasped. I have known this woman since Friday and now I am not capable of taking my eyes off her. _What the hell Dimitri?_

 **DPOV ends**

''I could have made this presentation shorter.

And on the fucking point.

Some people around here might have something else to do today.

But what do I know?

**eye rolls internally so that she wouldn't get caught by her boss**

I'm not the one having a schedule for someone written in my notebook.

This presentation is going on for too long now.

Does anybody understand all the things that this guy is debiting?

It could have lasted for half an hour.

And everybody would have left with something in their heads.

And anyway he is wrong.

They won't be able to get their money back.

And surely as hell, they won't make any profit.

Ha! This guy is trying to fool everybody in this room.

If they invest in this project, I am going to quit.

But meh, what do I really know?

I only make some coffee in this building.

And I take notes that no one will read at presentations.

Oh, and I am the owner of a vagina.

So my opinion doesn't matter anyway.

Is somebody going to read my notes or I am wasting this pen for nothing?

Maybe I should have drawn a kitten instead.

Too bad I suck at drawing.''

Proud of myself, I close the notebook and throw a smile in my boss's direction.

Finally, the presentation finishes. We get up and head to the office. In the elevator, he extends a hand in my direction. I look at him questioning.

'Your notebook. I saw you made some notes. I want to see them.'

'Um, I don't think that-'

'The notebook, Miss Hathaway.'

I extend it and bow my head down. Well, this my friends, is the end of my career.

 **DPOV begins**

She wrote about five pages. But I don't find what I expected to find. There is no summary of the presentation. Not that I needed one. I just wanted to play with her, to see what she is going to do.

And I am pleasantly surprised. This girl has some brain, not just like my other secretaries that would act like sheep. She is right about that incompetent. He was full of shit. She is the only one who didn't buy that man's bullshit. Everybody else just agreed with him. I am impressed.

And she has a sense of humor too. But I don't appreciate her language very much. She seems too nice to speak this way. I can't imagine these words coming out those beautiful lips of hers.

I wouldn't have minded at all if she would have fallen asleep on me, that's for sure.

At the glitter part, a little smile escapes my lips. I know that she brought that thing with her on purpose. She made sure to walk all over the office this morning and I could see her scratching her nails on the covers to make the glitter fall. It is really a pain in the ass to get rid of so much glitter. All my office is covered in pink shiny sparkles now. I think I am going to take some of it home too.

She seems to have the brains, but she seems too full of herself. Yeah, she was able to see through that man's words, but what matters is what she would be able to do next. I'll give her a chance to prove herself. Let's see how she manages this. Will she still have the words by her side then?

 **DPOV ends**

He opens it. And he reads. At some point, he gives a little smile. Oh, he just found a way to make me feel sorry for this, right? He reads some more. Then, before finishing, he frowns. He closes the notebook and gives it back to me. I take it. His hand is full of glitter. I almost laugh. Almost. Because he is fixating me with his glare. I look back at him. If he is going to fire me, he will have to look me into the eyes while he does it.

In response, he nods.

'You are right.'

I look at him in pure surprise. What? No, ''You are fired Miss Hathaway, get the hell out.''?

'Why?'

'Why what?'

'Why do you think we won't get our money back?'

'I don't think that. I know it for sure.'

'Tell me why.'

'Because no normal person would even buy an apartment in that area. Yeah, it is nicely placed and the view is spectacular, but in order to build that, that little genius wants to clear out like half a forest. That increases the risk of landslides to the roof, especially if it is a rainy area. People won't care if the apartment has been made with bricks brought from fucking Taiwan or other things like that. They will care if the building can resist in time. People want stability when it comes to their homes. And that building won't resist for too long. Simple. Even a little kid won't fall for that guy's shit.'

He nods again. 'Good, Hathaway, good. Now make a presentation and prove that guy wrong. And watch your language.'

'Oh, yeah..oh sh- oh sorry, Sir. When does it have to be done? Should I give you the notes or something?'

'No. Tomorrow. Go home and do the presentation. Tomorrow you are going to talk in front of the people. It's your work so it's presentation too.'

I frown. 'M-m-me? I'm just a secretary. Why should I make this presentation in front of all those people?'

'It's your idea. So you are going to show it to the people.'

'No. I don't do this type of things. You are the boss, so you do it.'

'No. You will do it. '

'But I am afraid of speaking in public. I won't do it.' I shake my head, trying to emphasize my decision.

'You'll get over it.' He says lazily. 'It won't be that bad.' Like you would have any idea.

'Yes, it will. There was this one time in third grade when I had to present this book in fr-'and I see him very interested in what I have to say but I decide to stop. Why would I even want to embarrass myself in front of him with that stupid story? I sigh. 'It doesn't matter. I'll do it.' It's not like I have any other chance, right?

Seeing that things have gotten his way, he nods and turns around. 'See you tomorrow, Miss Hathaway.' he says lastly as he enters his office.

Me and my cleverness. Now I have put myself into some bigger shit.

* * *

 **Soooo, how do you like it so far?**

 **Let me know!**

 **XOXO**


	8. Chapter 8

I spend almost all my night studying papers and trying to come up with a good speech. I can write one; I am good with words, always have been. But to speak in front of so many people? Naaaah. I couldn't. I just couldn't. Why did I have to brag? Me and my big mouth. I so deserve this shit.

Finally, around three in the morning I finish it. And I really like it. Now the only thing I have to do is to actually show it in front of like fifty people. Fuck! I hope that I won't stutter. Not too much at least.

I go to sleep. At least I can catch a good nap until my clock rings.

And that bastard does ring. In exactly three seconds, Lissa throws a pillow at me.

'Make that stop! I am trying to sleep. I had a night shift for God's sake!'

'Yeah, yeah. Sorry, Liss.' I respond as I get up. God, I feel so bad. My eyes are stinging. And I can't stop myself from yawning. Maybe going to sleep wasn't such a good idea after all. It's easier to stay up until five than to wake up at this inhumanly hour.

I drag myself out of the cozy bed and I take a cold shower, waking up for good. I put on a nice body fitted blue dress and encircle my waist with a thin black belt. Lissa educated me in some psychology last night, saying that it is proven by some studies that if you were wearing blue, people were inclined to think that you are saying the truth. The things scientists waste money and time on, instead of finding the way to make you live forever, huh? But hell, I guess I need all the help I could get. I put my hair into a high ponytail, put on some black high heels and get out fast, because I am about to be late. I get into the car, throw all of my papers on the passenger seat and push the speed pedal.

I arrive at 5:40. Well, I have time to make that coffee. And I sure as hell need one; otherwise I'll fall asleep on the projector. I get upstairs and go into the little kitchen. I almost squeal as I see Belikov sitting on one of the chairs. _What the hell?_

'Um, good morning, Mister Belikov! You came to see with your own eyes how I am making that coffee with _my_ _own_ hands?'

He nods. _Really_? Okay, this man has trust issues or something? Why would I even lie about a damn coffee? But I am in no position to criticize him right now. Maybe later. Surely later.

While I prepare it, I keep on yawning. And I don't seem to be able to stop.

'Long night?'

Like he didn't know. He is the one who told me to make that presentation. I almost give him a bitch glare. Instead, I restrain myself and nod.

The coffee is done and I take the kettle to pour it into the cups. As I am doing so, he rises from his chair and comes behind me, a little too close for my taste I may add, and he tilts his head to see what I am doing. What, is he afraid I'll put some poison into his cup? I could have done that yesterday. And maybe I _should_ have done it.

I glue myself to the counter, to avoid contact with him. The hell if I am ever going to give in to him. He can try everything he wants. Then, when nothing would work out his way, he could just go to hell.

I turn around and hand him the hot cup, creating some distance between us.

'Here. Taste it, please. It will prove you that I am not lying, _Sir_.'

He takes it and sips, and then nods. I take my coffee too and drink it.

We stay there, facing each other and sipping coffee. It feels so awkward. Should I say something? Did the room just become smaller? I suddenly feel shy and I have no idea why.

He finishes his cup and puts it on the counter behind me.

 **DPOV begins**

I again got closer to her in the process and her strong perfume infiltrates into my nostrils. God, she smells delicious. I'd like a piece of her right now, on this counter. The smell of jasmine combined with some vanilla I guess is simply hypnotizing and my brain clouds for a second. I get in front of her. She slowly raises her head and looks at me. This blue dress is perfectly rounding all of her curves and contrasts with her dark eyes and I lose myself into that deepness. She seems confused and opens her mouth to say something, but words don't come out. Looking at her lips moving, I suddenly feel the need to touch her. Without any conscious thought, I raise my hand and move it upwards, with the intention to brush my fingers on her plump lips. They must be so soft. But her eyes widen and her head turns around fast, and she is now looking at my halfway up arm. Is she afraid of me? I won't do anything to her. Well, not unless she wants me to. Oh, and the things I would do with her.

 **DPOV ends**

Does he want to touch my arm or something? The hell if I am letting him put one finger on me! _Find something Rose, fast!_

'Oh, God, it is so late!' I say as I point to his watch. 'People must be waiting for us.'

He looks like his plan didn't go as he thought it would. Aw, too bad for him. Get used to it Belikov.

'You go, Miss Hathaway. Start without me. I have something to do first.'

I nod, gather all my notes and get to the conference room. It is full of people. Five people is the maximum I can handle. But this? This is waaay to much. I already feel sick. I enter and greet everybody. Just some of them bother to respond. The others are busy ignoring me. I get to the front of the room.

'Um, can I have your attention, please? Hello again!' I say louder and the chit chat stops. My name is Rose Hathaway and,' aaand, they got back to ignoring me. 'Um, Mister Belikov told me to start the presentation without him. He will join us some time later.'

But almost no one is paying attention to me. I put my PowerPoint on and I take a deep breath.

'So, I am going to present to you all the reasons why yesterday's apartment construction-'' Just like three people look at me. I grit my teeth. '-is not going to be profitable for this company. I am going to start with the ecological effects that this...'

Okay, so this is like the most unrespectful thing that ever happened to me. So I raise my voice. 'Hey! Would all of you be nice enough to listen to what I have to say? I didn't work all night so that you can ignore me, okay? ' the room goes silent and some of them look seepishly at me, shutting their mouths.' Good. Thanks.'

But a man speaks before I get the chance to get back to my speech.

'Who are you again?'

'I am Rose.' you jackass.

'Yeah, that I heard. But what do you do around the building?'

'I am Mister Belikov's secretary.' some people puff around the room.

The guy rolls his eyes. 'Another one.' he says sarcastically.

'And what is that supposed to mean?' I cross my hands over my chest and throw him an ugly glare.

'Nothing. Just go on with your thing.' and he gets his attention back to the man next to him. 'So what were you saying about Kathy?'

And after this I tell my speech to no one in particular. Everyone is talking to everyone and I can barely hear myself over their buzzing. I can feel my knees shake. I feel so insignificant. I begin to scratch my hands, leaving red marks behind. I am so angry!

All of a sudden, I get dragged back to primary school at that fucking presentation. And I don't like it at all. Who knew kids could get so mean? Good thing I knew how to throw a punch back then too. Too bad that now I can't punch everyone in this room, even though I would like that very much. But I keep my anger under control and just go on with my speech.

Two sentences later, I hear someone whisper: 'What is she doing here anyway? Shouldn't she be giving Belikov a blowjob or something? Instead she's here trying to seem smart.' And God, if I would only have seen the bastard who said that.

You know what? I am not going to let them treat me like this. I am getting out of here now. They can all just go and fuck themselves. I get my notes and make two steps towards the exit. But I spot the fucker who just made that comment, as he is snickering into the back of the room, proud of himself. Well, I am going there to give him a piece of my mind. I am going to tell him who is supposed to give blowjobs and especially to whom. But I don't get the chance, because the door opens all of a sudden.

 **DPOV begins**

I stop before opening the conference room door and listen to what is happening inside. Let's see how she is managing this. People are talking. Did Rose flee already? I got it when she said that she has stage fright, but five minutes were the best she could do? It's weird, because with her attitude and brains, I thought that she would rock this presentation. I already read it and it's really good. I mainly read it because I was planning to give her all my attenton, not to her presentation.

But as I listen closely, I hear her speaking, trying to cover all that noise. And people are speaking over her. Then she stops speaking. I open the door fast and make my way in and I spot her in the front of the room, next to the projector. She is holding some papers into her hands, clutching them into her palm and her face is harsh, jaw tight. But as her eyes meet mine, they transmit me that she is hurt about whatever just happened in here. Anger shots through me out of nowhere.

 **DOPV ends**

 _He_ enters. In a millisecond, the chit chat ceases. Fuckers. I shut up as well.

'Mister Drozdov, what was Miss Hathaway talking about? I couldn't be here to hear the beginning. Would you like to fill me in?'

Complete silence is the only response he gets.

'Miss Rinaldi?'

Silence again.

As he leans over, he slaps the table so hard that I think my eardrums are going to pop. Okay, I am officially scared of this man.

'Then _why_ do we even _bother_?' he says calmly. How he _does_ that? 'Why should we have both the perspectives of a situation if none of you is going to listen?' he continued just as calm, but I could feel that he was about to snap someone's neck. I am horrified. For real. 'Then, we should just invest into this business, right?'

Some unfortunate guys have the courage to say yes.

He slaps the table again. 'Wrong!' he screams this time. My heart is pounding so hard that I think it is going to break my rib cage. I put one hand on the table next to me, to support myself. Where is all of this coming from? 'If any of you would have bothered to even listen to Miss Hathaway over there,' oh, that's me right? What did I do? 'You would have seen that she has a point.'

Nothing happened for like two minutes straight. Nothing moved. No one breathed. The only thing you could hear was the light buzzing of the neons. Then he speaks again.

'Mister Drozdov, take the papers from Miss Hathaway and go make copies for everyone here. You all are going to spend the rest of your day here, reading what she could have told you. And when I come back here, I want to hear her speech from everybody, understood?' and with that he left without getting an answer. What did just happen?

I get out and follow him, still shaking. I guess that this is the right thing I have to do. I am too shocked to do anything else. We get to the hallway and the he turns to me and says calmly, almost soothing, his tone changing drastically from earlier: 'You can take the rest of the day off, Miss Hathaway.'

'B-but I-'

'You did a good job with your presentation, I read it. You will just have to work a little at making people listen to you. But for now, go home.' and he enters the elevator, leaving me bewildered into the hallway.

* * *

'You should have seen him, Liss. He looked like he was possessed or something. And that poor Drozdov guy. He was white as a piece of chalk. I think he may have shit his pants too. And that thing with reading the presentation all day long? Gosh, now I know why people fear him so much.'

'Does this mean that you are going to quit? I really don't like the idea of you being near that man. What if one day he'll snap at you? I mean, you are pushing this man's buttons big time.'

'Hell no! I am still not going to give him this satisfaction.'

'At least promise me that you'll take it easy. I don't know, this entire defying thing, I don't like it.'

'Don't worry. I don't think he'll do anything to me. And I know how to throw a punch. Or run. I'll see what works best in that situation.'

'Rose, don't joke about that. I really don't like this.'

'Chill, Liss. I can handle this shit.' I really hope I do.

* * *

 **Hey Badass Belikova va (BTW, I like your username) I am glad I could brighten up your day and I hope you got an A on your exam :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Now I am not so sure about defying him anymore. I mean, when I saw him snap yesterday I thought that he was going to kill someone or something close to that. Lissa is right. He might snap at me if I keep on pushing his buttons. He is always composed and in control of himself, and even though these days I was fooling around, he just clenched his jaw or looked weirdly at me in response, but as I just saw, things could go south pretty fast. Maybe I should just calm down a little and stop pulling little pranks on him for a while. I am kind of afraid of him right now. Yeah, this is the best approach. I will wait until things settle down.

I am even going to be the perfect employee for some time. Just a little, to see how things are going to work out.

The next day, I make his morning coffee and deliver it. I tell him his schedule for the day, careful not to drop a single flock of glitter into his office, and he dismisses me until he may need me.

Around noon, a woman comes in, walking like a magazine star on a podium, clicking her Louboutin high heels on the concrete floor of my office. She entered my little room not saying a word to me. But I greet her out of courtesy. It's not my fault she doesn't have good manners. But my mum didn't raise a disrespectful child. She inspects me head to toe and gives me a glance that signals me that I am too unimportant for her to even bother opening her mouth. Then keep it shut, bitch. I don't want to hear what you have to say either.

This woman is beautiful from a distance. She is tall, thin, with jet black short hair, styled after the latest trends and pale blue eyes contrasting with all that blackness. She looks like a model. She sure as hell is dressed like one, into that kind of clothes that are very weird when you look at them separately, but that somehow on her body they end up looking good. She has a lot of makeup on, I see as she comes closer. It is not that pleasant to look at it. And under all that makeup, she looks older than she pretends to be. At a closer look, I can say that she is over 35 years old and she is trying way too hard to look younger. And I think that I could feel her expensive perfume from the first floor. It is strong and way too sweet for my taste and it makes me sick to my stomach. Please go away fast whoever you are.

She is now making her way towards Belikov's office door. Um, no! You need permission, bitch! Or that man is going to cut my head off if I let you in without asking him first. And you are surely not worth the risk. When she reaches her hand to open the door I speak:

'Excuse me, Miss, but you cannot get in there without permission.'

She turns her head and looks at me like I have just killed her entire family. Like, how dare I stop her? Well, I could and I did!

'Do you have _any_ _idea_ who _I_ am?'

No, I don't and I don't want to know, but I am sure that you are going to tell me anyway so why would I bother?

'No, Miss, I didn't have the pleasure.' I say as calmly as I can. I am so close to snap at her right now. What if I am just a secretary? Does this give her the right to treat me like shit?

 _'Such_ a shame.' She rolls her eyes. 'I am Tasha.' she says expecting from me some kind of recognition.

Well, I am not going to praise her, whoever she is. But her name sounds familiar to me. Ah! He had dinner with her on Monday. Is this woman his girlfriend? Really? He is looking so damn hot and he is going out with a woman looking like this? So funny! From all women he could have, he chooses her? Is he blind or something? Well, now I may get to understand where that phrase with love is blind comes from. Pff, who am I kidding? If he would love her he wouldn't be walking around looking for other women.

'I am Rose.' I respond and extend my hand for her to shake. She seems so shocked. What, weren't we getting acquainted? She looks down on my hand and rolls her eyes again. I am not contagious, you know? She makes her way towards the door one more time. Didn't I make myself clear enough or what?

'I'm sorry, Miss, but no matter who you are, you will have to wait here until I go and ask Mister Belikov if he will see you.'

'Oh my God! You are so rude! I am Dimitri's _girlfriend_ , little girl. I can go anywhere I want without having to askfor permission. Especially from you.'

'I'm sorry, but I am not going to let you get in before I speak with Mister Belikov.'

I am now doing this game just to piss her off even more. I couldn't care less if she enters his office or not in this second. The faster I get rid of her the better.

'Listen to me! I am going in and you cannot stop me!'

Then the door opens and he calls her name questioningly. She immediately tames herself and kisses him. Ew, gross. How can he kiss something like that? Isn't all that makeup sticking to his face?

'Dimitri, where did you find this little _impertinent_ girl? She didn't want to let me get in. She wanted _permission_.' she says gesturing around. God, if someone around this building is going to call me little girl one more time I am going to claw their eyes out!

'Yes. I told her not to let anyone in without my permission.'

'Including me, _baby_?' she asks in a sugar-coated voice.

Bleah. Double ew. At her age, she is still speaking like that? She would better stop it before I puke on their expensive shoes.

'Maybe she didn't know who you are.' I didn't care who she is, there is a difference. 'Miss Hathaway, from now on, Tasha can enter my office without you having to ask me first.'

I wanted to roll my eyes in response, but instead, I smile and say: 'Of course, Sir.' _Remember, be a good employee Rose. You don't want your neck snapped, right?_

And with that, they go inside. I am now free to roll my eyes and puff in peace.

* * *

This Tasha woman is speaking and laughing just like a horny teenage girl. I know this because her voice is the only sound I heard for the past two hours. I just want to throw myself off the window. Or to stab myself into the ears. Can you do that? It doesn't matter, I am ready to try.

But my torture finally ends and she exits his office. I guess he finally kicked her out because he has an appointment in about twenty minutes. Before leaving, she bends over my desk and gives me a small girl to girl encouragement speech:

'Look at you, you look like a fetus. What are you, fifteen? And learn to dress, for God's sake! You are the secretary of one of the most important men in the world and you show at work wearing _that_?' yeah, I didn't give up on dressing like someone three times my age. 'This is unacceptable! You cannot destroy my man's image with your thrift shop clothes. He has to be seen near you at meetings and I won't allow you to embarrass him in public. And put some makeup on that face of yours! It has spots all over and you look like you have just woken up. And maybe from time to time, you should pass a comb through that bird's nest that you call your hair. You need to lift up your standards if you want to keep on working here. You don't live in Texas or any other county town you came from anymore. You live in the big city and you have an important job now. Act like it or I'll throw your ass from this chair just by snapping my fingers, understood?'

I just simply stare at her. I want to rip her hair out of her head. And to set it on fire, while she is watching it burn. I can barely keep myself together. But instead of reacting badly, I clench my jaw and tell her: 'Thank you for your advice Ma'am.' when I call her like that she leers at me. Hey, it's not my fault that you are so old. 'Have a nice day today.' I dismiss her and then I smile at her until she turns her back to me.

And to her own good, she just leaves with her podium walk.

After the doors of the elevator closed behind her, I went to the bathroom and cried a little. I won't lie. The things she told me got to me. But I got a hold of myself fast. Who the fuck does she think she is anyway?

When I got back, I was still having my eyes red. Belikov called me into his office, and when he saw me, he asked me what happened. Well, your fucking slut just made me feel like shit I wanted to say, but instead, I laughed and told him that I somehow managed to get some soap in my eye while I was washing my hands.

* * *

At about fifteen minutes after that bitch left, another woman comes around. And she is really pretty, in and out. At least she greets me and speaks nicely to me as she tells me that she has come to see Dimitri, not Mister Belikov. So I guess the two of them are familiar.

She is not as tall as Tasha but still has some centimeters in plus comparing to me. Her golden hair is falling in big waves on her shoulders and enframes a thin heart shaped face, with calm features. This woman reminds me of Lissa somehow. Except her eyes are brown. Her slender body is nicely dressed into a pair of tight jeans and a pink blouse with some big ruffles, that help her chest look bigger.

Not soon after she enters his office, the both of them get out and head to the elevator. As the doors are closing, I catch a glimpse of her turning around and practically throwing herself on him and they begin to kiss. Wow. He really lives up to his reputation. Two women in fifteen minutes. Nice. Well, at least she is a better choice compared to Tasha. If I think about it, everybody is a better choice compared to that woman.

* * *

 **Guys, I just want to thank you for your nice words! They mean so much to me and trust me, they are helping me a lot with my writing. It's so nice to see someone appreciates your work. I love you guys! 3**

 **P.S.: Badass Belikova, I hope you rock all your exams.**

 **And trust me guys, Rose is going to mess with Dimitri some more. She is a teaser and neither of them is willing to give in. They love playing this game with eachother. And as you may remember, she already planned a meeting for Dimitri on Thursday. How do you think that is going to work out?**


	10. Chapter 10

**DPOV begins**

It is already six when I get to the office and Rose is not here. I don't like it when people are late and I'll make sure that she is reminded of this.

I take her sparkly notebook, glitter gluing to my whole hand, and head to my office. Let's see what we have to do today. I read her curly handwriting and see my schedule. But who is Alexei Rudov? I have never heard of this man. Did I even agree to meet this man?

Oh, I get it now. This must be one of her little things. But the Starbucks coffee and her notebook are little babies compared to this. Is she really going to make me go to a restaurant and wait for this man or is she going to make someone come there and meet me? Does she really think that I don't know my associates? The thought that she came out with this amuses me.

This girl is something else, that's for sure. She is either completely foolish or extremely courageous, I can't decide. What is she going to do next, make me go to China? We'll see who is the one who is going to be played in the end. Maybe she will think twice about this and would cancel this imaginary meeting after all. If not, I am going to make sure that I am going to have dinner with her later. At least I'll have a reason not to meet with Tasha later.

 **DPOV ends**

On Thursday, I get to the office five minutes later because some douche bag just thought that it would be fun to drive his damn car while being completely wasted and crashed into a STOP sign. Well, at least _something_ stopped him. So, because that guy hit a sign, I had to take the long way around. And now it is five past six and I am still preparing that coffee. Damn it, I was already scared of my boss, I didn't need some special stress.

'Good morning, Mister Belikov! I am sorry for being late but there was this man-'

'I don't care.'

I roll my eyes internally. Well, then screw you Belikov. I place the coffee on his table and I see my notebook there. Did I forget it here? Probably not. I always take it back with me.

'You can take this and go do your thing.' he says pointing to my notebook. I could see that his right hand is full of glitter. 'I took the schedule myself.' I nod 'And next time don't be late.'

'Yes Sir, but you see-'

'I already told you I don't care.' Ugh! I turn around and head for the door. God, it is so hard not to punch him in these kinds of moments. Can't he fucking listen for once? 'And the next time it happens, you are going to be penalized.' I am _what_?

I stop and turn around. I cross my arms over my chest and my voice turns into that thing kids do when they are upset over not giving them a cookie. 'Yeah? And what are you going to do to me?' spank me? I continue the question in my head.

A smug smile appears on his face. 'I don't know. Why don't you try and see for yourself?' God, he is so full of himself.

'Yeah? Maybe I will.'

'Are you?' he raises an eyebrow and his hotness hits the roof in this second. _No Rose. You are supposed to be mad at him, not to check him out._

'I am. Maybe tomorrow I'll be late again. Who knows? The possibilities are infinite.'

'That's completely fine with me, Miss Hathaway.' Who knows what ideas are passing through that mind of his now?

'Fine.' I say and leer at him. I can't help myself. He is pissing me off so much!

'Fine.' He says amused. Ugh!

'Fine! _Jackass_.' I lastly mumble under my breath and head towards the door again.

'What did you say?'

'That I was joking.'

'You know, I have very sharp hearing Miss Hathaway.' Well, too bad. Then listen to this.

' _Bite me_.' I mutter and get out the door.

* * *

Some hours after that, he calls me into his office.

'Here, take this.' I take the credit card from his extended hand. 'I want you to go to a Tiffany's and buy something, I don't care what. I don't care how much it costs either. Necklace, earrings, whatever. But _no_ _rings_.'

Oh, are you afraid of rings? Do they smell like commitment, comrade? Maybe I should get Lissa's engagement ring and follow him around the office with it to see if he reacts like a vampire near a cross. That would be fun to watch.

'But I don't know what-'

'Miss Hathaway, go. You are a woman, you'll know what to pick. Just be sure that you bring it to me before five.'

What am I, his personal gift shopper? Going to Tiffany's surely isn't included in my job description.

I get my things and head to the damn shop. I park my car in front of it and get out. Wow, this shop screams expensive as fuck from the first second you lay your eyes on it. I enter it, and oh, the look the saleslady gives to me. It makes me feel like I am the poorest person on earth.

'Is there something I can help you with, Miss?' she asks into a high-pitched voice.

'Um, I am looking for a gift.' I guess. He surely doesn't wear Tiffany's.

She takes me on a little tour into the nice smelling shop, showing me all kind of jewelry, perfectly illuminated, just to catch your eye. I am completely overwhelmed. I don't know what to pick. There are too many things.

Then I see it: a long golden necklace, with little sparkly stones from place to place. And it has some kind of circle pendant that looks just like a ring, with a small diamond on it. The idea comes from nowhere in my head: I would put the necklace into that box so that only the ring would be visible, just so that I would fuck with him a little more. I am still afraid of him, yes, but I just can't help myself. It is the perfect occasion and I can't miss it.

'I am going to take this one.' I say to the woman.

She raises her eyebrows in response and asks: 'Are you sure?' I nod. She makes that face that tells you fine, do whatever you want and complies, taking the necklace out of its support and we head towards some counter.

How expensive can it be? Some gold and some little shiny stones. Nothing that his big fat bank account can't handle.

"It would be 5000.' The woman says and my face literally drops.

Like dollars? Are you kidding me? Maybe it is a little too expensive after all. I was ready to say that I wanted to take something else, but then I looked at that woman's face. She was having a smug smile on her face that was saying: ''I knew you are broke as fuck and you can't afford this. Go and buy some metal jewelry somewhere at the end of the street. I heard they have some stainless steel too.''

'No problem.' I say smiling and extend Belikov's card. Her face drops this time, as she reads the name written on it.

'Oh, would you like a nice box? It is free. And we can give you a nice gift bag with that. And we can give you some catalogs too, for further shopping' she says, being excited all of a sudden.

Oh, so now she is nice to me? I tell her yes and then I tell her to change the box two times because the others have some imaginary imperfection, just to pay her back.

When I get out of that shop I am totally disgusted. I never wanted to deal with people like this and now I had to on a daily basis. First Tasha and now this saleslady. Can't I find a single decent person around?

It is 4:30 when I deliver the gift. I enter the office and place it on his desk, along with his credit card. He just takes it and unpacks it. No thank you? So mannered, what can I say? I turn around and head for the door.

'Miss Hathaway?'

'Yes _Sir_?' he surely saw how I placed the necklace. It had only the pendant visible and it really looked very much like an engagement ring. I am so proud of myself right now. God, I think that I am going to write a textbook on how to fuck with your boss.

'I thought I told you not to buy any ring.'

'Yes, you did tell me, Sir. And I didn't buy any ring.' I say as innocently as I can.

Oh man, the look he gives me.

'So you want to tell me that this is not a ring?'

'Exactly.'

'Miss Hathaway, do yo-'

But I don't let him finish, because I come in front of him and take the little box from his hand. And our hands brush a little in the process. His skin is so soft and so warm, contrasting with my always cold hands. I can feel some electricity passing through the fingers that touched his skin too.

I take out the whole necklace and dangle it in front of his eyes.

'See? It is a necklace. It's not my fault that the saleslady packed it the way she did.' well, it is, but he doesn't have to know.

I could have sworn that he seemed amused for a second but instead of smiling, he clenches his jaw and throws me a glare as I put back the necklace.

'Go get my coffee.' He commands.

'But it's not five yet.'

'I need it now.'

Okay, mister grumpy pants. It annoys me so much when he gives me orders. I am a human being, not a trained chimp. And he could at least throw a thank you from time to time. Is it that hard?

Around six or so, that woman Tasha comes around. Again. Is she going to come here frequently? Because I don't want to see her face very often. One day I might make something I'll surely regret after I get to jail. But I will surely enjoy it too. I decide it would be worth the captivity.

I just greet her and don't bother much with her existence. I still want to smack her into that painted face, but I am controlling myself quite well. At least for now. I don't want to get fired soon. I still have some messing with Belikov to do.

She enters his office and about five minutes later she begins to act like a horny teenager again, laughing and squealing. Then she says:

'Aw, I thought you forgot, baby! This necklace is so, so, so beautiful! I love it! Help me put it on.'

Waaait a second. The necklace I bought earlier was for her? If I only knew, I would have taken her something cheaper and much uglier. Maybe I would have even picked something from stainless steel as well.

"What do you mean you can't go with me? What am I supposed to do alone then? What dinner? Oh, come on, Dimitri!'

Silence. I guess that he is saying something to her.

'Oh, really? You always say that, but we don't seem to get to do it lately. In fact, we haven't been doing it for quite a while.'

Another pause.

'Fine, _babe_. Then I am going to wait for you later tonight. Come around nine, okay?'

These were the last words she spoke before exiting, her face filled with a satisfied smile.

Not so much time later, he exits too and tells me that he is going to a business dinner and that I could go home. Yay to me! I got out early today.

'Do you have something to tell me?' he asks just before leaving. Is this some kind of a game he wants to play? What should I tell him?

'Good luck?'

No, not this. He is still looking at me expecting something.

'Um, have a good night?'

He nods and a teeny tiny smile escapes his lips. 'Have a good night too, Miss Hathaway.' He says with a weird tone and leaves.

What the hell was that?

* * *

 **Dear Guest, I know, I hate her too. But I need Tasha for the drama. And you need to know that I love drama. ;)**

 **Aaand you, the other Guest who reviewed, I get it, it's your opinion and I totally respect it. I can't make everyone like my writing. But please make me understand what depth you would like to see in my story. I am not writing philosophical shit so yeah, there is no depth in it. What would you expect from a fan fiction? It's just a story.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Don't worry Magilineals, from now on, hot Rose comes in town. No more baggy ugly clothes. :)**

* * *

'Oh gosh Liss, you have no idea how much I dislike that woman. She just walks around like she is the most important person on earth. And oh,' I say while I fill my mouth with popcorn 'and the way she looks down on me like I am some sort of peasant. Yeah, I can't afford some Louboutins but I am sure as hell that I have much more brain in my head than this painted doll.' I continue with my mouth full. 'I swear to God that if she-'

My phone begins to ring. Who could call me at eight in the evening? I pick up my phone and see a number I don't know. I answer anyway. It may be something important.

'Rose here.' I say while munching on my popcorn.

'Miss Hathaway?'

I get to my feet from instinct. Some popcorn gets blocked into my throat as I was swallowing and I begin to cough.

'Mister Belikov.' I say, my eyes watering. 'Y-yes, it's me.'

Lissa's eyes widen and she asks: 'The _tyrant_?' a little too loud. I swear that she has no control over how loud she speaks sometimes. And she does that in the most inconvenient moments. Like now.

'Shhhh' I say while I kick her with my foot and give her an ugly glare. She makes herself little and doesn't utter another word.

'I'm sorry, what?' he asks. Oh, fuck! Him and his sharp hearing.

'Um, nothing, Sir. It was just my, um, my cat.'

'I have a question for you, Miss Hathaway.' he seems pissed.

'Fine, Sir. Say it.'

'Where is Mister Alexei Rudov?'

Oh my God. I totally forgot about the dinner thing. What should I do? Maybe if I play the innocent card he will leave me alone.

'Um, I don't know, Sir. He should have been there already. No one called to cancel or something.'

 _'Miss Hathaway_ , I have been waiting for over an hour here. I don't like waiting for people. And I don't like having dinner on my own either. I _hope_ that in the next, let's say, twenty minutes _someone_ will eventually show up, otherwise _you_ will be the one regretting this.' he says and hangs up, not giving me any chance to say anything.

I am so fucked. Monumentally fucked. Where should I get this man from? How could I have been so stupid and forget about this? What was I even thinking when I made that appointment in the first place? Why didn't I erase it? He surely knows it was me. _Good job, Rose. Your master plan just turned against you._

I throw myself on the couch, cover my face and growl.

'Rose, what's the matter?'

I tell her everything starting with the appointment I made since Monday.

'And he said that if someone isn't going to show up in _twenty minutes_ , _I_ will be the one who will regret this. Whatever this means. I don't want to find out what that means. He already threatened me this morning with that penalization thing. Oh! I know! What if I pay some hobo to go there and pretend he's that man? I'll even find him a suit. Hell, I'll give him a bath too if he wants to.'

'Yeah, sure, do that. And they are going to talk about the best garbage cans in town where you can find tacos, right?'

'I am so fucked, Lissa. What should I do now?'

'You go there.'

'I _what_? Are you insane? Do I even look like a man? Is all this lack of sleep messing with your brain again sweetie? Of course it does because you are talking shit.'

'He said someone, Rose. Not that man in particular. And you are a _someone_ , right?'

If I think about it, this might actually work. I get up and take my notebook. Shit! Why did I make reservations at one of the fanciest restaurants around here again?

* * *

Five minutes later I am dressed into a midi dark red dress, with my makeup done flawlessly by Lissa, God bless her soul for these skills, and my hair put up into a nice high ponytail. I get into a taxi, telling the driver to take me to The Emperor. Another ten minutes later, I get out of the taxi and I find myself in front of the restaurant. What am I doing here? This damn place is so fancy just from the outside with all these lights and modern architecture. Inside, people are surely dressed in expensive clothes. And I look like a homeless person in comparison. Fine, not really, but I just got my dress from Forever 21, so you get what I mean. But I have to do this. I really don't want to find out how I am going to regret this. Some time spent in here is way better than anything this man would be capable of doing to me. And I have the feeling that he has a great imagination.

As I enter, I can feel the stares people throw in my direction. I already know that this is not a place I have to be in people, you don't have to constantly remind me of that. I get to a little desk and I tell the man there, a short one, jowly and with a receding hairline but with a warm smile, that I came to meet Mister Belikov. Pity fills his eyes in a second. He feels sorry for me. Are things that bad? Does everybody around here know how pissed he is? God, I am so dead right now. The man tells me to follow him and takes me through tables with people eating.

 **DPOV begins**

I spot her before she sees me. I am surprised that she actually came here. I thought that she would pull some other trick on me and she would actually find a man to impersonate this Rudov man. But I guess that even she has her limits. I thought about her not coming at all too. My ''you will regret this'' line was just something that I said in order to convince her somehow to come here, and it looks that it actually worked. After all, I want to pay her back for this little thing she did today. I begin to enjoy our back and forth game. It's fun.

As she is walking through the full tables, she is looking left and right, like an excited kid, admiring everything around the place, her eyes widened in awe. She is moving graciously, but under all that confident facade, she looks tense up too. What does she think that I am going to do to her anyway?

But at least now she is not wearing those dull clothes anymore. This dark red dress looks perfect on her, emphasizing every curve of her body. I was right about her. She looks amazing under all those baggy clothes. Her hair is still tied into a ponytail, like always, and it is moving left and right as she is making her way towards my table. To my surprise, she is now wearing makeup too. Not that she would really need any. She looks better than any fancy-dressed woman in here anyway. There is a certain appeal to her that I can't seem to resist. I want to know more about her. And I plan to study her all night long. Some time ago I called Tasha and dodged my way out of her bed once more, so I have all the time in the world.

 **DPOV ends**

This place is superb. It has such an intimate air. And the colors are perfectly combined. Light brown, white, and dark purple. So much good taste. On the background, I can hear one of those classical songs with no lyrics that is perfectly completing the decor. The people around me are all dressed in fancy clothes and all women are having their hair done and are wearing a ton of jewelry. Me, on the other hand, I stand out from the crowd, just by not fitting in here. I am completely bland. But even though, I still catch some men staring at my ass as I pass their tables and I need to fight the urge to slap them. Of course, this feeling is surpassed by my anxiety that is reaching higher and higher limits as we get closer to his table.

We still have a little walking to do, but I spot him before we get there. And he is watching me as I get closer, his face undecipherable. His gaze moving up and down on me does funny things to me. I pretend to pull my dress down, trying to arrange it, in order to not make eye contact.

He is even hotter than three hours ago if that is even possible. It surely seems so. He is wearing a navy-blue Armani suit, with a white shirt, unbuttoned at his neck, letting his collarbones slightly visible, with no tie. He hasn't his coat on, and I can distinguish his toned muscles through the perfectly fitted shirt. But what shocks me the most is that his hair is untied, enframing his perfect face. It is the first time I see him like this and God, please keep me steady; I gulp as I think about passing my hands through his chocolate hair.

We get closer to his table, and I just can't look him into his eyes. I may have gone too far this time and I know that he knows what I did so I expect for him to snap at me anytime now. And it's perfect that we have some audience too. Double embarrassment. He rises when I get there and greets me, speaking calmly:

'Good evening, Miss Hathaway. I'm glad you could make it.'

What? He expected _me_ to come? Okay, it seems that person played out here is me, not him. I mumble a ''Good evening'' in response.

Then, he comes beside me and helps me sit. As he is pushing my chair forward, I turn my head in his direction to thank him and I almost make contact with his face, that close he is to me. I take a deep breath in to calm myself and man, he smells divine. His scent is so fragrant that I feel like I am going to faint right on spot. He smells like wood, offering him a distinguishable earthy aura, combined with faint nuances of some spice. I just want to bury my nose into the crook of his neck and never leave that place. His scent persists around me long after he takes his seat, making me feel dizzy.

'May I bring you your food, Sir?' someone asks from my left and brings me back to reality.

'Yes.' my companion responds and he also orders a bottle of wine.

The waiter leaves and comes back two minutes later with the bottle of wine and pours some for us. The second he stops pouring into my glass, I extend my hand and take it, bring it to my mouth and drink like half of it. I am so going to need the booze. I predict a long evening. And the wine is so damn good. It is red and has a sweet cherry flavor, combined with some spice notes. And I can see that it is quite old too. Well, the older the better, right? My taste buds are practically in heaven right now, unlike the rest of me, who is surely in hell.

* * *

 **I already know how the dinner will turn out, but what do you think will happen next?**


	12. Chapter 12

**Dear Jacjac, you guessed right! This chapter will involve some power play and a sexual move.**

 **And Magilineals, I hope that this isn't too embarrassing for Rose, but I just wanted to show their power play. She will pay him back eventually.**

 **Enjoy, guys! :)**

* * *

None of us speaks. And this makes me so uncomfortable. I am used to the silent treatment, as it would be something that I constantly get from my mother when I piss her off, a thing that has happened quite a lot along the years, but coming from him, it bothers me very much. It bothers me to the point of wanting to act crazy, just to make him say something, but I keep a hold of myself as best as I can. There are so many things passing through my mind that I would like to tell him, but I am way too proud to start a conversation myself. If he is not uttering any word, neither am I. And I get the vibes that he is approaching the same strategy, expecting me to give in first. Well, I won't.

I constantly waggle in my chair, trying to find a comfortable position, but it's like this chair has spikes included under the thick velvety material. And I can practically feel my blood boiling on the inside. This sensation hasn't left my body ever since he laid his eyes on me earlier. And I guess that my cheeks are matching my dress by now. On the other hand, he seems so damn calm, just like always. I think that he is enjoying this thing very much. Too much. He has that pride in his eyes. Well, I hope you choke on your food Belikov.

* * *

We eat a total of nine small courses and drink two bottles of wine in almost complete silence, the only sounds between us being the clinks of the cutlery on the plates. I spend most of my time looking at the little pink hortensias from the center of the table, but I lift my gaze from time to time to look at him expectantly, waiting for him to actually say something, to state his superiority or something, but the only thing I get is a faint proud smile that appears on his lips every time we make eye contact. He's doing this shit on purpose too, as he can see that this thing is annoying the shit out of me. But to hell if I am going to give in. I can give the silent treatment too for as long as he wishes.

And the time passes so fucking slowly. It's like the time is on his side and it keeps on expanding forever, just to mock on me some more. But for how many things I have done to him, I guess that I deserve this shit. And he doesn't waste the occasion of paying me back big time.

The food here is not that spectacular either, as you would expect from such a fancy restaurant. One of the first plates contains oysters. I have never eaten any and so help me God if I am ever going to put one in my mouth again. They feel so slimy in my mouth and are slippery and they taste like you would lick on a mossy rock. But I am not the only one who pushes her plate away. He didn't even touch them and he was right to do so. Why is all this exquisite food so damn tasteless? Or am I the broken one and I am not able to appreciate this supposedly wonderful food? Maybe so many years of eating junk food is messing with your tongue.

Then, the waiter brings us some caviar. I play for some time with my food and finally take a bite, then pull a face in disgust. I give up. Where can I order a cheeseburger and some fries, please?

'You don't like the food here?' he finally says something. Wow, good job Rose! You resisted long enough! But hell, I began to think that we were playing into a mute movie by now. And no, I fucking hate it. What on earth was in my head when I made this appointment? Couldn't I make him go to a Subway or else?

'Oh, no. It's just that I am not that hungry.'

In fact, I am starving because this man over here interrupted my movie night with Lissa. I really miss all our snacks. I bet that by now she has already feasted on my gummy bears while watching Gilmore Girls without me. Now I have to catch up on my own. I hate watching TV shows alone. I need someone around to laugh at my jokes.

Next, the waiter brings us some foie gras. I have always heard people talk about it and they were all saying that it is wonderful. So I have to try it now that I have the chance, right? I take a bite and I struggle to stop my gag reflex. I swallow it without even chewing it and I almost choke. Belikov doesn't say anything this time, just watches me struggle to breathe normally again. I have to drink some more wine to get rid of that sensation in my neck. Why do people even eat these things? I am a simple girl with simple needs: I see junk food, I eat it. Simple as that. I don't need all this exquisite food. And right now, I would kill for some pizza. Would I get some tomato sauce too if I kill him?

The only thing I really enjoy is the last plate brought. It is a nice assortment of desserts and they are wonderful. That, and the wine. These are the only things making my dinner quite bearable. We have just finished our second bottle and I am feeling a little lightheaded.

I cleared my plate really fast, this being the only real food I had in hours. And after this, my eyes just keep on slipping towards his still full plate. He just ate a piece or two before setting it aside. How can he ignore all that goodness laying around?

His eyes meet mine. 'If you want some more, you can take.' ups, I got busted.

I shake my head. 'No, I shouldn't.' I don't want to devour his plate too, even though I would surely like to. I usually impress guys with the big amounts of food that I eat on the second date. Not that this would be anything near a date, but still.

'Why not? I am not going to eat them anyway. That's not the kind of dessert that I am into.' he says and looks at me into that provoking way, just like this morning, making my blood flow once more. Oh my God, now he starts to drop hints? Not good.

'Okay, I'll just take one.' I pretend that I didn't get what he was implying and turn the conversation into the direction of the sweets again, getting to a safe ground, so that I wouldn't have to hear any more subtle pick-up lines or whatever these are.

I bit into a little eclair and I was munching when I saw that he is watching me with a little smile on his face.

'Did something happen?' I ask after I swallow. Do I look funny or something?

He doesn't respond, he just raises his hand and brings it slowly to my face, placing his palm on my cheek, tracing a little line with his thumb on the corner of my lips and goes further, brushes my bottom lip, getting to the middle of it and parting my lips. I simply freeze. God that felt so good. I can feel the skin on my cheek prickle under his touch. And with his thumb walking on my lip, I couldn't stop thinking about taking it into my mouth and bite it, and not in a hurtful way. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_ I haven't had these kinds of thoughts around men before.

It seems that I had some chocolate there. He brings his hand back, placing his thumb into his mouth and licks the chocolate, moving his lips extremely slow. The whole time he does that, he is looking at me. I gulp, suddenly feeling very thirsty. Damn this man. Why does he have to be this fucking hot all the fucking time? I break eye contact and glue my eyes to the plate in front of me, hoping that my cheeks aren't too red.

'Yes, Sir?' the waiter is again here.

'We would like the check. Miss Hathaway here is going to pay.' at that, my face just drops.

I am going to _what_? I look at him bewildered, but he doesn't move a muscle. What am I going to pay the bill with? I barely have enough money with me to take a cab back home.

The waiter complies and returns with a little leather book and places it in front of me. 'Cash or card?' he asks.

I open it and read the total three times, convincing myself that there is no comma in between the numbers, even though it should. 3680$. What!? How? I feel sick. Would they let me wash the dishes in return? Hell, I might wash them for a whole year in order to pay for this fucking dinner. The total is less than double my salary. What have we eaten here, gold? The food might have tasted good at least, but it was just crap. Rich people and their fancy foods. Then I read the prices. No wonder that thing we drank was that old. Only one bottle of wine costs 1500$. What does it contain, the blood of Jesus?

Oh, now I get it. He ordered this wine on purpose. And the bastard didn't stop at one bottle.

'Miss, cash or card?' the waiter asks again. I raise my head and just look at him, blinking rapidly, not being able to speak.

'Leave us a second.' Belikov says and the boy leaves.

I simply look at him, my eyes squinted. He is barely holding himself from smiling. Yeah, that's really funny, you bastard.

'I don't have the money to pay for this.' I mumble.

'I could pay.' he says. Oh, you could, don't you? 'But there is something I want in return.'

My blood turns cold; my facial expression is now harsh. This motherfucker! What? He wants me to fuck him or something? Well, I'd sell one of my kidneys or I'll wash the dishes for the rest of my life in this damned restaurant before I will let him lay one of his fucking hands on me. I start to bite the inside of my cheek so hard that I feel the coppery taste of blood.

'No.' I say.

'No?'

Are you deaf? 'No.'

'But you don't even know what I want in return.'

'I have a wild guess.' I say disgusted and squinting my eyes at him some more. I have never felt so diminished in my entire life. What is he thinking? That I am that kind of girl that will fuck everyone who takes her- I am _not_ going to let him treat me like this.

I push my chair backward and just as I am about to rise, he speaks. 'I just want you to stop.'

'Stop what?' I say crossing my arms.

'All these little things you do. The Starbucks coffee, your glittery notebook, the necklace, this dinner. You have to stop doing things like this.'

Do I really have any other choice? I take a deep breath and exhale completely.

'Fine, I'll stop.'

No, in fact, I am not. I plan on doing something else on Monday. Just to get some revenge for today. I'll think about something later. Maybe it will involve something that will produce him some pain.

'Perfect.' he says and takes the check from me. 'Oh, and something else.' of course there has to be something else. And of course, he adds it after I have already agreed. I am so ready to slap him right now. I look at him with a fake smile.

'What?' I ask, my voice rising with an octave.

'Your clothes. Do something about them.'

'Why? What does _everybody_ have something with the way I dress at work?' to be honest, I don't like them either; they make me look neglectful with myself; I bought these too big office clothes just to mess with him, but this doesn't matter now; I am trying to prove something else here. 'I am doing my job just fine, right? Why does it matter how I dress?'

'You are doing your job just fine, Miss Hathaway. But I think that the clothes you wear are doing you no justice. For example, this dress you are wearing now does.' he says as he looks at my body, and it feels like there are flames into his eyes, as my skin gets warmer just by him looking at me that way. God, why does he have this effect on me? He shouldn't.

'Fine. I'll wear something else.' I eye him hateful again.

After he pays we head for the exit doors. All I want is to get away from this man as soon as possible. I simply can't suffer him in this moment. But he keeps on being a gentleman till the end. And this thing only makes me more angrier. He lets me walk in front of him, he holds my door and as we get outside, when he sees me brushing my skin as the cold air is pricking my skin, he offers me his coat.


	13. Chapter 13

'No, thank you.' I say to his offer. I'd rather freeze to death before I take something from him. After all the shit he just did, I don't want anything of his near me.

He doesn't push things further. In exchange, he says: 'Let me take you to your car.' What, you want to try your luck with me into a darkened parking lot, Belikov?

'I didn't come here with my car. I am going to take a taxi back home. Have a good night, Mister Belikov.' I say and turn around to leave.

'Bring me my car.' I hear him say to the little guy in front of the restaurant.

Thank God he let me walk away so easily, with no other acts of courtesy. I can't keep myself together for longer around him now. I just feel so, I don't know, humiliated? Like, did he really have to do that thing with the check? Yeah, maybe I took it too far with the dinner thing, but so did he now.

But to my disappointment, I hear footsteps behind me. His footsteps more exactly. He followed me and now he catches me by my hand. It is so warm and soft. At his touch, I relax completely, forgetting why I was angry in the first place.

'It's late, Miss Hathaway. I'll take you home.'

I am about to nod, feeling eager at the thought of being close to him into a car, as you know, legs may touch or who knows, even hands, but ah! I remember that I am angry with him.

'No, there is no need for you to do that. You _troubled_ yourself enough tonight. I'll manage things on my own. Now if you'll excuse me.' But he doesn't let go of me. 'I would like my hand back.' I say as I try to get out of his grip. He is not holding me tight, but I can't seem to escape it.

'You won't find a taxi here, especially at this hour. Nobody really leaves this place into one.' Well, he is right, because I can't see one nearby. And all these rich people inside have all those damn cars with chauffeurs at their disposal to take them home. Ugh.

'Then I'll walk.' I say and wiggle my hand some more and he lets go of me.

Finally, I got rid of him. For real this time. I walk a block on foot, and he doesn't follow. I can already feel my skin turning to ice as I get further on my way home. Why was I stupid enough not to get a coat? This is going to be a hell of a walk home. And I have to get to the other side of town. Just my luck. I hope that I'll find a taxi somewhere near so that I won't have to walk all the way home.

But as I walk, there is a car that pulls over and its window descends. It is him. And his car, oh, good God. He is driving a dark blue Rolls Royce Phantom. I have read about this car into a magazine some time ago and I instantly fell in love with it. But seeing it before my eyes, well this is another thing. I could spend the rest of the night just admiring it. I have often dreamt about driving one too. It is simply amazing.

'Miss Hathaway, get in. I will take you home.'

'No thanks.' I say and continue my road, picking up the pace. Maybe if I do that, he will let me be. Is it so hard for him to understand that I don't want to be near him and that he should stop insisting? It seems so, because he starts the car and stops it in front of me just as I was beginning to cross the street, almost walking over my foot. I take a step back and look at him surprised. What the fuck is he trying to do? Does he want to kill me now? This man surely doesn't know how to accept a no for an answer.

 _'Rose_ , get in the car _now_.'

It is the first time he calls me like that. And my name sounds so beautiful in his Russian accent. The way the R's are rolling out of his tongue, man. I could listen to him saying it for days and I wouldn't get bored.

'But you drank wine.' I say as a last resort. It's not like I can see any effects on him, but yeah, I won't get into the car with him in these conditions.

'Fine. I'll just call some of my men to come and take you home.' he says as he opens the door and plans to exit.

I take a moment to consider things. Well, this way I will get home faster, and I surely won't turn into a walking snowflake in the process. And like this, I won't slap him or punch him somewhere down on his body and be the reason he makes some accident tonight.

'And I'll wait here with you.' he adds.

 _Fine_ , I guess I can abstain myself from tearing his eyes out for some minutes. Going with him or sitting here with him waiting for someone to take me home wouldn't be much different. I just want for all of this to be done. So I give in.

'Oh, _God_. You just can't give up, don't you?'

I get to the other side of the car and open the passenger door. A wave of heat blows in my direction and warms my body a little. I kind of throw myself on the warm black leather of the seat and good God, this car is as awesome as I read. Even better. Plus, it smells like musk. I slam the door hard to make a point and proceed to put on the seat belt angrily. But I can't seem to make this right. I can't lock it. I try for three times before I feel his hand on mine and I realize that he is now leaning over me.

'Let me,' he says. 'This one is always causing troubles.'

The air suddenly thickens, and I begin to breathe heavily. His scent is intoxicating me again. And he is so close to me! I can feel his warm breath on my hand, and a strand of his hair is tickling my upper arm. _Remember Rose, you should stay away from him._ And instead of leaning forward, I glue myself to the seat as best as I can, so that we won't touch. Not that much at least.

He locks my seat belt and returns to his place.

'Where are we going?'

I respond mumbling, and he ignites the engine. I gave him a wrong address, one close to my real one so I wouldn't have to walk that much. I don't want for him to know where I live. What if he decides to pay me a midnight visit one day? No thanks.

We don't talk again. At some point, he presses a button and the music starts. It is a weird song in Russian. But it is not that bad. It is that kind of song you can dance into a club if it is loud enough. Somewhere along the way, I even start to keep the rhythm on my thigh with my fingers.

'Does the music bother you?' oh, you give a shit about my comfort now?

'No, it's fine.'

I enjoy the song as he drives through the darkened streets. I haven't noticed before, but it is already 11:30. We have spent three hours into that restaurant. That's a lot, considering that we didn't do much except to keep our mouths shut and sometimes stare at each other. Oh, and the other things involving me wanting to throw myself at him.

'So, how do you like this town?' he asks all of a sudden.

'Oh, so now we're _chatty_?' my attitude takes over. And he just smiles a little.

'Why not?' but I don't respond. I don't want to talk with him, period. ' _So_ , how do you like it here?' he pushes things.

'What do you mean by that?'

'Haven't you moved here recently?'

'Um, yeah, I did. But how do you even know that?'

'I know everything about my employees.' Yeah, sure, everything.

'Really? Then, when's my birthday?'

'The 21st of March.' Oh, so he's not kidding.

'What sports do I practice?'

'None. But you enjoy running.' Damn, does he have a detective team following his employees around?

'My favorite color?'

He smiles again. 'My knowledges don't go that far Rose. But, ' I already put my disgusted face on. If he is trying to hit on me again, I don't want to hear it. 'if you wan-'

' _No_.' I respond way too abruptly and too harsh and he looks at me some kind of surprised. After this thing, silence falls and I scratch my brain for something to say, trying to make whatever happened earlier to disappear fast. Maybe I shouldn't have reacted _that_ wild. As I am thinking, I realize something too. 'Wait a second. This means that you know where I live.'

'Yes, I do.' So he already knew I was lying to him. Yay!

'Then why did you even bothered to ask?'

'Out of courtesy.' At this, I roll my eyes.

Thank God that the streets are empty and we got there fast, so I wouldn't have to bathe in my own embarrassment. He pulls over in front of my real building. Fortunately, I can unbuckle the seat belt on my own this time.

'So, this is the place you really live in or you lied in your application too?' well, he doesn't waste any occasion to remind me of that, doesn't he?

'No, I didn't. Here's the place.' I say as I open the door. 'Thank you for the ride, Sir.'

'You are welcome. And you don't have to call me Sir, we are not at work. You can call me Dimitri.'

'Yeah, okay. Um, see you tomorrow, Si-' he frowns 'Um, Dimitri.' oh, I like pronouncing his name. I never said it out loud. I usually call him Belikov. Or bastard. Or fucker. Oh, or motherfucker. Yeah, I know, not so creative. But his name does sound so good.

He nods in response and I turn around and head towards the entrance. But the car doesn't leave. I turn my head and he is there, watching me. What? Is he still afraid I gave him the wrong address? After I enter the building he finally takes off.

 **DPOV begins**

On my way home, I keep on thinking about her. It's sometimes annoying how much time I spend in my head thinking of her. At first, this thing between us was nothing more than just a game for me. But in so little time, something changed. I don't know what is happening to me, but I just can't get her out of my mind, no matter what I do.

Now, images of her keep spinning in my head. The way she walks, the way her hair kept on moving left and right as she was making her way towards my table, how heavenly she smelled when I got close to her, the way her lips move when she speaks, the way her lips feel at touch, and I seriously consider going back to her place and knock at her door, just to see her some more. But I think that this is not such a good idea.

Along the dinner, I just couldn't help myself not to let her boil, even though, at the same time, I wanted to talk with her; I wanted _her_ to say something. But she was so not ready to give in. I know she wasn't speaking because I wasn't. And her being so pissed off about that made her look even sexier than usual and that damned dress she was wearing didn't do me any good either. All I could think of for the most part of our dinner was to rip that dress off her body and make her scream, right there, in the middle of the restaurant.

But God, she is so unwilling to respond to anything I do! I don't know what she thinks about me, but she surely has no good opinion, and I don't think it will change any time soon. It was a miracle that she even got into the car with me later. I didn't expect anything to happen in the car. But that seatbelt doesn't cause trouble. Ever. She was just so angry that she couldn't get it right. And I just couldn't let the opportunity of getting close to her pass, couldn't I? It's hard for me not to want to touch her. But she just pushed herself into the seat, trying to get as far away from me as possible. She doesn't _want_ me to be near her. And she is making it so obvious, even with the way she is speaking with me or looking at me, like I would want to do these bad things to her. But all I want to do is bad things _with_ her, there's a big difference. But hell, she doesn't want me. At all. And God, I so wish she would.

* * *

When I get home it's already past midnight. But as I enter my apartment, I hear the TV going, and there is someone on the sofa, watching it. Tasha. When she acknowledges my presence, she comes my way.

'What are you doing here?'

'Oh, wow. No greetings, baby?'

'Tasha?'

'Fine. I thought that if _you_ weren't going to come to me this night, then _I_ should. It took you some time to get home, you know? And' she stops and gets her fingers on my shirt, tracing little lines on my chest. 'I thought that I could thank you for the present you made me today.' I make a step back, breaking contact with her, just as she was heading down, towards my pants.

'No.'

'No?'

'No, Tasha. I fact, I want to talk with you about something.'

'What is the matter?'

'I think we should break up.'

'Oh, come on, Dimi. You don't really mean that. I get that you may be a little upset of me coming here without telling you, but you don't have to be so dramatic about it.'

'No. I mean it.' She throws me a squinted glare.

'Yeah, you do. What came to you all of a sudden?'

'Come on, Tasha. We are just prolonging the inevitable here. You know that between you and I th-'

'So, you are breaking up with me on my birthday?'

'Well, technically, it's not your birthday anymore.'

'Are you serious right now Dimitri? You know I don't like it when you are teasing me. It's not the first time you do this thing.'

'No, but this is the last time.'

In response, she grabs her purse and hears to the door. 'I don't know where you are trying to get to with this and I don't think I want to know. See you tomorrow, Dimitri, when you won't be in this joking mode.' And she gets out of the apartment.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

I can't fall asleep. I keep on switching my position over and over again, trying to find the perfect place on the bed, but all I can think of is him brushing his finger on my lip and these thoughts keep me awake.

At some point, my stomach starts to make some weird noises and I begin to think that those weird foods have affected my stomach. I knew I shouldn't have touched those oysters. Ugh. Rich people food. I get up and go to the kitchen to drink a glass of water in the hopes that it will remedy the situation.

And I won't go to sleep anytime soon, that's for sure. I am wide awake. And I keep on thinking about Dimitri. God, I want to bang my head on the closest wall. I know that he could only bring trouble in my life, he's _that_ kind of man, but I just can't help it. And I have no idea for how long I can resist him. But I surely need to.

To get my thoughts away from him I find myself something to do. I open the laptop and enter some online shops. I begin to pick some dresses, skirts, office pants and shirts that ''are doing me justice''. Oh, and some high heels seem such a good idea. They will lift my ass.

This fucker. All he wants, in fact, is to see some boobs and some ass dressed in tight, revealing clothes, walking around the office all day long. Well, he will see that if that is what he really wants. Every single day. I am going to throw him a fucking parade. Only for him. But I'll be damned if he'll ever touch any of them. And I am so ready to go to HR and write a sexual assault complaint if he ever comes near me, just to teach him a lesson.


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey again guys! I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow I have an exam and instead of studying for it I just said 'Fuck that shit' and wrote not only a chapter, but two today. These ideas just came to my mind and I just had to write them down and I couldn't wait until Monday to share them with you.**

 **And sorry to disappoint you Bitterblue Fairchild, but Rose is not going to find out that they have broken up. Not yet. Of course Dimitri is not going to tell her, but neither will Tasha because let's be honest, I love to depict her as delirious, and she will just think that Dimitri is going to come back to her.**

 **Anyway, I hope you'll enjoy what I wrote :)**

* * *

It is now Friday, and two weeks have passed since I started working for this pain in the ass. I can't believe this myself, but I kind of enjoy working here in fact. In spite of the majority's opinion, it's not that bad as I thought it would be initially. It seems that I am managing things quite well around here. Maybe I am _that_ good.

I'll stop doing little annoying things to him for the moment, because, as weird as that sounds, I am out of ideas. I might need to consult with someone about this, maybe even with Christian if I get desperate enough, because he usually has good ideas when it comes to pissing off people, especially me. Anyway, when the occasion will occur, I won't hesitate to make something to annoy him. It just makes my days better seeing him clenching his jaw and moving the bottom part left and right, trying to keep himself from snapping. I know I told him I would stop, but really, did he even expect me to? I know it's a dangerous game that I am playing here, but hell; I like a little risk in my life. It makes things more exciting.

But I have done so many other things so far, even though I told him I would stop, and he hasn't fired me yet for not keeping my word. For example, on Monday, I made him at home a very girly week schedule that looked as it has been made by a third grader. It was all pink and had different animal doodles on it. I put so much effort into making it look this silly, in the hopes that he will get annoyed and that he would put me make a more proper one or something else, anything he could find to get back to me. But did he say or do anything about that? No! And to my utter surprise, he kept it on his bureau for the entire week. And he even _smiled_ when I gave it to him. I wasn't trying to be funny; I wanted to piss him off. But all I managed to get was pissed off myself because my thing didn't go as I planned and every time I would lay my eyes on that schedule, I want to burn it because it only reminds me of my unsuccess.

This week too, I purposely stumbled and spilt his coffee (I let it cool so that I won't burn him; I am not that bad; even though he sometimes deserves a hot one spilled on his jewelries) on his shirt and pants and he didn't lash out at me. I also _accidentally_ ordered an extra spicy assortment of the same thing he usually eats. It looked the same, but it was hot as hell (trust me, I tasted it). He just told me to bring him some water as his eyes got red and watery, nothing more. No pissed off glances, no screaming, no nothing.

If he is trying to ignore me in the hopes I would finally stop, like you would do with little kids acting out, it might have worked after all. This or maybe he is waiting for the occasion to take me out to some restaurant again and to pay me back. Who knows what he's planning?

As well, I began my parade. Every single day I would wear some over the knee tight skirts or office pants that nicely emphasize my ass, assorted with well-fitted shirts that I would usually button up to the top, but on some days, just to diversify things and tease the shit out of him I would unbutton a button or two, but no more than that so that I wouldn't let anything tempting visible as I would bend over his desk. I can see that this thing is bothering him, although he is trying so hard not to let it out, but, to his own good, until now, he kept his hands to himself. With his eyes I have some problems with. They are always roaming on me and I can _feel_ that he is slowly undressing me in his head. But let him have fun in there because, in real life, he'll never get to see me naked.

And the fact that I am still here has to be some kind of miracle, right? Oh, or maybe he is still keeping me around until he can have his ways with me and after this, he will let that grandma girlfriend of his to fire my ass for sleeping with the boss. This might be the real reason. Well, he won't live to see that day. So let him wait until his hair turns grey.

* * *

Today I am trying something new and I have put on a black dress that ends just under my ass and has a V neck, but not too deep. This is the shortest dress I have worn so far at work. Or in my entire life in fact. But everything to please my boss, right? I can't wait for him to lay his eyes on me today.

As I head towards the elevator, someone calls my name. Is that woman from my first day. Sydney I think, from what I remember that was written on her little name tag. Yes, the one that ignored me for fifteen minutes straight. What does she want now, to ignore me some more maybe?

'Yes?' I say as I approach her desk.

'Hi! The other girls and I were wondering if you would like to join us for lunch break today. We have seen that you broke the Belikov record and it seems that you are going to be here for a while too. It is something around here, you know? Everybody is wondering how you pulled it through. And we would like to spend some time with you, you know, get to know each other. Tell us how you tamed the beast. Aren't you getting bored staying up there by your own all the time? What do you do on your breaks? Come downstairs with us. We usually gather into the small cafeteria and we drink some coffee and have a little chat or something. It's nothing too special, but we hang out together.'

Waaait a second.

'Do we have a _lunch break_?' I ask surprised.

She giggles. 'Of course we do. Don't be silly. It is usually from 10:30 to 11:00. You didn't know?'

Um, no, I didn't. Nobody didn't seem to bother to tell me. Not even my _nice_ boss. And the only lunch I saw every day didn't belong to me. I would usually eat some bites between running left and right around the building. So maybe him not telling me about this is his little payback, who knows? He surely knew I would eventually find out about this.

'I'd love to.' I respond smiling. Anyway, some human interaction won't kill me, and it would be nice to meet other people here too. 'But I'll come on Monday. Today I have something else to do on my lunch break.' I have to throw this lunch thing in Belikov's face. See? I was speaking of perfect occasions. This is one and I won't let it pass.

I get up to the last story and I do my thing until the clock hits 10:30. Then I get out and buy myself a bag of chips from one of the vending machines from downstairs. I get up again and begin to munch on my chips as I scroll through my phone.

At some point he calls me. I look at the clock on the wall. It's just 10:43. I am still on my lunch break so I don't have to respond. He calls my name one more time. Well, let him call for as long as he wants. He goes even further and calls the landline on my desk, but I just let it ring.

I grab another chips and as I bite into it, a piece falls in between my breasts. See, this is why I don't really like wearing revealing clothes! I put my phone aside and drag my dress down, revealing my bra, so that I can grab that damn crumb. I am with my hand in my cleavage when the office door opens and Dimitri speaks: 'Miss Hath-'. I raise my head and look his way. He stares at me bewildered, his eyes widened. Oh, this is the perfect opportunity to do something resembling what he did at the restaurant. Except he's not the one I am touching. But maybe he'll enjoy it. Too bad I didn't have a banana to eat. _That_ would have been nice.

'What are you doing?' he asks.

I reach my hand down slowly and finally find the piece of my chips, looking at him the whole time. And he's watching at me too, and I get the vibes that he would have liked to be the one getting that chips out. Well, too bad. I put it in my mouth and eat it.

'I am having _lunch_ , Sir.'

He clenches his jaw. 'But I called for you.'

'I heard.'

'And why didn't you _come_ , Miss Hathaway?'

'As I said, I am on my lunch break. I just found out this morning that I am _allowed_ to have one. It is my right, not? So I am taking one _right_ _now_.'

'Fine. When you finish your lunch break, come to my office.' he says, obviously pissed off. But as he heads towards the door, a smug smile appears on his face. Oh, he is planning his revenge, I am sure. Let's see what you got, Belikov.

'Sure, _Sir_.' I respond as I grab another chips and throw it in my mouth.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later I enter his office with a nice smile on my face.

'What do you need me to do, Mister Belikov?'

'I need the New Residence file.'

'But it is right here.' I respond as I point to the book case next to the entrance door. Can't he make ten steps and get it himself?

'I know. And I need it. Give it to me.' oh, now I understand. This is his payback. Weak, comrade, weak. Carrying a folder around won't kill me. I do this all day long, remember?

'Fine.' I say and head to the shelves.

I look for that folder. I spot it right on the highest shelve and that is not its usual spot. Oh, so that was it. He wants to see me struggle while reaching for it. Big deal. I'll just pull it out. But as I firstly reach for it, I feel that my dress is lifting up, and it is about to show him a nice view of my ass. Well, I didn't have such a good idea wearing this dress today, didn't I? But he did have a good idea with moving the folder so high. And I can _feel_ his stare on me as he waits for me to do something.

But you know what? He can fucking stare as much as he wants. He is not the first guy who has seen my ass. I have gone to the seaside, you know?

I lift myself on my tippy toes, raise one of my legs off the floor so that I can reach higher, place one hand on a shelve for balance, and extend my other hand. My dress lifts like hell. A little more stretching and I might end up halfway uncovered from the waist down. I do this thing fast and I grab that damn file, pulling it out. I haven't realized how heavy it might be, and because I don't get a good grip on it, it slips and lands on me, unbalancing me. The next thing I know is that I am spread on the floor, with that folder on me.

'Rose?!' Dimitri says and in a matter of seconds he is hovering above me, watching me right in my eyes, full of concern. His hands are beside my head, forming some kind of cover from the outer world and our outer thighs are gently brushing, the warmth of his body feeling so good on mine.

His eyes are so beautiful from this distance. I can see that they are not simply brown. They have some darker shadows in them that form some kind of spirals around his pupil. Everybody says that brown eyes are too ordinary. But this man's eyes are simply fascinating. They are slowly moving on my face, like he is studying me. I wonder what he is thinking about in this moment. Probably that I am some kind of a loser, as I got beaten by a fucking file.

'Are you alright?' his perfect lips move so close to me and I have to resist the urge to kiss them.

I blink two times. What happened again? I nod. His hand gets under my head, lifting it a little and moves it up and down. God, please don't you ever stop.

'Does your head hurt?' he speaks once more and I am again enchanted by the movement of his lips.

This time I shake my head and I can't help myself. I begin to laugh. In my opinion, this situation is hilarious. I have just fallen, maybe I have hit my head on the floor too, and all I can think about is how much I would like to kiss him in this moment. Him, of all people. _What the hell is wrong with me?_

He takes the folder off me and helps me up. Still laughing, I drag my dress down, covering myself.

'What's that funny, Miss Hathaway?' he seems some kind of bothered by my reaction. It seems that I kind of spoiled this moment we were having here and he surely doesn't appreciate it. But hell, I couldn't help myself.

'I don't know.' I respond, not being able to stop myself from laughing. And it's not like I'll ever tell him that I want to jump on him in this very moment. 'I really don't know. Excuse me, please.' I say as I head outside to cool myself down.


	15. Chapter 15

Two months have passed from my first day and I am still standing. It is something, you know? I can feel the respect coming from other people as I pass them on the hallways. They all know who I am and what I do around here. And it feels like I am some kind of knight that has tamed the beast, as Sydney would put it. But in fact, things aren't as bad as everybody thought. Is he annoying me every single day? Yes, of course. But am I sure to pay him back? Always. We have this weird balance that keeps us working. So, there is nothing that I can't handle.

I resisted long enough to take two paychecks. And, because my second check arrived so close after my birthday, to celebrate that, on a Sunday, I take Lissa and Christian out to a nice pub in town, my treat.

'Rose, you really deserve some bravery prize.' Christian says.

'Oh, what can I say? I just do my best.' I respond flattered.

'Yeah, you really are.' he says jokingly. 'At pissing him off. This is so stupid from you. I am truly amazed that he hasn't expelled you from this town yet. I wonder why he is putting up with you. You know, I guess that the only thing he has to do is to call someone and your whole life might be ruined.'

'Oh, come on. He's not that influential around here. Right?'

'Yeah, keep on believing that Hathaway.'

'Hey, he has all his men and things, but let's be honest. He can't go _that_ far. Even he has his limits. He won't _do_ that.'

'Why, because you showed him your _panties_?' Christian asks.

I turn my head and squint my eyes in Lissa's direction. 'Oh my God, Lissa! You told him _that_?'

She makes herself little. 'Yeah, I kind of got carried away and spilled the tea.'

'You are _unbelievable_. You are a little _traitor_ , that's what you are.' I say and begin to poke her. I do this because I know it annoys the shit out of her.

'Oh, come on. Don't be so shy.' he says, trying to cover his lover, and round his arm around her, pulling her closer to him.

'Oh, fuck off, Ozera.' I imitate his tone.

* * *

We spent the rest of the time out drinking, laughing about every stupid thing I did to piss Dimitri off, because Christian was a little behind with my actions and playing never have I ever with shots.

We got home around midnight, and we were all a little lightheaded. Well, I was a little drunk in fact, because it seems that the two lovers complotted against me just for fun. And let's be honest, there were a lot of things they could have made me drink a shot for. I did a lot of stupid things throughout my existence. Especially to my boss. Thank God that not _with_ him.

We went to sleep around two maybe, after we played some Monopoly. It is so hard to take care of how you are spending your money when you are drunk. You just want to buy everything. I lost all my money first, at about half an hour after the game began. Me, the one who studied Economics. Wow, the thing booze can do to your brain. After that, I spent the rest of the game watching the two love birds competing with each other and eating some popcorn.

* * *

'Rose.'

'Mmmm. Leave me alone. Five more minutes please.'

'Rose!' says Lissa poking me.

'What? Let me sleep. And bring me a pill. My head is ready to explode. I had too many shots last night. And this is all _your_ fault.'

'Rose, it is 5:30.'

'What?' I jump out of the bed, the sleep disappearing at the sound of that late hour. Oh, fuck! I fell asleep and I forgot to set my alarm. I am so dead right now. Sooooo dead. That punishment thing comes into my mind and this makes me move even faster around the house. I so don't want to find out what he is going to do to me. Who knows what will happen if I come to enjoy it too?

In five minutes I am ready, I put my jacket on and I get out the door, with a stack of folders in my hands. I throw them on the passenger seat, buckle myself up and drive as fast as I can. Unfortunately, I arrive at 5:58 because the city is completely stacked today. It is already too late to do something. So why would I even bother? Even if I am only a minute late, I am going to get that disapproving look from Belikov no matter what. And anything his mind will pull off. So why would I bother?

To make things better, I hardly find a parking lot, and as I was parking my car, one song that I liked began on the radio. I decide to give up on trying to get upstairs on time, so I turn the volume up and lay my head on the seat. I close my eyes and listen to it. This is the last moment of my day today when I can enjoy myself. My last moment of peace. Because the rest of the day is going be a bitch with a grumpy Belikov walking around the office. He and his ''don't be late'' policy. Well, FYI, shit happens some days and people get late. And who knows, maybe I would get the chance to see his super nice girlfriend today as well. She hasn't been visiting him for quite some time now. In fact, if I think about it, I haven't seen her face ever since that night Dimitri and I had dinner. Who knows, maybe she found out about that and decided to punish him somehow. But anyway, today it would be the perfect day to visit your boyfriend at work. My headache could only get worse this way.

The song was about halfway when someone knocks on my window. Gosh, I couldn't even listen to a fucking song in my fucking car without being interrupted? Am I asking for too much? I open my eyes and turn my head to see who is the person daring to disturb me. And it is him. Oh, shit. The bad day began even earlier than I expected.

I exhale deeply and roll my eyes internally, turn off the radio and lower my window. 'Good morning, Sir.' I say, trying to turn my mouth into a small smile.

'Good morning Miss Hathaway. Do you know what time is it?'

No, I am so fucking stupid that I can't read four numbers on a damn phone.

Hm, but I could do something.

'Yes. It is exactly' I look at my phone '5:45.'

He looks at me and doesn't say anything to argue with what I said, his face keeping its expression unchanged, even though I can see his eyes getting that shiny thing they get every time he thinks about something to do to pay me back. But to my surprise, he doesn't come out with anything.

'Fine. I'll wait for my coffee.' he says and leaves. Wow, so, no ''don't be late'' speeches? This is new. I thought that he was just waiting for the occasion to mess with me. Why isn't he taking advantage of this? There is something fishy about this.

But wait, this means that I still have time to repair the situation. After all this time, he finally gave me a fucking break. I might be lucky today!

I get out of the car, take all my files and run inside. To my continuous luck, I catch the elevator as its doors are closing, and I enter fast. But I am not alone. He is already in there. Of course he is. I give him a smile and wait to ascend.

In order to save some time, I put all my files on the floor and proceed to unzip my jacket. But the zipper gets stuck in my shirt. Just perfect. I was struggling to pull it down but that bastard was not cooperating at all.

'Oh, motherfu-' I begin to say, but I realize that I am not alone and stop myself in due time. Otherwise, I would have gotten the ''watch your language Miss Hathaway'' speech one more time in the last couple of days.

He exhales and says: 'May I?'

'Yeah, sure.' Go ahead, have fun.

I turn and let him handle my shit. He grabs the little key and pulls it down hard. He succeeds to unzip my coat. But at the same time he managed to rip my shirt in the process. Now, the left half of my chest is visible, revealing my pink flowery bra and some part of my chest. And he is staring with a hungry glare.

'Seeing something you like, _comrade_?' I distract him before he decides to get touchy.

He snaps out of it, shakes his head and takes back his place, facing the doors, looking down.

I pull my coat, covering myself. What do I do now? Walk around showing off my bra all day? Why did I even let him do that? And couldn't he just pull a little gentler?

The elevator stops, I grab the files from the floor and get out fast as the tension in that little room is kind of too much to resist to.

I decide to keep my jacket on for the rest of the day. I will die from the heat, but I have no other choice. From now on, I am going to have some spare clothes in my office. What if he is going to rip another shirt of mine? I have to be prepared.

I make his coffee and bring it to him, along with all those files.

'Thank you, Miss Hathaway.' I nod and head to the door. 'Are you going to stay like that all day?'

'I guess I will. I have no other clothes.'

He bends down and gets something from one of his bureau drawers. It is a white shirt. Well, at least someone thinks about everything around here.

'You can wear this. It might be big, but at least you won't have to wear your jacket all day.'

'I, um, thank you.'

I get to the bathroom and change myself. His shirt is amazing. It has a nice diamond pattern on the front, and the back is simple. The material is so soft at touch and it faintly smells like him. It does look funny on me, but I roll its sleeves up and tuck it into my skirt, and like this, I look quite okay.

My brain suddenly makes me think about how would I look dressed only into his shirt the morning after we would have spent the night together, as I would make my way to his kitchen, where I would find him making me breakfast. I shake my head as I look at my reflection into the mirror. _No, really_ , w _hat the hell is happening with me?_

I get back to my office and do my thing. But as I take a look on my desk, I find there an expensive box of Belgian chocolates. Where did that come from? It surely wasn't here when I got here.

He usually gets things like these from a lot of people and maybe this is something for him and the delivery boy around the building left it on my desk to deliver it. I get in his office and tell him about the box. First, as he sees me changed into his shirt he gives me a smile and then says this:

'No, Miss Hathaway. That's for you.'

'For me? What did I do for them?' I have been nothing but a constant annoyance.

'Wasn't your birthday on Saturday? I got you something.' wow, he remembered that?

'Oh, thank you, Sir. That's very thoughtful of you.'

I get out of his office, already ripping the wrapper of the box.

If he keeps on doing things like these I may come to the conclusion that maybe, he's not the son of a bitch I thought he is. _Maybe_. But I know too well that he has an agenda when it comes to me.

But maybe today won't be that bad after all. He gave me a break earlier _and_ he is being nice to me? And he even smiled. A genuine smile, people, not only his half lip turns! I guess I stumbled onto an elf on my way to work today.

Oh, and the best part of this day was seeing Tasha. It seems that I somehow invoked her by thinking at her earlier and she really showed up today. Her face dropped when she saw what I was wearing. She didn't say anything to me, but, from what I could pick up, Dimitri got a big lecture about it. Of course, he invoked the old phrases with: ''A thing just happened and I borrowed her my shirt.'' And ''That is none of your business anymore Tasha.'' But let's be honest there boy. She _is_ your girlfriend and it _is_ somehow her business, no?

I don't get to hear the rest of their conversation because I had to urgently go downstairs to deliver a file and when I was back Tasha was already making her way out, with a flushed face that she makes every time things don't go her way and when she sees me she throws me an ugly glare. I was just entering my office and she came my way fast and we were both into the doorway when she decided to speak. Her voice was cold as ice and harsh: 'I know what you are doing and I tell you it won't work. Back off or I will _end_ you.' is all she says and gets past me, pushing me out of her way with her elbow.

Hell, it seems that the two of them had a little fight because of me and I don't know how to feel about that. I really don't like the situation in here. I don't want for Dimitri to give her other reasons not to like me. She would already kill me in my sleep if she could.

* * *

 **And guys, please don't think that I am stalling with my story but I just wanted to make all these things happen between them, things that would make them fall for eachother even more, just because I think that some time must pass in order to get some feelings for someone, to get past that first physical attraction.**

 **But hold tight because I already have planned the next chapters and chapter 19 will contain a lemoooon!**

 **See you on Monday! :)**


	16. Chapter 16

'You know what I was thinking about, Liss?'

'What?'

'That I should redecorate my office.'

'Why?'

'Um, because it is so flat? The only things there are a desk, an uncomfortable chair and a bookcase full of files. I got bored of that. Just look at that for about two and a half months and see for yourself.'

'Fine. Anyway, it seems that by some miracle, you won't get fired any time sooner. But are you allowed to change that room? Don't you need some kind of permission or something?'

'Nah. He told me that I can do anything I want with it on my first day.'

We watch the movie in silence for a while.

'Hey, Liss.'

'What?'

'Wanna go shopping tomorrow?'

'Do you even have to ask?'

* * *

The next day we went to spend our money on cute useless things. Like, let's be honest. We wouldn't be girls if we wouldn't spend our hard earned money on things we don't need, right? And the more money we have, the more things we don't need we want. That's how the all of us women function. I don't get why guys say we are so hard to get, really now.

We lost almost half a day walking from store to store, looking for the perfect things to make me feel more like home into that little office because it seems that I am spending more and more time around there, as Dimitri would work late very often these days. He has an important project for some big future investor to finish, and he seems more stressed than ever, and by default, I get stressed too. It's like his moods transfer to me lately.

Oh, and everything he needed to hear from me one day was that I didn't mind staying late. Well, I actually told him that I didn't mind staying late _that day only,_ but he didn't get my message clear enough, and now I am getting home around ten or eleven every day. But at least I am getting paid more for my after hours, which is nice.

And what surprises me most is that in these late hours we spend alone in that darkened office, when the temptation reaches higher limits than usual, he hasn't tried anything to make me get into his bed. He is just acting okay with me, unlike he did the first days I met him, and I am beginning to think that we are slowly but surely getting to become friends, not just an annoying boss and his pain in the ass secretary. And this feels good.

* * *

It is now Monday again and Dimitri has a business dinner at seven, so this means no staying late for me today. And this is the perfect occasion to get Lissa to help me change things around my office, as she has a day off. At six thirty he leaves and I immediately call her. Half an hour later, I am outside and help her carry upstairs all my new stuff. I am so excited!

The object I love most is my new chair. It is a light green office chair that is soooo comfortable. I would at least get rid of my back pain from spending so much time sitting.

We spent about two hours deciding which is the perfect spot for everything. We put a cork board with some cute animal pushpins on the wall behind my desk, hanged a cute boat painting on the wall in front, along with a calendar with some cute kittens. On my desk, we installed a lamp that has a special light bulb that would light up in different colors. I so love that lamp. And it is useful too. I wouldn't have to keep the lights open at night anymore. Also, I bought a cute photo frame and put inside a photo of me and Lissa from the trip to Manhattan we took back in high school. It would always remind me of the plans to get away from our forgotten town we made that day and how far we really got since that moment. I am so proud of us.

Lastly, we put a big fern on the left side of the door that takes you to Dimitri's office. After we finished, the office looked more like me. And to complete everything, Lissa bought me a little gift. She got me a coffee mug that has a unicorn on it and an inscription that says: 'I'm a freaking unicorn!'. That cup would always remind me of the glittery notebook I bought just to piss Belikov off. Ah, such good days. Too bad that I couldn't find another one just like that, because I like how his office looks with all that pink glitter.

I couldn't leave this place, not before showing Lissa the amazing view from Dimitri's office. So we made ourselves a cup of tea and entered his office.

'Are you sure we are allowed here?'

'Don't worry. He has an important dinner right now. And he usually doesn't come back. So we are completely safe, Liss.'

'Okay, if you say so.'

We get in and take a seat on his bureau, enjoying the view. It is simply amazing. You can see the city's lights and all of the moving cars from this height. Plus, the sky is so beautiful. It is clear, with no clouds to cover the moon, and the stars are so shiny. It is so romantic. We sit there for a while, just talking and enjoying the view. I never had the occasion to really admire the view before. I would always just get in and get out or I was too busy to waste the time looking out the window.

 **DPOV begins**

After my stressful, unpleasant dinner, I call Tasha and tell her to meet me back at the office. I don't feel like taking her to my place, so the office is going to work just fine. I need to find a release from this all sexual tension that has been building inside me for the last two months. I can't take it anymore to see Rose walking around into those clothes. By telling her to do something about her clothes that day, I surely brought this to myself. And God, the things I would do to her. She looks simply amazing, even though she is not showing that much, as she would always button way too many buttons on her shirt, and since that day when she wore that way too short dress at work, she resumed to only wearing over the knee skirts or pants. Not that I would complain about those because when she turns to get out of my office, well, I can only say that it's hard for me not to call her back and get her on my desk.

And the fact that I am not allowed to touch all of that is killing me. She has made this thing very, _very_ clear even from her first days. She is the first woman that ever resisted me. She doesn't respond to anything I do. Every time I try something she just pulls this face and creates distance between us and I can't push things any further. I am not that kind of man, I have boundaries. If she is not interested, I can't do anything about it. This thing never happened to me before and it is annoying the hell out of me. I want her to want me as much as I want her. Or even just a half.

I get to the office and Tasha is already here, into the hallway, waiting for me impatiently. I look at her and for a second I ask myself if I am doing the right thing. But I just can't get rid of all this tension in me. I tried everything from punching a bag until I couldn't feel my hands anymore to exhausting my body running and so many other things, but trust me, nothing worked so far. This is the best solution I could come up with. It may be wrong, but I need it so bad. So, taking morality out of context, I decide to go further. At least she wants me. Even though, I don't know, there is nothing that attracts me to her anymore. No other woman awakens my interest, not since I met Rose. All I can think of is her and every woman I see is instantly compared in my brain with her. And they all seem dull in comparison.

It was such a surprise for Tasha that I wanted to meet her here for this reason in particular, after so many failed attempts before we broke up and after our little talk in my office from two weeks ago. For me too, to be completely honest. I am totally aware that I told her I want us to break up and it has been like that for the past almost two months. I have kept her away from me no matter how much she insisted on us not being in fact broken up, and I still want to keep on to that, but this lust is burning inside me and I need to break free from it before I do something I might regret later.

I don't waste much time. I don't let her say anything; I just take her hand and get into Rose's office. The space looks different to me. It seems that she changed things around here. Maybe she finally decided to settle. I really wouldn't mind this. And I can still feel her perfume lingering around the room. I shake her image out of my head and give my attention to the woman in front of me. I take off her dress fast and throw it somewhere into the room. She's not even half like Rose, I get the confirmation, but I have to manage with what I have. I pick her up and begin to kiss and suck on her neck, to arouse her even more, my hands travelling up and down on her way too bony body. We get to the desk and I put Tasha on it as I continue my movements on her body.

 **DPOV ends**

It was about eleven when we heard some noise coming from the other side of the door.

Lissa's eyes widen. 'Oh, _shit_!'

'Stay calm; it is probably just Fred, the janitor. He usually comes here around this hour. He is the one reminding us that we remained here for too long again.'

But unfortunately, it isn't him. Because someone begins to speak. Or moan, put it as you want. It's a woman.

'Mmmm, Dimitri.'

'Oh, _fuck_ _me_.' I whisper. So Tasha was his important business dinner tonight, right? After their little fight two weeks ago, he had to find a way to make it up to her, right? It surprises me that he didn't do this earlier. I mean, two weeks of being upset on each other is kind of a lot, but what do I know about their weird relationship anyway? But maybe her being out of town for the past two weeks didn't help their cause either. Maybe this is some kind of welcome back sex too. I always heard it gets better when you are away from a person for some time. But what do I really know, right? It's their thing after all.

'Who's that?'

'It's fucking _Tasha_.' I say completely disgusted. But why am I so upset about it?

'Really?' she says in a high pitched voice.

'Shhhh! Don't speak so loud. They might hear us.'

'Sorry.'

'Hey, maybe they will stay there.'

'Oh, take me already!' Tasha says in a horny tone.

'What are they doing?' Lissa ask.

'What do you _think_ , smartass? Have you heard of sex lately? I thought that you and Chri-'

I hear some object falling and then Tasha speaks again.

'What the hell is this? Who put this lamp here?' oh, what now? Are they going to fuck on my desk? I thought that they were going to use the wall or something. Yuck. I am going to pour two liters of disinfectant on it tomorrow morning.

'I don't know.' is Dimitri's response.

We were now very quiet, trying not to move, in order not to attract anyone's attention.

'Ugh, she _redecorated_? It's so ugly. It's like we are in a kid's room. I don't like it. You should tell her to change things to how they were before.'

'Oh, I am so going to punch her.' I tell Lissa and she gestures me to shut up.

'I think it's nice. This room has always been so bland. And it's her space. Let her decorate it how she wants.' a smile appears on my lips at his response. So he likes it.

'And who is this? Is she a lesbian?'

At that, both Lissa and I laugh.

'Did you hear that?' Dimitri asks.

Oh, damn. We are going to get busted if we don't keep quiet.

'No. Now let's resume what we were doing baby. But take me to your office. I'll fit on your desk better. You never took me there when we did it.'

Lissa and I look at each other. 'What should we do? Can we hide somewhere?'

'Nope, the only way out is that door. Or we can smash the window and jump. I am totally down for this. Or we can hide under the desk. But we will be just under the action.'

But as we were searching for a place to hide, the door opens and Dimitri enters, with Tasha attached to him, dressed in only her underwear. Seeing them, something resembling jealousy fills my heart. Why am I even being jealous to begin with? It's not like the man owes me something. She is his _girlfriend_ after all. And it's a good thing that he's busy with her. Like this, he won't make any moves on me and I can't be happier.

He stops when he sees us and puts Tasha down.

 **DPOV begins**

Seeing Rose in here simply comes as a slap to me. Her expression changes for a second as she lays her eyes on me, but she is restraining herself well, not letting her feelings slip. I can't decipher her. Is that disgust I see in her eyes? And if it would be, isn't she right? I mean, look at me and what I am doing now.

I don't know why, but I suddenly feel the urge to apologize for what I was going to do with Tasha. I take another look at the brunette as she is trying to cover herself and my whole mood turns to dust in a second, the fog covering my mind vanishing. What the hell was I about to do? I don't really _want_ her. In my mind, I was simply substituting Rose with her and it is so wrong for me to do so. It's wrong to use Tasha like this, to play with her feelings. I shouldn't have done this. And I need to clarify things with her later, this is sure. I turn my attention to the two women in front of me and I want to say something, anything, but I don't get the chance, because Rose begins to move.

 **DPOV ends**

The only thing I could think of was to grab Lissa's hand and to drag her out, along with me.

As we get closer to them, I look at him and say 'Sorry, Mister Belikov' and we get out.

As the door is closing, Lissa drops the bomb:

'You told me he was a snack, but I have to tell you, your boss is a whole ass meal, Rose.' and she didn't whisper. This girl has no idea what whispering is.

'Shhhh!' I respond as I turn my head to see if the door closed behind us. It wasn't fully closed and I could see Dimitri's side face with a little smile on his lips. Oh God, he surely heard that.

We get into the elevator and as soon as the doors close, we burst into laughter. We were literally crying when we got to the first floor.

'Do you think he heard me?'

'Oh, I don't think that, I know for sure.'

'Oh, shit. I am sorry.'

'Nah, don't be. I have said a lot more stupid things than that.'

And all the way home, we were still laughing from time to time.

And even though the thing that just happened before is funny as hell, I mean, I just ''caught'' my boss as he was going to get laid, and I wasn't really supposed to be in his office at that hour, I can't seem to shake this strong anger in me that appeared the second I saw Tasha attached to his body and it doesn't let go of me, hours after the incident. I am pissed off on myself too, for actually beginning to believe that he might actually be a nice guy. But what just happened in there proved me one more time that he is nothing more than a player and that every nice gesture he has done is nothing more than a stratagem to get me into his bed and that only means that I should just stay as far away from him as possible because he can't do me any good.

* * *

 **Please guys don't hate me for what I did with that scene with Dimitri and Tasha. It's just for the sake of the story. I hope you get what I am trying to do here :)**

 **And I hope you still enjoyed the chapter**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hi guys! I hope you are all having a great week!**

 **Here goes my update, hope you'll enjoy it :)**

 **And for real, I have spent so much time writing this thing, not because I didn't have ideas, those I have plenty (I have made some plan some days ago and I think that I could write at least 40 other chapters or even more, as all these ideas pop into my head all the time, so prepare yourselves to read some more), but I was just so tired that I couldn't write the words properly and I had to get over the text over and over again so I apoligize if there are any mistakes. Really guys, I need some sleep or I'll end up in a ditch or something.**

* * *

About a month passed from that incident in Dimitri's office and none of us brought it up, thank God. I thought that Tasha would come around and try to pick up on me and ask for some explanations on why I was in her boyfriend's office so late at night with my ''girlfriend'' (it's so funny that she thought I switched sides; but how can you do that when men like my boss exist, really?), so I was totally ready to fight back, but she didn't show up for the past month, nor even once, which is a miracle. It's weird because before, she would visit him at least three times a week. But maybe she is embarrassed about that thing too and tries to avoid me as much as possible for a while, or they decided it would be less weird for us not to be into the same building at the same time. And it's not like I am complaining. I like it better when she's not around because seeing her would only remind me of that image of her attached to Dimitri and as much as I would deny it, I get jealous on her every time I get reminded of that thing, even though I know I shouldn't.

As I am heading for the elevator, Sydney calls my name. What does she want now? She is kind of annoying sometimes, filling your head with interesting facts about everything you could think of (this woman is like an encyclopedia, I swear; I sometimes get annoyed by how smart she is.) but she is such a kind person in essence. And hell, she knows all the good gossips around here.

'Hey! What happened?'

'Don't forget to wish your boss happy birthday today.'

 _'Really_ , is it his birthday today?'

'Yup.'

'Oh, thanks for the heads up.'

In the elevator, as I wait to get upstairs, an idea pops into my head. He got me something on my birthday, and I could do something for him now. I decide to make this for him as things between us haven't been that bad lately either. His nice behavior is continuing, but we are still playing little games on the other when the occasion occurs. And I try to ignore the thing that happened one month ago because I have no reason to get mad on him for fucking his girlfriend, no? I mean, it would be irrational for me to act jealous over someone who doesn't belong to me. And if he keeps on this good behavior of his, maybe in a month or two, we would get to be _friends_ for real, who knows? But nothing more. I so don't want to get involved with him in anything because I don't feel like being girlfriend number who knows how much. But it would be nice not to push each other's buttons so often.

I get back down and ask the other girls if they have a candle, and to my luck, they do. I then get to the little kitchen to set up things and when I enter Dimitri's office, along with his usual coffee, I have one of the cupcakes Lissa made yesterday with a lit up candle on it, sitting on a little plate. This thing just fell into place perfectly.

I place both of them on his desk and he looks at me.

'Um, happy birthday, Mister Belikov.' I say turning my mouth into a nice smile.

He takes a look at the cupcake, smiles and thanks me. Wow. He really smiled. Like, a genuine smile. It's the second time I see this, and God, that smile made my knees go weak once more.

I am still there and he shakes his head questioningly.

'Well, aren't you going to blow your candle?'

He smiles again and leans over to put out the little wiggling flame of the candle. As he does that, a strand escapes from the grip of the hair tie and hangs over, spoiling the perfect symmetry of his features. I take a step forward and lift my hand with the intention of tucking it behind his ear. At my movement, he looks me into the eyes and then I stop. I smile weirdly and get out fast before I do what I was planning to do. I so need to stop wanting to do things like these _._

* * *

I spend the rest of the day delivering folders around the building. At six, my feet are practically yelling at me to take my high heels off. All I want is to get home and dip my feet into hot water. And a glass of wine would be nice too. It has been an annoying week and it's just Wednesday.

At seven, the superstar makes her entrance. Yay! Just when I was beginning to think that I got rid of her. She is wearing a very short tight dress, made from some translucent dark green material. The dress looks okay on her. If she would actually have something to fill it with, it would have looked a lot better on her. I think about that dress on me and I would surely look ten times better than her in it. But I don't really think I would ever afford it in the first place.

As usual, she is wearing like half a kilogram of makeup on her face. I wonder how she looks when she takes it off. Probably like a zombie.

As always, I do my job and greet her. And as usual, she doesn't bother with my existence as she is making her way towards Dimitri's office door. So be it. I don't really feel like quarreling with her. But before entering, she stops in front of my desk and places her hands on the edges, leaning over. I raise my head and look her in the eyes. She really has beautiful eyes. Blue, just like the sky. Too bad that the only thing she does with them is to give people harsh glares.

'May I help you somehow Ma'am?' I so love to call her like this. It only makes her hate me more, I can tell. But she started this shit when she began calling me a little girl.

'No. But I think I might help you.'

'With what?'

'Um, with some makeup lessons, _obviously_. I see that you brought up to date your wardrobe some time ago, but your face still looks bad.'

Man, what have I ever done to this bitch? Besides brutally killing her in my imagination every time I see her, of course.

'Um, thank you, but I think I'll pass. I don't want to learn how to look like _you_.' I am not going to take her shit for long. I so waited for a chance to bite back.

Her eyes widen and it takes her a second to respond. 'What did you just say?'

' _Exactly_ what you heard.' I respond smiling.

She leans even closer to me, hatred filling her face, and she speaks into a low voice, probably for her boyfriend not to hear the rancor in her voice. 'Listen to me, _little girl_. You have _no idea_ who you are messing with here. I can end you in a second. And I won't hesitate. I know what you are after and I can tell you that your little plan won't work. I won't let him go that easily.' Is she talking about Dimitri? God, isn't she paranoid right now? I don't know why she keeps on insisting with me having a plan. Does she think that I want to steal him from her? Well, I don't!

'First, stop calling me like that. I don't care if you have the age to be my aunt or something, I won't allow you to call me like that. For your knowledge, I have a name and I expect you to use it. And second, there is nothing you can do to me. I am completely clean. You have nothing on me. There is nothing that I do or did that someone can complain of.' Except for existing in your case you crazy woman. 'So you can't _touch_ me.'

She presses her lips together and I am way too eager to talk back to everything that she would tell me.

'You know, with some help, you could _at least_ look pretty. Considering your attitude, it would really help you. Without that, trust me, you don't have any chance with him.' she says lastly, before entering Dimitri's office. I don't get to say anything to her because she moves fast, probably being afraid that I might snap her neck. And at this moment I really would have done that. I wonder how much I can put up her words. I swear that one day I am going to slap her so hard that her whole make up will fly off her face like a mask.

After that, her bitch voice turns into her sweet talking, the one voice she uses only when she is with Dimitri. Seriously now, how could this woman be so fake? Is there something genuine about her? Maybe only her malice.

'Happy birthday! Are you ready to go?'

Pause. Probably Dimitri is speaking. I never seem to hear him.

'What do you mean where? At your birthday party, of course.'

Another pause.

'Oh, come on! What do you mean you don't feel like it? You stood me up on _my_ birthday. You are _not_ getting away today. Consider….making it up for that. Do you know…organize this party only for you?' she says something I can't hear. '…..be friends? Consider this party as my gift for you. So stop fooling around and let's go!'

Five minutes later, after she finally convinced him to go, they exit his office, Tasha practically dragging Dimitri after her. I almost laugh when I see his expression. You can see the evident excitement on his face. Well, what can you do? This woman is hard to get rid of.

As always, before leaving, he tells me goodnight and I respond back. Tasha doesn't bother, again.

* * *

Before heading for the elevator and then home, I call Lissa to let her know that today I got out way earlier than I expected.

'Hey, Liss!'

'Oh, Rose, hi! Did something happen?'

'No. I just called to ask you if you are ready for a movie night. This girl is free as a bird tonight. Tasha just took Belikov to his birthday party.'

'Um, well...I, um.' is there something wrong?

'Lissa? Just tell me what's going on.'

'I, I kind of invited Christian over. You know, I thought that since you were going to come home late, we could spend some time together. But it's okay. The more the merrier.' yeah, sure.

They are going to kiss all night long and I am going to have to watch them. So I guess I'll pass that. After seeing Dimitri leave with Tasha, I am not in the right place to watch people being in love right now. I can deal with one couple a day.

'Oh, it's no problem then, Liss. I anyway got invited to a drink by the girls here. So I'll just go with them instead.' I lie, not wanting to interrupt their special night. They don't get to be alone as much as they should lately.

'You sure?'

'Yeah, of course. You go show some love to your man.' I say laughing. 'If I get home around two or three are you two lovebirds going to be done?'

'Rose!'

'Hey! I am just making sure that when I get home I won't be seeing something destined to adult audiences if you know what I mean.'

'You are incredible, Rose.'

'Yeah, that's why you love me. See ya!'

'Bye.'

Well, what am I going to do now? Where should I go? I don't want to go somewhere on my own and I have no one to ask to go with me.

Oh, I know! I'll just stay here. There won't be anyone to disturb me.

I make myself a big cup of coffee and begin to scroll on the internet, trying to waste time.

You know what? I just realized that this man is my boss for pretty long, and I know nothing about him. I didn't even know that today was his birthday. Yeah, I know how he is drinking his coffee and that he is some kind of a womanizer, but nothing more besides that.

I put his name into the search engine and all I find are some articles about his business, but nothing about _him_. It seems that he is quite a private person. But I don't give up that easily. I get even deeper with my searches. You know how girls do that FBI thing when they only know like the first name of some boy they saw on bus one day a week ago and they want to show him to their best friends, and like after two hours of searching on the internet, they know his entire history? Well, I couldn't pull the same trick on my boss. I couldn't find a single thing about him. All the articles linked to him were about his utter success and I already knew that.

But before giving up, I stumble over an article in Russian. I click on the link and hit the translate button. It is an interview from his early years. I read it and I understand some things, but not really much. Like, really Google translate, you should step up your game because I need information.

I found out that he was born in a town named Baia, in Russia, into a modest family. He has three sisters and no father figure since he was thirteen. I found a picture of his family attached to that article. They are all strikingly resembling each other. They all have the same beautiful features Dimitri has. I read that he followed the courses of some prestigious Russian University and graduated first of his class. No doubt there. He is good at everything he does, I am sure of it. Then, at the age of 21, he started his business from scratch and the usual story of his success continues.

 **Meanwhile, at the club**

 **DPOV begins**

I am surprised that Tasha knows me so damn well. She has organized the ''perfect'' birthday party for me. Now, I kind of regret accepting to come here with her, but I couldn't find it in me to refuse her. After that stupid night at my office I talked with her and explained some things to her, trying to leave Rose out if the reasons I wanted us to break up, because that whole thing would have only ended up into a big scene and I don't want Rose to be dragged into this mess I have created. She doesn't even know all the things that happened. So I told Tasha that we should end things completely and for real this time and well, when she asked me, I agreed for us to try to remain friends, because I think that I owe her this much. Plus, this woman has an extraordinary ability to make you feel guilty for a lot of things.

I have been into this odious club for four hours now and I feel miserable. I hate this place and all the people she invited. Half of them, if not even more of them, barely know me. They know my name, but this doesn't mean anything. And the others, the ones I know, are just a bunch of freeloaders. This is such a nice group of people that Tasha got together. Just her type of people.

I don't feel like doing anything so I just sit and drown myself into the abundant alcohol. At least she bought the good stuff. I have lost count of how much I drank and the music blasting into my head is horrible and everybody around is dancing or completely ignoring me, thank God. I don't think I can have a conversation with any of them. I don't find a single thing I like here.

I spend most of the time looking around the club and at one point I see a woman dancing, resembling Rose. No, this can't be her; I surely drank too much. My mind is just messing with me. Speaking of her, I remember the cupcake she brought to me this morning. It was the only thing today that made me feel good. Seeing her smile as I was blowing out my candle was the perfect gift for me. I wonder how it would have been if I just got out with her to celebrate my birthday. Just as friends, nothing more, because she still doesn't seem to be interested. And hell, that is better than nothing, no? I like being around her. She is such a jolly person. I would choose her company any day in exchange for all these people around me now.

Some time later, a drunken woman comes my way and gets very close to me, almost laying herself wholly on top of me and proposes to me to do it into the bathroom. I turn her down categorically and she leaves into the search of a wishing man. This is it. This was the last drop tonight. I am done with this. I am going home.

After I rise, I think about announcing Tasha that I am leaving, but she is on the dancing floor dancing around with some man, being probably drunk. It's good to see her moving on. And I don't bother to go to her. She won't even notice that I am missing, that absorbed by her dance she is. And in fact, this is not really my party, it's hers. So I'll let her enjoy herself then.

I take a look at the table in front of me, which is full of bottles with alcohol. I take one bottle of vodka for later and get out of the loud club. As I open the door, I stumble over Rose. Well, it's not really her, but it's the same woman I saw dancing earlier. And I speak something with her as I get to my car, but I am not as coherent as I would like to be.

As I get out my car keys, I can't seem to find the keys to my apartment. I must have forgotten them at the office when Tasha came to drag me to this horrible place. Just perfect. Now I have to go there.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

 **So, what do you think guys?**

 **What will happen when Dimitri gets back to the office?**


	18. Chapter 18

**Hello! I am back with a new chap! Hope you'll enjoy the things happening between the two of them. :)**

* * *

I close the laptop, as my eyes are stinging and I couldn't find anything else about him. It is now about midnight. Only two or three hours until I'll head back home and get some sleep.

Without having anything to do, my mind keeps on bringing back the words Tasha threw at me earlier. Am I looking _that_ bad? I know I shouldn't let her get to me, but I can't help it. When someone keeps on saying something to you, you might get to start believing it.

I go to the bathroom and take a look in the mirror. I am not the most spectacular being; that I know. I don't try to be some kind of model or anything else. I know I can look better when I want to, but on most days I know I am somewhere at the border between pretty and hot, no matter how much shit she eats about my appearance, and I like it this way. With some aid, I sometimes get to the very hot border, but I never bother. Why would I? I prefer to spend my time sleeping in the mornings.

I get back to my office and grab the little purse where I keep my makeup for special cases and open it. I take out a mirror and put on some eye shadow and mascara, just to boost up my confidence. Lastly, I put on some dark red lipstick. Yeah, I look so fucking good. So, to hell with whatever Tasha thinks. She is just jealous. I bet she wishes she would look like me.

I plan to go and make myself another cup of coffee, but as I get up from my chair, the elevator doors suddenly open. I turn my head in that direction, and getting out of the elevator is Dimitri, leaning over one of the walls with his hand for some support. And he doesn't look like the usual.

'Um, Mister Belikov, are you alright?' I ask as I head his way.

He looks at me, kind of surprised to see me. Well, I am too. What is he doing here? Shouldn't he be at a badass party right now, celebrating his 30 years along with his beloved Tasha? Or did they decide to ditch the party and she is just behind him and they are going to have some birthday sex in here, on my desk? It seems that I keep on stumbling over them lately, spoiling their fun. I am just _that_ lucky.

'Dimitri. Call me Dimitri. And yeah. I am feeling _just_ perfect.' he says, his accent being very strong as he speaks. And you can feel the smell of vodka from a distance. Maybe because he is carrying an almost full bottle with him too.

He passes me and heads wiggling towards his office. What is happening right now? I take a look into the elevator but there is no one in it and it doesn't descend either. So this means he came here all by himself. But why? I follow him inside the office to make sure he doesn't break his neck. Not that he would really be on the verge of falling. He is keeping himself quite well on his feet, but I just want him to be safe.

He gets to his bureau and with some effort he plops himself on the floor, facing the giant window. I go in front of him.

'Mister Belikov, can I do something for you? Should I make you a coffee? Do you need a pill? Should I call a cab?'

'Dimitri.' he reminds me again, and instead of answering me, he opens a drawer next to him and gets out two whiskey glasses, places them on the floor, fills them up with the spirituous liquid and then hands me one of the glasses.

Patting the floor beside him he tells me: 'Sit with me, Rose. Let's have a drink.'

'Um, I don't think we shoul-'

'Please?' gosh, he sounds so what? Sad? Shouldn't he be happy right now? Fine, I'll have a drink with him and deal with the rest later. I am in no condition to refuse this man.

I sit next to him and prop my back on the desk too. He raises his glass and says ''Cheers''. I do the same and after we clink our glasses, I pour the beverage down my throat. All of it, just like him. All of a sudden, my whole being is burning and I get shivers down my spine. I have drunk vodka before, but this one is so strong. Maybe it is the Russian type.

He pours another glass. To hell with it. I take it. I kind of feel bad now, even though I wouldn't admit it out loud. And reasons I think I have plenty. So, some alcohol might make me feel better. As I drink some more, he finally speaks.

'I really love this view.'

'Yeah, it's beautiful.'

He extends his hand and points to something out the window. 'Do you see that bright point there?'

I chuckle. 'You need to be more specific with that. There are a lot of shiny spots out there right now.'

'Yeah, of course. Do you see those three green spots in the distance? Past the town line.'

'Those three that form a line?' I ask as I lift my hand up to get a better track of them.

'Yes, those. Now go up.'

'Which way?'

He gently places his hand on top of mine and guides it a little to the left and up. 'About that way. You should see a yellowish light that keeps on appearing.'

I squint my eyes and I actually see it. 'Oh! I got it!' I get really excited about a little pulsing light. 'What is that?'

'That's the Little Red Lighthouse. Have you ever been there?'

'No. I didn't get the chance.'

'You should go there. It's really nice. That part of the town is really nice, especially at night. It's right next to the beachside.'

I haven't realized it, but our hands have ended up on the floor, between us, and we haven't let go of each other's hand and it feels so right to hold his hand in this very moment.

'I guess that that is my favorite spot from this entire damn town.' He continues to speak about the lighthouse and I begin to feel like I am part of some movie scene that will end up with a kiss and I don't think I want to go that way. So I slip my hand out of his and I change the subject.

'Hey, um, shouldn't you be celebrating with your friends or something, instead of admiring the view here?'

He laughs bitterly. 'What friends? Those fake kiss-asses? They are not even my acquaintances. They just know Tasha. I'm good here with you, thanks.' He says patting my knee. 'But the question is what _you_ are doing here.' he says as he tries to point in my direction. Man, he is really wasted.

I haven't eaten in hours and the booze kicked in too fast so my mouth speaks without restriction.

'My best friend is with her fiancé at our place and I didn't want to disturb them. You know, they haven't seen each other for some time and they need to... _do things_.'

He chuckles. _'Things_?'

'Yeah, you know.'

I give him my glass, indicating that I want some more booze, and he fills it once more.

'I know. But why are you so reticent about saying it?' because it's like the only thing I can think of when I am around you comrade, that's why. Instead of saying it, I play the fool, trying to get away.

'Say what?'

 _'Sex_.' he says still amused, accent fully on and I can feel myself beginning to heat up. I don't want to get into that conversation.

'Is it hot in here?' I ask as I rise and make my way to the window, getting away from him for his own good, and I lean over the cold glass. Yeah, it feels better this way. I sit there, facing him. He still looks amused by my weirdness but then he squints his eyes in my direction, his attention being caught by something else. Thank God that he is not going to push that subject forward.

'What is that on your face?'

I take a hand up, touching my face, and then I look at it. Oh, I forgot about the makeup I put on earlier. I hope I didn't ruin it.

'I put on some makeup.'

'Why?'

'What do you mean why? Does it look bad?' I ask, suddenly very concerned by his opinion.

'You don't need it. You are beautiful without any aid, Roza.'

Wait, he called me what? Roza? It sounded so nice how he said my name.

'What does that mean?'

'What?'

'Roza. You called me like that.' and beautiful. He just called me beautiful. 'Does it mean something?'

'Not really. It's just Russian for rose blossom.' Well, it sounds amazing anyway.

He pours another glass. Is this like our second one, right?

'Why are you so hard on people? You seem a nice guy sometimes.' the words simply escape my mouth, but my question doesn't seem to bother him.

'I wouldn't be here if I wouldn't ask for the best from people around. And if I would be the nice guy all the time, people will think that I am a fool, and they would try to trick me. I have been there before. It's not that I want to be like this.'

'Yeah, I get it somehow, but can't you, you know...' and the thought simply disappears from my head. 'What was I saying? Ah, nevermind.'

He changes the subject. 'You never let your hair down. Why?' is he going to inspect me for long? I begin to feel shy already.

'I usually can't tame it. So it's easier to keep it up.'

'Take your hair tie off. I want to see it.'

Without much fuss, I comply, and my dark waves fall on my shoulders.

He looks at me and blinks twice.

'Well? The verdict is...'

'You are so beautiful right now that it hurts me.' he says dreamily.

I puff. 'Cut the crap.' Even though I liked it, this right here is a perfect textbook pick up line. If he wants to take me to his bed he can at least be original. Who knows, maybe it will finally work on me now that my head is clouded with alcohol.

'You don't believe me, huh?'

'Nope, comrade.'

He looks at me weirdly. 'Stereotype much?'

'Yeah, kind of. I am full of it.' And this is just the beginning. I have a whole stash of stereotypes and clichés I carry around with me.

We sit in silence for some minutes, then, something passes through my brain.

'Hey, can I ask you something?'

'Mhm.' He responds lightly.

And as I look at some lights walking on the ceiling, mindlessly trying to avoid eye contact, my mouth just lets these words out:

'Do you love Tasha?'

Where did that come from? Why would I even want to know that? Do I _want_ to know that? Yes, I kind of do. To be completely honest, I want to know that for a while now because sometimes he is giving me the impression that he might want something more from me than just sex. But I guess that I am just misinterpreting his picking up techniques and this whole ''he might really like me'' is only happening in my head in reality.

But there is no one to answer because he fell asleep. I watch him for a second. He is gently breathing, his chest rising and sinking slowly. His mouth is slightly open and his face looks so peaceful. His hair is disheveled, barely keeping itself into the clasp of his hair tie. His shirt has two unbuttoned buttons separated by a buttoned one, his tie is still standing somehow, and the shirt is half in and half out of his pants. He looks just like a little kid that has tried dressing up on his own for the first time and he's so damn adorable right now.

But wait, I can't let him sleep here like some homeless person. Being the less wasted one, I have the duty to take him home. That's what the rules of drinking buddies say, no?

I get on my fours and crawl my way to him. But before I wake him up, I do something I often dreamt of and I was so close to doing this very morning. I place my hand oh his cheek and move my fingers slowly upward, getting to his hair, putting some rebellious strands behind his ear. Yeah, it's as silky as I thought.

Then, I shake him gently. 'Comrade, wake up. Hey! Wake up.'

He opens his eyes and looks at me, then smiles.

'Come on, let's get you home.' I say as I put one hand on the desk and pull myself up. I steady myself and grab his keys from the table. 'Come on; get on your feet now. I am taking you home.'

But instead of raising himself, he grabs my hand and pulls me back down.

'What the-' but I am already on top of him, our faces millimeters apart and I look straight into the deep chocolate pool of his eyes. Would it be bad if I kiss him right now? _Yes, Rose, it would be wrong. Very wrong._ But I want it so bad.

It seems that he got over the voice of reason, or he just doesn't have one screaming in his head like I do, because he takes his hand and places it at the back of my head, drags me closer and kisses me lightly. Mmmm, God. It feels so good. His lips are so soft. _Wait! What? No!_ _This can't happen_. I pull myself back.

'What are you _doing_? I don't want to-' but he repeats the move, this time his lips pressing harder on mine, crushing them together.

Now I am really pissed. I break contact and plant a slap on his cheek.

'What the _fuck_ , Dimitri? I said no! I don't want to!'

He looks at me confused. 'Why? Everyone wants to.'

'Wow, you are so full of yourself Belikov, you know that? You just think that everybody wants to have sex with you, don't you? Well, I _don't_.' I hope that my nose didn't just grow Pinocchio style.

Instead of saying anything, he starts to laugh.

'Oh, so now I am funny, right?'

'You are the first person ever to say no to me Rose. And the only one who annoyed the _shit_ out of me for so long. But you have something, you know? You are not afraid of me like everybody else around here is. You keep your ground and don't accept other people's crap.' yeah, except your girlfriend's crap. 'I like that about you. You are so feisty. And you are really smart. You know what you are talking about. That's why I like having you around. And it amuses me to see those little pranks that you are pulling. You have such a great imagination.'

'Well, you know, maybe it was time for someone to tell you no. Don't just walk around pretending that everything belongs to you. Not everybody is here to kiss your ass.'

He laughs again. 'I really like you, Roza. You are a fine woman.'

'Fine, comrade. Whatever you say. I'll pretend that this thing didn't happen and I will excuse you this time only because you are drunk. But I won't allow it to happen again, understood?' he nods lightly. 'Now let's get you home for good, no more confessions. That's just the booze in you speaking.'

I get up again and struggle to keep myself on a vertical position on high heels. He rises as well, with some difficulty. Before we head to the elevator, I take the bottle of vodka from him, inspecting it. It still has some liquid in it. I drink the rest of it because I feel that I am going to need it later. Taking him home in these conditions might be a pain in the ass and I might need the courage to keep on saying no to him.

We get to the elevator and I support myself on the wall, just to be sure I don't end up twisting my ankle. At some point Dimitri says something I never thought I would hear from him:

'I'm sorry for kissing you without permission Rose. It was wrong for me to do so.' he passes his hand through his hair and his hair tie falls on the floor, setting free his sable strands. 'I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I really wanted to know how that feels.'

'Yeah, there would be two of us.' I mumble.

'What?' oh, so even in this condition he has superhuman hearing?

'Nothing. I was just saying that it's okay.' And he lets it go, thank God.

We get to the first floor and the building is completely deserted. We head outside.

'Let's take my car.' he says getting his car keys out of his pocket and dangling them around.

'What? No!'

'I can drive.'

'The hell you are!' I respond and take the keys away from him. I am so not going to let him get in that car. 'Wait. Did you come here with your car, _drunk_?'

'Mhm.' and he takes some steps towards the car.

Oh God, he could have crashed into something. What if he died on his way here?

I pull him back and he stops in front of me. 'What the _fuck_ were you _thinking_?'

He squints his eyes at me. 'Language.' He says bothered. Wow, even when he's drunk he can't let go of that.

'Leave that. Tell me what were you thinking! You can barely stand!'

He shakes his shoulders in response. Does he have a death wish or is he just completely stupid?

I manage to find a taxi and get ourselves on the back seats.

'Where are we going Miss?'

'Um, Dimitri, tell me where you live.'

He murmurs something and the driver drives in that direction.

* * *

 **And you know what's gonna happen when they get to his place, don't you? I already told you what's coming in chapter 19 *wink***

 **See you on Thursday guys! XOXO**


	19. Chapter 19

**Okay, so, this chapter is rated M because as I promised, things between Dimitri and Rose get heated up**

* * *

While we are on our way, Dimitri's head falls on my shoulder. I think he fell asleep again. I hope I'll be able to wake him up again because I surely can't carry him around. He would turn me into a human pancake if he would fall over me. But he hasn't fallen asleep, because he says:

'You smell divine Roza.' ugh, he used that name again and it's not doing me any good. In addition to that, he turns his head, his steady breath tickling my neck. And he doesn't move from that spot the whole way to his house and I don't do anything to stop him because I like it way too much. I guess this would be the only level of closeness we'll ever get to.

The cab finally reaches its destination. I pay the driver and drag Dimitri out of the car. We enter the building. So, no mansion? This is totally unexpected.

'Where are we going now?'

'Last story.' Well of course. Why did I even bother to ask?

We get up there and I open the door on the left side of the enormous hallway. As the door opens, the lights in the living room turn on by their own. Wow, that's impressive. And it seems that we are inside the coolest penthouse I have ever seen in my entire life.

'You live _here_? This is so _awesome_!' I sound like a five year old that has seen a giraffe for the first time.

'Not really. It's pretty lonely to sit into an apartment this big by yourself. It's kind of pointless, in fact.' He says closing the door behind us.

Damn, someone is in the sad phase of being drunk. That is surely the vodka in him speaking. I should get him to bed before he starts calling his friends and tells them he loves them.

I think it would be a good idea to support him, or him to support me, anyway, and I say: 'Come, let's get you to sleep. Lead the way.'

We get to his bedroom, and there are no self-turning on lights, but the light shone by the moon is enough to make your way around. And the room is so simple and so beautiful. Just a gigantic bed, two nightstands, a high wardrobe and some paintings on the navy blue walls that contrast with the white ceiling. It also has a big ass window and you can see the whole lit up city. What more could you need in here?

He takes a seat on the edge of the king-sized bed, on the black fluffy cover, then, with a thud, he lays himself down on his back, lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes. I'd better help him get to sleep. I get off his fancy shoes first. I don't know about others, but I can't suffer sleeping with socks on so I take his off too.

Then, I lean over him, mounting over his thighs.

'Come on, comrade. Let's get this off. You may strangle yourself somehow. And I still need you alive tomorrow. You can't pay me if you're dead.' I say and he opens his eyes and watches me like hypnotized as I untie his tie and take it off. I am on my way to back down, when he puts his hands on my hips, drags me down and lifts himself up. Now I am sitting on his lap, with my legs spread. And he is so close to me that I can feel his warm breath on my cheek. My body instantly heatens up. God, this right here is such a bad idea.

'Um, Dimitri, what are you-'

'Shhh.' he says as he passes his hands through my hair, his mouth getting close to my neck, brushing his lips on my skin. No, no, this shouldn't happen. _But I like it so much._

I put my hands on his chest, trying to get some distance between us. ''It's the right thing to do'' I keep on saying to myself.

'Dimitri I don't think I can-'

But he doesn't listen and takes my hands out of his way, grabs the collar of my shirt and pulls it hard, twice. All of my buttons pop and I remain half bare in front of him. He was so gentle a second ago. Where did this come from?

'Hey, my shirt!'

'Leave it. I'll get you another one.' he responds as he places sloppy kisses on my collarbone, his hands getting under my shirt and drawing lines on my back with those long fingers of his.

Then he begins to lick and suck on my now hot skin. For a moment I give in to the pleasure and sigh slowly as my hands find their way into his hair and grip it lightly. _But no!_ I won't give in to him! I can't, even though only God knows how much I want him in this moment.

'No, we shouldn't. I _can't_.' I say as I put my palms on his chest, trying to push him away again. But let's be honest now. I could have got up so many times by now, but I didn't do it. Because I want this with every piece of my being, even though my brain is practically yelling at me that I shouldn't.

'Do you want me to stop?' he asks as his hands travel all the way down on my body, getting now under my skirt and he strokes my thighs. 'Tell me, and I will stop.' He says but I feel in his voice that he doesn't really want to. Hell, I don't either. His touches burn my skin and God, I don't want him to ever stop.

'I don't know. But this is so wrong.' I say as I arch my back, getting the upper part of my body closer to his chest.

And this, my friends, this is the last rational thought I have. Because the rest of them just jump out of Dimitri's expensive window as he speaks.

'Then why does this feel so right?' he says between some other kisses on my hot flesh, as he gets lower to my breasts, his hands getting to my ass and he strokes my skin hungrily.

Look, my thoughts just hit the ground and turned mush, just like my brain.

I moan, as he slowly makes his way with one of his hands between my legs towards my panties. But he doesn't get further. He just takes his time, familiarizing himself with the sensitive skin of my inner thighs.

Then, he stops and looks me in the eyes. 'I need you to tell me, Roza. Do you want me to stop?' I look at him and shake my head no. 'So do you want this?' his accent is again slipping.

Do I? Yes, I want to feel every inch of him. 'Yeah, I want it.' I answer and he gives me a devilishly smile. I pass my hands through his soft hair and pull him closer, initiating a kiss. I don't care what happens tomorrow. The only thing that matters now is that his lips are pressed against mine and we are kissing hungrily. God, I wanted to do this for so long.

His hand is still between my thighs and after I give him permission, he moves forward, and I think he is going to drag my underpants down, but oh, I am so wrong. Instead, he begins to rub with two fingers the spot between my legs, over the material of my panties.

As I let out a loud ''aaah'' into his mouth, I clasp my hands into his hair, my whole body contracting, and I drag him closer, burying his face into the crook of my neck. He begins to move faster and all I am capable of doing in that moment is to moan loudly.

'Fuck this shit.' I declare as I let go of him. I want more and there are too many clothes in between. I take off my ruined shirt, pushing myself back and forth so that I'll intensify his touch. Then, as he continues that maddening movement, his other hand getting a good hold of my hip, I unbutton his shirt and walk my hands all over his hard chest and down on his six-pack. I take his shirt off too, sadly breaking the contact between us. I look at him and I can't help myself. He looks so fucking hot. I need him to take me right now. This desire is practically burning inside me.

His hands find their way up again, brushing the skin on my back, and as he is sucking and biting on my neck and up my jaw, he tries to unclasp my bra with one hand, but it keeps on slipping from his grip.

I growl in frustration. 'I'll do it.' I say as I get rid of the bra easily, throwing it God knows where.

He looks at me for a second, smiles and cups my breasts with his hands, slowly massaging my peaks' sensitive skin with his thumbs. Oh Lord, fuck! I already can't breathe normally, and this is not helping me at all. I close my eyes, tilt my head back and put my hands on his knees, pushing my chest forward, simply enjoying the things he does to me. There is this thing building inside me and it is clouding my mind.

He may be drunk but he sure knows how to totally arouse a woman. Maybe this is some kind of born instinct to him, I don't know, but he's so good at this. I am already dripping.

Then, he rises, holding on to me and he turns around, putting me slowly on the bed, on my back. He places a little kiss on my lips before getting to his feet. He doesn't get his eyes off me while he gets his pants and boxers off. As he does that, I get rid of my skirt too. When I reach for my panties, he stops me.

'I'll do that.' he says and I don't mind at all.

He comes above me and kisses me again, his tongue invading my mouth as I am mindlessly ravishing his hair. He continues his way down, between my breasts until he gets to my abdomen and spends some seconds there, brushing his lips on my skin. Then, he traces the line of my panties with kisses and I can feel hot air blowing on my skin as he is breathing heavily, so close to my sensitive area. I can't take that no more.

'Take them off already!' I command. He smiles and gladly complies.

I haven't realized until now, but he is huge. Like, wow. I have never done it with any guy before (I know, being a 23 years old virgin might seem lame, but trust me, looking at him now, yeah; it was totally worth the waiting), and I can tell that he is totally above average at this chapter too. I try to push away the anxiety that begins to rise in my mind at the thought of his enormity inside me and it works somehow. I open myself for him, the desire to feel him taking over my fear. It will all be fine.

He comes on top of me again, with his hands beside my head, and kisses me fiercely, as we are both gasping for air. I place my hands on his shoulders, and make my way down on his strong arms, exploring every inch of him, and then get up on his back, drawing lines with my fingers along his bare skin, feeling all of his toned muscles.

As he thrusts me, I dig my nails deep into his skin and clench my fists. He growls and I cry out his name as pain shots through me. On instinct, I try to pull my legs together, squeezing him in the process. His eyes widen in shock and he freezes halfway. My reaction wasn't what he expected. Hell, I didn't expect this either. And some tears begin to fall from my eyes involuntarily. God, this alcohol is really messing up with my emotions. Everything feels so intense in this moment. His expression turns to worried in a flash. He pulls himself out slow, and from what I can tell from his tone, he is swearing in Russian.

'Roza, are you alright? I am sorry. What happened? Did I hurt you?' he asks as his thumbs try to wipe away my tears and soothe me.

'It hurt.' is everything I can say, my voice cracking. Where did this whiny bitch come from? I heard from some girls that it might hurt when you do it the first time, but I surely didn't expect things to be like this.

'We should stop.'

'No.' I say categorically. 'I want you.' I say and pass my hand through his silky hair.

'Me too, but, are you sure?'

'More than ever.' I am one hundred percent sure of this and I am not going to stop this thing. I have wanted it for too long now.

His hand finds mine and entangles our fingers, and then he softly kisses my forehead.

'I'll go slowly. Tell me if you want me to stop. I don't want to hurt you.'

He comes close to my center and hovers above me. And he is indeed moving slow. As I feel him in me once more, I squeeze his hand as the pain comes again, but fortunately, it is not that bad anymore. It's only a faint sting. He tries to pull out again.

'No, no. Don't stop.' I encourage him.

'It won't last for long, I promise.' He assures me and then goes all the way in, stretching my walls. I relax completely under him and sigh in relief as I accustom myself with this sensation of fullness.

Then, he continues at a steady slow pace.

'Is this okay?' how can he be so drunk and so careful at the same time? Most guys would just want to fuck and that's all.

'Yeah.' I say with a moan and get my legs up on his hips, giving him a better angle. It hurt at first, but all I can feel now is pure pleasure. I never want him to stop. And I can't stop moaning as he hovers above me and does amazing things to my body, his eyes still carefully fixated on me.

I ask him to go faster and he complies, and moves his mouth down on my neck and works his magic there too. I dig my nails into his back again, trying to keep myself steady as he thrusts even deeper in me. This is the best sex I have ever had. Practically, the only sex I ever had. But it feels divine. It is like I am high on the best drug ever.

Then, something inside me simply pops, my back curls towards him and I begin to scream his name in pleasure, my body convulsing slowly from the unexpected overflow of bliss. Not long after, I feel that he releases himself too, as he squeezes on my hand that he didn't let go the whole time.

After that sublime moment, we both lay on our backs, our hands still tied between us, as we are catching our breaths. This was simply amazing. I am mind blown. Considering all the things he has done to me, Dimitri surely is a god in bed, no other proof needed. But I wouldn't mind at all to be reminded of it from time to time.

At some point, he turns to his side, takes me into his embrace, turning me to face his chest. He entangles our legs, dissolving the distance between us and then kisses my temple. The connection between us feels amazing. I can't tell where I finish and where he begins. There is just one of us now.

'Roza, are you feeling fine?' he begins to soothe my hair.

I move my head up and down. 'Amazing.'

He tells me a word in his native language and kisses me again. I don't know what he said, but it sounded simply perfect. In that position, I happily fall asleep encircled by his warmth.

* * *

 **Soo, how did you like it guys?**

 **I thought that since this was Rose's first time it should be sweeter or something resembing that, but I have in mind some hotter scenes for later ;)**

 **DreamingRoseWithPower, if you are asking about the blonde in chapter 9, she is a someone I plan to use later. She won't be around for much, just a little scene. I initially put her in my story to emphasize Dimitri's behaviour, but I got an idea and I decided to take advantage of the woman's presence in my story**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey guys! I want to start by wishing you all happy holidays and may Santa bring you all you have wished for! XOXO**

 **And DreamingRoseWithPower, thanks for your wishes! :***

 **Okay, so now, getting back to the story.**

 **First, dear Magilineals, trust me, you have no idea how much happiness brings to me that someone likes my story that much! *dances around the room* I hope you'll like the rest of it as much as these chapters :)**

 **Yes, Bitterblue Fairchild, I am planning to do both things you mentioned in your review, only a little later :)**

 **Aaand, Jacjac, I can assure you that things won't go easy at all. I am planning a lot of things to happen before things get to be amazing between the two of them, but I can assure you that it will be worth it because I am also planning a lot of cute loving stuff for them too. And I don't know how much this ''the morning after'' thing I wrote would be as you expected it to be, but I hope it won't be that bad either.**

* * *

I wake up without any alarm. The room is still pretty dark, and it seems that the sun just began to rise as there is some faint light piercing through my eyelids. It seems that I forgot to pull the drapes last night. I am laying on my stomach and I try to change my position, wanting to get rid of that light disturbing my sleep, but there is something over me that is preventing me from moving. A someone, in fact, because I can feel their warm breath on my right bare shoulder.

Wait a second. First, how did I end up naked in bed? And second, why is Lissa sleeping in my bed and when did she get this heavy? But most of all, why is she naked too? There is too much skin around and it's not comfortable to think of how we ended up in this situation. Did we take some drugs last night and I don't remember about it? Highly improbable. We would never do some shit like this.

I try to turn again, and I succeed to move a little, because she finally changes her position, freeing me. But I stop shocked as I hear a sleepy growl. In a man's voice.

I snap my head up and finally open my eyes. I turn my gaze to the left side to see who the person next to me is. _Dimitri_. The person laying next to me is Dimitri. Dimitri, my boss. Good God, what have I done? _I'll tell you. You just fucked up big time Rose, that's what you did._ No, no, no. This cannot happen.

Flashes from what happened last night come back to my mind in an instant. Everything is covered into a thin blur, but I remember every second of it. It's all ingrained in my brain. And now it's all like one of those dreams you have in which everything is perfect and you get all those good fuzzy emotions and then you wake up, get back to the cruel reality and find out that it wasn't true and you get sad about it. But in my case, it was no dream. It all happened for real and there is nowhere to go after you wake up.

And do you remember when I said that I didn't care what happens today? Well, I _do_ care in fact. The alcohol in me was the one who didn't care and made me act on my deepest desires. What was I thinking? In fact, why _wasn't_ I thinking?

God, the only thing I can think of is that I have slept with another woman's man. _What is wrong with me?_ I have just kind of ruined a relationship, even though Tasha is used to things like this. And I am not that kind of person. I can't be. It's not fair towards her, no matter how bad she is with me. I can't do this thing to her. _What was I thinking_? I am so mad with myself right now. I did really want him, but I promised myself that I wouldn't fall into his trap, but here I am, waking up in his bed. _Way to go, Rose_. It was stupid for me to give in to him and I know that it shouldn't have happened, even though I won't lie, I loved every second of it. But I swear to God that I won't let it happen again. I just hope that he would understand this when I explain it to him later. He must be reasonable. We were both drunk and one thing led to another and well, yeah, we had mind-blowing sex.

I take a look at the clock on his nightstand. 4:52. He usually arrives at six. So, assuming he wakes up at five, by doing the math, this means that I have exactly eight minutes to get the hell out of here. Under no circumstance I am going to wake up next to him. Or him next to me. Fuck it. Whatever. I'm out of here.

He has turned around, and now I am completely free to move without having to worry about waking him up. I get out of the bed slowly, without making any noise. I search for my clothes but it is hard for me to concentrate because of the dull pain in my head that is getting worse and worse from the movement. Damn you Russian vodka. Why did I have to drink that much anyway?

First I find my skirt and I put it on. And my bra is easy to find too as it is hanged on the corner of one of the nightstands. Then, I find my shirt. My buttonless shirt. Well, fuck. I'll throw it into the first garbage I find. I didn't like it anyway. It was itching me. I take his shirt instead. He will not miss it for sure. As I put it on, his smell invades my senses once more and I stop for a second to take the collar of the shirt to my nose. _You don't have the time to get drunk on his smell, remember?_ Yeah, right. But where are my panties? I look around the bed and find them, almost wholly under him. Nice. I try to pull them and he growls again, adjusting his position and almost touches me with his hand, but I take a step back just in time. You know what? He can have them. Keep them as a fucking souvenir; put them in a frame, I don't care, as long as he won't see me here. I'll survive today without my underpants.

Well, I am dressed now and I should go. But just let me look at him one more time. I might never get the occasion to see him like this. He looks so peaceful, sleeping on his belly, covered from the waist down with the black cover, with one hand hanging above the floor, his hair scattered on the white pillow, mouth partially open. I can't help myself and I get closer to him. I clasp my hair with one hand so that it won't tickle him and I bend over to place a kiss on his cheek, the last kiss I ever give to him, my lips brushing over the tiny hairs that appeared on his skin. To my luck, he doesn't react.

Well, then I guess I'll see you later. I just hope that we would be able to get over this thing fast. I don't want things to degenerate.

Before I get out of his bedroom, I stop into the door frame and look at him once more, remembering the nice things that happened a couple of hours between us in that bed. But what are these red things on his ba-Oh, my bad. I'll apologize later. Now I really have to get out of here before things get the chance to get even weirder than they will get later.

But as I still think about last night, what is constantly buzzing me is if he really meant those words he said to me yesterday. He seemed so nice to me and I don't know, from the way he was acting with me, he seemed to want me in some other way, not only for sex, you know? He seemed really honest. Or were they some things said and done just to get me into his bed and he's a good actor, despite all the alcohol in his system at that moment? I shake all of my thoughts out of my head. It won't matter later. If I am lucky enough, I'll be fired till the end of the week, if not today. He doesn't need me around anymore, this is sure. Or even better: now I gave Tasha a reason to kick my ass out of that office, so her wish of getting rid of me would become true. I just can't wait to see her face as she says goodbye to me.

I grab my purse and my shoes from the living room and get out the door. Thank God he hasn't woken up yet. But I still have to move fast because I don't have much time left. As I cross the hallway on my way down, I see my reflection into one mirror. Wow. I look like someone doing the walk of shame. Which is kind of true, right?

My appearance is completely disheveled. I stop to fix my makeup a little, what is left of it anyway, and to put my clothes in place. As I do so, a woman exits her apartment, the one just in front of Dimitri's and her eyes land on me. I smile weakly in her direction, trying not to seem like a potential burglar to her, but she pulls a face on me and shakes her head, mumbling something about ''the loud one'' and goes on her way out. Well, maybe my screaming bothered her last night. I haven't thought about this at that moment, but the damage is already done so there is nothing I can do about it now.

And I am so going to get many glares like that on my way to the office because I have to get there now. The thing is that I have no time to get home first. We may have just had sex, but I don't think he will let me get away with being late.

I find a cab and after a period of enduring horny glares into the central mirror from the pig that is driving the car, I finally arrive at Belikov Enterprises, around 5:20. The building is empty at this hour, thank God. The only person present here to silently judge me is the night warder, but I try not to make eye contact as I pass him. I get upstairs, grab my spare change of clothes (see? it was a good idea to bring some clothes in here) and head to the bathroom. He can't see me looking like this. It will only make him prouder of himself.

I change into a pair of jeans and a light blue shirt. Then, as I look in the mirror to see if everything is in the right place, I see it. All over my breasts and my collarbones are reddish spots, easy to hide, but most of all, I have a hickie on my neck that turned purple and it is visible from outer space. Oh, you motherfucker! You just had to mark me, right? The purple spot on my skin is not enormous, but it is still visible. I fully button my shirt and let my hair down to cover it better. Then, I take care of my face, getting rid of the makeup. Well, now I look normal again. Except for one thing. I smell like sex. It's a faint smell of salty sweat, not like that one you get after you run for ten miles; it's kind of an interesting combination, along with my perfume and the earthy scent of him, but still. And I have no perfume to cover it. Well, it seems that you can't have them all. I have to resume to the smell of my fabric softener to do the trick.

I finish at 5:45. Should I bother to make that coffee? Well, I surely need one. And a pill for my atrocious headache. Maybe two. I make it fast and leave his on the kitchen counter until he arrives. Then, I sit on my chair, drinking my coffee and waiting for everything that is going to come next. So help me God.

I kind of feel bad now for leaving, maybe I shouldn't have done it, but the damage is already done. I can't just go back in there, can't I? And I don't think that the things are going to work differently if I would have stayed. They would only have gotten weirder that way. Maybe he even is used for the women to leave and I have only done the right thing. Well, fuck it. I have bigger things to worry about right now.

* * *

It is 6:15 when he finally exits the elevator. Long night, comrade? I almost point out to him the fact that he is late, but I think better of my situation and decide it's better to shut up. But if the situation would have been different, he would have gotten a sarcastic comment from me.

He walks towards me. Here we go. I take a deep breath in and prepare myself for the long speech I have made in my head while waiting for him to come. Oh, and the things I have to say to him. When he gets close enough, he says: 'Good morning, Miss Hathaway!' with a big smile. Well, isn't he a happy camper? Of course he is; he just fucked his secretary's brains out. Unlike me, all he has to do is to be proud of himself.

But how should I act now? I don't think I can be as cheerful as him. I resume to responding with a simple ''Good morning''. I'll deliver my speech any second now.

'Come to my office in five minutes, please.' oh, so now we are polite too? 'And can you bring me some pain killer? I have a monstrous headache.' of course you do; from how wasted you were, I guess you drank like two bottles of vodka yourself, so there is no surprise for me.

Five minutes later I enter and approach him with my head down. I can't do this. We are going to have an embarrassing talk soon. And gosh, things are going to be so weird.

He is holding in his hand one of the glasses we drank from last night and studies it, turning it around. The glass is mine because it has dark red lipstick marks on it. Well, if Tasha comes around here, that is proof number one that he slept with me. And from what I heard, nothing like this gets past her. She turns into Sherlock all of a sudden when it comes to Dimitri's mistresses.

'I am sorry you had to come here today. I am going to take today off, and you bothered to come. I didn't have the time to announce you.' so, are we now going to pretend that nothing happened? Not that I would mind. It kind of is easier this way.

'Um, it's okay.'

'Rose,' oh, wow! Now we are theeing and thouing too? 'did you change something at yourself?' he comes closer to me and tries to touch my shoulder or something, maybe even my hair, I don't know, but I don't let him. Nope. No more touching Mister. That was it. Last night is all you'll ever get. I shift my weight and pretend to look at my shoes just in time and get myself out of his way. He seems surprised by my gesture but doesn't say a thing about it. 'You look different.'

'Um, not really. I didn't do anything.' I am just glowing after some great sex, no biggie.

'I know; it is your hair, isn't it? You let it down. You never wear it like that.' damn, isn't he chatty this morning? And so jolly. And he is talking crap too. He saw me with my hair down yesterday. I just want to punch him somewhere it will hurt him bad. All I want to ask him now is _what the fuck Belikov_? Weren't we pretending it didn't happen? Why is he giving me all these stupid hints?

'Yes, I did.' and I absentmindedly put my hair behind my ear.

The next thing I know is that he is staring at the half-visible part of my purple spot. I rapidly cover it back with my hair. Evidence number two. God, if I were a criminal into a TV show I would have already been cuffed.

'Is that a spider bite?' he asks concerned. Is this guy seriously just _fucking_ with me right now? Okay, I am going to play his game. Let's see how far things are going to get.

'Yeah, it bit me _last night_.'

'Oh, you should take care of it. It could get infected.' I just blink in response. For once in a long time, I am at a loss of words. Where is he trying to get with this?

'Well, I'll let you go. Please cancel everything for today and you can go home. Have a good day, Miss Hathaway. I'll see you tomorrow.'

I just turn and head for the door. Unbelievable! Can I snap his neck now?

'Miss Hathaway?'

'Yes?' I turn again. Does he have some other hints to drop?

'Is this the necklace you bought for Tasha some time ago?' he asks as he is holding in his hand _my_ necklace. Yes, it resembles the one I bought her, that is what caught my attention in the first place when I bought it. But mine is way shorter and it has no pendant.

I have that necklace from my grandmother, and I would wear it from time to time because it had its lock fucked. And the first time I decide to wear it at the office, I manage to lose it in his bed. Goddamnit! I should have repaired its lock a long time ago! How am I going to take it back from him now that we are pretending that nothing really happened?

Aaaand, that's proof number three. I take my hand instinctively to my neck, to be sure that it is really my necklace. But he sees that, so I take my hand even further, getting it to my chin and scratching it, pretending to think about it. I hope he doesn't suspect a thing. But why is he even asking me this? He already knows that the necklace is mine, I guess I was still wearing it while we…yeah. For God's sake, isn't he a player? Where does he want to get with this? Why is he teasing me this much? Is he trying to make me feel embarrassed? Because I tell you, it is working!

Hey, but what if he has amnesia? I heard that sometimes it can occur if you have a strong enough orgasm, mind-blowing sex or something like that, I didn't pay attention to the facts. Hell, I am amazed that I don't have temporary amnesia too.

But to please him, I tell him that the necklace is not the one I bought for Tasha. It has to be someone else's, because I never saw her wearing it. Plus, I omit to say that it belongs to me.

Then, he says: 'One last thing. Did I, by chance, come back here last night? Have you seen me around?'

Something is totally wrong. He is surely just playing with me. And I so don't like playing this game of his. But if he really wants it, so be it. Anything to please my boss, right? I will take this fucking charade as far as it gets until he decides he had enough of it. I won't twitch to lie to him. Let's see if he reacts to this. I am not going to admit anything unless he says it first.

'I don't _know_ , Sir. I have left shortly after you did. And I spent _my whole_ night with my friend. At _home_.'

He just accepts my answer and thanks me.

I get out. Okay, what the fuck is happening? What is he trying to get out of all this shit? And for how long are we going to play like this? Because I don't like this thing at all.


	21. Chapter 21

**Okay, let's set things right. Dimitri will so _not_ go back to Tasha, that is sure. She is totally out of the picture for him.**

 **This chapter won't be a DPOV, but I still hope that it says enough :)**

 **And well, guys, someone said that the amnesia thing is utter nonsense (and it may be in someone's else's opinion too; I won't argue with that; I can't please everyone; I know that that thing is impossible), but I have already told you about it into the story's description, so you should have seen it coming :)**

 **And for some of you it may seem that I am dragging the story to an infinite and maybe I am, I don't know, that's for you to decide, but this is how I thought my story should be and I don't plan to change it because I have already written some more chapters in that direction and I don't really want to throw them away. It's my work and I won't give up on it that easily. I just hope that you would stick with me till the end :***

* * *

You know what? It is just perfect that he has given me a free day today. After he just did a few moments ago, I don't think I can be near him, not even for a second. He just showed me how far his cockiness can go and I might snap at him and rip his head off if I need to stay around him some more. Ugh! My blood is practically boiling with anger. How dare he do something like this?

I plop myself on the chair and pick up the phone to cancel all his precious meetings. But as I want to introduce the first phone number, I hear that someone is already using the first line and is having a very interesting conversation with another man. I don't think that I have lost very much since it began, as I just exited his office. Curiosity runs through me on an instant. I need to know what the fuck is going on. So, I make myself as silent as I can and eavesdrop. I know it's not nice, but it might be necessary. I really want to know why he is acting like this and this conversation might shed some light on the subject.

'The best sex of your life? Really?'

Oh, so I was right. He is just playing around.

'I am not kidding, Ivan. I know it was amazing.' Well, at least we share the same opinion here.

But who is Ivan? His personal confessor? Yeah, he just called to brag with his newest addition to the list of conquests. Fucking men. But Ivan sounds Russian, right? Why are they speaking in English?

'When?'

'Last night.'

'So you got an unforgettable birthday gift, huh? What was so special about it?'

'I just practically woke up with scratches on my back.'

Oh yeah, that's on me. I might still need to apologize for that. Just _if_ he brings it into the discussion.

'And I found buttons scattered on the floor. I guess I ripped her shirt or something in the process.' You _guess_ Belikov? 'I think she had to take mine instead because I couldn't find it.'

Well, I couldn't leave in only my bra! And I had to leave my favorite burgundy Victoria's Secret panties under him. They were a Christmas gift from Lissa. So I guess it was more than a fair exchange, okay?

'Well, that is some wild sex you are talking about.'

'And she, she was just, so exotic. And so genuine. The way she screamed, _man_.'

Ooookay, am I supposed to feel good about myself or very ashamed right now? Because I feel mostly like the latter.

'Well, who is the lucky girl? Don't make me wait.' Okay, say it. It was stupid Rose.

'There is a problem.'

'Oh, it's Rose, right? So, what is the problem? Are you afraid that Tasha would fire her? Didn't you say that she wouldn't get involved in this kind of things anymore?'

You know what? After this conversation ends I am out of here for goods, with or without his or Tasha's help. I am quitting in this very second. I am not going to be around just to satisfy his carnal wishes. And I just can't play this ''it didn't happen game'' with him no more. It seems that last night was for him just successful pussy hunting and I was stupid enough to believe that he kind of liked me. He is such a good actor he deserves a fucking prize.

'I thought so too.' You _thought_? Okay, I am officially confused. _What the fuck is happening?_ Does he know I am listening and wants to fuck with me some more? Is he this cruel? 'But no. Rose _wouldn't_ do that. You know how things are working between me and her.'

Wait, what? But I just did, comrade. Is he still going to pretend it wasn't me? He can tell the truth, at least to this man. He was very specific with the other details.

' _Please,_ don't tell me it was Tasha.'

'You know what happened between us some time ago.' I prick up my ears. What happened? 'Plus, Tasha and I haven't had sex in months.' I almost puff right into the phone as I roll my eyes. Yeah, sure. Except for the night you screwed her into your office, boy. I won't forget that night anytime soon. All I could think of then was how they were touching each other and remembering it now, it is still annoying me more than it should. 'And she won't know in her entire life what good sex is. Everything about that woman is fake. Including her orgasms.' Wow, such a complex conversation are these guys having. 'But who knows, maybe I am the one to blame for that.' he says lastly and I swear I can see the eye roll he did. But here I have to disagree. The problem is surely _not_ him.

'Then why do you keep on hanging out with her?'

'You know I promised her something. But mostly, until now, it was the power of habit I guess. She is the only one who never left.'

I don't get the most things he is talking about, who knows what history they share, but what I get is that between the two of them things aren't going very well. Maybe this is why Tasha is such a panther around him lately and is acting that badly with me. She maybe knows that he just keeps her around for decor and she is afraid of the day he is going to leave her.

'Then? Who _is_ she?'

'I don't really remember.'

 _What_?

'What?'

'Look, I was so wasted that I don't remember half the things I did last night. All I know is that I was into that club with all of Tasha's little friends. Then I drink something. Then I drive.'

'You drove _drunk_? What were you thinking buddy?'

Yeah, he got a lecture about that from me too.

'Yes, I know it was stupid, you don't need to remind me. The thing is that I couldn't find my car this morning. But when I came to the office it was in the parking lot. So I guess I came here, even though I don't remember doing it. All I do remember is being into the elevator at some point and going down. And the thing is that I wasn't alone. And to back that up, I have found now some glasses on my desk. I think I drank something here with that woman and then we left. I don't really know where she came into the equation though. I have a hunch, but I am not sure.'

'So why aren't you looking on the tapes and solve the problem?'

'The cameras are out this week. We are making their inspection, so there is nothing I can do about that. But leave that.'

'Okay, so then what?'

'The next thing I know is that I am laying on my bed and this woman is above me, undressing me' hey! I was just making sure you won't strangle yourself with that tie, you jackass! I was _so_ not trying to undress you, you arrogant bastard. You were the one who began the undressing part from what I remember. If I would have known where things would head to, I would have let you suffocate. Maybe it would have taught you a lesson. 'and I guess that we fought or something, I am not sure and then she says ''Fuck this shit'' and she undresses. That's all I remember that happened. Oh, and she was so beautiful. Like, s _o_ , _so_ , beautiful.'

'Easy there, buddy, I can almost hear you drool over your desk.'

At that, I let out a small laugh, but none of them seems to have noticed it.

 _'Very funny_.'

Well, it would be kind of funny if I wouldn't be the subject of this conversation.

'But do you know _something_ about her? Besides the incredible sex. You said you don't remember much from what you did, but do you remember something about how she looks? '

'I don't really remember many _things_ about her. I can only bring back some sensations. Like her perfume. I know that she smelled amazing. Oh, and her hair was so soft. And the way I was feeling when I was with her. This blackout doesn't really make sense for me.' He says obviously bothered. And hearing him say these things about me makes me feel nice, I won't deny it. Maybe, after all, he _does_ like me? God, it's so frustrating not to know what's going into his fucking mind! Why does he have to act one way and speak the other? Can't he decide already?

'For a second there, I could have sworn that you fell in love with this mysterious woman.' This Ivan says amused.

'Yeah, sure.' he says and puffs.

Somehow his response hurts me. So, I am nothing more than a game for him, this is sure now. I don't need for him to fall in love with me or something, but at least I thought that last night was, I don't know, different for him than any other nights he spent with other women, even though he doesn't _know_ it was me. He made it seem like that from the way he was speaking a second ago. For me, last night _was_ special. I mean, it was my first time after all. And he made it seem that way too when he embraced me and whispered those words to me and from how careful he was with me. But I guess I was just another conquest of his. It seems that I thought wrongly about him being different. I was such a fool to fall into his trap again. When will I learn not to fall for his shit anymore?

A pause comes. He chuckles. 'This is not a useful thing, but I have her panties.' Oh, wow. Why don't you send him a picture of them you bastard? Make a newspaper announcement too. Put them on the internet. God, I so want to strangle him with those underpants.

'You _what_? She left them there?' well, it's not like I had any other choice.

'Yes, she did. Maybe to make it up for the fact that she left before I woke up.' He seems pretty upset by the situation. Well, I can only be glad that I left.

'Well, that's too bad. Okay, leave that for now. What about something _helpful_? Do you remember something that would help you recognize her somehow?'

'I have her necklace too. I found it under me this morning. I asked Rose if she saw it on Tasha and she said she didn't. You know she always pretended to _drop_ things in my pockets. So if it's not Tasha's, it must be hers. '

'And what? You are going to walk around asking whose that necklace is? Put it on every girl's neck until it fits, like prince charming with Cinderella? Every girl would lie to you that the necklace is hers and would come with a complicated story to make you believe it. This won't work.'

'Yeah, it won't work. But there is something else.'

What? How many things did I leave there?

'What?'

'This is like the only thing that stuck to my mind. On her left ribs, she has a birthmark. It is whitish and it didn't seem to fit, you know? It was spoiling her perfection. And it resembles a...how is it called..it is a..an..'

Almond.

'Almond!'

Okay, how does he even _remember_ that? He isn't able to remember my fucking face but he suddenly remembers my birthmark? It's my luck that I don't have to get naked in front of this man ever again.

'And now what? You are going to undress every woman you lay your eyes on and look for her birthmark?'

'I could try.' He says amused.

Fucking men. They are all just a bunch of pigs. They think that women are ready to fall to their feet at any second. I am so done. I can't listen to them anymore. I might just get in there and slap the shit out of him. I switch lines and do what I am supposed to do. I need to get out of here as soon as possible.

 **The rest of the conversation:**

'Yeah, sure, Belikov. Keep me up to date with that, will you?' Ivan says sarcastically.

'I am kidding. I was just trying to find something funny in this annoying situation. But I don't know; there is something about this woman. I can't get her out of my head. And it is so annoying the fact that I don't remember her face. I mean, I kind of do, I guess. It's so frustrating that I don't know for sure.'

'Okay, so, how did this happen, Mister Abstinence?'

'Ha, ha. Very funny.'

'Well, I don't know how you see things, but for me, they are indeed funny.'

'Yeah, right. For me it's not at all. You know? The only rational explanation I find for sleeping with that woman is that she resembles Rose. I know it's stupid, but hear me out until the end. I saw this woman into the club yesterday that looked just like her. And I have some feeling that it was her I slept with because I remember talking with her before leaving the club and all the way to my car. I even remember a bit of our conversation, but that doesn't help me right now. That is the only thing I can think of that makes some sense from last night. But I am not sure and this is annoying the hell out of me. And I have no idea how to find her either. I mean, you know I wouldn't have done such a thing with someone else, because yeah, you know that all I can think about is Rose.'

'But still, you ended up with that woman.'

'Look, I am not saying that it wasn't a stupid thing for me to do so in the first place, but I just can't take it anymore. And you know how close I was to do that shit with Tasha that night, _sober_ , just because of the same reason. And now, being drunk and with that woman looking just like her, I swear that they could pass as twins, and I think that I just couldn't keep myself together for long. I swear that this woman is going to kill me one day.'

'Are you sure it wasn't Rose?'

'Yes. It wasn't her. That would only make much less sense. Plus, I asked her if, by any chance, she met me last night and she said that she spent her night at home with her friend. What can I do? Ask her if she had sex with me?'

'Yeah, you could do that.'

'Come on, you _know_ very well how things are working with her. She is always acting just like I would do some horrible things to her. It's so obvious that she is not interested. Just this morning I slipped and I was close to putting her hair behind her ear and God, you should have seen the face she pulled. So, things don't match here. Why would she act like this if we would have been together last night? Plus, she was at home the whole night. How did I stumble over her then?'

'Okay then, if it wasn't her, it must be that mysterious woman resembling her you are talking about. Good luck at finding her. That's the only thing you can do to help you. Otherwise, there is nothing else to do than let it go. But speaking of Rose, how are things going? Still that bad?'

'I don't know. On some days it is going quite okay. But I still don't get her. She is such a mystery to me.'

Ivan laughs. 'Yeah. Maybe this is why she attracts you so much. You can't figure her out and this annoys the shit out of you. You always had a thing for this kind of women. Oh, but tell me, did she do anything new to mess with you?'

'No, nothing happened since that night with Tasha into my office. I guess she ran out of ideas. But she somehow found out about my birthday and she brought me a cupcake. That little thing made my day. And today she came in wearing her hair down for the first time. You should have seen how good it fitted her.'

Ivan sighs loudly. 'Dimitri, there is one thing I don't get. Please, explain it to me.'

'What?'

'Why don't you just _do_ something about this? I mean, I can tell that you care for her. You never talked like this about a woman before. Every time we talk, you just bring her up, out of nowhere. You never did that with Tasha. Or with any other woman. Except, you know…'

'Yeah, let's not bring that up now. But I don't know. It's just that I am not sure. She doesn't seem interested. Like, at all.'

'Look, if this is not you falling for this woman, don't call me Ivan, okay?'

'Am I?' Dimitri asks and a little smile appears on his lips at this thought.

'I know you well enough to confirm that you are.'

'I don't know man. But she seems so uptight around me. I can't figure out what she is thinking. What if I do something and she gets me wrong? I wouldn't want for her to leave. It's nice here with her around.'

'It may be, but you can't keep on living like this. You are practically _torturing_ yourself this way. Let her know. What will happen will happen.'

'No. I think I will wait some more. Maybe things are going to head in another direction if I wait. If I get to know her better. Maybe she will give me some hint. Maybe I would finally get to understand her.'

'This is _so_ unlike you buddy, but fine. Do as you wish. Keep on waiting for that divine sign Dimitri.'

 **The conversation ends**

But as I am cancelling his plans for the day, this idea strikes me: he doesn't _know_ it was me. This means that I can keep my job. I like it here and the money is good. I'll just have to make sure he won't find out. Which won't be that hard. He already thinks that it wasn't me and I have already given him enough evidence not to suspect me.

* * *

I barely get to close the door of our apartment that Lissa is bursting out of our bedroom and starts to interrogate me.

'Where have you been all night long? Why didn't you call? Why didn't you answer your phone? Why did you come so early from work today? Why do you look so uncheerful? Did something happen? You got fired or something? Is that bitch Tasha messing with you again? Or is it Belikov? Is he making your life hard again?'

'Liss, calm down.' I say as I place my hands on her shoulders and take her to sit on the couch. 'Look, a lot of things happened last night, and I fucked up, and now I don't know what to do. It's just that I really like this job and I don't think I want to quit. And the money is good too, you know? But what if she finds out? Hell, what if he realizes it was me? He's not stupid. What do I do then? How can I hide the fact that I care for him? No, forget that, I can't have feelings for that pig. I _won't_!'

'Rose, sweetie, you are scaring me a little. I don't understand what you are talking about. Can you please explain me everything from the beginning?'

And I tell her everything. Starting with the moment Dimitri exited that elevator last night, and finishing with me leaving the office this morning. And she just simply listens to me, not questioning my reasons, not judging me. And this is one of the reasons I love her so much. She never judged me; she always tried to understand me and she always helped me to understand myself better.

'So what should I do now, Liss?'

'You said you wanted to keep your job. Are you ready to keep this secret from him, along with your, um, feelings?' no, there are no feelings. There shouldn't be. I won't let them be. 'If so, I am here to support you no matter what, Rose. I don't want you to suffer. So any choice you make, I will be there for you.'

We discuss things some more time, and she brings sense into my mind. The only thing I can't understand is how I could begin to fall for this man. I mean he is so, so, ugh! I need to somehow get him fast out of my mind. From now on, it's only business between us, period. No matter what I feel, he is trouble with capital t. and I don't need to be another conquest of his. Or at least I don't want him to know that I already am one.


	22. Chapter 22

**Jacjac, just to set this thing right, when I said locket, I was referring to that thing that helps you put the necklace on (I have searched for a more proper word and I guess it is called a clasp? Or maybe a lock? I hope I am not wrong with that), not to some pendant. In my language it is translated to locket and I used the same word in the story :)**

 **blondjinjit, no, it will not be that kind of story**

 **And Dimitri'sGoddess, the thing that Dimitri promised Tasha is that they would remain friends. I mentioned it back in chap 17 :)**

* * *

 **One week later:**

Things are going better than I expected. After the effects of the ''best sex of is life'' disappeared, Beli-ass got back to his usual tone and behavior, not the bad one, but the nice friendly one. He isn't as happy and as chatty as he was the day after we did it, but he is okay. We fell into a routine again and I am glad that things got back to normal between us, mostly for me in fact because for him things have always been normal, but you get what I mean. I also stopped defying him. For goods. No more teasing, no more games. I don't want to give him the occasion to, as he said that night, ''be amused'' by my little pranks anymore. I have made my mind. I am here to do my job, and that is it. Nothing more. I am here to earn money, not to get involved in a doomed relationship with my boss.

But there is a constant reminder present into that office, of course, besides Dimitri, that keeps on making me relive that night over and over again and makes me want to lash at him and tell him that it was me, but I am managing to hold back as best as I can. I haven't slipped a single word yet and I am quite proud of myself. But this secret is way harder to keep than I expected. The thing is that every time I hand him a folder or the other way around, I hear the clink of my golden necklace on his expensive hand watch. But I can't seem to understand the reason he is carrying it around. Is it to remind him of the new conquest he has made? To boost up his arrogance even more? Is he annoyed by the fact that he wasn't able to find the mysterious girl or to even remember her? Maybe. He is so used to have everything he wants and for things to only go his way. Well, this time he won't put his hands ever again on the precious thing that he desires. In a month he'll find another woman and will probably throw the necklace away. It's the way thing work with him.

And I feel sorry for losing it. Guilty to be more specific. It is the only thing I have left from my grandmother. She first gave it to my mother, and when I turned eighteen, she passed it on to me. It was our family's descent and I lost it into the bed of a man I helplessly began to fall in love with but I know close to nothing about while being wasted. _Good job, Rose. It's quite a situation you have gotten yourself into._

* * *

I just started my day and I already have nothing to do. I simply wait to be called or be needed somewhere. Hell, I am so bored that I might just go to Tiffany's and buy Tasha another jewelry or something. I totally hate sitting on my ass and do nothing all day long. I hate days like this. And the fact that I get bored fast is so not helping me right now. I feel like running around the office just to get the sense that I am doing something.

Around 10:20, the witch enters the scenery. She hasn't done a lot of visiting these days, and this is the first time she comes around since the birthday party thing. So, maybe Dimitri was telling the truth about them not getting along that good lately. _But why do I even care about that?_ I shouldn't.

She is dressed fully in black, and is wearing an expensive fur coat to keep her warm. Her high heels echo on the floor and I just can't wait to see what she is going to tell me now. Is she going to tell me that I need to see a stylist? Is she going to point out the dark circles around my eyes? Who knows? It is always something new that she finds to make me feel bad about, every time she comes around. But today, by some holy miracle, she just enters Dimitri's office without throwing a word in my direction. It's just her glare that transmits me that she might get to ''deal with me'' later and that she hates me even more than the last time we saw each other. And what can I say? The feeling is very mutual.

Then, she starts to speak into that girly voice again. But only this time she seems pissed.

'Hi, _Mister_ _Belikov_! Can you tell me what _these_ are?'

I can't take this anymore. Her voice is too annoying for me to hear now. I have got enough of it. I simply get up and head to the little cafeteria from the first floor, to keep company to some other tortured souls from this building. It's my lunch break anyway. I get there and the room is full of quacking women. It's still better than hearing Tasha's false sweet voice.

 **DPOV begins**

Tasha gets into my office practically slamming the door behind her and gets straight to the subject. I am surprised to see her around in fact.

'Hi, _Mister Belikov_!' she says, obviously pissed off about something. I wonder what it is this time. 'Can you tell me what _these_ are?' she asks, revealing a small material from her purse.

I have forgotten about those; I just put them into a drawer and let them there. But how the hell did she even find that? Did she snoop around my apartment? God, I need to find a way to take my keys back from her. If I think about it, I should have done that a while ago but I guess it slipped my mind. I don't know why I gave her one of my spare keys in the first place. Oh, yeah, I remember: because she kept on asking for them for them for a month straight and I couldn't take it anymore, that's why. She can be annoyingly convincing at times.

But what did she do there anyway? The most officially, we haven't been together ever since that night into my office when we met Rose and her friend, when I was so close to doing the stupidest thing in my entire life. What right does she think she has to go to my apartment?

'I don't know. Aren't these _your_ underpants?' I lie her on an instant. I guess that I am really used to doing that. But I have no idea what else to tell her. I guess that in fact, I don't owe her any explanation, but it's too late already to change my answer.

'No, they are _not_. I am not amnesic, Dimitri. And you know I _hate_ red.' no, I don't know in fact. I don't really know much about you. And that is not in fact red. It's burgundy, and it's Rose's favorite color. She let it slip one day.

'Are you sure you didn't leave them at my place some time ago and simply forgot about them?'

'Tell me whose these are right _now_.'

'I don't know.' and this is the first time I say this and it is actually the truth. Who would have thought?

'Of course you don't know. You promised me that this won't happen again.'

'Look, Tasha, even if I would _know_ , this is none of your business.'

'What do you mean?'

'You know what I mean. We are only _friends_ now. So things like these shouldn't interest you.'

'Oh, come on Dimitri. I know how you work.'

'Okay. I'm sorry, this is my fault.' she looks at me shocked. And she has a reason to be. I didn't usually apologize to her. 'Maybe I didn't-' make myself clear enough I want to say, but she doesn't let me finish.

 _'No_ , this is _not_ your fault. It's the fault of the bitch who owns these. Tell me and I will take care of it.' and the bad thing is that she really believes that I am still going to go back to her. 'I know that she lured you somehow. Tell me who she is.'

'Tasha, _stop_ this. You need to get it in your head that you and I won't ev-'

 _'Fine_. I can find her on my own if you don't want to tell me.' she says and heads toward the door. I call after her but she doesn't come back.

This thing has gotten way too far. I can't keep on doing this back and forth thing with her. Can't she understand that between us things are over? Do I need to be more explicit than this? Plus, it wouldn't be fair for me to still be with her even if there wouldn't always be Rose on my mind. I haven't had feelings for her for a long time now and I don't understand why I kept on avoiding ending things with her. But now I know what I have to do. She will come back when she won't find what she is looking for and then, I will ''set her free''. And this time, I will make sure she understands this for goods. This is the right thing to do. She needs to go on and live her life peacefully, without me. She is better off.

 **DPOV ends**

I hang around the cafeteria for a while, getting up to date with the latest gossip around the building. I don't usually speak, because I don't really like to intrude into someone else's life and then speak around about it. And anyway, I don't have much to say about my boss. I barely know him. But instead, I'm pretty good at listening. And the things these women have to say are so damn interesting. There is always some drama going on around this building.

The lunch break is about halfway gone when Tasha enters the room, with her face flushed.

'Nobody leaves this room until someone tells me whose _these_ are!' she yells at us, like we owe her something.

Like really, who she thinks she is? If Dimitri wouldn't have been the owner of this company and she his girlfriend, she wouldn't have the courage to act this way with us. I mean, we outnumber her big time. It would be an interesting catfight to watch between us. And I will surely bring my contribution to it. I have wanted for so long to rip that hair out of her head.

She raises her hand and holds a pair of underpants. Well, damn me, but I know that pair, because it belongs to me. At least it did a week ago. Did Dimitri pass his trophy to his girlfriend so that she could hunt down his new conquest because he wasn't capable of doing so? Wow, I am surprised. Or did she find them? Well, anyway, it seems that Belikov isn't very good at hiding things. Or he doesn't want to. From what I have seen, he likes to brag.

Nobody responds to her. But what can anybody else say to her besides me?

'I am still waiting! One of you little horny _bitches_ went and twisted my man's minds! Again. I thought you understood my message the last time, but it seems that you didn't. I want to know _who_ , and I want to know it _now_!'

Twisted her man's minds? _Her man_? I believe that that is the last thing he is for her. But what do I really know? What did he say some time ago? The power of habit, no? If she would only know how much she matters to him.

She passes the dark red material in front of every one of us.

'No one? What about _you_? You are the new one. The fresh meat around the building.'

Oh, she is speaking with me. Of course I am her first target, why am I so surprised? Not that she is wrong this time though. I know I am guilty. But to hell if I would ever admit it out loud. No one will know about that thing. I will take it with me to the grave.

'Oh, but you can't _afford_ these, honey. My bad. I should pick on a real woman around here, not on a _little_ _stupid_ _girl_. Or did he buy you these to convince you to get into his bed?'

That is it. I can't take it anymore. And she called me a little girl. Again. Something inside me snaps.

'Listen here, you _bitch_! I am so _fucking_ done with you treating me like this! I have put up with your shit for too long, just because you are fucking my boss and I just wanted to keep my damn job! But I will _not_ tolerate for you to come and insult me like this anymore!'

'You can't-'

 _'Sush_! Now _I_ am speaking and you will fucking listen to me. I don't need a man to buy me fucking lingerie! I am totally capable of providing for myself, not like you who just live from getting expensive gifts from everyone, okay? And if you think that I let myself bought with a pair of fancy panties, then you are wrong!'

Images of Dimitri rubbing his fingers on the soft material between my legs pop into my head and this only makes me angrier. Angry on myself. I am aware that I am a total hypocrite right now. I am the one who slept with her man and instead of being ashamed of what I did and shrink under her gaze I go out and yell at her. But she is right in front of me and she pushed my buttons for too long, so I am taking it all out on her.

'Maybe that is how things work in _your_ world, but they sure as hell don't function the same way in mine. You said that Belikov is your _man_? Fine, so be it as you think in your delirious mind. Then why aren't you a _real woman_ and do something to keep his dick into his pants, huh!? But sincerely speaking, it would be a surprise if he _wouldn't_ go after other women while being with a woman like _you_.'

With fire in her eyes she leans over and whispers to me, but it's pointless because all the girls around are not even breathing, just to hear what she has to say to me. 'I know you are the reason he left me. He just decided he doesn't want us to be together at not even a week after he met you. I don't know what you did to him, but I tell you, it won't last. He is _mine_. He always has been and he will always be.' Some relief washes over me. At least they weren't together when we had sex, so I am not such a bad person after all. But still. Why was she coming around then?

'Yeah, of course, blame it all on me for you not being able to keep him in one place!'

Some girls around gasp at my words. At this, Tasha raises her hand to slap me, but I catch her arm and push it to one side, shaking her. She should be grateful that I stopped at this. I am capable of so much more right now.

'And it doesn't matter whose panties those are, not this time, not ever, because things are _always_ going to be like this! He has a reputation around here and I am sure that you know that. You should be stupid not to notice it! And everybody fears you, just because you think you own the place and you think you can fire everyone you want! Well, let me tell you that this won't work for too long, okay? But the thing I really don't understand is why you let him treat you like this. Can't you just go find- '

 **DPOV begins**

As Tasha wasn't coming back, I got out of the office to go look for her. I head to the only place I know I can find her, the cafeteria. She must be picking on the women in there, I am sure, and I know I need to stop her before things turn bad. But it seems that I waited for too long because there, I hear Rose yelling at someone. I open the door and the one she is screaming at is Tasha. I enter just as Tasha wants to slap Rose, but she is stopped. This thing going on right now surely isn't good.

Neither of them notices my presence and I hear the last thing Rose is saying to her. And she is right about me. But she is picking on Tasha when it is, in fact, my fault. I am the one responsible for what is happening here. I can't let Tasha get the worst of it. She has just picked on Rose, making an erroneous assumption. And Rose needs to stop. I don't really know what is the reason they are yelling at each other, but I am the one they should pick on. I am the one who did all this mess and I need to repair it somehow.

 **DPOV ends**

'Rose.' a strong accented voice makes me shut my mouth. I am anyway breathing heavily from all the yelling and I need a pause.

I turn my head and see him standing in the door frame, looking back at me and anger washes over me some more.

'Oh, _just_ _perfect_ , he has come to the rescue of his' I raise my hand and wiggle it in Tasha's direction _'something_. Whatever you are to him. You know what? I don't fucking care! Fire me if you want Belikov, but I will _not_ tolerate for this woman to insult me one more time. I have put up with her verbal assault for too long now.'

I make some steps heading towards the door. There is him, of course, and he is blocking my way. And as his eyes land on me again, his expression softens. Oh, I so don't need him to feel sorry for me. 'Rose, what happened?'

'Ask her!' I point towards Tasha. 'I don't have the patience to explain myself. I am getting out of here. Now please get out of my way.' I finish as I make my way out of the room, getting past him.

I don't care anymore. I have bottled up too many things inside since I work here and I just couldn't keep them inside for longer. I get to my office and let all of my tears fall. I am so mad and I can't help it. I need to let all this anger out somehow. It was either that or smashing everything around me.

 **DPOV begins**

After Rose leaves, the room remains silent.

'Get back to work.' I tell to the other women as I take Tasha by her hand and take her out.

We get outside the building, so that I can talk with her without anyone eavesdropping. But I don't get the chance to speak first.

'Did you hear what she said about me? About _you_? She just insulted you, Dimitri. You need to fire that shameless bitch right now!'

'She is right.'

Her expression fills with bewilderment. ' _What_? Are you out of your mind? You are _nothing_ like that.'

God, this woman has a too high opinion of me. 'Yes, I am. And maybe a lot worse. Look, Tasha. I haven't been the nicest man with you. I have done all these things to you and I don't understand why you choose not to leave me a long time ago.'

'But you-'

'Let me finish, please. I am sorry. But you deserve someone better. I am not the one for you.'

'What does this even mean?'

'It means that you are free to have a better life without me.'

'Are you _breaking_ _up_ with me?'

'We already did this a while ago Tasha.'

'But I thought that we would just take a break.'

'From what I remember, that is not what I said, didn't' I?'

'You can't be serious Dimitri.'

'I am very serious. Come on, Tasha. I think that we weren't together for a long time now, and you know this. Things between us weren't working for a while now. I am just setting you free for goods. You deserve someone better.'

'You are _insane_. I am going now and I'll let you put your thoughts in order.'

'My thoughts are in order Tasha. And between us, things are over. I would like for you to give me back my keys now.'

She seems very surprised by my request but doesn't protest. With a displeased expression on her face, she gets the keys out of her purse and gives them to me.

'Okay, I'll do whatever you want, because I don't want us to argue some more now. I don't feel like it after what that bitch did earlier.'

'I would very much you not to call Rose like that anymore. She is not responsible for anything that happened between the two of us and you know it.'

Her bewilderment only increases. 'I can't seem to make any sense of you today Dimitri. I don't know what happened to you, but this man in front of me is _not_ you. Call me when you are thinking straight again, okay?' she says and turns away.

'For the love of God, Tasha, why won't you understand? I am not going to do it.'

'Of course you will. You always do.' She says smiling all-knowing.

'Yeah, I used to. But not this time.'

'Sure honey.' She says patting my cheek. 'Oh, and fire that woman.' She says lastly.

But I won't do a thing she told me. I have ended this chapter quite some time ago. And she will understand this thing too sooner or later, either she wants it or not.

 **DPOV ends**

After a while, he enters my little room. I rise rapidly and wipe out my tears. God, I loathe crying in public. And I especially loathe him seeing me like this.

'I'll...I'll gather my things and I will leave until the end of the day, Sir. I am sorry for putting you into a situation like that.' maybe I shouldn't have said all those things in front of so many people after all.

I begin to grab all my papers and stuff from my desk and in my hurry, some of them end up on the floor. I want to bend down and pick them up, but I don't get to.

'Rose.' He puts one hand over mine. I stop and look at him. 'You don't have to leave.'

'I'm sorry, but what?'

'You just simply stated a truth. An ugly truth, but still. You are right.' he said passing a hand through his hair, looking somehow guilty. 'And Tasha won't bother you anymore. She won't be coming around here any time soon.'

I just simply stare as he gets into his office.

What did just happen?

Did he just tell me that I was right? Well, I was right, no? And did he just say that he broke up with that woman, or am I interpreting this wrong? Wow, things are getting really weird around here.

* * *

 **Okay, you need to know that crazy Tasha will be entering the scene. I don't know why, but I love depicting her as nuts. (maybe because I didn't expect her betrayal in the book and I am only projecting my feelings into the character I have built for her, who knows?) but yeah, she is going to cause a lot of trouble**

 **But let's get to happier things**

 **I have made this story one of my personal New Year's resolutions and I have decided to give more of my time to writing. Sooo, from now on, I am going to post not twice a week, but three times. It would be on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays.**

 **All your good words made me want to write more and I am so grateful to be able to share my writings with you guys!**

 **And at last, Happy New Year to all of you! May the next year be a better one!**

 **Lots of love!**


	23. Chapter 23

**Another week later:**

It is now Thursday night and as I get out of the bathroom, all ready to go to sleep, I simply state:

'Liss, this is _so_ weird, you won't believe it.' things like these always get her attention so she stops from folding some of her clothes and gives me all of her attention. 'My period is like' I take another look at the calendar in the room, just to be sure. 'six days late. I have thought it would finally come, but I am starting to get worried. This hasn't happened to me ever since high school when I had to visit touchy mister Carter, that fucking bastard. I guess that all this stress at work from these past weeks is totally affecting me. I am so tired of all the drama going around.' And I am aware that I am some kind responsible for some of it, but what can I do? I have made a decision and I am going to keep on to it. 'And I so need a break from all this shit. I am going to ask Belikov for a holiday soon, that's for sure. A loooong one. And I am going to take you with me. Maybe we'll even get to visit my parents. They have been asking me a lot about this thing lately. I guess that they just miss me _that_ much.' Even though I can't believe this thing myself. I thought that they were happy to get rid of me so that I wouldn't be making them any other problems.

As she takes the information in, Lissa's face suddenly turns white and her eyes widen. Okay, not really the reaction I expected. I was just talking about a missed period; what is that bad about it?

'Liss, I am not going to die. It's just a late period. I have already dealt with that on plenty of times, so don't worry.'

She gets up from her bed and comes my way, worry still filling her expression. 'Rose, I am going to ask you something, but please don't freak out.'

'Um, as much as you are freaking out right now? Ok, shoot. Ask me. I won't go nuts, I promise.'

'When you, um, you know, that night, with Dimitri, did you, um, use a condom?'

As the question leaves her lips, the words start ringing in my head. No, no. This _cannot_ be possible. I know where this conversation is heading and I don't want to go that way. I cannot believe this. It is _not_ happening to me. I start to cry long before I realize it and I shake my head no. What have I done?

* * *

About half an hour later, after Lissa managed to calm me down from the major panic attack I got, we ran to the first pharmacy we found open at that late hour and bought a pregnancy test.

Now, we are both into the little bathroom, me pacing left and right into the too insufficient space that is making me feel claustrophobic, and Lissa sitting on the edge of the bathtub, waiting for the result. And the waiting is doing me no good. I usually don't like waiting for things, but this time it is way worse. I am practically shaking. In fact, I haven't stopped shaking ever since I realized the shit I have gotten myself into. I still cannot believe it. This cannot happen. Not to me, and not with _him_.

'Rose, calm down.' Lissa says taking me by my hand and stopping me into the middle of my round.

'No. I won't calm down until I see only a _fucking_ line on that stick! I can't Liss. I _can't_!'

'You know, there is a possibility that you are _not_ pregnant, Rose. Plus, we should go see a doctor. It is a lot certain this way. These pregnancies test can give a false positive.' And I almost roll my eyes at her, but I stop myself just in time. I cannot take my anger on her. It is not her fault that I am that stupid.

'Liss, I _really_ appreciate the fact that you are trying to reassure me, but let's face it. I had unprotected sex with a potent, virile man, okay? And on my last check, I have no medical condition that prevents me from getting pregnant. And I am not taking the pill. I have to keep it real. There are _a lot_ of chances' maybe all the chances in the world 'that I _am_ pregnant. Let's just see what this goddamn test has to say.'

We waited for the five minutes. It is now time. I take the stick in my hand and look at it, not having the courage to turn it around.

'Do you want me to do it?'

'No, Liss. It's my mess. I'll deal with it.'

I take a deep breath in and turn the stick around. It shows two lines. Two pink, thick, clearly visible lines. My whole life is getting turned around by two fucking lines.

'Liss, tomorrow we have to go to the doctor's office.' I say, my voice already cracking as hot tears start falling from my eyes. God, how could I be so fucking careless?

She gasps. 'Oh, Rose, I'm sorry. We will find a way to get through this.' she says taking me into her embrace. And I start crying for goods, with sobs and the entire package. I am lost. I don't know what to do.

Some time later, I lay in bed, with Lissa sleeping next to me, as she didn't want to let me be alone in bed tonight. Unlike her, no matter how tired I feel, I can't sleep, as my mind wanders around. So I am making a plan for tomorrow.

First, I have to get to the doctor's office, to make sure that I really am pregnant. Even though it's pretty sure that I am. What chances do I have to have gotten a false positive? Like really, who am I kidding? I am just looking for some confirmation because I can't believe this really happened to me.

And I have to tell Dimitri all the truth, but I can't decide when. Now he really has to know everything, given the situation. How will he react is a whole other story I am not willing to imagine. Will he want to take care of this child with me? Will he think that I am lying to him? Will he dismiss me? Will he want me to take an abortion? I surely can't bring myself to get rid of this baby. I mean, it is growing inside me.

I spend some more time crying silently and caressing my belly. God, the realization that there is a baby growing in me is overwhelming.

Along the rest of the night, I make my mind. I am going to tell him first thing in the morning. He deserves to know. It's the right thing to do. We both have made this thing happen, no matter how wasted we were. We are both responsible. And we have to deal with this together, even if he wants to or not.

And maybe, just maybe, things are going to be alright.

* * *

I guess I finally fell asleep along the night as I wake up when the alarm rings. I turn it down fast enough not to wake Lissa up. I get out of the bed and do my morning routine, barely dragging myself around the apartment.

At my usual hour, I get out and head towards Belikov Enterprises, my heart clenching the whole way there. And I am constantly thinking of the best approach. How should I tell him? Should I start with that night or just tell him directly that I am pregnant? I don't know. I will just tell him the first thing that comes to my mind maybe and see how that goes.

I enter his office and wait for ten minutes for him to come. If I get out of here, I don't think that I'll ever have the courage to come back in and actually tell him. The whole time I wait, I just watch the city, leaning on the cold glass. It is so beautiful and the sight is calming me down a little.

Eventually, he comes in. I take a deep breath in and turn his way, but all my plans go to trash as I lay my eyes on him.

'Good morning, Miss Hathaway.'

'Good morning.' I mumble.

'Is there something wrong?' he immediately picks up on my state of spirit.

'I, um, I have to tell you something.'

'Fine. Say it.'

I nervously pass my hand through my hair, trying to find the proper words. _Okay, no introduction then. Just tell him!_

'I am p-' I start, but I begin to shake.

 _Pregnant!_ Say it.

His eyebrows knit. 'Rose, are you okay? You are very pale. Do you feel sick or something?'

He comes closer, puts his hands on my shoulders, drags me towards the bureau, and sits me on his chair. I close my eyes and take deep, fast breaths. This is way harder than I thought.

'I am pr-' I try to say again, but the words just stop in my throat. I cover my stomach with my hands and fist my palms, squeezing tight. _Fuck_! I hate myself for each passing second that I am not telling him this. But I can't find it in me to get these words out my mouth. It's like if I say them out loud in front of him, all of this would become true. _But he deserves to know_ my brain is yelling at me and I know that telling him is the right thing to do but I can't get my mouth to say not even this word. _Pregnant_. God, I am pregnant with his baby. I still can't make peace with this thought.

 **DPOV begins**

There is something very wrong that is happening to her. I do not know what is it, but it is clearly not doing her any good. From the first second I have seen her I picked on to something. She is never like this. As she is sitting in front of me, she is shaking from all her joints, her eyes are wide open and I can see that she has been crying because her eyes are still red. She watches me like she is scared of me. Did I do something and I am not aware of it? I hope to God not. I have already messed up some things around and this will surely not help my cause.

But she told me that she has something to tell me and I am dying to know what it is. It seems to be important. But what is she so afraid of? Of my reaction?

As she is trying to speak, her voice sounds like she is on the verge of crying. I have never seen her scared like this. It kills me to see her like this. All I want to do is to take her into my embrace and tell her that no matter what is happening, everything will be alright, that I will take care of everything. I just want to comfort her, to keep her close to me, but I am afraid of how she is going to react to that. She seems way too scared of me and I am thinking that she would react badly if I would try something like this.

Instead, I resume to a little gesture that I hope would calm her down a little. I bend so that I get to her level. I move slowly and place my palms on her gripped fists, managing to unclench them and take her shaking hands into mine. She doesn't pull them away, thank God. I start walking my thumbs up and down her soft skin and the shaking diminishes. Good, she is getting a little calmer now. I speak to her into my softest voice, trying to understand what is wrong here.

 **DPOV ends**

He is now squatting in front of me, holding my hands and looking me straight into my eyes. God, why does he have to be so human now? If he would only know what I am not telling him, I don't think he would be as nice to me. I surely don't think I deserve this treatment from him.

'Roza, what's wrong?' God, not that name again. Not now, not ever, please. 'Tell me.' Okay, now I really have to do it. It's now or never.

'I am pr-' the words just at the back of my teeth. No, I can't do this. I move my gaze up, avoiding his eyes and speak. 'I am pr-one to digestive infections. It is something that runs into my family. Even my grandparents have it. And I have been feeling sick for the last couple of days. And I can't eat anything. And I just puke everything I eat. I can't drink anything too. And my stomach hurts all day. And I wanted to ask for a free day today because I want to go to the doctor's office to see what is wrong with me because I can't seem to get rid of this thing.' I say very fast, the lies pouring out of my mouth like never before.

'And why do you look so frightened?' because I am afraid that you will see right through my lies.

'I don't know, I just panicked I guess.' I laugh-cry and wipe some of my tears away. I need to get back to normal right now.

'What, you thought I won't let you go? It is your health we are talking about. You can take off as many days as you need, Rose. I'll manage things on my own.'

I just begin to cry again. I am so weak. I couldn't find the strength to tell him. What the hell? I usually just let people know things, no matter what. _Yeah Rose, but now things are different, aren't they?_

He gets up and gets me a glass of water that I gulp mindlessly.

'Here, drink this and calm down, okay? Don't cry.' He gets the hair that has glued to my face out of the way and I tilt my head up to look at him. 'It's going to be alright. Would you want me to take you to the doctor's office?'

'No!' in a second I get my shit together and get up. 'No, I'll get there myself. My friend will go with me. Thank you. I'll leave now. Have a good day.' I continue as I run my way out the door, not giving him the chance to say anything else.

I was so close. What would he have said when we would have gotten to the gynecologist?

But maybe like that he would have found out if not from me.

 **DPOV begins**

I remain behind, looking stupidly as she leaves the office. I didn't even get the chance to say something else. Why do I have the impression that she is not telling me the truth? I will surely not let this thing pass. I will somehow get to the bottom of this. Maybe she did some wrong and is afraid of how I will react, but God, she should know that I could never get angry at her. I really would like her to stop believing that I am a bad man. But nothing I do lately seems to be able to change her opinion about me. And I am rapidly running out of ideas of how to get her to get close to me.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

I don't want to speak with anyone, so I try to take my mind of this entire thing going around. As I wait to get in at the doctor's office, I read over and over again a bunch of pamphlets about pregnancy. I don't remember almost anything from what I read, but one sentence stuck to my mind. ''Depending on where you are in your cycle, there is about a 20 percent chance of getting pregnant from intercourse without a condom.'' Yeah, this if I would ever get this lucky. But 80 percent is quite much, no?

I put the brochure down and look around the room, seeing a bunch of pregnant ladies along with their partners, waiting for a control and then, as my eyes wander some more, I lay my gaze on a woman, who must be almost ready to give birth because her belly is huge. I take a look at her hand and I don't see a wedding ring and she has come in here single. I know that there could be a possibility that her partner just couldn't come with her today, but still, I can't keep on not imagining myself in her position.

'Liss, I can't do this.' I say turning to her as I am constantly moving my feet up and down while I sit on the cold metal chair from the waiting room.

'Rose' she says as she takes my hand into hers 'I know that this must be difficult for you. Hell, I don't know what I would do in your position. But I'll never leave your side. I am here for you, no matter what.'

'Miss Rosemarie Hathaway!' the nurse calls.

Oh God, here we go. I get up and enter. I sit on a chair and talk to the doctor. After he explains me some things, he puts a tourniquet on my hand and takes some blood. Then, he tells me that the blood test will be ready in an hour.

We go outside and take a walk while we wait.

'Did you tell him?'

'What do you think? I couldn't. But if this test comes out positive, I have to tell him. I will find a way. I'll write him a fucking letter or something. He deserves to know the truth, right? Even though he is a man that simply fucks everything that he lays his eyes on. You know, I was there, just under his nose. What could I _expect_? For him to become another person overnight and suddenly fall in love with me and want to have a family with me after he gets me knocked up while he is wasted on like two liters of vodka? God, I am so stupid. How could I be so fucking careless?'

* * *

An hour later we are back into the doctor's office. I am waiting to hear five final words.

But instead, I hear six.

'What?'

'You are not pregnant, Miss Hathaway.'

I almost choke on air. 'Come again, please?'

'You just have a little infection in your organism. That messed up with your chemical balance and made the pregnancy test go positive.'

This moment is the first time since yesterday when I breathe without having something that presses on my chest.

'Oh, thank God. Thank you!'

I never thought that I'll ever live the day to get happy by hearing that I have an infection.

'Then why did my period not come?'

'There could be a lot of factors. Are you under stress lately?' oh, boy. You have no idea.

And I am definitely going to get on the pill. I can't risk getting into this situation again. I was so close to getting a heart attack when I saw those two fucking lines.


	24. Chapter 24

On Monday I get back to work. Without an unexpected pregnancy to worry about every single second of the day, I had all weekend to completely calm down and get my shit together. I can say that I have come back to my past self.

Thinking about it now, I am really glad that I didn't tell Dimitri the truth about us. What would have been the point? Like that, I would have just stirred the pot for nothing. But I don't know how much time I can keep this from him. In only two weeks, a lot of things happened around here and it is becoming harder and harder for me to keep this thing a secret. Plus, I know me and I am afraid that one day something else will happen and I would simply slip and let it all out and I surely don't want that thing to happen. And if I keep on hanging around, he might remember something else or just realize it somehow. After all, he is not stupid and I did a not such a good job at not letting incriminatory things behind. All he has to do is to link them to me one day. And I get the feeling that that day is going to come soon. I really don't want him to know. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he brought me into his bed. I want to leave this place with what dignity I have left. Yeah, you heard it right. I want to leave this place because it is for the better.

So from today on, I am officially on job hunting. As soon as I find something, whatever satisfying job that can help me provide for myself, I can get out of here and forget about everything that happened. It was a pleasurable night, but I need to get over it. I know that it cannot happen again. And after this, he can go back to torturing other women that will take my place and do whatever he wishes in bed with them. I just have to keep this secret from his as best as I can for some time longer. I just hope that not for too long though.

* * *

As usual, I enter his office at six sharp, all ready for hard work. When he sees me, he seems very surprised. It's like he didn't expect to see me. Hell, somehow I am surprised myself that I really came back to work. I have considered a couple of times these two days not to come back, but I thought that leaving all of a sudden would make him ask himself some questions. Or worse. To make him ask me some questions I don't really have an answer for.

'Feeling better already?' he asks excitedly. Oh, so this is what it was about.

'Yes, I am. Thank you for asking, Sir. The weekend was enough for me to get better.'

'I'm glad to hear that, Miss Hathaway. So, what is the schedule for today?'

'Just an appointment with the new investor's men at one. We had to move it a little later because something happened with their flight, I don't really have all the details about the delay, but I managed to get the big conference room booked for then.' He nods, a little smile being at the corner of his lips. Okay, it may be weird for me to feel this proud of myself when he is appreciating me silently, but I like that slight glint I see in his eyes when I do a good job. All I need is a pat on the head and I would get to be a good dog. Yeah, maybe I am that broken in my head. 'Besides that, your whole day is free, Sir. Oh, and I prepared all the papers you need for today's meeting. I just printed them earlier. Should I bring them now to you to check them or should I just put them into the conference room for later?'

'When?'

'Pardon me?'

'When did you have the time to do that?'

'On Saturday.' In fact, I dragged that chore all weekend long, trying to keep myself busy. I swear that I have never typed a thing that slowly in my entire life.

'Why?'

Well, because I needed something to do in order to get my thoughts away from you mister, that's why. It's better to be drowning in papers than to keep on reliving every moment in which I thought you might feel the same for me but you only wanted to pick me up for a one night's stand. But it is not his fault that I am just seeing things where there are not any. For my own good, I really think I should stop misinterpreting things.

But I can't tell him the real reason. 'What do you mean why? Because this investor is very important for this company, and I know you needed them for today's presentation, Sir, that's why. And I needed to make them on Friday anyway, but since I got a free day on Friday, I had to take care of them later.'

'But you were sick.'

Where does all this sudden concern for me come from? On a usual day he would just throw an ''I don't care'' at me when I would have an excuse for something I didn't do, and now he is the one giving me excuses not to do some things? Like, some important things, not just some usual day to day shit. There is something fishy going around and I don't like not knowing what.

'No, I wasn't _that_ sick. I took some pills that made me feel better and by Saturday morning everything was already good.' I need to keep on to my lying now that I started this shit. And if he keeps on asking more questions, I might need to add more lies to the story. But God, I so hope that I won't get caught in them.

He smiles at me and nods.

'You should have rested instead, Miss Hathaway. Those were your free days. I would have managed to deal with this thing on my own. But thank you. I really appreciate the effort.' And again I see that little glint in his eyes and I want to make a pirouette around the office. Yeah, I am surely and slowly losing my minds over this man. 'Bring me the papers, please. I'd like to take a look at them before the meeting.'

Okay, leaving aside how much I enjoy it, this thing is weird. Did he hit his head or something? Did the Christmas ghosts visit him earlier than planned or something? He is acting waaay to nice with me all of a sudden, and the fact that I don't know the reason is bothering me very much. Did he realize it was me that night and now tries to make a move or something? God, why am I even playing this game with him? I should have been long gone from here but I keep on messing around and fooling myself with every misinterpretation of his gestures. There is nothing going around, I am just imagining things. And I need to stop before things get bad.

I get out and back in with the stack of papers. As I hand them to him, I take a look at his wrist, as I always do ever since after that night. No necklace. Wow, not even a whole month passed as I first predicted. It took him just two weeks to get over that. So, maybe he didn't find out and gave up on trying. _Just like a normal person would, Rose_. What was I expecting? For him to have a sudden revelation and come running into my arms? _No, really Rose. Make up your fucking mind! Do you want him to know or not?_ And honestly, I have no idea. Some days I do, some days I don't.

And now my necklace is lost forever. What am I going to tell my mother? I am surely going to get a lecture about being responsible and having to take care of my family's possessions the first time I'll meet her. And she will surely enjoy every second of it. But the damage is already done. There is nothing I can do to retrieve the necklace from him. Unless I decide to tell him the truth, of course.

Things would have been so much easier if I just didn't take that glass of alcohol from him that night. It's funny how one small thing can lead to so much shit. I had one job. To stay away from him. How hard could it be, right? _Obviously_ , harder than I first expected because I failed lamentably.

* * *

When the meeting was about to start, he told me that I didn't really need to come because they were going to talk mostly in Russian and that I wouldn't understand very much. If he would need me, he would send someone for me. I was more than surprised to hear that.

The last meeting he had with the same men, about two months ago, he practically dragged me in there with him and let me get bored out of my mind while, from across the room, he constantly took glances in my direction, enjoying seeing me suffer. I was about to tell him that he should have taken a picture because it would last longer, but I didn't get the chance. I didn't really want to snap at him into a room full of people who were respecting him. I preferred to keep the teasing battle more private. Now, I prefer not to have that battle at all. It would be too risky.

That time too I made myself busy with drawing some comics in all which he ended up dead, and he kept on trying to see what I was doing, but to my luck, he was kind of far and managed to see just half of one my ugly ass drawings that was trying to depict him as satan. And to my most luck, he didn't see the resemblance between the two of them because I have like zero talent, and after the meeting, he just made fun of it, asking me how old I was.

Ah, such good times we had. Now I have to be completely stiff around him, trying not to let any stupidity leave my smartass mouth or let my hands do what I really want to do.

Well, I was not going to complain about him not making me attend that meeting. If he was going to leave me alone, I didn't mind at all. No one wants to hear some men speaking a language you have no knowledge about. Just on special occasions. Like when _he_ is the one speaking. Everything he says has this sexiness about it, even though he might as well be reading his shopping list. Sometimes I wonder how it would be for him to whisper to me that sweet word again. Or to call me Roza all day long. _Stop that! This is not healthy at all Rose_.

* * *

The time passed and after about two hours he finally came back. Yeah, I would have surely ended up clawing my eyes off out of boredom.

'Well, how did the meeting go, Sir? Are they going to invest?'

'Not yet.'

Well, he seems somehow pissed. Hell, I'd be more pissed than he is right now if I would work my ass off for so much time and someone would just flip me off. Again. Who the hell this important investor is anyway? Who he really thinks he is after all to play with us like this? And why is he so pretentious? We did everything perfectly, until the last detail; I personally took care of that. What didn't he like this time?

As he reaches for his door, he suddenly stops and turns my way, a sudden revelation seeming to pass his brain. Oh, he has some great idea of how to put this investor on his good behavior, I am sure of it.

'Miss Hathaway, do you have something important to do next week?'

Oh, so are we going to go back to working late again? This is his master plan? Well, I should have seen it coming. The last time the investor turned us off, this man practically kept me captive into this office. I barely got home to catch some hours of sleep. But you know what? The money I will get for my additional hours is going to come in handy. If I can't find another job soon, I will quit and survive with the money I set aside for my bad days, until something better appears. This is the best plan I have right now.

'No, Sir. I have no plans for next week.'

'Fine. You may want to start packing because I am taking you with me to Russia next week.' This is totally unexpected.

'Wait, _what_?'

'I am going to personally meet our next investor, no more middlemen. And I am taking you with me.'

'But, but… What should _I_ do there?'

'Accompany me, Miss Hathaway. Aren't you my secretary?'

'Yes I am, but I can't-'

'Make sure you pack enough for about five days, Miss Hathaway.' he said at last and entered his office.

* * *

' _Five_ days, Lissa! Five! It's close to a whole week! How am I going to survive to be 24/7 with that man? I can barely restrain myself sometimes from strangling his neck when I see his face for some hours a day! You know he drives me insane. Oh, what if I speak in my sleep and he finds out? You know I do that from time to time. And hear this. Lately, he is being nice. Too nice. Why is he being nice? What is he after? He surely wants to get something from me.'

'You should really stop being that paranoid honey. Maybe he is like that with everyone and you just don't want to accept it.' Yeah, he treats everyone nicely until they push his buttons, but I can feel that with me, things are different. And I kind of guess why. 'And it's not exactly 24/7 Rose. Unless you plan on _sleeping_ with him again. Or in the same room, at least.' she says barely keeping a smile appear on her face.

Yeah, the shit I got myself into might be funny from her point of view, but for me, it is so fucking frustrating to be so close to him and not be able to do anything. There is this constant battle in me whether I should let myself feel the things I feel for him or to run away from him as far as I possibly can. I didn't come to a conclusion yet.

'Oh, so this is funny now? Because for me it surely isn't. And you know what I mean so cut the crap.'

'Yeah, sorry. You know I can't help myself at times. I swear that I am getting some of Christian's behavior lately. But why didn't you just say no?'

'Oh, so don't you think I _tried_? But I just wasted my breath. It seems that my excuses weren't good enough. He just told me that I first said that I am free and asked me where all of those new duties came from all of a sudden. And of course that I didn't know what to respond to this! I have already scratched my brain out just to come up with those lame excuses. And when I couldn't answer, he told me that I am going with him and that it is final. And he even served me the ''Maybe the change of decor will do you some good to your stomach.'' What could I have said to him about that? That in fact there is nothing wrong with me and I just thought I was carrying his baby? And then he would have asked me how did that happen and hell, wouldn't I have had some good explanations to give? So, yeah. I am doomed to go on this trip.'

'But maybe it won't be that bad.'

'Yeah, _sure. It won't be that bad._ Just me and him, alone into a cold county for five days. And when there won't be anything to keep us warm what will happen? I can't do this.'

'Then there must be something we can do to help you avoid leaving.'

'I know! Lissa, I will need your help.'

'With what?'

'We need to get outside first. Then, you get into the car and drive pretty fast in front of the building. At some point, I'll come out of nowhere and jump in front of the car. We will make it seem like an accident. No one will know anything, and you will not get into trouble. I'll even state that it was my entire fault. I wasn't paying attention while crossing or something, I'll come up with something credible. And I will be safe too because you are a nurse and you can give me first aid right on spot. But be careful please not to hit me too hard, okay?' She frowns and tries to stop me. 'No, no. Listen to me until the end. This is the perfect plan. Just make sure that you hit me into the legs so that I'll need some cast. I would prefer to be the left foot because I already have some pain in the right, but it is not mandatory. Like this, Dimitri won't be able to drag me to Russia with him. Or he will? He may do this, from how I know him. Yeah, he would. I mean, a broken leg wouldn't stop him. Liss, tell me what is the most noninvasive way to get hospitalized? Only for a few days. Like this, he will surely-'

'Rose, stop it. I will not do that. Ever. Are you out of your mind?'

'Well, maybe I am. But I am pretty desperate right now.'

'You have to do this, there is no escape. Oh, there may be something you could do to get away.'

'What? Will it hurt?'

'No, it won't hurt. Maybe just your ego a little. Buuuut,' she says rounding her eyes around the room. 'you could quit.'

'No! I won't quit until I find another job. You know I need the money.'

'You don't really need it, I already told you that-' I throw her a glance. I so don't want to go back on living on her money and this is final. 'Fine. Then, you have to go. There is no other way out.'

'I so don't like it when you use logic on me.'


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey again! Here goes my Monday update.**

 **Enjoy :)**

* * *

Before I go, I take one last look in the mirror, barely being able to keep my eyes open and I ask myself once more how I got in this shit and how I am going to survive it. But I already know the answer to the first question and the answer to the second one is a complete mystery to me, so I let it go for now and resume to checking if I resemble a human being in this moment. It is a more important matter now.

I am wearing a pair of black loose jeans, but not that loose because they round perfectly on my ass, some cute boots that I hope won't be a pain in the ass along the way, and a comfy well-fitted green sweater, because first, I don't want to bother with some office clothes the whole flight, and second, I still want to look nice. Well, as much as I don't want to admit it out loud, I still want to look good because I know that Dimitri would see me. In fact, there won't be anyone important else there to see me except Dimitri because we are flying solo. No one from the office would accompany us to Russia and this only makes things harder for me. But, for some twisted reasons in my head, I want him to like what he sees. And I must say that I am proud of my combination, made at this very early hour. I guess I found my hidden talent: I can manage to look good anytime.

So, here we go. Five whole days with Dimitri into a country I can't manage by myself that easily if something bad happens and I need to get away from him. How am I going to survive this? How will I be able to keep my mouth shut and my hands to myself, only God knows. I need some kind of a miracle.

'Lissa? I am ready to go! Are you coming to say goodbye or what?'

She comes running from our bedroom, with half of her makeup done and practically jumps on me, putting her hands around me and if she could, I am sure that she would have put even her legs around me, but the last time she did that it didn't end well and we decided not to do jumps like these too often. We are keeping them for special occasions that require falling on the ground induced by too much happiness.

'Of course I am! And I am going to miss you so much!'

'Yeah, _suuure_. Are you going to miss me while you kiss Christian or while you, you know- Ouch! What was that for?'

'The punch was for talking bullshit. And this' she says squeezing me until I can't breathe normally 'is because I'll really miss you weirdo. Take care, okay?' she pulls away and takes a look up and down on me and I think she likes too what I pulled here, but then she raises an eyebrow and I can see a question forming in her eyes. I guess I know what she is thinking, she knows me best, but I try to distract her attention from the reasons I do things lately.

'I can't promise to behave, you know? But I know the exact person to whom you have to say to take care. But this means that you'll have to come with me in order to deliver personally the message to him.' It's easier to act like I am finding this thing funny rather than tragic.

'Oh, Rose. You'll be just fine, trust me. And you'll see, this week will pass in a blink of an eye.'

'I sure hope so.'

'Will you bring me a cute souvenir?'

'Is the head of Belikov on a silver plate cute enough? Or should I bring you his to-' another punch. _'Gosh_! Okay, you don't have to be violent. I understand, you have your own man's. I'll get you something else. But you don't know what you are losing, because I've seen it.' I say winking and get out the door.

* * *

I get out of the cab and it seems that everyone is waiting for me as I see four darkened silhouettes just next to the jet. Am I late? I take a look at my phone and it seems that I am in fact three minutes early. Well, it's not my fault everyone arrived way too early; I won't listen to them if they decide to complain. It's 5 a.m., people! How can you be so early at this hour anyway? I could barely drag myself out of the bed this morning.

Dimitri approaches me and as I see what he is wearing, I can't help myself.

' _Howdy_.' I greet him with a grin on my face and as the words leave my mouth I realize what stupidity has left it. But you need to understand that I can't let the occasion to fuck with him pass. It is too tempting.

He decides to let it pass, thank God and even smiles a little, that small thing already making my day. 'Hello, Rose.' And he takes the luggage from me.

'Thank you, Mister Belikov. But you don't have to-' and I want to retrieve my luggage but he doesn't let me touch it.

'It's OK. And call me Dimitri, Rose. We are not at work.' He reminds me for the thousandth time. But calling him by his first name would mean that there is some familiarity between the two of us, a familiarity that I am not really ready to accept and that I try to avoid at all costs because I know that it could only lead to some other things I am not sure I want. But I can't really explain this to him. He would think I am out of my minds. So I must comply with his request.

And we walk towards his private jet. Yeah, I know; the cliché part again; but seriously, considering how much money he has, it would be strange for him _not_ to have one. And this time I can't complain, I am really grateful in fact. At least I won't have to share the seat in the economy class with some sweaty old man who might want to touch me on my special places and to have to start up a fight that might lead to me having to be taken somewhere else on the plane because I am ''disturbing'' the tranquility of the flight with my throwing myself at him, my yelling and bad language (it happened to me when I was 19 while visiting my uncle and I so don't want to repeat the experience), while Dimitri travels into first class eating caviar and sipping champagne or whatever rich people do there. And as he is walking just next to me, I take my time to sneakily look at him and check him out. And I must admit that what I see amazes me.

He is not wearing a suit, and this is a first for me. But damn, I think this man is able to make anything look good on him. Adam's suit especially; take my words for it. Sometimes I think that someone might need to reconsider David and replace him with a statue made after Dimitri. Really, no bullshit. This man has the body of a god, with all those toned muscles and that six pack, ah, and those arms of his, oh, and his long fingers brushing on my skin…God! Some shivers pass down my spine just by remembering his naked body on mine and the way our skins touched that night.

But leaving the Dimitri naked sight apart, now he is wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a simple black T-shirt with a round neck, tight in all of the right places. Goddammit, his chest looks so good that I keep considering throwing myself at him or not. _No Rose, stop it_. _And get that image of him wet in that T-shirt out of your head now!_ Oh, and that water dripping from his hair, making its way down on his neck, God. _Stop it_!

Okay, getting back to reality. His hair is again untied and his mahogany strands are currently waving backward along with the bottom of his brown leather duster, as the wind is blowing lightly. Yeah, that is something new too. I have never thought that he would wear a duster. But again, this piece looks like it was specially made for him and suits him perfectly, only adding to his sexiness. He looks like he just got out of a western movie and I can't help myself not to imagine him riding on a horse, coming to my rescue.

'Good morning Miss Hathaway, Mister Belikov.' says someone and ends my reverie.

I move my attention into the direction of the speaker and I find a nice looking smiling woman, being maybe in her mid-thirties, and her pettiness reminds me of my mother. I guess that she is the flight attendant that is going to take care of us. Along with her are two other men with perfect straight positions, dressed in black impeccable uniforms that greet us too by nodding their heads lightly. Oh, you know what would be really nice right now? To see Dimitri dressed into one of these uniforms. Or a military one. _That_ would be hot as fuck and just by thinking about it I get little shivers on my spine once more. But now, if I seriously think about it, he might have actually been into the army. Wasn't or isn't that mandatory in Russia? Well, considering the discipline and control over himself that this man has and the way he gives orders left and right, it's not surprising at all. He might have turned into a great general or something if he would have taken that path. And I so would have liked to be his disobedient subordinate. I _love_ power games and I get the feeling he would be the suitable person to play them with. But that is a too risky territory I am not ready to explore.

We get on the plane and take our seats. The people around the plane go and do their job. In only ten minutes the plane takes off, and we get the chance to see the sun rising. The way the warm colors of the sun breaking through the darkish blue sky as we make our way above the clouds is simply breathtaking and I can't get my eyes off the window.

Then, as we get into a straight line above the cotton-like clouds, I take a look around the plane, having the time to observe everything better now. It has that expensive air, that's for sure. The captain's cabin is right behind me after you pass a small hallway that has some little rooms on the sides, where the flight attendant is spending her time. Dimitri and I are sitting on two out of the four grey leather chairs. He is facing the captain's cabin, sitting on the right side of the plane, and I choose to sit on the other side, facing the rear. It's the safest place I could find in here. Far enough from him so that there won't be the risk of touching or having to look at each other too much. I need to keep in mind that I have to keep my distance from him as best as I can.

Past our chairs, towards the back of the plane, on the left side is a fancy modern table, or maybe a bar, I can't tell, made from some shiny wood and steel, the materials curving themselves against the wall. Facing it, there is a big comfortable looking sofa, made from the same leather as the seats. What I like most in here are the subtle blue accents that perfectly contrast with the light grey: one part of the wall facing me has this color, some pillows on the sofa are having blue and white patterns on them and the windows are encircled by some kind of light blue halo. I am simply amazed. I even think I could live here for some time. I don't think I would miss a thing. It seems to have everything you need. Including a man to do pleasurable things with. _Rose, get that shit out of your mind now!_ But really. How can you say no to this tempting offer?

A few minutes after I mentally slap myself for wanting to do Dimitri on the spot, the nice looking woman comes around and asks us if we want something to drink or eat. We both resume to some coffee as it is so early in the morning, and the woman brings us some that have some cute patterns drawn on the thick foam that make me feel sorry for having to drink it.

At some point, as we drink our coffees, Dimitri gets a book out of his bag and starts to read. Not that it would be hard for me to believe that he reads; he really seems the type who is doing it for fun; but that is not any book. It is a western. Like, really? First the duster and now this novel? What next? Is he going to put on some cowboy boots and play the sheriff with me? (just to be clear, it's not like I would really mind it) A sarcastic smile appears on my face and I turn my head towards the window in order not to be seen. But it seems that this man doesn't miss a thing, because he asks me:

'Is there something funny?'

'Oh, nothing, just-' I'd better not tell him what I think. It might upset him and I don't want him to be grumpy all the way to Russia.

'Just what?' he pushes the things forward.

Eh, well, the damage is already done. He is not the one to let things pass easily.

'It's just the fact that I didn't think you would be the kind of person to wear dusters and read western novels, that's all.'

'And why is that?' of course he wants to know why.

Um, because cowboys have some kind of code of honor, comrade. And you seem to break that code from time to time, you know? You are nice for some time and act like a real cowboy and seem human, and then you go around and do shitty things to or with women. Which way you want to put it. It doesn't really make sense for me. Maybe I am just judging him wrongly. But I kind of doubt it. But again, what do I really know? Let the man enjoy his things.

Instead of my long argument, I resume to shaking my shoulders and adding a simple ''I don't know. Just like that.' But he is not that pleased with my response and I get the vibe that he might ask me something else. 'How long the flight is going to be?' I ask, changing the subject.

'About ten hours.' Phew, I got away.

'Oh, wow.' Ten hours of me being here with him. Well, at least if something goes wrong I hope they have some parachutes that might come in handy for me, otherwise, I am totally fucked. 'I didn't think it will take us _that_ long to get there.' I didn't bother with researching things. 'And I didn't bring anything to help me pass the time. Well, I guess I'll just watch the clouds then.' Or sneakily admire you. Like that, I won't ever get bored.

'Would you want to watch some movies?'

'That would be _such_ a great idea. But where?'

He rises, comes next to my seat and presses some buttons on the left arm. The little wood table between the chairs opens and reveals some kind of tablet.

'Wow, this is awesome!' I exclaim really impressed by the technology this plane has and he just smiles in response as he takes his seat.

I scroll down the library and I stumble over a lot of western movies. A smile appears again on my face but he doesn't question me again about it. Of course he watches western movies too. I should have seen that coming. But I resume to watching Shutter Island in the first instance. I plug my earphones and silently watch the movie. After this ends, I search for another movie and decide to give a western a try and press play on the one most watched one in this library, thinking that it might be one of his favorites. But it seems that my lack of sleep is making its presence felt, and even though I drank a coffee earlier, I fall asleep with my head propped on the window next to me about halfway through the second movie.

 **DPOV begins**

There is this sound like a purring that I hear all of a sudden. Where does it come from? I get my head out of my book and take a look around. It's her. She fell asleep and now she is lightly snoring, her head leaning to one side, propped against the window, without anything in between to support it. She sounds exactly like a kitten, the sound getting out of her slightly open plump lips. _God, I would like so much to kiss them._ And she looks cute again, her wonderful messy hair being all over the place.

But it's unusual for me to see her so tranquil, to watch her sleep. On a usual, she would be excited about some little thing she has seen or heard or on the move, getting in or out of my office, always ready for action, her heels clicking rapidly on the floor. She can't stay in one place for too long, it is not in her nature. And I adore this love for life within her. She seems to enjoy every little thing she finds.

But the position she is in seems very uncomfortable and she might get her feet numb as she is sleeping with them pulled under her. Sometimes I see her back at the office pulling a little face when she is getting up from a chair and I guess that she has some problems from all that sitting down or from those high heels she started wearing some time ago just to tease me, so I'd better take her to the sofa so that her back won't hurt even more. It's the least I can do now.

I get her headphones out, careful not to wake her up and gently pick her up. As I get my arm under her legs and lift her off the seat, she twists and her arms encircle my chest, her mouth letting out a sleepy growl. I stop midway, getting a little scared of what might happen if she would wake up. I just hope she won't misinterpret this and react badly. But to my luck, she doesn't wake up, just continues to breathe steady, her warm breath finding its way towards the skin on my neck and just this little thing is enough to drive me insane, along with her scent. I haven't gotten this close to her in a while and she seems to have changed her perfume and now I can only feel it better, but this one seems to suit her better. It is a sweet, crisp fragrance. It smells fruity, but not sugary like all fruit-based perfumes do. It resembles cherry, but it is sharper and I would bet my money on currants. And there are some flowers mixed in, from which I can only identify lilies. Whatever the mix, there is something very appealing to it and it got me addicted in a second, the perfume perfectly blending with her own scent. It comes out as sweet, but not too sweet, having some sharper notes, just like her.

Being a little drunk on her, I take her to the sofa and try to make her let go of me. But as I do that, she moves again and squeezes me tighter instead of letting go.

'Let the pillow alone, Liss.' She mumbles, seeming threatening. 'It's _mine_.' And she mumbles something about some cowboy too, but I don't quite understand everything she says, but I guess it is not important because it must be something about the movie she was watching when she fell asleep. I didn't know she speaks in her sleep. But it is maybe something derived from the tiredness.

Okay, what do I do now? She is practically attached to me and I don't want to wake her up. It would be a weird situation, I guess. Not for me, but maybe for her to find herself encircled on me.

So the best solution I find is to sit on the sofa with her and to wait for the favorable moment when she will finally let go of me. After I sit and stop moving, she accommodates her position, snuggling at my chest, gluing her cheek on me and she pulls her legs up, getting me pinned against the sofa with her tiny body. With her so close to me, I can't help myself and I place a little kiss on her forehead and she lets out a small sigh. Gosh, she looks so beautiful from this distance. I pass my hand through her soft dark waves and it feels amazing. I have always wanted to do this, wanted to know how is it to touch her without her pulling away from me. And as she dreams in my arms, I keep on playing with her hair.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

 **Rose2399, the truth will come out sometime along this trip, so stay tuned :) Hope it won't seem too much**

 **Dimitri'sGoddess, you will see later what happened with the necklace**

 **And yeah, Magilineals, you are right. But before things go down, they will get up, up, up :) I promise lots of tension*wink***

 **Lots of love!**


	26. Chapter 26

'Rose? Rose.' someone is shaking me lightly and speaking into a low voice.

'Hm? What, Liss? Is it morning already? Am I late again? Shit, please tell me that I am not.'

I open my eyes and I see Dimitri's face just next to me. Wow, this is not who I was expecting. It's waaaay better. Do you know on how many occasions I have dreamt of waking up to this? At his sight, I almost let the stupid smile that wants to get on my lips appear, but it gets covered by a stray yawn. Then, I remember where I am and things make sense. Did we get there that fast? It surely didn't take as much as I initially predicted.

He chuckles. 'No, Rose. We landed.'

'Yeah, sure.' I say as I get up on my butt, trying to wipe away the sleep from my eyes and palpate my face sneakily, looking for sleep marks left by this sofa. I just hope I don't look bad right now. He is so close to me and things are really easy to observe from this distance.

But it's so nice to see him the first when you wake up, especially that little smile he has on his lips in this very second, produced probably by my little after sleep confusion. I would never get tired of that. How could I? But wait a second. Why was I laying down? Wasn't I on my seat when I fell asleep? I hope I didn't slip and fell on the floor. I check my surroundings and find out that I ended up on the sofa. But does this mean that he carried me here? Ah, man. I wish I was awake when he did that. I would have surely enjoyed the shit out of it.

And what is this heavy thing on me? I get my hands from under it and feel the coldish leather of the outside. Oh, it's Dimitri's duster. God, his smell is so strong on this thing it is intoxicating. Can I lay down for five more minutes, please? I just want to bury my nose into this coat and never leave that place. It's the best Dimitri substitute I can think of.

But instead of that, I hand him back the duster. 'Um, thanks for...this. It's really warm.' Just like you.

 _Really Rose? Couldn't you come up with a better thing to say? It's warm? That sounds stupid._

No, I couldn't, okay? I can't really think straight when he is so close to me.

'No problem. Are you ready to go?'

I nod, get up, stretch my stiff muscles a little and head towards the exit, him letting me lead the way, just as usual. A coldish breeze greets my sleep-heated body as I get outside, but it isn't as bad as I thought Russia would be. This isn't the arctic wasteland I was expecting to see. Okay, maybe my stereotypes have gone a little too far this time. It is, in fact, quite an enjoyable weather outside, perfect for a long walk. But not at this hour. Outside it is dark already. I take out my phone and do the math. It's around eleven in the evening around here. Well, I hope that I'll manage to fall asleep when we get to the hotel, otherwise tomorrow is going to be a total bitch with the jetlag and all.

Like when we embarked, Dimitri doesn't let me carry my luggage as we get to the car that is going to take us to the hotel. He's such a gentleman when he wants; I can't argue with that. This car we get into is also a Rolls Royce and it has a driver this time. Well, this man just likes his stuff expensive. But I am too sleepy to care. I don't even try to make conversation; I simply watch the town as we make our way to the hotel. We pass numerous lit up streets and it seems that we are getting closer and closer to the Red Square, the only thing I know and recognize from Moscow.

The car pulls up in front of one of the most beautiful buildings I have ever seen in my humble life. It is perfectly lit up, the little searchlight strategically placed at the bottom of the building doing it a lot of justice, pointing out all the good architecturally stuff. And it practically screams ''I am expensive'', just by being outside of it. I can only imagine how the interior looks. Probably better. But I am sure that every cent spent here is worth it. If not for anything else, but for the view you get, the Red Square being the first thing you can lay your eyes on from almost every window here.

I especially love the combination of old and new when it comes to the architecture of this building. It seems to have some 19th century vibes that are perfectly completed by modern glass elements and fancy lighting that only enhance its beauty. Who came out with this idea deserves a lot of money, this is sure. I have never thought before that it is possible to fall in love with a building, but here I am, my eyes full of admiration. And if the outside looks like this, I can't wait to see the inside. I try to see how this hotel is named but I can't understand the Cyrillic alphabet and I am way too tired to even bother to ask Dimitri to be my translator. I surely don't need this information in this moment.

We get out of the car and enter through the big glass fancy doors that have some awesome patterns engraved on them. Someone greets us with a sentence in Russian and the voice sounds way too cheerful not to be a fake one. It's the one people usually have when they have already had enough of something but they still need to be nice to people around. I know that because I am doing that a lot in order not to be rude to people who are constantly pissing me off. I look in that direction and I see that it is a woman who has spoken to us, maybe around her thirties, tall, with nice features, her dark hair pinned into a bun at the bottom of her head, dressed in a dark red shirt and black pants as an uniform, and she has a stiff posture, giving her an important air.

As we pass, her eyes travel several times up and down on Dimitri, checking him out shamelessly. I look at her and when she catches my eye, I smile and give her a glance saying ''I know, right? He is so fucking hot!'' but she just rolls her eyes at me, probably being jealous that I am the lucky one who is actually travelling with him, but trust me woman, the job I have is not easy at all. But it's always fun to see how women react when they are in his presence. They all get that hungry glare when they look at him. Hell, I guess I do too sometimes. It's hard not to react somehow to that much sex-appeal walking past you. Good thing I know how to control myself most times, or otherwise he would have picked up on my feelings for him a long time ago and I so don't want him to take advantage of that.

I get my eyes off Dimitri's moving ass and I am about to let out a big ''Oh my fucking God, this place is so fucking awesome!'' escape my mouth when I see the lobby, but I remember where we are and restrain myself. There might still be some people around who understand English and I don't want to come out as bad-mannered. But it is hard not to be amazed by all the things around here. Everything is made out of black and white marble, the pieces combining themselves perfectly. And right in front of us, in the middle of the full of people lobby, is a massive wooden table with a gigantic vase full of yellow lilies that contrast with everything and fill the room with their strong scent. On the right side is the reception, where two men and a woman, each one of them smiling, are patiently waiting to take all your money. On the left side are a bunch of fancy chairs tapestried with dark blue velvet and some hardwood tables where people can wait to be checked in or have a drink. And the things I love the most are the gigantic crystal chandeliers that are hanging from the ceiling, the artificial light reflecting on each little composing piece, along with the wall-long drapes covering the big windows. Everything here is so elegant and perfect it's actually becoming annoying. Can I move in here for like, forever, please?

'Rose, let's go.' says Dimitri who is about three steps ahead of me and he is rushing me with his glance. It seems that I stopped to stare in awe at the lobby. Thank God he didn't leave me here because I think I would have lost myself in this building on my own. It's so big and with people walking all around us it's easy to get confused by your surroundings.

Trying not to leave his side anymore, I follow him to the registration table, where he speaks with the lady there and she gets the same hunger in her eyes the first second she notices Dimitri. I don't think that there is a single woman on this planet that would get a different reaction to seeing him. And God, I guess he is so aware of that shit. It's hard not to observe how each and every one of them turns into a little obedient kitten when she catches his attention. And maybe this is the reason he is that cocky when it comes to women. They are the ones who allow him to treat them like that.

At some point he seems to be pissed off about something because his tone changes to the one I used to get each time I would deliberately annoy him when we first met, and the woman loses any sympathy that she might have gotten from him, I am sure. He sounds just like he would be ready to slap someone soon. Maybe he is a little cranky from the flight, just as I feel in this second. I don't really care what is going on, I just want it to be done and get to my room and lay in bed (I have the feeling that they are comfortable as fuck) so please, Dimitri, just give some orders as you always do and make things right. In an instant she puts on her apologetic face and hurriedly explains something to him, being very eager to repair any damage she has done. In response, he exhales deeply and they speak some more. He makes that face he always does when he has to make a compromise that is not in his advantage and turns to face me. Oh, it's so good that I won't have to be around him for longer. I don't want to deal with a grumpy Belikov right now.

'Let's go, Rose.' He says, still obviously pissed off by that thing and we get moving towards the elevators.

'Is there something wrong?' I am still curious about what upset him that bad.

'Not really. But they have available only one of the presidential suits that I made a reservation for, because all of a sudden, they decided to give one of them to somebody else. Some _loyal guest.'_ He says and even though I am not looking at him, I know he is rolling his eyes. He is not doing this very often, but when he is doing it, you can be sure that he is seriously ticked off. 'Plus, they don't have any other available rooms in here.'

He was going to get me a presidential suite? Like, just for me? Those things must cost a little fortune. Wow, that is so generous of him. But it seems that I will have to manage with less.

'Oh, but there's no problem, I can go to another hotel and get a room there. It won't take too long, right? There must be one nearby.'

'No, that won't happen Rose. I won't let you go somewhere on your own. We are going to share the room.' I almost choke on air when I hear this.

I snap my head in his direction and his face is expressionless, the only thing I am able to read being some tiredness. Didn't he come with this shit to get me to stay with him and he's just pretending to be upset about it? Well, not while I am still alive, Belikov. I am not going to sleep into the same bed with you ever again. I'd rather sleep on a bench outside with homeless people or something. I'll find a train station, I don't know, anything just not to sleep in the same room as you do. Because, to be honest, I am more afraid of what _I_ might do rather than what you might.

'Come again, please? _We_ are going to _what_?'

'Rose, we are adults. We can manage a situation like this. Plus, the suite is big enough for both of us.'

Um, I don't think so. There doesn't seem to be enough space around to stay away from you. Like, anywhere I go. There is this thing that keeps on making me gravitate around him, just like he's the sun and I am drawn to him by some unknown force. And by some ''miracle'', the situations I get into just keep on bringing us closer and closer, physically speaking.

I shake my head no. I will definitely not do this.

'You may take the bedroom and I will sleep in the living room.' He negotiates.

'But really you don't have to bother. I can go to-'

He passes a hand through his hair and I wish I would have been the one to do that. But yeah, there are more serious things I should worry about. Like me being so close to ending up once more into the same bed with him.

'Look, Rose, it is late and I don't feel like arguing with you now. Can we please do as I said and trust me, you'll be just fine. I won't kill you in your sleep if this is what you are afraid of. I promise. Okay?'

Oooh, cowboy. I'm not afraid of you killing me. I am afraid of the other naughty things that might pass through that mind of yours. Or through my head. It's dangerous enough that I imagined you in that wet T-shirt this morning _and_ dreamt about you really coming to my rescue all cowboy style while I was on the plane. It's already two seriously naughty things that passed through my mind today and I don't really want to get to the third.

And I hate it so much when he is bossing me around. To his luck, at least this time he is asking me nicely, which is something new. But does everything have to happen his way every damn time? I guess it does because he is looking at me patiently, expecting me to give in. And I do give in because I don't feel like arguing either. But anyway, I need to protest just a little more. I take in a deep breath, roll my eyes so that he can see how much I dislike this situation, cross my arms over my chest, acting just like a three-year-old, and as we enter the elevator I say: _'Fine_ , we'll do this _your_ way.'

'Thank you, Rose.' And then we let the silence fill the quite little space between us.

The elevator gets to our floor and we enter the danger zone. Our stuff has already been brought there by the cute looking bellboy, who has let it all into the little entrance hallway. I go to the living room and the only thing I can think of when I see it is how much this room must cost. My luck that he is paying for it, because I don't think I'll afford a room into this hotel for as long as I'll live.

As I expected, the view is amazing. You can perfectly see the nicely lit up Red Square and the Kremlin through the floor-to-ceiling windows. The room even has a fireplace and a damn piano (but who really needs all these things?), that big it is. And I am still into the living room people. On the left side, it is some kind of office room that has the biggest bookcase I have ever seen. And it is full of books. It would take me a couple of years just to get to read half of them. The whole place keeps the simple combination from downstairs, with lots of white and eggshell with black elegant accents. And I don't have to feel bad for Dimitri, because the sofa he is going to sleep on seems heavenly comfortable and it is full of pillows.

I get into the bedroom and all I want to do is to throw myself into the oversized king bed with light gold silk sheets. Oh, and the bedpost is simply amazing; the wood is painted in gold and has complicated patterns carved on it. The room is really simple, without much furniture. It looks really exquisite from all the gold accents on the white and black background. Also, it has enormous windows and next to them are two dark cherry armchairs. Well, if I can't go to sleep, I am going to spend my night on one of it, watching the city. I don't think I'll ever get bored of this view. I am really beginning to like this city.

Dimitri brings my things into my room and asks me if I want something to eat, but I am not feeling like it, even though I haven't eaten a single thing in ten hours. Yeah everybody, you heard that right; Rose Hathaway is saying no to food; but trust me; this is not a thing that happens often. This thing is surprising for him too because he seems to be concerned about my stomach thing and if me not eating for so long wouldn't do me bad. And hell, I am obliged to lie to him once more. When I kept on insisting that I would be fine and that I will not die if I don't eat, he tells me that then I should get some sleep because tomorrow we have a busy day. He wishes me goodnight and goes to the living room.

* * *

For the next couple of hours, I fall asleep and wake up for several times. I gave up on the armchair idea as they are not as comfortable as I thought they would be and now I am in the waking part and I lay in bed looking out the window until my eyelids will close again voluntarily.

I was just about to drift sway to sleep once more, but the door of my room opens all of a sudden. _Oh holy fuck_! It's him! Just a couple of hours. That's all the time he could abstain himself not to come in here and look for some fun. I close my eyes lightly, pretending that I am sleeping while I sneakily watch what he is doing. He enters the room slowly and doesn't bother to close the door behind him, then takes a fast look at me and I am really thankful that this cover is on me because I am halfway naked. I swear, this room is hot as hell. And his must be too because God, he has no shirt on, his hair is so sexily falling on his shoulders and oh, those pyjama pants are hanging on his hips, revealing a good part of his V area, a thing that is completely driving me insane. Into this dim light he looks totally god-like and it's so hard for me not to get off this bed and drag him with me in between the sheets. But to my own surprise, I am not moving a muscle, waiting patiently to see what he is up to. And instead of coming my way, he walks forward. What is he _doing_? I am now officially confused.

As he moves further, his foot hits one of the dressers and makes a little creaking noise. In an instant his head snaps in my direction. I keep myself as still as I can and control my breathing, trying not to give myself away. He watches me for some seconds, then exhales relieved. Why is he so afraid of waking me up? Is he planning some surprise sex or something? The, to match his intention, I am so going to surprise him with a punch between his legs if he comes close to me. But he enters the bathroom. _The bathroom, Rose!_ _The man needed to pee for fuck's sake._ _You should stop being that paranoid._ I can almost hear Lissa's voice scolding me. Yeah, yeah, I'll try, I promise.

Well, at least I got away this night. I just hope that the next nights will get by that easily too. Let's see what tomorrow brings too.

* * *

 **So, it may seem like I am a little beating it around the bush, but I got caught up in describing all the luxurious stuff around the hotel and it may seem like not much important stuff happened in this chapter, but bear with me guys. As Dimitri said, tomorrow is _surely_ going to be a long day. A lot of things are going to happen. So, see you on Saturday!**

 **Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed my new chap!**

 **Lots of love :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hello!**

 **Cloclovilla, sorry, but the investor is not Abe. I have in mind to put him in my story a loooot later, but it won't be for that much I guess. I'll think about it till then.**

 **And Magilineals, Adrian will make his entrance soon. Like next chapter soon. And beside him, there will be someone else present in my next cahpter, someone to make things funnier :)**

 **Till then, enjoy my new chap ;)**

 **Lots of love!**

* * *

I wake up around six thirty and decide I should better get up now because if I will lay down for a little longer it would be a risky thing to do and I don't want to give Dimitri the occasion to pick up on me for not being ready on time. Only God knows how many things he wants us to do today. He already told me it will be a full one. When it comes to this project he goes out of his way to make things right more than usual and this only shows me how important it is for him and I so don't want to fuck up things. I really don't want to disappoint him.

I get my feet on the underfloor heated floorboard of the room, letting the heat diminish the little numbness I feel in my left foot and sit up on the edge of the bed, admiring the intricate golden patterns on the walls, searching for the courage to actually rise and do my thing. I yawn a few times and then prop my head into my hands, facing the floor. I can't seem to accommodate myself with the time difference as soon as I hoped I would. I'll definitely need a lot of coffee today. I just hope my heart won't pop.

One door opens (really? So early comrade?) and I turn my head towards the left side of the room where the living room door is, expecting it to be open and to see Dimitri enter in here, ready to put me to work and I am prepared to throw a pillow at him and to tell him to fuck off at least until seven, but that door is not the one which was opened a second ago. I realize that it was the bathroom door I heard and I move my gaze in that direction. And there he is, right in front of me, fresh out of the shower, wearing only a towel around his waist. I gulp at the thought of that towel fortunately falling down and leaving him completely naked. I would so like to get another glance at that. His hair is dripping and I can see some drops making their way down on his chest and abdomen, towards the towel and I gently bite my bottom lip while I am thinking how it would be if I was one of those water droplets. Oh good God, I am going to explode soon. Some shivers pass down my spine. Please, dear towel just fall already or I am going to rip you off him soon enough.

He just seemed to freeze in surprise, just like I did, with my eyes widened, and I move my glance up on his body, taking him in for as long I am allowed to, following the lines of his muscles, the dipping in between his collarbones, his Adam's apple slowly moving up and down, and I get even further up, but as I catch his eye, I rapidly look down at the floor, my cheeks turning red in a matter of seconds and I want to slap myself for staring at him so shamelessly. But I just can't help it! All I can say to my defense is an embarrassed ''Good morning'. He snaps out of his statue-like state and murmurs one as well and then exits the room at the speed of light. How come I didn't even hear the water running or something? Am I that absent and tired? Is the fucking bathroom soundproof or something? Damn, the times we live in.

About half an hour later I exit my room too and greet him again, the proper way this time. The air feels thick in this room and if I would have a knife I am sure that I could cut it in half. I am still embarrassed from earlier and so seems he. Maybe I caught him unprepared or something because he surely didn't seem smug when he saw me. I think he expected me to still be sleeping. Well, I am quite glad I wasn't.

Shifting my weight from one leg to another I open the conversation. 'Um, so, what are we going to do today?' Besides blaming the gods for not making that towel fall, of course.

'We need to take care of some papers and in the evening we are participating at a charitable dinner.'

'Um, _we_ are _what_?' I swear that this will be the usual question for me on this trip. He is planning to make me do a lot of things I am not willing to do. If I have known them before we left, I would surely have made Lissa hit me with that car.

'Yes, you are going to accompany me, Rose. We are going there to meet our future investor.'

'Aren't we going to meet him at _the meeting_?' you know comrade, the thing we are here for?

'I thought it would be better to approach him into a more relaxed environment.'

 _'No_.'

'What do you mean no?'

'I mean that I am not going.'

'And why aren't you going?'

I find the stupidest excuse ever. 'I have nothing to dress with. All I have is office clothes. So I am not going, I'm sorry.' I really need to step up my excuses game soon.

'Oh. Rose, this won't be a problem at all. We'll get you a dress. '

'Do I _really_ have to go?' please say that I don't. I look at him pleadingly. _Pleeeeease_. But he nods. And I know that I have no way out. There is no point in fighting with him, I have done it before and I couldn't win. I restrain myself from rolling my eyes and do things his way once more. _'Fine_. Then I'll go buy my dress at noon. Is _that_ okay?'

'Perfect. I'll take you. I have something to do in town anyway.'

'If you wish, okay.'

We spend the next couple of hours preparing everything for tomorrow's meeting. We don't get to finish it all, but we still have some time left tomorrow morning to take care of the last details. I just can't wait to be done with this. I even began to dream about going to endless meetings about this business. I guess that I am getting a little off the rails lately. It's hard not to, with everything going on around.

* * *

Around two, after we eat, we get out and drive the Rolls to a place where Dimitri told me that I could find some nice dresses. And the car pulls up in front of a Givenchy shop. Yeah, they might have nice dresses, but I may need a loan to afford one. As I see that the car isn't getting past the shop, I turn to face him.

 _'No_.' I say shaking my head to emphasize my disapproval.

'No what, Rose?' he says seeming very confused. 'We already decided that you are going.' Well, not _we_ , mostly you. But this is not the subject now.

'I am _not_ getting my dress from this shop. I can't afford it.'

'But I'll pay for it.'

'No!' the last thing I need is for him to buy me expensive shit.

'Rose, I took you with me. So every expense is bore by me.'

'No. _Nope_. No. We can find a decent priced shop. It's a big city. It's full of shops around here. And it has to have a lot of dress shops too. Some with dresses that don't cost like double my salary.'

'Rose. I am not taking no for an answer. Now let's go, I don't have time to waste.' he says as he gets out of the car.

'Look, comrade.' His eyebrows knit when I call him like that. _Fuck, Rose! Don't give him the chance to remember you called him like this that night. You are already into deep shit, don't make it deeper._ So I distract his attention with my further disapproval. 'I am _not_ going. Please, let's go somewhere else.'

And I am not getting down of this car soon. But he just simply looks at me, with his hands crossed over his chest. I feel like I am a little spoilt brat and he is my father who is waiting for me to stop acting out.

'Oh, _come on_. I don't want you to spend so much money on me. _Please_?' I resort to my puppy face.

'Rose.' Is all he says and he sounds so fucking imposing just by saying that. But no one could resist my puppy face until now. Wow, this man is made from stone or something?

I swear to God that he is driving me insane. I might keep my promise and bring Lissa his head on a plate. Or his thing. I'll decide later what to cut off.

'Fine. _Fine_. But you have to know that I don't like this thing. Like, at all.'

'Yeah, I can see that. Now let's go.' He says and opens the car door some more for me to get out of there.

We enter the shop and from everybody working in there, a nice lady approaches us. She is around her forties and she gives me the impression that she is a loving mother. I can't explain why, but it is like she is radiating this kind of warmth and there is this big genuine smile that appears in her lips as she spots us. I decide that I like her even though I will have to disappoint her a little later.

Dimitri tells her something I can't understand and she nods, still smiling. Then he turns to speak with me.

'Here' he puts his credit card in my hand and after just a little more protesting I finally take it 'I told her to show you some dresses. And anything you like, you buy it. Okay? I'll be back in about one hour or a little more. I think that it will be enough for you to find something. Okay?'

I crook my mouth, roll my eyes and respond defeated.

'Fine.' And he gives me a little smile. Yeah, be proud of yourself mister.

'Anything you like, okay?' he insists. 'It doesn't matter, Rose. Just take it. See you later.' and with that, he nods at the nice lady and gets out of the shop, hurrying to the car.

So, back to the disappointing the nice lady thing. I plan to run from this shop as soon as his car leaves and go find a cheaper one, but the lady simply grabs me and starts showing me evening dresses all around the place and I can't get away. She is very excited as she guides me through the whole shop, but I haven't seen something to catch my eye, except for the price tags. And the numbers on them, man. When she sees that I don't cooperate, she grabs some dresses and practically forces me into the dressing room.

I try on a lot of dresses. One royal blue, short, made from lace. Another one that is dark green, made from two pieces, looking just like a bathing suit with a long skirt. Weird, right? One light pink with bare shoulders. And many others in God knows what other combinations. The imagination people have these days. But I don't like either of them and this lady seems to agree with me, because every time I get out of the dressing room, she frowns, shakes her head and says ''Not good''. That's some nice encouragement there, right?

My hopes have hit the low bottom and I am about to give up. I got to my fifteenth dress and I want to burn this shop down. Why is it so fucking hard to find a nice dress?

The woman brings me now a silvery dress, made from some light material that falls perfectly over all my curves as I put it on. This color is going perfectly with my complexion and dark hair. I believe that this is _the dress_. It has a relatively deep plunging neck that reaches below the end of my sternum, but not letting anything indecent too visible, spaghetti straps and a bare back. It is long and I am going to need some high high heels in order not to step on it and stumble. On the left side, it has split that gets up to the middle of my thigh, leaving that part of my body uncovered as well. It is a _very_ risky thing to wear, I am really aware of this, but I fell in love with it on the spot and I know I need to have it.

I get out of the dressing room to get the verdict. The woman just looks at me and makes me a sign to wait. She comes back with a pair of silvery point-toe stilettos that have a strap around the ankle. Simple, but still elegant. I put them on and the woman simply says to me: 'You, beautiful.' Russian accent fully on. And I can see that she is proud of herself. Well, she should be, because she has done a hell of a job here.

Okay, I am going to buy these, because I am tired of looking for something else and if I have to put on another dress I am going to go nuts, and because I'd surely regret not doing so. I am simply in love with this outfit. As I hand the credit card to the lady, I look at the price tag and my breath catches in my throat. Only the dress is 7200$. This fucking dress is made from real silver or what? I don't have the courage to check on the shoes too. I think I'll faint if I do so I just hand them over Dimitri's card and pay for it all.

Then, not long after, Dimitri comes to pick me up. I get into the back seat, and a smug expression covers his face as he sees the shopping bags that I carry.

'I still don't like this. I am going to give you your money back.'

'Rose, you don't-'

I raise a hand and stop him. 'No, Dimitri. I already made my mind. There is no need to argue.' At least this thing I want to go my way.

Even if I have to work for years to give him back the money. Really? 7200$ for some material?

* * *

We still have fifteen minutes until the big dinner begins. Can someone remind me why am I doing this? If Lissa would have agreed to break my legs, I am sure I wouldn't have had to attend it. And she said my plan was stupid. At least it would have helped me with this.

I just have to put on my lipstick and I am ready to go. I gently curled my hair into big waves and let it fall down on my bare back. I didn't bother with some complicated makeup, just some nude eyeshadow, mascara and lastly some burgundy lipstick that only makes everything better. Now, the dress seems to fit even better, if that is somehow possible. Not to brag or something, but I look really hot right now. I feel really good wearing it. It is boosting up my confidence to the roof.

Dimitri knocks at my door.

'Rose, are you ready?'

'Coming!'

I put on my stilettos and get out. He is into the living room with his back towards me. He turns around, looking confused at the bow tie around his neck, trying to tie it.

'Do you think you can hel-' his eyes raise and he sees me. My heart stops for a second as we make eye contact. I so want to know what he thinks about how I look now. _Why, Rose?_ Just because, okay?

 **DPOV begins**

As I lay my eyes on her, it takes me a second to think straight again because I cannot believe my eyes what I am seeing. In front of me is Roza, looking more beautiful than ever. The longer I look at her I can feel my chest beginning to hurt. She is drop dead gorgeous. I don't have enough words to describe how wonderful she looks in this second. It is simply taking your breath away.

She is wearing her hair down, just like I love it, and she didn't bother with applying much makeup. She is perfect without any anyway. As I look at her, she smiles weakly, lifting the right corner of her lips, forming a small dimple on her cheek and I need to fight the powerful impulse to dissolve the distance between us and kiss those dark red plump lips. Only their slight movement is mesmerizing.

I am now sure that this woman has in plan to end me completely and she is slowly and surely getting there. She must have bought this thing on purpose, just to tease the shit out of me. And God, how much she enjoys seeing me suffer. I haven't seen the dress she took earlier, and I must admit that it is worth every dollar I paid, I don't care how much it cost. Just to see her wearing this, I would have given all my money without a second thought. The silver material is lightly falling on all of her round curves, emphasizing everything perfectly. She is not wearing a bra, as I can see a teeny tiny part of her breasts through the plunging neck. Running out fast of any liquid in my mouth, I gulp hard at the thought of getting my hands under that material and cupping her chest. They must be so full and her skin so soft. She is sitting slightly on her side, and I observe that her back is bare, the light material beginning just at her tailbone. That is _such_ a dangerous territory, leaving so much skin open to the view. The dress has a long split too, stopping above her left knee. Even more skin uncovered. Skin that I want to explore right now.

I want so bad to have her right now. And this is way past sex. I want to worship her body, to walk my hands all over her amazing curves and to cover her entire skin with kisses, to feel her tremble under my touch. Good God, why won't you make her mine?

And the room is already starting to fill with her maddening scent and it takes so much from me not to get closer to her and touch her. She has no idea what effect she has on me. And she is still dressed, for the love of God! It is killing me knowing that if I would try something she would pull away once more. I can't bear the thought of her rejecting me. But why does it have to be that hard? Getting closer to her is like walking a tightrope. You never know when things will get bad and you fall and then have to do it all again from the start.

But I would never let her leave my side tonight. I can't imagine other men even looking at her, not to speak about laying a finger on her. I am being totally selfish, but I swear I cannot help it. If she won't be mine, I can't even imagine someone else having her.

 **DPOV ends**

He lets go of his bow tie and just looks at me slowly, from head to toe, taking me all in. I can feel the blood in me beginning to heat up and I guess I won't need any blush to complete my makeup. Well, I know I have brought this to myself just by buying this dress so I shouldn't complain. Plus, I love the way he is looking at me, even though all I can see in his eyes is pure hunger. But maybe my eyes match his; I don't know what I am now transmitting to others, I am way too preoccupied with trying to tame my heartbeats.

He clears his throat lightly. 'Wow, Roz-' He was about to call me Roza. I think that even my ears turned red by now. I fist my palm, trying to get a hold of the air around me just to keep me straight on my feet. 'Rose, you look sublime.' he finally says something after some seconds of awkward silence in which the air in the room only filled itself with some more electricity.

'Um, thank you. You don't look bad either.' I respond smiling stupidly. Wow, _sublime_? Really? He thinks that?

And he is indeed looking hot. Too hot for his own good I may add. He is dressed into a tuxedo-like suit that has the color of the midnight sky, and the coat that is still on the hanger has a silvery pocket square that contrasts with the dark color. Over the white shirt, he is wearing a same dark blue waistcoat that only makes things look better. And when I say things, I am totally referring to his muscles everybody, because that waistcoat only makes the white of his shirt look brighter and that drags your attention to his strong arms. I seriously consider advising him not to put on his coat, but I am afraid that I might make a big mistake if I would. His hair is completely tied back into a neat low ponytail which perfection I so want to spoil right now as I pull him closer for a long kiss but I restrain myself as best as I can by pushing my nails into the skin of my palm. With the hair tied back, that lets visible all the lines that compose his face and gives me a better view of his melted chocolate eyes. At this sight, my knees go weak in an instant.

'Thank you. But I just can't get this right.' he says grabbing his bow tie again. 'I am more used to ties.'

'Here, let me do it.' I say gesturing him to come my way. I am an expert in bow ties. I am the one who is tying them for my father when he needs to go all fancy.

And he comes closer, maybe a little too close, because I can feel the air thicken so much more as I breathe in his mesmerizing cologne so I need to take a teeny tiny step back, leaning on my heels, just not to faint soon. I get the ends of the bow tie and make a knot. The whole time I do this he watches my every move. He is still taller than me, even with the high heels that I am wearing, and I can feel his breath on my face. I can see that he is breathing with difficulty, as his chest rises and sinks slowly. We both are. This is the only thing you can hear in the room as the tension between us is becoming unbearable. My hands tremble and as I am hurrying to make the knot, I have to do it two times in order to get it right.

Finally, I do the knot perfectly and take two steps back and he goes on to complete his outfit. Yup, he is even hotter with the bow tie knotted and the coat on. Just like some Russian James Bond. Oh, gosh, I would like so much to be the Bond girl in his movie. And I would love to play with his gun. Dude, what this man is to my brain is totally not good.

'Shall we?'

I nod and we head out the door.


	28. Chapter 28

**Hi there!**

 **I am going to answer some of your questions first**

 **Dear Guest, Dimitri will find out the truth quite soon, but first, some other things will have to happen :) hope you'll bear with me**

 **Neha, no offense taken. I don't really know, but I have a ton of ideas and I plan to write a lot. My last fanfic had 56 chapters and I am planning to outrun it. There might be 60, might be 70, I really don't know. It depends on how many ideas I write down :)**

 **Yes, Magilineals, you are absolutely right. Adrian is the one**

 **Enjoy! And sorry if it took a little longer to update today, but I was studying and I got caught up in that and didn't realize how much time passed**

* * *

We enter the elevator and I take a look at our reflections into the gigantic mirror. I was too distracted by him to observe this earlier, but our clothes match perfectly, considering the silvery pocket square of his coat and my dress and to someone who doesn't know us, it may seem like we have put some thought into this, but we didn't really. Things just fell in place and we look like a power couple. Too bad we are not.

Keeping a small talk, we get down and head towards the ballroom along with some other pairs that are dressed just as elegant as we are, making our way on a looooong hallway that has different expensive looking paintings with thick golden frames hanging on the walls, and I get the confirmation that this hotel is gigantic as hell. I wonder what other many things it contains that I am still not aware of.

We get at the end of the hallway and I find myself at the top of an enormous set of stairs on the left side of the room, that goes down and merges in the middle with the stairs coming from the right side and then they go down towards the ballroom. I am surprised to see that there is no red carpet on them but I guess that the flowers and the white tulle wrapped around the banister are more than enough. Too much is not always good.

Getting past the staircase with my glance, I freeze in place at the sight of what is down there. The room is twice as big as the lobby, with big shiny crystal chandeliers hanging from the ceiling. It has a white marble floor and white walls with intricate eggshell patterns on them, all that brightness being contrasted by dark green accents: some long drapes at the windows, some ribbons hanging from the ceiling, and green and pink hortensias that are scattered all over the place. Everything is completed by golden details on the walls and pillars, giving the place a royal air. On the background, you can hear some chamber music being played by the quartet situated on the left side of the room. The sound of the cello is pure delight for my ears. I feel like I am part of some Disney movie right now, as I watch all these elegantly dressed people moving around. But the place is completely stacked up. There must be at least two hundred people in here if not even more. I hate crowds like these. And I don't know anybody here. What do I even do here? I can't do this. I am so going back to our suite and spend my night locked inside.

Everybody passed us and we remained alone on that hallway, just next to the stairs and I am still not moving.

'Rose? What happened?' Dimitri asks just from beside me, reminding me that he exists too in here. In my contemplation, I forgot he is with me for a second.

'I am not going down there. I just-'

'Of course you are, Rose. There is no turning back. Come on.' And he touches my elbow, urging me to finally move.

I take a deep breath and start descending the stairs as I lift one side of my dress because I don't want to step on it. This only gives people a much better sight of my left leg, but only Dimitri is now around to see it and I so don't care about that. I am more preoccupied with not stumbling. But I am way too nervous and as I get to the half of the stairs I make a wrong move on the marble, my fucking shoe deciding it is a good idea to slide on it. I can already see myself rolling down the rest of the stairs and make a fool of myself and I can even hear all the thumping sounds I might make on my way down on each stair. Instead of that, I feel Dimitri's soft palm as he rounds it on my arm, (how is he so fast?) catching me before falling and keeping me steady on my feet. Thank God he did that and nobody down there saw it. My anxiety already hit the roof; I don't need any supplementary embarrassment.

'Easy, there. You don't plan to break your neck or something, right? If you want to get out of here, you'll have to find another way. Just don't hurt yourself, okay?'

Yeah, of course, that is what I was planning to do in this room full of people, comrade. Too bad you were here to interfere with my stratagem.

I give him a tight-lipped smile as a thank you as I get the hair out of my face. He lets go and I steady myself on my feet, and then I look down, making sure I didn't break my heel. Bad thing I didn't. Like that, I could have had a reason to get back to the suite.

Then, he extends his right elbow and tells me to hold on to him. I don't argue because I don't want to expose myself again at the risk of falling down the stairs and I encircle my arm around his, feeling the silky material of his tux brushing on my skin. I mumble a thank you this time and we continue our way down without any possible embarrassing incident.

As we get at the base of the stairs and the torment of descending ends, people start noticing us and they are staring shamelessly. Why are they staring? Is there something wrong? Do I have something on my face? Is my dress inappropriate? Or maybe it is all Dimitri who is attracting all the eyes on us. I mean, you remember how good he looks, right? But this won't explain the big amount of men looking our way. Oh, they are looking at me. I so knew that this dress will be a pain in the ass to wear. But did I listen to my brain? _Noooo_ , I never do.

'Rose, calm down. Everything is going to be fine, okay? No one here is going to bite. I'll make sure of that.'

I realize that I was squeezing his arm quite hard and I release my grip on him but I don't let go on him. He is like my support and I won't let go of him until I find a chair to sit on. I so don't want to get lost in here.

'Sorry. It's just that there are so many people.' I lean to my left side, getting closer to him and whisper, trying not to be heard by others. I don't want to seem rude, unlike the ones whose eyes can't seem to leave us. 'And what are they staring at?'

'At you, of course.' he responds not even looking at me and with a straight face, but mine simply drops at his answer. Don't fuck with me Belikov, okay? I am so not ready for you hitting on me right now.

'Come again?'

'You are the most beautiful woman in here. They can't abstain themselves not to look at you. Simple as that.' Gosh, man. Stop complimenting me. You won't get anywhere with this comrade, I promise.

'Yeah, sure, of course.' I respond rolling my eyes. 'Cut the crap, please. I am already uncomfortable enough I don't need your help with that.'

He just shakes his head and smiles.

We make our way into the crowd and head towards a bunch of people and he doesn't let me leave his side as he greets some of them. And then some more of them. And then others. The list is infinite. He is carrying me with him everywhere. And all I can do is to smile and nod at them as they speak things I can't comprehend and even when he is bothering to speak in English I don't really pay attention. I am more distracted by all the things I find around the room. And this thing seems to last forever. Why does he have to know so many people? And why does he have to drag me with him? I can just wait for him somewhere in a corner but no, he is not willing to let me go.

From all this walking around on these too high heels, my feet already hurt and I surely need a break. But I am not going to get one soon. Now, we are making our way towards another group of people that I don't know. At least not personally, as Dimitri does. I recognize some important businessmen around here; I am not an outsider when it comes to this domain. But gosh, is this what we are going to do all night long? Is this how rich people have fun these days?

'Good evening, Mister Ivashkov.' Dimitri suddenly turns to English again. Oh, so maybe now am I supposed to understand this conversation too. Wait a second. Ivashkov? I know this name. Ah! It's the damn investor. I am so going to strangle him. He is the reason all of these things are happening.

When he hears his name, the man turns to face us. And holy mother of baby Jesus, he is so handsome. Well, not as handsome as Dimitri because, in my opinion, no man can compare to him, but still, he is hot. He is also tall, and this makes the deep black suit he is wearing fit perfectly on his lean body. He is wearing his perfectly white shirt unbuttoned, letting a small part of his chest visible along with his collarbones. But his face, boys and girls, his face is something spectacular. His hair reminds me of wet sand, and it is styled into a controlled mess, giving you the impression that he just woke up like this and made no effort to look this good. His eyes are dark green, resembling two emeralds, that I have rarely seen in people, but they go so good with his complexion. He has a sharp jaw and, as he lays his eyes on me, his mouth turns into a devilish smile that only makes him sexier. Oh, damn me. Hello there mister investor.

 _'Mister_ Belikov, I'm delighted to meet you again.' Again? So, they already know each other? Have they seen each other before? I didn't know this. But maybe Ivashkov is that difficult if Dimitri had to move his ass here to convince him. 'How long has it been?' he says and his voice has a hoarseness in it that makes me imagine him whispering naughty words to me. But nah, I still keep on to my opinion that Dimitri's naughty words (maybe in Russian if I am lucky enough) would sound better than anything in this world.

'Maybe not enough.' Dimitri responds, seeming a little rude. Since when is he acting this way with an investor?

Ivashkov decides not to respond to that, he just smiles at Dimitri. Then, his attention rapidly turns into my direction because well, I am still attached to Dimitri.

'And the beautiful Lady is?'

'Rose Hathaway.' I respond as I extend my hand to shake his.

Instead, he takes my hand and lifts it to his mouth, (Wow, he is so mannered) kissing it lightly with his soft lips, stopping a second in that position to throw me a glance and I smile lightly, not knowing what to do in a situation like this.

'It is such a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hathaway.'

Took by surprise by his gesture, I only mumble a 'Me too, Sir.'

'Please, call me Adrian.' Oh, so we are on a first name basis already? We have just met, but mkay. I don't really like formalities anyway.

The two men start talking but I can't pay attention to them and at some point, a manly voice speaks into the room, interrupting their conversation before it gets too deep. Dimitri tells me that we are supposed to head towards the dining room and to take our places and we separate ourselves from Adrian as we get into the dining area, another marvelous room. It keeps the color combination from before and it surely sends those royal Russian vibes too. People must have put so much effort into making this room look this good. I swear that someone needs a raise or something.

Dimitri leads us towards one of the big round fancy tables, somewhere at the back of the room. It has a white long tablecloth with a nice intricate border. Every one of them has a big vase with the same green and pink hortensias in the middle and a bunch of lit up candles around it. I find our names written on fancy pieces of paper, sitting next to each other and he helps me take a seat on the green velvet chair and then sits right next to me. Yay! I again got to be next to him. This shit is so hard man. I hope we won't touch out legs or other parts of our bodies that much along the night.

As soon as we take our places, a man begins to speak. I don't follow his speech. It would be a waste of time since I can't understand a thing he says. So, from the information I have gathered so far, this is some kind of charitable event where theoretically, the most prosperous Russian businessmen have gathered, even though I have seen that not all of them are Russians; there is a bunch of people who have lost themselves on their way and ended up here. Poor souls just like me, who don't understand a thing that is being spoken around here. So, what am I doing here again? What is my purpose? Because Dimitri surely doesn't seem to need me here. Maybe he brought me just to accompany him here because most men in here have someone by their side and it would have been such a pity for a man like him to come unaccompanied. But why me? Couldn't he find another woman? I know that there would be plenty sitting in line to be by his side. But meh, I am not going to sit around and question his reasons. I am already here.

The seat next to Dimitri is now getting occupied by a man. He is also good looking. What is it with all the young hot men here? I am beginning to get a little uncomfortable by being surrounded by so many of them. Can't at least one of them be ugly, old and rich?

He is wearing an expensive dark grey suit, completed by a dark red tie, both nicely highlighting his military cut light brown hair, and his dark blue eyes. He looks good and he is surely doing justice to his country and to the males in general. I guess that the ladies are just following him around everywhere he goes. Before he does anything else he gets rid of his coat and remains only into the white shirt and the dark grey waistcoat, making me gulp a little at his sight. Damn you too many hot men in here. You can see that he spends his time into the gym, as the well-fitted shirt is stressing out the muscles in his arms. Yup, all the men in here look good as fuck and I am beginning to get overwhelmed by all the sex-appeal walking around.

It seems that both men know each other very well because Dimitri rises and takes this man into an embrace, a thing he didn't do with anybody in here. After this, the man comes my way and introduces himself.

'Good evening, Miss Hathaway.' He says into perfect English, no accent or anything. So, he is not Russian either? Yay! Someone here is as confused at me at least. And where does he know my name from? Did Dimitri tell him about me already? 'My name is Ivan Zeklos and I am a close friend of Dimitri's. It's a pleasure to finally meet you.'

My jaw drops. _Finally_ meet me? Waaait a second, is he _that_ Ivan? If I consider things for a second, the voices match. Oh well, at least now I know who Dimitri was bagging to that day. And it's nice. Now I am double fucked. I am going to have to spend my night with both of them.

'Um, nice to meet you too, Mister Zeklos.'

'Dimitri has told me a lot of things about you.' Oh, if you would ever know the things you know about me boy.

'I hope that he told you something good about me.' I say throwing a little glance towards Dimitri, but he is letting us have our conversation private, but I am sure that he is eavesdropping.

'Yeah. Your abilities to piss off a man are _absolutely_ incredible Miss Hathaway.' he says and gets back to his place smiling, as my cheeks turn red. Yeah, it is going to be a great night, I am sure of it.

They start speaking about some business stuff, Ivan being very eager to fill Dimitri in about some investment he has made. Pff. Men and their business. I wonder when they are going to switch to Russian and turn their conversation in my direction. But they don't for now. And I get tired of the business stuff so I take a look around the dining room.

First, I turn my head to the right side and from everyone in this damn dining room, my eyes lay on Tasha's figure, as she is throwing her well known harsh glare in my direction. Wow, it's like I could feel her stare and I turned directly to her spot. She is sitting just across the room, at about five tables away from ours, being dressed fancy in her usual weird cover model way and just by remembering our last encounter I want to get up from my chair, go to her and slap her hard. I regret not doing it then. What the hell is she doing here? Does she have to everywhere? Maybe she is that important. But I haven't heard about her into the business domain so she must be accompanying someone in here. That is the only reasonable explanation for her presence here. Now that she and Dimitri broke up she must be on a rich men hunting spree, I am sure. But isn't Manhattan big enough for her to find a man? Did she have to come all the way here?

Oh, but it seems that she has already found someone. Next to her is a man that puts his arm around her shoulders, and there ends my search for the ugly rich man in the building. He is old too, around his mid-forties I guess, if not even older because I can spot from here the greyish strands that have appeared through his black hair.

When she sees that I discovered her and that I am not looking away in fear or something and I am just reciprocating her ugly glare, she breaks eye contact with me and gives all her attention to that man, flirting all the way, walking her hand all over his and maybe so much more than that, things I surely don't want to be a witness of. Oh, but what if she wants to make Dimitri jealous? That would be something. But by the way that man looks, Dimitri has no reason to feel threatened. I mean, the difference between the two of them would be obvious even for a blind person. But hey, who am I to judge? Let the woman try her thing.

Being bored as hell, when I am not maintaining a cordial conversation with the two men next to me, I look into Tasha's direction for some time, spying on her sneakily, until a waiter comes at our table and sets a plate in front of me. Yay! Some food, finally! I am half starving.

But as I lay my eyes on the plate my nose wrinkles from instinct. Ew. Caviar and other too fancy-looking things that I am sure they taste bad. I roll my eyes at the thought of starving again. Now I regret not eating that second serve at lunch. But maybe they will bring us some real food later. But I doubt it. I play with my food and take two bites before giving up.

'You _really_ don't like this food.' Dimitri says seeming amused.

'Is it that obvious?'

'Well, you already turned mush about everything on your plate, so yes.'

'I just can't understand why people enjoy eating this. It has no taste. And when it does it tastes like cardboard. It's like I am eating a box of milk. Where is the real food in here?'

He doesn't reply, just smiles. As the waiter comes around to take our plates, Dimitri tells him something and the boy nods, then he brings some wine at our table. Well, if I am not going to eat anything, I may at least drink something good. And the wine is as expensive as everything around this place.

I spend some time sipping wine and looking around, trying to ignore Tasha's spot. I don't want her to get the impression that her presence here affects me in any way because it surely doesn't. I really couldn't care less about her in this moment. I have other things to deal with. For example, the fact that it is so boring here. When can I go back up? I think I prefer some Russian TV movie better than this dinner. At least it has some action in it. There is nothing palpitating going on around here. Can't they just make those donations already and call it a night? I already miss my pyjamas.

The waiter comes one more time and sets some fancy plate in front of Dimitri. What is that thing laying in the plate? Is that some kind of bird? I am so not putting that in my mouth. It looks like it might start flying some time soon. Is that thing even cooked? I can't really tell. But to my surprise, my plate doesn't contain the same thing. In fact, it has some noodles. I take a sniff and to be more precise it is some sweet and sour chicken chow mein, but only looking fancier than ever. It's like a little piece of art on my plate.

'Um, what is this?' I ask the waiter but Dimitri is the one who responds.

'Your food.'

'Yeah, I see that. But why is it different from yours?'

'I told the waiter to bring you some. I don't want you to starve and neither to get sick from eating something you don't like. And you surely wouldn't eat this.' he says pointing to his plate. And yes, he is right. Not even if I would get paid I wouldn't put something like that in my mouth.

'But why exactly this? Why not anything else?' the chef might be able to cook a whole variety of other things, I am sure.

'I saw many empty wrappers at the office and I thought you like this. I can get you something else if yo-'

Wow, nothing gets past this man, huh? He has such a good memory too. I can't even remember myself what I like most to eat at a restaurant I have visited on many occasions.

'No, no. This is perfect. Thank you.' I say giving him a broad smile. He just made my night.

And man, this is the best Chinese I have ever eaten. Can I take the chef here back home with me, please? I swear that it would worth going to prison for kidnapping someone, that good that chef cooks.

* * *

My belly is full and I am now a happy girl. I would have asked for seconds, but this dress might show it all so I have decided to stop right there. Plus, I still want to get a bite from the desert.

It even feels like the time is passing differently now. I take another sip from the marvelous wine and I place my glass back on the table. As I do that, Dimitri glues his eyes on the glass, his face filled with concentration and God, he stares at it for some long seconds. Is it rude that my lipstick got transferred to the glass? Maybe I should wipe it out.

'Rose, have you used this lipstick before?' why does he care about this? It's just some lipstick. Does he want some too? But as I look at his face some more, it hits me. It's the same lipstick I had on that night. How stupid am I, really? I am digging my own grave now. I should have thrown it away the same day I saw Dimitri inspecting the whiskey glass. Goddamnit! What if he makes a connection? He's not as stupid as I am. Please, Dimitri, don't use your wonderful brain now.

'Um, no. I bought it a week ago and used it today for the first time. Is there a problem?'

'What? Oh, no. I just thought I saw you wearing it once. Forget about it.' and he gets back to speaking with someone from across the table.

Phew. I got away this time. I was so close to getting caught. I have to be extra careful from now on, not to let little things like these behind me anymore. The only thing he can remember is my perfume, but I bought another one some time ago. Oh, and my birthmark. But this doesn't pose any problem. I won't get to be naked around him anytime soon. Unless he wants to take me swimming or anything like this. I pray to God that he doesn't. I'd drown myself anyhow. I am a terrible swimmer.

* * *

I see that Adrian is heading our way. Maybe he is in the mood to discuss some more business and I should be grateful that he might take Dimitri's mind off my lipstick. But can't he wait until tomorrow? I am already too bored and I might fall asleep on this table. This dinner seems endless.

But he doesn't address himself to Dimitri. He speaks with me instead, a thing I wasn't prepared for.

'Hello again, Rose. May I call you Rose, no?' I nod and give him a small smile. 'Rose, I was wondering if you would like to dance with me. I promise I won't take you away for long.' he says throwing a glance into Dimitri's direction and he shifts his position a little. Okay, why do I get the vibes that the two of them don't really like each other? I so don't want to be in the middle of this thing they have. 'Just for one dance.' he insists.

Not knowing what to do, I look at Dimitri with the corner of my eye. What is that on his face? Indifference? Does he look pissed off or am I just imagining things? I look even further and see Ivan, who is slightly smiling as he is trying to cover his mouth with his palm. Is this thing funny? I get my attention back to Dimitri for another second. But he doesn't seem to try to transmit me anything. He just looks at me for a second and then turns his head away. Okay, mister, I get it, I have to choose. But do I really have a choice? We need him. His money in fact, but still. So, if I dance with him tonight he might remember this tomorrow and he'll finally accept our proposal. Yeah, this might work in our favor. I am going to give him a piece of Rose Hathaway's charm. And I kind of need a little movement. I have been sitting on this chair for quite a while now and nobody _next_ to me didn't offer to do shit. It was the least I hoped I would get tonight. So, why the hell not go dance with Adrian instead?

I smile again. 'Yes, I'd like that, Mister Ivashkov.'

'Adrian, call me Adrian.'

He takes my hand and as I rise, I hear Dimitri exhale hard. What is his deal? I am doing this for his company after all. He can now go and gossip freely with his buddy.


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey dear guest, thank you for pointing that out. I really meant to write what you said, the thing with the first name basis, and I looked for that expression online and the theeing and thouing thing was all I could find. Again, in my language it makes sense and I thought that in English it would too. But I replaced my little slip :)**

 **I am always open to constructive criticism. And at least I learned something new. So thanks :)**

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

Not at even a second after Rose has left the room, Ivan gets talking and distracts me from watching the two of them heading towards the ballroom. Why does he have to always poke his nose around? Him hitting on her is the last thing I needed now, really.

'So, how did the both of you end up in the same room? You didn't get the chance to tell me the whole story.'

'Oh, don't remind me of that. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I would really complain about that.' it's like fate is once in my favor when it comes to Rose. I am not planning to try anything, but like this, I got the chance to see her more often these days. 'But these people here would simply not take into account anything I asked them. They gave one of my rooms to someone else, without any heads-up or any competent explanation.'

'Well, then, you are welcome.' He responds smiling.

'What? Thank you for what?'

'Who do you think that took the room?'

'I don't know. The receptionist didn't want to tell me. She just kept on saying something about a loyal guest or something like that.'

'Well, it was me. I am the special guest.'

'No kidding?'

' _Nope_.' He says proud of himself and then his attention gets a little distracted by some woman passing our table and he takes his time to wink in her direction and she throws him a playful smile. Oh, if things would have only worked this easily for me lately.

'But why?'

He gets his attention back to me and rolls his eyes, just like I would totally miss the point here. ' _Because,_ my friend, you seemed to be in need of some help. And I couldn't come to Manhattan to offer it to you if you needed it until now, but now that you are here and I am too, you are going to get all the help you need from me, even if you want it or not. I can't sit around and see you suffer for longer.'

'I can't believe you did this.' Wow, the ideas this man has. I don't think I could have thought about this. I have promised myself not to try to play any game with Rose. It's already hard enough when I am not trying anything so I would have only made my life harder.

'Well, I did. And it cost me double so it better be worth it buddy.'

'Yeah, I hope that too.' Let's see how the night is going to end. When she comes back I am going to ask her to go and dance with me. I just hope that she won't run away as always. I swear that she is acting just like I would want to eat her. Well, I think I would want to, but not literally anyway.

'I was afraid that she might insist on her taking another room somewhere else, but to my surprise, she just went with me.'

'Well then, maybe she is changing her opinion about you. It seems that your new strategy with taking things slowly is finally paying off.' he says surprised. Things like these didn't use to happen very often when it came to me and women. But with her, it's a whole other story.

'Yeah, I really hope it does because I don't think I can keep on go-'

'Oh my God!' Oh, God, please not her. I haven't seen her in here when I came. Where did she appear from? 'I didn't know you would be here Dimitri. It's so nice to see you again. You haven't called me in a while.'

I turn my head in her direction and she greets me with a smile I can't longer reciprocate. 'Oh, hey. You see...'

'Is this seat taken?' she asks but doesn't wait for an answer, just drags Rose's chair and sits on it.

Nice. Just another thing to complicate my night.

 **DPOV ends**

We go back to the ballroom and I see other pairs dancing. Well, at least we can lose ourselves in the crowd. I don't like it when people look at me dancing, I am not as good as I wish I would be at that. Adrian takes me somewhere to the center of the room and what he asks me next shocks me. I have never thought about this before and no one even bothered to ever ask me this.

'Is it okay if I touch the skin of your back? Since you have a barebacked dress I don't want you to get me wrong, Rose.'

I am simply bewildered. Is there some gentlemen book that says that? Because I can't decide if this is weird or very nice of him. From how flirty he is looking at me, I expected him to already want to touch me all over.

'Um, yes. It is okay.'

And even if he has my permission, he still keeps his hand on my hip with only half of his fingers brushing my skin. Wow, such a gentleman. He takes my right hand into his and keeps an acceptable distance as we dance slowly. As we move, I can feel some weird combination of smells around him, but it's mostly tobacco I feel. It's nice somehow, but I can't quite point exactly what it is mixed with.

Then, as I have already expected ever since he gave me that devilishly smile earlier this night, he drops it. He really seems the kind to hit on everything he sees.

'I have asked you that because I don't usually get touchy with women on the first date. Unless they _want to_ , of course.' Wow. Just wow. I want to puff so hard that it might spoil his perfectly arranged hair.

'Is this a date?' I ask sarcastically. 'When did it become a date? No one gave me a heads-up.'

He throws me that smile again. 'It's _whatever_ you want to call it.'

'Fine. Then we'll call it a dance between some people who have just met. A dance between some people who have a _meeting_ tomorrow.' I try to keep it as professional as possible and he chuckles, getting my message.

'As the lady wishes.' he says somehow disappointed that his charms didn't work on me. But it's not his fault. I am already enchanted by someone else. But then he changes the subject to a more unexpected one. 'So, for how long are you and Belikov together? If it doesn't bother you to respond.' and this is the moment I should have stopped dancing in order to pick up my jaw from the floor.

'What do you mean?' does he think that I am Dimitri's girlfriend? I so want to laugh in his face. I am not his new Tasha, that's for sure. I'll never be. He won't live to see that day. But what if this is the reason everybody was staring at us earlier? This kind of makes sense now. Wow, does everybody here think that I am his new conquest? _Fuck_!

'I mean exactly what I say, Rose.'

'Well, then, you got this wrong. We are not dating or something. I am just his secretary.'

'Don't you say?' he asks suspiciously. What boy? Do you need me to write it down for you?

'Yes' I say categorically. 'Between me and Mister Belikov is just business' Pff, I can't even lie myself with this shit. 'I simply work for him.' And I kind of feel something for him. But you don't need to know that. Oh, and he banged me good once. But you don't have to know that either. Not even he knows that so why would you?

'So now it makes sense why such a beautiful woman accompanies him tonight.'

'Please, Adrian, don't flatter me.' It won't work in a million years I omit to add.

'I am just stating the truth.'

We dance a little in silence as I have decided not to respond to his flirt.

'Rose, would you like to go out for a drink with me one day?' wow, this man surely doesn't let go of things easily.

What do I say? I should refuse him because I cannot give him false hopes. But well, the sacrifices I have to do for my job.

'I guess I'd like that. But only if I have some free time. I can't promise you anything.' maybe I will find a way to excuse myself.

'Is he working you out?'

'No, it's not that bad.'

'Really?' he asks lifting his left eyebrow.

'Yes. Have you heard something else?'

'Well, you know that people talk.' Yeah? And what do you know about Dimitri anyways Ivashkov?

' _Well,_ then let them _talk_. Because all they do is to talk shit.' I respond a little too protective. He may be annoying as fuck at times and he is not quite a saint around women, but I guess Dimitri has a lot of good parts too, even if I haven't been there to see them all. He really seems to care about his employees and I am not only referring to myself now and I am keeping away the reasons _why_ he is that good with me in particular, but he is really thoughtful of the other people around there, even if there are so many of them working for him (just last week he gave a gratuity to one of the girls around just because next week she is due to give birth and he thought that the money might come in handy), so people really should stop talking shit about him, and, if I can do something about it, I won't let them do that.

But I don't get to defend my boss some more because the song comes to an end and Adrian keeps to his promise, thanks me, kisses my hand again and heads outside.

Well, my job here is done. I enter the dining area and take a look towards our table, planning to head that way. But my chair is now being occupied by some woman. If I take a better look at her, she is the same blonde woman Dimitri was kissing in the elevator on my first week at Belikov Enterprises, only that now she looks ten times better, dressed fancily and with her makeup on point. Nice. He brought her here too, as a backup maybe, in case his games with me won't work. But why didn't he ask her to accompany him instead of me? She would have been a better choice because she seems really willing to give him some, as she is shamelessly hitting on Dimitri, passing her hand all over his and having that silly smile on her face. Wow. So he quickly got over ''the most beautiful woman in here.'', right? So typically of him.

I don't sit around to look at the two lovebirds for longer because I have already seen enough. Just a second of looking at them is, in fact, more than enough for me. I turn my back on them and I let the burning flow of jealousy passing through me now to get out of my system by puffing loudly and snatching a glass of champagne from the closest waiter's tray and gulp it in a second. Then I get back into the dancing area, looking for another man carrying a tray, mingling with the people around the room, getting as far away from the place I know they are in so I won't have to go in there and hear their kinky talking. I am going to waste some of my time here until they decide to go upstairs and have a good time in bed.

And just when I begin to think that he might be different from what I heard on so many occasions, that he may not really be that kind of womanizer anymore because he really seemed to behave himself around the office, the women not coming around anymore, he gives me reasons to not believe that again. On some times I even considered responding to him, to let him have me, to allow myself to have him, but I just can't play this game he is playing. I would only want us to be exclusive, not for him to go around with everybody, but he doesn't seem to want that. Hell, I don't even know why I am trying to understand him and why I am letting myself get affected by all this shit. _I shouldn't care_. It's his life and he decides how to live it after all. He can't change just because I am hopelessly hoping he would.

As I am scanning the room for a third glass of champagne, my head already starting to feel heavier (maybe I should give up on the alcohol already, but I don't want to because it is making me feel better; and I promise not to get in bed with Dimitri again, scouts honor), someone pats my shoulder and as I turn I find a smiling middle-aged man telling me something I don't understand.

'Um, what?' Can't people leave me alone already?

'Dance.' oh, he wants to dance with me. Of course he wants. My night is just getting better.

But this is one of the men I saw Dimitri talk to earlier. Is he someone important? Shouldn't I be rude to him? Ah, you know what? I am not going to die from another dance and like this, I will get to keep myself away from the trays with alcohol. Plus, I won't look like a creepo by walking around with my grumpy face. It's a win for both of us. Then, I can just go back to my place and get bored to death again. It's not like I would like to interrupt Dimitri's flirt anyway. Who knows, maybe he will get lucky later this night and I won't have to see him for the rest of this interminable dinner. I'll just spend my time with Ivan. He seems funny and I might need someone to make me feel less shitty.

'Yeah, sure.' I say putting on a smile.

We get back and dance in silence. This is so funny if I think about it. We don't even speak and he doesn't even know who I am. So why did he want to dance with me in the first place?

 **DPOV begins**

I have been pounding my feet on this marble floor for the past three minutes and I think I am going to make a hole in it soon. Why do these songs have to be so long? I am sure that Ivashkov had enough time to try and charm Rose with his delightful personality. God, I can't suffer this man. It's true when they say that family is the one who messes with you the most. And when your family is someone like him, things are getting hard. But hell, I wouldn't be here if I would have had another chance. And he is totally aware of this and he's taking his time with fucking with me.

'It's so funny to be around the two of you. Mostly around you buddy. The faces you make are totally priceless. I am really sorry I couldn't come to Manhattan ever since you hired Rose, but if I have known how much fun I would have had, I would have dropped everything and practically ran over there. It's a pity that I can't go back to Manhattan with you either. I, unfortunately, have that thing with my mum to deal with. But t _hat_ would have been really fun. I would love to see how you tease each other. I would give my company away for a week with you guys.'

But I can't really listen to what he is saying. I am more preoccupied with watching the big arcade that is separating the ballroom from the dining room, waiting for Rose's return. But she is not coming back.

'Where is she? Ivashkov said _one dance_. Why is she not coming back? The song finished a long time ago. And the second one is coming to an end too. This would be their _third_.' It's too much. Way too much. I didn't want her to go with him in the first place, but I know I wouldn't have had any chance to make Rose not to go with him. She would have done it just in spite. These two combined are going to completely drive me insane.

Ivan laughs some more. 'Wow, Dimitri. This woman got you hooked big time. You used to like this woman that came by earlier, and now you haven't even paid any attention to, what is her name again? Karina? You practically jumped off the chair when you realized she touched you and you were one second away from flipping her off, just by trying to get rid of her. Doesn't she interest you anymore? Or are you only into long haired brunettes named Rose now?'

'It's not that, but-' he laughs some more. Well, yes. It kind of is like that and he enjoys way too much making fun of me.

'Is that jealousy I smell there Dimitri?' yeah, I am full of it. I can't even imagine Adrian's hands on Rose. It makes me boil with anger just by thinking about this. I don't bother to respond to my friend, I just keep on looking for her around the dining room, hoping that she would come back soon. And I hope she would come back alone. I can't look at them together.

 **DPOV ends**

The silent torture is about to come to an end and I am about to let go of this man and get back to the dining area when the man I have seen with Tasha earlier comes and simply takes me away from the last one, not giving me any chance to react.

'Just one dance, Rose.' he says giving me a weird smile. He knows my _name_? This is so wrong already.

He puts one of his sweaty hands fully on my back and pulls me a little too close to him. We are not completely touching, but we brush from time to time and this is making me very uncomfortable. If this fucker is horny and gets an erection soon I am going to feel it perfectly. _Fucking gross_.

'I don't _want_ to. Let _go_ of me.' I say gritting my teeth so hard that my jaw hurts.

His hand is now moving up and down on my back and I am totally mortified. My blood turns cold and I just want to get out of here. I am so angry that I think I am going to explode soon. Who the fuck does he think he is? I try to pull away from him a few times, but his grip is kind of strong and he keeps on repeating ''Just one dance.'' in order to make me stay.

'Get your _filthy_ hands off me or I swear to God that-'

'That what?' he asks with a grin. 'Are you going to do something? Are you going to scream? Are you going to cause a scene in here Rosie? Around all these people?'

And fuck, he is right. I don't want to make a scene because I am a little drunk too and things will end so bad if I take any action. I am loud when I am sober. You can only imagine how this thing will end now. I don't want to embarrass myself in here tonight. So I do what the hell I have to do, even though I hate every second of it.

 _Fine, Rose, you can do this._ Just one damn dance with this pig and you can get out of here and go scrub off a layer of your skin upstairs. Or maybe two. Yeah, better two.

As we keep on spinning around slowly on this song that seems to last forever, I see fucking Tasha eyeing us from the corner of the room with a grin on her face, then she goes on her way, heading outside. Oh, so this was her plan? What would everybody here think if I just go and slap the shit out of her? She deserves it and she is surely asking for it. After I am done with this guy I am going after her.

* * *

The song ends after what seems to have been centuries and changes into something slower. I am ready to get away and go look for Tasha, but this dick doesn't let go of me. He is squeezing on my hand harder than it should and the hand that is on my back is still pulling me towards him, not giving me any chance to pull away. If only my gaze could kill this man he would have been long gone. But my eyes don't have magical powers so I have to deal with this with my human powers.

I don't get to do anything because someone speaks again at a microphone distracting me, and everybody around us smiles and they get closer to each other. _Oh hell no!_ I see what's coming and I don't like it at all. This guy smiles at me and traces his hand down towards my ass and I can feel the light squeeze he gives it. I resist him as best as I can and manage to free my right arm, but he is still keeping my front glued to his. Okay, now I am officially scared. What can I do more without attracting all the attention? My heart begins to beat fast as hell and I feel that I don't have enough air to breathe normally. I think I am having a panic attack.

 **DPOV begins**

This is it. Three songs ended. I am not going to wait for the fourth to end. Not after I heard that man encouraging the couples to get closer. Adrian _won't_ dance this dance with her. I am going to make sure of that. I get up from the table.

'Where are you going?' Ivan asks jokingly. Laugh all you want. I don't care. We will see what you would do when you would find a woman like this for yourself. I throw him a hard glance and he laughs even more. He is surely not helping me with this thing.

I get away fast, dodging everyone on my way to the dancing area. I spot her relatively fast. It not that hard to find the most beautiful woman in here. She might not want to believe me, but she hasn't seen the way everybody is looking at her when she is not paying attention. The way _I_ look at her too. She might think that I am obsessed with her if she would catch me admiring her.

But as I take a better look at her companion, she is not dancing with Adrian. Thank God that he walked away. She is dancing with an older man that I don't know. Why did she have to be so nice and accept dancing with him? I just hope she would be nice enough to let me dance with her too. I have thought about that moment all day. All I want is to feel her close to me and if one song is all I might get, I will not say no to it.

I get closer in the hopes to be able to try my chances and even though I am quite far, I can see that Rose is very uncomfortable. I could pick up her mood from afar. No, she's not uncomfortable. That is a poor way to put things. She looks rather scared, but it is not that bad as I have seen her when she wanted to tell me about that thing back at the office. I still haven't found out what it was all about and each time I bring up the stomach thing she gets a little panicky and this only gives me the confirmation that she wasn't telling me the whole truth back then. But I will get to the bottom of that thing sooner or later. I am way too curious to let it pass.

I dodge some more couples and get the best sight of them. The man has a grin on his face and he is trying to pull her even closer to him, while his hand is making its way down on her body. She desperately tries to pull away from him, without letting anyone around know what is really happening. Am I the only one witnessing this thing or am I imagining things? Any way it is, I become enraged and I cover the little distance that is separating us.

 **DPOV ends**

But someone comes in between us, getting his back in front of me and making that guy let go of me completely. God bless you whoever you are.

 _'I'll_ dance with her.' That someone says with a harsh tone, sounding ready to kick some ass. Oh, it's Dimitri! It took me a second to realize. Thank God he is here! I don't know how else I could have gotten away of here without much scandal.

The man simply pulls a disgusted face, mostly towards me, and goes away without causing any problem.

Dimitri turns my way and places his hand on my hip, only on my dress, just as Adrian did, takes my trembling hand into his and I place the other on his shoulder. I lift my head to watch him and just by looking into his beautiful eyes, relief fills my chest and I let out a long breath. He gently brushes his finger on my hand and calms me down even more.

Still breathing heavily I thank him. I feel like crying in this moment and I do my best not to.

'Rose, are you alright? Did that man do something to you? If so I swear to God-' he seems so angry.

'No. It's okay. Really.' He looks at me, not really ready to believe me and he seems ready to go after that man. 'Honestly. I'm okay now. Thank you, Dimitri.' And after he considers things for a second, to my further relief, he decides to stay.

That man speaks again on the background. What the fuck does he want now? If I find who he is I am going to cut his jewelries off and push them down his throat and watch him choke on them.

Dimitri laughs a little.

'What happened? What's funny?'

* * *

 **Soooo. What do you think that man said?**

 **I think a little suspense won't do any harm.**

 **See you on Saturday!**

 **Lots of love**


	30. Chapter 30

**Dear blondjinjit, no, Adrian does not think Rose is an escort. It was just a way he was hitting on her, like, of course someone as beautiful as you wouldn't accompany Dimitri here unless it would be her ''duty" as she is his employee. Plus, Rose made it pretty clear that they would be having a meeting the next day.**

 **Oh, and this chapter is rated M for a little scene I introduced.**

* * *

'That man specifically told us that we should get closer, like everybody else in here now.' He says still smiling.

'Are you sure he's talking about us?' at why wouldn't the MC be talking about us? All the people around are glued to each other into an embrace. We are the only ones left with some distance in between us. And I see that some of them are looking at us, waiting for us to comply with that man's request.

'Well, you are the only woman in a silver dress in here.' I take another short look around and he is right. 'He said the lady in the silver dress and the man with a ponytail. And that would be me. So yes; I guess that he is speaking about us. But we don't ha- If you don't-'

 _'No_. I… It's okay.' In my selfishness, I don't want to waste the chance to dance with him. I wished this thing to happen all night long. Gosh, I wanted it so bad it started itching me on the inside. Not under these circumstances, but still. And now it is indeed happening. 'It's fine. Let's do this.' I don't want him to let go of me. Not now, not ever. And God, the way he is looking at me; just like I became again that ''the most beautiful woman in here'' he was talking about a while ago. At least I know that that is how I feel when he is looking at me like that. And that warm smile hasn't left his lips. And God, I know that I shouldn't let him charm me with that, but it is so fucking hard!

In a slow movement, he gets his palm on the middle of my bare back and drags me closer to him, gluing my whole body to his. My breath comes to a halt as we make contact. It feels amazing. I get my hand up on his arm, getting my palm close to the nape of his neck and without any conscious thought, I go even further and place my cheek on his chest, not being able to let this occasion pass either. I might have taken it too far because his breath comes to a halt too for a second, being probably surprised by my gesture, considering that all I do on a usual is to try to get away from him, but he doesn't do or say anything for that second. Then, he just relaxes and lets that breath go out through his mouth.

I feel really safe in this moment and this thing between us feels so right. I take deep breaths and close my eyes as we continue to dance, being taken into a world where nothing is bad and things aren't as complicated as they are in my real world. His fingers go up and down on me, brushing the skin on my back, very lightly at first but as I don't pull away as I know I probably should, he gets a little more confident, and each touch of his is sending little shivers all over my body. It feels so right to be here in his embrace. For a moment I let myself dream about how it would be if he'd ever love me, just me and no one else. But I guess I'll never know. I don't want to be just one of his many ladies.

After some minutes (thank God that the song was a long one) it eventually comes to an end but none of us does anything to get away from each other, we simply move lightly from side to side on a song that never came next because the music stopped. That MC has other plans. He joyfully starts speaking about something and all people around us start moving towards the dining room, them all managing to spoil that blissful moment Dimitri and I were sharing, and we have to, unfortunately, pull apart and we look at each other, being incredibly conscious of what had just happened. But in that moment I don't really care. Some of his heat is still lingering on my skin and I want to go back into his arms. And to never leave that place. To never let go of him. But we need to get moving, just like the others. We need to get back to being the ones we were before this dance.

'Would you like to go up?'

'Would that be okay?'

'Sure. I'll come with you.'

'You don't have to. I'll go on my own.'

'No, Rose. I'll come with you.' He says lastly and never lets go of my hand as we go up. I don't argue. I don't want to get lost along the way. And my hand fits perfectly into his. It's like they have been made for each other, just like some puzzle pieces.

He makes himself sure that I am alright and even offers himself to remain in here with me, but I don't want him to feel guilty about what happened, it surely isn't his fault, and I convince him that I am alright and that he should just go and enjoy the rest of his night. Plus, it is better for him not to be around me while I am in this state of drunkenness. We all know too well what happened last time.

After he leaves I can't decide if I want to peel off my skin or never wash it again so that his touch won't leave my skin. But I still take a bath as I can't leave the thought of that pig's hands on me. And as I am hallway through scrubbing my skin, I hear him coming back to the suite. Well, I managed to spoil his night, didn't I?

* * *

The fact that my brain is telling me to keep my distance from Dimitri, and the fact that I am managing to do a pretty good job on some days (excluding that one time when I had no control over myself, of course), it doesn't mean at all that at the same time, in my twisted mind I don't wish to do some other things with him too. A lot of things in fact. Kinky stuff especially because it is hard not to have a lot of bad intentions when you find yourself sitting next to him. I am sure that his sex-appeal is obvious from outer space. I am intrigued how come not a bunch of UFOs full with extraterrestrial women aren't invading the earth already. But hell, I am totally missing the point here. Let's get back to my bad intentions. This is especially what dreams are for, right? To make your dirtiest thoughts come true. Wet dreams to be more explicit. It seems that the image of him wearing that duster is engraved deep in my brain because this is the principal attraction of my dream. Again, as I have dreamt of him along our flight too, but that dream did not involve any action. On the other hand, this one does have a lot of action. Did I mention to you that he was riding on a horse too?

So, let me start from the beginning. I was some thief, Robin Hood style but only female, trying to bring my contribution to this world as best as I could, and I was on the run because I have just stolen some big ass pieces of jewelry from the mayor of the little town I was living in. And of course, Dimitri was the brave sheriff that was coming after me, trying to put my ass in jail. And we had some history, me managing to dodge him on some occasions and I knew in my head that this thing became something personal for him. For me too because I so loved to tease him, even in my dreams.

And somehow, despite my sneakiness, he got track of me and now he was after me. Literally. I was running barefoot on some steppe terrain, digging holes into the too dry ground, trying to get away in my long full dress as he was riding his horse coming to get me. Not fair, right? How could I outrun him for so long? Spoiler alert, I couldn't.

And he was so hot with his mahogany strands flying backward as the wind was blowing while he hopped up and down on that horse. He was wearing a pair of jeans and only his duster was covering the skin of his chest. And, that leather on his bare skin, man. Oh, and he had that shiny star too, pinned to the leather of his coat. There was no cowboy hat on his head, thank God because I never liked them. Plus, like that, I was getting a nice view of his beautiful face.

Finally, when I run out of my strengths to sprint, he catches me and drags me up in a swift movement, not giving me any time to react. I end up on the saddle, facing him, my legs spread on each side of the horse. I don't know if that is even possible in real life, but fuck it, I had no time to question the logic of things. I was way too distracted by the closeness between us.

We are close. A few millimeters apart. I am panting heavily from all that running and my chest is moving up and down rapidly. Oh, and I am wearing one of those dresses that has a deep cleavage and a corset that is pushing my boobs together and up, threatening to spill them over. And of course that he can't stop himself from looking at them. In my dream, he is no different from the real one. He is still watching me with that hungry glare that I completely love.

'My eyes are up here cowboy.' I say sassiness filling my voice.

As he didn't react to any of my words, I take matters in my own hands. Literally. I get my hand down on his body, just between his parted legs and grab him lightly, finally being able to catch his attention. And man, wasn't he hard. His eyes widen in surprise and he growls, calling me by my Russian name. Without any further notice, he unties the ribbon on my back and drags the material from my front down on my body, leaving me bare from the waist up and I can breathe normally again. Then, because he can't get under all the layers of my dress, he simply rips them one by one, pulling them apart fast and hard.

Then, all of a sudden, the décor changes and we are laying in his bed, but things are not totally like that night because we are still wearing those western clothes. But not for long because Dimitri takes rid of them quite fast and throws my ripped dress along with his clothes anywhere they have the chance to land. We are both too eager to bother with these minor things.

But the resemblance to that night stops here because we are trying something new now. He comes above me and half lays himself on me, the sensation of his erection pressing on my inner thigh through his underpants being enough to drive me closer to the edge. He does to me exactly what I did to him earlier when we were on the horse, his hand traveling down my body and then starts to rub his fingers slowly on the bare skin between my legs, pressing on my weak spot from time to time. As his mouth takes in one of my nipples and slowly nips on my skin he slips his fingers in me and I moan his name. He smiles smugly and only picks up the rhythm of his hand's movement, as his other is pulling me lightly by my hair, preventing me from tilting my head back and get my eyes away from him. It's like he _wants_ me to look him in the eyes while he is bringing me all this pleasure. And I can't complain either. That there, him rounding his tongue on my sensitive skin, watching me too, is such a sight everybody. But the things he is doing to me are kind of too much for me to take and I arch my back like crazy and start moaning hard as he continues these movements, my hands all over him too, trying to grip on his bare skin, desperate to keep myself steady. What can I say; things got heated up very fast.

I guess that I was pretty close to my release, but to my displease, everything stopped all of a sudden as I heard someone whispering my name. But this thing sounds different from what I was hearing in my dream. It's still Dimitri who is saying it, but as the dream fades away completely, I get that it's the real one who is speaking with me now. I open my eyes in shock and here he is, sitting on my bed, his face leaning over mine. Yup, it's the second time I wake up seeing him and I can't seem to get enough of it. He's so handsome! I can feel the heat from his palm passing on to my bare shoulder and I lose myself into the deepness of his eyes for the thousandth time. Gosh, Dimitri, don't be so close to me right now, please.

'Rose, is everything alright?' he asks, seeming amused.

I am suddenly very, _very_ aware of myself. The sheet that was supposed to cover me along the night is now entangled around and in between my legs that are still pressing hard onto each other and up on my body I am only wearing a tank top that has twisted big time while I was sleeping. One wrong move and my right boob might go out to greet Dimitri. So I decide not to move at all.

'I was having a bad dream.' I excuse myself fast. God, I hope that I am not blushing as I remember the real dream. And he being here now is not good at all either. He is only making the blood in me heat up some more.

'Really?' he asks into a sexy tone. Am I still dreaming or is he flirty in this very moment?

'Yeah, someone was chasing me with a chainsaw and…. and I was running into the woods and he got really close to me one time, just enough to catch me by my arm.' I try to add as many things as I can to make it look more veritable.

He raises an eyebrow. God, he is so hot when he does that. And the fact that he is in my bed and so close to me, considering what was happening earlier in my mind, yeah, it's not good at all. Red flag, people. Mature content might come into the program soon.

'And since when do people moan when they run?' he asks and another wave of heat shots through me and I gulp the air I almost choked on. Well, since they are running from you, sheriff Belikov. God, did I say his name too? Because in my dream I was. I so hope I wasn't. I don't want him to know I was doing it with him in my dream.

'No, I- I-' My eyes widen and I try to come up with a good enough answer to dispel his reasonable doubts, but none crosses my brain. I can't seem to have any rational thoughts when he is around me. His lips turn into that damn smile that makes my knees weak and to my further surprise, he comes closer. The hand that was on my shoulder travels up and he places it on my cheek, moving his thumb along the dry skin of my lips, as he seems to study me with his gaze. Is he going to kiss me? Should I pull away? I don't know what to do so I just freeze in place and watch what he is up to.

At his touch on my already heated skin, I let out a little sound somewhere between a sigh and a moan, but, in fact, it resembles more some kind of a whimper. It sounded really weird and it didn't indicate what I was actually feeling. It mostly sounded like someone was on his way to hurt me and I wanted to scream in horror but I wasn't really able to do that, even though it surely wasn't the case here. I swear I didn't want him to get the impression that I didn't like it. I really did! And I meant to moan for God's sake but my throat is just so fucking dry! I really liked it when he's touching me like this and all I can think of is him touching me all over. Ever since he touched my lips into that restaurant some long time ago, I often dreamt of him doing it again. And now when he is doing it again, the only thing I managed to do was to scare him. _Way to go, Rose!_

He stops immediately, his eyes widening and then he pulls his hand away fast and he gets up from the bed, letting my skin aching for so much more. He gets his hand through his hair and his expression gets back to being dead serious. I almost get up after him and tell him to come back and kiss the fuck out of me but I get a hold of myself quite fast and I don't end up doing anything stupid. Instead, I remain there on the bed, half laying and looking at him stupidly and bewildered. Wow. Did I manage to scare him that bad?

'I'll let you get ready. It's already late.' he says and leaves the room in a flash.

Okay, what the hell was that? He seemed so willingly a second ago and now he just got away from me as fast as he could. What is going on in that mind of his? But more important, what is going in _mine_? I guess that instead of complaining so much, I should be thankful that he didn't get any further. I promised myself one thing and I need to keep on to my promise, no matter how hard it gets at times. Maybe I should just go to a monastery and devote the rest of my life to Jesus because I can't see any other way of getting Dimitri out of my head.

I punch the pillows on my bed as silently as I can a couple of times, trying to get rid of all the frustration that has found home in me lately. But it's not working. It is fucking _useless_! Then, after some long breaths in and out I get my shit together and realize that I should get moving and get ready for another day of torture into the hell I created for myself. I look at the clock and it's around nine and I am very surprised that he even let me sleep for so long, instead of pushing me out of the bed at six.

I get breakfast with him at the restaurant downstairs. It's some interesting breakfast we have after what happened earlier this morning. The air around him seems so thick and I stuff my mouth with food in order not to have to talk with him for too long and I keep on avoiding his eyes, but every time they do meet he still seems amused by my weirdness. Yeah, I am sure that he didn't buy my nightmare story. And only God knows what he is thinking about what happened earlier.

After this, we spend a couple of hours getting everything ready for today's meeting, the tension between dissolving a little. But not completely. It would be hard to. He just heard me moaning like hell.

* * *

So this is the day we really came here for. I am nervous, but I know that we did our part impeccably and there is nothing more we can add. If this Ivashkov guy doesn't close the deal with us, he is such a fool. Hell, if I would have his money I'd put them all in without a second thought. But if he declines us, it's totally his loss and I am so going to give him a piece of my mind as he is the reason I have to get through all this torture with Dimitri.

At one o'clock we go to the large conference room in the hotel. Really, this building has everything you can think of in it. Even a spa that I have in plan to visit if I manage to rob a bank till noon. Damn you, rich people.

This room has a sober vibe that gives a clear message: we mean business. The only thing that makes the luxurious black table encircled by many black leathered chairs not to seem so serious are the walls, made entirely from glass, letting in a lot of natural light and giving a marvelous view of the Red Square. What is the deal with rich people and huge windows? Ah, what am I talking about? It's all about the view. Only the lucky ones get to have one like this when they look out their window. At least I will have where to direct my attention as I get bored to death at another meeting of this kind.

About two thirds of the chairs in the room are already occupied and people are still coming in; and there is not even a single another woman in this damn room except for me. It's like a no-girls-allowed party that I am totally ruining. Like, really? No other man in there needed his secretary? And it's such a pity not to see a woman in here. I have heard that this business domain might be a man's world, but I didn't think that there are so little women who dare to break the rules. At least in this case; I am so not generalizing this thing.

But then, what am I _doing_ in here? I really don't see the point of it. And the fact that everybody has to speak English just for me to be able to understand what they are speaking about, doesn't help either. I feel like a person with special needs. They would be better off without me. But if my boss says so, I must comply and follow him around. There wouldn't be any point in me arguing with his reasons.

Plus, only to add to my uncomfortableness, from the moment we entered, I could practically feel all the eyes pinned on me until I reached my spot. I tried to ignore most of them, but it is hard to do that, trust me. The dress that I am wearing now seems too short and I keep on pulling it down with each occasion I get. It's so weird to have so many eyes on you. Some of them are looking at me like they would want to do me on spot; others just give me a glance and let me be (God bless them) and some others are just wondering what the hell I am doing here. If one of the lasts finds out, please tell me. I really don't like being in here. And it is going to be a long meeting, I can feel it.

But finally, Adrian comes in and we can begin. In fact, Dimitri began to speak and everybody listened. He is _such_ a good speaker. So charismatic. And he is so passionate about everything he speaks about and makes you want to hear more, no matter what the subject is. I love this thing about him. And the fact that he is talking with that damn accent and he's so close to me only makes me watch him like a dreamy teenager. Oh, and my sexual frustration is not helping me at all to focus on anything else anyway. I don't think that I can keep myself together for longer being so close to him. This trip needs to end faster.

I don't know why, but from time to time, Adrian would stop Dimitri's speech and he would turn towards me and ask: 'What do you think about this, Miss Hathaway?' and 'What is your opinion about this or that?' or 'How do you think we could fix…insert any problem he has found here…', and I would just bring up some competent responses or a way to deal with some things he pointed out as defective. What is he trying to prove by doing that, I swear I have no idea. I was as surprised about this as Dimitri was when Adrian first interrupted him. I am not in fact here for that. Dimitri is the principal person they have to listen and talk to. Is he trying to make this meeting go wrong? Well, not on my watch, Ivashkov. I know this project inside out from all the weeks of planning it and there is nothing he could ask me that I don't know the answer of. So you can just fuck off.

As Dimitri was continuing his explanations, I took the liberty to study the people around the room, out of the boredom that was starting to make its presence felt. Two hours have passed since we are in here and I am already feeling like crawling up the walls. But as I was taking in each of the participants at this meeting, I see a familiar face. One I don't like at all. The same man from last night, the one who almost touched me all over. I didn't see he was in here as he had his back turned to me when I entered the room. Ugh. I so don't want him to be part of our deal with Adrian. And as he eyes me too, he winks at me and a smile spreads on his lips. I roll my eyes at him and look away, ignoring his existence for the rest of the meeting.

Later on, when I was asked the already usual questions by Adrian, being in a hurry and because I was pretty nervous about being around so many men that were pinning me with their glares, curious to see how I would deal with a little complicated thing, I didn't realize that I mispronounced some word and got a fact wrong. Very wrong to be completely honest. And it was a simple thing that I fucked. And that was the moment when some smartasses thought it was nice to laugh. My first instinct was to shot a harsh glance at Adrian, the one responsible for fucking with me, and when he gave me an apogeletically look, I was on my way to defy the others too, but Dimitri got ahead of me and shot them a hard glare and they stopped immediately. And things just went on, the people around not giving any importance to that incident anymore.

But I couldn't _not_ to pay any attention to it. I made myself little and begun to rub my hands under the table. I must have looked so fucking stupid. I am not! And I _hate_ to look like that, just like I hate crying in public. But as some man was continuing the conversation, under the table, Dimitri takes my hands into his right one, stopping my inner torment. I turn to face him. With a full of understanding face, he simply mouths an ''It's okay.'' And he doesn't let go of my hands for some seconds. Why was he this nice? I fucked up. And this was way too important for me to fuck up and he should have been angry with me. _I_ am angry with me.

Before taking a decision, they all voted. _Almost_ everybody was in favor of the investment, except for two men. And of course, Tasha's ugly companion was one of them. I got the confirmation that he is just as stupid as she is. And I dislike him even more now. I don't know what he is up to, but it doesn't seem good to me.

But it is all finally over and we can all chill out a little, thank God. After months of back and forth and four hours in this room, it is all done and we came out of this successful. We got ourselves a new business partner and I can't be happier about it.

* * *

 **And a real M scene (not only in a dream) is going to come soon :) just bear with me for a little longer**

 **See you on Monday guys!**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hello guys! Hope you had a great day.**

 **Soo, let's answer some questions first. No, Rose didn't moan his name, sorry. And I said that her tank top twisted, not lifted. So her boob was going to get out on the side of the tank top :) and so Dimitri didn't see her birthmark.**

 **And the M scene will come, but not yet. I know you are impatient as I have built the tension between them, but bear with me. It will come some time next week, so youl'll just have to wait for a few more chapters ;) before that I want to create some more drama. Lots of drama in fact**

* * *

Almost everyone is making their way out of the conference room (thank God I managed to get out of there along the first) but just to spoil my luck, I find out that I have to go back inside because, forgetful as I always am, I let my phone on my chair. And now I have to push my way back in there, getting past the people still making their way out and dodge the handful of the men that stayed behind to talks some more about how great this association is going to be and how much profit it will bring to their business and as I hear them, I can't help but let some pride fill me. We really did a good job here.

As I make my way toward my chair, I try to dodge the people as best as I can because there are still some of them on chairs around the table that decided to get up in that _exact_ moment (but what can you do?) and I even smile a little when I inevitably make eye contact with some of them. But what can I do? I am really happy that everything went well today. I may even go and ask for a gratuity or something. I think I earned it.

After I retrieved my phone, as I was about to head back out, I felt someone pinch my ass. _Really_? Doesn't anyone have any shame these days? I get it that they might think that they can take some freedoms with this shit when no one is around to see it and hold them responsible for groping people at their own will, but I am so not the woman to shut up and let it happen. He has just picked the wrong one to mess with. I am going to give him the biggest piece of mind I have ever given in my entire life. He just spoilt my whole cheerful mood he will definitely pay for this.

I turn around, my face already filled by disgust and I find a pair of jade green eyes staring hungrily at me. _You have got to be kidding me right now._ Him again? I know very well these eyes. I have looked into them for the longest five minutes of my life. It is the same man that winked at me about two hours ago and touched me all over last night. How could I ever forget him? He has a special place on my blacklist, just like his beloved new girlfriend. Why doesn't he just leave me alone? What did Tasha say to him about me? No matter what, it seems that this man has a wrong opinion about me and I need to change that right now. And I don't plan to do it the nice way.

'What _the fuck_ was that?' I ask taking a step back, creating distance between us. I don't want to be close to this man ever again. He simply disgusts me and he's not giving me the impression that he might stop touching me soon.

'Oh, come on, Rose, stop fighting it. I saw how you were looking at me earlier. And yesterday.' And a smug smile appears on his face. Oh, he is so fucking full of himself! Who the hell does he think he is? Some kind of ladies' man? Let me break it up to you: you are very, _veeeery_ far from that. Quite the opposite in fact.

And yeah _sure_ , I was admiring his ugly ass face. When did that happen? After the winking part, I purposely avoided eye contact with him and always avoided his spot. Then, some time later, I even forgot he existed. And yesterday the only person I looked at was Tasha. I didn't pay any more attention to him than to see who he is, a thing that took me less than five seconds. This man is surely nuts if he thinks that my terrified look from last night resembles somehow my flirty one. He is fucking delusional.

'Look, you got me wrong and you need to stop that _now_.' I point my finger at him, making him stop from taking a step in my direction. 'I am _not_ hitting on you or anything else. You do _not_ interest me.' didn't he get that already from yesterday when I was desperately pushing him away?

'Yeah, of course you are not.' he said while his fingers begun to caress my arm. I pull away violently and almost hit my arm on one of the chairs that was carelessly left behind by someone.

'Just leave me alone, _okay_? I don't know what you think in that head of yours, but I am _not_ interested. Not yesterday, not now, not _ever_.' I say beginning to raise my voice. Is this guy serious?

'Oh, come on, Miss _Hathaway_ ,' he says my name trying to sound sexy but I swear that is the worst way I have ever heard it being said. 'Don't play the unapproachable. I know that women like you like to pretend to be hard to get. I get it. Now let's move forward to some more pleasurable things. Like-'

'Wait, wait. First, there won't be any _pleasurable_ things going to happen between us, not in a billion years, so get that shit out of your head grandpa. And what were you saying? Women like _me_? What the hell does that want to mean?' I am already fisting my palms, trying not to attract all the attention of the people out in the hallway. But some of them are already making their way back as they have been drawn by my raised tone. But you know what? No one says a fucking thing; they all simply stare at us and wait for some other shit to happen.

' _Loose_.' He says like it would be the most normal thing in the world. 'And don't pretend you don't like it.' he says pinching me again.

This is it; I am so done with this thing. 'How _dare_ you?!' I yell as I slap the shit out of him, his cheek turning red the second my palm leaves it. And it fucking stings! But I am not going to let him treat me like this. I am already preparing myself for another slap if he doesn't move out of my face soon.

'What? Hearing the truth hurts? Why wouldn't you want me? I have enough money to treat you right. And I know you have had many men before. Everybody knows that, so don't pretend you are a saint because you aren't.' Yeah, _maaaany_ other men. Since when did one turn into a million? Have the meaning of numbers changed overnight and no one was nice enough to give me a heads-up?

And now he tries to be gentle with me, getting his arm up and heading towards my cheek, into a gesture that I should interpret as nice maybe. But I only find it gross. I take his hand out of the way and yell some more.

'Don't you touch me ever again, you _motherfucker_! And stop talking shit! Or else the next thing I am going to hit will hurt you so much mo-'

'Rose, is there something wrong?' Dimitri suddenly asks, coming out of nowhere. Of course he heard this thing too. The whole building might have heard it too. Why isn't everybody around coming in here to see me kick this asshole's ass? I may just get to sell some tickets too.

'Well, _Mister_ Belikov, _Rose_ over here is sending mixed signals.' God, won't he stop talking shit already?

'I am _what_? You are the one who winked at me _and_ pinched my ass. _Twice_. And yesterday you- _I didn't do anything!'_

I make a step towards him, wanting to punch him good this time, to see the blood flooding out from his nose, but Dimitri catches me by my elbow and drags me back just in time. All I want is to at least give this man a black eye, and I don't stop resisting his grip, but I can't get out of Dimitri's clasp. I tell him to let me deal with the fucker, but he doesn't let me. Instead, he comes in between us, just like he did last night, pushing me a little behind him into some protective act. Not that I don't appreciate it comrade, but I have dealt with men talking shit like him before and I could have handled things on my own. And now that there was not that much public around like last night, there was nothing that could stop me from going after this dick. Nothing could have made me happier than to smack him.

 _'You_ again?' Dimitri turns to the guy and throws him a bad glare. Gosh, if only looking at someone could kill. 'Apologize to her. _Now_. And I don't want to see you near her ever again.'

'Hey, I didn't do anything she didn't _ask_ for.' Ha! _I asked_ for it? No, he is the one asking for a broken nose. And Dimitri seems to be even more eager than me to fulfill his wish.

In an instant, with one hand, he grabs the man's collar and drags him closer, practically lifting him off the ground as their faces millimeters are apart now. I guess that the cowboy moral code kicked in. But it kicked in a little too hard I may add. 'I said to apologize to her _now_.' He growls and he is so furious. I remember his first outburst back at the office and I get the feeling that now he might do something reckless. He is always so composed and so in control of himself and seeing him acting like this doesn't seem right. He is not like this. _I_ am the one who is acting stupidly without giving a second thought to things, but it seems that this time the places have been changed. So this means that I must be the rational one now.

I try to make him stop before things end up worse than they already are, but he doesn't want to listen and he is one second away from punching him, his palm already fisted. Sincerely, I begin to get scared big time, just like the man he is holding now. All his cockiness disappeared, he's not muttering any other word, and he looks like he has just shit his pants. That's good. He really should be scared for himself now. I saw how Dimitri is when he is mad. What he is doing when he is mad, I surely don't want to find out, even though this man surely deserves it. I have a wild guess that it involves a visit to the hospital for the one who pissed him so much. Or straight to the morgue. And I know that this guy isn't worth the trouble.

I get to one side and place my hands on Dimitri's cheeks, forcing him to give me his attention. When I catch his eye, I try to make my voice get past the cloud of anger that is clouding his mind. 'Dimitri. Hey, listen to me.' I speak softly and to my luck, his expression softens. 'Please stop this. He's not worth it.' and he takes one more look at the bastard he is holding, considering things. It takes him a moment, but he finally puts him down but doesn't let go of his shirt yet.

'Look at me.' He shakes him a little. 'You are a _very_ lucky man at this moment.' He says, venom dripping on his words. God, this thing triggered him so much. Hell, he is way angrier than I am. 'But you won't get away with this easily.' Ouch, this doesn't sound good at all. 'I will personally-'

'Is there something _wrong_?' oh, just perfect!

Adrian came around too. The situation just keeps on getting better and better. Why don't all of them just come back and watch? I'll make them some popcorn and really get selling those tickets I was planning to make earlier.

But I don't get to explain the situation because Dimitri speaks ahead of me. 'Yes, there _is_ _something_ wrong. This man right here just sexually assaulted Rose.'

'Is this true?' Adrian's face fills with bewilderment as he looks at me.

'Well, he-' That _is_ some kind of sexual assault, right? I nod in response and look down at my shoes. As I completely take the information in, I get ashamed. And I feel so dirty again. Last night he didn't manage to do much, but now, it was bad. He did manage to pinch on my ass twice. I turn my glare to the man who made me feel like this. God, if only I could have moved faster earlier, he'd be long having a bloody nose. But all of a sudden, his courage came back now that Dimitri let go of him. This bastard has no shame. He is watching me too, no sign of regret passing over his face. ' _Go to hell_.' I respond to his glare and he smiles satisfied with himself. Okay, he needs a visit to a psychiatrist ASAP.

'You are fired. _Go_.' Adrian says strongly, his tone cold as ice and the man simply leaves, without uttering another word, just throws a hard glare in my direction just like last night. Yay to me! It's not like I am the one who asked for it, okay?

'Maybe you shouldn't have-' I begin to say. For a second, I feel bad for that guy somehow. He was a dick, but he has just lost his job. What if he has a family? _No_. He fucking deserved it. He should have thought about that thing earlier. And maybe he even deserves worse.

'Rose, I will not tolerate that kind of behavior in my company. And I am deeply sorry for this. My sincerest apologies. I hope that I will be able to make it up to you for that. '

* * *

Everybody being sent on their way by Adrian and a whole bunch of apologies from him later, Dimitri and I head towards the elevator in silence. But he stops me along the way.

'Rose, are you sure you are okay?'

'Yeah. Yes, I am.' I respond as I continue walking towards the elevator. I guess I am okay. No one really touched me like _that_ before. Most guys were resuming to throwing glances in my direction and very suggestive words. And that I could deal with. I feel rather violated and I don't really want to be around many people right now so I am kind of hurrying to get into my room and be alone for some time and Dimitri simply follows me, keeping some distance between us but still being around me, probably understanding my need from my absent tone.

We finally make it to the end of the hallway and get into the elevator. I lean over the mirror with my back and watch the numbers on the panel light one by one as we make our way up.

But I can't understand why this entire thing happened. I puff loudly and impatiently tap the floor under me with my foot. _Why_?

And of course Dimitri notices that; how couldn't he? I am still overflowing of rage. He makes me face him and questions me some more. 'Rose, what's the matter? There _is_ something wrong. Tell me.' So I go and get this thing off my chest.

'I don't know. It's just that I don't understand what that man wants from me. I didn't do anything of what he said.' I just feel the need to excuse myself. I wonder how many of the men in there really believed what that fucker said and I don't want Dimitri to be one of them, no matter how much of our conversation he heard.

His lips curl lightly into a sad-like smile and he places a hand on my shoulder. 'I know you didn't Rose.' Oh, wow. He thinks so highly of me. I wonder if his opinion would change if he would know the things we did together on that drunken state. Thank God I will never find out.

'Thanks. But… I mean… last night he was at the table with Tasha and then he came to dance-'

 _'Tasha_?' he asks face full of surprise. ' _Is she here?'_

'Yeah, I thought you knew.' But from his face, I get that he really didn't. And he is confirming me that by shaking his head no. 'Well, she _is_ here. Or at least she was last night. And she was seated next to this man at one table into the back of the room and I thought he was with her or something but then he came to me and did all these things. Why would he do that? I didn't do anything to provoke him, I swear.'

'Don't worry about this anymore, Rose.' He says already seeming to get pissed again.

'How can I? What if he-'

'I will take care of this.' He says determination filling his voice and with that, the conversation is over. I don't really dare to ask for more information. I never got to know what he did to solve this problem either but I guess he had a nice talk with that man as Dimitri promised him he won't get away that easily. And probably with Tasha too, if she is really behind this show that happened earlier. And I have the certainty that she is. I mean, she always had a thing for attacking me, but really, this is kind of low, to put a man touch me all over just to get back at me, even from her, whatever reason she would have.

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

I think Rose had a really bad day today as she excused herself from going to have dinner and decided to go to sleep instead. And I surely can't blame her. She seemed off ever since that thing happened and nothing I tried succeeded to take her out of that bad mood, so I finally gave up and let her be alone. She really seemed to need it.

After she got to her room, I called Tasha and asked her to meet me. I can't leave things like this and I need to get to the bottom of what happened today to Rose. Tasha's presence here can't be just a coincidence.

I was sipping on my second glass of whiskey when she finally made her entrance. She comes in front of me and places her expensive purse on the table then slips her skinny body on the seat in front of me. She seems happy to see me as she has a persistent smile on her face. Well, I can't say the same about myself. I am quite the opposite. And the fact that she was long in coming here didn't help my mood either. I absolutely dislike people being late.

'Sorry I got here late. It just took me much more than I expected to get ready. But hey, it took you a while too to call me, Dimitri. And I was surprised to see you call. But here I am now, all ready for you babe.' And she tries to touch the hand I am keeping my glass in but I pull it away just in time. I didn't come here to flirt. She wrinkles her nose and gets her hand back. 'I saw you didn't get rid of that woman. But I can live with it. You can keep her around if you want to.' And she expects me to agree to her or something, but I am just thinking of what to begin with. I have so many things to tell her. 'So, have you finally come to your senses? I guess this is why you called me, right?'

'No.' why does she think that I want to be with her again? I made it obvious enough, didn't I?

' _No_?' she asks surprised by my answer. 'So why then?'

'What connection do you have with Victor Dashkov?' I just wonder how Tasha stumbled over him, from all people.

I made my homework and found everything I could about this man. He is not that important around our circles, even though he kind of used to be. Lately, he just worked for Adrian. But he had some wealthy parents that left him a huge amount of money when they died. Too bad that he didn't know how to manage his trust fund and along the years, he ended up spending all his money on useless things. With the last money he had, he took a shot and opened a business some years ago, and from what I remember this little company of his once tried to compete with mine and well, things didn't work out nice for him in the end. But, this is how the business world works. You risk everything you have and take what you get. After that, things were going well for him at Adrian's company. I guess he should have thought twice before doing what he did to Rose. And he is only to get it coming worse. From me.

Her face goes blank for a second. 'None. Who is this man you are talking about?'

'Don't play the fool with me. Rose told me otherwise. You were sitting next to him yesterday. So you know him.'

'Oh, so now you are listening to _that_ woman, huh?'

'She has a point. She saw the two of you together and then he came and made all these things to her. It's not just a coincidence. I know you, Tasha.' At least this I know, that she is the most vengeful person I have ever met. And as I have found, she hasn't been the nicest person to Rose. All of this makes sense.

'Well, she is _wrong_. Stop believing everything she says to you. She is just a lying bitch. Can't you see?'

' _Don't talk_ like that about her. She is-'

'Oh, _now_ I get it. She really _is_ the reason you broke up with me.' She laughs. 'I have seen the way she was always walking around, trying to seduce you. I thought that you were just having some fun with her but I just didn't think you'd fall for that shit. She is just after your money. Can't you see her real face, Dimitri?'

'I am not going to say it to you again. Stop talking like that about her. Plus, Rose is not the reason I broke up with you, and you know it.' I honestly have no idea why she is blaming Rose for our defective relationship. She only made me realize that what I was doing was wrong. Tasha has no idea what she is talking about. Yeah, I have started having feeling things for Rose, but that doesn't change the fact that Tasha and I weren't getting along for quite a while.

'But of course she is. And that girl has no shame. I am glad that what happened happened. She needed someone to put her to her place.' Her words make me very angry.

'From where do you know what happened?' she doesn't respond to me, realizing that she just gave herself away. 'Tasha, listen to me. You need to stop anything that you are doing. Leave. Rose. Alone.'

'But I didn't do anything!'

'I know it was you. And you need to stop. Otherwise, both of you will regret it.'

'Yeah? And what are you going to do?'

'I don't know yet. But I guess I can find something.'

'Wow, did you just threaten _me_ for _that_ woman? What did she _do_ to you? What? Are the two of you together now? Did you get that fast over me?' I don't think I ever was into you into the first place. Not wholly. I have never felt _things_ when I was with her. Not the way I feel them when I am around Rose.

'No. And even though this is none of your business, there is nothing going on between us.' Although I can feel this desire burning inside my chest. 'And she didn't do anything to you. So let her be. She has nothing to do with what happened between the two of us and you know it very well, so stop looking for someone to put the blame on. If you are looking for someone to blame, blame us, blame me. I am the one who did you wrong. And we weren't getting along for a while when she became my secretary. So don't blame her for what happened. Things between us should have ended a long time ago.'

'Stop _protecting_ her. I know women like her. She is nothing more than-'

'Watch your words, Tasha. You don't want to say those words, trust me.'

'Fine. Then listen to _these_ words. You are mine and that slut won't have you, you get me? You are _mine_.'

'No I am not. There is nothing going on between us. Not anymore Tasha. Can't you _get_ this?'

'Not if I have something to say about that.' She says emphasizing every word.

'Trust me; you don't want to get further with this thing. You'll regret it.' But she doesn't listen to me; she just gets up the chair and grabs her purse.

'I know you'll come back to me when you'll get bored of her. I'll just be waiting.' and with that said, she left the bar.

Perfect. Now I have one more thing to keep my eyes on. Who knows what she would be capable to do next? I don't get the feeling that she just might be waiting patiently.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

 **Have a nice week everybody! See you on Wednesday :)**

 **Lots of looove!**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey!**

 **Sooo I think I'll have quite some things to say today.**

 **First, I will start using quotation marks when people speak instead of my apostrophes, as it has been brought to my attention that it would be easier for you to read :)**

 **blondjinjit, it slipped and yes, I didn't mention where Dimitri and Tasha met. Consider they met at the bar in the hotel, as I already said that Dimitri was having a drink :) I like it how you guys are so observant**

 **And, dear guest and Julia, I am not going to take any amiss about what you said. In fact, I get what you are trying to say. I have reviewed what I have written so far and I see that you have a point. I like slow progress because missing the time, I am usually writing the chapters on the same day I post them, but I have come to the conclusion that the progress I am making may be quite slower than it should be and that in fact I am not saying much of what happens, just as you said, one event or two is taking place in my chapters and I get that that might start to be frustrating for you. All I can say is that I promise to try put more "action" in my writings and more things happening in them, but I cannot guarantee that that will happen all of a sudden. I still like describing things, that is my style, but I am going to work on it though. I want to improve myself :)**

 **And Julia, that M scene will come. I promise. Monday is the day.**

 **I really appreciate all your comments, opinions and constructive criticism, it really makes me want to get better.**

 **Plus, today I was feeling like being super extra dramatic and I kind of prepared things for the next chapters. Hope you all won't hate me for what I will do next, but I just couldn't help it. Call me over dramatic, so be it, but I am still going to do it. I have said before that I am planning to make things go down so the next chapter is the one in which that happens. But things are going to be okay in the end, I promise :)**

 **And as today I have gotten this idea of how I want the next things to be dramatic, I am planning to update on Friday too guys (this Friday only as I am having some free time these days and I am into a writing mood; I don't think I will make it a habit tho), so see you then!**

 **As always, lots of love!**

* * *

On Thursday we had nothing to do. The business being taken care of, we ran out of things to do around here. But we can't get back home either. Dimitri is having something to take care of on his headquarters on Friday morning, some papers having to be taken care of for making the partnership with Adrian official and this is the reason we aren't leaving yet.

And I thought to myself: yay! This is perfect. Two days for me to get bored in this hotel room and to get to think about what happened yesterday over and over again. But that didn't happen. Dimitri decided that since we are already here and since it is my first time visiting Moscow, he would take me out to see the town. So I said why not? It's not like I had anything else better to do.

He took me to some of the most important places around and from there we just decided we should wander around, getting to see the other parts of Moscow. We walked all over town. And it is huge! But it is indeed a beautiful town. I love all its traditional architecture. There is something spectacular about it. And the colors man. The way they are combined made my brain go ecstatic.

It was a full day and I didn't even realize when all that time passed, that good I was feeling. Just to be with Dimitri and to be walking from one place to another, talking, eating a lot of new stuff and even laughing was more than enough for me to recharge my batteries. He always has this good effect on my mind, making me feel better just by being near me.

But when we got back at the hotel I realized that physically, I was fully drained of energy, but I was happy too that I could find the perfect gift for Lissa. We found a tea shop, and apparently, Russian people love tea as much as Lissa does. From there I bought her like ten different types of tea. I really hope that she would enjoy all of them. After this, we got to an outside variety store and I found a beautiful metal lacquer box that had printed on it The Kiss by Klimt, Lissa's favorite artist. That I know for sure would make her happy.

And I am really thankful that he did get me out of my room that because he really helped with my bad mood, managing to make me forget about yesterday's events and to get to really enjoy this town. And I got to understand that he is quite a nice companion.

Seeing Dimitri so relaxed is a new thing too. We weren't employee and employer for a day. We were like some friends hanging out. We had fun. It was nice to see this part of him. And for once, ever since I met him, I really thought that he might actually be interested in me and in who I am rather than my body; you know, he seemed to like me, not just in a sexual way. He seemed so different from the arrogant bastard I thought he is and that I stumbled over some months ago. I won't bet all my money on it, but we are somehow getting to the status of friends. Things are moving slow. This is good I guess. We are getting somewhere, slow. But we are definitely moving forward. Maybe one day, not far from this one, things will get to be way better than they are now.

But even though, I have no idea how to approach things now. Maybe I should just let things follow their course and see where they get. But it's hard with me having to keep a secret from him. I kind of feel guilty for doing that. But now I just can't tell him all of a sudden, ''You know, we banged once when we were drunk but you don't remember the most part of it and I hid it from you.''. He might get mad at me and I don't think I could blame him. Or he would just go back to being himself by finding he already had me. Gosh, it is so hard not knowing what to think about him.

* * *

Around nine in the evening, after I finally snuck into my room to get some rest, I get a call. I snatch my phone out of my backpack and stare at the screen. It is a number I don't recognize. It's not even an American one. Who wants something from me in fucking Russia? But I respond anyway.

"Hathaway speaking."

"Hello, Rose. It's Adrian." oh wow, he isn't going to let go of me that easily. And from where in hell does he have my number? "I hope I am not disturbing you." Ah, he's so thoughtful.

"Hi! No, it's okay."

"I have tried to reach you all day but you only answered now." I take a look on my phone and see that I have like five missed calls from his number. Whoopsie. I was really into my walk with Dimitri if I didn't even hear my phone.

"Well, sorry for that. But I was quite busy today." What else can I say? This is the best excuse.

"And you still claim that Belikov's not working you out?" he asks amusedly.

"Yeah, I am pretty sure he's not." Even though I wouldn't mind him to work me out in other domains that don't involve work.

And then comes silence.

"Sooo, you just called me to hear my voice?" I try to introduce a joke because the conversation is getting weird.

He chuckles. "Yes. That surely is one of my reasons." He answers with a sexy tone. _Way to go Rose. You just gave him a free chance to flirt with you some more._

"And what are your other reasons?" I try to sound as serious as I can, wanting to defuse him.

"Yes, there are plenty. But mainly, I called to ask if you are free tomorrow around four."

I knew it! He is not going to give up on that drink I somehow agreed to. But you know what? He seems to be a nice guy, leaving the flirting part aside. And I kind of gave him hope after all. And I might need someone to keep me distracted from my boss right now. Maybe distancing myself from him a little will shed some light on my confused thoughts.

"Yes, I am."

"Oh, this is perfect!" He says excitedly. "I'll come to get you; you won't have to bother with anything. See you tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

And finally, after a good night's sleep, it's Friday and later today we are going back home. I really miss Lissa and I can't wait to see her again. Even seeing Christian again seems a good idea, despite his annoying sarcasm. And even though this bed I am sleeping in now is heavenly, I really miss mine. Or the stability of having a thing to get back home to if not a somebody.

Excluding some unfortunate events, I can say that these days got by just fine. I have to admit that Lissa was right and I really should stop seeing things that pessimistically. What I feared would happen didn't and I can't be happier about it. And to my further joy, Dimitri was more human than I ever expected him to be, this being quite a sudden change. Did I finally manage to tame the beast? Well, my hard work is now paying off it seems. What more can I wish for from this trip? Things are working great.

I woke up around nine and after I took a long hot shower I got to the living room. And I found it empty. Dimitri told me he had something to do into the morning, but I didn't think he would leave so early. And I didn't expect him to leave without me either. But I am so not going to complain. I am full of dealing with stacks of papers and I prefer laying on the couch rather than doing business now. And well, he'll be back later.

So I hang out in the living room, enjoying the comfort of the sofa that had been Dimitri's bed for these past days, watching TV, trying to understand the plot of the 31st episode of some romance TV series I found, but that is a hard thing to do at first because it is in Russian. But that is some real action out here, guys. It gets me hooked fast. And I am doing a quite good job at putting the pieces together as the things are unfolding in front of me. From what I can see, I know that he fucked up already, managing somehow to hurt her and now he is being very sorry for that and he is doing everything in his powers to change himself (really now; why is everyone depicting this thing where love changes everything? Sometimes, people won't change no matter what; _ahem_ ; you know who I am referring to; old habits never really die, don't they? So what is the point of giving people false hopes?) and he's trying to get the girl back. And she is so hurt by whatever the hell he did and she is wallowing in her pyjamas, eating ice cream and watching romance movies all day long. Pff. So cliché. Do girls really do that? I know I never did with the few guys I dated. Oh, and to make everything more interesting, they made him the Russian Mafia boss. Pff, of course he is the bad boy type. But I still don't stop watching it. You know how much I love clichés.

I am still watching the same episode as someone knocks at the door. And it's not Dimitri. He has a key. So, who is visiting? I just hope that it's not Adrian. I open and it is room service. But I haven't called for them. Unless I have amnesia and I can't remember the last hour.

"Good morning, Miss! Mister Belikov told us to bring these up for you."

"Um, okay. Thank you."

The boy put the plates on the table and left.

Did he order me breakfast? It's so nice and thoughtful of him. I take off the covers and I find a stack of waffles with chocolate dripping from in between them, a fruit salad, a big omelet, some bacon, toast and butter, some small cinnamon rolls and all kind of pastry. Okay, how much does he think I actually eat? No one ever gave me this much credit for the amounts of food I eat. When I would get meals with him this week I would usually ask for seconds because the food in this restaurant is simply amazing, but even this is way too much for me to eat. But meh, fuck it. I sure as hell will try all of them because they look so tasty.

As I feast myself on the goods, I continue watching TV. It seems that it is my lucky day because I catch some marathon of that TV series to entertain myself with. I decide that I don't like the main male character. But damn, his best friend is so fucking hot I might jump on him if I would see him in real life. And he resembles Dimitri, just that he has his hair a little shorter, which is another reason I think he attracts me. Damn you, Dimitri, why am I comparing every man I see with you? I can't seem to like anyone lately unless he is 6'7, has a Russian accent and smells like heaven.

As I grab the plate with the cinnamon rolls, from under it, a piece of paper falls off the table. I didn't see it being there before. I take it and find Dimitri's neat blocky handwriting. It is a note and it is addressed to me: ''Good morning, Rose. I ordered you breakfast. I didn't know what you would like so I choose different things. I hope you'll enjoy some of them. I will get back around two. Have a good day.' Awwww, he ordered me breakfast _and_ wrote me a note? That is so fucking nice! He's thinking so much about me.

 _Rose, stop acting like there is something between the both of you. Now! He is just acting normal. He thought that you may not be able to order it yourself and he did it for you. Don't interpret everything wrongly and jump to stupid conclusions._ Yeah, right, thanks for reminding me that brain.

* * *

He got back around four, in fact, and he was speaking on the phone when he entered the suite.

I was already prepared for my little encounter with Adrian and I resumed to wearing my jeans, a nice short black turtleneck that was leaving my belly visible a little and a simple pair of black military-like boots. I wasn't going to make much fuss about this. We were just going to get a drink and have a talk, nothing more. I will make sure I am going to set some boundaries with this man. He can't keep on flirting with me while I am not interested at all. He seems a nice guy and I really don't want him to get me wrong.

At about five minutes after Dimitri came back, Adrian knocked at the door. As I am putting on my left boot, I hop along the room, hurrying respond and getting past a confused Dimitri. I guess he didn't expect for someone to come around. I open the door and there he is, Adrian, dressed into black jeans and a satin shirt that combines wonderfully the red, yellow, orange and black into complicated tribal patterns. The first two buttons of the shirt are unbuttoned and lets visible a small part of his chest. His hair is purposely ruffled as always and he has a warm smile on his lips. He indeed looks good. If I wouldn't hopelessly be in love with my boss, I would consider giving this guy a chance. And to make me feel even worse for probably giving him some false hopes tonight, he is holding in his hand a big bouquet of pink tulips that he extends to me.

"Thank you, they are wonderful, but you didn't have to bother, Adrian." I said after hugging him.

"Rose, it is my pleasure."

 **DPOV begins**

As Rose goes to her room, I take a look at Adrian. What the hell is he doing here? But I don't get the chance to speak first.

"As I am already here, I want to tell you something."

"What?"

"I think I am going to go back with you to the States." His request comes as a strike to my head. He is what? I don't like the games he is playing.

"Why?"

He smiles. "I don't know. Maybe just because of the business." Then he doesn't say anything else.

"So, what are you doing here? Apart from informing me."

"Isn't it obvious? I am taking Rose for a drink down at the restaurant." He is _what_? God, I don't like this thing at all. I hoped that by getting her to come with me here she would get closer to me, not to him. Why does he have to get his nose everywhere? It is more than enough for me that we now have to be partners; I don't want him to go around and try to get Rose in his bed. And why did she agree to go out with him in the first place? "I heard it's great. Didn't you?"

"Can't you just keep it in your pants for once Adrian?"

"Ha! Look who's talking." It surely feels nice when someone is rubbing your bad behavior in your face. But I guess I kind of deserve it. But it's not like I am going to let him know that. And to hell if I am going to let him treat Rose just like any other of the other women he has been with.

"This thing is not about me. I know how you work." Just like I did before meeting Rose. Sometimes even worse. "And if you even plan to do something to her I swear to God Adrian that-"

"Whoa there, dear _cuz_. I get it that she is your secretary but she has a mind of her own, okay? And she _agreed_ to go out with me; I didn't force it on her. Plus, she is different." Yeah, I have found out that too. She is wonderfully unique. "She is not an easy one to get. She seems feisty." He says smiling. "So don't worry, she'll be fine with me. She's a big girl."

"Yeah, sure. But I am still going to stick up to my promise." I will beat the hell out of him if he even _thinks_ about hurting Rose.

"Fine, fine. If it matters so much to you, I promise I will behave. Are you happy now?" he responds snarly.

" _Very_."

"I don't get one thing. Why are you so pro-"

The door of the living room opens, Rose getting back in the room and Adrian stops speaking, so I just resume to throwing a glance at Adrian, indicating him that I am totally not kidding. If he tries anything, I will find out about it and I will make his life a living nightmare. I am very capable of doing this, considering that he owes me very much lately.

 **DPOV ends**

I let Adrian in as I go to put the flowers into some water. When I come back, the two men were speaking something and suddenly stopped as I came closer. _Weird_. I pass Dimitri who was simply watching us now with his arms crossed, not saying anything. He has the same attitude my father has every time some of my boyfriends would come around the house to pick me up. This is even weirder than their secret conversation, but I let it pass. I don't care if he has some bad blood with Adrian. That is their problem. I am still going to grab a drink with him. He is nice to be around.

I said a ''Goodbye Mister Belikov'' to a very annoyed man I dare to say from his body language (gosh, he really doesn't like Adrian; I just wonder what happened between the two of them) and went out with Adrian. Maybe I should have announced him about this? Is this why is he so upset? He may have planned something for today? If so, _he_ was the one who should have given me a heads-up. But well, the damage is already done. He'll get over it.

Adrian took me to the bar, restaurant-bar-something into the building. And, as everything here, this place overflows with elegance. It has a very modern air, with a lot of pink neons that are the only source of light, making the place more intimate.

We sat at the bar and ordered. He got some whiskey and I resumed to some Limoncello. And gosh, we really talked. He is so easy to be open with, so easy to be around, as I don't have to be constantly worrying about not letting my feelings for him slip, because I don't have any, of course.

 **DPOV begins**

The second the both of them left the room, I called Ivan and told me to meet me at the restaurant they were going to go. I am not going to move my eyes from them tonight.

And as I am watching them talking, thank God that they are just talking and nothing more, and drinking, Ivan comes and sits just next to me.

 **DPOV ends**

"Rose, you are very beautiful tonight."

"What? Wearing _these_? Yeah, sure. I had better days, trust me." How can he say this when he just saw me wearing that dress I was totally rocking? Now I am one hoodie away from looking like a hobo. And I dressed like this on purpose. Hell, I didn't even put on make up.

"I am only stating the truth. You have to know that I never lie."

"But you just did two times already."

He didn't respond, just resumed to smiling and shaking his head. Yeah, I am so not going to let him get his flirts further tonight. I just hope he gets my message.

 **DPOV begins**

"Whoa there man. Isn't she going to get upset when she'll see you here? Like, isn't this some kind of an extreme stalking thing?"

"At this point, I don't care. I want to _know_."

"To know what?" he asks as the waitress comes and hands him a menu. "Wait a second. Do you want to eat something?"

I shrug. "Don't know. Not really." I am more preoccupied with what is happening in front of me that to fill my belly with food. Rose is laughing and gosh, she looks so relaxed when she is with Adrian. Why can't she be like that when I am around? The only time I have seen her like this was yesterday when I took her out for that walk around the town. Am I that scary to be around?

He puffs. "We'll have two of these." He says and the waitress leaves, leaving us alone again. He wiggles his hand in front of me, distracting my attention from Rose getting up from her chair and I look at him. They have just got up and headed outside. But they didn't leave completely, as Adrian left his coat on the chair. Good thing that I won't have to follow them around anywhere else. And they haven't seen us, as they were too preoccupied to talk. Let's just hope they won't see us when they come back either. I am aware that what I am doing now might be wrong. But I just can't help it. I want to convince myself that nothing will happen between them.

 **DPOV ends**

At some point, he gets out a pack of cigarettes and we go outside for a little.

"I am sorry you have to get outside with me to smoke. But I just can't abstain myself, you understand? I can't help it. When the need comes, I need to comply."

"Yeah." I get how is it to keep coming to things that are being bad for you. For him is physical, for me mentally. But as he said, what _can_ you do?

He lights up a cigarette and that weird smell comes again.

"What is that smell?"

"My cigs. They have clover flavor. You want to try?" so that was it! I knew it was a familiar scent.

"No, thank you. I have never tried one and I never will." and I try to keep to one addiction at a time. One more would be too much for me to handle.

"Wow, you are a strong believer, right?"

"Yeah, I can't seem to get the point. But I don't judge. Every person does what she needs to."

 **DPOV begins**

"So?"

"So what?"

"What do you want to know?"

"What he has and I don't."

"What? Are you afraid that he has something that doesn't run in the family and you weren't lucky enough at the genetics lottery?"

"Yeah, maybe. Something like that."

"Nah. Trust me. The Belikov genes are way better." Yeah, but I have gotten some bad genes from my father too. The genes that Rose got to see and made her have a strong opinion that I can't be different than that.

"Thanks for the encouragement, but it is not helping me now."

"Fine. So you want to know what he has and you don't?"

"Yes. Very much."

"Well, first, I guess that he has the courage to _do_ something. What happened with you buddy? You used to prey on women like scared little chicks. Why don't you do one of your _things_?"

"I can't. She is different." I don't want to just _play_ with her, like I used to do with other women. I want her to be mine and mine only. And that to be like, forever.

And at this, Ivan just puffs defeated. "You are going to end up bad if you don't do something. _Anything_. Just try your chances before your dearest cousin takes Rose first."

"Don't _say_ that."

"Well, it is the only logical thing that can happen next."

"What the hell are you talking about?" is he even my friend or suddenly switched sides? Didn't he say he was here to help me? Well, his words are not helping me at all.

"Well, what I am talking about is that, I don't think you want to look now, but they have just come back and they are kissing."

" _What_?" I snap my head so fast that I think I might break it and look at them. But they are not doing anything. Not even touching. They are just sitting on their chairs.

Ivan laughs. "You should have seen the face you pulled!"

"Stop _fucking_ with me. This is _not_ funny."

"Maybe not for you. But for me? Definitely funny." and I end this subject about Rose with him. I don't need him to mock me. I am already pissed off. The waitress comes around and brings us our food. I am not really feeling like eating, unlike my companion, and I push the plate aside.

"So how are things going on between the two of you?" Ivan asks when he takes a pause from munching.

"Between me and him?"

"Mhm."

"As usual."

"Really?"

"I don't know. Not really. I didn't see him in quite a while. But he didn't stop pissing me off with every occasion, just like he always did when he meets me. He enjoys it too much. He has always been like that. And now that he found Rose, he is doing shit like this just in spite."

"But how did you accept to do this project anyway?"

"You know, when your mom says you have to help your cousin, you go and help your cousin no matter what this thing takes. And no matter how idiot he is at times, he is still family. And we need to take care of each other."

"Ooooh, so _that_ was the thing. I know that your mother is a hell of a woman so now I get why you are doing this."

"Yeah. But I can't complain either. It is a good thing for my company as well, you know? This project is a good one and with him as my partner, along with his other men, we are going to get so much profit back in the States. So I am not going to complain. And he insisted he will pay me back. Not that I would really need it, but I am not going to hurt his ego. I know that if I would have been him, he would have done the same."

"Yeah, he may have done it. So maybe he is not _that_ bad. It's just the teasing between the two of you which is annoying."

"Yeah, maybe." But bad or not, I don't want him near Rose. I want her to be mine and seeing her do with him the things I want to do with her is tearing me apart. So I decide to act before things end badly for me, as Ivan said. When we get back I am going to ask her out and see how that goes. I want to make something special for her and tell her how I feel. I hope she'll like it and at least give me a chance to prove her how I feel.

 **DPOV ends**

"Rose, if you ever consider leaving Belikov Enterprises, just know that I am having a position for you at my company." Pff. Just so like I would have to get over the womanizer boss thing once more? No thanks. I am good with one. It's the best I can deal with.

"Why?"

"Because you are very competent. And I would like to have someone like you working with me."

"Here, in Russia?"

"Yes."

"Nope. I don't do Russia. A week, maybe. More? No thanks."

"Then I'll open a branch in Manhattan and make you the executive."

At his statement, I laugh. "I'm only a secretary, Adrian. Don't exaggerate my competences." I still have a lot of things to learn, even though Dimitri surely is a good teacher. Without me even noticing it, he has taught me so many things about the business world and how it actually works. I would surely miss his little advices when I am leaving the company.

 **DPOV begins**

And now she is even laughing louder, her laughter filling the restaurant. God, Rose. Why are you doing this to me? I want to be the man who makes you laugh like that, not him.

 **DPOV ends**

"So, why did you keep on asking me all those 'What do you think Miss Hathaway?'. Were you after something?"

"No, I just love to hear you speak. There is this passion you speak with. It lights you up."

"Yeah, sure." He is again getting flirty. I guess it's like second nature for him. "For real, why? Did that have any connection with the free position?"

"Yes. You are very smart. And I wanted to see how you would deal with that."

"And, how did I do then?"

"Wonderful. And as I said, I would like to work with you. You would be a valuable employee."

"Even when I made a fool of myself? I fucked up big time there."

"Rose, we all make mistakes. And that didn't matter, considering all of your other answers."

* * *

"So, why Manhattan?"

"Well, since I was little, my best friend and I wanted to get out of that dump of a town we were living in. And after we graduated, this urge only got bigger. And she found a job there and we left. Simple as that."

"And why being his secretary?" oh, wow. He really is interested in this too?

"I was in need of a job ASAP and that was the only thing I found. But I got to like it after some time. It's not that bad as everybody thinks."

"For you, maybe."

"What do you mean for me?"

"Well, you are different."

"Different? Like how?"

"Like in any possible way. I guess you didn't fall for his charms." I knit my brows. I so don't want to go in that direction. "Oh, come on. People might talk, but at least some part of that is true."

"And where do you know that I haven't already fallen for his charms?" because I did. But I'll take this shit with me to the grave.

He smiles. "I know because you aren't falling for mine either. And I like that about you. As I said, you are different."

I can't help myself. I like to tease everyone. "And isn't this pissing you off?" because I know that it does piss off Dimitri.

"Oh, Rose. I love a good challenge."

Oh, God. I am so fucked. He won't give up that easily, isn't he?

* * *

"Rose, I want to tell you again how sorry I am for yesterday."

"No, you don't have to. You have no fault. You couldn't have known what that man was going to do."

"But the two of you were my guests. And that man was working for me. I am deeply sorry for that."

"It's okay, really."

"I hope that I'll be able to make up for this incident."

"Consider that you already did." I say smiling. I am having a nice time with him. He isn't as bad as I expected, the flirting part being set aside. And we have so many things to talk about. He is indeed an interesting person and he is so nice, under all that cockiness. The girl who would get to be his girlfriend is going to be a very lucky woman, I am sure of this. But first, she might have to tame him a little. Which is going to be quite a hard job. Well, good luck Adrian's future girlfriend.

"So, you are leaving tonight."

"Yes. Our plane takes off at nine."

"You know what? I am going to come too. I already talked with Belikov." Wow. The two of them into a room that small? Why do I get the feeling it might not end well?

"Why?"

"Well, I think that I want to see the place where the construction is being made with my own eyes." Oh, this kind of really makes sense.

"That is a great idea. And so, you will be able to see the city too. Have you ever been there?" and he shakes his head. "See? It's a win-win situation. Manhattan is great."

"Will you show me around?"

"Yeah, why not? And about leaving. I guess I'll go now and pack my things if you don't mind. I kind of postponed it until the last minute." Just like I always do.

"It's okay. I'll take you upstairs."

"Thanks, but you don't have to."

"Oh, but I want to."

Pfffff. He is just like a little leech. A nice one, but still.

As we get up and turn around, my eyes fall on Dimitri and Ivan, sitting at one of the tables behind us. Were they there for long? And why from all the empty places around they choose to sit so close to us? _Really_ guys? I eye them suspiciously until we pass right in front of them and nod as a salute, then head to the elevator. Gosh, those two people are literally indecipherable. What if I am just interpreting things wrongly? _But what if you are not?_

"Protective much?" Adrian gets me out of my head.

"Huh? What?"

"Belikov, at the restaurant." Oh, so he sensed something too. So I am not just imagining things. But the question is why.

"Oh, no. He told me that he would take dinner with his friend there. It's just a coincidence."

I didn't know what else to say, but I would surely not let Adrian think Dimitri is following me around or something. And why were they there in the first place? Were they afraid that Adrian would kidnap me? Is the bad blood between them running that deep? Or was he afraid that I would have a great time with him and suddenly burst into flames and die? Well, it's the least I deserve from time to time, to be relaxed and simply be, without anything to worry about, okay? So he can shove his protectiveness down his ass. I can manage by myself quite well. I am not going to give a second thought to this thing.

But as I get to my room, the rage is practically filling me. I have tried to ignore it but it on my way down the hall, as I was trying to maintain a normal conversation with Adrian and tried to ignore the elephant in the room, it only got worse. Who the fuck does he think he is to follow me around? Like really? Am I a little baby and he my nanny? And this surely wasn't a coincidence. I have seen the glare on his face. I am feeling so embarrassed right now! And when I was with Adrian? I so don't like to be caught in between anything that is going on between the two of them. Maybe they are just some longtime competitors to see how many women they could handle to get in bed and I so don't want to be the prize of any of them.

It's past seven now and we still have two hours until we leave this damn place. These men simply driving me insane. And Dimitri is acting so fucking weird. This moment he is looking at me like I am the only thing in the world, just like he did the night of the dinner, and touches me and speaks nicely to me and the next he is either flirting with another woman or he looks so restrained around me like I am going to bite him. Am I that scary? I don't _get_ him. Wasn't he the macho in this scenario? The one who could have any woman he wanted? I thought I gave myself away on so many times but nooo, he is just playing with me.

He is giving me so fucking many mixed signals that I have completely no idea what to do now. To go and jump on him and wash him with all my love or to go and punch him in the face and tell him that I don't want to see him ever again? What the fuck does he want from me? _But what the fuck do you want from him Rose? Wasn't this your wish? To stay away from him?_ _Didn't you want him not to hit on you?_ Yes, _fuck_ , it was. But I wish for him to do something like I don't know, kiss me for fuck's sake! I want him to show me that he _feels_ something for me, more than just lust. I want him to take my fucking breath away! I want him to kiss me till I can't stay straight on my feet. But at the same time I am so afraid that I am just fooling myself into thinking that he might want more from me. What is it with all these mixed feelings I get about him? What do I want from him? God, I am so fucking confused right now. I surely need to put my thoughts in order and I can't wait to get home and not be around him anymore. This will make me think straight at least. With him around me for so long things have only gotten worse for me.

But before that, I have to endure another ten long hours with stalker Belikov. Oh, and the chatty super flirty Adrian. How could I forget about him? It is going to be such a wonderful flight. All I want now is just to be left alone. Am I asking for too much? But you know what? I am going to be a total bitch. I don't care. I am going to flip off each one of them on our flight if they even try to talk with me. They have both pissed me off enough. I am done with dealing with men like them.

I still have enough time on my hands to enjoy the pleasures that the bathroom in this suite provides. It will at least help me get rid of the tension that has accumulated in me in the past ten minutes. It's either this or smashing everything around. And it would be such a pity to destroy the things in here. It is the most elegant bathroom I have ever seen. First, it is huge. And can you believe that is has some kind of jacuzzi? But I totally love the round bathtub made from white marble, placed into the center of the room, from which you have a perfect view of the sky. It was love at first bath.

I turn on the water and pour everything I find in the bathtub. It smells amazing. I get in, relaxing my muscles into the hot water. I helped myself with a glass of wine too. I definitely need one right now. And for later too. If I think about it, maybe I'll finish this bottle. It would help me sleep for the whole ten hours so that I wouldn't have to deal with anybody.

* * *

It is half past seven when I get out of the bathtub. I thought about having a very long bath but I was about to fall asleep and I didn't want to drown so its length had to shorten drastically. I want to get home on my own feet, not in a bag. The room is full of steam and I wipe the gigantic mirror. I take a small look at myself and reach my hand for the towel. But my hand only touches the cold metal of the hanger. Oh, shit! I forgot to bring a towel. Why do I always forget about things?

Now I have to make my way into the living room because I don't know why, but the maid is putting the towels on the armchair there, instead of bringing them in here or even in the bedroom. Well, it is a pretty long way I have to make. And I have to leave this warm room and get into the not so warm suite naked and wet. Yay! Just perfect. It's everything I needed to end this wonderful trip here. Well, at least no one would see me doing this. I have seen that there were some full plates on Dimitri's and Ivan's table so this means that they got their plates delivered when I left so, in extension, this means that he won't come around any time soon. Trust me; this man really chews on his food.

I decide to make a run for it. Get in fast, get out as fast. I am a pretty good runner and like this maybe I won't lose that much body heat on my way. I open the door and colder air is prickling my heated skin. A shiver goes down my spine and goosebumps appear all over my body. Yeah, there goes my plan with keeping the body heat intact. I am already cold. Let's do this anyway, Rose. I jog at a tidy pace through the bedroom, already seeing the towels sitting on the armchair just in the way of the door, sitting there just like a prize ready to be taken by me and as I pass through the open living room door, excited that I am going to wrap one of them around me soon, I hear some noise. It's some steps. Right there, in the fucking living room. But it is too late for me to do anything because something appears from my left side, getting just in my direction. I bump into it and gasp loudly. _Fuck!_

I can feel the cold leather of his duster glued on my heated body, and his T-shirt already getting wet from the water that still was on me. My hands are resting on his chest and as I take in a deep breath to shake off the shock of this thing, his earthy scent fills my nostrils, making me feel dizzy. I lift my eyes and find the deep mahogany color of his irises. He is watching me with widened eyes, his hands lifted up along his body, probably having no idea what to do with them as he wasn't fast enough to stop the impact, and I can feel that he is breathing heavily. I simply lose myself into the deep chocolate pool of his eyes and things around me stop moving.

He frowns, spoiling the beautifulness of his features. "Rose?" one of us finally says something and I wake up from the daydream I was in. Shit, I really should stop getting distracted by everything about him.

I take two steps back out of the most idiotic idea that came to my mind in that moment, detaching myself from him. I turn my head to the left fast, studying my surroundings, and I see Ivan with his eyes closed, laughing silently. This day couldn't have gotten better than this! At least Ivan had the decency to close his damn eyes because when I turn my head back I see that Dimitri is looking at me, his eyes not leaving my body not even for a second.

His Adam's apple moves up and down as he gulps. His eyes seem fixated on my body and I can feel the blood in me starting to boil, despite the goosebumps on my skin. He looks like he just had a revelation, with his eyes widened in surprise and he opens his mouth again, wanting to say something more than just my name, but he can't find the right words and it's just like he is babbling something but I can't hear anything coming out his mouth.

 _Oh my God, I am completely naked!_ My brain just froze for a couple of seconds but now it is completely functional and it is yelling at me for the stupidity of my previous actions. I cover the most important parts with the too insufficient hands that I have. It's not enough though. I am still too uncovered. What do I do now?

As I move, he realizes what he was doing and turns his eyes towards the floor.

"I, um, um..." _what can you say? Just leave!_

I turn around and run back into the bedroom, slamming the door behind me. What the _fuck_ just happened? He was supposed to be downstairs!

I grab the first pieces of clothing I can find, a shirt and a pair of sweats, and put them on, almost stumbling and falling on the floor from the speed I was putting my pants on. I sit on the edge of the bed and prop my head into my hands. This thing _cannot_ be happening. How am I going to look him in the eyes ever again? Good God, and the way he was looking at me. I am so embarrassed. Why the fuck I was so careless? Couldn't I at least make sure he wasn't in the suite first? Now he and his friend will have some more talking material about me. My heart is beating so hard that it threatens to break my ribcage. I take deep breaths and calm myself a little. This is so wrong. I can _feel_ that things won't ever be the same after this moment. How can you get over shit like this? I just gave him what he always wanted. _Way to go, Rose._

As I am still questioning my stupidity, someone knocks at the door.


	33. Chapter 33

**Bitterblue Fairchild, thanks for pointing that out, I took care of it**

 **blondjinjit, I hope you didn't get in any trouble :) I would sometimes smile lightly into the bus when I am reading fanfics and people look weirdly at me, so I know how that feels to be on the edge of laughing and not really being able to**

 **Dimitri's Goddess, thanks for all your reviews! And Dimitri won't be jealous on Ivan for seeing Rose. He knew he would get in trouble if he would watch her naked so this is why he was having his eyes closed.** **And there would be a DPOV but at the end of the talk.**

 **And dear Jacjac, I don't really know how much this conversation will meet your expectations, as you have said you are very excited about it**

 **But all I can say guys is don't hate me for this. As I said, I was feeling like being over dramatic and I thought I should give it a try, and then this chapter came out. So yeah, all I can promise is that I will make things right soon enough**

* * *

"Rose?"

Oh no, not now, please. And not _you_. You just saw me naked, what do you want now?

"Enter." I say anyway and the door slowly opens, revealing a Dimitri whose face I can't decipher. He is looking at me just like it would be the first time he ever sees me. Okay, I get it that it was weird as fuck, but I am not some kind of an alien. I was just naked.

I avoid eye contact for as long as I can, trying to inspect him by only his body language. He comes closer to me slowly, seeming unsure of his steps. Wow, did I startle him that bad?

I start babbling. "Look, Dmitri, I am sorry. I thought I was alone and I didn't have a towel and the maid is always putting them on the armchair, you know that, and I have just taken a bath and I needed one and I didn't know that you would-"

"It's you." yes, it is me who he just saw naked, I am glad we established that. What does he want more?

"I'm sorry, but what?"

His tone gets somehow angry. "It was _you_."

I rise and simply watch him as he gets even closer to me, his breath starting to pick up.

"I don't understand what you are talking about, Dimitri."

"That night."

"What night?" why is he so cryptic? Can't he make a proper sentence or what? "What do you mean? What night are you talking about?"

"On my birthday."

My eyes widen in surprise. No. No. _No_. This cannot be happening. Someone, please wake me up now. Things are only getting worse with each passing second. This is so not what I expected to happen. _He just saw you naked Rose. And he saw the only thing you had to hide best._ I have to deny this thing. I turn my back to him and watch out the window. I can't lie while I am looking into his eyes. I would just crack up in an instant if I would look at him.

"What is it about your birthday? What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"What didn't I tell you? What happened? You make no sense, Dimitri."

He puts his hand on my shoulder, turns me and grabs the side of my shirt and lifts it up, revealing my birthmark.

"I remember _this_." He says passing his fingers on my skin. He laughs lightly. "And the _lipstick_. _God_. You lied to me the other night. You wore it that night too. It was on the glass I found the next morning. And your hair." he passes a hand through it as he shakes his head. "You were just under my nose. It _was_ _you_. For all this time, Rose. You lied to me for so long. At least now stop denying it."

"What are you _doing_?!" I say and get his hands off me. "Don't touch me!"

"Rose, you and I have-"

 _"No_! There is _nothing_ that happened between us!" I say raising my hands in some kind of a defensive gesture.

His face transmits me that he is hurt by my words.

"You… This is what you wanted to tell me last week at the office? Why didn't you? You don't trust me even that much? I woul-'

"Oh come on! Give me a break! Not everything has to revolve around you Belikov, okay? Am I not allowed to have problems on my own?"

"Then why didn't you tell me any other time? You lied to me for _so long_. And I took your words for granted. I really trusted you, Rose. And you lied me to my face. _Why_?"

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me, mister know it all? Why do _you_ think I didn't tell you?" I cross my arms over my chest and watch him. He seems so fucking clueless. Of course he doesn't see things from my point of view, why would he?

"I am asking you because I can't find any good explanation, Rose. So _you_ tell me."

I laugh bitterly in response, and then the words pour out of my mouth because I have kept them for far too long. I wanted him to know all of what I am about to say him, but I was afraid of how he would react. But the fear in me is making me speak freely. And it is only making me do things worse. But gosh, I didn't know how much rage I have built in me until I snapped now.

"Do you really have the cheek to ask me why didn't I _tell_ you? You can't find a _good_ explanation? _Why didn't I tell you_?" I impersonate his tone. "Then let me give you the _best_ explanation. I didn't tell you because, what? Why should I have done it? So that I would be just one other name on your list of _conquests_? So that I would be just like the other girls you brought into your _fucking bed_ and did your ways with them? So that you could go brag to _fucking_ Ivan over there about the best sex of your life with your _stupid_ secretary?" As I spoke I raised my voice and I am no longer speaking, I am practically yelling at him. And he frowns at hearing me talking about his friend. "Don't pull that face. Yeah, I heard it all, okay? I am not proud of myself for that but I heard it all that day. Oh, and the way she screamed man." I impersonate him once more. His expression turns blank. Yeah, do you remember saying that shit? Because I do every single day. "What difference would have made for you to know that it was me, huh? Would have things have been different? Yeah, I am sure that they would have been. Do you want to know how? Let me tell you this shit too! You wouldn't have kept me around so much if you knew you already banged me. Right? You would have just let Tasha fire me and then move on to another one, no? _Because that is what you do_! It has always been like that for you! But hey, maybe you wouldn't have broken up with her in the first place. I am sure that now you wish you wouldn't have done that." I stop to take a breath because I am crying and the air in this room doesn't seem to be enough.

'Rose, don't say that. I-'

I lift my hand and stop him. " _No_. You said you wanted to know. Then let me say it all! You just came in there wasted and then you went into your office and you seemed so sad so I had a drink with you and that turned into some more, way more than I could handle, and we talked a little and you seemed to be _so_ _different_ from before and you were so warm and you told me all those nice things and you even told me about your favorite place, goddamnit!" I gulp once to keep in a harsh sob and then I keep talking. It's like nothing can stop me now. I have to let it all out. "I got drunk too because I was feeling bad about myself that night and I took you home and then we- _oh God_. We, we were both _wasted_ and it was a _mistake_ and I regret it happened and, and then I saw that you didn't remember it and I thought that I could hide it from you until I could find another job so that I would leave with some dignity and I wanted not to be just another one of _those_ girls. I don't want to be a trophy on your bed, Dimitri! _God_! All I wanted was to get away from you without you finding out about this and to forget everything and- _Oh God_. That should have _not_ happened. _Ever_. It shouldn't have happened."

"Why shouldn't have that happened? What if I-"

"How the hell can you even ask that?! Because all you do is to fool women to get into your bed! Gosh, Dimitri!"

I was now hysterical and he reached a hand towards me, his face a mask of sadness.

"No! Don't touch me. Not again. Just…just leave me alone, please." I wipe my tears away and show him the door, pleading him with my eyes to leave me alone.

"Roza, I-" God, please don't call me like that. The one he is now surely has no right to call me like that. He is nothing like the man I gave myself to.

"No, _please_ , Dimitri. I just want to get home and I'll leave on Monday so that I'll never see you again and you can go back to doing your thing, okay? Just let me be for now, please."

"You said you heard it all."

"Yes I did, okay? I am a little eavesdropping bitch that I listened to how you bragged to your friend about fucking me, okay? Now, will you _please_ let me be?"

"You heard everything I said?"

"Fuck! What do you want from me now? Do you want an exact reproduction of it? Because I remember everything you said about me! Just go, now, okay?"

But he doesn't listen to me. "So you know." He says and instead of going away, he comes closer and drags me fast towards him by my waist, pressing our bodies together and not just that, but our lips too, giving me a taste of his sweetness. Before I snap out of bewilderment I kiss him back and even sight as I lose myself into the softness of his skin on mine. It's not like I have wondered every single day how it would feel to kiss him again. And look, he _is_ taking my breath away, just like I wished, but it is for all the wrong reasons. This thing happening now is so wrong. It shouldn't happen. Not after everything that happened tonight and that night. I put my hands on his chest and push him off me hard. Now I am way fuller of anger.

"No! Get off me!"

"But you…"

" _What the fuck is wrong with you_? Why do you keep on doing this shit with kissing me all of a sudden? Listen to me. Just because we fucked once this doesn't give you the right to do this! How _dare_ you kiss me? What did you think? Oh, it already happened once, so why wouldn't it happen again, right?"

"Rose. _Stop_. Don't say-"

"What now? Are you looking for another round, that's it? You'll never _change_ , won't you Belikov? Can't you get that I don't _want_ you?" these words come out of my mouth even if I don't mean them at all. But I know that the best thing I could do now is to push him away. So I continue to hit him. "God Dimitri, you are so- so fucking- ugh! Listen to me and listen well. I. Do. Not. Want. You! _At all_! Not in any fucking way!" I emphasize every word and each of them is making my chest hurt even harder. But I know with every piece of me that I am doing the best thing. Things with him won't ever change. " _Understood_? Now, just go away! Let me be!"

His face turns blank and his jaw clenches. Then he says a harsh ''Fine'' and heads for the door. When he gets to the doorstep he turns, raises a hand, sighs, his expression softens, and wants to say something: "Roza, I just…" he takes in a deep breath. "I lo-"

"Just go! _Fuck_! Is it so hard to understand that Dimitri?! I don't want to be near you! Get out!"

And he stops, exhales hard, fists his palm, hits the wall next to him, making me stop in bewilderment at his anger, and then leaves the room, closing the door behind him with a thud that might have been capable of breaking that door in half, but somehow it didn't.

And as he gets further away from me, I burst in tears again as I simply let myself fall on the bed, getting one of the pillows and squeezing it hard to my chest trying to suppress somehow the pain in there, but it is only getting worse with each passing second. And I remain in the room, in my little bubble of suffering, not being aware of anything that might happen near me, crying and looking at the dip in the wall. What was I _thinking_? It was a miracle that I could keep this thing from him for so long. I was so stupid to fool myself into thinking that he won't find out. God, this thing was just like a bomb building up for so long and now, when the perfect occasion came, it only blew out in my face. And it left a fucking disaster behind it. Everything that just happened is my entire fault. I am the only one responsible for getting myself hurt like this.

 **DPOV**

As I get out of Rose's room, Ivan is waiting for me. I thought he has left, but I am quite glad he didn't. I need someone to help me understand what just happened. I am absolutely confused. And hopeless.

"What happened in there? It didn't sound good at all buddy."

"I fucked up. I fucked up everything."

"Hey, don't be so harsh. Maybe not everything is lost."

Considering the situation, I can only laugh at his so-called positivity. "Are you kidding me now? Haven't you just heard all the things she told me?"

"I did but…"

"But nothing. I just made this thing in my head and everything is messed up and now she is leaving. For goods." what was the point in me taking things slow with her if I messed up everything now? God, I am so angry now. On her, for keeping this thing from me, on myself, for acting so foolishly. Why couldn't things just go right for once?

"And you are not going to do anything about it?"

"What _can_ I do?"

"Where the hell is the Dimitri _I_ know? The one who never gave up? Ever since we were little, I haven't seen you give up on anything. So why are you doing it now?"

"But she…"

"No buts." He says harshly, gets up from the armchair and comes my way, looking me right in the eyes. "Listen to me, buddy. You _will_ find a way to make things right. I know you will. You can't just let her go that easily. You'll just need to give her a little time. And maybe some space. Talk with her after she cools down, okay?"

"But why? Haven't you heard that she...?"

"Yeah, I heard. And she can say it for as long as she wants. But I know what I _saw_. And that night at the dinner she wasn't looking at any other man in there the way she was looking at you." and I want to laugh again. I'd wish she looked at me the way he says. Maybe he is trying to help, but making me fool myself once more surely won't help me. "Maybe you cannot see it or maybe she is just really good at holding it back when you are around her, or _hell_ , maybe she is afraid of it, who knows? She is really hard to get. I am sorry with this, but you just had to go and pick the most difficult woman of them all, didn't you?" His comment makes me smile. She may be complicated for others. But I love her just the way she is. I swear I wouldn't change a single thing about her. She is perfect just like that. Her stubbornness is one of the things I love about her. But it is completely driving me insane at times too. "But I can see it. When you were dancing, wow. It's like the both of you were radiating. And you know I don't say this thing about lots of people. Trust me with this. Just find a way to make her stay and when she calms down just sit down and talk. _Just_ talk. Tell her and see how that goes. No more lashing at her trying to kiss her okay?"

"But now, how do I make her stay?" she is more stubborn than a mule. She won't give up on her decision that easily.

"You have a great imagination. You'll figure something out, I am sure. Just give her some time for now. I am not a guru in these kinds of problems, but all I know is that when a woman is that upset, you just get out of her way or things will end up a hundred times worse." I nod, agreeing with what he is telling me to do. This is the best thing I can do now. I am totally out of ideas, so I am ready to try anything. "Now, I'll let you get ready to go home, okay? I have to pack my bag too. Just give me a call to tell me how things are going okay?"

"Thanks." I pat him on the back as he heads towards the door.

"No problem. Just promise me you won't let the girl go. She is one of a kind, even I can see that."

I let out a little laugh. "Yeah, she is." And I am just the stupid fool who is losing her. Not that I really ever had her.

 **DPOV ends**

I wash my face one more time with ice cold water, my hands already getting tingly from all the time I have spent leaning over the sink, splashing my face, trying to make my crying stop. Dimitri knocks on my door to announce me that we must go. I mumble an ''I am coming'' and I take another look in the mirror. My eyes are bloodshot from all the crying and my desperate wiping, trying to make the tears stop falling. My face is puffy and my nose is red, just like I have spent the last half an hour out in the cold. No amount of water can repair this before I exit the room and no kind of makeup can cover this, plus I am not feeling at all like applying any. God, I hate being seen like this. And I hate more that _he_ is going to see me like this. But there is nothing I can do now. We must go. I let my hair unclasped in the hopes that at least it could cover my face somehow, get out the bathroom and put my overcoat on.

Before I go out the door, I take a closer look at the indent into the wall and walk my fingers along the cracked edges. It has blood in it that contrasts with the perfect whiteness of the lime. He must have hit the wall really hard. Does it hurt him? It must hurt. The bang on the wall was loud when he hit it. He must have been so angry. I hope he didn't break anything. Did he bandage it?

I get to the living room and he is sitting on the sofa, probably waiting for me. He is leaning forward, with his elbows propped on his thighs and the fingers interlaced in front of his mouth, as his gaze is fixated on the floor in front of him. His hair is unclasped and the strands are covering most of his face. I can't read his expression this way. But I pick up onto the thick air in the room and I suppose he might still be mad. Who wouldn't be after everything I said? Me, on the other hand, I am not mad anymore. I have let it all out when I yelled at him. Now, I am just full of sorrow and I wish this day never existed. But sadly, it does exist and it's one of the worst days of my life.

But then my eyes fall on his hand. It's not bandaged as I hoped it would be and his knuckles are bright red, some blood being smeared on them. I need to fight the urge to go and take care of his injury. I just need to keep away from him, I keep on repeating to myself. So I decide it's better to head for the door before I change my mind.

When he acknowledges my presence, he rises and I took another glance at him, meeting his eyes. He opens his mouth. I can't hear what he has to say, I just can't. The hell if I am going to let him fool me with anything he has to say. Nothing can be said or done to repair things, there is nothing to be repaired in the first place, so why should we even bother with meaningless words? I shake my head no and simply turn the other way, heading for the door again. I get to the elevator and he follows me, not trying to say anything this time.

The whole road to the plane I just keep to myself, trying to ignore the fact that he is at no more than a few centimeters away from me on the backseat of the car, and I watch the animated city through the steamy glass, not even finding the energy to wipe that thing out. I am not, in fact, looking at something in particular; I am just looking for a distraction.

But well, goodbye, Moscow I guess. I wish this trip didn't end that bad.

We finally get there and as I got closer, I see four people instead of three waiting for us next to the jet. When did this happen? I take a closer look to see who the new figure is. _Adrian_. I completely forgot about him. Now I have another thing to worry about. What am I going to say to him when he sees me like this? He'll surely guess that something is wrong, he's not dumb and it's not that hard to observe that I am a complete mess right now. I take a deep breath and head their way. What happens, happens. There is no point in worrying worthlessly. But outside is dark and nobody notices my face for now.

We enter the plane and Dimitri and I take our previous places. Unfortunately, Adrian chooses the seat in front of me, probably thinking that he'll get the chance to charm me some more. Well, I am sorry to disappoint, but I am not feeling like flirting now. As he sits, his eyes land on me and his expression instantly changes. He leans over, coming closer to me and takes one of my cold hands into his, forming a little fortress of warmth around my skin.

"Rose, what happened? Are you alright? What's wrong? Tell me." why does he have to care so much? What should I tell him now?

I take a fast glance into Dimitri's direction and meet his eyes, looking straight into mine. I feel tears forming in the back of my eyes again and I blink them away and turn my attention back to Adrian, so that I would be more convincing as I speak to him.

"It's nothing, Adrian." I squeeze on his hand that is holding on to mine, trying to reassure him of my words. "I just miss home so bad and I got sad and a little carried away and I cried earlier. It's stupid, I know, but I couldn't help myself." I say and laughing a little at my so-called emotivity, in the hopes that he would accept my lie.

He looks at me and his face is transmitting me that he is not buying my shit. Hell, I do not even believe myself either.

"Are you _sure_ nothing happened, Rose?" I try to look at Dimitri again, but Adrian squeezes my hand lightly and makes me keep my attention on him.

"Yeah, what could have happened? Don't be silly. Everything is cool." I say making reassuring signs with my free hand, like: oh, there is nothing devastating going on.

And he lets me be for now. Thank God.

Like the first time, the flight attendant asks us if we want something to drink. The men get some whiskey and I shake my head no, but Adrian is there to be nice again.

"This can't be. Bring the lady over here a cup of tea. She is _homesick_." he says with subtext and I simply smile weakly in his direction as a thank you, pretending that I didn't catch what he was trying to suggest.

And he tries to make some conversation too, but my responses are empty and vague as I can't get my thoughts in order and I can't really pay attention to him and I make him repeat himself on several occasions, so eventually, poor Adrian gives up.

When the lady comes to pick up our empty cups, I ask her if she can bring me some kind of blanket. Something to help me get warm because I feel cold from the second I stepped outside the hotel and I can't shake this sensation. It's like some part of me is missing and it is now replaced by the coldness of my dark thoughts. When she delivers me the fluffy object, I excuse myself and go sit on the sofa. I can't remain there anymore with Dimitri's subtle glances thrown from time to time in my direction and Adrian's worried stares. They're way too uncomfortable in this moment.

I spend the rest of the flight on the couch, alone. From time to time, Adrian comes around and asks me if I am okay or if I need something or other things like that, but I just tell him that I am really tired and that he shouldn't worry that much about me. And for two times Dimitri passed in front of me, making his way to the back of the jet, and the second time he was going back to his place, he wanted to take a seat next to me, but I guess that the scared glare I gave him and me shaking my head no, made him change his mind because he just went on his way.

 **DPOV begins**

For the whole road so far, Adrian has been throwing ugly glares in my direction. I catch him doing this again.

"What?" I am not in the mood to get mocked by him now.

"Do you even have to _ask_?" he asks curling his lips in displease. No, I don't have to ask, but I don't need him to remind me of that. I know I am guilty for what happened earlier, for making her cry that badly. And God, seeing her like that made me want to punch myself for acting that way.

These past days we spent here everything seemed to go so well between us and I really thought that I managed to draw to an end this bad impression she has of me and she didn't even seem so uptight when I touched her, which was totally unexpected for me. I loved every second of it. She even danced with me and her laying her head on my chest simply took me to heaven. But now all these things happen and I find out that she was the one I spent that night with and not her seemingly doppelgänger as I initially thought and she kept it from me for all this time, lying me straight to my face. And she heard it all, my entire conversation with Ivan. And even knowing all I said about her then, she told me loud and clear that she doesn't want me. And God, the things she said about me. I tried so hard to show her that I am not like that anymore, but she didn't see a thing.

But I was _not_ imagining things earlier. I _know_ she kissed me back. I _felt_ it; the way she relaxed when our lips met and that light sight she let out had to mean something. And I thought that things were going to be okay. And for a little time they were. But then, a millisecond next, they didn't. They got way worse. The worst case scenario ever. I just fell off the tiny rope I was struggling to keep my balance on. No, I didn't fall. It simply broke under my feet. If I would have fallen, that would have meant that I would still have gotten another chance to try. But seeing how she looks at me now, God, I don't think I'll ever get another chance to make things right.

But I clearly misinterpreted a lot of things and all of those only lead to me kissing her because at that time it seemed the right thing to do but thinking about it now, it doesn't seem such a good idea anymore. I shouldn't have acted on impulse, but I thought that by kissing her I could transmit her what I really feel about her but she misunderstood me once more. What was I even thinking? Couldn't I have just told her instead and get things cleared out once and forever? And now I just don't know how to make things right because she won't listen to me, no matter how hard I try to speak with her.

"This is _none_ of your business." He is the last one I want to poke his nose in this situation.

"It is. I don't know what happened, but I will eventually find out. I know that you are the reason she has been crying. What did you do to her?" His words make anger flush through me some more.

"As I previously said, this is not your concern. And stay away from Rose."

"Yeah? Why? Do you owe her somehow?"

"Because-" I love her. Here is it, I confess it completely. I love Rose so much it drives me insane, but she hates me. I can see it in the way she has been looking at me for the past couple of hours. And I can't make her understand, because she won't let me say anything to her. Hell, she doesn't even let me get close to her anymore. And she thinks all these bad things about me. Under these circumstances, how can I make her understand that I care for her? How can I find a way to make her stay? I don't want her to leave.

"Rose told me that there is _nothing_ between the two of you. So why wouldn't I be allowed to try to be with her? At least _I_ would treat her better. You wouldn't know how to appreciate a woman like her for as long as you'll live anyway." Allowed to _try_? I need to keep myself together. I might end up breaking his nose.

"Listen to me Adr-"

 **DPOV ends**

At some point, I fell asleep and I wake up as the men are bickering in low voices, speaking in Russian. What are they talking about? I don't move a muscle as I am all ears. Along their kind of heated conversation, I hear my name. Are they talking about _me_? Oh, good God, could this day get any worse? What? Are they quarreling about who gets to get me in bed first? I am so done with both of them. And they need to stop talking now. I pretend to wake up and they instantly shut up when I make my first move. The rest of the flight was made in silence, the tension in this jet only getting thicker.

Finally, we are back, after about ten hours of silent torture. We get off the plane and get our luggage. I make my way through the parking lot, looking for a cab to take me home, but there is not a single car around.

"Rose." Dimitri calls me. What does he want now? I ignored him so much and he can't seem to get the message. I stop, turn around and he comes closer.

"I have something for you." really? Now he is making me gifts in order to what?

"I don't want anything from you."

"Just wait a second, okay?"

He takes out his wallet. Is he going to give me money now that he found out he made sex with me? Like you would do to a _whore_? I fist my hand and my nails are digging deep into my skin. The second he gets out those fucking money I am going to plant a good one on his face. As a souvenir from me. One to remind him not to treat me like that.

"I guess that this belongs to you. I got the locker repaired because it kept on opening by itself." he extends me my necklace, holding it in the palm of his hand. He kept it.

"Why did you keep this?"

He shrugs. "I just wanted to give it back to the owner, if I would ever find it. And…It's yours, so…" yeah, now that he found out, I get it.

I extend my hand and he transfers it in my palm, no touching. I don't know what I would do if he would touch me again.

"Thank you." I turn and want to leave.

"Rose, let me take you home. It's late."

"No."

"I won't say anything. Just, let me drive you home."

"No." I say keeping on to my decision. All I need now is to be alone in a car with him again. The road to the jet was more than enough for me.

And can't he stop being nice to me? I already told him I don't want anything from him and that I don't want him near me, so I have no idea why he keeps on doing this being nice with me thing. Doesn't he see that he is making things harder than they already are for me? Can't he be the cold bastard he was when I first met him? It would be easier for me to hate him this way.

Instead, I go to Adrian, the only one who can help me now, even though I wish I wouldn't have had to ask him. But I have no other choice. And as Dimitri said, it's late and I am way too tired to care if Adrian thinks I am flirting with him or something.

"Hey, um, do you think you could give me a ride?"

"Sure, Rose. It would be my pleasure. Get in."

We both enter his car and as the driver exits the parking lot, my eyes land on Dimitri. He is simply staying next to his car and watches us. Why do I feel so guilty right now? I shouldn't. I am just staying away from him. And I am doing the right thing. The best thing. I will be better off without him in my life.

"Rose, I want you to know that you can tell me anything, okay?"

"What do you mean?"

"Come on. You don't have to lie anymore. He's not here. Tell me what happened. You didn't just cry from some nostalgia."

"Yeah, I did. I miss my friend so much."

"Rose, please don't lie to me."

"I am _not_ lying."

"Fine. If you don't want to tell me, I won't push you. But are you alright?"

He already knows that I am not so there is no point in lying him that I am. "I'll be."

We arrive at my building and I get out of the car.

"Have a nice night, Rose. I'll see you on Monday." I frown. "I'll be coming to the office. I am going to be there for two weeks." he reminds me. Oh, yeah, that's why he came here in the first place.

"Oh, yeah. See you on Monday, Adrian." and only on Monday, because I am out. For good this time, no more finding reasons to stay. I have been lying to myself for so long. I could have quit for so many times, but I would always find a reason not to, just because I felt the need to be in his presence.

I begin to cry long before I reach my door. I can't keep the tears from falling anymore. I restrained myself for too long. At least nobody can see me now.

I wished so much that he wouldn't find out. It would have been much simpler like that. But things have gone South in a matter of seconds. I was so stupid to think that things could have worked like that for so long. Or to think that things could change. But hey, at least I was taught a lesson I won't forget soon.

Exhausted, I lay on the first thing I find, the too little sofa, and fall asleep in an instant. Lissa is the one who wakes me up when she enters the apartment.

"You are back!" she comes and squeezes me hard.

When she pulls away, I am already crying again.

"Rose, what happened?"

'He saw me.'

"He saw you? What does that mean?"

"He saw me naked. He found out it was me, Liss. I didn't want him to know! He shouldn't have known!"

"Oh, Rose. I am so sorry." she said as she embraced me again.

So, it's Monday. The last Monday as an employee here. I enter this building for the last time. The packed entrance, the bright white walls, the phones ringing, the heels echoing seem so familiar to me. I think I would be able to walk around with my eyes closed. I head towards the elevator and Sydney welcomes me back and tells me that the girls missed me. I missed them too. They are all so nice to me. And I would also miss spending time with them on my lunch breaks. But well, I have to move on. The sooner the better.

I get into the elevator and get upstairs with other three persons. The place seems so small and I feel the need to breathe deeply. I am getting closer to the end. When I get to the last story and the doors open, a knot forms into my stomach. I can't do this. _Be calm, Rose, you can do this. Just get in and get out. Simple._ But it's not that simple in fact.

I open the door to my office and stop into the doorway as I see Dimitri sitting on my chair. His head turns my way and he seems more beautiful than ever. He is wearing a deep blue well body fitted turtleneck, making him seem more Russian than even somehow, he has his hair untied and the soft dark hazel strands are almost touching his shoulders. His eyes light up as he sees me.

I begin to tremble when I see that on my desk is a big bouquet of yellow and pink roses. Did he take me flowers? Is he going to ask me to stay? Is he going to say something to me? What if he…

I smile weakly in his direction and greet him. I approach the table and he rises. I take a look at the bouquet and it has a note attached to it, saying: ''I hope you are feeling better, Rose. Would you like to take dinner with me this evening? Adrian.'' The glimpse of hope that bloomed into my heart a second ago turned to dust by reading these words. I almost laugh. Of course the roses are from Adrian. What was I really expecting? But why is he here then? _You don't need to know. Stick to the plan. Just get in and get out._ Right _._

"I am going to take my things and I'll go to HR till noon." I say as I place my purse on the desk and grab some papers.

"Rose." I lift my head and look him in the eyes, maybe for the last time. God, I am going to miss this sight so much. "I don't want you to leave." my heart wrenches and my breath comes to a halt. He is really asking me to stay.

I cross my arms over my chest, into a little gesture that tries to cover my already broken heart. I don't know what to expect. "Why wouldn't I leave?" please, just tell me what I need to hear and I will stay forever. Give me a good reason. _That_ reason. Tell me that I haven't fooled myself for so long.

"I need you." at this, my heart floods with hope again. He just said that he needs me. "You are the only person" oh my God "who knows this project inside out and I don't have the time to get someone else to help me." I almost laugh again and take a look around the room, just to take my eyes from him. This man is all about business. And if anything else doesn't involve sex, nothing can reach to him. For the millionth time, I was wrong to think otherwise. I have denied my feelings for him for so long, but I didn't manage to push them away no matter what I did, and I lied to myself that he may be feeling the same for me, hoping that one day he would actually will, hoping that he would want more from me than just physical involving stuff. But there is nothing that can transmit this to me now. Maybe there never was. "I need you to stay. At least until Adrian leaves. I'll pay you double if you wa-"

"I don't need your money. And why would I stay? You can manage things on your own anyway."

 _"No_." he says hastily. "No, I can't. Not at all. You know all the things around here. Please, Rose. Just, just two weeks. Then you can do whatever you want."

You know what the worst thing is? It's that I can't bring myself to say no to him. I am doing that thing all over again. I can't resist the impulse of being around him. Even if I know it's so wrong, I still want to be close to him, no matter the circumstances. And it's just for two weeks. Just a little more time I can still be close to him.

"Just business?'

"Yeah, sure, just business. You don't even have to talk to me if you don't want to. Or you can if you want to. Your choice." He blabbers. He never blabbered before. Why is he so anxious? Does he need me that much? I never thought that I am that important to this project.

"Just two weeks?"

He nods and looks at me full of hope.

I take a deep breath. _Say no Rose. No. Don't do this to yourself anymore. You'll get yourself hurt again._

"Fine. Two weeks. Then I leave for good. No other prolonging. I am just doing this because it's my job and you need the help."

His lips turn into one beautiful smile and my heart breaks a little more at this sight. He comes closer and he seems to want to hug me but I take a step back. His smile disappears and he passes a hand through his hair seemingly embarrassed by his slip. Well, you should. Don't expect me to get physical with you after you mess my fucking heart.

"Sorry. And thank you so much for doing this." he says and gets into his office.

I already know I am going to regret this decision. But I can't give up on being around him, even though this is hurting me so much. At least, it's better than not seeing him at all.

 **DPOV begins**

I get in my office and sigh deeply as some relief fills me. This went somehow good. I found a way to make her stay around a little longer. I didn't know what else to do or to say, but she got really involved in this project and she doesn't seem the kind of person to leave things unfinished and I thought that this might be a good enough reason for her to remain here. And thank God it was because I don't know what else I could have come up with. She is clearly way too upset to even want to talk with me calmly right now, I am very aware of this. But I have two weeks to make things right. I just hope that it would be enough. And most of all, I hope that she will listen to me for once.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

 **Sooo, see you tomorrow!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey! Sorry for posting later today, but I got caught up with a project for school and didn't have the time to write all day long until I came home. But here it is. Hope you'll like it :)**

 **And Bitterblue Fairchild, some of the things you asked about will happen soon, some of them a little later, but they will all happen. And I am planning for Rose to stay on.**

* * *

Nothing bad happened between us the whole day, thank God. Just another nine to go.

Instead, around noon, Adrian came around and reminded me of that dinner offer. I wasn't feeling like going out, but Adrian is a nice company and I couldn't resist his subtle puppy face, so I said yes to his proposal. Hell, he might even be able to cheer me up a little too.

We were deciding on a place to go to later when Dimitri came out of his office, his head into some papers.

''Rose, can you please call-'' he said as he lifted his head and saw us. His expression suddenly changed. ''Mister _Ivashkov_. I was _waiting_ for you for the past _fifteen_ minutes.'' he said seeming annoyed. There surely is some bad blood between the two of them. It's so damn obvious! Is it about what happened into the airplane? I deeply hope it's not. I don't need to be included in that type of drama now. I have had enough of it already. I just keep on hoping that they are arguing about business. Adrian seems a pretentious man when it comes to this project and maybe Dimitri doesn't like that. I pray to God that that is all that is going on between them.

Adrian takes a look at his watch. ''Oh, yeah. I got a little carried away with Rose here.'' He says smiling at me. ''I'm sorry. It's my bad. Let's go.'' But before giving all his attention to Dimitri, he turns to me, puts his hand on mine and asks: ''Should I come to pick you up at nine?'' at this, Dimitri coughed. God, he really has a big problem with people being late.

''Yes, that would be perfect. Thanks. I'll wait for you.'' I said smiling.

* * *

''What is the thing between the two of you?''

''What do you mean?'' Adrian asks confused.

''Oh, come on. Every time you and Dimitri are in the same room it's like a testosterone contest. You are surely not standing each other. Why is that?''

He chuckles. ''You can say that. Our paths go waaaaay long before this encounter.''

''Since when?''

''You can say that since forever.''

''Okay, that's weird. What are you? Enemies since you were in diapers? Do you know each other for _that_ long?''

''He didn't tell you, no?''

''Tell me what?''

He smiles. ''Nothing.''

''Oh, hell no. You won't get away that easily. Tell me. Don't just do things like these and then leave me like that. I am a very curious person and now I really need to know.''

''It's not really important. Just know that Belikov and I have some history.''

''What? Have you been secret lovers once?'' this would be something shocking.

''Ha! That's a good one. But no.''

''Then what? Are you competing with each other on something?''

''Not really.''

''God, just tell me! Why did you agree to have this partnership if you two can't suffer each other? Couldn't you just have picked someone else?''

''Well, my business isn't doing very well lately.''

''No, shit. You'll need to find a better lie if you want to distract me.''

But he is dead serious. ''Rose, I am close to bankruptcy.''

''But Dimitri said that we were the ones who are going to get the money from you for this project. How is that possible?''

''He said that to everybody?''

''Yeah, he did. What? He shouldn't have done it?''

''Wow. Well, I asked him to tell it to people, but he didn't have to tell it to everyone. At least not to the people at his company. That thing is not true. He is just stepping in to help me with my thing and I asked him to lie with me to some of the men who are my associates because I didn't want to lose their support. I am trying very hard to keep this thing away from them and I managed it so far. But if they would find out that I am doing that badly lately, they would just leave and end me for goods. And this project is everything that might help me.''

''Oh, wow. That's like, very nice of him. You know, with both of you not liking each other and all…'' who would have thought that Dimitri would do such a thing?

''Yeah, it kind of is. But don't you ever tell him I told you that.''

I chuckle. ''Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me.''

''But why did you keep on fucking with us for so long if you knew you would already accept his business proposal?''

''Well, first, you need to know that this is what I always do; I am very exigent with every project I take. So people were expecting me to do it again now. It would have been suspicious not to do it, you get me?''

''But God, the trouble you have put us through. Do you have any idea how many extra hours I had to work just because of your exigency mister?'' and that only meant me being next to Dimitri for longer.

He chuckles. ''Sorry for that. If I would have known that that thing affected you, I would have stopped earlier.''

''Eh, well, it doesn't matter anymore.''

And he smiles. ''But I must admit that after a while it became great to fuck with him.''

''It is, isn't it? The way he gets mad is only making you want to annoy him more.'' Ah, the good days when I used to fuck with him too before things got way out of hand.

''Yeah, it sure is. And plus, if I haven't done that, I wouldn't have had the occasion to meet you.''

''Yeah, me either.'' I respond smiling. He is so easy to befriend. I never thought I would say this, but I guess I would miss his colorful company when he'll go back to Russia.

* * *

We were dancing and he was so warm, and his hand was holding mine, brushing my skin with his thumb. If I concentrate, I can still feel his smell, that sublime combination of wood and spices, invading all my senses. And being so close to him felt like finally finding home. I was so safe into his embrace. And the way he was touching me that night, like he couldn't get enough of me, every touch of his making my skin tremble. He kissed my temple and told me those sweet words as he kept me close to his heart. Why did he give me all those false hopes? Why did I let him do that?

''Rose?'' my reverie gets interrupted.

''Huh? Sorry, what were you saying?''

''I asked you if we should order dessert. Where were you?''

''Oh, I just got carried away a little. Sorry again. Yeah, it would be a good idea to get some dessert.''

After we order, he asks me that question again. I think it's the fifth time he does in the last two hours:

''Rose, what is wrong with you? You seem so off lately. Is it that bad?''

''I'm fine, I just can't concentrate. I am sorry, but I guess that I am kind of tired.'' tired of everything. But mostly of myself and my hopelessness.

* * *

Adrian takes me home and after I unbuckle my seat belt, as I reach my hand to open the door, Adrian stops me.

''Rose, I would like to ask you something.'' He seems anxious. It's unusual for me to see him like this. I don't know him for so long, but he always seems so confident.

''Um, okay. Go ahead, ask me.''

''Would you want to go out with me some time?''

I laugh a little. ''What do you mean? Didn't we just do that?''

''No, I mean _go_ out with me. Like, on a _date_. You and me.''

Oh, sweetie, please don't do this to me. I can't see you have feelings for me while I can't reciprocate them. I really don't want you to be in my situation. You are way too good to me for me to do this to you.

''Look, Adrian, you are a nice man and-''

He shakes his head and chuckles. ''Oh, here comes the speech.'' He announces.

''I beg your pardon? What are you talking about?''

He giggles. ''You know, the _speech_. The one all the girls know and deliver in these kinds of situations. Look, Adrian, you are a nice guy and many other things and I like you a lot, but not in _that_ way; I only see you as a friend.'' He says into a high pitched voice, impersonating a woman. It would be some kind of funny if it wouldn't be tragic.

At that, I laugh for real. He is the only person besides Lissa who can manage to make me laugh lately. And yeah, I was going to deliver him that speech. But I don't want to give him any false hope.

''I'm sorry, Adrian.''

''For what?''

''For this. I can't give you more. I just-''

''Oh, Rose. You don't have to be sorry for that.'' He says and takes my hands into his. ''Your heart doesn't belong to me. It's yours and you are free to love whoever you want. Even though he can't see that.'' I frown. ''I mostly just wanted to convince myself by asking you out.''

''Convince yourself of what?''

''You really love him, don't you?''

What did he just say? I look at him, surprise filling my face. ''What are you talking about? Who is he?''

''The blind bastard'' I frown. ''Oh, come on, you know who I am talking about.'' I shake my head. Please don't say his name. Please don't make this thing more real. Please don't say Dimitri. ''Dimitri. I am talking about Dimitri.'' Here, he just said it.

I don't see the point in lying him. What would that help me with?

''Is it that obvious, huh?''

''Oh, Rose. You can see it from outer space in fact. I think that everyone who has seen the two of you together can confirm that. Except for Belikov. He can't see that. He is so dumb that even if I would write him a note or make placards he'll not observe it.'' Yeah, well, I am glad that he can't see it. ''But neither do you see anything, you stupid fool.''

I look at him bewildered. ''Pardon me?''

''Neither you have seen how he feels for you.'' I puff at this.

''No. He doesn't feel shit.'' I know better. I have seen it. He is aaaall about his precious business and sex. Nothing more.

''Come _on_ , Rose.''

''Look Adrian. I appreciate you wanting to make me feel better, but saying this is not going to work. I know things and some things happened between us and things are not going to change overnight.'' Maybe the both of us are not meant to be a thing. Maybe he was just some lesson come from the universe, even though I am not quite a strong believer of that it all happens for a reason bullshit. But hey, I now need to find one for what happened between us.

''But-''

''And anyway, I will leave Belikov Enterprises soon. So there is no point in this, okay? Just let it be.'' I want all of it to be done. I desperately want to move on.

''If you say so, then okay.''

''Thanks.'' I stop before getting out of the car and turn back to Adrian. ''Can we at least be friends?''

''Of course, Rose. I won't turn my back to you.''

 **APOV begins**

How can two people be so fucking blind and so stupid at the same time? It's a record they have just broken together. It's not obvious for neither of them, but everyone can see it crystal clear. They are just hurting each other pointlessly, getting to suffer from their stupidity even though they obviously care for each other. I swear that I have never seen a thing like this.

It all started for me as fucking with Dimitri, but seeing how he reacts when I am around Rose, I now get that he really is head over heels into her. I have seen him around women on many occasions. But I have never seen him act like he does when he is around Rose. It seems that he finally found his weak spot. And who am I to get in between their love? I won't do that. I really like Rose, she is a wonderful person. But I won't try to get her to love me if her heart is already taken. It would only bring her some more suffering. Instead of this, I can help them, can't I? He did this much for me. If not with anything, I can at least help him be with the woman he loves. I know him. And I know how to piss him off better than anyone. And if I get to annoy the fuck out of him, it's a win-win situation for me. I already know what I can do to make him act somehow soon.

 **APOV ends**

* * *

I made sure that Adrian wouldn't miss me very much. It was a good thing that he wasn't head over heels into me, he was just interested in me, as I caught his attention with my ''utter beauty'' and ''lots of brains'' as he would say on many occasions when he was hitting on me shamelessly. But even though, I felt quite bad for having to ruin his hopes, so I decided to do something about that. So the next day after our dinner I introduced him to Sydney, just because I had a feeling that they would hit it off quite well. In my opinion, they would make a really nice couple. What if I can't be happy? This doesn't mean that I can't help someone else find their happiness. Call it instinct or whatever, but I am quite good at making pairs. Obviously not for me, but for others.

But things didn't go as well as I initially planned. He tried to play his little game with her too, being the gentleman he is and kissing her hand and calling her beautiful and working his charm on her, but I tell you, this woman is not easy to impress. She just dismissed him, without a second thought and was a second away from flipping him off too. You should have seen the face he pulled. Hilarious. And I thought that this was all and things will just remain like that. But I can tell you that Adrian was very intrigued by this. I guess that he is not used to women not responding to his irresistible charm. And I am sure that he won't give up that easily. She surely caught his attention more than I did because after we left the front desk he kept on asking me things about her and I am curious to see how things are going to end between them.

And even though Adrian and I agreed to be just friends now, he keeps on sending me flowers every single day. I told him that he doesn't have to, but he said that I deserve them. What I did to deserve them, only God knows. He is just that nice, with no hidden reason. Or he is trying to make Sydney some kind of jealous because everything I receive firstly gets to her desk and she sees it and he is aware of that. And if he thinks that this strategy will work, I'll let him do it. It's not doing me any harm. I mean, I am totally in love with flowers. But it's a risky game that he is playing, speaking with her and sending me flowers that have a little sealed envelope (there is nothing flirty written on the paper inside, just things like ''Have a nice day'' or ''I hope you like peonies'' or innocent shit like this, but Sydney doesn't know that; she didn't dare to open any of them yet), and I don't know if it will work, maybe it will only make Sydney dislike him more instead of making her want his attention, but hell, let the guy try his thing. He knows better. All I know is that it is nice to enter my office every morning and see what flowers he would get me that day. Not a single bouquet has the same flowers like the previous and he is coming up with the most beautiful flower arrangements I have ever seen.

Also, we kept hanging out together in my office on my lunch breaks, of course, when he wouldn't spend his time hovering around Sydney and irritating her with all his flirts. He is such a nice companion. Under all that cockiness of his, he is a nice person and I like being around him. He is funny too and he would always find something to make me laugh about. I am sure that if Sydney decides to give him a chance she'll be a happy girl.

The only thing, well, the only person who is spoiling our good time is Dimitri. I swear to God that this man is coming out of his office at the most inopportune moments. It's like he can detect when we are feeling good and just comes around and summons some stupid reasons to make me leave the room or to take Adrian into his office to talk about some shit. When he isn't doing that, he would simply pass past us, throwing glares at Adrian and one time he even snorted when he saw us laughing. Yeah, you heard it right. Dimitri fucking snorted. He just can't abstain himself to act like that around Adrian. Like, what is his problem? Okay, maybe he has something with Adrian, I totally get it. Fine, maybe not completely, but the two of them have some history I am not aware of and that might be the reason. But why is he so obvious about that? After all, this man is his business partner right now, and acting like this is totally unprofessional from him, no matter the previous things that happened between them. Especially from him, Mister all-business Belikov. Is he afraid that Adrian would steal me from him and make me his secretary instead? Considering things now, maybe I should have accepted his job offer when we were back in Moscow. I still haven't found another job and I don't know which way to head next.

Well, a week passed like that, and between Dimitri and I, things are fine. Maybe fine is an exaggerated word to describe it. We would simply suffer each other and resume only to talking about files and numbers. We are just doing our jobs and nothing else. Just business. But to me, his presence is beginning to get more frustrating than ever. I have realized that I get uptight whenever I see him and some irritation fills me and that is becoming worse with each passing day. All I want now is for the next week to be over already. I am now sick of living like this. I have already packed most of my things and I have put them in boxes that stay just next to my desk, waiting for the day I will finally leave.

* * *

On Monday he calls me into his office.

''Rose, can we talk?''

''Yes, Mister Belikov.'' I am still calling him like that, even though he gave up on calling me Miss Hathaway a long time ago. But we are here for business and I have to be professional and I am trying to remind him of that, but he didn't really get my subtle messages.

I follow him inside and watch him as he gestures me to take a seat in front of him.

''Look, I just want to say that-''

''Is this discussion work related, right?'' just to be sure. His face doesn't seem very work related now. He doesn't have that seriousness all over his face. At least not that work-related seriousness.

''No, Rose. I want to talk to you about-''

I turn around and head for the door. I don't want to listen to him. No matter where the conversation would lead, I don't want to listen.

''Then call me here when it will be about work.''

''Come on, Rose. Just listen to me for _once_. It's been a week ever si-''

I raise a hand to stop him. ''Just _don't_ , okay? I don't want to hear it. And you said it's just business. Remember, Mister Belikov?'' and I exit the office before he gets the chance to say anything else.

What is there more to say? That entire incident was a big mistake and I should have known better not to fall for his shit. End of story. And there is nothing that can make me change my mind, no matter my feelings for him.

And for the next days, every time he will try to drag me into this kind of conversation, I still won't listen to him. He can want to talk all the way he wants to. I don't care. I am done with falling for his shit.

* * *

On Tuesday, Adrian came around and asked me if I would like to grab a bite after work and I said that I would love that. Somehow, even though I was in town for longer than him, he could find the coolest places to eat. And they had the best food ever. So how could I say no to him?

But our plans didn't go our way, because Dimitri asked me if I could stay after hours to help him with putting the documents of some project (a gigantic one I didn't hear of until that exact moment) in chronological order because somehow, someone got everything messed up. Why he needed that, I had no idea. He never asked me to do that with any other project; not that meticulously anyway and not with one he didn't need anymore. But I didn't argue. I was there to do what I was told to. So, I called Adrian and told him that we should postpone our dinner for the next day.

Three hours later, Dimitri and I were still in his office, with papers all over the place, trying to make sense of them. It's really annoying when people don't make a good job from the beginning and you have to repair their shit. Some of the papers don't even belong in here. What the hell, people?

At some point, I could barely concentrate, that tired I was. I started messing up the papers even more that they already were and I was getting really frustrated because they never seemed to end. I was continuously scratching my eyes in order to keep myself awake.

''It's pretty late. What do you say about doing the rest tomorrow?''

Well, that seems a pretty good idea because I could definitely use some sleep right now, as my eyes are stinging as hell, but that would mean that I will have to stand Adrian up one more time, and I don't want to do this. It would be rude. And spending some extra hours now will be the same as spending them tomorrow here. So what would be the difference?

''No, let's finish this now. It won't take much longer.'' I hope.

''Fine. I'll go order something to eat then. Do you want something?''

''No.''

''Are you sure? You haven't eaten anything till noon. Aren't you hungry?''

I leer at him. What? He is now supervising my every move? Is he counting every breath I take? Can he tell me how many times I used the bathroom today too? And the last thing I need now is to stop and eat. I am trying to be efficient here, if you haven't realized.

''I said that I _don't_ want anything.''

He exhales, seeming annoyed and gets outside to order his food. Well, Belikov, get upset all the way you want. I don't care.

Half an hour later the delivery boy comes around. Dimitri unpacks the food and extends a container with Chinese in my direction.

''What is this?''

''Your food.''

''I said that I didn't want any. Did I stutter or something?''

''Rose, don't be so stubborn. I know you are hungry. Just take it.''

I don't respond, just take the box, put it on the bureau and get back to arranging the papers. He does the same.

''What are you doing?''

''What does it look like? I am helping you put the papers in order.''

''What about your food? Aren't you going to eat it?''

''No.''

Why is he _doing_ this shit? I thought we got past annoying each other quite some time ago. I am really not in the mood for this shit.

''Why not?''

''Because you are not eating either.''

''So? I am not eating because I am not hungry. You are. There is a difference, isn't it?''

''If you are not eating, neither am I.'' he just states.

 _''Fine_. Starve yourself. Do as you please. I don't care.''

''Fine.'' he simply says and gets another stack of papers from the table.

I hoped that that would make him stop fooling around and eat the damn thing already. But nooooo. He is keeping on to his decision. Well, so am I. I am done with doing everything he wants to. I just get back to working in silence, without insisting for him to eat.

Twenty minutes later, I hear his stomach growl. I stop and look at him as he is still concentrated on some papers. I can't leave him to go on like this. He is hungry and he isn't eating because of me. It's like he was just waiting for that to happen so I would get to feel guilty for letting him stave, even though I declared I didn't care. And I do get feeling guilty. So I give in one more time. Let's do this his way. Like always. I swear it will be the last time. I grab my box and sit down. When he sees me doing that, he smiles warmly. Yeah, be proud of yourself, jackass.

''What are you staring at? Eat your damn food.''

* * *

On Wednesday, I was about to head out when Dimitri called me into his office. Nice. He just disappeared for the past hour and now he wants something from me. The things have aligned just perfect.

''Yes, Sir? I was on my way out. May I help you with something? Do you need me to bring you anything?''

''Yes. I would really use your help. I am looking for a file and I can't find it. The thing is that I need it tomorrow first thing in the morning. It contains very important information and I need it. But I can't find it anywhere.''

''But you have all the files in alphabetical order right here. I did them myself. How is it named? I'll take a look too.''

''No, you won't find it there. It's a file that my other secretary dealt with. I think it must be down at the archives. Would you go with me to look for it? It would take us less time if we do it together.''

I am at about ten minutes away from being late at my encounter with Adrian, but maybe it won't take us that much to find it.

''Fine, let's go.''

Half an hour later and after a lot of drawers opened, I am full of dust and the file is nowhere to be found. My phone starts ringing. It is Adrian. _Fuck_! I got distracted and forgot about him.

''Rose? Where are you? Did something happen? Are you okay?''

''Hi, Adrian.'' at this, I could see that Dimitri became very alert. Oh, so now he wants to supervise my phone calls too? Should I put it on speaker so that he could eavesdrop better? ''I am so, so, _so_ sorry. I just got caught up with something at work. I am so sorry you had to wait for me. Can we do this tomorrow? I promise I'll be there this time.''

''I don't think that tormentor will let you leave tomorrow either.'' He says amused. Yeah, I sense that too. ''What about Saturday?''

''Yes. That sounds perfect. Pick me up at nine?''

''Yeah. See you around, Rose. Bye.''

''Sorry one more time. Bye.''

 **APOV begins**

I end the call and I can say that I am proud of myself. It took me some time to piss Dimitri off enough for him to decide to do something about me, but all my hitting on her is finally paying off. All the times I have brought my little ''dates'' with Rose into discussion when I was around Dimitri surely annoyed him, even though he has no idea that they didn't happen at all. And now it's the second day he is keeping Rose after hours so that she won't go out with me because he knows that I was planning to take her out. Nice, Belikov, nice. Just don't waste your chance cuz. Your two weeks are almost gone and I don't know how much I can push you in two days. But all I hope is that Rose will be willing to give him some little chance to speak. I swear that she is the most stubborn person I have seen. If on thing gets into her mind, nobody can change it.

''Why are you smiling?'' she asks as she gets inside the room.

''Oh, you know. My plan is working perfectly.'' I can feel that things are heading in the perfect direction now. I just have to be patient now and get the results of my hard work.

She comes in front of me and watches me with one of her eyebrows lifted. '' _Your_ plan?''

I take her hand and pull her down, making her sit on my lap. ''Fine. Our plan.'' she was my little accomplice in trying to get Dimitri and Rose together as much as possible these past days, always finding reasons to make them spend time together into that office of his in the hopes that they would eventually work things out.

She chuckles. ''So, this means I should be proud of you doing your part, no?''

I place some kisses on the skin of her neck and she relaxes completely in my embrace. ''If you consider you should, then yes.'' But I really think I did quite a good job at helping these two morons. Really, I was about to get my ass kicked on way too many occasions these past days. From now on, the rest depends only on them. I don't know what else I can do.

''What would you say about a reward then?'' she whispers in my ear into a tone that makes me lose it in an instant. I never thought that she could have this effect on me on such a short time since I met her.

''Oh, I would love that Syd.'' and I bring our lips together, getting to taste her sweet aroma again in these past days.

 **APOV ends**

''You should have told me that you had something to do.'' Dimitri says from the other side of the room. Oh, really? And you would just have let me go, right? I don't know what you are after, but I won't fall for it.

''It's alright, Mister Belikov. It's already too late for that. Let's just find that file.''

Another hour later, we finished looking through all the files in that room. And we found nothing. It's like the damn file melted into thin air.

''I am going upstairs to look into the files there, Sir. Maybe it got lost somehow.'' in this moment I am capable of looking even into the bathroom just to find it and go home where I can feel sorry for myself in peace.

''Fine. I'll put the rest of the files back and get upstairs as soon as possible to help you.''

I look into every corner of that book case. Nothing again. But what if he put the file into one of his drawers and forgot about it? It is the only place I haven't searched yet. I open them all and look for it, going to the very bottom of them. I always put things there and forget about them. So this might have happened to him too. And I do find the file. It was well hidden under his shirt. Ha! He did this thing on purpose, I am absolutely sure. But what is his reason? Where does he want to get with that? Did he think that if he would keep me after hours only with him around I would suddenly want to listen to him? Well, nothing would convince me to.

Ten minutes later, he comes back and I was waiting for him, leaning on the bureau with the file in my hand. I had plenty of time to gather a lot of anger in me. It's not that hard. I am full of it every single day and I can't get rid of it no matter what I do.

When he sees the file in my hand, his face goes blank. He wasn't expecting me to actually find it. So I was right. He did it on purpose. This only makes me angrier.

''You found it.'' He says, surprise filling his voice.

''Yeah.'' I say getting closer to him. ''Your _shirt_ was keeping it warm.'' I end as I slam the file hard into his chest and then I get out of the office. He calls for me to wait but I don't look back.

* * *

Two days. Only two days and I am going to be done with all of this. I hoped that this week would pass as smoothly as the first. But the last two days didn't go as smoothly as I expected.

At seven, before I would head home, I deliver him another coffee. ''Rose, I would need you to stay overtime today.''

I almost laugh in his face. Of course he does need that. I am so sick of your little games Belikov. One time, it happens. Two times, it might be a coincidence. But three times in a row? Yeah, he surely is onto something. And all of his lame excuses are beginning to stink. I thought he had more imagination.

''Of _course_ , Mister Belikov.'' I cross my arms over my chest and get closer to his desk. ''What is it going to be this time? Should I color code your files? Go down to the archives and look for an inexistent file? Oh, or maybe this time I'll get to hide the file and pretend to help you look for it? Yeah, _that_ would be nice. I _looooove_ playing around and waste my fucking time.''

''Rose…''

''What the hell do you want from me?! Why are you doing this?'' I stop for some seconds to laugh bitterly. ''You know, if I wouldn't _know_ you, I would think that you are doing this out of some kind of jealousy or something, just not to let me go out with Adrian or even speak with him, because you always seem to do things like this when he is around. And what the fuck is with these ''you need to stay late today Rose''. Give me a break. You don't like him, I get it. But this doesn't mean that I can't hang out with him. I can spend my time with whoever I want and you can't change that. Just out of pure curiosity, what are you after? Come on, please me and tell me.''

He rises. ''It's true.''

'' _What_? What did you just say Dimitri?''

''I can't see you with him.''

''I beg your _pardon_? And since when my relationship with Adrian is any of your _fucking_ business?''

''Rose, I-'' he says encircling his bureau and coming closer to me.

I take a step back, restoring the distance between us. ''You what?! You _what_ Dimitri? What the fuck do you want from me? Just because you and I had-'' and I stop talking, considering if I really want to have this conversation. And I don't. I turn around to leave.

''Rose, _please_ , just for once in your life stop for a second and _listen_ to me. _Talk_ with me, don't just run away.''

''I don't want to.''

''I am not letting you leave until we talk. Way too much time has passed and I don't want to leave things like this.''

''And how are you going to keep me here, huh? I am going home and you can't stop me.''

''Rose, can't you at least _once_ stop _hating_ me and let me say something to you without turning around to leave?''

And him saying that comes as a hit to me. My eyes fill with tears. ''I don't hate you Dimitri, I just...'' I just love you too much even though I know shouldn't. I let out a short breath. ''Fine. Say what you have to say.''

He sighs relieved. ''You are right. I can't see you around Adrian because I am jealous. And that-''

''You have _no_ _right_! You don't _own_ me! You don't have the _right_ to be jealous, Dimitri! You don't! Not when you run all over town, okay? Do you get that? And you can't tell me what to do! You are not my father or anything else. You are in no _position_ to tell me that! Why are you doing this? What do you _want_ from me? No, you know what? Don't answer that. I don't care! I am done. _So done_. You have messed with my head for too long and I am sick of it. I am done with trying to make sense of you. I am leaving _right now_ and I am not coming back. _Ever_!'' I turn and I almost reach the door when he speaks again.

'' _God_ , Roza. Can't you see that I only love you? No one else. Just _you_.''


	35. Chapter 35

**Hello! Hope you guys had an amazing day today!**

 **This chapter is rated M, just as I previously said. Hope you'll enjoy it, and see you on Wednesday! :)**

 **Lots of love!**

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

I don't hate you. She said that. It's more than I wished in this second.

And I said something more. I just let it all out, no matter what will happen next. I can't let her leave without knowing that I love her. It's all I could do now. She needs to know. And I need to know if she will just get out that door or stop and turn around. I want to look into her beautiful eyes and see what is going inside her brain as my words reach her. My eardrums are pulsing from the pressure in my skull and all I can hear is my heart beating like crazy as I am praying to God that she won't leave. I don't know what I would do if this would happen.

 **DPOV ends**

I think that my heart skipped a beat in that second. No, I think it completely stopped in fact. It's like hearing that phrase shut my brain down. What did he just say? _Did he even say it_? I stop just before my foot touches the floor and I turn around to look at him bewildered, not being able to move a single part of my body anymore. His mouth is shut now. My heart begins to ache. Is this just my imagination playing with me? Am I hearing things? Please brain, don't fuck with me like that. I swear I won't be able to take it.

''I love you, Roza. Only you.'' he says it again and I actually see his lips moving, it's not just a product of my imagination.

And oh, God, I hoped to hear these words from him for so, _so_ long. I never thought I would. I thought that he just wanted to get me in his bed. But this only means that Adrian was, in fact, right. Maybe I should stop doubting people so much because here he is, my Dimitri, actually saying these three beautiful words to me.

But he is not moving another muscle. It is just like he froze in place, watching me, waiting for a reaction from me. And I have no idea what I am doing. I just know that I need to get close to him so this is what I do first. I don't mutter any words; I just get closer to him, moving with uncertain steps, my knees being on the verge of giving in.

I am breathing heavily from all the emotions that overflew over me and as I reach him, I get dizzy by taking in his cologne. It's crazy how much power on me have such little things about him. When only a few centimeters keep us apart, I slowly place my palm on his chest and I can feel through the soft material of his shirt that his heart is beating as fast as mine. It's so silent in here that I think if you would listen close enough, under the sound of our heavy breaths, you could pick up the rhythm of our heartbeats. And they are pumping like crazy.

''Say that again.'' it's like I can't believe it and I need to hear those words again and again and again. And he doesn't hesitate, not even for a second.

He lets out a short breath and tells me once more what I longed to hear. ''Ever since I met you, there is no one else I wanted. Only you. I love you so much it drives me insane Roza.''

After hearing these words, I lift my gaze up and look into his deep mahogany eyes and they are sad. So sad, just like he is already preparing himself for another rejection from me and I feel even sorrier for what I did just no more than two weeks ago. I thought that I was just protecting my heart from being broken but I only did things worse. I wasn't the only one who got hurt that day. But I am not going to make that mistake twice. Now, I am sure of everything. I am sure about him. About his feelings. He just told me everything I needed to know. And by hearing him say those words, I get that I misjudged him and his actions for so long. I refused to see things as they really were. _Oh, Rose. You just screwed shit up. Biiiig time._ I know I did. But I am going to set things right now and forever.

I raise myself on my tippy toes and now our faces are millimeters apart. I missed being so close to him and I stop for a second in this position to enjoy this closeness. He doesn't move yet. He is still waiting for me to do something, to see if I am not going to push him away again. But not this time; not ever again.

I move my hand upward, tracing the line of his neck, getting to the nape of his neck, and run my fingers over the little hair just under his short ponytail, encouraging him to tilt his head forward, to come and meet me halfway and he comes closer, but still lets me get further if I want to. And God, I so want to. I brush my lips on his, and he closes his eyes, sighs and raises his hand to caress my cheek. It feels so familiar, so right. I longed for his touch for so long. It's the smallest gesture he could do, but it means so much to me. I cup his cheeks and drag him further down, pressing our lips harder together, deepening the kiss and he responds eagerly. I have kissed guys before. But kissing him is nothing compared to anything I experienced before. It simply makes the world around us stop spinning. His other hand pulls me closer and he dissolves the distance between us, merging our bodies completely while we kiss.

We pull apart for a second but still remain close. ''I love you too, Dimitri.''

And his breath comes to a halt for half a second and the grip around me gets stronger. ''You do?'' he asks and I can already feel the relief in his voice.

I nod and brush my nose on his cheek ''So, _so_ much.'' and some tears escape my eyes. ''And for so long.'' I completely confess and gulp some more tears. Everything I am feeling now is way too much and I have to let it out somehow.

He wipes them with his thumbs and holds my cheeks as he looks at me for a second, then smiles lightly and moves his hands into my hair, drags me closer and kisses me one more time. This one is more passionate. His tongue enters my mouth and I can feel the sweet taste of the coffee on his tongue as it plays with mine. It lasted for a while and when we pull apart we are both breathing with some more difficulty.

''I want you to be mine, Roza. Only mine.''

Oh, but I already am. I have always been.

''Then make me yours now Dimitri.''

He seems surprised by my affirmation. But I hope that he got what I am saying here. I am trying to say that for me, this thing going on right now isn't enough. I need to feel him, to touch him all over. To know he is mine, just as I am already his. To know that all this thing happening now is true. And I need to let out all the tension built in me for so long somehow.

I pull the shirt out of his pants and start to unbutton it. He simply watches me, biting his lip the entire time. Yeah, he surely understood where I am heading. My cold hands make contact with his warm skin and I can feel his muscles lightly contracting under my touch as I explore every inch of his chest and abdomen. I place some kisses along his collarbone as he is playing with my hair. I take off his shirt completely, letting it fall on the floor. God, I want him so much. I move my mouth up on his neck and run my lips on his skin as his breath starts to harshen and his hands are gripping on my hips. I get further up and meet his lips once more. And as we kiss like there's no tomorrow, I remember I want to do something.

''Mmm. Wait. Wait a second.'' I speak somehow while we still kiss.

He pulls away and looks at me confused. Rather scared I would say. ''Wh...? Have you changed your mind? It's-''

I smile and place a finger on his lips as I shake my head. Me changing my mind is the last this is going to happen now. ''It's not that.'' He watches my moves as I reach my hand at the back of his head and slowly untie his hair and pass my hands through it, enjoying the feeling of his soft strands between my fingers. ''This is better.'' I say still smiling and he reciprocates it as I pull him closer for another kiss, picking up things from where we left them.

His hands blindly go to the nape of my neck and he finds the little key of my zipper, pulling it down until it reaches my tailbone. He pulls away and by getting his fingers under the material on my shoulders, he drags my dress down and when I am naked from half up, he gets to his knees, helping me get out of the dress completely. But he doesn't get back up and seeing him in this position, down at my feet, does crazy things to my body. The craziest things. And they only get crazier when his fingers start drawing small circles on my lower back, heading slowly down on my body as he is placing little kisses on my abdomen, making my whole body tremble under his touch and I sigh lightly each time his soft lips make contact with my skin.

He stops for a second and brushes his bottom lip and nose on my skin, and his hot breath tickles on me when he speaks. ''God, Roza. What are you _doing_ to me?'' then he kisses on me once more.

His hands travel down, squeezing on my butt cheeks and I gasp in surprise. His fingers dig through my nylons, ripping them apart as he drags them down, getting rid of them along with my heels. He looks at me with hungry eyes as his hands get further down, drawing now lines on the back of my inner thighs. My muscles begin to contract involuntary and the spots he touches are burning. I run my hands through his hair and pull him closer to me. He doesn't waste the occasion I just gave him and gently nips the skin next to my now soaking center and I moan lightly. I feel his lips turning into a smile and he moves his eyes up, meeting mine. I put my hands on his cheeks and nudge him to get up. I can't go on like this for long. We kiss one more time, his tongue meeting mine once again as we are both running our hands all over each other's bare skin.

I pull myself away from him, making him stop. Again. I so hope that I won't piss him off with the things that I keep on having to say, but this time the voice of reason is here and doesn't seem to want to leave my mind. And again, he looks at me questioningly.

''Dimitri, we can't do this here. Someone might come and see us.''

He gives me a playful smile, and without a word, he turns around and heads for the door. He locked it and then dimmed the light, changing the decor to a more intimate one.

''Better now?''

I nod as he is making his way back.

He is making his way up on my neck, biting and sucking on it, and his hands get a hold of my hips once more, him digging his fingers into my flesh as he is making me move backward slowly.

''You know? This is not fair.''

We stop moving, he breaks contact with my neck mid-kiss and gets close to my ear. ''What's not fair?'' he whispers while his hands move upwards on my body.

''This. I am way too naked and you have way too many clothes on, comrade.'' I say upset. And I am. I want him to strip down right now.

He chuckles. ''We'll deal with this later Roza.'' he says and bites my lip as we are kissing again.

I round my hands over his neck and he grabs my tights encircling them around his hips, and well, being close enough to the wall, he pushes me into the rough cold concrete. Now I am completely glued to him and I can feel that he is already getting hard as he is pressing himself in between my legs. Knowing that I am the reason for him being so turned on arouses me even more and I let myself enjoy more what he is doing to my body. As he is sucking and biting on my neck, with his hands gripping the flesh on my thighs, I reach my hands back and unclasp my bra. If he is not getting undressed anytime soon, then I will. He helps me take it off, leaving me uncovered in front of him. He smiles as looks down at me. He licks his lips and then growls.

''You are gorgeous, Roza. So _beautiful_.'' And I have heard words like this from other guys before. But every time he tells me this, I feel funny things inside my stomach. For once in my life, I really, really believe them, as I know he is saying them without any hidden reason.

Smiling devilishly, I lean over, my head getting to the crook of his neck. ''Take me now, Dimitri.'' I tell him and then bite on his earlobe. I can't do the foreplay anymore. I need more.

He growls once more and moving fast, he takes me to his bureau and while still holding to me with one hand, he throws off the desk half the things on it with his other hand, making a lot of noise in the process and places me on the edge of the desk. I lean back, resting on my palms and look around.

''Wasn't that your laptop?''

He threw a lot of things on the floor. Including his laptop. Isn't he going to lose all the important information on it?

''Oh, fuck it.'' he declares as he leans closer to me.

I chuckle as he presses his lips on mine. ''Hey, mister Belikov. Watch your language.'' I say and I bite on his bottom lip.

He growls lightly and kisses me harder as he lays me on the cold hard wood. Goosebumps appear all over my body. He props himself between my legs the material of his pants brushes on the sensitive skin of my thighs.

He gets up and starts with kissing my v area, taking his time to drive me insane just by doing that. And he heads up, tracing his path with kisses. When he gets on top of me again, he glues himself to me completely, pushing his hips in between my legs and I first feel the cold metal of his belt touching my heated skin, my body trembling under him. But then I fell something else. The other thing touching my skin, but through his pants. I can feel him pressing strongly on my center and goddamnit, he is so fucking hard. I need him in me right now. I don't know how he manages to keep himself composed so well, but I want to order him to take me. But I don't. I let him do his thing, just to see how far he'll go with building tension in me.

One of his hands is gently making its way up and down on my side body and I moan in surprise as his mouth takes up to one of my hard nipples, encircling it with his tongue, sucking and biting it slowly. Man, the wonders this man is doing only with his mouth. I can feel the bulge in my lower abdomen beginning to expand at a high rate. He passes on to my other peak and brings his hand up to massage my right breast, pinching on my nipple from time to time, making me gasp for air each time he does that, his eyes never leaving me from his sight. I was already breathing heavily and I am now pushing myself upwards on my elbows, trying not to remain completely breathless. Good God, I think he can make me come just by continuing to do that. But I still want more than that and with the soles of my feet I try pointlessly to push his pants down, but that damn belt is keeping them up.

As he picks up to my desire, he stops and rises, unbuckling his belt and excitement shots through me. I prop on my elbows and watch him eagerly. He reaches towards one drawer of the desk but I stop him and shake my head no. We don't need any condom. This time I am prepared. Anyway, I am glad that at least now we thought about that.

And all I get is him getting his pants down. He doesn't give me more yet, because his underpants still remain on. He seems to have other plans. My heels remained planted on the edge of the desk from when he was in between my legs and this only means that I am spread in front of him. And he surely doesn't waste the occasion to tease me some more. One of his fingers goes under my underpants and makes its way towards my dripping folds. I moan lightly and push my hips up as our skins make contact. He grabs the material with his finger and then runs its joint up and down my wetness, still holding on to the material. He presses once harder on me and I slap the table, and from the vibrations I produced, the lamp falls down from the desk. He smiles satisfied. God, he likes to torture me, no? Then, with a swift movement, he takes off my panties, ripping the material in the process. I love this combination of softness and harshness in his actions.

''Hey, I liked those.'' I say trying to sound upset.

He holds the material between his fingers and looks at it, then smiles devilishly. ''Yeah, me too. But I like better what's underneath.'' And lets it drop on the floor, turning his gaze to me again.

I am so eager to feel him in me again, now that I am totally exposed in front of him. When he reveals his member a silly smile appears on my lips. Yeah, it's as big as I remember. I need to fight the urge to take him into my hand and do him. But I wouldn't have had the chance to anyway because he doesn't waste much time and enters me and I moan his name hard as he's stretching my walls. I am feeling full again and God, it feels so damn good.

''Mmmm, Roza. I love when you do that.'' he says as he drags me closer to the edge of the desk and leans over me again.

He is moving slowly, and he is so gentle, his hands traveling up and down my body, sending shivers down my spine. The sex is even better now that we are both awake. Now, he is even more careful and precise with every move and their sensation is amplified by all these loving emotions inside me, driving me insane. I get a hold of his shoulders as he picks up the pace and I admire the sweat beginning to form on his forehead, making him hotter than ever.

Someone knocks at the door. Shit! We are getting busted.

I get my voice to stealth mode. ''Oh, fuck, there is someo-ah!'' he thrusts deep in me and I clasp my palm in his hair.

''Mister Belikov? Are you in there? We heard some noise from up here. Twice. And we thought that there might be a problem.''

''Oh my God Dim-ah!'' I arch my back, not being able to help it. He did that again, looking at me struggling not to make any noise. But it is so fucking hard not to want to scream when he is doing these things to my body.

A devilish smile appears on his face. ''Shh, Roza. They'll hear you.'' Oh, so this is how you want to play this game, huh?

That someone knocks again. ''Mister Belikov? Are you in there?'' but at this moment I don't really care. I dig my nails deep into the skin on his shoulders.

He hisses, being caught by surprise. ''Roza, that's not nice.'' he whispers into my ear as he grabs my left thigh and brings it upward, around his rib cage. All I do is to smile proud of myself.

Someone checks the door knob now. No really, guys, stop insisting. "No, he's not here. It must have been something else. Let's go.'' and the voices get further away from the door.

''Well Dimitri, payback is a bi-mmm!'' he presses his lips hard onto mine to suppress my loud moan as my back suddenly arches again, my sore nipples brushing over his chest and I round my palms on his shoulders, squeezing tight, trying to keep myself steady because it feels like I am free falling. Good God, I didn't know he could get in that deep inside me. ''Goddamnit, Dimitri.'' I whisper in his mouth, because I don't have enough air to breathe. _''Fuck_ , _you're good_.'' is all I can say as he doesn't stop reaching deeper in me.

He just smiles satisfied and continues, moving faster and harder. I am so ready to explode. My hands are gripping his hair as I am reaching my peak. My head is clouded and I am feeling high again. He is hovering above me and is watching me as I am struggling to keep my moans as silently as I can. And that smug smile hasn't left his lips.

''You're enjoying this quite much,'' I take a second to moan and to squeeze my palm on his upper arm. Fuck he's so good. ''aren't you?'' and I let out a long breath.

He comes close to my ear and whispers. ''You have no idea what seeing you like this does to me.'' And keeps his steady fast pace. ''Come Roza, come for me.'' and almost on spot, I do, not being able to keep it together for longer.

I was having my hands around his neck and I pulled him hard towards me, not letting any space between us. I raise my other leg and put it around his waist, squeezing and making him go even deeper inside me, while the muscles of my back contract involuntarily and my hips start to move up and down at their own will. I am struggling to breathe normally while moaning as silently as I could in his ear.

''God, Roz-mmmm'' he tenses up and relaxes over me. ''You are amazing.'' He whispers close to my ear.

* * *

Now we are simply staying one into the other's embrace. I am still completely naked and I am sitting on the edge of the desk, with him between my legs, my head resting on his warm chest. In this position, I can hear his heartbeat and it is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I rest my fingers into the belt loops of his pants, letting my palms hang, and from time to time I would trace the line of his spine or kiss the skin right above his heart. In my mind, I declare that spot mine and mine only. His head is propped on mine and he is playing with my hair. We aren't speaking as we watch the darkened city. I don't want for this moment to ever end. It's all I ever wished. All I ever needed. To just hold on to him and him on to me, and nothing more.

His right hand gets to my thigh and he passes his fingers along my skin as I watch him moving it up and down on me. But as I watch his hand moving some more, I get sad at the sight of his knuckles, remembering what happened not more than two weeks ago. I take his hand into mine and bring it closer to me to inspect it, passing my fingers along each depression in between his knuckles, feeling his roughish skin.

''Does it still hurt you?'' even though it looks almost completely healed, it still has some red spots and a small bruise is still visible. He shakes his head no. I bring it to my lips and kiss it lightly, then look him in the eyes. ''I am sorry Dimitri.''

He takes a better hold of my hand, entangling our fingers. ''For what?''

I bite my bottom lip trying not to cry. I didn't realize it completely, but I must have hurt him that day. Like really, really bad. I was so unfair to him by telling him all those things. ''For what I said. I...I didn't want…I didn't mean wh-''

''Hey.'' he says cupping my cheek. ''It's okay.''

''No, Dimitri. It's not okay. Not at all. I was afraid of…'' I sigh and pass my hand through his hair and stop at the nape of his neck. ''I was afraid of you not feeling the same for me. I thought that you…'' and I look down, focusing my gaze on the belt buckle of his pants, staring at it, trying not to burst in tears. God, I was so fucking wrong. And I did so much bad to him.

He takes my hand up and kisses the inside of my palm. ''Oh, Roza. I am the one who must be apologizing you for making you feel like that. I should have shown you what you mean for me earlier. Maybe if I-''

I blink away my tears and get my head up. ''Don't say that, Dimitri. It's not true. I am the one who wasn't able to see it. You did so many things to show me, and I didn't want to see it. That is not your fault. And I said all those horrible, _horrible_ things, trying to push you away. I was wrong about you and I… I was angry and I thought... I want you to know I didn't really mean them. I thought wrongly about you. But I don't anymore.'' And I move my gaze down to the belt buckle again.

He lifts my chin up with two of his fingers. ''Now I know you don't. And it's alright.''

''No it's not. It wasn't fair from me to do that. But…do you think you could you ever forgive me? Maybe it's much to ask, but gosh, I would do anything to take them back, I swear. But I can't. And I am sorry.''

He smiles lightly. ''I already forgave a long time ago, Roza.''

''Thank you.'' I say and I lay my cheek on his chest.

Dimitri places a hand on my bare and pulls me closer to him and plants a little kiss on my forehead. I love when he does that. I get my arms around his torso and hold him tight for some time.

''Let's take you home Roza.''

I prop my chin into his chest and watch him almost pouting. ''Do we really have to go?'' I want to stay here like this for as long as possible.

''Yes. It's late. And you should get some sleep.'' I want to argue but he gives me that look that lets me know that I have no chance, no matter what I would say. ''Let's go.'' he says as he goes to the middle of the room and brings me my dress and helps be zip it, but before he pulls the zipper all the way up, he kisses on my shoulder and brushes his nose up on my skin, getting to my neck. I turn my head and steal a peck from him before he goes to put on his shirt. It's such a pity to cover all that.

When he's done, I take a look around the office as we make our way towards the door.

''Shouldn't these things be put in place before we leave?'' we did quite a mess around here and there are a lot of things scattered on the floor now.

''Leave them.'' he says unlocking the door. ''We can deal with them together tomorrow.''

I lift one eyebrow. _''Together_ comrade?''

''Mhm. Together.'' he says smiling.

''I like how that sounds.'' I _love_ how that sounds.

''Me too.'' and he takes my hand into his and we get out of the office.

As we make our way through my office, I see the pile of magazines laying into the corner of the room on a little table, and they remind me of something. Of something I want to ask Dimitri now that we are together.

So, in the elevator, I get speaking.

"Dimitri, can I ask you something?"

"Yes, of course."

I reach for his hand and take it into mine. "Can we…um…keep this thing on the down low? At least for some time?"

"What thing?"

"Us." And he frowns lightly. "Not that I wouldn't like what we have, I _love_ it, but I don't think I am ready for everything that comes with it." I still remember how the magazines practically wrote for weeks about his relationship with Tasha and the way things ended between them, all of them coming up with the most stupid ideas. Can you believe that some of them even said that Dimitri was in fact gay and that Tasha was just a way of him to keep it a secret? That's crazy!

He drags me closer to him and passes a hand through my hair. "You are talking about the press, no?" I nod. "Oh, Roza. I would like for everyone to know that you are mine." And he kisses on my forehead. "But if you are not feeling ready for that, it's alright. What we have is ours and we can keep it on the down low for as long as you want to. We'll take things easy. Until you'll feel ready. What people know doesn't matter for me. What matters is what we know."

I encircle him with my arms and place my head on his shoulder. "Thanks comrade." But well, sooner or later we'll have to deal with it as the people would eventually find out about us. But I would at least have the time to get prepared for that shit and all the people who might follow us and want to know spicy details about our love life. But for now, all I want is to simply be with him, in peace.

The elevator finally gets down and before we get outside the building, he puts his coat on my shoulders and his earthy scent covers my whole being. It's not that strong as it is on him, but I can deal with the substitute for now. And I wait for him in front of the building, while he goes to get the car.

"Excuse me, Miss." Someone speaks from behind me. I turn that way and see a man dressed completely in black approach me. He seems to be carrying a little bag with him and he approaches me with a wide friendly smile on his face. "Are you waiting for someone?"

That's weird. Is this some creepo? "Yes, I am." I say full of confidence, trying to get rid of him. If someone is coming for me, he will know better than to try anything. And anyway, I would kick his ass long before Dimitri comes.

"Is that your coat you are wearing?" I look at him weirdly. "You know, it seems to be a man's coat."

"So what if it is?" I get defensive. What is the deal with this guy? And I so wish Dimitri would come faster.

"I saw you getting out of this building. Do you work here or are you just visiting someone?" he gets further with his questions while he lazily lights up a cigarette.

"That is none of your business." I say and I round Dimitri's coat on my shoulders some more. This man gives me the chills.

"So you do work here." He gives the verdict and starts looking through his bag, another wide smile on his face. I may say he looks rather satisfied with his discovery.

I take a step into the street as I see Dimitri's car just making the corner of the street and I hope he gets here before this guy manages to get out of his bag whatever he wants to get his hands on. The car pulls up just in front of us and I thank God that I won't have to be near this guy for longer.

The man laughs lightly. "Just what I hoped." He says but I don't give him any other piece of my attention.

The window from Dimitri's side goes down and he appears with an annoyed face.

"Get in the car." He says to me and I gladly comply and hurriedly walk to the other side of the car. Then Dimitri speaks with that guy. "James, just go home and let this thing be, okay?" Waaait. Do they know each other?

The guy laughs some more. "You know I can't Mister Belikov. I am the first one who knows. And now that you are here, everyone will know too." And just before I get to open the door of the car there is some flash coming from that guy's direction. Oh shit, did he just take a picture? I get moving faster and get into the damn car and close the door behind me.

Dimitri revs the engine. And before he leaves this place, he extends his hand out the window and snatches the camera from that supposed James.

"I have learned my lesson Belikov! I don't care how many cameras you take from me, I still got that photo on my memory drive! Be prepared to see it in tomorrow's magazine!" is all I can hear last from that guy.

"What the hell was that?"

Dimitri shifts with unease in his seat. "You won't really like to know."

"Oh, but I _do_ want to know. He took a photo of us. Give me that. I want to see it."

Instead of handing the camera to me, he sighs and takes a hold of my hand. "That is James, Tasha's _favorite_ paparazzi, and the most annoying person into this whole world."

"Wait a second. Tasha's favorite? Like, did she put him to come here?"

"No, she didn't. He has the greatest talent of following _me_ around. He just used to take the 'cutest' photos of me and her, everywhere we went." he says gesturing the quote marks and seemingly annoyed.

Well, I am quite mad myself. That guy just took a picture of us. And who knows how much of my face he got. I was having my head down and my hair was unclasped so I can hope that he didn't get much of my expression. I snatch the camera from Dimitri's lap and look at the photo he got. And as I suspected, there is not much visible from my face, just some shadows. He didn't get a good angle. And I don't know how much he can benefit from this photo he said he managed to get on his memory drive.

And instead of getting angry and act madly, I get laughing. The situation is quite hilarious.

"Aren't you upset?" he asks confused.

"I guess I am a little." I say still laughing. There is still a chance I would get recognized. "But there is nothing we can do about it now. He took that damned picture and he said he will give it away. Well, there goes our sneakiness comrade. It took us just five minutes." and we both get laughing. Well, so be it. Let the people know. What happens, happens.

The subject being taken care of completely, I resume to looking around the inside of the car.

''Hey, doesn't this car have that star thing?''

''Yeah. Want to light them up?''

''Yes, please.'' I say still chuckling from earlier.


	36. Chapter 36

**Hello again!**

 **blondjinjit, Dimitri will find out about that, but just a little later :)**

 **And Bitterblue Fairchild, there will be some of Abe later into the story. For now, there will be just a little of Janine.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Lots of love!**

* * *

Dimitri was still driving and I was holding his hand, resting them both on my thigh, as I was watching the little stars on the roof of the car, making up my own constellations. It's amazing how simple things like these can mean so much. In this moment there is nothing more that I need, just him next to me, sharing this silence.

But then, of course, my mouth has to do its part and spoil everything with stupid things spoken without putting much thought into it. Really now, I should learn how to control this thing. It always brings me trouble.

"Comrade?"

"Hm? What happened?" he runs his fingers along my palm.

"How many?" the question comes out of nowhere, unprocessed by my brain, but after it gets out my mouth, I realize that deep inside, I felt the need to know. Maybe it isn't right for me to ask him this. His past shouldn't matter for me, and it really doesn't, as he just said that everything he wants is me and no one else and this is all I need to know. I trust him with that. And I had some boyfriends before, so I'm no different than him; it doesn't matter that we didn't get past second base either. People do what they do when they are together. But I somehow want to know. I guess I always did.

"How many what?"

"Women." I say a little unsure now. Maybe I shouldn't push things that far but the need to know is nagging me. And he frowns as his eyes are still pinned on the road. "Come on buddy, don't be shy." I approach him into the funny way.

"Roza." he says sighing. Does he regret that? I doubt it. I mean, he shouldn't. He was just enjoying himself after all. And those women wanted it too. So practically there is nothing wrong about what he did. Unless he got some STDs in the process, which would be a total bitch. Besides that, I don't see any problem. But he still doesn't respond, so I drop the subject. It would be stupid to insist. I don't really care about that. It is just a number. It doesn't define him. I know who he is now.

So, to mend the matters, I get jokingly about the matter. "Fine, fine. At least tell me how many you did on your bureau. Am I special or not?"

"None." I puff at his answer.

"Hey, if you don't want to tell me fine. But don't lie. Didn't your mother teach you it's not nice to lie?"

"I'm not lying."

"Yeah? What about _Tasha_ that night?" remembering her annoys me for a second. Even though she is not around anymore, I still get jealous when I think about her. It may be irrational, but I can't help it, I swear.

He chuckles. "Oh, Rose. I wasn't really in the mood that night after I saw you." I somehow feel proud about this. At least that bitch didn't get some because of me. Good.

"But were there others?"

"Rose."

"Please? I know that I shouldn't ask. Your past doesn't matter. But I don't know, I just..." I really don't know why I am continuing with this thing but my mouth keeps on talking about it.

"Are you sure you want to know?" now that he is willing to respond, am I sure I want to know?

"Yes." So be it. I was the one who wanted to know. It's not going to affect me.

He entangles our fingers and holds on to them tightly. "There were other women. I won't say there weren't Rose. But I-"

"Yeah, okay. Leave that." I know that there were others and I really don't care, I mean it now. He is with me now and this is all that really matters. "I want to know if you did any of them on your bureau." now this is a more important matter for me.

He chuckles. "We usually didn't get to my office."

"Oh, good." I say proud of myself. But then I snap my head in his direction as I realize something. "Waaait a second. Does that mean that you…" he nods and a little smile spreads on his lips. Oooh, you little bastard. "On _my_ fucking desk?" he nods again. "Hey! I eat there sometimes! Hell, I spend almost all my day at that desk." And now he laughs a little. "Not funny, comrade." I say punching him in the arm and then pretend to be upset and cross my arms over my chest but I can't help but smile. All I know is that I will never look the same at that damn table. "I want that desk _burned_."

"Anything you wish." He says taking my hand into his again and it takes me less than a second to laugh myself about that thing.

"So, I was the one you inaugurated your bureau, huh?"

He laughs some more. "Yes. You can say that."

"And? Was that a good inauguration comrade?"

He bites his bottom lip and looks at me for a second. "The best." is all he says and gets his attention back to the road after he boosts up my ego.

We drive in silence for some seconds.

"Rose...What about you and…" he begins to say and then stops, considering if he should go further or stop. Well, if I asked, why wouldn't he?

"Adrian, right?"

"Mhm." he says nodding and I can see that just the thought of me and Adrian together brings that displeased expression on his face. He really is that jealous. Without a very good reason because he never saw me and Adrian actually doing anything except talking, but still. I understand him. I used to get that feeling too when I was thinking about him and Tasha. "But only if you wa-"

"No, Dimitri. We didn't do anything. Nothing happened between us. We are just friends. In fact, it's funny because you-" and I stop abruptly, taking in a short breath. Whoopsie daisies, my mouth spoke without me thinking about it once more. Really, maybe I should carry some duct tape with me from now on. It would be the safest way of preventing me from speaking shit.

"I what?" of course he isn't going to let it pass that easily. He is as curious as me, but he is not as impatient as I am. He would slowly torture you into telling him everything. I really have no idea where he got all that patience from, but I surely need some of that sometimes.

"Oh, nothing. Look, we arrived already. It didn't take that long, didn't it? The streets were quite empty." I say trying to distract him as he pulls the car in front of my building. _Yeah, Rose, good idea. You are saying it like he wouldn't have already been aware of where he is. It's not like he is the one who is driving the car, no?_ Oh, shut up. You know I can't think straight when he is around.

He turns off the engine and gives me all of his attention. Then he smiles. "You were going to say it. So say it." ugh, I so want to slap myself now.

"Fiiiine." I say rolling my eyes and then I pause, looking at him and plead him with my glance to let the subject go. But he is watching me expecting for me to continue. I take a deep breath in and put my hair behind my ears. Here is confession time. "Well, um, you were my, um...my _first_ , okay?" and I look around the car, trying to avoid his eyes for a second. But I have to face him. And when I watch him again, a smug smile appears on his face. Damn you, Dimitri. He enjoys every second of this. "Oh, don't be so proud of yourself." I say and punch his arm once more and we both laugh a little.

But his expression rapidly changes and his eyebrows knit. Then, his eyes widen and he blinks at me twice, just like I have told him some secret of the universe. I didn't think it my virginity would be such an interesting subject. "I didn't know that." He states. Well, it's not like I bragged with it in front of you or gave you any heads up that night. But he surely isn't very pleased about this because he is mumbling in Russian under his breath some things that I can't understand. And he seems really upset. I would bet my money on him swearing now, but I can't be sure.

"Dimitri, what happened?" shouldn't I have told him that? Well, _he_ wanted to know. There shouldn't be anything bad about it, right?

Then, his expression turns to worried and he takes my hand in between his. "Roza, did I... _fuck_ …" oh, wow. He just swore, so this is bad. "Did I hurt you somehow that night?" what? Is this the thing that got him that upset? "Please tell me Rose. I need to know. I wouldn't forgive myself if I would have. But God, I don't remember much except you."

I, on the other hand, I remember every second of it. That night was very special for me. Remembering how gentle he was with me warms me on the inside. How can he even think about hurting me? I know he wouldn't be capable of doing that. "Hey. Dimitri." I squeeze his hands and smile lightly. "No, you didn't do…"

"Was I rough or something? Please tell me that I didn't hurt you. Why did I have to be that drunk?" he passes his hand through his hair, seeming to have some kind of panic attack and speaks in Russian some more. "I really couldn't forgive myself for that Roza. And I'm sorry if I... if _it_ wasn't how it should have been. Was it a bad experience for you? Is this why you were mad at me? Did I do something to you that night?" nothing that I didn't like.

"Hey, Dimitri. Calm down. No. _God no_. And no to everything. It was perfect. _More_ than perfect. You were so sweet to me." I say and place my hand on his cheek. Gosh, he even held my hand the whole time. "Really." He turns his head and kisses the inside of my palm.

"Tell me."

"Tell you what?"

"What I don't remember."

" _What_? No." I look down embarrassed as I shake my head. Today was only the second time I had sex and now I am going to tell him about our first time? Hell no! It's like you would explain someone the plot of a porn movie.

"Why not?" _why not?_ Because it's weird as fuck, that's why! Does he want an explicit report? Some drawings too? What about a practical demonstration? I don't think that this part would mind me that much, but still, I am getting away from my point. I don't respond to him. "Hey." he lifts my chin up. "You don't have to be shy about it. There is nothing wrong with talking about things like that. It's about us." Um, okay, it is something to make some inappropriate suggestions or to talk about sex in general, but to actually tell him everything that happened on a particular occasion? I don't think so. I frown at him. This time I am not going to give in. "For me? I really want to know. Please, Rose?" he asks and I can't resist his face. _Nice. It took you just five seconds Rose._

So I tell him, but I don't get way too graphic. And to my surprise, it doesn't seem as weird as I thought it would be. It simply feels normal, like I would be able to share anything with him at any time. Plus, as he said, it is a thing about us, so it would be fair for him to know what happened then. And I really don't want him to continue thinking he did horrible things to me.

"And I don't know, lastly, you told me something in Russian. It was a single word in fact."

"Do you remember it?"

"Oh, of course I do." I would have that word ingrained in my mind forever. It sounded so sweet. "It was something like, mil-ya? Mi-ya? Mi… Naah, it's not like that. I don't know, it makes more sense in my head." A big smile appears on his lips. "I mispronounced it big time, didn't I?" he nods, still amused.

"What about this?" he comes close to my ear and whispers: "Milaya." And hearing it again sends shivers down my spine. I missed being called like this even though I have no idea what that means and, God, the way he is saying it only makes it more perfect.

"Yes! This is the one. What does it mean?" I am dying to know. I have searched the whole internet for its translation but as I had no idea how to write it, I didn't get lucky.

He smiles as he responds. "Dear." And he passes a hand through my hair, tucking it behind my ear. "My dear." A silly smile covers my face and I get closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder.

We sit there for a minute in silence and I almost fall asleep in his embrace and I get caught that I am way sleepier than I have been stating until now. And he throws me that '-told you-you-should-get-some-sleep look.

"Well, I guess I should better go." he nods. "See you tomorrow comrade." and I give him a goodbye kiss.

I get out of the car and head for the entrance. I turn my head and he is still there, watching me and a smile appears on his face when he sees that I turned around. An idea pops in my head and I hurriedly get back to the car and lean on the open window.

"Forgot something?"

"Yup."

"What?"

"You, _Mister Belikov_." I say extending my hand, reaching for his. He frowns. "You know, Lissa is not coming home until eight." I say smiling. And this is all he needs to hear to reciprocate my smile.

He parks the car and we head upstairs.

Still excited that we are together for the night, I open the door and turn on the light. And my excitement fades away when I take a look around as he is taking it in too. Well, it's not that clean, but it's not that bad either. It's acceptable in here. Just a blanket that is thrown messily on the couch, some magazines that are out of their place and some clothes that I brought from the laundry that need to be folded and put back into the closet, but I never really gotten to do that. I kind of feel bad right now. Should I have brought him upstairs? Compared to his apartment, mine is, well, mine is pretty poor looking.

"So," I say as I am shifting my weight from one leg to the other. "this is my home. It's little and it's not much but-"

"Hey. Don't do that. I really like it. This place looks so much like you." He says and takes my hand into his. "So what if it is little? It seems cozy. And warm. And sweet. Just like you." a smile appears on my face. He didn't say those words out of courtesy. He really meant them. Aww, he's so sweet.

I take a second to take off his coat and then my heels. "Hey!" it just hit me.

"What?"

"I am _not_ little." I say crossing my arms over my chest, trying to seem imposing. He just implied this when he was speaking about my apartment.

He comes in front of me and puts an arm around me, pulling me close to him, gluing our front bodies. "Of course you are not, Roza." he says smiling. And you know what? I am not the one with the upper hand here. Because I have to fucking look at him by tilting my head a little. And you know why? Because I just took my heels off and I have lost those couple of centimeters that could have helped me win this thing. And he is practically rubbing his almost one foot in addition to me in my face. Oh, damn you Dimitri. It annoys me when people tell me I am short. I am not. Well, comparing to him I kind of am but in general, I am not.

I squint my eyes at him and he laughs lightly. Then, he leans over a little, indicating me that we are going to kiss soon. Well, _that_ I like and if he kisses me good, I will make forgotten his earlier suggestion. But oh, things are not that simple. He is teasing me, not coming close enough towards me, and letting me make the next step. And you know what the next step is? Me having to lift myself on my tippy toes in order to reach his lips. But to hell if I am going to do it! So I resume to an area I can reach without having to do that. I pass my nose along his collarbones, kiss that spot in between them and then bite on his skin lightly, trying to tease him back and it works because he can't take it for long and comes even closer to me, meeting me halfway. And I can feel that he smiles smugly as our lips press onto each other. Yeah, your point was perfectly proven, comrade. Be proud of yourself.

"Do you wanna know what the coziest place in this house is?" I change the subject and he lets me do it. He already won, so what can you do?

"I'd love to." he says biting his lip.

So I take him to my room.

"There. Make yourself comfortable."

He sits on my bed, takes one of my pillows and smells it.

"Did I ever tell you that you smell divine?"

"Yeah, a couple of times I think." I say as I unzip my dress. He is watching me with one of his eyebrows lifted as I get it down my shoulders. Oh, he is so hot when he does that. I take the dress off completely, remaining bare in front of him. I place myself on his lap and we start kissing. This night is far from ending.

* * *

At five, my alarm goes off. I hurriedly get up and prop my hand upon Dimitri's chest to get to the phone. After the loud ringing sound has finally stopped, he drags my hand from under myself and I end up plopping on his chest.

Still dismayed from sleeping, I squint my eyes in his direction. "Hey, what was that for?"

But he doesn't respond, just takes my mouth into a sweet kiss. Well, I could definitely get used to that.

After a couple of seconds of admiring his sleepy face, I decide to speak.

"You know, we should get ready. It's five already." I say and yawn widely. Well, we didn't get much sleep last night, but I don't complain. At all.

"No."

" _No_?" He shakes his head. "How come?"

"We can go later."

"Oh, the advantages of banging your boss." I say and we both laugh.

But after a while of lazily sitting there and just looking at each other, I get out of the bed and go to the closet to get some clothes.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to take a shower."

"May I join?"

"Only if you promise to behave."

He considers things for a second and then shakes his head no, smiling.

 _"Meh_ , comrade, wrong answer. I'll have to disappoint you today. I don't want my skin to get wrinkly." I say as I wink and get close to him to give him another kiss before I enter the bathroom. And no really, but if I would have given in, I don't think we would have gotten out of that shower for some time. Plus, I really think we should take a little break because I don't think I will be able to walk straight today if we go on like this.

When I pull away and turn around to head towards the bathroom, I feel that the sheet I wrapped myself in got caught in something. By someone in fact. I turn around and face Dimitri again.

"Hey, let go of that." and he shakes his head. "Fine then." I let go of the edges keeping the sheet on me, it falls on the floor and I remain completely naked. He turns to one side and extends a hand to catch me and I squeal and run into the bathroom laughing.

* * *

When I get out of the bathroom, I find a Dimitri who is putting on his pants. I look at him and pout jokingly.

"Oh, comrade, I thought you were already into the kitchen making me breakfast." I say and I laugh.

"We can do that too. We have plenty of time." Maybe not that much; we are one hour late already, but who is counting them? I have a passing ticket.

"Nah, we don't have to. I don't eat much in the morning anyway."

"I can make you some pancakes." he surely knows I like pancakes as it was all I wanted to eat in the mornings back in Russia.

And my eyes get glowing at his offer. "Fluffy ones? I _love_ fluffy ones." he nods. "That's a deal. And I'm making the coffee then."

He gets his shirt and wants to put it on, but it is all wrinkly. I get to my closet and get out the shirt I got from him that morning when I sneaked out and hand the hanger to him.

"You kept this?" he asks smiling.

"Yeah, I did." I couldn't bring myself to give it away. It would have been one of his things that I would have had. But now that I have him, the shirt doesn't interest me anymore. "Now come. Don't make me wait with those pancakes."

* * *

Half an hour later we are still in the kitchen, me eating and laughing at a joke that Dimitri made. Yeah, he makes jokes, everybody. Under all that seriousness, he is really funny. And I was missing it all out.

Lissa comes home earlier and makes her entrance into the kitchen, shock filling her words.

"Rose? What are you doing home at thi- Oh, hi!" she stops into the doorframe at our sight and the shock on her face only gets bigger. "Hello, Mister Belikov." she says and I can feel the confusion in her voice. She didn't expect to get home to this.

"Good morning, Lissa. And please, call me Dimitri."

"Come, Liss, come! You _have_ to taste this. This man makes the best pancakes in the whole world. I am already on my third serving. And they are so fluffy! You know I never get them right. Can you make those for her now, please?" I ask Dimitri lastly. He nods and gets up.

"You don't have to bother, Dimitri." Lissa responds kindly. Pff. Like someone could resist these pancakes after they get a taste.

"We kept the mixture especially for you, Liss. Aren't you starving? Plus, I made coffee." and at my offer, she gives in and takes a seat next to me.

As Dimitri is making the pancakes for Lissa, she turns at me and throws me a questioning glance. I just look at her and plaster a silly smile on my face. I am feeling like a teenager in love in this moment, with the butterflies and the whole package. She understood what I was trying to transmit and kicks me into the arm whispering ''lucky bitch''.

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

It is nine and we are finally heading to the office.

"What are people going to say about us? They must have already found out, right? It surely is all out there, comrade." Rose says concerned.

"I don't care." And if people have a problem with us, they will have to deal with it. I am with the woman I love. Anything else doesn't matter. "And neither should you, Rose. It will be okay."

"Yeah, but isn't this like, the perfect cliché? The boss with his secretary? Like, really? Oh, and we even did it on your bureau. That's the whole package, comrade." Rose with her stereotypes and clichés. She is so funny when she does that.

"Doesn't the cliché involve the boss being married or being into a relationship already? I thought that the thing with the secretary is all about an affair."

"So, then, comrade, are you married?" She asks smiling.

"No."

"Do you have a relationship?"

"Yes." I answer, an idea popping in my head. I just can't help myself not to tease her. The faces she makes are priceless.

And as I predicted, her face drops. "You are _shitting_ me right now, right?" She already got pissed. But I don't stop. I keep myself as serious as I can. And I am not smiling at all.

"No."

"Dimitri, _stop the car_. Now."

"No." she tries the car door but it is locked.

"I'll fucking _jump_ out the window. Stop the _fucking_ car. _Now_ , Dimitri." And she proceeds to unbuckle her seatbelt. She looks so cute when she gets this furious. It's like this fire begins to burn inside her, making her more beautiful. I want to pull over and kiss her until I can't breathe normally, but I keep up to my initial plan.

"Aren't you curious to find out who she is?"

"Don't fuck with me, please. I am not in the mood right now Dimitri." She answers and crosses her hands over her full chest, looking out the window.

"Oh, come on, please me. Ask me who she is." she surely isn't in the mood, because she is all tensed up. It's obvious that she didn't get that I am playing with her. She is taking this thing very seriously. I just hope that she won't punch me for what I am going to say next. She seems capable of doing that right now.

"Fine. Who is _she_?"

"Oh, she is a very, _very_ beautiful woman and I love her _very_ much. Want to know her name?"

"Yeah, I would like to know that very much, please." she says being on the verge of going apeshit.

"Roza." I lastly say, smiling.

"Oh, you, you, you, _ugh_! Don't do things like that to me!" she says punching my thigh. "I swear I was a second away from jumping out that window." Then, she turns my way, smiling and gets her hand to the nape of my neck, passing her fingers on my skin. God, these little things are driving me insane. "So, are we a thing now, huh?"

I take her hand and kiss the inside of her palm. "Of course we are."

She entangles our fingers and gets our hands on her thigh to rest. "I like how that sounds comrade." Yeah, I like that too. Very much.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

We exit the same car and people into the parking lot are already staring. Yay! Can't they just keep it to themselves? We are not circus workers, really. But that is not the only thing that happens. In a flash, the place gets full of people with cameras hanging from their necks and they get straight to questioning us. Well, _shit_. Not knowing what I should do, I throw a scared glance towards Dimitri, who is having a displeased expression on his face as the people encircle us, coming out of nowhere.

He comes to me and slips his fingers between mine, taking my hand into his. I freak out. Should we do that in public? I look at him, trying to transmit him that we shouldn't do that. Maybe it's too early. I also try to pull my hand back, but he doesn't let go. "Rose, stay calm. There is nothing wrong with this." he whispers. And you know what? He is totally right. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. I first was afraid of people talking shit about me for having a relationship with my boss, but if people have a problem with this, they can go and fuck themselves. I love him and he loves me and I am not going to stay away from him anymore. And especially if some fuckers have something to comment about this. It's not their life, it's mine. "And don't tell them anything, no matter what they ask. They'll eventually get tired and leave." He lastly says to me and hurriedly drags me out of there as they are shamelessly taking photos of us.

"Mister Belikov, what happened with your last girlfriend?" well, I hope she went to hell.

"Mister Belikov, is this your new lover?" no, he is just holding my hand so that I wouldn't get lost.

"Miss, are you two in love?" yeah, we very much are.

"Isn't Tasha jealous?" yeah, she is jealous as fuck but she can just go fuck herself. He is with me now.

"Mister Belikov, is it true that this woman is your secretary, right?" yeah, so what the hell is the problem there?

"Mister Belikov, is she the reason you broke up with Tasha?" God, would people stop thinking that I was the one who broke them apart?

"Miss, did you get the job just because you are with him and kept it a secret until now because of that?" what the fuck? I just want to turn and punch whoever said that but I try to stay calm and Dimitri tightens his fingers on my palm, transmitting me that he's there for me. They'll eventually get tired and leave I keep on saying to myself as my heart starts beating faster while we are still on our way through the crowd around us. God, I was so not prepared for this shit. And I really don't appreciate all this attention I get all of a sudden.

"Mister Belikov, was your trip to Russia from two weeks ago a romantic escapade?" oh, I so wish it would have been that instead of that bad episode we had.

And God, these people have so many other things to ask but I don't understand most of them because they are talking over each other. They want to know everything and their questions keep on pouring over us.

And when we are close enough to the entrance, one of those bastards gets a hold of my elbow and pulls me towards him, trying to get a good photo of my face as I was covering it as well as I could with my hair and my palm as a concealment. I don't get to react fast enough to that and I swear that the next thing I know is that the guy is sitting in front of me with a bloody nose and Dimitri is by my side and telling that guy to get out of our face. What the hell did just happen? He takes me away from there as that guy is threatening him to sue him for hitting him, but Dimitri simply doesn't give a fuck. Neither do I. That fucker had it coming, if not from Dimitri, then from me.

We finally enter the enormous building and I get to take a normal breath in the past three minutes. I am already sick of these people. We go to the right side of the hallway, getting cover from everyone that might be around. I really need a moment of peace now.

"Are you alright, Roza?" Dimitri asks me concerned and gets my hair out of my face.

I plant my forehead into his chest and sigh, being already exhausted. "Now I am. But will things forever be like this?"

"Just until they get used to it. It's news for them. They'll eventually give up." I encircle him with my hands and sigh once more. God knows how much that will take. "I am really sorry you had to go through that Rose."

"Well, it still would have happened someday. And it's not your fault anyway."

"Yeah, but you said you weren't ready for it and now you just got dragged into it. I have expected them to be here, but as I didn't see them when I parked the car I thought that we were safe. I am sorry for that."

"Well, comrade, I am as ready as I'll ever be, so stop worrying about it. It already happened and I will get used to it." It's not like some people would make me give up on him.

He smiles lightly and kisses my forehead. "And are you ready to get further?" he asks tilting his head towards the other side of the hallway. I nod and we head to his office upstairs. At least in here people are not as aggressive as the ones outside.

As I walk through the hallway, I observe that nothing has changed since last night. But everything seems different at the same time. _I_ feel different. And I know why. It's because this place doesn't mean a place where I am coming to get myself tortured. Now, it is so much more.

And the first person I lay my eyes on is a smiling Sydney who is gesturing me to get to her. I throw a questioning look towards Dimitri and he smiles. "Go ahead. I'll wait for you next to the elevator."

"Thanks. I won't be staying too long."

I walk towards Sydney's desk and on the way, there are two bitches that are sitting at their desk and sipping from their coffees together, and they decide to get gossiping as I pass next to them.

"So it's her." One of them whispers not silently enough.

"Well, let's see how much she will last." The other one says smiling and as I look at them squinting my eyes they shut up in an instant and go back to doing their thing. They can get their opinions and shove them up their flat asses. I am not going to let people like them affect me.

Instead, I let Sydney fill me up with her cheerfulness. She saw Dimitri and I holding hands and now she is lightly jumping up and down excitedly as I reach her and her happiness is contagious, making me smile. When I get close enough, she gets from under her desk a magazine. And at its sight I shake my head no. I so don't want to read what people who have no idea about what is going on have to say.

"It's not what you think. I want to show you something nice."

"Well, then impress me please."

And what she shows me really impresses me. She shows me an article about me and Dimitri and it's mostly about 'Who is the mysterious woman Dimitri Belikov has been seen yesterday night leaving the quarters of his business with?' and 'Could she be the woman he has been seen at a charitable dinner some weeks ago with?' and many other questions that would make the readers go buy another edition of that magazine. But what Sydney wanted me to see are the pictures from that article. Along with the picture James took of us last night, there is another one of me and Dimitri on that page. One I didn't even know existed. But gosh, I fall in love with it on an instant.

It's a picture of me and him, made when we were at that charitable dinner. Hell, I didn't even know there were people taking photos, that distracted I was about other things around. And the photo is taken just after we descended the stairs because I am attached to Dimitri, having my hand around his upper arm, and the décor is right and plus, I am a little leaning over to his side, and they might have just caught the moment I was asking him why everyone was staring at us. But there is one thing I didn't observe that night but that I can clearly see into this picture. I wasn't paying much attention to him, being distracted by everyone staring at us, and I didn't get to see the way he was looking at me in the moment the photo was taken. As I was looking around, Dimitri had his head slightly turned towards me and his eyes were pinned on me, only on me, looking at me just like he did when we were upstairs, with that glint in his eyes. And on his lips, there is a slight smile that makes my knees go weak. Gosh, there is so much love into that glance of his and I was just too blind to see it.

"You showed her without me, babe?" I hear Adrian's voice coming from behind me. And what did he just say? Oh, boy, Sydney is so not going to like being called like that.

"Well, I couldn't wait, I was way too excited. It's not my fault that you are late. You should have come on time." Sydney responds and Adrian goes to her and gives her a little kiss on the lips.

I look at them shocked. "Wha-? How? _When_?" They both laugh at my confusion. But really, when the hell did they get that close? Just two days ago they were ready to rip each other's heads off. Trust me, I was there.

"Oh, Rose. I needed a reason to send you all those flowers without you thinking I was trying to make Belikov jealous, right?" so, this is why he was doing that? It kind of makes sense, considering that he is the reason Dimitri eventually confessed to me that he is jealous. Wow, we both got played by them. "And Syd right here," he says kissing her once more. "Only helped me keep the two of you together for longer into that office. Where do you think that all those papers you both had to take care of came from?"

"So, this means that the two of you…pretended all this time to hate each other?"

They both nod. "We got along fine way before you decided to make us meet, sweetie. We met just the day before you came with Adrian and introduced him to me, and anyway, that was a nice gesture from you, but we have already made a little plan together, as Adrian needed some help with dealing with you both blind people. It amazes me how long it took you to realize all of this, but still, it's better late than never. And we quite enjoyed playing that game in front of you, Rose. It was so exciting!" Sydney responds this time. "And if you'd only know on how many occasions you were close enough to catch us! I don't know how you did it, but you kept on finding our little hiding spots." she laughs and it gets contagious. Nice. They are such good actors, what can I say?

But I can't stay for longer with them because Dimitri is waiting for me and I promise that I will come back later. I am so not going to let them get away with this little thing they did. I want to know everything.

And as I leave the two lovers do their thing and head towards where I know Dimitri is, someone bumps into me. Really? I get it that this place is quite crowded, but isn't this damn front desk area big enough or what? I turn my gaze into the person's direction and it takes me a second to recognize who the person is. _It's fucking Tasha_! But she is dressed so unlike her, into baggy clothes and she is wearing a cap and a pair of big sunglasses, trying to get around unobserved. But she surely wanted me to observe her. When she catches my eye, her face turns into a displeased expression. What? Did she come here to convince herself? To see this thing with her own eyes? Couldn't she believe it when she saw the pictures into the magazines? Well, if she is here already, _I_ am going to convince her right here and right now. I wanted to pay her back for so long now and I know the perfect way to do it.

So, without paying much attention to her, I leave her behind, and I make my way towards the elevator, where I find Dimitri. We both smile as we see each other and as I reach him, I take his hand into mine. I lean over to kiss him, and I don't pull away for some good long seconds, enjoying his lips on mine. And I am one hundred percent sure that Tasha is watching. Well, I hope she likes what she sees because she will be seeing this thing quite often if she keeps on being around.

When I pull away, Dimitri is smiling. "What was that for?"

I smile too, pleased with myself. Maybe I was kind of mean to do that, but I just wanted to pay her back so fucking bad. "Just because." I respond to him and give him one more little kiss.

We get inside the elevator and it's kind of crowded in here. We are a total of six people in here. As the elevator goes up, Dimitri comes closer to me and pokes me into my thigh. I look at him questioningly.

One person gets out.

"You know what that blue button is used for?" he whispers so that I can only hear him.

I spot the button and I lean on my right side, getting even closer to him. "No. What is it used for?"

Another two get out of the elevator.

He smiles lightly. "You can use it to stop the elevator in between the stories."

I frown. This doesn't make any sense. "And why would someone want to-" but I stop mid-question as I see the playful smile on his face. " _Oh_. I get it." And I reciprocate his smile.

He comes even closer, dissolving the space between our side bodies, and his fingers travel now left and right on the back of my thigh, just under my butt and then they get up my ass, cupping it with his big palm sneakily and he gives me a little squeeze. Damn, comrade. In public? (it's only one person, but still) But it's not like we are trying to hide anything now. Everybody knows and I don't really care anymore. I have made peace with that already. It's better not to fight it. I am going to concentrate on the more important things now. Or persons. "Maybe we will get the chance to use that button someday." Shocked, I turn my head and look at him. Did he just say that? He surely did and he is pleased by my reaction. I hope that the man that just exited the elevator didn't hear that.

And now, as the doors are closing, he leans over, turns me to face him, drags me closer and as he lightly bites my earlobe he whispers: "I'd love to do you in the elevator." My whole body shivers and as he senses that he chuckles. And this sound is like music to my ears.

"But wouldn't someone see us in here?"

I can already see his eyes glowing. "No. There are no cameras in here."

"Hm, good to know for one day." And with my reply I defuse him.

I take a step forward and get closer to the elevator's doors.

"Where are you going? It's not our story yet."

I turn to face him. "I know." And smiling devilishly, I extend my hand to push the blue little button at the end of the panel.

But just as the elevator stops, my phone gets ringing. And guess who is calling me? My beloved mother. Oh, I should have seen this shitty conversation coming, but I was too preoccupied with other things. And I know I can't avoid it so I decide I have to deal with it now. The sooner the better, or the more I prolong not doing it, the more angrier she will get.

So I postpone my little adventure into the elevator with Dimitri and we continue our way up, where I call my mother back after I leave Dimitri into his office.

She responds but doesn't say anything. "Hi, mum." Gosh, I am already regretting this. I can already see the disapproving expression forming on her face.

"How could you?!" she already starts yelling.

"What did I do?"

"You have the cheek to ask me that?"

"I do in fact because I didn't do anything wrong."

"How can you go out with _that_ man?!" and I have to get the phone away from my ear for one second because I might get deaf from how loud she is.

"Don't say it like that!" _That man._ The way she said it makes me angry. She knows nothing about him. She just knows everything she read about him. She doesn't have the slightest idea about how he is when he is with me.

"Do you even think about what that might do to your reputation!? Of course you don't. You never do, Rose! You just go and do all these stupid things all the time! Is this why you went to Manhattan, to fool around with rich people?! This is how you are sustaining yourself?" and her words hurt me more than I might admit out loud. How can she think that?

"Oh, give me a break mum! Don't say it like I am some kind of _whore_! Is that your opinion about me? Wow. You know me so well! Yeah, I am with him, so what is the problem with that?! Did you stop for a second and thought that he might just make me happy? No! You didn't. I am sure of that. All you care about is your little _reputation_. Well, I am not doing anything to 'ruin' it, so stop talking shit, okay?"

And she doesn't give any attention to what I have just told her, just like she always does, and she just babbles some more about me making a fool of myself and embarrassing her and about how she found out from a friend at work that her only daughter is embarrassing her by going out with a man _like him_ and what was I thinking and some more usual stuff about me never doing the right thing. Yay! I really missed these kinds of conversations.

"Is dad there? Pass him to the phone." I interrupt her monologue. At least with him I would manage to say something too. He is way more understanding than she is anyway.

"Oh, he will so _not_ be on your side this time. When he will find out he will be more pissed than I am, trust me. He will not agree either with you going out with that man."

"God, he has a fucking name and you'd better get used to it because I don't fucking care about what the hell you think! I do what I want and you won't have anything to say about that. And wait, doesn't he know already?" I think the whole neighborhood already knows, that loud she is.

"No, he doesn't because he is not here for the moment. He has gone to Russia to take care of something for one of his art clients, but you'd better be sure that when he comes back home, the first thing he will find out from me will be about your stupidity! And you'd better prepare yourself for some more moral because he will surely not agree with what the hell you are doing!" And then she simply hangs up, leaving me hanging. Nice move, mum.

I throw my phone on the desk and lean over it with my hands crossed and I look out the window, trying to calm myself. Gosh! She's my fucking mother, shouldn't she support me? No, instead of that all she does is to tell me that everything I do is wrong. And why does everybody around think they have the right to say something about what is happening now?! It's my fucking life and I do what I want with it! I feel like crying from all this anger in me but I just resume to puffing air out of my nose as loud as I can, trying to get a hold of myself.

Some seconds later, I feel some arms wrapping around me from behind and a head leaning over my shoulder. I know it's Dimitri as I calm on an instant when I feel him. I turn my head into his direction and brush my cheek over his. It's good that at least he is here for me, along with the few people who are happy for me.

"How are you, milaya?"

I sigh. "I'm good."

He smiles lightly. "I know you're not."

"You heard it all, no?"

"Kind of. The walls are pretty thin."

"It's just that…" I turn to face him completely and he takes my hands into his. "She doesn't _like_ you and she didn't even _meet_ you, and she didn't even give me the chance to tell her anything about you. What annoys me most is that she is never willing to listen to me and goes on with her opinion about everything and nothing can change that, no matter how hard I try."

He drags me closer to him. "But do _you_ like me?"

I look at him weirdly. "What kind of question is that, comrade? You know I do."

"Good. That's all I need to know." He says smiling. "I'll make your mother like me too somehow."

At this, I laugh. "Yeah, _that_ would be quite hard. She is stubborn as fuck."

"Just like you?"

And I chuckle again. "Maybe worse."

"It doesn't matter. I'd do anything to show her I am worthy of you, Roza."

Aw, he is just so sweet.

"But let's just let her calm down first, okay?" and we both laugh a little.


	37. Chapter 37

**Hey there! Sorry if the chapter came a little later today. :)**

 **Enjoy and see you on Monday!**

* * *

One week passed since Dimitri told me that he loves me and I confessed my love for him too. And it has been one of the most wonderful weeks of my life. All I am feeling are butterflies and I get lightheaded each time he is around and everything is amazing. He is all I ever wished. It's so funny that it took us so much to realize this. No, not to realize it. To actually say it out loud to each other. And I wasted so much time denying what I really felt for him and thinking a lot of bad things about him, not wanting to believe that he really changed and besides that, in our stupidity, we just misunderstood for so long the other one, making each other's life hard and wasted so much time, simply because none of us was ready to give up on their pride and admit things out loud. But it doesn't matter anymore. Nothing that happened before does. What it is important now is that we are together and we are very happy.

People talked about us quite a lot. They still do, but we are simply ignoring them. It's easier like this. The media is still a little pain in the ass but you can get rid of them pretty easily. What I didn't like for these past days were the people around the building who keep on whispering and gossiping and elbowing each other each time Dimitri and I passed them, or even when I was getting past them alone. But I'll give this to them: I would have done the same in their position, being in shock at seeing him with someone new and I would have wondered how long Dimitri's new woman would stick around. And trust me, I am going to stick around for a long time, I can feel it. I never want to let go of him and he doesn't seem willing to do that either. But things settled down pretty fast and almost no one is bothering with this subject anymore. They got used to the fact that we are a thing now and the gossip eventually ceased. At least the most of it. Because, of course, there are some bitches around the office too, who are throwing me all-knowingly glances and nasty smiles and even call me jokingly ''the one'' when they think I can't hear them. But I do. And they annoy the shit out of me, no matter how hard I try to ignore them. I warned them that one day one of them is going to end up bald, but they simply don't care. I just wish that they would fucking leave but I am so not going to be the Tasha-type kind of girlfriend that thinks that if her man is the owner of the business she can go around and fire whoever she wants. I didn't even tell him anything about them because I can fight them in so many other ways, and if they will not stop, I will not hesitate to. The other, nicer girls from the office excitedly asked me how I ended up being Dimitri's girlfriend the first time they caught me alone and I just told them that it simply happened. Because this was the truth. Who would have thought that getting a job would bring me the love of my life? So, we just happened. And he is the most wonderful thing that haphazardly happened to me.

* * *

As I am putting some papers in order for the quite busy day ahead of us, the phone on my desk rings. Again. And again. And again. Fuck. This phone hasn't stopped ringing for the past week. It must be that bastard again, who is just shamelessly calling me and asking me a ton of questions about Dimitri and me, especially about our love life. And I am so done with his shit. I answer the phone at its third ringing.

"Yes! Fuck! He makes me scream his name every fucking single night! Are you happy now that you finally know how good he fucks me? Now, will you please stop fucking calling me?"

''Hello, Roza.'' the person from the other ends says amused.

''Dimitri? Is that you?''

''Mhm.''

"Oh, shit. Sorry. I thought it was that guy again comrade. What happened? You need something?''

''Come to my office.'' He says with a serious tone.

''Is there something urgent? I have a thing to do right now.'' Not that it would take me a lot to finish it, but I still want to be done with it.

''Yeah, it is very important.'' He says bothered.

''Okay. One second. I am coming now.''

I end the call and let everything I was doing and enter his office. I approach his bureau but he doesn't do a thing, just sits there, watching me come closer, with a little smile on his lips, probably lingering from what he heard me say earlier. But there doesn't seem to be anything on fire around here. He seems way too relaxed, comparing his tone at the phone with his actual expression.

''What's the matter?''

''Nothing. I just wanted to see you, beautiful.'' Aw, he's so sweet when he does things like these. And he always takes his time to make a cute thing when we are at the office, even if it just for a second when he watches me during a long boring presentation he has to hold, giving me a reassuring smile that my torture will soon get to an end or when he gets out of his office just to give me a little kiss and asks me how I am doing or he is sending me some texts asking me if I have eaten anything when I am way too busy to even notice the hours passing. But I can't help myself not to play with him a little now.

''Really?'' I say and cross my hands over my chest. ''This is why you called me in here?'' he nods smiling. ''You know, some of us have some work to do around here. I can't afford to waste any time. My boss might cut my salary if I am slacking off.''

He gets up from his chair and comes closer to me, placing his hands on my hips and gluing me to him, getting his forehead on mine and looking me in the eyes. I let go of my teasing plan and smile silly as I look into his deep eyes that watch me like there isn't anything else important in this room. Gosh, I can't get enough of this thing.

''Oh, I'll talk with him. I heard he's a nice guy.''

''Don't you say?'' I ask biting my bottom lip already. The thing is that I can't resist him for long when he is so close to me.

''Mhm. He'll give you a break anytime, trust me. And what work do you have to do now anyway?'' he passes a hand through my hair and stops just where it ends on my back, starting to pass his fingers along my shirt.

''Um, getting the papers ready for that meeting.''

''That meeting takes place on Monday. So you have plenty of time to take care of it.'' He lifts his head off mine and unbuttons the first button of my shirt, revealing a little part of my bra. So he wants to play. Fine. Let's play then.

''Then, I need to call that manufacturer.'' I button it up. He lifts an eyebrow questioningly.

''No you don't. I already spoke to him.'' He opens it one more time.

''Well, then I need to go talk with Rita.'' I close the button again and he frowns. This thing starts to bother him and I enjoy it way too much. Everything gets better when you tease someone.

''Yeah? About what?'' another time. He's not going to give up easily, right? When I try to button it up, he doesn't let me and gets my hands out of the way, placing them on his chest and I am happy to roam freely on his silky shirt as he does his thing.

''About a thing.'' I get one finger just under his collar and trace up the line of his collarbone and he opens one more button.

''What thing?'' one more.

''A thing.''

He smiles knowingly. He got me and he knows it. ''There's no thing.'' The last button gets opened and he drags the edges of my shirt to the sides, revealing my chest.

''Fine. There's no thing.'' I say defeated.

''So, you're not busy right now.'' He gets his hands under my shirt and draws lines on my back, moving slowly. I sigh lightly and prop my chin on his shoulder.

''No I am not.''

His mouth gets close to my ear. ''Then, would you like to be?'' then he tickles my neck with his nose. God, it's so easy for him to turn me on. All he needs is a few seconds.

I pull away. ''Hm, let's see. Do you have any suggestions Mister Belikov?'' he gives me a devilish smile.

''So many. You just have to pick one.''

''Nah. I think I already have one.'' I say and pull him down by his tie and press our lips together.

He pulls away for a second. "But first tell me something. Who is the one making you scream his name every fucking single night?" he asks me trying to seem bothered. Oh, damn you Dimitri. He knows he has so many reasons to be this proud of himself.

"You." I say smiling playfully as I am pushing him back towards his chair.

* * *

A while later, I am still in Dimitri's office but now we are only busy with working on those papers for the meeting on Monday, and my phone rings. It's Lissa.

''Hey, Liss! Aren't you at work? Did something happen?'' she usually doesn't call unless it is completely necessary. That hospital has a very strict telephone policy, so it means that something is not as it should be.

''Yeah! Oh my God, I am so happy!'' in a second, I get excited too even though I have no idea what she wants to tell me, but I can't help it. Her cheerfulness is contagious.

''What? What happened? Tell me!''

''It is Christian."

''What is it with him?''

''He got it!''

''Liss, stop saying three words at a time! Make a damn sentence. I want to understand something.'' And I want to know it all now. My curiosity already hit the roof.

''Christian finally got that job offer on this side of town! He is coming here! And he is going to move in with us!''

I get up from the chair and start to lightly jump around the office as I am squealing excitedly in unison with Lissa, and Dimitri looks at me questioningly. He'll have to get used to me reacting like this. He'll see a lot of this, I am sure. I gesture to him that I will explain all to him later.

''Oh my God, Liss, I am so happy for the two of you! I told you that things would get to be fine in the end. And it didn't last as much as we expected, so this is great! We totally need to celebrate when he gets here. When is he moving in?''

''Well, he has to be at his new job next Monday. So, I don't know, sometime this week probably. I guess that the weekend is the most favorable time. He still needs to put in order some things around there.''

''Cool. I can't wait! Can you imagine? I'll get to piss him off every single day!'' and him to piss me, but that is just some details.

''Yeah, me too. I can't wait for him to come. I miss him so much. Oh, crap. I'll leave you now, a kid just threw up. See you tonight. Love you.'' she says hurriedly and I know that she already put the phone down but I still respond, just in case she might hear me.

''Fine, fine. Love you too. Have a nice day!''

I close the phone and sit down again, resuming to what I was doing before getting this wonderful news. This is so cool. Lately, I really got what Lissa meant when she said that she missed Christian very much when he was away for the week, as I can't stay away from Dimitri for too long. All I do, I want to be close to him. And now Lissa can finally have Christian around all the time and she won't be so upset about not being with him and they can finally have a happier relationship as he will move in and- Oh. Crap. He is moving in. But where would they stay? No, not they. Where will I stay? That is the real question. There is not enough space for the three of us in that apartment. My smile disappears as I realize this. Well, I will surely not stay in their way. I'll have to move out. And it seems that I have waaay less than a week to find a place. Just two fucking days.

Ugh, it is going to suck so much. I frown and focus all my irritation on a pen on the bureau. I so don't want to go apartment hunting. My first experience with that wasn't very pleasant and I didn't actually physically did it. And even though, it took Lissa and I almost two months to find a decent apartment in this town that didn't look like it was going to fall on us at the first movement and at a reasonable price. We did that through correspondence with a nice patient lady, God bless her soul, that showed us everything around a lot of apartments and finally ended up renting us the apartment we live in now. How am I going to do this in only two days?

''Is something wrong?'' oh, Dimitri. I forgot about him for a second while I was deep in my thoughts.

I give him a warm smile to dissipate his concern. ''Oh, no.'' but then I think things again and sigh. ''Yeah. Maybe. I don't know. It's just Christian, Lissa's boyfriend, I told you about him. He is going to move in with us. And this is amazing for her; there is no problem with that so far. But for me, well, it's not. Like, at all. I don't want to be the third wheel in there. As you know, we only have a room and there is not enough space for the three of us in it. Plus, it would be super weird. It would be too crowded if you know what I mean. I mean, you know, they are young and in love. And I am not going to let that poor guy sleep on the sofa either. So, I need to find an apartment. And he is moving in this weekend. Where am I going to find an apartment so fast? It's Thursday already for fuck's sake!''

''I can help you with this.''

''Really? Would you do this for me?''

He smiles. ''Of course I would, Rose.''

I get up my chair and get to him, sitting on his lap and take him into my embrace, squeezing him tight. What would I do without him? ''You are my hero Dimitri. I really have no idea how I could have dealt with that. What are we going to do? Do you know someone that rents apartments or what?''

''I was thinking about something else.'' He caresses my cheek and I smile lightly. Whatever idea he has, I am all ears.

''What is it?''

''I was thinking that you could move in with me. Only if you want to.''

Isn't this a little too early? I mean, you are together for only a week. I take a look at our entangled hands that are resting on my lap and a smile appears on my face. I love this sight. So what if only a week passed? But is this right? Oh, shut up brain. Why wouldn't it be? We feel good with each other and anyway, until now I have spent most of my nights at his place and it's like we are already living together. So, why wouldn't I move in with him? And his house is so awesome. I will tell him yes. But, aren't you moving too fast? Should I tell him no then? Should we wait some more? Ugh, what do I do? I don't know what to do!

"You don't have to respond now." Dimitri says as he gets a strand of hair behind my ear. Ouch, he saw me thinking about this. I don't want for him to get me wrong. It's not like I don't like this thing. In fact, I like it very much.

"Dimitri, don't get-"

"No, really. It's a big thing. And you can think about it for as long as you want. And there are so many other options if you don't feel like it." He says smiling and his face is telling me that he is going to be okay with any of my answers. I simply love how understanding he is. And only the fact that he offered himself to welcome me into his house means so much for me. It's a big thing for him too. And it's a step he is willing to take. And I didn't do anything to push him. He didn't even have to offer himself to do that. He could have done so many other things instead, but he chose to ask me to move in with him. And you know what? We are not rushing things. It's not like I know him since yesterday. We are going at our own pace. So, things are evolving just the way they should. I smile, already making my mind.

"I'd love to. Really. It would be great to wake up next to you every single day." And I lean over to kiss my wonderful man.

* * *

On our last night spend together in that apartment, Lissa and I have a slumber party, just like the ones we used to have when we were teenagers. We put on our cozy pyjamas and our fluffy socks, make a pile of blankets on the sofa and lay there all night long. We watch our favorite movies, eat our usual unhealthy snacks, drink some wine, talk about the good old days, question our existence and wonder if there are aliens (this happened after we got a little drunk) and of course, we cry. Let's be honest. We have spent each day together for the last twenty years and we were soon going to be away from each other (not that far, but still; we are used to seeing each other every single day). Oh, and we were drunk. So, it's obvious that we cried. And then, after some more talking, we fell asleep watching ''Love, Simon''. Too bad. I really wanted to know who Blue was.

* * *

Someone is knocking at the door. Ugh. It feels like it is pounding right in my head. Clearly, we had too much Chardonnay last night. I need to find a pill or I am going to kick someone's ass soon. Probably the ass of the one who is knocking impatiently at the door. I get Lissa off me and after I fall off that too damn little sofa, I get to my feet and get to the door and open it in a swift movement, the grudge for being woken up visible on my face.

Oh, it's Dimitri. A smile appears on my face at his sight and I let go of the ass-kicking thing. I was the one who asked him to come around. I didn't know he would come this early, tho.

"Mornin' comrade." I greet him and stretch the stiff muscles on my back as I put my arms around his neck. That sofa needs to burn. Good thing that I won't have to sleep on it ever again. "What time is it?"

"About noon."

"Oh shit." He frowns at me but I ignore it. He still holds on to me not swearing, but I just can't help it sometimes. One of us will have to deal with it sooner or later. And from how well I know myself, he is the one. "We slept so much. Liss! Wake up! Christian will come soon."

She shots up on an instant, some of the blankets falling off the sofa. Damn, we did quite a mess in here.

"What? Is he here? I look like crap. And my head hurts. He can't see me like this." She whines some more and tries to arrange her messy golden hair.

"Liss, just wake up for now, okay? You still have time. He's not here right now."

"Ah, perfect." she responds, turns around and covers herself with the blanket, going back to sleep.

I turn my attention back to Dimitri.

"Come in, don't just stay there. Mi casa es su casa. Or the other way around soon. Leave that. Just get in here." And I drag him inside as he is smiling. Yeah, I might be really funny right now. And I have no idea how I even look. But he still hasn't run away, so it might be okay enough.

"Long night?" he asks after he kisses me lightly.

"Yeah, something like this. Let's go make some coffee, comrade. Nothing else will manage to wake her up." And me either.

* * *

At two, Christian made his entrance and that only meant it was my time to leave. But I just couldn't let go that easily. So after we made the proper introductions and the guys seemed to get along just fine, we got to spend some time together as we went outside and had lunch, and that lunch turned into a walk, and that walk turned into an early dinner and then when we left the restaurant it was quite late and another walk followed and when we got back to the apartment the day was suddenly over. Literally. It was around midnight when we got in. And it's good that it is that late when I am making my way out. We have to move sneakily in order for paparazzi not to jump on us. It's really hard to keep a relationship private if people keep on trying to get into it and find everything about it. But Dimitri and I are doing our best at keeping up to our decision. We won't say anything to anybody. The media always destroys everything and I am so not going to let it do it to us.

And I can't prolong the inevitable. I have to go now.

So, this is it. I am moving out. This is really happening. The boys are down, taking my last boxes to Dimitri's car as they wouldn't let us lift even a single piece of anything. Aren't they sweet? But don't tell Christian I said this about him.

After I take a last look around the place, Lissa and I get out too. Here we go.

"I am going to miss you, Li-"

She just hugs me. Yeah, we don't need the words anyway. I even hug Christian. Yeah, I am that emotional now, okay? Then, I get into the car with Dimitri and I wave at Lissa until I couldn't see her anymore. It felt like leaving home again. And I am. Lissa is one of my homes. But so is Dimitri now. And we are both heading home.

* * *

I open the door of the apartment as Dimitri is putting down the last boxes we carried up. They are all piled against the wall, waiting for us to get them inside. And the first things I see are red and white balloons scattered everywhere around the living room. I turn my head and I meet a smiling Dimitri.

"Welcome home, Roza."

"Aw, comrade. You did this for me?" he nods. "You didn't have to bother, but thank you so, so much!" I say jumping into his arms and kiss him. As I am still attached to him, he passes the doorsill and carries me into the apartment. "When did you have time to blow up all these balloons?" I swear that there must be at least two hundred of them, if not even more. The floor is full of them and as he walks, he pops some that he couldn't avoid. He puts me down and I throw some of the balloons around, acting just like a little kid. Then, my eyes land on a little air pump on the coffee table. "No really, Dimitri. Did you spend all night doing this?" I ask picking it up.

He dissolves the distance between us and kisses my forehead. "It was all worth it." God, can he be more amazing than this?

I put my arms around his torso and look at the many balloons once more. "And what are we going to do with them all?"

"We could pop them."

I chuckle. "Yeah. Let's try doing it with our asses. What about that?" and we both laugh.

* * *

Dimitri's penthouse is as cool as I remember. Even cooler, now that I am sober and I have the time to really look at it. The bedroom, I know it's big. But good God, this whole apartment is enormous. I think that only his living room is as big as my last apartment. It is all black and white, having a black leathered square sofa in the center, along with a fancy coffee table that holds a gigantic vase full of yellow orchids. It's funny, because this decor is reminding me of the hotel we stayed at back in Moscow. And of course, everything is completed by the colored balloons laying around.

But what I like most here are the three big paintings that cover one of the walls, which are keeping the minimalist air and add a little more color to the room. I like the concept a lot: the left one is depicting a woman's side face, painted in red and the right one represents a man's face, in blue paint; the middle one is an overlap of the previous ones, and the two of them are kissing.

And Lord, his bathroom. I think this is the place where you get to when you die and go to heaven. It's now pretty late at night and I am finishing my bath into the gigantic bathtub. Like, seriously, but I think I can fit three people like me in this tub and they would still sit comfortably. It's the perfect place to treat yourself after a long day.

I put on my oversized space pyjamas. Well, I kind of look like a hobo in this too long rocket patterned pants and baggy T-shirt that has an astronaut on it. But what can I do? It was the first pyjama I found in my bags and besides that, I love my sleeping clothes comfortable.

I get out of the bathroom as I am still wiping my hair with the towel and I lay my eyes on Dimitri. He is already laying in bed and holy mother of Jesus, this view. He is only wearing a pair of black plaid pyjama pants and his hair untied. Oh, and he is reading one of his usual cowboy novels. What is it so hot about seeing a man reading? What is even hotter is that he is fucking shirtless and I get a perfect sight of his perfectly sculpted abs. I bite my lip as I watch him turn a page and when he notices my presence, his attention comes my way.

He says something but I was too absorbed by him to hear it. "Huh? What did you say?" I ask as I get rid of the towel and get back in the room.

"I said nice pyjamas."

"Oh, are you used to more fancy ones? Because I am sorry to disappoint you comrade, but that you won't see." I stop in front of him and cross my arms over my chest, trying to seem imposing. "I like my pyjamas baggy. You'll just have to deal with it."

"I am more used with no pyjamas." he says and a playful smile appears on his beautiful face.

"Don't you say?" I get into the bed and mount on his bare abdomen. "So what are you going to do about it then?"

He licks his lips and puts the book away then gets a hold of my hips under my T-shirt. "Oh, you'll surely see what I can do about it."

* * *

From the first day I came into his home, Dimitri had already freed half of his dressing room and made space for me all over the house. I love that he was so eager to welcome me into his home. That only strengthened my feelings for him.

And about three days later, I decided that it was finally time unpack my things. I couldn't just open boxes every time I would need something for longer. I wasn't a nomad for fuck's sake. So after I got home from work, I got to work again.

As I am arranging my stuff around the house, it is nice to see that our things complete each other. All my girly things blending in with his everywhere. My red toothbrush with his green one into the porcelain holder. My heels and his leather shoes into the dresser. My earrings and necklaces next to his watches. His cologne here, my lipstick there, his aftershave, my body lotion, the objects completing each other perfectly. And I really feel like this is my place to be. I feel like I belong next to him.

I am now getting my clothes out and hanging them next to Dimitri's. The whole dressing room smells like him and I am drunk onto this smell as I move from one side of the room to the other.

At some point, I stumble upon the dress he got for me from Moscow. I get it out and trace my fingers along the soft silvery material and that night comes back to my mind. I go in front of the mirror and place the dress in front of me. I still love it. And I love the things it reminds me of. The way he looked at me when he turned around. The way he held me as we descended on the stairs. When he told me that I was the most beautiful woman in there. The food he ordered for me. How he held my hand as we got up to the suite. And mostly, the moment we danced. If I close my eyes, I can still relieve that moment. And it is still magical, no matter what else happened that night.

As I take another look at myself, I see a movement into the mirror. It's him. He is now leaning on his shoulder on the door frame with his arms crossed and he is watching me with dreamy eyes. He must have just come out of the shower because his hair is still damp and this thing only darkens the color of his strands. He is wearing a pale blue T-shirt and a pair of dark blue sports bottoms. And I don't know, but there is something about this color that enhances his features. It feels like blue is a color created especially for him. As I catch his eye, he smiles warmly.

"You were so beautiful that night." he says as he comes closer and embraces me from behind, his hands getting on top of mine. "When I first laid my eyes on you" he exhales close to my face and brushes his nose along my cheek. "I wanted you so much, Roza." he whispers in my ear and I get goosebumps all over my skin. "And when we danced" he continues as he is placing soft kisses along the back of my neck and I sigh lightly each time his lips make contact with my skin. God, his effect on me is crazily inexplicable. "You being so close to me" he turns me to face him. "I could barely keep myself thinking straight." and he kissed me softly.

* * *

As I finished arranging my clothes, Dimitri made us some lasagna for dinner. I must acknowledge this: I can make my way through the kitchen and I can cook enough things that will keep me from starving to death or spending all my money on takeaway. But man, he is the best cook I have ever seen, along with my mother, of course. He must have taken some lessons or something because anything he cooks tastes heavenly. Ever since I tasted his pancakes I totally became addicted.

I mean, is there a thing in this world this man is not good at? He is the complete package. Breathtakingly good looking? Check; especially naked. Is he fun to be around? Totally, after you get over the harsh façade. Can you carry a conversation with him about a lot of things without getting bored? Hell yeah; sometimes I am not even able to understand like half the things he is telling me; he's like the male version of Sydney sometimes, I swear; but he is nice and patient enough to explain them all to me. Is he treating me like I am the only girl in the world? Totally. He is even good at doing all the things around the house. Well, this is understandable after so many years of living alone. Oh, and lastly, is he a god in bed? Double check. In fact, multiple checks. But I mean, wow. How comes that he is only mine, huh? I surely must have done a lot of good deeds into my previous life if that reincarnation shit is real.

So, after I feasted on the goods he prepared, I am now sitting on the counter next to the sink and help him with wiping the dishes that he is washing. Have I ever told you about his kitchen? No? Well, like the rest of the house, it is amazing. It has everything you can think of and more. I don't think I know how to use like half the things in there. Oh, and the thing I love most is the bar-like table with high stools, placed just next to the window. I have always had a weakness for those chairs and now I get to sit on one each time I eat and I can watch the city with Dimitri next to me. What could I ask more from life?

His phone starts ringing all of a sudden. God, it is nine thirty in the evening. Do businessmen have no to free time? Aren't they allowed? And what? Next, they are going to have a midnight conference or something?

"Can you pick that up?" he asks raising his wet hands.

"Yeah, sure."

I hop off the counter and take his phone. It's an unknown number. Who is this mysterious person calling him?


	38. Chapter 38

**Hiiiii! So, it's Monday.**

 **I just wanted to tell you guys that I woke up with this M scene in my head and maybe not so many important things will happen in this chapter, you may consider that, but I just couldn't resist not to write that scene. Hope you'll enjoy it :)**

 **And dear cloclovilla, thanks a lot for pointing that out. I took care of it :)**

 **I like how much attention you guys pay to everything.**

 **Until Wednesday, have a nice week!**

 **Lots of love!**

* * *

"Hey, are you sure I should pick up?" I ask as I show him the screen. "Maybe it's one of your other lovers, huh?" I say as I raise my eyebrows playfully. I feel like teasing, even though I kind of have the feeling it might be someone who _really_ wants to know something about us at this quite late hour. I am so sick of this shit and I am going to give the caller a piece of my mind. Let's see if he would have the courage to call again.

He puts back in the water the bowl he was taking care of and throws me a hurt glance. Ups. I just tried to make a joke and without thinking, my mouth spoke shit and I touched a sore spot. Fuck! I should really think things better before I open my mouth. Maybe I should get myself some taser collar so I would get an electrical shock each time I speak shit and like that, I would get rid of this bad habit of mine.

I hurriedly go to him, trying to repair my mistake and round my arms on his torso from behind and lift myself on my toes to get my chin to rest on his shoulder. "I am sorry, comrade. It was just a _very_ bad joke. I really didn't mean it." and he forgives me with a little kiss on my cheek.

But our little moment is being spoiled by a nagging sound. That damn phone is still ringing. I hoped that the caller would give up if I don't respond soon enough, but that didn't happen. So I unglue myself from Dimitri, I slide and answer the damn call.

"Mi-" and there goes my initial official polite introduction because the interlocutor rudely stops me. Nice. Another hurried man who is getting straight to business. Let's see what he has to ask us today.

"Hey, _Belikov_." The caller says with venom in his voice. Okay, this is one frustrated journalist. I am so going to add some more frustration to that when I am going to start yelling at him. "I called to check on you again. We can't maintain this friendship if we don't talk to each other and quite some time passed since we talked last time. How is it going? Perfect like always, no?" the man says and I can feel resentment filling each of his words. Who is this? And why does his voice sounds faintly familiar to me? I don't remember talking with him lately, even though there were quite a bunch of people who called and I can't be sure. "Unlike _me_ , you are living your biiiiig fucking _perfect_ life without any worries, right?" I try to make a sound, just to get him to stop and to make a sense of what shit he is speaking, but he just doesn't stop. He is driven by some rage and spills the words into the speaker. "What now? You are probably enjoying your night with a glass of expensive wine along with your _bitch_ , right? Enjoy them while you still can, Belikov. While you still have them! And know that you are not going to get away with this! You took _everything_ away from me. And I am going to come for you. Be sure about that. I am going to make you pay! I'll take everything from you too, be sure of that. Just like you did to me. An eye for an eye, my friend. I won't stop until you will _beg_ me to. I will show you no mercy. And I'll start with that little girl of yours. Your _beloved_ Rose. She's not like the others you had before. You really care for her, right? She's your _weak_ spot. And I will hit you where it will hurt you the most. You won't be able to protect her forever. I will take her away from you somehow, just wait for it. We both will pay you back for everything you did."

I gasp at these words and my hands start to tremble. I have to lean on the counter in order to keep myself steady on my feet because my legs turned to spaghetti. It is hard for me to breathe and my heart is about to explode. What does this man mean? What has Dimitri done to him? _You took everything away from me._ He said that. What did Dimitri take from him? I don't believe Dimitri would do such a thing to no one. He's too good to do something like ruining someone's life. And what do _I_ have to do with his sick revenge plan? I would never turn against Dimitri. He said that he would take me away from Dimitri. Does he really think I would help him hurt Dimitri? Not in a million years.

"What? Don't you have anything to say now? Last time you were graphic enough. Where has all your courage disappeared? Are you already getting cold feet? Aren't you going to come after me anymore? Of course, not that you would be able to find me, but do your best my _friend_." that man continues to speak and I can't find a proper answer for him. I just simply look at Dimitri, bewildered.

Dimitri looks at me too and puts the dish he was washing back down.

"What is wrong?" he asks and I snap out of my bewilderment.

" _Say_ something Belikov!" the man yells at me and I comply with his orders on an instant.

"I, I- Who are you?"

"Oh, _fuck_ , it was that little bitch who answered!" the man says lastly and ends the call, leaving me completely clueless about his identity.

I put the phone down on the counter and look at Dimitri once more. All of a sudden, I begin to cry, fear creeping into my chest. What does that man want from us? What bad have we done?

Dimitri comes to me fast and puts his hands on my shoulders. "Hey. Rose. _Hey_. Look at me. What happened? Tell me." I can feel the water getting through my T-shirt and touching my heated skin. I give him a blank stare and piece him together as I blink, trying to get rid of the damn tears falling from my eyes.

"It- it was a man. Do…do you get threatening calls often, Dimitri?"

His face turns dark. "No." he responds way too fast for his answer to be the truth. "No, I don't. Not at all." He continues, trying to be reassuring. And I want to argue with his answer but I don't. Fine. He may be used to things like this but I am not. I am freaking out big time. "What did he say to you?"

I tell him everything that man told me, word by word and as I relieve that moment, the reality hits me as I get to make sense of the threats that man made. Of their seriousness. And they don't bring me much happiness. If he ever gets to do what he promised, my life and Dimitri's would be completely ruined. Hell, he was seconds away from saying that he will kill us both.

"I don't know who he is. Do you? And I have no connection with this man and I'll never will, I swear to God, Dimitri. I have no idea why he said that I would help him anyhow. I never would. What does he want from you? Do you know who he is? Did you really do something to him? Who is he? Tell me something." I have a little panic attack and I remain breathless.

"I know you wouldn't, Rose, I know." he cups my cheeks and looks me in the eyes; and the more I look into that brown deepness, the more I calm down and my breath steadies a little. "Everything is fine now, okay?" he says reassuringly and I nod, believing him even though the fear in my chest doesn't go away. How could it go away? Someone just threatened us. _You won't be able to protect her forever._ Those words keep on ringing in my head. Gosh, what is going to happen next? "And I have no idea who this man is." wow, so many enemies he has that he lost count? This situation doesn't bring me much happiness. How many of them are out there anyway? "But you don't have to worry, Roza. Nothing bad will happen to you, alright?" he says and takes me into his warm embrace and rocks me left and right like a little frightened child. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I'll always take care of you. No matter what." His words are reassuring enough to make me feel safe for now.

* * *

We have this little habit of not sleeping the nights and hanging out into the immense balcony until late at night, staying together and just being next to each other. At least, this is what we have done for the past the nights and I can't get enough of it.

So now it is around eleven and I am sitting in Dimitri's embrace on one of the egg-like hanging chairs on the balcony and we are lightly rocking on it, letting the fresh coldish air encircle us. I am sitting there covered by a blanket, with my body crooked into a ball and with my head on his shoulder, his hands around me, holding me tight and soothing my skin over my clothes. I need this kind of closeness right now. He makes me feel the safest in the world. Ever since I heard that man speaking, I feel like a little kid in need of his mamma on his first day of kindergarten and I can't stop my mind from going back to that fucking conversation.

What did that man mean when he said that he would _start_ with me? What is he going to do to me? How does he think that he could take me away from Dimitri? Does he plan to kidnap me? Does he want to hurt me? Or to kill me? Worse, what if he would hurt Dimitri? He is his principal target after all. And from his tone, I think he is capable of them all. His voice gives me the creeps each time I remember the menace he was speaking with. And the fact that I don't know who he is, is the worst thing ever. It could be anyone! I could just pass one day on the street and he could simply snatch me and take me to God knows where. Can't all of this just be a very, very, _very_ bad joke? Can't that man just call again and laugh and tell us that we were on camera the whole time and that we were part of some twisted TV show? Please? I promise I won't kick anybody's ass for this stupid prank. I just wish it wouldn't be true.

We suddenly move. Dimitri picks me up and he is heading to the bedroom.

"Aren't we staying out for a little more? I like it there." The cold air was doing well to my solicited brain.

"No. I am taking you to bed. Maybe if you'll sleep, you won't think about that anymore and worry for nothing." Well, it's not really nothing, isn't it?

"But I wasn't-"

"Roza, I called you three times and you didn't respond. I know what is going on inside your head." nope, I don't think you do comrade; my mind is not such a great place to be into right now.

I walk my fingers across his neck. "How can you be so calm?"

He stops moving just next to the bed and kisses my forehead. "Do you trust me?" I nod. I trust him more than anything. "Then you shouldn't worry. I will take care of things."

He lays me in bed and the mattress sinks down as he climbs his side of the bed. He lays next to me and I wrap myself around him. He starts caressing my hair.

"Don't worry anymore, okay? I am going to take care of everything. We'll be fine, milaya."

 **DPOV begins**

I keep her into my embrace until her breathing steadies. She finally fell asleep. I hate seeing her like this. She shouldn't have a single worry in the world. But now she heard Victor's threats and she wouldn't stop concerning about this. Why did I let her answer that anonymous call in the first place? I should have guessed that it could be him calling again. But again, it could have been anyone else who called. Instead, it was him. And I made her answer.

I know it was wrong, but I couldn't bring myself to tell her who the caller was. Remembering him, it would have produced further damage to her. Plus, I didn't think that he would actually call again, not after the talk I had with him the first time he called and tried to threaten me. In fact, I thought that he would have already learned his lesson to keep his distance from us the first time I ''talked'' with him in Russia and rewarded him for treating Rose the way he did with I hope at least two broken ribs. But this man just doesn't want to listen. Well, when I am going to find him, I am surely going to give him a refresher. I am boiling with anger.

Rose changes her position and turns to the other side snuggling to her pillow and when I am sure that she won't wake up from my movement, I get out of the bed and head out the balcony, taking my phone with me. I make the call I do every day or two.

"Alto speaking."

"Did you find anything?"

"No, Dimitri. Nothing." He responds discouraged. The frustration in me only grows at his words.

 _"How_?" I ask way too irritated. I am a second away from breaking something around here. "You can't seem to find any of them, but they sure as hell can find me. Victor called me again today! On my _new_ number. And Rose responded to him this time. Where are they hiding? Why can't you find them?"

"I'm sorry, but since they entered the States last week, I can't find any trace of them. Not after Frank…." He wants to finish that sentence but doesn't. Being reminded of that only makes my blood boil some more. I hate incompetent people who can't do their job properly. How hard can it be to follow a woman? It seems that for some people it is impossible. "It seems that they simply disappeared from the face of the earth." He continues. Oh, I will find a way to make that come true. They both are getting way too annoying now.

"What about Tasha's workplace? Her friends? How did that go?" I swear that this is like my last hope to find any of them.

"No, still nothing. She told them that she needed some free time at the same time you left to Russia with business and ever since they haven't heard a thing from her. Her friends told us that too." Just perfect. Now I have nothing left.

"Then _do_ something! Anything! Find them already! How hard can it be?! They are just two normal people for fuck's sake! How the hell did they manage to disappear all of a sudden?" I am just very angry and I am taking it out on Stan. "I'm sorry. I am just-" I exhale hard, trying to calm myself. "Just call me when you find something. Anything that might help." There must be something, no matter how little that could help me. They can't be that good at hiding. Here must be something that slipped their attention and I will find it.

I end the call and go back to our bedroom. Before getting in bed, I take a look at Rose. She looks so peaceful now, her features relaxed, compared to all that earlier tension on her face. I want her always to be like this, carefree. As I get back to bed, she turns my way and snuggles at my chest, rounding her arms on me and burying her head into the crook of my neck. I make soothing movements on her back and she lets out a sweet sleepy growl that warms my heart.

I'll keep up to my promise, Rose. No one will hurt you. Not as long as I am here. I would do everything not to lose you.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

 **Some weeks later**

We arrived early. We have twenty minutes until the business dinner begins. This is plenty of time on our hands and we would still not be late. And we are surely going to make the best of the time we have, just like we always do.

For the last couple of days, we are practically like bunnies. It's like something got into the air all of a sudden and made its effect on us. We simply can't get our hands off each other. Dimitri parked his car into the underground parking lot of the restaurant and we are now kissing and we walk our hands all over each other and I am grinding on him, trying to get things further fast. Thank God that the car has tinted windows. Not that there is anyone who could see us down here, but I appreciate the extra coverage. I have never done it into a car and this is so exciting, with all this fear of actually getting caught.

Well, I still haven't got to do it into a car. But we were so fucking close!

He already has his pants unzipped and he is reaching under my dress for my panties, but his damn phone rings. Like please, give this man a break! Ten minutes. Give him these ten fucking minutes! In the last days, his phone is constantly ringing and by default mine too. All I want is to throw them out the window. He has not a single second to chill the fuck out lately. And he is so tired all the time.

We stop and after some seconds in which he catches his breath, he answers. There is a man he is speaking with, but I can only hear this side of the line.

"Belikov" he answers, but his attention is still on me; he passes his hand through my hair and places a little kiss on my neck as I impatiently wait for him to finish and play with the edges of his belt.

 _"What_?" he stops and his hand falls on his lap. Aw, but I liked what he was doing.

"You are kidding me, right?"

"Now?" he asks and when he gets the answer, he rolls his eyes. That's new. He doesn't do this on a usual day. This call must have annoyed him big time. And my state of spirit changes as fast as his as I realize that I might not be going to get some soon.

"Fine."

'I'll be there."

 _"Yeah_ , I just parked the car."

"Give me three minutes."

"God, I am on my way." he says ending the call and exhales hard.

"Is there something wrong?"

"We have to go up." I knew it!

I scowl. "But we were-"

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Rose, but the men arrived even earlier than expected and they have already been waiting for us for twenty minutes. We have to go up now or they won't be that pleased to wait for longer."

I don't like this thing at all. I pout, get off him and out of the car and arrange myself. He gets out of the car too and after he looks perfect again, he kisses my forehead and tells me smiling: "We can finish _that_ later." Yeah, comrade. But I want to finish it now.

We get inside and there they are, the fuckers who spoilt my fun. We greet each other and some of them even kiss my hand like the perfect gentlemen they are. Kiss all the way you want until you reach my ass. I am not forgiving you for letting me aroused and unfinished. I hope that your ladies suddenly get a headache next time you feel horny you bastards. Really now. Who the fuck arrives forty minutes early on a meeting and has the cheek to act rudely when they have to wait? Let me tell you. These people!

We get to our fancy round table and sit. There is a total of seven persons without me at the table, and I can only suffer one of them right now.

The waiter brings us wine and then the first course.

The men begin to speak heatedly and I simply listen to some parts of their conversation. I am here more for decor. I only came to accompany Dimitri and hop in if he would ever need the help. At some point, I lose track of the conversation completely and I turn my attention completely to my man. He is so tense and serious. He is not smiling at all. I don't like seeing him so stressed. And this is the only thing I get from him in the last couple of days. Tired faces. Deep sighs. Long hours spent alone as he is still at work. These men are completely draining him with a new project. And there is a constant thing that is bothering him very much, but I can't make him tell me what it is. He keeps on telling me that it is something work-related, but I get the vibes that it's not in fact. His work never seemed to get to him so much as this thing does.

But with all that, he hasn't lost his passion. He is still speaking like this thing happening right now is the most important thing in the whole world in this moment. I love this about him. Especially when _I_ am the one he is passionate about.

* * *

We are about to get the last course and I don't know where this thought comes from but I can't help myself. It's too inciting not to try it. I am way too aroused this evening and I can't wait for this dinner to be over. Without anyone noticing, thank God that the table has a long cloth, I take off my left shoe and wiggle my fingers in the air, preparing them for what I am going to do next.

At least I have some luck tonight, as we are sitting at the table into a position that allows me to reach my foot towards Dimitri's without much trouble.

I start low and find his foot. When I touch his ankle, his glance comes over me and I smile slightly. No one noticed anything yet and I get a little more adventurous. I lift my foot and trace some lines up and down his calf. He looks at me again and subtly bites his lip. I stop for some time to make sure no one bats an eye.

Then, I turn myself a little in my chair so that I would get more access. No one questions my move. Perfect. I raise my foot one more time and trace a line on his calf, but I don't stop there this time. I get further and touch his inner thigh. His face changes a little as I move my toes on him. He gulps. But to my surprise, he doesn't pull back. My eyes get shiny when he changes his position too, pulling the chair closer to the table, leaning forward and spreading his legs a little more, giving me some more space to explore. Good, comrade; very good.

My foot ascends again and now I can prop my foot on his chair. I spend some seconds tracing little lines on his left inner thigh, slowly getting closer to the area of most interest. As I am reaching it, he starts talking with a little difficulty, taking some time to gulp and sometimes to drink some water. It's fun to see him trying to keep a hold of himself. He's good. But I am not going to stop here. I want to see how far I can take it until he can't take it anymore. I move my foot forward and reach him and his eyes widen in surprise. Oh, he is hard already, I can perfectly feel him. A smug smile appears on my face and I have to pretend to yawn or scratch my nose in order not to be observed. They would think I am crazy for smiling by myself.

I move my toes up and down, up and down as some man is speaking, giving Dimitri the time to enjoy this. His palm that is resting on the table clenches into a fist and he takes in a deep breath, looking my way. Would it be wrong if he would take me here on the table now? Yeah, maybe. I repeat the movement pressing harder on his crotch and his eyes widen. Okay, I don't know about him, but _I_ can't take this anymore. I take my foot down and he frowns. Well, sorry to disappoint you, comrade. But wait for what's coming next, I'm sure you will like it better.

I rise and excuse myself. After I get up, before going to the bathroom, I lean over and whisper in Dimitri's ear: "Meet me in ten at the lady's room. Last stall. Knock two times twice." and I go on my way, my intestines already twirling with anticipation.

I enter the fancy bathroom and take a look at my phone. 21:47. Okay, I can wait for ten minutes, no biggie. I already waited a couple of hours. I fix my make up a little, wash my hands and pass my hands through my hair, trying to make it stay in one place, without any success. It's 21:51. I lean over the sink and wait. The bathroom is almost empty, except one stall that someone who just entered occupies. I enter mine, occupying it before someone else does and wait some more. This stall has a perfect concrete wall we can lean on and the side wooden walls are floor to ceiling long, so no one would see that there are two persons inside instead of one. 21:54. The woman exits. One minute later, the bathroom door opens again. I hear some steps that stop in front of my stall. One double knock. The second one. He came a little earlier. Well, someone is as impatient as I am. I open my door and drag him in.

"What did you tell them?"

"That you might be sick and I am coming to check on you. You know, we are about to finis-"

I place my hand on his mouth to stop him. "Enough talking. We don't have much time. And I want you to do me. _Now_.' I say as my hands are unbuckling his belt.

As he is getting rid of his pants and exposes himself, I lift my dress and take off my underpants.

He looks at me and growls, full of desire. "Good God, Roza." Then rounds his palm on my ass and drags me closer to him and kisses me.

Then, we move fast. He picks me up and pins me to the wall. Yeah, I choose this stall just fine. Leaning over the stalls would have made too much noise.

He slips inside me and starts moving into a slow pace as his left hand gets a hold of mine and pins it to the wall, our fingers entangled. I clench my other palm into his hair and lean my head back. I can never get tired of this sensation of fullness. His mouth finds mine and as he is thrusting me, I moan lightly in his mouth while we kiss.

Someone enters the bathroom. Fuck that shit. We don't stop. I just need to keep quiet until this woman leaves. I will give my best, I promise.

Dimitri's hand now goes to my breast and massages it over my dress. Thank God I didn't need any bra with this dress. I can only feel better his hungry touches. And I really _try_ to keep myself as quiet as I can. On a usual day, I would already be purring his name but today I don't. Just get out fast, whoever you are. One of my hands is helping me steady myself by his shoulder and the other is playing with his hair as his mouth is busy with mine and I am happy that this thing is attenuating the sounds that I can't hold in me. He is moving faster now and I am breathing too heavily, just like I have been running for the past ten minutes. Gosh, the things this man does to me.

The woman does her thing and is now washing her hands. Thank God that she will be leaving soon. I can't hold myself quiet for longer. I never can. But her steps stop as she was heading towards the exit. Oh, maybe she forgot to check her make up or to take a selfie. Just do it fast please. And then go!

"Um, Miss? Are you alright?" oh fuck! This is an old lady speaking. Let's just hope she has a bad hearing.

Dimitri moves his kisses down on my neck, giving me the chance to speak and we need to slow things up a little, this thing only getting to tease the shit out of me. I needed him to go faster.

"Um, yeah, yeah, I, I am, fine." I say between hard breaths.

"What happened? Why are you panting so hard? Are you sick or something?" Oh, for the love of God just let me be! I appreciate your concern but now it's so not the moment.

Dimitri stops and looks at me. "Don't you _fucking_ stop." I whisper to him and after he raises his eyebrow playfully, he goes back to doing pleasurable things to my body. How come _he_ is so fucking silent and I am not?

"Did you say something? I couldn't really hear you, dear. You know, when you get to some age…" she starts but doesn't continue, probably getting to think about the good old days when her hearing wasn't that defectuous.

"Um, I said that, I, I, couldn't stop." oh gosh, I am going to come soon. "I, I" mmm God, I tilt my head backward and stop for a second to enjoy what is happening, the bulge in my lower abdomen being ready to pop. "ran, here. I had an emergency." is the only excuse I find. It doesn't make sense at all, but my brain is clouded. Please go!

"Oh, fine. I'm glad that you are fine. Have a nice night then."

"Th-a-anks!" I say as the lady exits and I begin to moan slowly again. I can't help myself. Thank God we are alone again.

"Harder." I say to Dimitri. What can I say? This girl likes it rough. He does as he is asked to and picks up the pace again. I feel my back sliding up and down on the wall as he is pushing himself deeper and deeper inside of me. And when I feel I am ready to explode, I rush him to stop as some logic comes into my clouded mind.

He looks at me, knits his brows and slows down the pace. "Why?"

"I am going to come soon."

"So? What's wrong about that?" he asks smiling.

I sigh as he again reaches a good point in me. "I am going to get loud. And people might hear me."

He chuckles. "That's nothing that you can't handle Roza." And starts moving fast again, his palms gripping my thighs and he's pushing me into the wall harder than before. "Let me please you completely if we made it all the way here." He says panting.

The adrenaline kicked in too from my little scare that I would be caught by that old woman and I don't need much to reach my peak and come. I am gripping Dimitri's back of the shirt with one hand while with the other I punch the wall behind me, into a surrendering movement as my whole body is twisting in pleasure. My mouth is buried into his shoulder and I dig my teeth into it so that I would muffle my screams. This man is simply a god. My god.

When we are both done, he puts me down and a satisfied smile fills my face. This was so exciting. Forget the car. This was the good stuff. All this fear of getting caught only amplified everything and my heart is beating like crazy.

We catch our breaths and arrange ourselves. I put his tie in place and he looks just like when he entered. Except for one thing. Now he can't stop smiling. Well, at least this helped him destress a little.

"You ran here?" he asks while he puts his coat back on (hell, when did that thing come off? From how fast we moved, I don't remember) and raises an eyebrow and I must keep myself from throwing myself on him again. Why is he ten times hotter when he does that?

"Hey, it's not bullshit if she bought it, right?" I say proud of myself and he chuckles in response.

The whole thing lasted some more minutes than we initially predicted and those bastards might start thinking something is wrong by now, so we rush out of the bathroom. As we get out the door, some woman wants to enter and throws a hard glance in our direction. Meh, I don't really care about anything right now. Let her stare as much as she wants. Go ahead and tell her friends. I don't give a single fuck and neither does Dimitri. I had a very good time in there and her glances won't affect me.

On the hallway, I ask him for his car keys and he frowns.

"Why? Aren't you coming back to the table?"

"Nah. Go tell those men that I got sick and you called me a cab and sat with me until it arrived. That's why you were missing for so long. I'll wait for you in the car. You were saying that you were close enough to finish anyway." He smiles, gives me the keys and kisses me one more time before we go different ways. Yup, we are perfect accomplices in crime.

* * *

I get out of the restaurant and cold air pricks on my heated skin. Well, too bad I didn't have the chance to get my coat from my chair when I went to the bathroom. Now it is too late for me to go back so I head to the underground parking lot as fast as my heels allow me to. I can't wait to get inside the car where it's nice and warm.

Where did he park the car? Was it E area or F? I guess it was F. But I am going in that direction anyway. I'll check both areas if I have to. I think I was way too pissed off to pay much attention to that thing.

I pass the B area and see a board that shows the time and date. It's 22:12. And it's the 15th of the month. I stop right there and do the math. The 15th? Like, already? Wow, the time really passes fast when you feel good. I can't believe that Dimitri and I are dating for almost a month now. I mean, that week with him in Russia passed so slowly and now a month has passed and I can't tell when? Hell, Einstein was right with his relativity thing.

As I go further, a silly smile appears on my face. Well, Dimitri won't have to bother with any present, that is for sure. What we did earlier overtops anything he could get me.

I reach the E zone. Ah, fuck it. I have time to look around here too, just to be sure. It takes me two minutes not to find the car. So I was right. It was the F area after all.

But before I get there, someone appears in front of me out of nowhere, getting out from one of the wide concrete pillars and blocks my way. Without having any time to react, I bump into him/her. In a second I realize it is a woman. And she smells so sweet that my nose is overwhelmed. I could pick this smell from a thousand perfumes, that much I hate it. What the fuck is Tasha doing here?


	39. Chapter 39

**Helloooo!**

 **Dear Guest, I was mainly trying to indicate the area, but your observation is duly noted**

 **And Dimitri'sGoddess, Abe will eventually appear, but I have some other things that I want to happen first :) Lots of things because I am planning for his appearance to be a funny one. I just hope I'll manage to pull that off**

 **Until then, enjoy**

 **Lots of love!**

* * *

"Why are you so happy?" she says after the impact and takes a step back, crossing her arms and looking at me like she always does, disgust filling her expression. I raise my head some more and look exactly into the two light gems that are her eyes. "Hi, Rose. Did you miss me?" and she gives me one of her twisted smiles. And only when I began to outgrow her presence, here she is again. Gosh, she is so hard to get rid of.

I take a step back myself, wanting to put some more distance between us and cross my arms over my chest too, as a mindless defensive gesture, mimicking her body posture. I don't know about her, but my whole body is getting tensed up at her sight. I always get like this when she's around.

"No. Not at all really." I respond being already snarly. I am so not in the mood to see her face now. My evening was too good for her to come and spoil it.

"Oh, come on. But we were _such_ good friends." She says full of sarcasm. What? Did she come here to remember the good old days when I wanted to smash her face every single second?

"Yeah, in my darkest nightmares." I would never consider someone like her my friend. She would just stab you in the back at any given chance if there is something she could get out of it.

"Oh, Rose. You are so offensive. Shouldn't I be the one to do that?" and why would that be, miss crazy pants?

"What do you want now Tasha?"

Her lips curl in disgust. "First, I would like my life back."

"And how can I help you with that?"

"You could just die." She comes with the perfect solution.

"Yeah, of course. Anything for you." and I want to leave because I don't have time for her, but she stops me. And she doesn't say anything. "What now? Did you bring another man to grope my ass? Where is he? Is he hiding somewhere around? Should we wait for him? Is he older than the other one?"

She laughs. "Oh, so you didn't appreciate my friend. I thought you would like his attention." Yeah, his attention is all I ever wished in my life. She just knows my deepest, dirtiest secrets.

"No. Not at all. What was your plan? Make me die of embarrassment or something? I am pretty capable of planting a good fist into someone's jaw, you know? I can take care of my honor."

Her laughter stops me from continuing. " _You_? Having any honor?" she snickers. "Ha, you are so funny! You are nothing more than a _horny bitch_ looking for a sugar daddy. Come on, be honest now. If you didn't know that Dimitri broke up with me, wouldn't you have been okay with that man hitting on you? You would have liked it."

"Yeah, of course, I would have loved it! What do you think? That I like all libidinous men who hit on me? Sorry to disappoint you, but you are fucking stupid to think that. And what did you think on that day? That some pinches on my ass would make me do what?"

"Well, that was not what I intended to happen, but that doesn't matter anymore. The past is the past. It was all just a wrong timing. There were supposed to be a lot more people around when he did that. I wanted _everybody_ to know who you really are. Nothing more than a whore looking for money." I fist my palms and keep myself steady. _Don't punch her yet, Rose._ I am really curious about what she has to say about that night. "You'll never be anything else Rose and you know it. I wanted Dimitri to see who you really are." Wow! I am simply amazed. Her disillusions are way worse than I thought.

"Okay, let's say that all this shit actually make some sense even though it doesn't, like, at all, but…"

She puffs, just like I would be too small minded to understand what her master plan was. But I am so not the one who has no sense of the reality here. "My plan was _another_ ," she explains to me once more. What? Did she want that man to rape me or something? Not that I don't see her capable of pulling some shit like this. "But that man gave up too easily when he saw Dimitri hovering around you like that. I didn't think he could be so possessive. With me, he surely wasn't." she says seemingly upset about this and takes a look around the parking lot.

"Okay, fine. Whatever you say. But what was your problem back then? I wasn't with Dimitri when you put your little plan into application and hell, I wasn't even trying anything with him and you so _know_ that shit! I told you so many times!" And I think everybody around knew I didn't want to have anything to do with him. I made it as clear and obvious as possible as I could. But for her, things weren't that clear it seems. And there must be something else, I can feel it. "What was your real reason? What wrong have I done to you that you did that thing to me?" besides yelling at her in that room full of people. But she deserved it and I am not going to feel bad about it. God, she deserved so much more back then and if she doesn't stop this shit soon, I might kick her ass.

"Nope. It's just that. You took him away from me."

"Oh, give me a break. It's so not my fault that your relationship didn't work out, so stop blaming me for your fucking mistakes Tasha."

" _My_ mistakes? My only mistake is that I allowed a whore like you to work in that office."

Okay, you know what? I am not going to be the rational, nice guy anymore. I get so close to her that we are now breathing the same air but that bitch doesn't pull back. "Tasha, you'll better watch your _fucking_ words. I already let it pass twice today and I have told you that I won't allow you to speak like that to me ever again. So be very careful with your next words." I am way too tensed up and a second away from snapping.

"Yeah? And what could you do to stop me from calling you like that? I am just stating the truth."

I push my palms into her chest and she unbalances a little and takes a step back to regain her steadiness. "Who the hell do you think you are?!"

"In this moment?" she throws me a superior look. "Your worst nightmare." She emphasizes the last word for some effect.

"Oh, wow. I am soooo scared right now. And why is that? What have I done to you?" look everybody; my mind is at peace. I didn't do any wrong to her.

"You _took_ Dimitri away from me!"

"Did I? How?!"

"Of course you did! You and your short dresses and the deep cleavages and-"

"Um, I beg your _pardon_? Who was the one who leaned over my desk the first time she saw me and told me, um, let me get this right: You cannot destroy my boyfriend's image with your thrift shop clothes. You need to lift your standards if you want to keep on working here. You don't live in Texas or any other city you came from anymore. You live in the big city and you have an important job now. Act like it. Do you know who said that? _You_! It was you! And now you blame _me_ for that?"

"Yeah! There was nothing wrong with wearing them, but making a parade in front of him?"

"Oh, so what should I have done then? I am his fucking secretary! How was I supposed to do my job if not by walking around him?"

"Don't play the saint. You wanted to fuck him and put your hands on him from the first second you saw him." well, she might be right with the sex part, but this is not the point. I didn't want to _put my hands on him_. I wished he would love me. That is different. And he does love me. "And I am so sure that those panties were yours! The way you snapped at me, it was so obvious."

"Fine! They were mine, okay? So what? He wasn't with you then. So I didn't do anything wrong. And I didn't snap at you because of that. I couldn't care less. You were treating me like shit and I had to do something. I had enough of you, Tasha!"

"We were just getting a break!" oh, God, will she let go of that already?

"Yeah, _fine_! You are a fucking saint and I am the bad guy here. Keep on believing that if it makes you sleep better at night, Tasha." And I don't want to deal with her craziness anymore. I get moving but her words stop me this time because she yells after me.

"He _loves_ me! I don't know what you did to him, but he is not the same."

I turn my attention to her. "Yeah? I am sorry to inform you, but he is with _me_ now. And it would be super weird for him to still love you, don't you think? It wouldn't make any sense."

"You took him away from me! You changed him!"

"And what did I really do? I didn't even want to be near him until some time ago. Please, illuminate me! Are you some kind of psychic and know everything?"

"You and your moralistic speech! After your little dramatic exit, he took me outside and apologized to me. He never did _that_. And he told me that I deserved someone better!" she laughs _"Someone_ _better_! I didn't want anyone except him!" wow, she really loves him, into her own weird way, but still; maybe this is why she was putting up with all of the things he did to her; man, maybe she doesn't deserve it, but I feel bad for her now. "Everything was fine between us until _you_ came around! And then, just a few words from you and he left me for goods!" well, this is so not true; from what I know, he left her some time before my outburst, but who am I to argue this crazy woman? It's not like she would listen to me anyway.

And I am way too tired to argue with her. I just want to go home now. I soften my voice, trying to make amends with her. "Look, Tasha. I didn't do things on purpose. Things just happened this way, okay? And I am sorry if you are still hurting but you-"

"I don't need your pity!" she interrupts me, her voice full of venom. "And you will _pay_ for this. You'll see. I won't let this thing unfinished. And we will hit you when you at least expect it. Be afraid of us, Rose. And watch your back. Your payback is coming." Okay. So being nice doesn't work with her either. I am not going to try it twice.

"Yeah, go ahead and do that, _please_. I tried to give you some credit, but you are so fucking nuts! You just don't want to understand that nobody is guilty of anything! Shit just happened. And I am getting tired of your stupid games. What do you want to do next? Come on. Make me be afraid." She pauses for a second, not knowing how to attack me back. Ha! I win again. "No? Nothing? Get yourself a life for the love of God, Tasha. Stop this shit and _move on,_ please. It will do you better than holding this imaginary grudge."

But she just changes the subject. "Oh, or maybe he will do to you the same he did to me. He always cheats, it's who he is. He likes playing around. Will you be able to deal with that?" I don't respond, but I don't need to because my expression is enough of an answer. The truth is that I couldn't deal with that shit if it would happen. She smiles superior. "At least you will _know_ how it is to be in my position and watch a little bitch taking him away from you. I'd _love_ to watch him doing that to you. And he will sooner or later. Because he always does, honey. And then, after he has his fun with you and then with someone else maybe, he will get back to _me_. Because no matter what you do, no matter what anyone does, he _always_ comes back to _me_. He always does, because he _loves_ _me_ and only _me_." she said lastly, turns her back at me and hears further away from me.

"Yeah! Keep on waiting for that to happen!" I yell after her. I won't let her ruin my trust in Dimitri.

"I will. It's not the first time shit like this happens, Rose. I am used to how he functions." I hear her response faintly.

And as she leaves, the words she just said have the time to sink in. Good God, what is wrong with her? Does she really mean the things she just said? What is she planning to do to me? Is she going to actually _do_ something? She just threw some threats my way. But it's not like she would be capable of doing much, right? She doesn't have that much power. And I can deal with some more jackasses just fine if she wants to try me. But what if she is hurting so much that this threatening thing is the only way to ventilate? And maybe like this, she hopes that she would drive me away from Dimitri. Hell, she didn't seem _that_ attached to Dimitri before. I was getting the feeling that for her, he was nothing more than a source of existence. And maybe she is upset because I supposedly took that away from her. But one thing is sure. She is crazy as fuck.

* * *

I eventually get to the car, and I try to get the keys out of my purse but I hear some sounds coming from behind. Paranoia from earlier fills my brain and my heart begins to beat faster. Is this Tasha? No, this can't be. She just left. _But what if she came back?_

Ugh, what do I do? Should I look behind? _No, no, just get into the car. Fast._ Maybe they are not here to hurt me. Yeah, there is just someone passing by, going to their car, I try to calm myself.

But I can't find those fucking keys! The steps are getting closer, I can hear them. Where the fuck did I put them? Ah! Finally! I get them out of the purse but my hands are trembling and I drop them. _Goddamnit, Rose, how fucking stupid are you?_ I freeze in place for a second. Please, please don't come my way. But it is already too late. The steps have stopped just behind me and someone places a hand on my shoulder. I scream in shock.

"Rose, what's wrong?" Dimitri says and turns me around. A single look into his warm eyes is enough to calm me.

I laugh a little. "Nothing, you just scared me." Wow, Tasha just managed to make me lose it for a second.

He smiles lightly and touches my cheek with the outside of his fingers. "Why weren't you in the car?" well, I was having a little chat with your psycho ex.

"Oh, I, I got bored and got out to move my legs a little." I know I am lying to him, but I don't think I am going to mention my encounter with Tasha to him, at least not for now. I want to be sure of this thing before I would burden him with it. He already has too many things on his mind and she isn't that important right now.

We get into the car after I retrieve the keys from where I dropped them. I prop my head to the window and look out as we head home. And dark thoughts get in my mind again. _What if she is right? Wouldn't he get bored of you? What if you are not going to be enough for him?_ _I mean, he had so many women before. Why would he stop at you, right?_ No! This won't happen. Dimitri is not like that anymore. Shut the fuck up, brain! Stop listening to everything that bitch said. _So, are not you really not going to end up like Tasha?_ No, of course not! _Isn't he going to go back to her?_ No, he will definitely not. And you know why? Because he loves me. And I trust it with every bit of my heart. _He always does, she said_. Well, she is just speaking shit. He is not the same.

I am still having a mental battle with myself when someone takes my hand and our entangled fingers rest then on my thigh. It's Dimitri. I turn my head in his direction and watch him. He turns his head for a second too, and the way he looks at me tells me that I am right. He loves me and Tasha won't ever be able to change that.

"Roza, what's wrong? You seem off."

"Huh? Nothing. I am just tired."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." I respond and squeeze on his hand reassuringly. "It's nothing."

* * *

We get home and I go to take a bath. I need to relax, at least physically if not mentally because my mind is still wandering to bad places and I am feeling like shit. I sit into the water for some time, simply looking at the white ceiling, encircled by all that hot water. It is such a freeing sensation, to feel that you are floating. Sitting there, it feels like nothing is complicated anymore. I wonder what it would be like if I'd be now drifting away into an ocean, holding Dimitri's hand. Where would we get? I hope that as far away as possible from this place.

Some time later, the door opens and Dimitri comes in. He undresses and I make some space in the bathtub for him to get in. He sits down and takes me into his embrace. I place myself on him so that my left ear is glued to his chest. I never get tired of the sound of his heartbeat. And when I am like this, I almost feel my heart beating in sync with his and all I can be is calm. Everything is alright when he's around. He runs his fingers up and down on my back as I pass mines across his upper arm. And we don't speak, the silence filling the spaces around us. Until he breaks the silence.

"Milaya, tell me what's wrong." He's not that stupid. He can always tell when there's something weird about me.

I don't respond, I just sigh deeply. I don't know what to say. What is really wrong? What is _really_ bothering me? I can't pinpoint it exactly. But there sure is something. Something that I wish it wouldn't exist.

Dimitri passes his hand through my wet hair, getting it off my forehead and kisses that area. "Roza, talk with me."

I have no idea why, but I begin to cry, the tears silently falling down my cheeks. That something inside me gets to the surface and crying is the only way I can let it out. What do I do if Tasha is right? I can't be like her.

"Do you still-" no, not this. "Did-did you love Tasha?" And the second the question leaves my mouth, I plant my face into his chest. I can't look him in the eyes. Why would I even ask something like this?

"Is this what's bothering you?" he asks calmly, even though I didn't know if my question was uncomfortable for him. But I still don't get the courage to look at him. Instead, he cups my cheeks and lifts my head. "Rose? Hey, don't cry." he says as he wipes my tears away. "Look at me." I lift my glance and meet his warm eyes. He sighs lightly, giving me a little sad smile. "Yes. I guess that I loved Tasha. Somehow, in a way I didn't come to understand. But that happened a couple of years ago and between us, things went bad relatively fast. I was still with her because I was _used_ to being with her. I don't have any feelings for that woman now Rose. I didn't have for a long time now." And his words bring reassurance to me. Yeah, Tasha is delirious. But I still want to hear more. I need to hear something, I don't know what, but I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something more. He sighs once more and caresses my cheek. "Look. I know I have a history. I am not proud of that now and I am sorry. I have done things I wish I could take back, but I can't. But believe me when I say that you are my one and only, Roza. I love _you_. Do you understand? _You, and only you_." he is looking at me with apologetic eyes. And I believe him. How couldn't I? His words seem so true and spoken from the heart and I trust him with all my heart. I nod and encircle him with my arms, pulling him closer and I rest my head into the crook of his neck.

"I love you too, Dimitri." I whisper into his ear and he kisses the side of my neck.

How can I even think all these bad things about him when he is so good and loving with me? I need to stop letting Tasha mess with my brain. This was the last time she played with me.

* * *

 **Three days later**

I got ready for bed and head for the bedroom. Dimitri is already laying on his belly, with his face turned to my side of the bed. I get there and sit on the edge of the bed, watching him. He has already fallen asleep, being probably exhausted, just like yesterday. We don't really get to spend much time together these days, except the time we are at the office or in the few early mornings when we wake up earlier and lay in bed embraced until the alarm goes off. But I can't complain. It could be worse. At least I am having him close for most of the time.

But he has been staying late at work for the last week and he insists for me to go home after six and after we had a little argument about this, I did things his way. He doesn't need me to stress him more than he is. He even works the weekends. And when he gets home, around nine or ten, he is exhausted. Hell, I would surely be if I would work fifteen or sixteen hours a day. The thing is that things around the office aren't really pink right now as someone important decided one day to just leave without any notice and left a little disaster behind him. And of course, Dimitri has to deal up with all that fucking mess. He told me that this won't last for long and that I shouldn't worry because it's not the first time he deals with that. But I _do_ worry because this whole thing is affecting him. He is always tired and sometimes grumpy, but I don't take it personally. And he is more stressed than ever. It's like there is one thing that is consuming him, and it bothers me so much that I can't do anything much to make it better.

I prop my chin in my palms and take a look at him dreamily. The constant frown on his face has disappeared and he looks so sweet now. His earthy hair is spread across the white pillow, his mouth is a bit open and it is slightly pouted from the position he has. He has no shirt on and his ribcage lifts and sinks in a steady rhythm. I grab one end of the blanket and cover him with it. Before getting back to my spot I plant a little kiss on his cheek and he lets out a little sleepy growl, acknowledging my presence.

His right hand is resting on my pillow and, as I lay down, I take his hand into mine. He gently squeezes my hand and I get even closer to him, getting our bodies to touch.

"Hey." He says sleepily, opening his eyes lightly to see me and gives me a little lazy smile, then rounds his arm on me, pulling me closer to his chest. I take one more look at him before closing my eyes. Gosh, I love him so much.

* * *

My sleep is particularly uneasy this night. I wake up and fall asleep three times before I can't fall asleep anymore. I change my position over and over again but it is useless. I even count some imaginary sheep, but it comes out as unsuccessful. Maybe if I stay still it would be easier. And like this, I won't wake Dimitri up from all my twisting and turning around. He needs the sleep.

It's about two in the morning and the city is finally silent. I look at the white ceiling and wait for Sandman to come to visit me again. As I do that, my thoughts wander towards Tasha. I do that very often these days. I remember every word she said to me that night and from time to time, her little mean speech plays in my head. But what doesn't make sense to me at all is why she said that I should be afraid of ''us''. Who is this us? Why not only her? Is there someone else who is going to help her?

Then, into the clarity brought by the night, it hits me. Of course that there is someone else! Everything makes sense now. Even that weird phone call that Dimitri got and the familiar voice. _It's the both of them!_ How could I not realize this earlier? God, the one who called is that man from Russia that Adrian fired. That fucker wasn't talking about me on the phone that day. He must have been referring to Tasha. And I am sure that Tasha was talking about him too the other day. How it took me so much to realize it?

They have united their forces it seems. What can I say? They make the perfect villain team. But what do they plan to do now? And why the hell are Dimitri and I guilty for their miserable lives? Yeah, he broke up with Tasha, supposedly because of me as she previously stated, and I understand that she is hurting, but what can she do about that besides moving on? Lots of relationships end badly. That's life. And that fucker is responsible for his own situation. He accepted to play Tasha's game and did all those nasty things to me. _He_ got himself fired. If he is looking for the culprit, he should take a good look in the mirror.

I shift my position again and lay on my side, getting to face Dimitri and I pass my fingers along his cheek. Should I tell him about this? I don't want him to worry some more. He is already stressed enough these days. This thing will only distract him. Plus, quite some time passed since that guy called and nothing happened. And Tasha only made her intention known a few days ago, but she didn't do anything either. They are all just talk and no action; they seem that kind of persons. And what are they really going to do anyway? Threaten us some more in the hopes that they would scare us somehow? Let them fucking try. Grope me some more? I can take it. I am a big girl and I can deal with Tasha's stupidity by myself, I don't need to bother Dimitri with this.

Yeah, I won't tell him about this. They don't really pose any threat to us. They just growl but don't bite. They will get over this eventually and will leave us the fuck alone to leave in peace.

But God, I am so pissed off right now and I surely can't fall asleep any time soon as all kind of ways to murder in cold blood those two bastards keep on coming to my mind. I get out of the bed and out of the bedroom carefully not to wake Dimitri up. I go to the kitchen and make myself a chamomile tea, maybe it will help. And then I go out on the balcony and lay into one of the yellow egg-like comfy chairs. It is so weird not to hear all the usual buzz of the town. Just a solitary car passing through the dark streets disturbs the silence from time to time.

I sit there for a little while, watching the stars and sipping on my tea. Then the balcony's door slides and Dimitri gets out on the balcony too. Shit. There goes my sneakiness. I too fucked his sleep.

''Why are you up? Did I wake you when I got out?''

He yawns lightly as he closes the sliding door behind him and comes my way. ''No. I just woke up and I couldn't find you in bed.'' He crouches in front of me and looks at my mug as he puts his hands over mine. ''Can't you sleep, huh?''

I lean over and prop my forehead on his. ''Yeah. Something like that.''

''Wanna go for a walk then?''

''No. We should get back to bed. You must be tired. Let's go back in.''

And I want to do as I said, but he doesn't listen. So we go to the bedroom and get ready for a walk instead of getting back to sleep.

''Put on something warm. Do you have any fleece pullovers?'' he asks as he strips down his pyjama pants.

''No, I don't like them.'' I was thinking about a hoodie. Where does he want to take me?

''Here, take one of mine.'' he says as he hands me a light blue fleece sweatshirt with dark orange accents.

I unfold it and put it over my top. His sweatshirt is long and baggy on me. It covers half of my thighs and the sleeves are floppy. I get in front of the mirror and wiggle the sleeves as I giggle.

''I look funny in this.'' I turn to one side and look at myself some more. I have the vague impression that I look different than usual. There is something in my appearance that I don't seem to like right now. ''Does this thing make me look bad?'' I ask for a second opinion.

Dimitri comes my way and looks at me head to toe, studying me carefully then smiles warmly. ''No, Roza. You look beautiful. You are _so_ beautiful.'' he says pulling me closer and he kisses my forehead and then the tip of my nose. ''And seeing you dressed in my clothes only makes things better so don't you ever say that again.'' he says and kisses my lips. Then, he goes and puts on a sweatshirt too. But you know what? He is the one making me feel like this. The way he is looking at me, just like he did a few seconds ago, makes me feel beautiful in ways that no one ever could, no matter what I wear or how I really look then. Gosh, the things this man makes me feel are crazy.

* * *

We enter the elevator.

''So, where are we going?''

''Some place I like to go when I can't sleep either.''

''Okay, but where exactly?''

''You'll see.'' he says mysteriously.

''Eh, fine, don't tell me. I like surprises anyway.''

We get to the parking lot under the building. I head as usual towards his Rolls Royce.

''No. Come this way.''

''Oh, are we getting another car?'' I didn't know he had other cars. Not that I would be surprised if he would. Oh, what if he has a McLaren? Maybe he is into speed, who knows?

''Not really.''

He takes me to the back side of the parking lot, in front of a metal door that he opens, and then turns on the light inside the small room. I look past him and take a glance inside. Well, damn me. I was half right with the speed thing. Inside is a fucking motorcycle. This is so cool! I have wanted to take a ride on one ever since I found out what a motorcycle is. And this vehicle is fine as hell. First, it is a Harley Davidson. I mean, yeah, this says it all. It is completely black, with some subtle dark red accents and damn, I just want to touch all that leather on it.

''Is this yours?'' I ask in awe. I am already picturing us riding on it and it is amazing!

''Yes. I have it for some years.''

''Wow, comrade. You never cease to surprise me. Is there some more you haven't shown me?'' I ask as I inspect each millimeter of the motorcycle.

''I don't know.'' He leans over one of the walls inside the coldish room with his arms crossed over his chest. ''You'll just have to wait and find out I guess.'' We both look at the other smiling devilishly. I love it when he's acting this mysteriously.

''Can you drive it?''

''No,'' he says and all my fantasies burn. Then why did he bring me here in the first place? ''I just used to get it out sometimes to pick up chicks. You know, I would lean on it or something. It always did the trick.'' he finishes amused, fucking with me.

''Oh, the sarcasm.'' I say rolling my eyes as I get back out to wait for him.

He gets on the motorcycle and takes it out of that little room. And man, this view. He is dressed in jeans and a black sweatshirt. Simple, but hot. So fucking hot, these two pieces of clothing stressing out everything that needs to be stressed. His hair is unclasped, falling on his shoulders and as he lifts his head up, he catches my eye and gives me a devilish smile, biting his bottom lip. Mmm, good God, he looks like such a bad boy right now. And he's so good at it!

He props one of his feet on the floor and gestures me to hop up. I do as I am said and get behind him. I glue myself by his back and encircle my hands around his torso. I lift my legs and we are ready to go. Gosh, this is so exciting.

He revs up the engine and I squeeze him and close my eyes. But we don't move yet. He just revs it again and I get a better hold of him, expecting for us to finally move, but we don't.

Dimitri laughs lightly. ''Rose, I can't breathe. Or move. You're holding on too tight.''

I let go of him and giggle. ''Sorry, comrade. I have never done this before.''

''It's okay. I know how to do this. You don't have to be afraid.'' I am not afraid of what he might do. I just don't want to be stupid and fall somehow. But I trust him with this thing.

I embrace him again, not squeezing so hard this time and lean my head to one side to take a look at him. ''Is it better like this?''

He turns his head back and kisses me lightly. ''Perfect.'' and I put my cheek on his back, prepared for our little adventure.

We get outside and the wind is gently blowing. I lift my head and look around. Dimitri's hair is waving backward and I can feel his mesmerizing aroma all around me. And the night is so beautiful. We pass many empty streets and the lights are moving fast around us. It is simply amazing.

''Do you like it?'' I barely hear him from all this wind passing around us.

''I love it!'' I squeal in response and his back moves as he chuckles at my excitement.

As the road continues, I gather enough courage to let go of Dimitri and as I pin my legs well, I lift my hands and lean my head backward, meeting the wind. It is such a delightful sensation. It feels like flying with the wind blowing through my hair.

We ride for a while and finally, Dimitri pulls up at the beachside. Oh, I know where we are. I look towards the skyline and I can already see the rotating light at the top of the tall circular building. My heart fills with warmth as I remember. He took me to his favorite place in town. And he wants to share it with me.

For some time, we walk barefoot on the wet sand, heading for the lighthouse, holding hands, leaving behind lines, as we are dragging our feet through the sand.

''Do you want to get into the water?''

''Nah, I don't feel like it. And I don't really know how to swim either.'' So the swimming gets out of the picture.

Later on, we take a seat next to some rocks. I am into his embrace, with my legs around him and my head on his shoulder, and he has his head leaning on mine. I am drawing words on his back and he tries to guess them, as we watch the sun rising. It is so majestic. I have read once a nice thing about sunsets and sunrises; someone said that every time an artist dies, God lets him paint the sky. And it sure feels like the sky is a masterpiece right now. I understand why he likes this place so much. I don't want to leave any time soon.

''Rose?''

I raise my head and look at him. ''Yeah? What happened?'' I am picking up on something from his serious expression. Something is not good.

''Can I ask you something? I wanted to as you this for some time now. And please be honest with me.''

He looks more than dead serious. What is he going to ask me? Did something happen? Did he find out about my encounter with Tasha? Please don't be that. I want for that woman to get out of our lives forever.


	40. Chapter 40

**Hey!**

 **I just wanted to let you know how happy I am that there are so many of you guys saying that you like my story. Your support means a lot for me and only makes me want to write more! I swear that is some kind of a vicious cycle sometimes. I never thought people would appreciate what I am writing, but you guys are amazing! Thanks! :)**

 **Hope you'll enjoy today's chapter too.**

* * *

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Ask me." I must admit I am quite curious about what he wants to ask me.

He begins to play with my hair, walking his fingers through it along my back. Okay, this must be very important, because I can tell that he is doing this to keep me calm. And it works, because I relax under his gentle touches.

"You know, you seemed quite off these past days. And you seem to avoid telling me the reason." he states and maybe he expects me to tell him the answer but I don't know the reason myself because I am not sure if there really is something that is wrong. It's just a little annoying voice at the back of my head that I do my best to ignore and most of the time, it works. So I don't tell him anything because there is nothing that should bother me. He sighs. "Then, I am going to make an assumption here." and after a few seconds, he comes out with the question. "Do you remember that day when you came to my office to ask me for a day off?"

Oh God, how could I forget it? I nod. Please, Dimitri, don't go that way. I don't know if I am ready to have this talk. I searched for many occasion to bring this thing into the discussion, but each time I was close to saying it, I suddenly lost all my courage and eventually didn't do it.

"My assumption is that that thing is a part of what is going on now. So what I want to know Rose is what happened with you back then."

"No, it's not that."

"But Rose, you were so scared and you were shaking from all your joints. I know it wasn't _just_ a stomach illness. There was something more serious going on with you. I didn't push things forward back then because I didn't want to trouble you even more, but I could feel that there was something off with you back then too. And you said it wasn't about the first night we spent together, so it must be something else. Back then, after you came back, you were acting just like now. Something was bothering you very much, Rose. And that something seems to be bothering you again. Tell me what it is and maybe I can help you with it." I can't look at him so I lower my eyes. Am I able to tell him what happened back then? The truth is that I don't think I can, even though I am aware that by keeping this from him I am doing him wrong. He should have known a long time ago. "Was that about something that I did? Did I do it again?"

" _No_ , God no Dimitri. It was nothing like that. I just freaked out." I answer tracing lines on his chest.

"You freaked out that bad about a stomach illness?" he asks in disbelief. "Rose, you began to cry. Is it so bad that you can't tell me? I am sure that we can take care of it. But just tell me what is it."

"No, _really_. It was nothing." I say as I play with the long sleeves of my sweatshirt now. Gosh, I am so nervous and my heart is pounding like crazy. _You should tell him. It's not fair._ my brain is scolding me.

"Then look me in the eyes and tell me that again." Dammit. I lift my head and look him in the eyes and the words don't want to come out anymore. He smiles lightly. "I can tell when you are lying to me, Rose. You never look me in the eyes when you do it. Don't you trust me with that?" Ugh, why is he doing this to me?

"I do trust you, Dimitri. Just-" it's just really hard to speak about that.

"Then tell me. It can't be that bad, right?" it kind of is. He passes his hand through my hair and looks at me expectedly. "What? Do you think it will upset me?" and my expression tells him that yes, this thing might upset him. Big time. "You can trust me with anything, Rose. And it won't upset me. I promise. But just tell me. And then we can deal with it together. "

Okay. It's now or never. And it must happen now. I nod. "Fine." I take a deep breath in and look him in the eyes as I speak. "It happened at about two weeks after we first, you know…" He nods. Good God, this is harder than I thought. "My period was late and I- And I, _gosh_... Dimitri, I thought that I was pregnant." I suddenly let it all out. His face expression changes as my words reach him. And he looks so hurt. Fuck! This is why I didn't want to tell him in the first place!

"You thought?"

"Yes. Because it turned out I wasn't."

"And you were afraid to tell me about that? Were you afraid of me? Did you think that I would...Roza..." he caresses my cheek and he sounds so sad. God, this breaks my heart.

"No." I stop him by putting my hand on his chest. " _Never_. I...I was just freaking out about the situation I found myself into all of a sudden. I didn't know what to do next. And I didn't know what you would have to say about that, considering that you didn't even remember what happened that night. I owed you so many explanations and I wanted to be completely sure before I could tell you about it. I was having a doctor appointment that day and after that-."

"Were you going to tell me if it would have been for real?"

" _Yes_. Definitely. No matter what." I trace my hand along his hair. "I was going to tell you everything no matter what would have happened next. It was your right to know and I know that I shouldn't be keeping it away from you. I _wouldn't_ have kept all of that from you." tears begin to fall from my eyes. "I would have told you. I'm sorry, I just…I know it wasn't right, but I was scared…"

"No, milaya. I am sorry that you had to go through that alone. I understand. But I wish I would have been there for you back then." he says as he rounds his arms on me tightly and kisses some of my tears away. "But I want you to know something too."

"What?" I ask expecting him to tell me something about trust issues or something like that. I know I can trust him with everything because he never gave me reasons not to, and I know I was wrong to keep that away from him for such a long time, but it never seemed appropriate to open the subject out of nowhere. But it is still my fault that I didn't do it and whatever he wants to say to me about that, I deserve it. Maybe worse. But there is no scolding coming from him.

"You need to know that I wouldn't have regretted that, Roza. Never. Not even for a second. I would have taken care of you and our baby. Can you imagine a little you running around our home? It would have made me very happy, Rose." and his words make me cry even harder.

I tighten my embrace and bury my face into the crook of his neck. "I love you so much. And I am so sorry." I say between little sobs.

"Shh, don't cry." he says as he soothes me. "I love you too, Roza. And thank you for telling me this." but I should be the one thanking him for always being so good to me even though I keep on messing things up.

Some seconds pass. "So, there is nothing wrong with your stomach. Shouldn't I worry about that anymore, no?"

I laugh-cry. "No, there's not."

"Good. Good to know." He says and kisses my hair.

* * *

I run as fast as I possibly can along the seaside. My chest hurts as the chilly air enters my lungs but I don't stop. God, please don't let him catch me. But he is so fast! I thought I was good at running but he is way better than me. And my legs are so fucking short in comparison to his. It's so unfair! I must take two or three steps while he just takes one. And it is so hard to run as my bare feet are sinking into this damn sand! I trip two times and I get back on track fast and he almost catches me by my hand in the process, but I do my best to slip away. This means that he is way too close and I need to pick up my pace, but I don't know for how much longer my feet will want to cooperate.

"Rose, come on! You know you can't get away!" he says amused, expecting me to already give up. "I will catch you sooner or later. And trust me, the sooner you stop, the better."

"Is that some kind of threat?"

"Take it as you want."

"Oh, I am so scared. But I can still try to get away, comrade!" I yell as I keep on running. Hell, it is a wonder that I could run away for so long. Maybe he is just playing with me, like a hawk with its prey. I think he could have caught me a long time ago if he really wanted to. But he seems to enjoy this chase way too much.

I take a look behind one more time to check on the distance between us, wanting to know if I should bother with picking up the pace or to give up. But there is no Dimitri behind me. I stop and take a look around. Where the hell is he? How did he disappear so fast? Did he go behind those rocks? Yeah, maybe. I am not going to go that way then. I am not going to fall into his trap. So I turn around to run further away in the other direction, careful to still be looking for him. But my search stops as I bump into him.

"No!" I squeal and try to flee.

But it is way too late already. He grabs my hand, pulls me back and I end up into his embrace.

"Told you I would catch you." he says smiling.

"You were just lucky. I let you catch me." and he chuckles.

Then, he picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder and pins me with his arm. I feel like a sack of potatoes right now as he is carrying me around. I struggle to escape by punching him into the back and wiggling my legs up and down but he doesn't seem very impressed by my actions. In fact, they don't affect him at all.

"Dimitri put me down right now!" I try to sound imposing but the laughter in my voice doesn't help. "I don't want to go. Come on, let me go, Dimitri." but he doesn't listen to me. I decide to try a more aggressive approach of the situation and pinch on his back. And as a repay, he gives my ass a slap. "Hey!" and I try to pinch him again.

He chuckles. "Rose, if you don't stop it, the next one will be harder."

"Mmmm, comrade You know I like it rough." but I shortly stop moving. What is the point? I have no chance to get away again.

He takes me next to the water and puts me down.

"Don't you run. You know I will catch you again." I squint my eyes and throw him a supposedly upset glance as I cross my arms over my chest. "And get your clothes off." he says as he is getting undressed.

"I don't have a bathing suit." maybe like this I will get away.

"Then we will be skinny dipping." he says giving me a devilish smile, obviously enjoying the idea.

"Yeah, sure. So that half the people that are going to come here later would be able to see my bare ass. No thanks. I don't want my ass to be the first thing on some cover tomorrow."

"It won't be. It's still too early for people to follow us around." but I shake my head. "Come on, Rose. Get your clothes off. Or _I'll_ do it.'

"No." I respond and he smiles again then begins to undress me too, pulling his sweatshirt up. Fine, I guess I have no chance to get away with this either so I let him do it.

I am now only in my underwear and it is kind of chilly. He takes my hand into his and moves towards the water.

"We don't have to do this, really. I don't want to." I know I might sound like a little kid but I am quite scared.

"Rose, do you trust me?" I nod. "Then come. I'll take care of you. Nothing bad will happen. I will be with you the whole time."'

Fiiiine. I follow him in and I can feel the coldish water prickling on my legs as we get further. But I get used to the sensation pretty fast and the water doesn't seem that cold.

As we get further and the level of water rises, I latch myself on Dimitri and now my hands are encircled around his neck and my legs around his waist as we float into the water. Well, actually he is floating. I am just attached to him like a baby chimp.

He tries to make me let go of him, but I only hold on tighter. He laughs. "You know, you won't learn to swim if you sit like this the whole time."

"I don't mind. I like sitting like this." I say and kiss him.

"Me too. But you need to let go now."

I pout and as he puts his hands on my waist, I let go of him slowly.

"Good. Now just wiggle your legs to float."

I can already hold my breath for some time. When I was little I used to make a contest out of this with Lissa and I would always win. Doing it underwater is not that bad either. In fact, I begin to enjoy this thing quite much as my fear of drowning disappears. Dimitri is not letting go of me and he is being very careful as he is teaching me to swim. It is quite fun I can say. Ah, the things I was missing out until this day and I wasn't aware of. And it is so nice to float on your back. I love doing this. Dimitri and I do that for some time as we hold hands and I try to make a sense of the cotton white clouds' shapes that started to appear on the sky.

When I am sure that I can do this thing without any aid, I ask Dimitri to let go of me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yup comrade. I can do this." he is quite a good teacher, I must give him that. Some other people tried to teach me to swim before but failed. When I am free to go on my own, I get under the water and actually swim without any aid. Yay! I am quite proud of myself.

I dive in and out a few times before an idea comes to my head. Ha-ha! I am going to pay him back for the little chase from earlier.

I dive in one more time. I plan to swim around Dmitri and when he at least expects it, I am going to jump out and scare him. I am so proud of my little prank. I encircle him for a minute or so and I get a little away from him so that he won't see me. But well, my plan goes to hell because he dives in too. How am I going to scare him if he sees me? In a matter of seconds, he finds me and pulls me up. His face is so harsh.

"Rose, don't do that ever again." he says holding me by my shoulders.

"What did-?"

"I couldn't find you. And I called for you, and you didn't respond and-" he sighs. "Don't do that again, please."

"I was just playing around. I wanted to jump on you and scare you. I'm sorry Dimitri. I didn't think things through."

"Well, you managed to scare the shit out of me, Rose." he says as he glues me to his chest. "Let's go now. We had enough fun for today."

* * *

"Someone stole my jeans. From everything they could have taken, they took my jeans! Oh, and one of my shoes is missing too. _Motherfukers_!"

Dimitri shots me a glance.

"Yeah, I know, I know. I am going to watch my language when someone won't steal my jeans anymore. And a damn shoe. Like really? They could at least take them both. This only means they did it on purpose."

"You can wear mine if you'd like."

"Yeah, sure, comrade. As much as I would like to see you ride that motorcycle only in your underpants, I wouldn't like to share that view with half a world. And anyway, your sweatshirt is like a dress on me so it would be okay. No one took anything from you?"

"No."

"Lucky bastard." and at this, he pinches my ass. Hard, and I jump to one side, massaging my red skin. "Hey! What was that for?"

"For your language."

I wiggle my eyebrows up and down playfully. "Hey, it's not called punishment if I liked it, right?"

* * *

It's Sunday and around noon I can feel the effects of the lack of sleep from Friday night. And last night wasn't pretty for me either, because I had some pretty dreams that made me wake up several times.

I was watching another episode of that Russian TV series I found when I was in Moscow when I fell asleep on the sofa. What can I say; as clichéic as it was, it caught my attention and I needed to know how it was going to end. Were they going to end up together or was their relationship destined to perdition? Those were some good questions I needed an answer for. And I would usually make Dimitri watch it with me because I only found it in Russian and I needed to understand more of what was going on there so he became my personal interpreter. Not a very nice one I can say because he is often making sarcastic comments considering the plot and is rolling his eyes at the cheesy scenes. But I had to deal with what I have. And for that moment, he was in the kitchen making us something to eat and I had to manage on my own. My eyes simply closed just as the two lovers were kissing.

And I dream that shit again. It happened last night too, several times, keeping me awake. That bitch Tasha got inside my head big time with her he'll-never-change speech from the other day. She got to me more than I am ready to admit out loud. I wasn't affected by it when I was awake, but my subconsciousness is a total bitch.

It all happens the same. I am sitting behind a glass wall with Tasha and we are watching Dimitri as he is meeting another woman in front of the Belikov Enterprises building. It seems that they can't see us. The glass works in only one way it seems, just like the ones into interrogation rooms work.

The woman Dimitri meets up with is tall and skinny, with blonde hair styled into nice small curls, making her resemble a doll. She is wearing a short jade dress. Like very short, rounded on her full ass; I think I can see her underpants if I bend a little. Nice. She seems to be my competitor in my mind.

The thing is that they don't kiss or hug or anything as they see each other. They don't touch at all in fact. Tasha speaks first, distracting my attention from them:

"See, I told you that sooner or later he'll do it."

"No. He won't do that. I trust him. They haven't done anything."

"Yet." she adds with a puff and gets that superior attitude.

I feel the anger inside me grow. I trust him, period. And she just needs to shut the fuck up if she doesn't want to be slapped anytime soon.

We watch them in silence for some time and nothing happens. They are just walking on a never-ending street and speak about something I can't hear.

"I was right, Tasha. He loves me. He is not the same man. You said it by yourself. So he won't do something like that to me. Ever."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Totally. I trust him completely."

"Then see for yourself." she says smiling.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I already told you he won't do that. And you can see by yourself that they are not-" and I stop as I direct my attention to the other two. I don't find the previous street in my sight anymore. Instead, I see them kissing. And they are in Dimitri's bed now; our bed. And both of them are naked. She gets on top of him and starts to move back and forth fast, Dimitri's hands being all over her body. I feel sick. Tasha begins to laugh mischievously and I look at her for a second.

The glass that was separating us shatters in the next second and some shards are cutting the skin on my hands in the process, my hands turning red from all the blood pouring out of my veins. Dimitri doesn't pay me any attention, but the blonde turns her head in my direction and as she smiles superior, she speaks to me.

"He'll never change." she says and then starts moaning hard.

And so the dream ends and my brain projects something else into my mind. I don't remember much, but it was something about me being a circus contortionist and at a show, I got stuck into a box and some clowns were trying to get me out of there and the people watching the show were laughing by the situation was in. It is funny how your mind can fuck with you so much.

* * *

I wake up as someone is gently brushing my shoulder and is whispering my name. I open my eyes and see Dimitri's darkling shape. He looks so beautiful into this dim light, his sharp features being the only ones emphasized. His hand moves to my cheek and he strokes it gently with his thumb. A silly smile appears on my lips. I can't get tired of waking up seeing him.

"Hey, comrade. Is it dark already?" I say rubbing my eyes and accommodating my vision to the dim light.

"Yeah. You fell asleep and I didn't want to disturb you."

I sit up and find myself into the bed. Of course he took me here. He takes so much care of me. "What time is it?"

"Around seven."

"Wow, I slept for some time."

I take a look at him and he seems off. There is something that is bothering him. Probably work again.

"Dimitri, what's wrong?"

He takes my hands into his. "Rose, I have to go."

"Like to the office? Did something happen?" God, that fucker who left is going to get himself a kick in the balls if I ever see him.

"No. I need to go to Moscow."

"Why is that?"

"They have some problems and they need me there. They called me some time ago."

"For how long?"

"Five days at most." pff, that is a lot.

"Shall I go pack my things?"

His expression shifts. "I was thinking that you could watch over things here while I am gone? Would that be okay with you? You know, things are pretty messy now that Micah left." yeah, I know, how could I not?

"Yes, of course. I can do that. It can't be that hard, right? Are you leaving in the morning?"

"Not really. My flight is at twelve."

"Like, in the afternoon?"

"No. Today. At midnight."

Upset, I punch him into the chest, he loses his balance and falls on his butt. He looks at me bewildered.

"And you let me sleep for so long? You leave in like, five hours! You should have woken me up earlier." I say pouting.

A smile appears on his face as he rises and kisses me lightly. "Come, Rose. Let's eat something. You must be hungry."

* * *

"Did you take everything you need?"

"No."

"What else do you need? I will go and bring it to you."

"You." he says smiling lightly.

"Oh, comrade. You are so cheesy and you roll your eyes at that TV series, huh?"

He smiles and leans over to kiss my forehead. "I'll miss you, Roza."

"Yeah, me too." I say and glue myself to his cold leather duster. He doesn't wear this enough. But I don't complain. He fits into his suits just fine. "Call me when you get there, okay? I don't care what time it is. And be safe, okay?"

"You too." he says kissing me goodbye.

* * *

 **Monday**

I get to the office around six thirty. Hell, the boss isn't around, right? I am the boss in fact and I allow myself to get here late. As I head towards the elevator, Sydney calls my name.

"Hey!"

"Hi. What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing bad." she reassures me with a hand gesture too. "I just wanted to tell you that _some girl_ has a secret admirer."

"Yeah? Who's that? Is it you? Did Adrian send you a dozen bouquets of roses again? I want to see them all." ever since he left back in Russia he does things like these quite often. Isn't he sweet?

"No, silly. I am not talking about me. The office boy just delivered something for _you_."

"Really? For me? What is it? From who?"

"I won't tell. Go see for yourself." she says smiling all-knowingly.

"Thanks." I say, already on my way upstairs.

I open the door to my office and see an enormous bouquet of purple lilies. Wow, there must be at least forty or fifty of them. My mouth turns into a big smile. I get closer and find a note attached. It simply says: "I love you. -D" Ah, my man is so sweet.

And around ten he calls me.

"Hi, Rose."

"Hey."

"Did you, by chance, receive something this morning?"

"Hm, let me think. Oh, yeah. One of my admirers sent me a lovely bouquet of lilies."

"Hm, really?"

"Yup, comrade. There must be at least forty of them."

"Fifty-one in fact."

"And I love each one of them. They are splendid, Dimitri. Thank you. I love you too."

"So, how is your day working?"

"Meh, you know, it is kind of boring around here without having someone to tease."

He laughs. "Well, maybe you can tease me later."

"Oh, I would love that."

* * *

Tuesday

I was preparing myself for bed when my phone rang. Oh, Dimitri must have woken up. I take the phone and plop myself onto the gigantic bed, excited to hear his voice after another long day at the office.

"Heyyyy."

"Hi." he says in a raspy voice that sounds so hot.

I giggle as some idea comes into my mind.

"What's so funny?"

"Hey, comrade, what are you wearing?" I say trying to sound sexy.

* * *

 **I think you already guess what's coming next, no? *wink***

 **Until Monday, lots of love!**


	41. Chapter 41

**Helloo!**

 **If you haven't guessed already, I have another M scene for you because how could Dimitri be away without some sexy time on the phone, huh?**

 **And yeah, I have planned some more drama. I seriously can't help myself.**

 **And Dimitri'sGiddess, I am sorry, but there won't be any dog. At least not in this story. But I promise to consider that if I get writing another story :)**

* * *

"Hey, comrade, what are you wearing?" I say trying to sound sexy.

"What do you think I am wearing? I just woke up." He says seemingly confused by my question and I hear him moving around the room, probably wanting to get ready for a new day.

I growl. "Oh, Dimitri. You are _no fun._ "

"Ooooh." And he chuckles. "I see what you did there. You wanna play that game, huh?" he asks in a raspy voice. Well, it took him a while. But I'll give this to him, he just woke up.

And I hear a squeaky thing, maybe from him taking a seat. Oh, he is already getting comfy.

"Don't know. Do _you_ wanna play the game? Don't you have an early meeting?"

"Let them wait." I giggle. Oh, the perks of being the boss. "So, what are you wearing, Roza?" he asks into the most sensual voice on earth that makes me feel aroused already.

I take a look at the black long T-shirt of his I am wearing.

"Hm, I am wearing a _very short_ , red, silk nightgown."

"I highly doubt that." he says into an amused voice, picking up to my lie.

"Hey, you have a good imagination, no? So, in your wildest dreams, I can wear that, comrade."

"In my wildest dreams, you aren't wearing anything, Roza." And his words make my blood in my veins flow faster and the air in the room gets hotter.

"Yeah, we'll get there soon cowboy."

"So? What is it?" he insists.

"Your T-shirt." I confess. I was missing him and that is the only proper substitute I could find. He was wearing it before he left and it still smells strongly like him.

And I know that he is smiling now because I hear that light puff that usually escapes his nose as he does so. "That's _way_ better than any fancy nightgown. What else?"

"Nothing." I lie. But meh, I could easily get rid of my panties. At my response, he growls.

"You have no idea what are you doing to me, Roza."

"Yeah? What am I doing to you?"

"You are making me hard."

"Mmmm." And I moan lightly at the thought of the swelling in his pants. "How hard?" I swear that I am not really used to this type of kinky conversation, I never did it before, but these answers are coming out of nowhere and I feel really dirty. And I love it!

"Rock hard." He says with a light growl. God, only hearing him talking about it makes me drip down there. I take my underpants off quickly and then press my thighs together at the thought of his member getting harder.

"Just how I like it." At this, he growls again. "Only from thinking about me, huh?"

"Always." And a smile spreads on my lips.

"And what would you do to me if you were here?"

"I would take you again, and again, and _again_. _All_ night long. You would be barely able to walk tomorrow." he responds breathing heavily, just like I do too.

"You're touching yourself already comrade?"

"No. You first. Get your thumb into your mouth."

"Why?"

"Just do it." He commands. I don't usually like being bossed around, but with him it is different. I think I could do so many things just if he would just tell me to do so. So I comply. "Did you do it?"

"Yeah." I respond funny with my thumb in my mouth.

"Good. Now lick it."

"What next?" I ask moving my tongue around my thumb.

"Put your phone on speaker."

"Already done that." and I place it too next to me on the bed.

"Then lift the T-shirt."

I slide my palm under the material and get the hem just above my breasts. "Done."

"Take your thumb and rub on your _hard_ nipple." Hm, where did he know that from? I close my eyes, imagining that he is the one touching me. "Now pinch it." I moan as I do that. "Again." My back now arches and I squeeze hard my legs tighter together. "You like that, Roza?"

"Yeah." I say moaning. God, hearing him guiding me through all this is taking things to a whole new level.

"Good. Don't stop. Now get your other hand and brush your thighs." I spread my legs and follow his instructions, my muscles contracting involuntarily at every touch of my fingers moving up and down on my skin. "Get closer." I take my hand down on my thigh, reaching the thin skin next to my hot core.

"Are you wet Roza?"

I get two fingers and slide them up and down in between my folds, only managing to stupidly tease me in the process, and I feel my wetness.

"I am _soaking_ , Dimitri."

And he growls hard, his breathing only getting heavier. Well, he wanted to know. "Good. Very good. This means we can get further. Now massage yourself. But _don't_ get further." I do that too and soon remain breathless. My hips move up, mindlessly trying to get more. "No, no. You are moving too fast. Go slower." I growl in frustration, but I comply. Even when he's not around he likes to tease me. I continue to make small circles on my bundle of nerves, but I can't go on like this for long. I need to get further _in_ me.

"Can I-?"

"Not yet. Rub some more. Go faster this time." Fuck, I want so much to disobey him now. But I don't. I just move my hand faster, my back arching some more.

"God, Dimitri." I moan his name. "I need more. I want you in me."

He growls. "Goddamnit, Roza." He says and I can hear on the background something getting to move faster, and his breathing intensifies. "Go in. But only with one finger." he allows me some seconds later.

I growl again, but I bring only my middle finger, as it is longer, inside me as I bend my knees and part my legs some more to get further in, my hips lifting on instinct. My other hand is still massaging my breast and I feel like I am going to go insane soon.

"Come on, comrade. Even at such great distance you still tease me?"

"Don't I always?" and I can already imagine that smug smile appearing on his face and how hot he is when he does that.

"Does that feel good Roza?"

"Mhm." Is all I manage to respond as my head is getting cloudy.

"Good. Don't stop." And we spend a couple of seconds in silence, the only things I can hear being my moans and his hard breath. "Would you want more?"

I arch my back and reach deeper with my finger. "Yeah." I respond moaning and he fucking dares to laugh lightly.

"Not yet." Really? How long is he going to do this to me?

"You know I'll pay you back for this, right?"

"I just can't wait." And a little pause comes, in which he lets out a long pleasurable guttural sound.

"Comrade? Have you…?"

"Mhm. On my way for the second."

"That's _not_ fair!" I whine. He teases me and he goes so fast? _Really_ unfair. I will so pay him back when he comes home.

He laughs lightly. "Well, I can't help it. It's all you Rose. _You_ do this to me." And I haven't stopped moving my hands and I still moan lightly, urging him to allow me to get more. "Okay, now you can get more." Finally! I slip my index between my folds and further in me and move both my fingers in circles. "Go faster." He pushes me and the moans from earlier only get louder as I move my sticky fingers in and out of my throbbing center now.

I move my other hand from my nipple, getting down on my clit and as I reach it, a little scream gets out of my mouth. God, I am so sensitive right now. And I keep on working on myself with both hands, one circling and pressing on my bundle of nerves and the other pounding in and out of myself, and this sensation is completely maddening.

"Are you close?" he says breathlessly.

" _Fuck, yes_."

"Then scream for me, Roza. Scream my name." he says into a grunted voice. He's close too, I can tell. Again, but still. I will let it pass. Thinking about him into a darkened room, touching himself, I begin to move faster and soon I do scream as my fingers get crushed by my walls and I suddenly squeeze my thighs together hard as my body slowly convulses, managing to push my fingers deeper inside me like that. I hear him beginning to breathe harder and not long after he releases too with a low long grunt.

"That. Was. Amazing." I say, trying to catch my breath.

"You were amazing, Roza." Yeah, who knows what I was doing in his mind, right? Something very good cause he came twice, little bastard.

But it was a long day for me and after all this action I am totally exhausted. I can barely keep my eyes open. I turn to one side, drag the T-shirt down and cover myself with the covers, getting closer to the phone.

"I miss you, Dimitri."

"Me too, milaya." A pause comes in which he moves too. "What time is it there?"

"Maybe midnight."

"You should get some sleep. It's late."

"No. I don't want you to go. I want to hear your voice some more."

And he doesn't go. Instead, he begins to tell me something in that beautiful language of his, and not long after I drift away to dreamland.

* * *

 **Wednesday**

I wake up holding Dimitri's pillow tight into my embrace. Gosh, I got so used to be around him and I can't wait for him to come back. I really miss his presence. And speaking with him once a day is surely not enough for me. I take a deep breath and his earthy scent fills my nostrils. I just can't get tired of this. It's not like the original, but it does the thing for now. Only two days left. I stay like that for some more minutes, trying to replace him in my mind with his pillow, but nothing compares with laying my head on his chest and him running his fingers through my hair. Ugh! After the thing doesn't function, I hardly get out of bed and prepare myself for another alone, boring day of work.

Around noon a delivery boy comes in.

"Miss Hathaway?" he asks leaning his head into the frame of the open door.

"Yes. Come here."

"I have a package for you, Miss. Please sign here."

I sign the papers he gave me, and then he hands me a big thick envelope. I turn it around and inspect it. It has absolutely nothing written on it. No sender's address, no nothing. It's completely blank. Who sent me this? Is this really for me? And how did the delivery boy know it is for me then? This must be something from Dimitri. It's the only explanation. What little surprise he has for me today?

With a smile on my lips, I open it and take out a little pile of glossy papers. And they are all white. I turn them on the other side to see what is the thing with them. And the smile disappears from my face as I see the first paper. It has something written on it, with a dark thick marker. So, this is not from Dimitri. His handwriting is not this sloppy. Then what the hell is this? Is someone around the office trying to mess with me? I swear that if it is one of those bitches around here that apparently settled down, I am going to leave them with no hair on their heads. I am so not the person who they can fuck with. I read the note and it simply says: "This is why he really went to Moscow. I told you. He'll **never** change. Now you will know how it feels. After this he'll come back to me, you'll see." these words seem familiar. _Tasha_. She surely is the one who sent me this. I could recognize her ''He'll come back to me'' speech anywhere. Gosh, isn't she fucking annoying?

I take a look at the other papers. They are a bunch of photos. Of Dimitri and some woman. Oh, good God. Please don't let this be true. I can feel the bitter taste of bile rising in my throat as I go through all the photos. Good thing I didn't eat anything this morning, otherwise I would have already been throwing up. Who is this woman he is with?

And how the hell did Tasha take these photos? Is she fucking following us around now? Did she hire some detectives? Does she have some photos of me too? Good God! What is _wrong_ with her? This shit overcomes everything she has done until now.

 _But what if she is right and this is the proof that he is cheating on you?_ No. No! This thing is not happening. This surely is some trick of hers. She is good at making shit up. That woman he is with must be part of her twisted plan and these photos are just photoshopped or something. With all the technology around, it's not that hard to fake a thing like this these days. She just warned me about her getting revenge on me, right? I won't let myself fooled.

There are a total of ten photos. I look at them four times, just to be sure that what I am seeing is true. Or to convince myself that they are not. In two of them, they are hugging and both of them are smiling widely. In one they are kissing on the cheek, seeming very friendly. In one of them, they are walking, the woman having her arm encircled around his. They seem happy together. And some other photos depict them as they are having lunch together. Nothing more than that. So there is nothing I should worry about. But something does.

First, she is really beautiful. She is tall, with a nice, fit body, dressed in a pair of tight jeans and a light orange shirt. Her hair is long, light brown and it has purple streaks. But what bothers me most is that I know this woman from somewhere, I'm sure of it. But I can't remember from where. I am sure that I have seen her before. _But where and when, Rose?_

 _No_. You know what? I won't play Tasha's game. I won't let myself fooled by her. I trust Dimitri with my whole being. He won't do something like this to me. There must be a logical explanation for this. And the photos don't really show much. They look like some old friends, reunited. He is totally allowed to have female friends, after all; I am not crazy jealous and paranoid. I am not like Tasha.

He told me that he loves me and I love him too. This is what matters. Tasha can go to hell with all her machinations. I put the envelope with photos into my bag and try not to think about that anymore. But the face of that woman is present into my mind all day long as I struggle to remember where I have seen her before, without any success.

* * *

I get home around six and I am extremely pissed off. First, because my mind is not helping me at all to remember that girl. It's like I have seen her a lifetime ago and her name keeps on slipping out of my mind. Secondly, because Tasha doesn't seem to have backed down; the bitch bites back it seems. It took her a while to plan something and now she is just waiting to reap the fruits of her little plan; well, I am not going to give her the satisfaction. Not again. And in the last place, I am pissed off on my heart. On myself. I know I said that I trust Dimitri. And I really do, completely. But there is that one percent of doubt in me that is killing me slowly. I just hope he won't give me any reasons to doubt him. I want with all my heart for this thing not to be true.

* * *

I was taking a bath when he called me. I hurriedly take the phone and in my mind, I pray. Please, just bring some light to this, Dimitri. I detest myself for having these bad thoughts.

"Hello, Roza." he says into that cute I-just-woke-up voice.

"Hi." I say weakly. I can't shake this bad fucking feeling, not even from my voice.

"Is there something wrong?" ugh; of course he can tell there's something bothering me; he knows me well enough; _then why don't you, Rose?_

"No, I am just a little tired, no biggie." I lean over the edge of the bathtub and watch the little droplets of water falling down on the gritstone from the tip of my fingers.

"Long day at the office? Is someone bothering you? Tell me and I'll take care of them immediately."

I let myself chuckle. Here he is nice again and I doubt him. "No, comrade. I am good."

"You wanna go to sleep? I can call in the morning."

"No. I want to hear your voice. Tell me how was your day."

"I had a meeting in the morning with those morons." he says bored.

"It was that bad, huh?"

"Rather long than bad."

"Was that all?" I want him to speak some more to me. His voice is calming the torment in my chest.

"I had a nice lunch at a new restaurant in town. I think you would have like it. It has the kind of food you like. Nothing too sophisticated." my attention intensifies when he mentions about lunch.

"And who was the lucky person to accompany you, comrade?" I loathe myself as these words get out of my mouth. I want to drown myself into this bathtub. But I need him to tell me.

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, come on, Mister I-don't-like-eating-alone Belikov. Or was that just something you said to make me come to that restaurant that night, huh?" I turn to my jokingly side so that he won't see my questions as intruding. God, why am I acting like this desperate jealous girlfriend? I am beginning to turn into Tasha and this doesn't do me any good. I need to stop now.

He chuckles. "Something like that. I just wanted you to come so that I would be in your charming company. But yes, you guessed right. I didn't have lunch alone today." my heart tightens. Please don't lie to me. Just tell me the truth. "I met my sister." and then it hits me and it comes all rushing to me like a train.

 _His sister! His fucking sister Rose!_ He told me all about his family one time. But the only photo I have ever seen of them is the one I found on the internet some time ago. And that is the place I have seen that woman. And I couldn't recognize her because she was way younger then and she didn't have her hair colored. God, I hate myself so much right now. Tears begin to fall on my cheeks from relief and from shame. Why can't I just trust him, period?

"Which one?"

"Viktoria." the little one. "The one who studies here." yeah, she does. _Gosh, Rose. You'd better make it up to him somehow._

"How is she?" I keep the conversation going, trying not to let him realize that I am crying.

"Good. She is excited to meet you someday."

"You told her about me?"

"Of course I did. My whole family knows about you and they all want to meet you soon." Yeah, in my family things don't go that easily. My father will immediately feel the instinct to have _the talk_ with Dimitri as soon as he will find out, but I know he is a good guy and won't go ballistic like my mother did. Still, she is not that pleased with the idea of me being with Dimitri. The things between the two of us began to ameliorate a little these past months ever since I left home and I thought that she would be alright with me being into this relationship, but I thought wrong. Oh, and the things she still has to say about that, no matter how much I try to convince her that Dimitri makes me very happy. But I still hope that at least my father will be supportive of my relationship.

We continue our conversation, making plans about the stiff we will do when he will get back, and my water eventually turns cold.

Before hanging up, he tells me that he loves me.

"I love you too. And I'm sorry." I whisper lastly. I don't know if he heard me but I felt the need to tell him that.

* * *

Around midnight my phone rings again. I reach for it and answer from instinct:

"Dimitri?" I mumble.

"Sorry to disappoint you." I hear a snarly voice. Tasha?

" _Tasha_?" I can't fucking believe it!

"The one and the only here speaking."

"What the _fuck_ do you want?"

"Oh, come on, Rose. You should be _grateful_ to me and instead, you speak to me like this? Not nice." She says and tsks.

I have completely woken up now and the anger from earlier is still there and it is only growing as I hear her speaking.

" _Grateful_? And why would I be grateful for?"

"Oh, poor you. Are you in denial? Should I give you some more time to take in everything?"

"The one person in denial is you, Tasha. Can't you just get over it like _normal_ people do? I think that enough time has passed already. You have that man of yours. Go to him and drown your sorrow. Fuck him till you can't anymore. I don't care, but just get over this shit. I am tired of your threats. You didn't manage to do shit. Can you stop it now?"

"You just can't accept the truth and you pick on me now?"

"Oh, I accept the truth that Dimitri loves that woman."

"That easily?"

"Yeah. But I know that their relationship is doomed."

She laughs. "Do you think that he loves you _that much_? That he will give up on her?"

"I don't _think_ that. I know it."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. You know, he's not the same person you used to date with. _So get over it._ He _won't_ come back to you."

"And what would you say if you would find out that he slept with her too?" yeah, sure.

"Do you have any proof?" I try to sound concerned and it works because she gets that superior tone.

"I might have."

"Would you care to share them?"

"I don't know. If you ask me nicely, I might." Yeah, this is like the last thing I am going to do: to beg her to do something for me. I don't _beg_. Ever.

"Yeah, but that is highly unlike to happen and even your little brain is aware of that."

"What, you don't want to see for yourself? Are you afraid that I might be right?"

"There is nothing that I am afraid when it comes to you. Get that in the little head of yours. Plus, I know that you have no proof and you surely won't have any, in like, a thousand years."

"Really? Why?"

"Well, I have never thought that he would be the incest type of guy. Do you know something else and you care to share?"

"He what?" she tries to act surprised.

"Oh, Tasha. Cut the crap. I know that that woman is his sister." No response from her. Got you! "What did you think? Are you that _fucking_ stupid? How desperate are you, really? Did you really think that I would fall into this shitty trap of yours? What? If I know him not for so long, do you think I wouldn't know how the members of his family look? It seems that you are the one who got herself played here. It seems that poor you didn't know Dimitri's family. Have you ever thought why? _Because things between the two of you weren't serious!_ So maybe you'll learn to do your lesson first next time and be sure of shit. So stop playing around with nonsense. Don't you have some modeling shows to do instead? Oh, or you can go into some nice cruise with your new man. I don't know, pick up on a new hobby, throw yourself off a cliff, do something! Just leave us alone! Or else I swear that I am coming after you."

"You bitch! This won't be the last time you hear about me."

"Yeah, I hoped that I would, but I know that you are not that kind woman to easily get rid of. You are just like yeast. You just keep coming back. What do you want to leave us alone?"

"Him. I want him."

"Sorry, sweetie, but I don't think you'll live to see that day. He made that pretty obvious, didn't he?" I am so done. I am not going to let myself be intimidated by this woman. Not again.

"We'll see about that."

"Yeah, we will definitely see. Just come near me again and you will regret it. Do you have something else to say? You know, some of us have a job to go to tomorrow. So now if you would excuse me, I have to go back to sleep." I say and end up the call. She began to say something else, but I didn't want to listen. I am sick of her bullshit.

Okay, this whole following around and taking pictures detective style that Tasha did is more than enough. It is now obvious that she means trouble and I am not going to accept her bullshit anymore. Who knows what her twisted mind has in plan to do next. I can't risk it. I have to finally tell Dimitri about this. I have thought that this thing will simply pass but it seems that I was wrong. I have no other choice than to let him know about the two of them and their little plot. When he comes back tomorrow, I will tell him and he can get upset or whatever he wants because I didn't tell him when I actually had to. I'll have to deal with this situation somehow. It's the consequences of my stupid actions again. I hope he will be able to forgive me for that.

* * *

 **Thursday**

My day at the office is as boring as usual. How come Dimitri does this every day? I mean, being his secretary isn't bad. I just have to put things in order and type some shit and deliver files and some other easy things. But to have to take care of so many things? Um, no. This is not the job for me. I can't wait to pass it over to him on Monday. He is way better at this than I am.

And my evening would have been as boring as the beginning of my day unless Lissa wouldn't have called me to invite me over to her place.

I don't bother to go home after work and I even leave early just to have some more time to spend with the two love birds. I haven't gone to their house for some time now and we have some serious talking to do in order to make it up for all the time we wasted.

I get there around four and I happen to stumble over the two of them quarreling. I have already knocked at the door when I heard some screams coming from the apartment. Whoops, maybe I shouldn't have done that. But the damage is already done. There is no way to avoid this shit.

"What?" Lissa opens the door and tames herself at my sight. "Oh, Rose, you came earlier."

"Um, yeah. I wanted to surprise you guys. Did I interrupt something? Should I come back later? I can go if you want to."

"Hey, don't be silly." she says as she drags me inside. "Now you can be by _my_ side." she continues and she laughs. Yeah, the exact thing I wished to do today. To be the mediator between the two of them. It's not nice to be around them when they are quarreling. It either ends with them kissing or throwing things at each other. And you don't want to be around when the last thing happens, trust me. It was a bad experience for me the first time it happened.

We get to the kitchen and when Christian sees me, he rolls his eyes.

" _Perfect_. You brought back up. I may just agree with everything starting from now."

"Hey, guys. I am not here to be on someone's side. I can go if you want."

"No!", and "Yes, please." say the both of them simultaneously.

I laugh. "Okay. At least tell me why are you fighting in the first place. I have to know all the details in order to pick a side, right?"

"I want our cake to be red velvet and he wants just a simple vanilla cake!" Lissa says upset. " _Vanilla_. Just like our grandparents would. It's the 21st century! Let's make things differently!"

"Wait a second. I am a little confused. Your birthdays aren't coming soon. What cake are you talking about?"

"The wedding cake." they say in unison, like it would be the most obvious thing on earth.

" _What_? You guys started planning the last things for your wedding and you didn't tell _me_?" I shoot them both a glance and their faces change into embarrassed ones.

"Umm.."

I laugh at their sight. "Yeah, um… Anyway. Tell me this. If you are quarreling about your cake flavor, what are you going to do with the rest of the things? Claw your eyes off? And why can't you just put things together? Try velvet with vanilla cream or something for God's sake. Mix the cakes somehow so both of you will be happy."

"Oh, that is kind of a great idea." says Lissa impressed. "It could work."

"Of course it would work. I am a genius, forgot?" I say proud of myself.

We spend the next couple of hours making wedding plans. For me, it is fun to watch. For them, it is kind of frustrating, because they have all these little decisions to make and so many things to take into consideration. I am simply there for my own amusement and to offer some guidance when needed. Oh. And to be sure they don't throw one at each other's neck.

Will Dimitri and I get to plan our wedding like this? How would it be like? I sigh and zone out, not listening to the other two speaking, as I am thinking about my wedding day, with Dimitri waiting for me at the altar. Gosh, it would be such a beautiful day in my life. I really can imagine myself spending the rest of my life with him by my side.

"Rose?" Lissa interrupts my daydream by waving her hand in front of my eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Let's go watch a movie. It's eight and I am done with this planning thing. My brain is practically on fire."

"Oh, I would love that."

An hour later we run out of snacks. And we still have a full night of movies.

"Liss, how did you plan a movie night without snacks may I ask?"

"It's not _my_ fault. Christian was the one supposed to make the supply since _yesterday_." she says, giving him a hard glare.

"I forgot honey; don't be so harsh on me. I had to pick up your scrub suit too, you know?"

"Ah, men." the both of us girls say.

"Okay, as I am one of the hosts, I am going to sacrifice myself and go buy some more snacks. But if one of you even _dares_ to press play, you can kiss your treats goodbye. Clear?"

"Cristal." Christian and I respond simultaneously. It's one of the things we both can agree upon.

When Lissa is ready to head out, I stop her.

"Hey, Liss. You want to go to the market in style?"

"What do you mean?"

I smile as I get out the Roll's keys and dangle them in front of her eyes.

"No way! Wouldn't Dimitri mind about that?"

"Nah. _He_ gave _me_ the keys willingly; I didn't have to do anything to get them. I mean, yeah. You know how I drive. So if I'll give you the keys the car is into the safest hands on earth. You are practically a saint in traffic."

"Oh, well, if you insist." she says and takes my keys grinning.

"Make sure you won't hit a fly or something, okay? They have families too, you know?"

"Ha-ha. Very funny." she says before kissing Christian goodbye, and then she closes the door behind her.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, things begin to be strange. Lissa should have already come back. And even if the market was full, she should have come home like ten minutes ago, it is not that far.

Christian calls her to see what's wrong, and things get bad in a matter of seconds.

"Hey, Li-"

"Fiancé."

"Yes."

"Can you say that again?"

"What do you mean _accident_?" my blood turns cold. What did he just say?

"Where?"

"When?"

"Which hospital?" hospital? is it that bad?

The summary conversation knots my intestines. Accident? How could that happen? Good God, please take care of her.

* * *

 **Until Wednesday, have a nice week everybody!**

 **Lots of looooove!**


	42. Chapter 42

After ten minutes and the longest car drive from my life, Christian and I rush into the hospital where Lissa has been taken after the accident and head to the main desk, from where a nice nurse directs us to where she is.

When we want to go to her, some woman interdicts us to. The doctor is still in there with her, examining her and we need to wait for him to finish. The worst thing that could possibly happen. To have to wait. They practically make us sit there on a hallway, along with other desperate, as clueless as us people at the emergency room, letting the fear creep into our souls, and wait and wait, sitting there with only our worst thoughts that none of us is able to say out loud, praying that they won't come true. They don't say anything to us no matter how much we ask for some explanations, and it took them so much to take care of her at the emergency room, making us think that those worst things really happened.

The doors open for hundreds of times, doctors and nurses going hurriedly in and out, but no one says anything to us for half an hour.

"Who is here for Miss Dragomir?" a doctor finally asks and Christian and I immediately shot up from our chairs and go to him, throwing hundreds of questions around, but the man cuts us short, lifting his hand and making us shut up.

"She is alright. Nothing serious happened. She just broke her left forearm, hitting it into the steering wheel, and she has a slight concussion. But there is nothing bad. Trust me, things could have been worse. She is one of the lucky ones. We just had to put her hand into a cast and we would discharge her tomorrow or the day after because we need to keep an eye on her, to see if the concussion is affecting her."

At his words, I can feel the pressure on my chest disappearing. "Thank you very much, Sir." I say. Thank God she is alright.

"Are you the father?" the doctor's attention turns to Christian.

"Um, no. Do I look like her _father_? I am her fiancé."

The doctor sighs, the tiredness on his face getting more obvious with each passing moment. "I was referring to the father of the _baby_ , Sir."

"What baby?" both of us ask in surprise.

"Oh, you didn't know. Your fiancée is pregnant in nine weeks." At this, our jaws drop. What did he just say? "But don't worry. The baby is perfectly fine. She was very lucky that she was driving without any speed. If you want to see her, she will be transferred to a room upstairs and you can see her in some minutes. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some other patients I have to take care of." he says lastly and gets back into the emergency room.

I am simply confused. Should I be sad about the accident? Should I be happy that she is alright? Of course I am. And she is pregnant. This is great news. Nine weeks? How come we didn't see anything? How come she didn't tell us anything? Good God, a little baby is growing inside her belly! But she could have lost the baby today. How did this accident even happen? We are talking about Lissa here. I am sure that this thing wasn't her fault. If I am going to find the one who did this, I am going to end his life.

I take a look at Christian and he has the same confused expression as me. But when his eyes meet mine, he simply takes me into a tight hug and tells me into the happiest voice: "She is alright, Rose! And I am going to be a father! Can you believe that?"

* * *

We finally enter her room upstairs and find Lissa laying on the hospital bed. She has her arm into a cast and a light bruise is forming on her forehead. But she is fine. This is all that matters for the moment.

We gently hug her, careful not to do some damage. She looks at Christian and the most beautiful smile appears on her face.

"Liss, why didn't you tell me?" Christian asks after he pulls away.

She takes her hand to her belly and gently rubs it. "I wanted it to be a surprise. And to be sure that nothing is wrong. You know that…"

In response, he kisses her forehead and tells her that he loves her. My heart fills with joy at their sight. They are so happy together. Why did this accident have to happen? They don't deserve to deal with this shit.

We don't get the chance to talk with her about what happened because some cops come to talk question her. We remain there and hear their conversation.

"And how did you manage to get into that pillar, Miss Dragomir? Did someone cut in on you? If so, it would help us if you remember the car's number."

"No. That didn't happen."

"Then?"

"As I was driving, I saw that the brake pedal didn't function." my eyes widen and I look at her. What did she just say? The car was broken? This can't be. It worked perfectly as I was driving it earlier this day. How did that happen? "I was driving quite slowly as I always do, so hitting that pillar was the only thought that came into my mind to make the car stop. I panicked and I found the only logical way at that time. The only solution to stop without hurting anyone else too. And thank God I was into a safe car." She says and looks at me smiling.

I don't hear the rest of the conversation. I just take in this information. The brake pedal wasn't working. The car was broken. And she had this accident because of me. I am the one who gave her the keys. It should have been _me_ into that car. I was the one who had to have this accident. Tears begin to form at the back of my eyes and I blink them away as best as I can. This is my fault. So many bad things could have happened today because of me.

After the cops go, I get close to her and I tell her that I am profoundly sorry. I swear I will never forgive myself for this.

But she just smiles lightly and pats my cheek. "Rose, don't be so silly. You didn't have any idea that the car was broken. It could have happened to anyone." yeah, but it happened to her, and it happened because of me. I gave her the keys. It's the same as pushing her off a cliff.

I get out of the room, letting Lissa have a little alone time with Christian, and head towards the bathroom to wash my face in order to get rid of the burning sensation of wanting to cry, as guilt fills my whole being.

When I am about to turn around the corner, I hear the two cops from earlier speaking and I stop just before they could see me, eavesdropping to what they are talking.

"But what was she doing into Belikov's car?"

"That Dragomir girl is his girlfriend's friend or something. But this doesn't matter very much now. The more important question is who cut the brakes. I hope that we would get a positive on that fingerprint they found. Otherwise, this case will be a big pain in the ass."

"Yeah, that's true. Considering who he is, it could be anybody. People like him have lots of enemies. Has someone reached him yet?"

And as I hear that, I zone out and I have to lean into the wall just to keep myself steady. Someone _cut_ the brakes? On purpose. Who would do a thing like that? Were they going after Dimitri? No, they weren't. They could have done this last week or any other day. So it had to be me the one who should have suffered the accident. And as I have driven the car to Lissa's place, it was perfectly fine until I got there. I am one hundred percent sure about that. So that someone must have cut the breaks after I got there.

Anger fills me all of a sudden. Those two bastards are responsible for this, I am absolutely sure. No one has something with me, except for them. But how twisted are they? How far are they willing to get this thing? I mean, would you ever want to kill someone? How cruel could someone be in order to want to kill someone? Did I do so much wrong to them? I didn't do anything in fact! Gosh, this thing has gotten way too far.

They were coming after me and Lissa got caught in this situation without her will. God, will she ever forgive me for putting her and her baby in such great danger? Because I have to tell her the truth. If she would find later from someone else, she would hate me for keeping this from her. I get back into Lissa's room and I ask Christian to leave us alone for some minutes. I know that he would want to snap my neck for what I am going to say next. But he'll find out eventually. After Lissa and I remain alone, I tell her everything that happened lately, from the man's call that evening to the conversation of the cops. The response she gives to me is a blessing.

"Rose, I am not mad at you. Not at all. You _didn't know_ , okay? It's not like you cut the brakes. And I am happy that it was me driving when this happened." I frown. How can she say this? "Really." She says smiling lightly and taking my hand into hers. "I think that if it were you things might have gone much worse. I mean, you know how you drive, right?" we both chuckle. "And I can't afford to lose you, Rose. I can't afford to lose anyone anymore." God, me either. I can't imagine my life without her.

After this, I find the courage to tell to Christian the same story, on the hallway. He needs to know too how sorry I am for this. In response he sighs deeply and simply tells me with a harsh voice, his eyes full of darkness and his jaw tight: "You are _very_ lucky that both of them are alright, Rose. Otherwise…" and he sighs again, shaking his head, and then just goes back into Lissa's room, without ending that sentence. Not that it would have been necessary. And I am indeed lucky. Because I don't think that I could ever live with myself if things would have happened differently today.

* * *

Around midnight Lissa convinces me that everything is alright with her and that it is okay for me to go home and maybe get some rest myself. She practically would push me out the door if she would be allowed to get out the bed. I didn't really want to leave, but I thought that the both of them needed some time alone to deal with this whole thing and I was just getting in the way. So I let them alone. They need each other right now. And I take a cab and head home where I will get to be alone with my dark thoughts for a long time.

Gosh, I have never thought that Tasha and that man would get this far and they would try to actually kill me, despite all their full of anger threats. Things have gone way too far for me to cope with them alone. I never thought that they would be this dangerous. What are those bastards going to do next, now that their attempt to kill me didn't go as planned? Are they going to try again? As I walk inside our building, I pull my coat around me as tight as possible, trying to shake away the fear in my chest. How would it be to have to watch over your shoulder every second of the day? I don't want to live my life in fear.

I open the front door and Dimitri's familiar scent greets me. The clench in my heart softens a little. He came home early. He's here. I won't have to be alone tonight, thank God.

I want to be close to him as soon as possible and I try to rush into our bedroom but I physically can't. I can barely keep myself on my feet, that tired I feel. I am completely drained of energy. So I slowly head to our bedroom and open the door. And there I find him, sleeping on the gigantic bed, without any worry. For now. Because what I have to tell him is big. So big that he might get so upset on me I won't be able to take it.

He must have been waiting for me, as he is wearing a pair of jeans and a T-shirt instead of his pyjamas, the lamp is turned on and one of his westerns is lying open next to him.

I sit on the floor and take off my shoes and let them lay there. And I begin to cry, hot tears falling silently on my cheeks. I can't help myself and I can't stop them. I tried to keep myself together while I was with Lissa and Christian back at the hospital, but now, seeing him, I simply break down. It's all too much for me. Why does this thing have to be so complicated? Why can't they just leave us alone to live in peace? We just want to be together. Is that such a bad thing?

I get up and slowly make my way to the bed, and I gently lay myself next to him and put my head on his chest. God, I missed him so much. As I feel him under me I let out a sigh and some more of the tension in me dissipates. He is here with me. I am no longer alone. And everything is alright when he is around. It always has been and this time won't be different.

I sit there on his chest that is lifting and sinking rhythmically, feeling his t-shirt getting wetter and wetter under my cheek, but I just can't stop crying! I brush my nose along his shoulder, taking in his familiar scent, trying to calm myself, but nothing works.

And I feel his palm on my back, brushing up and down on my spine lightly. Oh, gosh. I woke him up. _Nice job Rose. You can't even let him sleep in peace for once._

"Hey." He says into a sleepy voice. "Where have you been for so long? I tried to call you but you didn't respond." Yeah, in my rush, I left my phone at Lissa's apartment.

I shift my head's position, looking down, so he won't see me. I am such a mess in this moment. He cups my cheek with his palm and tries to lift my head because he knows I am awake too, but he stumbles just over my wet skin.

"Roza?" he says waking up completely and his tone shifts to worried. "Are you crying? What's the matter, milaya?" I bury my face in his chest and let it all out, crying with sobs and whimpers as I clutch his T-shirt into my fist, holding on to him.

He gets up and lifts me off him too, breaking the contact between us. And he looks at me bewildered. This must be so weird for him. When we last spoke on the phone everything was okay and I was happily telling him that I am going to meet Lissa and Christian today. Well, at least from what I told him, he knew everything was alright. I tried not to tell him anything until he would come back, so he has no idea what happened here for the last couple of days. He must be so confused right now as he sees me breaking down like this.

"What's wrong? Why are you crying? Are you alright?" he asks cupping my face and wiping my tears away.

I shake my head no and plant my face into his chest and cry my lungs out some more. There is nothing alright now. He encircles me with his arms tightly and soothes my hair.

"Tell me what's wrong, Roza. I can't do anything if you don't tell me. Tell me so I could help you."

"Make them _stop_. _Please_." I say between sobs.

"Who? Make who stop? What are you talking about?"

"Tasha and- and that man. They, they…Lissa." I whimper remembering her in the hospital bed.

"What happened to her? Is she alright?"

I nod. "But she… she crashed with the Rolls and it is because of _me_ because _I_ gave her the keys and they cut the brakes and it was supposed to be _me_ and she went to the market and she couldn't stop the car and she crashed into a pillar and she is pregnant and she broke her arm and it had to be me. _God_. They were trying to get to me and she was in the car, Dimitri. But it was supposed to be me driving that damn car and she could have died and I should have been in there not her and she is at the hospital and she doesn't hate me but she should because she has nothing to do with this and it is all my fault that she got hurt and… and Christian .."

"Rose, hey. Let's calm down, okay? You make no sense. I don't understand anything you're trying to tell me."

I rise and look him into the calmness of his eyes. I take deep breaths and stop myself from crying. Fine, I'll start from the beginning.

"Do you remember _that_ call?"

"Yes, Rose. And I told you, I took care of it."

"I don't know what you did and I don't really know if I want to know, but it didn't work. At all. But I know who called. It's that man from Moscow. The one that did all those things to me." his expression fills with surprise at my words.

"How do you know that?"

"It all makes sense. And I recognized his voice." He nods. "And I am telling you Dimitri that he is behind all of this. Him and-"

"But I told you I personally took care of him and Victor wouldn't bothe-"

"You knew it was him all along?" he nods, looking some kind of embarrassed. Oh, so I wasn't the only one keeping things for myself. I bet he did it so that he wouldn't bother me, just like I did. This thing would be funny if things wouldn't have gotten this far. "Is that that bastard's name?"

"Yes. Victor Dashkov."

"Well, this _Victor_ and Tasha have other plans."

"Wait, what does Tasha have to do with this entire thing? I talked with her that night." He stops for a second considering things before speaking again. "She said-…. And then…" he stops again and has some kind of revelation and laughs lightly while shaking his head. "Of course she-"

But I don't let him finish. I get out of bed and bring him the envelope with the photos. He looks at them and the confusion only grows in his eyes as he reads the little note. I tell him about my encounter with her that evening and the conversation we had the other night on the phone.

"Why didn't you tell me about this earlier?" his voice sounds hurt.

"I don't know, Dimitri." And I pass my fingers along his cheek. "I just didn't want to bother you with this and you were so stressed out lately and I didn't want you to worry some more without a good reason. I saw that you got affected too after that fucking call, even though you didn't want me to see it. And after I talked with her that evening, she didn't do anything. Until now. But I thought that I could deal with this on my own, that things won't get this far. I thought that she will eventually give up. But it seems that I couldn't deal with it. It got way over my capacities. Everything did. Like, really, who would think about killing someone? Who would go that far? Maybe she just wanted to scare me really bad, but she, she almost killed Lissa today. _God_. I am so sorry Dimitri. Please don't be mad at me. I just thought that it won't get this bad but after I saw that she followed you around I wanted to tell you. I swear. But not on the phone. When you were going to come back I would have told you everything. All of it. Please don't be mad at me. I didn't want to keep this from you but I didn't want you to worry."

"It's fine. I understand." He says taking my hand into his. Yeah, but he is upset, I can feel it. And he has the right to be upset. "Is there something else I should know about?" Ugh! Please don't be mad at me, I am so sorry. God, why couldn't I have just told him everything from the beginning? Maybe things wouldn't have gotten this far if he would have known.

"No. This is everything I know and everything that happened. Please, don't think that I didn't trust you. I trust you with all my heart but I just thought that things won't get this far. I am so sorry. I didn't want you to worry for nothing."

"Roza, it's fine." He says and takes me into his embrace. "I am not a saint either. I kept that Victor thing from you too. But from now on, everything that happens, you tell me, okay? So that we'll deal with it together." I nod and he kisses my forehead. "Now tell me. Is Lissa fine?"

"Yes, she is. But she is going to have a _baby_ , Dimitri. Nine weeks old. And she could have lost him, all because of _me_. What if she would have lost the baby? Oh, God, I can't think about this."

"Rose, this thing is _not_ your fault."

"It _is_. It should have been _me_ driving that car, Dimitri. They were after _me_ and Lissa got caught up in between. What if she would have died?"

"But she didn't. And you are safe too. And this is everything that matters right now. That nothing bad happened to anyone."

"What are we going to do now, Dimitri? What if they are not going to stop? What are they going to do next? What can we really do to stop them?"

 **DPOV begins**

This story has gotten way too far. The things got out of my hand while I was gone. Not that I really had much control over them before either, but I was handling them somehow. Now, they just exploded into the worst way possible. As I was missing, all these things happened and Rose had to deal with them alone because she didn't want me to worry. But if I think better, I did the same thing to her, in my attempt to keep her away as much as I could from this situation. If I only would have been here with her, maybe none of this would have happened. And so many bad things could have happened.

I still couldn't find Tasha and I imagined that she did what she always does when she is upset, leaving for some time without no one knowing where and then coming back and acting like nothing happened and I thought that I will deal with her when she will come back. For the moment, I managed to find that bastard and negotiated with him to leave us alone. I know people like him and they often only look for every situation in which they could get their hands on money and I gave him what he wanted to leave us alone. But it seems that he is very ungrateful that I didn't send him into the hospital the last time I saw him and he is going to pay for it. He lied to me to my face and I won't leave things like this.

I was a fool to think that they were going on their own and I dealt with the most dangerous one first as I know that Tasha is not that dangerous on her own, but it seems that they have come together to do bad. They saw the opportunity and took advantage of it in the worst way possible.

And the thing that is killing me is that I can't do anything about it. Now I don't know where any of them is as Victor promised to leave the county after he got what he needed. But it seems he didn't do that for a long time. And who knows where they are now and what they plan to do next? I am not used with not knowing what is going to happen next. I am not used with not having things under control. But when it comes to Roza, when it comes to everything about us, there is nothing that is under control. Not ever since I have met her. She has me under some spell, but this doesn't bother me. I don't mind losing control when I am with her. What is driving me insane is that I can't do anything about these two people who are trying to mess with her. I have no control over that and this thing is maddening.

But I will search under every rock to put my hands on them. They wanted to hurt Rose. No, they wanted to kill her. I can't imagine living without her. And they will pay for this. Messing with me, okay, I get it; they wouldn't be the first ones to want to do so. But Rose? No, they can't do this to her.

From nowhere, a strange thought passes through my brain. What if Rose would leave me? What if I am going to lose her because of these people and there is nothing that I would be able to do about it? What if they get too far before I can do something about it and she just decides that she can't be with me anymore? But I swear that I'll better live alone and unhappy than to know that she is hurting. I would better not have her at all if that would mean that she would be safe and sound. I wouldn't bear the thought of her hurting like that. It kills me seeing her hurting like this.

 **DPOV ends**

"They will stop somehow. I will make sure of this. They will stop." He begins to soothe my hair. "I'm sorry that you had to get through all this alone. I should have been here."

"Hey, don't say that. You didn't have any idea that this would happen. And you are here now."

We simply stay there for a while. It feels so safe to be into his arms. And the longer I stay there, the better I feel and I get reassured that things will get to be good in the end.

"Rose?"

"Huh?"

"Why are your clothes so wet?"

"Oh. I totally forgot about that. I bumped into a nurse carrying a tray with soup. I should get changed." and I break contact between us.

"Let's get you a bath."

"No, it's okay. I don't have the energy anyway. I'll just change and go back to the hospital a little later."

But he picks me up and gets me to the bathroom. "It can wait for a while. You should take some care of yourself too, Roza." He says as the water is filling the bathtub. He undresses me and I get in. But he doesn't do the same. And he doesn't leave me alone either. Instead, he takes the shampoo and gently massages my head.

"I can do that, you don't have to bother."

"No. You just relax, okay? I'll take care of it." and I don't argue with him. I feel like shit anyway.

Then, he proceeds to rub slowly the skin on my legs with the vanilla scented gel. His circular movements on my skin are so calming. He gets to the soles of my feet and applies pressure just under my toes. Gosh, that feels so good and makes my body relax even more. Then, he comes closer to me and massages my arms and the water drips on his T-shirt and jeans. I take the hair out of the way to give him access to my back and he massages my neck with his strong hands, until the tension in my body disappears completely. I feel sleepy and all I want to do is to lay down next to him and never ever get up. Then he comes to my side, sitting on his hams and gently caresses my face. I prop my chin on the edge of the bathtub and look into his warm eyes.

"Why aren't you mad at me, Dimitri?"

"Do I have any reason to be?"

"Yeah, you do. I mean, I didn't-"

"Roza, I have no reason to be mad at you."

"But I didn't-"

"No. I am glad that everything is fine, that nothing happened to you." He says and drags me closer to him and I bury my face into the crook of his neck.

I get crying once more as we sit embraced. "I am sorry for not telling you."

He pulls away and looks at me. "I am not mad at you Rose."

"Gosh, I thought I could deal with this on my own, but they are just so…so…I don't know. Gosh, I just want them to leave us alone." And I get crying even harder.

He cups my cheeks. "Please don't cry anymore, milaya. We will find a way. And everything will be alright. We'll go to the police in the morning and tell them everything. And we'll deal with it."

* * *

Things go great for Lissa. Well, as great as they can go. She and the baby are in no danger and in two days she gets back home. But the rest is not that nice for any of us.

The cops question everybody about everything. To our luck, they managed to identify that damn print as Victor's and now they want to know everything about our connection with that man and about the accident. Do you know this man? Where did you meet him? Have you ever talked to him? Why did Dimitri give his car away? Do you know why he left the country? Where did he go? Why were you driving that car? Why did she give you the car keys? Why would that man cut the brakes? Did he have any reason to? Did something happen between the two of you? Does he have any reason to hurt you?

Of course, Lissa and Christian have nothing to do with this, they don't really have any fault, but they got dragged into the process without their will. And we all answer those questions until we get sick of them and we tell them everything that those two motherfuckers did to us until now in the hopes that they will get their punishment.

But it's not like all this questioning shit about Victor would really matter. The only important thing is that that bastard wanted to kill me and hurt Lissa in the process. Period. The only thing they have to do is to put him behind bars or beat the shit out of him. I am okay with both. Maybe they _should_ do both. I wish they would do both. And that bitch Tasha. I am more than sure that she is the one who planned all of this and he is just the man who executed it. But unfortunately, Tasha's prints are nowhere to be found. There is nothing that could link her to this accident. So this means no punishment for her.

The cops make us come to the police station to identify Victor and to press some charges. This whole thing lasted only for one week, thank God. The police move fast and this man is convicted to fifteen years of prison, without any parole. Too little from my point of view, but I'll take what I get. It's better this way than to know that he is roaming the streets freely.

And finally, we can breathe easy again. For some time at least because I know that Tasha is out there. And the thing that bothers me most is that Victor took all the guilt on him, out of some twisted feelings for her. She fooled him big time and he said no word about her implication into this shit. He even denied knowing her. And the four of us know that that is total bullshit. But as long as he doesn't speak, Tasha is a free woman. No one can touch her. But maybe like this, seeing him being punished for his actions, she will see that things have gotten way too far and she will fucking stop if she values her freedom.

* * *

But just when you think that things would get to get better, they don't. It's not always as easy as you think it would be. Of course it's not. Why would it be?

Three days after Victor goes to prison, Dimitri gets a phone call. And after he hangs up his whole mood changes. He zones out a couple of times, doesn't respond when I call his name and he loses his appetite. He is now just staring at nothing as he is mushing his food.

"Dimitri?" his head moves in my direction, giving me his attention. "Dimitri, what happened?"

"Nothing."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Then what was I speaking about for the last five minutes?"

"Um..you were talking about um..that thing.."

"Yeah, as I thought.'

"I'm sorry. I wasn't paying attention."

"No really? Now tell me what is bothering you. Who called you? You seem off since then." And he looks at me, not being really willing to tell me. "What happened with us telling each other everything?"

He sighs. "It was Victor." wow, I didn't expect this.

 _"That_ Victor?" he nods. "What did he want?"

"He wants me to go see him."

"Why?"

"I don't know. He said that he wants to speak with me."

"And are you going to go?"

"I guess I am. I want to know what he has to say. Maybe…"

"Then I am going with you."

"No, Rose."

"Um, I wasn't asking, Dimitri. If you go, I am coming with you."

"But-"

"No buts. I am coming with you and this is final."


	43. Chapter 43

**Hey guys! Sorry that today I updated later than I usually do, but my laptop is quite a pain in the ass these days and kept on shutting down and I swear I was so close to throw it out the window**

 **But here it is, the new chapter.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **And have a nice weekend!**

 **Lots of love! :)**

* * *

Dimitri has no chance of getting rid of me. And no matter what reasons for me not to go with him he brings into the discussion, I am not changing my mind. So, the next day in the morning we head towards the prison. It takes us some time to get there, and this only means that I have enough time to think about shit. What on earth would Victor want from Dimitri now? Didn't he do enough harm already? Can't he just accept the defeat and feels the need to talk some more shit? Well, we are on our way to find out.

Finally, Dimitri pulls up in front of the prison and we get out of the car. Here we go. Let's face this motherfucker.

Just before going in, he stops me and rounds his palms on my hips, pulling me close to him and leaning his forehead on mine. "Are you sure you want to go in, Rose?" this is his last attempt of making me give up on my decision.

I smile. "Are _you_ going in?"

"Yes."

"Then I am going in with you, comrade."

He sighs at my stubbornness and then kisses my nose. "Fine. Let's go then."

We pass through all the procedures and after we are declared harmless, a guard takes us to some room where Victor is waiting for us, sitting at a table, being dressed into a black-and-white-striped uniform, dismissing all my TV shows preconceptions about orange uniforms. He has his hands cuffed (and it brings me so much pleasure to see him like this) and his face has lost all that cockiness that I was used to seeing, now his eyes being sunken into the orbits and his face unshaved. It seems that prison time is not doing much good to this bastard and oh, it is only the beginning of it.

But I didn't expect us to meet him into such a private environment. I didn't know you can do that. Weren't we supposed to talk on one of those phones? Well, I guess this may be some of Dimitri's doing. Before entering, I take a deep breath in and try to manage my nerves. Let's see how long this will last.

When he hears the door opening, Victor lifts his head and when he sees us, that fucker smiles. He has the insolence to smile! Oh, I can feel the anger rising in me. Then, his whole attention turns to me.

"Oh, hello, Rose. I didn't expect to see you today. Such a nice thing to honor me with your charming personality today." and he shows us the two chairs in front of him, but neither of us is willing to go and sit and our refusal brings a disappointed expression on his face.

I roll my eyes. "Cut the crap, Victor. And stop this pretending you're so nice. We are not here for your shitty talking. Get to the point."

And he smiles again. Pff, this man surely is twisted. "How is your friend feeling? I hope she is fine. What about her baby?" he speaks innocently, and out the window goes my self-control.

"You fucking bastard!" I yell and head his way, but Dimitri holds me by my hand, not letting me get close to him. How come he is so composed?

"Yeah, Belikov, keep your woman steady. This bitch surely needs some more training."

"Just say that again and you are going to regret it really bad." Dimitri says and his tone is scaring me, that cold it sounds.

"Tell us what the fuck do you want." I get to the point fast. There is no point in us playing around with useless talking.

He sighs and waves his hand around. "Well, since my plan didn't go as I wished, I wanted to-"

"As _you_ wished? Really? No help from Tasha? I highly doubt it."

"Yeah, _my_ plan only. I don't even know any Tasha." he says shrugging and trying to seem innocent again. It still annoys me very much that he is protecting her.

"You mother-"

"Hey, would you shut the hell up? I wanted to talk with Belikov. You weren't included in this meeting you little b-"

"Don't talk like that with her." Dimitri stops him and gets close to the table, leaning over it, with his palms propped on the sides of it.

I shut up and give him harsh glares from the other side of the room. Fine. Let' let the men talk.

"What do you want?" Dimitri asks.

And Victor begins to speak in Russian. Oh, just perfect! Does everybody around except for me know it? And Dimitri continues the conversation into the same language. I so hate so much to be left aside. I even hear my name a few times and the curiosity to know what they are talking about is killing me.

 **DPOV begins**

"What do I want? Oh, that's very simple. I want to see both of you dead."

"Too bad. You'll never live to see that day."

And he shrugs. "Well, at least I tried. You know, Belikov? It's such a pity that no one died in that car accident. At least the girl that was driving the car could have made my day better and die. Like that, your precious little Rose would have suffered horribly. They are very close, no? And at least I could have gotten to prison for some good reason."

"But as you always do, you failed." his lips curl just like he has tasted something sour. So, the truth really hurts, no? "And I will make sure you rot in here, listen to my words. The only way you are going to get out of here is going to be into a coffin."

He mimics a shocked expression. "Oh, I am _so_ scared. You don't intimidate me Belikov."

"Maybe you are not," even though I doubt it. I have enough influence around here to make sure I will keep on to my promise and he knows it very well. And I will do it, this is for sure. "But what I am at least sure of is that your accomplice will get scared without you to protect her ass or to take the hits for her." His face changes, but he doesn't respond. "When she comes around here, tell her to back down or she will end up just like you. Or worse. I mean what I say and you know it. I will find her and she will regret everything she did. She will lose everything if she continues like this."

But he changes the subject. "You know what I regret the most?" I simply grab the edges of the table and squeeze until I don't feel my fingers. I get a feeling I will not like at all what comes next. "I regret not doing things my way, Belikov."

"Your way? Didn't you say that there was no one involved? That it was entirely your plan? How could things have been made other way rather than your way?" maybe I can make him say her name. Just once. That's all it takes.

"Try all the way you want. I am not going to say her name. And we won't stop until you kiss your pretty girl goodbye. Or at least I know I will not stop. Not that I would have a bone to pick with her; beautiful Rose over there-" he says grinning.

"Don't you even dare look at her." I distract his attention before his eyes shift on her and he laughs under his breath.

"As I was saying. She didn't do anything to me personally, but if by hurting her I would get to you, so be it. Do you want to know what I would have done instead of the accident thing?"

"It doesn't matter. You can't do anything from here. Now you have even less power out there than you had before you were brought here. And from what I remember, you don't have any money either, so how could you do something? Plus, what you already did, failed." I keep on hitting that sore spot and he gets a displeased expression again. "You will die in here thinking every single day that you couldn't accomplish your plan. That you failed all over again. Admit it, it's what you're good at."

But he ignores completely what I said. "Oh, I so wanted to have fun with your little precious Rose." He pushes things further in the wrong direction and my head begins to cloud with anger. "I wanted to take her as you were gone, you know? But she didn't agree with me. There were so many other possibilities. Pleasurable ones, of course, but she resumed to a car accident. Tragic, but still. It would have been a fast thing. But God, there were _so many_ things I could have done to her, you know?"

I take in a deep breath and hold it in until my chest starts hurting and then let it out slowly as this bastard is watching me calmly. "Shut up."

He grins and continues. "She surely has an amazing body naked, right? It's not hard to imagine what she is hiding under all these clothes. And I wanted to do my ways with her ever since I met her."

"I am going to _kill_ you if you don't shut the fuck up!"

"Over and over and over and over again." He says slowly, emphasizing every word. "Make her scream in pleasure. I am sure that she would have enjoyed me better than you, Belikov. After all, I am more experienced than you…"

He cannot continue speaking like that about Rose. But he doesn't stop talking, coming with explicit content. So this is it. Something in me snaps and I see red before my eyes.

 **DPOV ends**

"Hey! Keep it to English." I say a couple of times, but no one listens to me. They seem to have forgotten about my presence in here and both get heated up in a matter of seconds and exchange harsh words, as I can understand from their tones.

I don't know how much this verbal exchange goes on for, but I can see that Dimitri tenses up big time, comparing to Victor, who is inexplicably calm. But oh, God, Dimitri is going to snap, I can feel it. It's definitely in the air. This reminds me of that time I had to present that shit in front of his other employees, but now it is ten, no, let me be more correct. A hundred times worse. And what I expected to happen happens and he does snap as Victor is telling him something with a wide grin on his face. It all happens so fast and Dimitri simply throws himself at Victor and after he bangs his head on the table with a loud thud, he punches him a few times and gets him on the ground along with his char, before four guards manage to take him off that bastard. We exit that room and Victor is only laughing maniacally as the door closes behind us.

They make us leave the place after this incident. We get out without much fuss and get into the car without saying a word to each other, letting the silence calm the angry feelings in our chests. But the hell if I am not going to find out what they spoke about. It concerns me too, for fuck's sake. We sit in silence until I hear Dimitri's breath steadying and then I turn towards him and get speaking.

"Dimitri, tell me what that man said." he looks at me but doesn't reply and gets out his keys. Oh, hell no. I snatch the keys from him and keep them into my fisted palm. "Listen to me. We are _not_ leaving this place until you tell me. I mean it."

"Roza." he says and it comes out as a sigh. I know how tired of this shit he is, I am too, but we need to face this shit together. I am not going to let him keep it from me, no matter how bad it is.

"No. Don't you Roza me, Dimitri. I want to know and you will tell me." he still doesn't cooperate, just watches me. " _Fine_. Fine. We'll get old into this damn car then." I say and put the keys into my purse.

He exhales slowly and turns into his seat to face me. "He said that he regrets it wasn't you in that car." well, tell me something new. It was me they were after after all. "And that he wishes that at least Lissa died so that you would suffer." my jaw clenches so hard it begins to hurt. "And that he won't stop until he takes you away from me."

"Yeah? And how does he plan to do that from behind bars? He won't be able to do shit." well, this could still happen through Tasha, but I shake this thought out of my mind. I try to convince myself that she will stop. I bet she values her freedom. "What else?"

"Nothing."

I throw his a suspicious glance. "Yeah, _sure_. From these two sentences, you threw yourself at his neck, right? He told you so much more than this. Tell me or we don't leave this place soon."

"He said some things about you. About what he wanted to do to you. He-" he fists his palms and his jaw clenches. Okay, I don't think I would like to hear what that man would do to me. I think that my imagination is enough. And seeing how Dimitri reacted to his words, I guess it is not some pleasant things Victor was talking about.

"Hey" I take his hand into mine and he unclenches it, entangling his fingers with mine. It has some blood on it. I hope it only belongs to that fucker. "Nothing will happen, right? He can't do anything to us. Not anymore, no? And neither does Tasha now that she is alone." I hope with all my being that she doesn't. "So everything is fine now, no?"

He takes my hand and he kisses it. "Yes. Everything is fine now."

I smile. "Good. Now let's go home."

* * *

On our way home, an idea comes into my mind. After the shit that happened today, we should detach and do something together and I surely know what.

"Hey, comrade. What do you say about a little detour from our road?"

"Where?"

"To the market."

"You feel like eating something?"

"Not really. I was thinking that we could cook something together."

As we are at a red light, he turns his head in my direction, smiling. "Together? Like, letting you touch anything in the kitchen?"

I squint my eyes at him and he smiles some more. "Hey! It only happened once and I fell asleep as that shit was in the oven, okay?"

He gets a serious expression. "Sure, of course, Rose. I heard that that is the new excuse if you are a terrible cook."

My jaw drops. "You _didn't_ say that."

He gets driving again. "Didn't I?" he asks smiling again. Oh, he likes teasing me with this thing. "I think I actually did."

"Fine, comrade. Then I will prove you wrong."

"How?"

"Simple. I will cook for you tonight."

"Will you?" he asks raising an eyebrow, fucking with me some more. "That seems like a very bad idea. Don't you think so?" he continues with the teasing.

I round my arms over my chest and puff. "Just make sure you get to that market before we get home, okay?"

He laughs lightly and unfolds my arms and takes my hand into his. "Do I get to watch?"

"Maybe." I say trying to pretend I am upset.

"Will you make that thing I like?"

I look at him and smile. Of course I am going to cook that thing he likes. I love hearing him asking for seconds.

"Then it's a double win situation for me here. I get to watch you cook and to eat your most fantastic chili? You could poison me tonight and I will die a happy man." he says and kisses my hand. Oh, isn't he good at fixing things?

* * *

After the stop at the market, we get home and he waits for me into the kitchen as I change into something more comfortable. And finally, I make my way into the kitchen, wearing only one of his T-shirts and a pair of lacy underwear, chosen on purpose, just to tease him. It's my turn now.

I get all the things I need and he watches me as I do my thing.

"What happened?" I ask trying to seem innocent.

He smiles. "Is that what you are going to wear?"

As I get a knife to chop the pepper, I take a look down at myself. "Yeah. Why? Is there something wrong with what I am wearing?"

He gets up from the chair he was sitting on and comes behind me. "Not at all." he whispers in my ear. "It's just that it's really tempting." he says as he places his palms on my ribs and then walks them slowly down on my body until he reaches my hips and goes further, getting them under the T-shirt and lightly stroking my ass.

I get a serious expression and look at him. "Hey. No distracting me, comrade. I am cooking here."

He chuckles and kisses my neck, then places his palms over mine and we chop the pepper together, his hand guiding mine.

"What are you doing here, comrade?"

"Well. you seem to need some help here Roza." I chuckle and turn my head to one side to give him a little kiss.

And everything is fine. Really fine. We end up cooking together, we have a nice dinner and then we watch a movie cuddled on the sofa. And this closeness to him makes up for all the bad that happened today.

Until we get to bed that night. Because after I lay next to him, he says the most stupid thing that I have ever heard in my entire life.

He is playing with my hair and we kiss a couple of times until he ruins everything when he opens his mouth. "Roza, I won't blame you if you would decide to leave me."

I raise my head from his chest and look at him puzzled. I get a brain freeze as I try to process his words.

"What the _fuck_ did you just say?" I am already pissed off big time. How can he even think about saying that shit?

"That I won't blame-"

"Yeah, I already heard that." I cut him short fast. "I was just giving you the chance to change your fucking words." I take a deep breath just to keep myself calm. "Dimitri, are you on drugs or something? Did you hit your head?"

"No, Rose. I am serious." and really. He is not trying to fuck with me.

I laugh. "Oh, you are _serious_. What was I thinking? And why the hell would I ever _want_ to do that?"

"Because of all the things that happened lately." we are now both sitting on the bed and he caresses my cheek lightly.

I pull my face out of the way. "Oh, so when things get hard I should just leave you, right? Should I be with you only when it is convenient? Only when things are good?"

"No, I just thought-"

"What did you _think_ , Dimitri? I guess that in fact, you didn't think at all. I love you and what happened didn't change that. Not even a bit. I am not with you just because things are good and when something bad happens I just flee." I take the closest pillow I find and throw it at him. "This is the _stupidest_ thing that you ever said to me, Dimitri."

He catches it before hitting him into the face and sets it aside. "But with what happened today I thought-"

"You thought _wrong_. I am not like that. Nothing they would do would make me love you less. Not to speak about leaving you."

"But that is not what I was trying to say, Roza. You got me wrong. The thing is that I don't want you to get hurt again. And by bei-"

"Fine! _Fine_." I say as I get up, go to the closet and grab a blanket.

"What are you doing?"

"I am breaking up with you." I say as I take my pillow too.

"What do you mean?"

" _Exactly_ what I said. Isn't this what you told me earlier? And you even said that you wouldn't mind."

"Roza, don't be like that, please."

"No, Dimitri. You asked for this."

He sighs. "But where are you going now?"

"Well, I have no other place to spend the night. So I am going to sleep on the couch."

"Roza, come on."

"Nope. I am doing it."

"At least stay here. I'll go." he says and wants to get off the bed.

"No." I don't think I'll be able to do this thing if I would be close to his pillow and feel his scent all night long. "Just stay in here and think about the shit you just spoke. _Fucking unbelievable_." I say shaking my head as I close the door behind me.

Gosh, how can he even think about this? I plop on the sofa with my hands crossed, feeling like crying, but I don't do it. Ugh, I want so much to punch him!

About five minutes later, the door of our bedroom opens.

"Just go back in there, Dimitri. I am still upset. _Very_ upset. So let me be for now. I am not forgiving you that easily." I hear the wooden floor making a little squeaking sound as he probably wants to get out the room. "You are coming in here at your own risk. Think twice before coming here. You might piss me off even more with what you might say and I won't be responsible for the things I will do. So get your ass in there and don't come near me soon or you'll regret it."

He just sits there, in the door frame probably, for some seconds, not doing anything.

"Milaya..."

"I totally mean it, Dimitri. Just let me be tonight. I really don't want to speak with you about this now. Let me calm down so I won't be sorry later for the things I might say to you."

He makes the right decision and gets back in. I look at the white ceiling until I finally fall asleep.

* * *

When I wake up, I find myself in our bed. What he did is more than nice, but well, I don't know what he is expecting, but this thing won't make me forgive him more easily for saying that bullshit. I have decided that I am going to give him the silent treatment until he will regret even thinking about saying those damn words. I am very mad at him and he must know that. So I am going to tease the shit out of him until he feels sorry for saying that thing. It's the only thing I know will drive him crazy. And it's one of the things I do best. And I start my plan the first thing in the morning.

I undress completely and I enter the bathroom as I hear that he is already in there. When he sees me, he puts down his toothbrush and tries to touch my hand. I slap it before he gets to touch me. He seems very confused by my response.

"Rose, wh-"

"No touching." are the only words that I say (without being obliged by someone's presence later) to him for almost three days. He is the only one who speaks.

I get past him and enter the shower, being careful to leave the shower door open so that he could see me perfectly. And each time he tries to say something, I cut him short, until I make him leave the bathroom.

When I am ready to go to work, he stops me and tells me that he is taking me to work. I shake my head no and get out the door. I don't let him take me home either.

Today I have especially put on a very short skirt and as I am into his office to deliver a file, I pretend that I drop it and I bend down right in front of him, giving him a nice view of my ass. He growls as he sees me. Good, exactly the reaction that I wanted. I get up and out the door without giving him a chance to speak. This will annoy him even more.

When he gets home, after me, he finds me walking around the house semi-naked, dressed in only a translucent tank top and a pair of lacy panties. I make sure that I get past him for as many times as I can, close enough, but never touching him. He seems pretty frustrated about this. Yeah, he should be. Maybe he doesn't realize, but it is harrowing for me too not to talk or feel him. But I must keep up to my decision for now.

And my teasing seems to be making its effect on him because as we are eating silently, he stops and looks at me. Well, he mostly stares at me until I lift my gaze and meet his. I watch him with a questioning look.

"Roza. I get it. I was very wrong to say that thing to you and I am sorry about it. I shouldn't have assumed such a thing about you. Can you at least talk with me? Tell me something. Tell me about how mad you are at me. Curse me. But say something. Anything." I smile because he apologized to me, but I shake my head no. Let him boil a little more. I get up and put my empty plate into the sink. "For how long are you going to punish me like this?" I turn to face him and this time I shrug. I don't know for how long I am going to keep on to this, but I am still a little upset and until that thing passes, I am not going to stop from doing the silent thing. He gets up too and comes in front of me, close enough for me to feel his breath on my cheek. I glue myself to the counter, trying to get away from him. He props a hand on the counter behind me and leans closer but we still don't touch. "Don't worry, Roza. I won't touch you if you don't want me to. I would never push you." he says and his mouth gets closer to my ear. "You are killing me, you know?" he whispers and takes in a deep breath, slowly moving his head upward. At this, I grin satisfied. It's what I was aiming for. "But I will take it. I know you have reasons to be upset with me." and it takes so much from me not to throw myself on him. We spend some more seconds like that, enjoying the closeness until I find the power to pull away.

* * *

On the second day, even though I have fallen asleep on the couch, keeping on to my stubbornness, I get up into our bed again, with no Dimitri in it. Well, at least, as he said, he respects my wish of not sleeping together or touching. He has already woken up and he is dressing into the room, and I take my time watching him sneakily as he is buttoning his shirt in front of the mirror, seeing the muscles under it moving slowly and I wish so bad to get up and go to him and kiss him and I really consider doing this. Until he speaks.

"Good morning, Roza." he says and I can see him through my almost shut eyes smiling lightly into the mirror, his eyes on me. I realize I have been caught red-handed and I decide to get further with my plan today too. I get up from the bed, pretty ashamed by what just happened and I head into the bathroom fast. I shouldn't be checking him out. I am supposed to be mad at him, no?

On this day, I have put on a nice shirt and I purposely unbutton too many of the buttons on it before I enter his office. And as I put his coffee on the table, I don't get to his side of the bureau, but I get in front of him, across the table and I lean over, making sure that I leave nothing to his imagination. Oh, and the look he gives to me. Good. Just a little longer.

I let him take me home today, but I place myself on the backseat of the car so that he could watch me into the mirror as I tease him some more. I might be starting to be a little mean now, but I just can't help it. And, as he is driving, I pretend that it is too hot in the car and I first take off my coat. Moving slowly, I go further and I unbutton three of the buttons on my shirt, revealing my bra and I pretend to wipe some imaginary sweat on my body, moving my fingers slowly across my skin, first on my neck, then heading slowly towards the space in between my breast, my breathing getting heavier, along with his as he is watching me touching myself at a red light. Next, I am taking things too far, I know it. But I still do it. As he is parking the car, I pull my skirt up and reach my hands for my panties and I slide them down slowly, my eyes carefully pinned on the mirror, watching him watching me. But what he does? He stops the car in the middle of one of the way and turns to watch me live, not through the mirror. I don't stop and as his eyes are pinned on my moving hands, I take the panties down and extend them to him. He raises an eyebrow questioningly and I keep my hand extended. He opens his hand in front of me and I let them drop into his palm, then I get out the car and head into the elevator to take me up to the apartment.

* * *

But the third day doesn't go as I initially planned. At least not the end of it, as the morning has followed the same routine as the other previous two.

I get home earlier than Dimitri as he had a meeting to attend and spared me of the torture of attending it too. And finally, the weekend has come. Gosh, I love Friday evenings. Especially Friday evenings spent with Dimitri. And I am planning to make him dinner and to let him know that I am not that upset anymore. But I still don't know if I should stop teasing him or not. I have come to enjoy this thing quite much these past three days.

As I am cooking, listening to my favorite music, someone knocks at the door. What, Dimitri? Did you forget your key? Highly improbable, because he is the one who left last the apartment today. Pff. I put the steak into the oven and get to the door. Well, at least as I will open the door, he will have a nice view as I am still wearing almost nothing and I will get to tease him some more.

And he is so impatiently pounding at the door. Oh, if he is so eager to get in, then why isn't he using his damn key? I put on my grumpy face and hastily open the door. But then my jaw drops as I don't see a long-haired tall Russian standing into the doorway.

" _Dad_?"


	44. Chapter 44

**This chapter is rated M, guys. Sorry for the late update again, but my laptop is still annoying as fuck,** **but I am trying my best to update on time.**

 **have a nice week!**

 **Lots of love! :***

* * *

" _Dad_?" oh, fuck! This is perfect. I am sure that mum sent him here to give me a piece of her mind as I am not answering her calls anymore. But what took him so long to come here? "Wha-"

"Kiz!" he says over-excitedly and hugs me. I guess that this meeting is a big surprise for both of us. "How is it going?" and he gives me one of his charming smiles, pretending that everything's perfect.

"Um...good. I'm good." for now at least. Until I hear what he has to say. I am sure that mum had enough time to fill his head with bullshit against Dimitri. "What are you doing here?"

"Nice greeting, Rose." he reminds me of the good manners I don't usually have and throws me a supposedly upset glance. "Won't you let your old man in? Not that I woul-"

"Oh, shit. Yeah, sure. Come in." I say and get out of the doorway, making him space to get in.

He smiles again and gets past me, entering the apartment. "And for the love of God, Rose, put on some clothes. It's not _that_ warm outside." he says looking around the hallway, probably already inspecting everything.

In my bewilderment of seeing him here, I forgot that I am only wearing panties and an almost transparent tank top. Oh, so this is why he was looking me only in the eyes. "Oh, fuck!" I hide myself behind the door but it's not really helping so I grab the first thing I find, one of Dimitri's hoodies and put it on, it covering me like some short dress. "Sorry for that but…" I didn't expect to see him here.

He turns and squints his eyes at me. "Language, Rose."

I wave my hand around. "Yeah, yeah, dad. But mom is not around so I can speak freely, can't I?"

He smiles accomplice. "Yeah, of course. You know that that thing got to be a habit of mine because of her." and I follow him as he is making his way into the living room, just like he would be a regular. He stops and looks at the three paintings on the wall, the job's habits kicking in.

I stop into the doorway of the living room, leaning over the frame and cross my arms, getting to serious stuff. "So dad, what are you doing here?"

Interrupting his admiration process, he turns his attention to me. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you this? What are you doing into a stranger's house?"

"Well dad, he is not a stranger. And don't pretend you don't already know because that would be practically impossible. I know mum informed you about everything. And it is even on the magazines so…"

"Fine, fine. You got me. Your mother told me this first thing I came back here. But I didn't know you moved in together already. Or are you just passing by? " he says seeming kind of upset. But I didn't inform my mother of that because I think she would have exploded. It would have been way too much for her.

I shift my weight from one foot to another. "Well, no. I am not just passing by. We kind of did move in together a while ago."

"Nice." he gives the verdict nodding, and looks around some more. "I like the apartment. He has some good taste."

"Aren't you mad I didn't tell you?"

"Why would I be? Should I be?"

"I don't know. I know mum would be."

"Well, maybe you should have told us, but it is not such a big deal in my opinion. You are a big girl and you are free to do whatever you want." wow; this conversation is totally unexpected. "As long as…"

"Yeah, I know. As long as I make sure nothing bad happens." this is the thing he always tells me. "And nothing bad will happen dad."

"Are you happy here kiz?" well, at least someone in my family is asking the right questions.

I smile widely. "Yes, I am."

"Good. That's perfect." he says and finally takes a seat on the sofa.

"So, now your turn. What are you doing here?" he keeps on avoiding answering my question, even though I already know its answer.

"Oh. I came to deliver something. Your boyfriend called the agency one day some weeks ago, asking for us to get him a painting in Russia and as it is a very important one and one quite hard to get, I thought I should take the job, considering the important client we had. And as I previously said, it is a very important one, so I thought that I should deliver it myself too. Just to make sure everything is alright and my client is satisfied."

I almost puff. "Wow, dad. You are _so_ devoted. And let me guess. You didn't know that Dimitri is my boyfriend when you decided to make this selfless act of delivering it yourself, no?" he shrugs. And well, he is talking about a damn painting, but I surely can't see one around here. So he must have made up this delivery shit.

"And well," he changes the subject. "it wasn't entirely a selfless act. I thought that I could visit my little girl too as I was in town." I throw him a little ugly look when he calls me like that and he smiles back at me. "It would have been a double win situation. A job well done and seeing you after some time. And look. I am visiting you. Even though I didn't expect to find you here."

"Oh, let me get this clear enough. You came here to "deliver the painting personally" just because it is "so important" and not because you found out that Dimitri is my boyfriend and you felt the fatherly urge to give him the talk, no?"

He smiles. "What talk?"

"Dad…" he gets amused.

Someone knocks at the door again and interrupts us. Oh, shit. It must be Dimitri. Well, things are going to get fun. I open the door and there is a man carrying a packed rectangle. Phew. I tell him to enter and what he is carrying is quite big. It may cover a lot of a wall in this apartment. So my father wasn't lying after all. The delivery guy leaves the painting into the living room and leaves.

And I must admit that I am very curious about what painting Dimitri wanted to get. So I don't wait for him to come. I rip the wrapping and take in all the greenish lovely colors, combining themselves into an aurora onto a black starry sky, over a lake that is surrounded by trees. I know this painting. I love this painting. And oh my God, he took it for me. I have seen it in a magazine once some time ago and I told him I loved it. And he remembered. Probably because I kept on talking about it for a couple of days, but still. He remembered. Isn't he so nice?

But the thing is that the painting was into a museum and I don't think it was for sale. "Where did you find this? No. In fact, _how_ did you get this?"

And cockiness fills my father's features. "Well, your old man knows his job, doesn't he? It took me a lot to find it and even more to get my hands on it. I am telling you this, Russian people are quite hard to work with. But if you piss them long enough…" yeah, he doesn't need to elaborate. From him I got my talents of pissing off people. "Your guy talked to me about it a while ago and I could grant my work now. But he said he didn't care how long it will take or how much. He said it was for someone special." and a smile spreads on my lips. "Can I guess that that special one might be you?" and I nod, still smiling.

"Well, your job here is done. You delivered the painting and I am telling you that the customer is happy. Very happy." and I signal him to get up. "Plus, you saw me. So…"

"No, my job is not done."

"I beg your pardon?"

He rolls his eyes. "I want to meet him, Rose. As you said, this is the reason I came here in the first place…"

"Dad…"

"What?"

"Don't do that thing all dads do, please."

"And what dads do?" he asks with a grin.

" _Exactly_ what you are doing right now. Stop it. I don't want you to deliver Dimitri that speech. I don't want you to try to threaten him."

"I don't know what you are talking about." he says trying to seem innocent.

"You know _exactly_ what I am talking about, so cut the crap, dad." he just smiles. "Look. I will come with Dimitri one day to visit you and mum. Some time soon. But at least give us some more time." plus, I don't want him to see that Dimitri and I had a fight.

"But why waste this chance? I am already here."

" _Daaad_." I say exasperated. He is set off to drive me insane.

But I don't get the chance to say anything else to him because Dimitri gets into the apartment. Now it's too late for me to get my father out of here. The inevitable is happening. They have to meet each other. And even though I am not cutting off Dimitri's period of punishment yet, I don't want my farter to see that we had a fight. But I must postpone it for now.

" _Be nice_." I tell my father and go welcome Dimitri.

I get to the door and greet him. And his face is making me want to laugh so bad. He's looking so confused! He seems surprised that I am even looking at him. I round my arms on his neck, pulling him closer and whisper to him.

"Don't get your hopes up, comrade. We are being watched."

"What? By who?"

"Oh, you'll find out soon."

I make my way into the living room and along the way, Dimitri slips his fingers in between mine. Oh, he surely isn't wasting his chance of touching me. I throw him a glance and he smiles, knowing that I can't pull away so I squeeze his hand hard, but he doesn't react.

We post ourselves in front of my father, who has got up from the sofa. "Well, um…Dimitri, this is my father." and Dimitri's eyes widen a little, but he doesn't let out all the surprise, controlling himself quite well. "Dad, this is Dimitri."

They shake hands and I see my father squeezing hard on Dimitri's hand but he doesn't say a thing, he just takes it without uttering anything. Really, dad? I just asked him to be nice a minute ago! I throw him a glance to stop and he does after some more seconds, smiling. Not good. This evening might not end well.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Sir. I didn't know you would drop by. I would have let Rose come home even earlier. I hope you didn't have to wait or something."

"I didn't really intend to come. But this thing happened. It's quite funny if you think about it." And he fills Dimitri in with the painting thing.

"Oh, I see. But your names…" yeah, I am sure that Dimitri had no clue that the man he hired to get him the painting was none other than my father. Well, it's true when they say that God works in mysterious ways, no?

"Yeah, yeah, we heard that before." my father dismisses the subject smiling. "Just some faulty bureaucracy no one really wanted to deal with. But leave that. There it is. What you asked for." he points to the painting leaning over the wall.

Dimitri turns and looks at it. "So, do you like the painting?" he asks me.

I smile in response. How could I not? "I do. Very much." and I hug him and he rounds his hands on me, holding me tight. "Thank you so much. I love it." I say out loud so that my father can hear me and then whisper something only to Dimitri. "But even though, you are still grounded comrade. So now, take your hands off the merch." he chuckles lightly but doesn't get his hands off me. But of course, my father is there so we have to eventually pull away.

"Dear, I am feeling like drinking a coffee. Would you mind making me one while I have a little talk with Dimitri?"

"Daaad!"

"What? Can't your old man ask for a coffee?"

"It's not that. I already told yo-"

But he ignores me completely. "Would you like some coffee too? You may have had a long day."

Dimitri looks at me, then nods, understanding where things are heading. "Yes, please."

"But it's too late for coffee." I try to find an excuse to remain here. I swear I don't want to leave the two of them alone.

"Oh, dear. It's never too late for coffee." my father says and sends me away. And I am doomed to go to the kitchen and make those damn coffees. "And close the door behind you kiz!" Gosh, dad is getting his job as a father way too serious. I get into the kitchen, but I don't close the damn door. I want to know what they will talk about. "I didn't hear you close it, Rose." Ugh! I slam it closed and grab a kettle and fill it with water. Just perfect. Now I can't hear a thing.

 **DPOV begins**

So, here it is. The talk. I have never gotten to this point in my life with anyone, and I really have no idea what I should do or what I should say. And the face that Rose's dad has as he is watching from head to toe like he would be inspecting me, is telling me that I might get in trouble soon. Let's hope I don't.

He takes a seat and so do I, and we face each other and I wait for him to start with his speech, but I don't really know what to expect and this not knowing thing starts making me feel a little nervous. Not that I would let him know about that, but still. He seems an imposing man. After a few seconds in which he gives me the silent, cold treatment, he takes a more comfortable position and speaks.

"You need to know I have a great imagination." Oh, that is a very good start. "And I won't hold back from using it if, you know, do something to her."

"I bet you do, Sir. But I promise not to give you any chance to use it on me. I love your daughter and I would never do anything to hurt her." He seems pleased with my answer, but I did nothing but to say the truth. So I think I will keep on going on this patch. I don't have anything to hide after all.

"Look. I am going to be honest with you. I won't pretend that I enjoyed the idea that the two of you are together as I first found out about it. And you may know why is that. Your life hasn't been quite hidden from the public eye."

"I understand, Sir. But I left that life behind me. Completely. There is no one in my life except for Rose and I hope that there will never be anyone else but her." He nods. Okay, I am handling this conversation way better than I expected.

"What is it about my daughter that made you want to be with her?"

I can't help but smile a little. "Everything. She is an amazing person to be around. I especially love her laughter. She is a very happy person."

"And I hope you will keep it that way."

"Totally, Sir."

We spend the next few seconds in silence, with me wondering what he might be asking me next. Then, he leans forward and gives me a nod. "You know I'll keep my eyes on you, no?" and I nod. I wouldn't expect something less from him. It is very obvious how much he cares about Rose. "Good, son. Now tell me. Do you like sports?"

 **DPOV ends**

When those damn coffees are ready and I get back they are already relaxed and even smiling. What? No blood, no snapped necks, no destruction? Did something major happen when I wasn't around? Hell, I missed only a couple of minutes and they are already casually talking about football. Can you believe that? It worked out way better than I expected.

I place the coffees on the table, but no one gives them any attention.

"What is that smell?" my father asks.

"Well, I was making dinner when you dropped by."

"That smells great, sweetie. You're doing that steak thing your mother always does?"

"Yeah, kind of. It's s almost ready." I say in the hopes that it will give my father the signal that he should get his ass out of here. I am very nervous comparing to Dimitri who seems to be handling this situation very well.

"That's perfect. Would you like to stay for dinner, Sir?" and there Dimitri comes and spoils everything I was trying to accomplish.

Please say no, dad. I look at him and almost beg him with my eyes. And he smiles. Ugh! He is going to say yes. "It would be a pleasure. I always wanted to know how my daughter is cooking."

"I can already tell you, Sir, that it is great. Rose is very good around the kitchen." Dimitri praises my cooking skills and takes my hand into his, even though he is very aware of what I told him, taking again advantage of the fact that I can't pull away.

* * *

And so we end up having dinner together. But it doesn't take much for my dad to drop a question about Dimitri, besides the nice ones like, where did you study, do you have any siblings and others. But one in particular overlaps them all.

"Have you ever been in trouble with the law, son?"

I almost choke on my food. " _Dad_!"

"It's okay, Rose." Dimitri says reasuringly.

"No! Don't encourage him. What kind of question is that, dad?"

"Well, I wouldn't ask if… You know…"

"Hey! It only happened once!" and my father smiles knowingly. And he promised not to mention that shit anymore.

"What happened only once?" Dimitri gets curious.

"Oh, nothing important." I try to dismiss the subject.

"Come on, sweetie. Tell him. It's funny."

"No, it is not funny."

"It is. I will tell him if-"

"No! I will." and I turn in my chair to face Dimitri. "I had a boyfriend in my junior year in high school that was selling drugs. Not that I would have known anything about that."

"That's all?" he asks seemingly disappointed. I bet he was expecting me to tell him something else.

"Yeah, that's all." I say trying to avoid an embarrassing moment.

"No, that's not all." my father gladly interrupts. "The thing is that that kid was so stupid that he was selling drugs to a police officer's kid. And decided to deliver one day while that other boy's father was home and so he got caught. Like, how smart can you be to do that, right? When he saw that man in a uniform, he practically shit his pants and confessed everything even though the man had no reason to suspect him. So much for a drug dealer he was." and they both get laughing at my poor choices in men along the years.

"So?" my father's attention turns back to Dimitri after they stopped laughing.

"No, Sir. I have never had any problems with the law."

And then we get talking about other things that don't involve my terrible love life and that thankfully doesn't involve my father asking Dimitri anything else. And so, the time passes, and we eat, and we laugh, and we have a good time.

And along the dinner and after that, Dimitri surely takes his chances with touching me and speaking with me, each time he has the occasion. Just because he knows I can't push him away. I throw him some glances but he just ignores my messages. So be it, Dimitri. I will make sure you'll pay for this little game you're playing. He's not doing much in fact, he is just sometimes holding my hand or steals a little touch, but it is annoying me that he knows it is annoying me, you know? Oh, and I would so like to touch him back, but I need to keep my ground. I need to keep on to my decision, to be strong. To show him who's the boss.

* * *

And around eleven, my father finally leaves. His visit went way better than I expected.

I hug him before he leaves. "So, you like him?" I whisper into his ear. I am way too curious to wait until later.

He chuckles lightly. "He seems a good guy, kiz."

"Yeah, but mum…"

He pulls away and winks. "Don't you worry about that. I will talk with her." he says and heads for the door.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, Mister Mazur. "

"Oh, you can call me Abe, son." my father says and the leaves after saying us goodbye.

And I am completely bewildered. Did he just say what I think he said? None, but none of my boyfriends were allowed to call him anyhow than Mister Mazur. Like ever. Wow, I don't know what Dimitri just did in those minutes I left them alone, but he just charmed my father.

And the second my father gets out that door, my mouth gets shut and I head to our bedroom. Dimitri comes there too and changes into his pyjamas quickly, then lays in bed. While I change my clothes, I am moving slowly and I am taking my time to remain naked in front of him for as long as possible, and I watch him as his eyes are pinned on me.

"So, are we okay now?" he eventually asks.

After I finish dressing up, I smile as I get closer to the bed. He smiles too and as I lean over the bed, he leans over too, coming closer to me, maybe thinking that he is going to get a kiss from me. Oh, he is such a fool. I let him get close enough to feel each other's breath on our skins, but as he comes even closer, I extend my hand and grab my pillow from my bed and pull away. His face drops. Not tonight either comrade. This is something he has brought onto himself.

"Come on, Rose. At least tell me something. A word, something. Without your father's presence making you to. Hell, even yell if you want. But _say_ something."

I shrug in response as I head towards the door. "It's not fair at all." He says just before I close it behind me. No one said it has to be fair, no?

* * *

I wake up as I am on the move. It takes me less than a second to realize why I am moving. I am in Dimitri's arms and he is taking me into the bed, just like he did every night. I don't do anything; I just let him do that, enjoying feeling him close to me. Why did I even do this to myself? I missed feeling him too and this thing I have been doing is not only teasing him, but it is teasing me too. This is it. Tomorrow, I am ending this thing. I miss my man and he surely learnt his lesson.

He lightly lays me down in bed and puts the covers on me, careful to tuck me in completely, not leaving a single spot untaken care of, and I happily snuggle under them, still being able to feel the warmth of him on them. He must have just left the bed some seconds ago and I let myself get drunk onto his smell.

But when I thought that he finished and that he would leave the room, he doesn't. Instead, I hear him as he probably crouches next to the bed, just in front of me. And for some seconds nothing happens. I want so badly to open my eyes and see what he is doing, but I don't get the chance because he sighs lightly and his fingers slowly brush on my cheek and then he leans over, placing a little kiss on it. He stops there for a second.

"I'm sorry, Roza. I really am." he whispers. And God, all I want to do is to get up and round my arms on him and keep him close to me. But I decide not to in that moment. Don't get me wrong. I really wanted to do that. But the moment didn't seem right. He sounded so vulnerable and I didn't dare to let him know that I heard that. Instead, I let him get away and when he gets close to the door, I shift my position and pretend to have just woken up.

"Dimitri? Is that you?" I say sleepily.

He turns around. "Yes, it's me. I was ju-"

"Come here." I say and get the covers off me, and scoop a little to the other side, making him some room to get in bed next to me.

He gets closer to the bed, but doesn't sit. He is looking at me with those eyes saying: 'Really? Are you sure about this?'. I nod and gesture him to come in bed. And so, he lays next to me. I get closer to him and lay my head on his chest, brushing my nose on the soft material of his t-shirt, taking in his scent, which is stronger than the one on the sheets.

His palm gets a hold of my back and he runs his fingers across my spine. "Roza, I-"

"Shhh." He doesn't need to say it again. I already know. "Let's not talk, okay? Let's just sit here."

And his hand drags me even closer to him and he kisses on my forehead. And we sit like that until we finally fall asleep.

* * *

On the next day, in the morning, I keep on to my promise to end this teasing thing for goods. Hearing him last night kind of made me feel bad for playing my game for so long already. Maybe I took it too far and even gotten quite mean with him in the process so he needs to know that everything is alright now between us.

As I get back into our room from the little trip I made to the kitchen to end my thirst, I expect to see Dimitri still being in bed and I wanted to be the one waking him up but he is not in this room. I hear the shower already running. Well, I missed for about five minutes, so he had enough time to get in there. So, change of plans. I enter the bathroom and undress myself. I slide the shower door and I see him in all his glory, as he is washing away the foam out of his hair. God, he is so hot with all this foamy water running all over his toned muscles. He stops at my sight and makes me some space to enter, the warm water washing over my body. I close the shower door behind me and things are already steamy in here. I plan to get them even steamier. I move close to him and kiss him lightly on his lips.

"You are completely forgiven now, comrade." And this is all he needs to hear.

He pins me hard to the wall and while his hands freely roam all over my body, he kisses me again, only more passionate and for longer this time, our tongues playing with each other when we are not taking some hastily breaths in. I take my hands towards his chest, but he takes both of them before I reach it and pins them up on the wall with his left hand. I am now fully extended on the wall and my rib cage is popping up.

"No touching, remember?" he says smiling. Oh, he is going to pay me back, I am sure of this. Let's see what you've got big boy.

He continues to kiss me hastily as his right hand starts playing with my breast, drawing precise circles on my flesh. My back arches towards him and I moan into his mouth. He smiles as his hand travels down to my sensitive area and passes one finger between my already wet folds.

"Mmm, _so ready_."

"Yes, only for you." I respond and he growls as he passes the tip of his nose up on my cheek. God, I love having this effect on him.

He makes one more slow movement, making sure he touches all the right places, and that makes me sigh in pleasure. "I heard you like to tease, huh?" he asks into that strong accented voice that makes my intestines twirl.

"Well, how else could I make you regret what you said, comrade?" I ask smiling, pleased with myself.

He moves fast, pressing his thigh between my legs and I gasp in surprise as he cups my breast again, pinching on my nipple. Damn him. I wasn't that harsh, right? This is pure torture. And I'll like every second of it I'm sure. He's already smiling from the reaction he got from me. And oh, I can see it in his eyes that he won't stop here.

He suddenly lets go of my hands and gets on his knees, then takes one of my legs and puts it over his shoulder, spreading it to one side, giving him more access to my core. I see where this thing is headed and I feel anxious. Hands, we did that a lot. But he never went down on me.

"Um, you don't have to do that."

He looks me right in my eyes and says: "But I want to taste you _so bad_ , Roza." then licks his lips and his voice full of lust makes me lose my mind. When he sees that I don't argue, he gets closer to my slit and nips on the skin of my groin area, moving down slowly and precise, just to tease me some more. My head instantly tilts backward and I murmur his name. I clasp my hands in his hair and drag him closer to me, getting him in between my legs some more, but he breaks contact.

"You touch me, I stop." he states the rules. Fine, I can do this. I lift my hands and glue them to the wall behind me.

Then, he puts his hands on my ass and squeezes it as he's walking his tongue up on my V area, testing me. I resist the urge to pass my hands through his hair and drag him closer again. I simply stay there with my hands in the air, fists clenched.

"Good girl." he says bringing his mouth next to my folds and blows air in that direction. My toes curl.

" _Fuck_ , Dimitri." I extend my hands and I am very close to touching his shoulders for some support, but I don't. I can do this. I don't want him to stop.

He goes further and begins to suck and lick on me, his hands working on my things and ass, massaging my skin hungrily. I moan loudly as something begins to gather in my lower abdomen. A god. He is a god. His tongue works miracles. The things he does with his mouth, man. The only thing I can do with mine is to purr his name between hard breaths. With one hand he parts my folds to get even more access, and then he gets his other thumb to that little spot above my opening and starts drawing small circles, pressing on my bundle of nerves from time to time.

And he doesn't stop moving his tongue, not even for a second. I push myself into the wall just to get closer, my hips moving up and down by their own will. And his tongue begins to move faster and he swallows all my juices. I am already panting heavily and I am so close. So close. Without thinking, I put my hands on his head again, trying to amplify the pleasurable sensation.

He stops and pulls away, getting up to his feet. I look at him shocked.

"You touch me, I stop." he reminds me, smiling. I growl in frustration. Really, comrade?

He gets closer to me, our faces millimeters apart. The water is washing over him and this is the hottest thing I have ever seen. "You are delicious, Roza." He says, licking his lips so close to me. "You want to taste?" he asks into the sexiest voice ever. God, he doesn't even have to touch me to make me feel like exploding. I nod lightly and he brings our mouths together, walking his tongue all over mine.

Then, he turns me around and my knees are already weak, so I steady myself by putting my hands on the wall. He places his left hand next to mine then pushes himself into my back, gluing himself on me and I can feel his erection pushing on my lower back. God, he is so hard. How can he be so composed? I can barely keep myself from begging him to take me. But I don't. I don't ask for things, I just make people give them to me.

His head finds its place into the crook of my neck and he whispers into my ear.

"Three days, Roza. You didn't let me touch you for _three_ days." he says as his right hand travels up and down on my body, sending shivers all over my spine.

"But yester-" he gets a hold of my ass and digs his fingers in my skin.

"No, Roza. That doesn't count. Do you know what that did to me?" One of his legs gets between mine and parts mimes some more.

 **DPOV begins**

I begin with tracing lines up and down slowly on her body and she starts to quiver under my touch, moaning lightly. The vibrations that her body makes on my member are maddening. I growl and shove myself harder into her back, trying to release some of the tension. I encircle her side body with my free hand and find my way down, between her legs. It's time to tease some more. I move my fingers up and down between her warm, dripping folds very, very slow.

"Do you want me to get further?"

"Yes." She responds eagerly.

"Then ask me to." For a second she doesn't say anything, but I repeat the gesture, moving painfully slow and she winces her face, trying to resist me.

I press hard on her clit. She lets out a strangled moan, as she is still keeping that battle with herself, but as I keep on applying pressure on her, she loses it and speaks. " _Fuck me_."

"Fuck me what Roza?" I keep on moving my fingers slowly in circles on her weakest spot, not going any further. I know I am being some kind of mean right now, but I just want to hear these words from her. I wouldn't really do this if I wouldn't know that she likes this power game we are playing as much as I do. She lives to tease. And so do I when I am with her.

She turns her head and whispers with difficulty in my ear. "You are going to pay for this." Yeah, I know I will. But I'll take my chances. I just love this power game we are playing, just to see who breaks first. I hope I'm not, because I can't keep myself steady for longer.

"Really?" I get closer to her opening and circle my finger around the edges. "If you want more, you just have to ask me. Nothing more."

She growls and fists her palms, struggling not to give in to me. I know she never asks nicely for anything, no matter what. But as I repeat my movement, I guess it's too much for her to take and her though façade breaks as she speaks.

"God, _please_ , Dimitri." She says to me between hard breaths and I have to keep myself thinking straight. "Fuck me." Another moan. " _Please_." She says out of breath. Well, if she is asking me so nicely, how can I say no to her? But I won't let her come. Not yet. But soon enough.

I dip one of my fingers into her pool and she moans loud in relief. God, this sound always drives me insane. I'm moving fast and then slowly. Fast and slow, teasing all the way. I lusted for her for the last three days and I need to take things slowly. I want to feel every bit of her insides.

"Do you like this, Roza?" I whisper next to her ear.

"Yeah." she whispers too, being out of breath and tilting her head backward.

I thrust with one more finger and her body curves, pushing her perfect ass up on me. It takes so much willpower not to take her in this moment. Instead, I move faster.

"I didn't hear you, Roza."

" _Yes_! God, yes!" she yells and her palms clench even harder on the wall.

I continue to move my fingers inside her hot center, drawing circles and then thrusting in and out. She is moaning loudly and I think that I am going to explode just by hearing her consumed by pleasure. I can feel myself getting closer to the edge and I push myself into her back harder, trying to keep myself composed. Just a while longer Dimitri.

"Mmm Dimitri, I am so close." she announces me and presses herself down a little, her knees ready to give in, taking me by surprise.

Okay, now it's the time. I stop again as I feel her legs pulling closer around my hand and I pull away, letting the warm water wash on her back.

"Oh, come _on_! I didn't touch you this time, goddamnit!" she says turning around and I find her with a very frustrated look on her face. I smile lasciviously as I respond to her.

"Yeah, I know. Not _fair_ , right?" I pay her back for that thing last night. Her expression changes and there is some idea that forms into that beautiful head of hers.

"You know, comrade, if you are going to let me like this, I am going to finish the job by myself." She says passing her hand through her wonderful hair, getting it out of her face. God, I love it when she does that. The water is running over her body and this image turns me on even more.

I cross my arms over my chest and raise one eyebrow. I hope that my face transmits her that I don't believe a word she is saying to me. She squints her eyes as she gets my message and comes closer to me and puts one hand on my shoulder. Is she really going to do this? Nah, she is just playing.

Her other hand reaches towards mine and she takes it, bringing it between her legs and she begins to rub herself, directing my hand up and down on her, as she moans my name exaggeratedly. I am not the only one who can play this game it seems.

" _God_ , Roza." Damn this woman is amazing. Okay, I can't do this anymore; I need to feel her on me right now. I need to find my release, just like her. I take my hand back, stopping her. Without any effort, I pick her up and push her into the wall again.

 **DPOV ends**

It seems that my little performance from earlier sent the proper message. It was either me or him who was going to finish things. And he couldn't stand not to be the one bringing me pleasure, because he finally gets inside me and satisfies me completely, no more teasing. He is thrusting hard and deep and I soon begin to scream as my whole body is overwhelmed by ecstasy, letting out all the tension he just built in me. All my muscles contract and I remain breathless. God, this is the strongest orgasm I have ever had. After my body calms down, Dimitri turns off the water and carries me into the bed, my whole body feeling mush after all this. But we don't stop. We do it a couple more times and I am finally allowed to touch him. And it's my turn to tease him again and get my revenge for what he did earlier. Gosh, make up sex is simply amazing.

I now lay on top of him, my body sore, and we both steady our breaths.

"You know, maybe I should get mad at you more often, comrade."

He laughs. "I was thinking about something."

I raise my head and look at him, eyebrows up. "Careful, comrade. Last time you did that you fucked up. I said more often, but this is too soon to get mad at you again. Wait at least until tomorrow, will you?"

He squints his eyes and smiles as he shakes his head. "I was thinking that we could get away for some time. A week maybe."

"This is a great idea, Dimitri." I think I really need some time away from this damn town. "Where shall we go?"

"We could all go to my family's country house back in Baia. It's nice there."

"Wait. We all?"

"Yes. I was thinking that maybe Lissa and Christian would need some time away too. Only if you want them to come, of course."

My face fills with a big smile. "I would love that. This is so nice of you, Dimitri." I say and kiss him. He is so thoughtful. We stay in silence for some minutes and then I realize something.

"Heeey. We are going to your family's house." I state surprised. The thought just sunk in.

"Yes. I already told you that. I want them all to meet you." well, he just met my father so I guess it might be time for me to meet his family too, no?


	45. Chapter 45

Lissa and Christian got very excited about this getaway week, as they really needed it after the whole Victor incident. And don't we all? This is the best thing that could have happened to us. To get away and to have a good time together and to forget about all the bad that happened to us. Of course, they got even happier when they found out that we are going to Russia and in addition, with Dimitri's private jet. Ever since I told them about my previous trip with Dimitri, they got very eager to try that too one day. Especially Christian. His eyes kept on glowing like a little kid's at an amusement park for the whole time. I can say that he is very proud of my rich as fuck boyfriend.

 **Day 1**

After we land, we get into a car that Dimitri rented and we head to Baia, his hometown. We are going to get there in two hours, which is enough for me to take in the beautiful late summer landscapes of Russia's roads. As Dimitri is driving, I lower the window on my side and let the warm breeze blow my hair. I have always liked days like these. It's summer, but the sun is not roasting you as you walk on the street, it doesn't make the asphalt melt under its heatness, but lightly warms your skin, and the wind is gently blowing, allowing you to take in deep clear breaths of air. Too bad that the summer is coming to an end pretty soon. I would surely miss the early mornings spent with Dimitri at the beachside, watching the sunrise cuddled. That became one of our favorite places in this entire town and often find ourselves going there.

And speaking of him, I feel his fingers brushing lightly on the skin on my knee and upward over my dress, probably blindly looking for my hand. I love it when he does that, how he thinks about me even when he's doing little things like driving. I entangle our fingers and squeeze on his hand and he smiles lightly, his eyes still pinned on the road. Gosh, I just can't wait to spend this time this week with him.

With my attention distracted from the road, I take a look into the central mirror and see Lissa sleeping on Christian's lap, him passing his hand through her golden strands as he is conscientiously reading a parenting book. Who would have thought that someone as Christian would get so serious in such a short period of time? All he can talk about these days is their little baby and he is so proud of Lissa's little bump. Would Dimitri be like that too if I would get pregnant one day? It would be so nice to see him like this. I bet he would do the baby talk in Russian so that no one would ever know. He always tries to seem so tough.

And I guess that the flight tired Lissa. She doesn't have any other pregnancy symptoms, except that she gets tired really fast. I guess that she is one of the lucky ones. It could be worse from what I have heard. Oh, and of course. She eats for two. I swear she can eat much more than me now, which is not that little, trust me. And I must say I am a little jealous now. No one used to overtake me into that area.

And as I analyze her angelic sleeping face, my eyes suddenly land on her cast. It is full of colorful silly drawings, made by the little kids that she is taking care of at the hospital. I can't help myself not to feel guilty for that thing. She _shouldn't_ be wearing that. She doesn't deserve to be in that position. _It should have been me that day,_ my brain keeps on reminding me. And if it would have been me, things would have been much worse than they are now. Maybe we wouldn't have been here now if I were the one driving Dimitri's car that day.

Lissa wakes up along the way and we start talking again about all kind of things, from what names they should pick for their baby to what Russian dishes we should definitely try while we are here and what we should do along these free days we have, but at some point my mouth shuts and I zone out, not participating at the conversation anymore, and I think about what would happen if Victor would manage to do something that he said he'd do that day when we visited him. What if he finds a way? Is there really a way for him to do something? Or what if Tasha won't calm down? She hasn't done anything yet, but she might. She is not the kind of person to give up easily. But I hope she will. With all my heart. I want this shit to be done. I want to simply be with Dimitri, no other obstacles. We have made some of them ourselves and I believe we deserve to be happy and left alone.

"Hey, Rose." Christian says patting my shoulder, interrupting my train of thoughts.

"Yeah?" I turn and look at him confused. Did I miss something important?

Lissa giggles. "Ooooh, someone is neeeeervous." she says almost excited.

"What are you talking about, Liss?"

"Well, you usually never stop talking. You always have something to say about anything, Rose." well, yeah. That's true. "And now you have been quiet for the last whole ten minutes. Are you nervous about meeting Dimitri's family, right?" all of them laugh, even Dimitri. I shot him a glance and he smiles warmly and I instantly forgive him. How can I resist him?

Next, I squint my eyes at Lissa. "No, I am not."

She elbows Christian and they laugh some more. "Come on, Rose. I know you."

"Oh, says the girl who has puked _two times_ before her boyfriend picked her up to go and meet his parents, right?"

Her jaw drops. "Hey! That was our secret." well, it was, but it slipped out my mouth, what can I do? I always speak without thinking and she is aware of that. But I don't get to answer and defend myself.

"You really did, sweetie?" Christian asks instead. She nods smiling lightly and he embraces her. And in a second, they both go into their little world, speaking in low voices and I get away without any punishment from Lissa for my little slip.

Dimitri takes my hand into his again and kisses it. As I look at him, he mouths an ''I love you'' and I squeeze his hand in response and bring it up to my cheek, brushing his fingers on my skin. But I guess that Lissa is right. If I let this thought sink in, I am kind of nervous about meeting Dimitri's family. What if they simply don't like me? What if they don't consider me good enough to be Dimitri's girlfriend? I don't want to mess anything into his family. My mother is more than enough to be against this relationship. Dimitri walks his thumb up and down on my hand into what seems to be a reassuring gesture. I look at him again, and he nods lightly, transmitting to me that everything will be alright. I love this thing about us. We don't really need many words to understand each other.

* * *

Dimitri finally pulls up the car in front of a tall porch. As the anxiety of what Lissa said earlier kept on creeping into me, the road seemed to keep on unfolding forever, but well, here we are. We arrived. After he gets out the car and opens the porch, we continue our way on foot on a wide alley that goes somehow down and at the end of it, it is a superb country house.

The two lovers go in front of us, leading the way into a slow pace, and Dimitri and I follow them, holding hands along the way, leaving enough space in between us so that we would not hear their private conversation, as they seem to have one of their moments.

It is so nice out here. It's slowly getting darker outside, but it is still pretty warm and everything is green around us. There are flowers and trees everywhere along the domain. And the house is wonderful. It is the kind of house you see in movies, where you find warm and loving families that wait for you to come back on your Christmas holiday. It is not that big, even though it has two stories, and it is just enough to shelter a big and happy family. It is painted into a light almost white blue, with wooden windows and some colorful flowers on the porch. It really looks like a dream house.

As we get closer, into the enormous yard close to the house, I can see a bunch of kids playing catch, their laughter and squeals filling the air. When they spot us the majority of them just wave in our direction, acknowledging our presence and then go back to their game, but two of them fetch away from the game and come running our way, yelling something in Russian that contains a 'Dimkaaaa!' at the end. They must be Karolina's kids, Dimitri's oldest sister. It is a little boy and a girl, that share the same mahogany hair with Dimitri, this wonderful feature running deep into the family it seems. And they are so adorable I wanna eat them up. The boy has longer hair than the other boys around here, reaching just over his shoulders, and I can only guess that he took this thing from Dimitri, as I know that his father died some time ago. The little girl is dressed into a jeans overall and a pink T-shirt and she keeps on pulling up the straps back on her petite shoulders as she is making her way here, running as fast as her short legs allow her to. It is so cute that the boy doesn't leave behind his little sister, and he even waits for her to catch up with him and then takes her hand and runs at her pace, just to reach us at the same time. This little thing warms my heart.

As the two kids reach us, Dimitri squats and catches the two shorties into his embrace, then rises and spins them around, making the kids giggle. After he puts them down, they immediately head their attention my way and look at me in awe, completely ignoring Lissa and Christian, who are themselves looking at the small cutie and probably talk about their on the way kid.

The little girl turns to Dimitri and asks into a very accented English that sounds so sweet: "Uncle Dimka, is this auntie Rosie?" Did she just call me an _auntie_? I widen my eyes in surprise and look at him. He laughs lightly and nods at the little girl. Wow. He didn't lie when he said that his whole family knows about me.

"Hi, guy-" is all I manage to say, because the five-year girl glues herself around my leg and looks at me with her big light green eyes, that she must have gotten from her father and lets out a long "Hiiiii" that makes my heart melt. I swear that she is the cutest kid I have ever met.

"Who would have thought?" Christian asks sarcastically. "Little kids dig Hathaway." and Lissa punches him into the arm as he chuckles. And I must admit that this is something amazing for me too. My previous experience with little kids was once when I tried to babysit and I only managed to do that for one night, then I was completely done with that job.

"Hi! My name is Paul." the boy says and extends his hand for me to shake. As I do that, I tell him that I am delighted to finally meet him and he is surprised that I was interested in his person and I tell him that of course I am and then he tells me that if I want, we can be friends and I immediately agree with that and tell him that I can't wait for us to play something together and he shortly plans a play date, that excited he is. Okay. It seems that by now, with the kids, I am managing things quite well, no? Let's see how I will handle the grown-ups. After this, Paul goes and repeats the gesture with Lissa and Christian. Wow, such a mannered kid. Not that I expected something else. If Dimitri was raised here and he is how he is, these kids surely get the same good education he got and I bet they will grow up to be good people.

But the little girl is still attached by my leg and I give her my attention now. "And you are?' I ask as I bend down, to get to the same level as her and quickly look at Dimitri and see him watching us with a smile on his face.

"Zoya." she says smiling widely and then shies away, going to Dimitri and hiding behind his legs. But her shyness quickly goes away and she asks him to pick her up, being very excited all of a sudden. He complies and gets her up on his shoulders as we continue our way to the house.

The boy runs ahead of us, heading towards the house and yelling joyfully "Uncle Dimka's here!" over and over again, announcing our presence here. Even though it doesn't make any sense to me (Russian doesn't make sense to me in general), Dimitri's nickname sounds so cute. It's way better than calling him Dimi or something like that.

When we get there, the rest of the family is already waiting for us outside. Five women and no man, because besides Karolina's husband who is no longer alive, Viktoria is still single, Sonja's husband is an army officer that doesn't get to spend much time at home, and Dimitri's father is, well, that I don't know. I never spoke with him about that, but he obviously is not here.

And as I see them all, standing there, waiting for us to reach them, my anxiety rises highly and my previous fears come back to my mind. And I think that Dimitri senses that because he takes my hand into his and caresses it with his thumb, as he is holding the little girl with the other and leans over to whisper into my ear a "You'll be fine. They'll love you in an instant, just like I did." that makes some of my worries go away, but not completely.

But it seems that I worried pointlessly because all of them are wonderful persons and greet us warmly. Dimitri has such a good and lovely family. Olena, Dimitri's mother, a nice woman, around her mid-fifties but not showing her age at all, with beautiful features that all her children definitely share, is the first one to take me into her embrace, after welcoming back her son, and I swear that she seems unwilling to let go of me. She seems so different from my mother, being so warm and loving and I swear that I wish my mother was just half as understanding as she is, but well, you know my luck. The next one is Karolina that tells me that "It was about time he brought a girl home" with a big smile on her face, then hugs me. Everything goes well so far.

When Dimitri's grandmother's turn comes, she looks at me weirdly and asks me: "Are you pregnant already?" Bewildered I shake my head no. Wait a second. Does everybody think that this is the reason Dimitri brought me here? Almost all the Belikovs laugh, but Lissa, Christian and I surely don't see any joke here. "I sense a baby." She says suspiciously. How come? Is she some kind of psychic?

"Um, that would be me, Ma'am." Lissa answers, lifting her palm along her body, just like it would be high school all over again. But I tell you, Dimitri's grandmother is really imposing and I don't know why because she looks so harmless. Until she opens her mouth.

"You wanna know what is it going to be?" um, how the hell would she even know that? I throw Dimitri a doubtful glance, but he just smiles and nods, just like he would say, 'Listen to that, she knows what she is talking about.'

"Yes!" Christian answers immediately, excitement filling his voice.

"Go find some girl names then." is all she says, like some verdict. Well, we have a few months to find out if she got it right. It's not that hard to make an assumption. She has fifty percent chances to be right.

But Christian takes the information for granted and takes Lissa into his embrace and spins her around, saying excitedly: "Daddy's gonna have a little girl!" yup, exactly as he always wished.

"Dimitri told me so many things about you. You seem cool, Rose." Viktoria says smiling and she is the only person who seems very familiar to me around here. And I must admit that I like her too. From the things Dimitri told me about her, she seems my kind of person. I guess we'll get along just fine. "And don't worry about our grandma." she whispers to me and I get that she has probably seen my reaction from earlier. "She has these kinds of medium things going around. But she is okay, trust me."

Lastly, Sonja, the other older sister of Dimitri comes my way to meet me. She is holding into her arms an adorable baby girl with big happy eyes. I totally forgot that she has a kid too. When the little girl sees me, she extends her little hands in my direction and begins to babble.

Her mother laughs lightly. "She is Katya. And she just got up from her nap, this is why she is so energetic." she informs me. And indeed, she is a big bundle of joy. She keeps on wiggling her hands and they finally catch a strand of my hair and she lightly pulls it, trying to make me get closer to her I guess. "She wants you to hold her." her mother tells me and my eyes widen in surprise. I have never ever held a baby that small. Toddlers, I held before, but she is so small. What if I drop her? I can't do this. Sonja sees my concerned look and smiles. "Don't worry. You'll do just fine, Rose." she says and passes me the little human without giving me any chance to refuse.

So, without any chance to escape this situation, I take little Katya and hold her from under her armpits, encircling my hands around her rib cage. I have seen a lot of people holding babies like this. Am I doing this the right way? And she plays with my hair for two seconds and I internally sigh in relief. But in fact, it seems that I am not, because the next second, she begins to cry. And I get scared. But gosh, I thought I was doing a good job!

"Oh. I'm sorry. Please don't cry." I say panicking and I try to calm her by lightly jiggling her, but I only manage to make things worse. I look at Dimitri for help. The women around us laugh. Yeah, I must look really funny right now.

He smiles and extends his hands towards me to help me, and he gets little Katya from me and cuddles her to his chest, jiggling her slowly up and down and talking to her in a soft voice. And not long after this, the baby calms down and starts giggling again. Well, isn't he the baby whisperer?

And gosh, this view. It simply warms my whole being. Seeing Dimitri around kids makes me love him even more. He is so gentle, careful and loving, compared to the tough man that he was when I first met him. I totally believe that he is going to be an amazing father one day.

* * *

After my public embarrassment, we get inside the house and I can feel the love radiating from its walls. It is such a simple and nice house. No fancy and expensive things laying around without any purpose. They don't need them to be happy. They have each other.

We have arrived around seven in the evening and Olena takes us to the dining room, where I see that she has prepared a feast for us all. I mean, the table is full of goods that look and smell amazing. I know now from where Dimitri got his amazing cooking skills. At their sight, I realize that I am actually very hungry and my stomach starts to protest, urging me to fill it as soon as possible. We all sit and begin to eat, the table immediately filling with laughter and heated conversations, Dimitri's family adopting Lissa, Christian and I into their circle without a second thought, making us feel that we have known each other for our entire lives.

Plus, I have already found my favorite Russian food. It is something called black bread and Viktoria told me that I would better not know what it contains. I don't mind. It tastes too good and I just can't get enough of it.

Along the dinner, I lean over and ask Dimitri: "Hey, comrade. Where is the borscht?"

He smiles and shakes his head. "You know, we don't eat that at every meal, Rose. You have way too many stereotypes in your head."

Eh, I shake my shoulders in response and take another bite from the wonderful bread Dimitri's mother prepared.

* * *

Later on, we get to our rooms, after spending some time into the living room drinking some tea, until it was time for the kids to go to sleep. Sonja takes Lissa and Christian to one of the guest rooms and Dimitri and I head to one of the rooms upstairs. And as we enter it, I realize that it is his room. It still has a lot of things from when he was younger, I see. They never changed his room it seems and like this, I get to find new things about him.

On a shelve, I see family photos of him and his sisters from when he was a kid. He looked so cute! And his smile hasn't changed, not even a bit. It has always been so beautiful. But there is another boy in this picture. Does he have another brother?

"Who is this?"

"Ivan."

"Really? You grew up together?' he nods. I knew they are good friends, but I didn't know that their friendship runs for such a long time. "Does he live nearby or something?"

"He used to. Just into the house across the street. But now he lives in the States. We have been good friends since we were little but he left when he was about eight with his parents. We kept in touch, though." oh, now it makes sense why they weren't speaking much in Russian and his English is that good.

On another shelve, I spot some westerns. Well, _duh_ , what was I expecting? Next to them, there are some trophies and medals. Football, swimming, and capoeira prizes from along the years. No surprise here again. I mean, the way he looks it enough to convince you that he was the best at sports too.

On a desk, I spot some paper rocket.

"You made this?" I ask and it almost comes out as a squeal as I pick it up and look at it.

He chuckles and leans over the wall with his hands crossed. "Yeah. I was nine and I wanted to become an astronaut. I passed through that space thing phase." awww this is so cute. I imagine him running around the yard as a little boy with this rocket in his hand and a smile spreads across my lips.

I go further and find some posters on the wall. One of them has a quote of Eleanor Roosevelt's on it: ''Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.'' Wow, so deep. Who would have thought Dimitri had some inspirational thing like this on his wall? Along with this, there are some posters depicting the space (well, he was really fascinated about this some time ago it seems and I think it really lasted for a while) and some related to music: AC/DC, Phil Collins and Led Zeppelin are the only ones I recognize because there are some Russian artists too. Well, he has some taste in music, I won't lie.

But I can't believe that I missed this; I just passed over it a second ago. On the desk, next to his rocket, there is a photo of his parents, holding a little baby boy in their arms. Oh, good God, he was as sweet as a box of chocolates when he was a baby! And those puffy cheeks, man. I realize that this is the only time I have seen his father.

"Is this your father?" he nods. "What happened with him? I have seen that he is not around. Is he, you know-"

He takes a swift look out the window and then looks back at me. "No. He left."

"Oh, I am sorry to hear that."

"Don't be. I kicked him out a long time ago."

"You _what_? Why?"

"He used to treat my mother badly. And one day I got sick of it."

"Oh, wow. That sucks a lot. I mean, your mother seems such a nice woman. When did that happen?"

"When I was about thirteen or so." he says like it would be the most normal thing in the world to kick your father's ass when you are only thirteen.

My mouth drops. "You are kidding me, right? _Thirteen_ , comrade?" but he doesn't smile or something, just shakes his head. Wow, I am totally impressed.

* * *

After a long day, I get ready for bed and head to the spot next to Dimitri. He looks at me, curiosity filling his features as he is walking his eyes all over me.

"Is there something wrong?" shit. Did I forget to cut the tag on my nightgown?

"What is that?"

"What?" I say turning around, looking for something out of place on the desk that I find there. "What are you talking about? Is it behind me?"

"No, Rose. That thing that you are wearing."

I look down at the black satin nightgown that I just put on.

"What is it with this? Don't you like it?" I say and get on my shins on the bed beside him. "I have seen it into a shop and I thought you would like it."

He smiles. "Do _you_ like it?"

"Yeah, it's kind of nice. And the material is kind of cool too." I say tracing my fingers along it.

"What about your funny pyjamas?" he asks and I swear he seems disappointed. "I liked them."

I chuckle. "Yeah, but don't you like this more?" I ask turning side to side and show him my cleavage too. "I mean, my other pyjamas are way too child-"

"Milaya," he gestures me to come closer and gets up from his place to meet me halfway. "You don't have to change yourself for me." he says putting my hair behind my ear. "I love you just the way you are. And I love your silly pyjamas too. They make you who you are, and I wouldn't change that for the world, Roza." he says as he lays me on his chest as he lays down too, and a smile appears on my face.

"Comrade?"

"Yes?"

I turn my head up and look at him. "I am sorry."

His eyes widen and then he frowns. "For what?"

"I think I have been quite a bitch these days. I mean, I don't think that. I know I did." and he frowns even more. I prop my chin on his chest and trace with my fingers the line of his jaw. "Maybe I shouldn't have taken things that far, you know? I know I wasn't fair with you and I am sorry."

When he gets what I am talking about, his expression softens. "Well, you were quite upset."

I chuckle. "Yeah, but that doesn't give me the right to act like that. I promise that if something happens I'll try to be more mature about it."

He smiles and lifts his eyebrows. "You'll try?"

"Hey." I say and frown.

He leans over and kisses my forehead. "Don't worry, Roza. I won't give you any more reasons to get upset. So there won't be another time."

I smile at his words and reach up on his body, putting mine on his and snuggle to his chest, my head into the crook of his neck. "You know I love you a lot, Dimitri, no?"

His fingers brush up and down on my back. "Me too, Roza."


	46. Chapter 46

**Day** **2**

"But, Rose. What were you doing outside at that early hour?"

"Does this even matter? What really matters is why _she_ was out there then too." I sigh, pass my fingers through my hair and sit next to him on the bed. "I couldn't sleep well because of the jet lag and I thought that I could walk around the yard a little, to get some air before the others would wake up. And I explored quite a bit of the yard and got to the gate. And _she_ was just out there, across the road. I swear that I am not seeing things. It was her." and she was as surprised as I was when she saw me there. I wonder what she was doing there at that hour. I bet she didn't really expect to meet anyone.

"Rose, are you sure that your brain isn't just playing with you? Maybe from the lack of sleep... Maybe it was just someone resembling her and you thought it was her." okay, I understand that she is somehow haunting my dreams, but at least I know how to distinguish the reality from fantasy.

My lips curl in displeasement. "Come _on,_ Dimitri. Really? Do you think I am losing my mind now? I saw fucking Tasha. Period. And she was casually leaning on the wall from the house in front. I don't know what she was doing there, who she was expecting to see, but she saw me too. And after that, she left. Simple like that. Just like nothing happened. Who knows for how long she was there?" He is looking at me, his face hard to decipher. "You don't believe me, right? I am not insane, Dimitri. I know what I saw."

He takes my hand into his and shakes his head. "No, Rose. I trust you completely with that. If you say you saw her, I trust you did. But I don't understand why she would bother to come all the way here. What is she after now?"

"Yeah. That would be two of us wondering that. But that woman is surely after something. She won't simply let us be." and I move myself closer to him and prop my chin on his shoulder and he pulls me even closer, his arms around my waist. "What does she want from us now? Didn't she just get tired of all this? I surely am full of it."

"I don't know Roza. But there is one thing I am sure of. She won't do anything."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"Well, Tasha is a lot of things. But she is not stupid. I am sure that she values her freedom way too much to try anything. She knows that she won't get away again. So, the worst she could do now is to talk. It's the last thing left for her to do. And soon, she will get tired of it."

"Yeah. I just hope she'll get tired of it soon."

He sighs and passes his fingers along my back. "Me too, Rose. Me too." and after some seconds of silence in which I listened to his heartbeat, he gets back to that subject. "Rose, have you thought about that thing some more?"

I lift my head off his shoulder and smile at him. "Comrade, I already told you I am not going to hide behind a bodyguard and I am not going to change my decision. I don't need that, And I won't let her think that I am afraid of her because I am not. But she should be afraid of me because I am so tired of her shit and one day I am going to lose my temper."

He shakes his head lightly drags me back into his embrace, "Oh, Rose. Why do you have to be so-"

"Stubborn?" I finish the question for him, with a smile on my lips. It's not the first time I hear this thing from him.

"Mhm." he says chuckling.

"Well, you knew that when you said you wanted me. You have seen this a thousand times before. I even warned you about it. So there is no way out for you, comrade. You're stuck with me."

He smiles warmly and kisses my forehead. "And I wouldn't imagine things in other way than with you around."

* * *

We have spent the whole day in, Dimitri's sisters being eager to show us photos and videos from when Dimitri was little and mostly talking about the good old days of the Belikovs. Into the evening, after we ate, we all got into the living room to spend some more time together (I must confess that I could never get bored into a family like this; there is always something to do and they are all so nice and help each other with everything). And I guess this is something they always do. And it is nice because no matter how busy they are or how bad their day was, they all get there and spend time with each other, talking things out and making plans for the next one. It's like a little family reunion every day. And it feels good to know that you have a place you can always go back to where you find these wonderful people.

And now, Dimitri is sitting on the fuzzy carpet and is carefully braiding little Zoya's hair. I can never get tired of seeing him into this position; him being around kids, in general, is an image I could never get tired of. It makes my mind wander. I mean, it would be so sweet to see little Dimitris running around the house, calling us mommy and daddy. What names would our kids have? It is silly to think about our kids right now? Meh, a little daydreaming never hurt anybody, no?

"No! That will definitely won't happen!" Lissa says amused and all the others into the living room laugh, ending my nice reverie. Hell, I was so into my imagination that I didn't even hear the last five minutes of this conversation.

I am on the sofa, next to Lissa and we, all the young women are talking about my best friends' upcoming wedding, trying to give her some opinions about what it would be the nicest place they could visit for their honeymoon. And obviously, Christian has no chance to say anything against five women and he shortly gives up and goes to the kitchen to offer his help to Olena, who is preparing some tea.

At some point along our silly talking, Dimitri gets a text.

"Rose, do you think you can you read that, please? It might be important and I can't let go of this." he says as he is halfway through the second pigtail. I am sure it is from Matthew again. Dimitri left him in charge as we are here and the poor guy doesn't seem to be able to survive by his own. And oh, how cocky he was when he found out he would get to be the boss' substitute for a while. It didn't take much for that cockiness to disappear it seems.

I get up and go next to him, get the phone out of the back pocket of his jeans and unlock it. I open the message and the sender is represented by a number that I don't recognize. So it is not Matthew.

''Hello, gorgeous! I haven't seen you since last week and now you have told me to come to Baia to be close to you and two days have already passed and you haven't reached for me. This is not good, Dimi. I'm very disappointed, you know? (you'll have to make it up for that, love) You always look for me. What it is taking you so long now? Can't you get rid of Rose? If so, find a way fast because I miss you very much and I can't wait to see you. You know where I stay, I haven't changed my hotel from the last time you have been here two weeks ago, so there is no reason for you not to come to me. Call me babe, I missed you. I can't wait to mess around with you again. Maybe this time we'll try that thing again. I liked it the last time we did it. See you soon, my Russian lover. Yours, Nina. :* ''

"What does it say? Is it Matthew?"

I can't utter any word. My lips simply can't open. If they would, I am almost sure I will be letting out wails. I just turn the phone around and extend the phone in his direction, my hand shaking and my head clouded with the heaviness of what I have just read. As he reads the message, he lets go of the pigtail and takes the phone from me. As he reads the rest of it, his expression fills with confusion and he frowns, then he turns his head in my direction. No, don't do that thing with I-don't-know-what-is-happening, please. The room is still filled with chatter, people around not noticing what catastrophe that is happening in this very moment and I give him a blank stare as the tears begin to form at the back of my eyes and my breath is starting to pick up its rhythm. Someone please wake me up. This surely must be just a bad dream. Dimitri doesn't say anything as he gets up, being as calm as ever. On the other hand, I am on the verge of a mental breakdown. He takes my hand into his and gets me up on my shaking legs, then practically drags me after him out of the living room as I am unable to walk by my own and I need the guidance. I think Viktoria asked us where we are going and maybe even little Zoya was saying something, but none of us answered. As I realize what is happening, I stop on the hallway and pull my hand out of his, shaking my head no.

"Rose, come with me, please. We'll talk about it, but we can't do it in there and not even here." I look at him uncertainly. Why would I go with him? All I can think of are those woman's words, and each of them hurts me deeply. "Roza, please." he says coming close to me and I nod and I don't do anything to stop him from taking me upstairs. The truth is that I want an explanation and he is the only one capable of offering me one.

After he closes the door of his bedroom, he comes to me and takes my hands into his and begins to trace lines on them with his thumbs, into a soothing gesture.

"Rose, I need you to listen to me." my stomach knots even harder and I swallow hard, trying to stop my tears from falling.

"Who is that woman, Dimitri?" I say, my voice cracking. "And please don't lie to me."

"I _don't know._ This is the truth. You need to understand that I don't know anyone named Nina. I never had. I swear."

I start shaking my head and I can't seem to stop. "The text said... two weeks ago you were here-"

"Rose." he says calmly and caresses my cheek. "Do you think that if I would ever, _ever_ have someone else, if I would ever even _think_ about it, do you think I would even let you touch my phone? Please, think about it. Wouldn't I try to keep this away from you?" well, he is right here. He was always open about his phone. He put me answer it on many occasions. "Wouldn't I have, I don't know, another phone or something? Would I be that stupid to talk with this woman on my phone if I knew that you had access to it? Think about this, Rose. Isn't there something strange about this?" yeah, as he said, he is not that stupid to speak with someone else on a phone I have access to. But sometimes people slip, no? "Trust me when I say that I don't _know_ this woman." I frown, not knowing what to think. He is right with what he is saying. But what if... "Rose," he says squeezing my hands "there is _no other woman._ Not _now,_ not _ever._ I don't need anyone except you. _You_ are more than I could ever wish for."

And he says something else but ai can't follow him for that minute. "I need to sit down now." I say as I start feeling dizzy and he takes me to take a seat on the edge of the bed, not letting go of me and then crouches in front of me, looking at me pleadingly.

I move my eyes away and look down at our united hands. My filled with tears eyes begin to spill hot drops on my cheeks. What is _happening?_ There is something wrong and my brain can't take it. It is unable to process things. I begin to sob lightly. I can't do this. He lets go of me and his hands cup my cheeks, lifting my head and now I am looking into his eyes again.

"Roza, have I ever lied to you?" I shake my head no. Well, not from what I know of. But the text he just got tells me otherwise. "Then trust me when I say that there is no one else. No Nina, no one. Just you. It will always be you and no one else. Ever. I have no connection with this. What do you want me to do for you to trust me? Tell me and I will do anything."

"I don't know." I whisper and the grip on my palms tightens and he is slowly walking his thumb on the inside of my wrist. I simply look at him, not knowing what else to respond to him. And I think this thing goes on for a minute or two, but he lets me take my time. The gears in my head have been spinning for a while, but my brain has been working slower than usual from the shock, and it takes me a while to make sense of every information I have and to put them in the order. But _now_ I get what is happening here.

"Rose. Tell me and I will do it. Anything. What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing." I say and my voice comes out cold from all the anger in me and his expression changes. He seems so hurt by my last words.

"Rose, please don't do this. Can't you see that she is agai-"

I lift my hand and stop him. "I don't want you to do anything because I trust you, Dimitri." He was holding his breath and now he exhales relieved. I put my hand on his cheek and then get it to the nape of his neck. "I really trust you. I know you have nothing to do with this." In a swift movement, he pulls me closer and latches himself to me, into a tight embrace, like he wouldn't want to ever let go of me.

"Gosh, Roza. I am sorry you had to get through this. I swear would never do such a thing to you. I would neve-"

"I know, Dimitri. I know." I reassure him as I walk my fingers on his back and he brushes his nose along my neck.

And I know who is behind this thing too. The message is too conveniently written in English and it comes just at the most opportune moment. Why didn't she write to him any other time? I mean, Tasha was standing just outside the house this morning. This is too much of a coincidence. I must say it took me way too much to figure it out and it makes me even more angrier that I have let myself fooled by this thing! This bitch keeps on playing with us with crappy games. It's the only thing she can cling to. The only thing she could do now, to try to tear us apart. Well, she should find some other thing because this cheating thing is not going to work again. I almost fell into her trap once and I was close to doing something foolish. I won't be fool enough to do this twice. God, if I am ever going to see her again, she will fucking regret doing this. This is a promise.

We got back downstairs because someone would have eventually come for us and we didn't want them to know and we even told them that it was something work-related just so that they won't worry, but of course, Lissa sensed that something wasn't right between Dimitri and I. Before I would go back to our room for the night she pulled me aside from the others and asked me what happened. Well, I couldn't lie to her, so I told her about the text. Plus, I needed someone to talk to about what happened and to help me make some sense about it all. Someone to assure me that I was right with my assumption. And oh, the things Lissa said about Tasha and what she would do to her, man. I think the hormones helped her come with new ways to torture people. But like me, she was sure too that Dimitri would never do anything like this and that Tasha was the one responsible for what happened and this made me calm down completely.

* * *

 **Day 3**

Last night things were a little tensed between us after the text thing. Well, tensed is a little too much to describe it. But there was still a little something in the air. I really trusted in what he told me and I knew that Tasha was behind the incident, but I couldn't quite shake off the shock of seeing what that woman wrote, of knowing how far Tasha was able to take things, and I kind of kept some distance between us for as long we were down into the living room. I know it wasn't fair for me to do so but I needed some time to process what happened, to let things settle in my mind, and he didn't push me and let me deal with the matter. But after my discussion with Lissa, I went upstairs and we talked some more about that matter, and we ended up in each other's embrace as we fell asleep and everything was good between us again. Just like it will always be.

Now, as I open my eyes, I see Dimitri, sitting on his side, with his head propped on his left hand, looking at me dreamily, his other hand gently passing through my brown waves, and he takes a strand of my hair and slowly rounds it on his finger, the leases the curls he has just made.

A smile spreads on my lips at this sight. "What are you doing?"

"Watching you sleep."

I lift one of my eyebrows. "Um, that is kind of creepy, comrade, don't you think?" eh, well, I have done it a couple of times too. Fine, I confess, I did it more than a couple of times. Yeah, I am a weirdo too. I simply catch myself admiring him. But I just can't help myself. He is so sweet when he is sleeping!

He smiles in response and moves his hand down on my back, dragging me closer to him. I bury my face into his chest, letting his scent intoxicate me and I entangle my legs with his, dissolving the little distance left in between us.

I look at him with a questioning glare as he is now watching me with some concern into his eyes. Is there something wrong? Can't we have just a second of peace, please? Please tell me that there is nothing wrong going on again. His hand travels back up and he rests it on my cheek, with his thumb tracing gentle lines up and down.

"Rose. About last night-" he begins but I stop him by placing one finger on his lips. He already told me that he is sorry way too many times. And it is not even his fault.

"Dimitri, I already told you. I trust you and I know that you had nothing to do with that. I won't fall for Tasha's shit, period. Nothing else matters, okay?" he smiles lightly and nods, and so the subject is set aside. I don't want to think about it anymore. It doesn't matter for us. We know better than this.

"Roza, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do." I respond and lift my head to place a little kiss on his soft lips.

He deepens the kiss and pushes me into the mattress as he comes halfway above me, one of his thighs getting to press between my legs. I simply love feeling his weight on top of me. It makes me feel the safest in the world. I get my hands into his hair and we kiss until we remain breathless. But we don't stop kissing, feeling like we aren't able to get enough of each other. And as we do that, my hands get adventurous and I slip them under his T-shirt, starting something I didn't really think about.

His slightly cold hand finds its way under my pyjama blouse too, sending shivers down my spine, and begins to massage the flesh on my side body, heading slowly upward. Wow, doesn't he get heated up really fast? But well, I kind of started this, no? And well, I do get heated up fast too. How could I not? Have you ever seen this man?

His hand finally reaches my breast and plays with it. I swear this man has a thing for this part of my body; he gets easily distracted by them all the time. He slowly pinches on my nipple and I moan lightly into his mouth.

"Umm, Dimitri?" I say as I pull my mouth away by tilting my head backward.

"What?" he says as he moves his kisses down on my neck and his hand descends too, heading towards the waistband of my pants and he runs one finger along it.

"Um, I don't think we should be doing this." I say that, but it's not like I want him to stop. I like it too much. And I don't do anything to stop him.

"Why not?" he already lifted my blouse and is now looking at me with a bothered glare.

"We are in your family's house?" I mean, isn't this a good enough reason to stop? He simply takes my blouse off and then raises an eyebrow questioningly like he doesn't see any problem there. "You know, someone might come in here." I try to be the voice of reason. Gosh, sometimes I would turn into Lissa at the most unfortunate moments. Like now for example.

"They'll knock first." he smiles and begins to place hot kisses on my abdomen and my muscles contract at his touch.

"Yeah, but.."

"Roza." he stops and lifts his head. "All you have to do" he says coming up and kisses my lips "is to" down on my neck "try to" my left breast "keep quiet" (yeah, emphasis on try to; I am not very good at this part; one time that lady that is living next door left her house and the person who was taking care of it came knocking at our door, thinking that I was in some kind of pain; poor guy, the look he had on his face as he realized what was really happening as he saw Dimitri opening the door, only wearing the sheet around his waist) he kisses my abdomen "and" lower "enjoy" he ends giving me a devilish smile and I clutch the sheet into my fists, my mind clouding from the anticipation of what's coming as his fingers find the waistband of my underpants and pulls them down along with my pants.

* * *

Tomorrow is Paul's tenth anniversary and after Dimitri and I skipped breakfast deciding to enjoy the other instead of food, we find Lissa and Christian, and the four of us are now on our way to the town so that we would buy him a nice present.

We get to the center of the little town and look around for stores that might have something that the boy would like. It is such a nice town, having as a ''heart'' a gigantic gazebo with some fairy lights on it that must look superb at night, which is encircled by small shops, diners and coffee shops, every one of them seeming to be a family business. And the people seem to know each other very well, as they would greet each other and smile and talk things I don't understand. It's such a nice community. They are very nice with us too because as we pass them, they smile and nod in our direction. Some people even come and hug Dimitri as I suppose they know him.

I guess that it's a thing, no matter in which country you are, for old women to come to you and pinch your cheek and tell you how big you got since they last saw you. And it's so funny to see Dimitri having to bend down to let them do that. It happened for six or seven times now, and if it were me in his place I would have already got sick of it, but Dimitri doesn't argue and he lets them do their thing and then entertains the ladies for some minutes, speaking calmly with them. Ah, he's such a nice guy. And he's my nice guy.

I come from a little town too but this is not the atmosphere that I have grown up with. This warm attitude towards each other is only present during the holidays, but even then it is just a charade. Everybody is just mimicking the Christmas spirit and I don't like it at all. And for the rest of the year, it is all about gossiping and envious glares. The only really nice people I knew back home were our street neighbors, the Gambinis, a nice couple of Italians that knew how to prepare the best pasta I have ever eaten, along with Lissa, Christian and another classmate of mine, Mason Ashford, who was my best partner in crime back in high school. God, it's a miracle that the both of us even got to graduate. We should have been expelled on so many occasions, but, being the ''good educational influence'' she is around town, it was a good thing for me that my mother had something to say every time I would get in trouble. So, I guess that in her own way, she still loved me. Or she didn't want me to be a complete failure and decided to do something about it. I haven't figured out which one of that was her real reason.

We have lost Lissa and Christian along the way because they have found this nice shop that was selling baby stuff and now they are choosing teeny-tiny dresses and cute toys for their beloved baby girl; this if Yeva was right with her prediction. We decided to split up and meet at the car in one hour so that the shopping wouldn't last the entire day. We have to go back home and help the others with the preparations for Paul's birthday. It is an important event after all: getting to a two digits age, and everybody has to bring their contribution somehow.

For me, it surely was a special day, the day I turned ten. I got to kiss this boy that I really liked and as we were trying to hide from the other kids, wanting to be alone, we climbed up the tree in front of my house. And after our little special moment, I was too absorbed by his deep green eyes to observe that the branch under me was too thin to support me for longer and I fell. And this is the story of how I broke my left arm. But if you ask me, it was totally worth it.

Now, I am with Dimitri into a toy store. My eyes first land on a cute teddy bear and I pick it up, turning it to all sides and I inspect it.

"He won't like it." Dimitri informs me.

"Oh, sure. But I wasn't thinking about Paul."

He smiles. "Lissa's baby?"

And this time I smile. "Not really."

He frowns. "Then?"

"Well, you'll laugh if I tell you."

"No, I won't. Tell me."

"The thing is that I really like it. It is really cute and it is -"

A big smile spreads across his lips. "Let me get this straight. You want it for you, no?" he says amused.

"See? I told you you'll laugh." I say pouting. But the thing is that I have a weakness when it comes to fluffy things.

"No, I am not laughing." he says as he takes the teddy bear from me and inspects it too, then comes closer to me and whispers into my ear. "We'll do this. We'll take this teddy bear for ours, Roza."

I look at him confused. "Our what?"

He chuckles lightly. "Our baby, Rose." he says and lets me bewildered into the middle of the store, without a proper response. All I do is to smile and nod, and he kisses my forehead. So it seems that I am not the only one getting this kind of thoughts since we arrived here.

And then we look at some train sets, trying to pick up one suitable for the boy's age. We have like four of them in front of us now and we compare them.

"What about this? It has more pieces. It will take him more time to assemble it, at least. And after that, he can play with it for as long as it lasts."

"Yes, but some of them are very small. If he is going to lose some of them around the house, and he will, I am sure, the little one might find them and put them into her mouth."

"Oh, right." he really thinks about everything. Is there even something that gets past him? "So, this one is out. What about the ot-" my phone begins to ring.

I take it out of my backpack and I see a number that I don't recognize. What is the thing with everybody having our numbers? And I am very curious to find out who is this person who is calling me now.

"Hathaway here." I respond tired of all these unknown people calling me or Dimitri.

"Get outside." I hear faintly. Or at least this is what I understand. What? No introduction? So mannered. And is this a woman speaking?

"Excuse me? Who am I talking with?"

"Get out of the toy shop." I hear clearly this time, as she emphasizes every word. I can't confuse this annoying voice. Fucking Tasha. Oh, this is just perfect. I am so going outside now to make her get her shit together and leave us alone for good. I'll rip all the hairs out of her head in this very moment. I am so done with her. I am going to keep on to my promise.

"Sorry, I can't hear you clearly. Please wait until I go somewhere else. I'll head outside." I respond and gesture to Dimitri that I am going out.

She already hung up before I got outside. As I close the door of the shop behind me, I see her on the other side of the street, waiting for me. I walk the distance between us very fast, not getting my eyes off her the whole time. She is not moving a muscle. She is just leaning relaxed on some wall with her hands crossed around her chest and a smug smile on her face. What does she think she accomplished? I'll tell you. Nothing. She didn't do shit. And she never will.

I stop in front of her, imitating her position, except the fact that I am not that relaxed. On the contrary. My whole body is tensed up and I can feel the anger flowing through me, heating every part of my body, just as I remember the scare I got last night because of her.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growl.

"Nothing much. I just came around to visit this beautiful town." She gestured around with her hand. "I heard it's nice here during summer, don't you think so?"

"Yeah, of course you did." I roll my eyes in exasperation. I am not into the mood to play games with her. "Exactly when we are here too. _What_ _a coincidence._ It's like you have some kind of magnet when it comes to us. We can get a restraining order against you, you know?" not like this would keep her away; nothing seems to make her give up. But I might try this too. Maybe she will listen to my threat. It's like, my last peaceful resort. "So stop following us around if you don't want the things to degenerate."

"But you are not the reason I am here." she says innocently. "You think that the whole world revolves around you, darling. But it doesn't. You don't interest me."

"Oh, I totally forgot. Silly me. It revolves around you, right?"

She just smiles and nods, being proud that I finally understood this. But the only thing I understand is that she really is crazy as fuck. I have no other doubt about this now.


	47. Chapter 47

"So what do you want now?"

"How's the shopping going? Have you convinced him to buy you any diamonds yet? Oh. What about some pearls?"

I ignore her idiotic questions. I don't have time for chatter. And I don't need any diamonds or pearls from Dimitri. This bitch keeps on insisting that I am with him for his money and I just want to slap the shit out of her. I am not like her. All I want for him doesn't involve money.

"What, did you come here to take interest in our shopping list?" I ask snarly and she shrugs. "So, you are not in town for me, fine, be it." even though, let's be honest. We all know why she is here. "Why are you here, in this exact place, right in this very moment? Just a coincidence, no?" in response, she shakes her shoulders again. "You came to brag about the little Nina thing, right? Well, let me inform you tha-"

"Who's Nina?" she asks, a scowl appearing on her face and she changes her body position, becoming very interested in this subject. And for a second, she almost tricked me. Ugh, she is so playing the innocent one now. She should have been an actress. This job suits her better. "I don't know any Nina."

"Yeah, _of course_ you don't know any Nina. Because you are her in fact, right? She's your alter ego, no? You _crazy_ bitch. Stop _fucking_ around Tasha! I know it was you who sent that stupid text."

A grin appears on her face and she waves her hand around, dismissing things. "Fine, fine, Rose. I was just fucking with you. But it is not what you think."

I cross my hands over my chest once more. "No really? Illuminate me then."

And her expression softens and I swear she looks like someone in need of a hug right now. "I know who is Nina." she confesses, and now I become very silent, waiting to see what lie she is ready to tell me. Or maybe for once she will be honest and tell me that she was behind it all. "She is…" and I expect her to start laughing or something, but that doesn't happen. "Let's say that Nina is one of his…" and she waves her hand around some more, like these words would be very hard for her to say out loud. "Favorites. I guess that is the proper way to describe her." she finally says and then shrugs, an expression of resignation on her face. "But what can you do? He never got tired of her until now. And I really don't know why. What she is offering to him..." she says lastly and I swear I can feel the hurting in her voice.

But to hell if I am going to let her little charade impress me. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. I don't believe a word you are telling me, so cut the crap, Tasha. I am not in the mood right now for your acting." and her lips curl into a sad smile and she shrugs lightly, like saying 'well, it's your business if you don't want to trust me'. And really now. How _could_ I trust her, after all the shit she made me go through? "I only came out here to tell you to your face that your little plan failed. Again. So why don't you just stop playing like a five-year-old the same he-is-cheating-on-you thing over and over again and move the hell on with your life?! Go home and work on your creativity, okay? It surely needs improvement."

And at this, she rolls her eyes exasperated. "I _don't know_ what you are talking about. This time, I _didn't do_ anything, Rose. I know that that is hard to believe, but it wasn't me." She continues to deny, seriousness filling her voice. Damn, she's good. Maybe she took acting classes once. I am sure she graduated at the top of her class.

"I am sure that you don't have anything to do with this. Now go and tell this to someone who actually believes you."

"Look. As much as I would like to take credit for anything that you say that happened, I have no connection with that. Not this time. I only came into town for my own amusement. To be honest, it is so funny to see the faces you make at my sight. Remember yesterday morning?" she asks smiling and I throw her the ugliest look I am capable of. "So stop blaming _me_ for _his_ romantic escapades." she gets defensive this time. "You wanted him, right? So now you'll have to deal with this kind of things. I did too when we were together. And it's not like I didn't warn you about that, no?"

 _"Fuck you,_ Tasha." I turn around to leave. I decide she is not worth the trouble and anyway, she is just talking shit. Dimitri is not anymore the man she was with.

"How is _Lissa?"_ she changes the subject and her words remind me of that night and I become angrier if that is even possible. I turn again, facing her and as I see the grin on her face, I am so close to exploding. She surely knows how to keep the conversation going.

"Don't you _fucking_ speak of her, you understand?" my words become louder and some people turn their heads in our direction but I don't give a single fuck.

"Oh, so who should I speak about then? Maybe _Dimitri? Christian?_ Oh, what's your mother's name?"

"Tasha." I growl, clenching my fists and digging my nails into my palms to keep me from doing something really bad. "Stop it. _Now."_

"Um, _Janine,_ right? And your father is _Abe,_ no? Who do you think would be the next one to get hurt because of you, huh? It's your choice. I'm feeling generous today."

"You wouldn't do that." I try to seem confident in my words, but there is a slight doubt in my voice. Would she do that? "You are not that stupid to hurt them. You would be the first person the police would come after, and you know that very well." I tell her the same things Dimitri assured me of yesterday morning, trying to convince her of that. Or maybe to convince myself of that.

She smiles again. "Well, maybe I won't." I let out a small sigh of relief. I knew it. All she can do now is to talk. "But maybe I will." and at this, my body tenses up again. "You never know. Isn't that the beauty of life?" she keeps on fucking with my head.

And this is too much already. She has something with me, okay, I get it. Not really, because this woman is fucking insane. But everything ends when she picks on the ones that I love. When she threatens to hurt them. At the thought of her even laying a finger on any them, something snaps inside me. You know what? If she thinks that no one can do anything to her, let me disagree. She is not untouchable. _I_ can touch her. And I am going to exemplify it right here and right now. I extend my hand to punch her, but to my utter surprise, she has seen it coming and stops my hand and with her free hand, she plants a fist into my face, not giving me any chance to dodge it, and making my bottom lip bleed, the coppery taste covering my tongue. This gesture of hers only makes the blood in me boil harder. How dare she hit me when she knows she is the guilty one?

And this is the only hit she manages to throw in my way that actually touches me because after I wipe the blood from my mouth, in two seconds, I throw myself at her, making her fall on the ground. I get on top of her and throw punches in her direction, making sure each of them is painful.

"Don't you _dare_ come near them! You are insane if you think I am going to allow you to do them any harm, you hear me?" I scratch her cheek, feeling the thin skin tearing under the pressure of my nails and leaving behind three long, red marks, and she lifts her arms to cover her face but I take them out of my way and she twists around under my weight trying to escape, but she has no chance against me. This time she is so not getting away. "You are going to regret this Tasha! Everything you did! Stay away from us or I'll end you! Or better! I will end you now so I won't have to do it later!"

Some people have gathered around us, not so many that would actually be able to try to take me off her but some still try to stop me, but I pull away from their grip as I yell at them to leave me alone and in my haze, I even hit a person or two as they get a hold of me. I have only one thing in my mind: to hurt her. And there is no one on this earth able to stop me, not even her, who is desperately wigging under me.

But some strong hands encircle my upper arms and pull me away from Tasha, getting me up to my feet. I can't turn around to punch the one who is holding me, and I can't get out of its grip either. In fact, he is holding me so tight I can't move at all! How dare he?

"No! Let _go_ of me!" I say wiggling left and right violently as the person is still holding on to me. The grip tightens. "Let me _go! Now!"_ I don't want to give Tasha the chance to get up to her feet.

"Roza, _stop."_ I hear Dimitri saying to me, right next to my ear, his calm and warm voice piercing through the fog that was clouding my mind and making it disappear.

Hearing him speaking to me, I stop struggling and he weakens his hold on me, but doesn't let go of me completely. And he has thought very well about this because as a woman is helping Tasha rise slowly from the ground, with blood dripping from her nose, looking at me like she thinks that she could kill me with her glare, I still want to get out of his grip and punch her. She takes a step forward. God, she is so shameless! I want to step forward too, but Dimitri doesn't let me get closer to her.

"Tasha, just go. And don't come near us again." Dimitri stops her, tiredness filling his voice. "Don't make things harder for yourself."

She wipes the blood away from her dripping nose and spits on the alley the one that got into her mouth. And then this bitch has the courage to open her mouth, and I want to throw myself at her again, but Dimitri stops me, gluing my back to his front and encircling a hand around my waist to make sure that he keeps me there for good. And gosh, why does he have to be so fucking strong? I have no chance at getting away.

"You will regret this, Rose. You too, Dimitri." she says, venom filling her voice and turns around, leaving that place, making the best decision in her entire life.

"Yeah? Show me what you've got, you fucking bitch! Just try and come near me again. Next time I will make sure that I break something in you!" I yell after her, trying to break free and go after her without any success, but she just continues her road, not turning her head in our direction, not even once, her feet taking her away hurriedly.

As the people see that the show is over and that things are safe again into their little neighbourhood, they leave and Dimitri and I remain alone on the street.

And finally, because I am not struggling anymore, the only thing that is still moving fast being my chest as I take deep breaths, Dimitri lets go of me and I turn around to face him. I am breathing with much difficulty and I try to calm myself as well as I can. All I want is to follow her and finish what I stared. Whatever that would be. I am capable of so many things in this exact moment.

He places his palms on my shoulders and makes me pay attention to him. "Rose, what the hell were you _thinking?"_ I look at him confused. His face is harsh, just like his words. _"This,_ Rose. What does _this_ mean? What were you _doing?"_

"I just couldn't let her-" he has no idea what she told me!

He shakes his head. "No, Rose. This was _so stupid_ from you." he says shaking me a little, like he would try to wake me up. "Do you get this? You could have gotten yourself hurt." his tone gets now softer and then he sighs. "You don't know what she could have-"

"Oh, so I am stupid, huh? God, Dimitri! I don't care! Don't you get it? I _don't care_ about me! She threatened my friends, my family. She threatened _you,_ Dimitri. I just couldn't let her do that anymore. She needs to stop!" I begin to cry because I feel helpless and all the anger in me had to find another way out somehow. "I hate her _so much!"_ I say, the phrase coming out as a cry and I fist the material of his T-shirt. "And no one can do anything about her! Not _you,_ not _anyone._ _I_ can't do anything about her! She just keeps on getting away with everything and I can't take this anymore. Nobody can touch her! That is unfair!" Dimitri places his hands on my shoulders, trying to calm me, but in my anger, I push them off me. "And that man took all the blame on him and she walked away unpunished for what happened to Lissa! And now she is making all these following around things and threatens my loved ones! What can we do about that? What would a restraining order help us with, huh? It's fucking useless! She won't stop anyway. She will find a way to do something again. And I can't take this anymore. I am so done with her!" and Dimitri simply watches me as I am going crazy in plain sight, not letting him reach for me, and his expression gets back to being harsh, and even though all I want is for him to take me into his safe embrace, I don't do it and I know I am wrong to do so, but my body is practically shaking with anger.

Some seconds later, Christian and Lissa come our way. They want to know what happened to me, why I am doing such a scene outside, and Dimitri tells them briefly what he knows, not giving them many details because he doesn't really know them, he just knows what I managed to tell him in between sobs. From the first second I see them, I try to get my shit together and I stop crying shortly after they come back.

Lissa quickly comes my way and inspects my face for some injury.

"Liss, I am fine. It's nothing. She didn't manage to touch me." I try to make her stop freaking out because this is not good for her nor for her baby, but she doesn't stop until she is sure that I am okay. At least on the outside, because on the inside, I am a total mess.

"God, I wish I was here." Christian speaks all of a sudden. "I would have shown her what- God, which way did she go? I am going after her right now." he continues, full of anger. He is even worse than me and this is totally understandable. He could have lost so many things that night because of Tasha. But before he could make something more reckless as I did earlier, Lissa goes to him and calms him down.

"We should go back." Dimitri says ending everything and we head to the car obediently. His voice right now would make anyone listen to him.

Before we enter the car, Lissa reminds us why we came here in the first place.

"Um, guys, maybe this is not an appropriate moment to ask this, but… did you pick a gift? Should we go back empty-handed? I mean…" she asks unsure.

"No, we didn't. Rose was missing for too long and I went outside to check what she was doing and-" and yeah, we know the rest.

* * *

So now Lissa and Christian are back to the toy store to buy that train or anything they think is appropriate. I was in no condition to go back to gift shopping. I might have snapped at the saleslady or something, so I decided to wait for them, and Dimitri remained with me, probably not having the trust to leave me alone. And he is kind of right because I still want to go after Tasha.

I am leaning on the car's closed door and I can still feel my blood boiling with anger. Even after some minutes from the incident passed, I can't shake that fucking feeling. I hastily pound my foot on the ground to consume the energy passing through me. I so wish that I had more time alone with Tasha. She didn't get enough of what she deserved. And she deserves so many bad things.

Dimitri isn't speaking to me now and this only makes the things more fun, what can I say. Is he mad at me for yelling at him and pushing him away earlier? _Of course he is; what do you expect? You acted like a total bitch, Rose_. I didn't want to take my anger out on him, but it just happened for him to be there when I went apeshit. I know I should apologize to him but I don't really feel like talking. In fact, I am more afraid of what other shit might get out of my mouth and of how worse this situation might get. So I decide the best thing I can do is to keep my mouth shut.

After one minute of looking at me with his arms crossed and me trying to avoid his eyes, looking down at the asphalt, he unlocks the car and gets something from the inside and comes back in front of me. He is holding a bottle of antiseptic and some wool. He comes closer and places one hand on my cheek, lifting my head and I fix my eyes on his lips as I don't really have the courage to look him in the eyes, and with the other hand, he pats the wet wool on my bottom lip. It stings and I pull my head away hissing. He turns my head back slowly and he repeats the gesture, patting more gently the area now. We are very close, his warm breath brushing on my skin, and I study him as he is very concentrated on his task, his hand moving carefully over my lips. Even when I am acting like this, he is still nice to me. God, now I feel even sorrier. In my attempt not to start crying again, I grab the first thing I lay my fingers on, the edge of his duster, and hold it tight. _Gosh, Rose. Why are you like this, huh_?

He finishes and then slowly plants a little kiss on the corner of my mouth, just beside the split and I brush my nose along his cheek. When he pulls away, he chuckles lightly while shaking his head.

"What's that funny?"

"You."

I frown, getting again upset. "Yeah, really?" I ask sarcastically and his smile grows a little more. "First I'm stupid and now funny, no?" I cross my hands over my chest and I look away.

He comes closer again and passes a hand through my hair and makes me look at him, then sighs. "Oh, Roza." And I feel that moralistic speech ready to leave his mouth but he stops himself just before I open my mouth to shush him. Instead of that, he says this: "You know," he moves his mouth closer to my ear and whispers. "It was so hot to see you go all warrior style earlier." he says and places his palms on my back, dissolving the distance between us, his forehead resting now on mine. "It kind of turned me on seeing you that fierce."

At that, I laugh a little myself and I feel the anger beginning to dissolve for goods now. Only he could have turned this whole bad thing into something else. I wonder how he decided to give up on his speech, tho. But I must say I am glad he did.

"Dimitri, sorry I was a bitch with you again, but I-"

"Shhh. It's fine."

I tilt my head and touch the tip of his nose with mine, the little smile from earlier coming back to my lips. His hand finds mine and as he tries to encircle our fingers, pain shots through my hand and I pull it away, a small wince leaving my mouth. He frowns and slowly lifts my hand to inspect it. I haven't realized until now, but it started to swollen. Man, this means that I planted some good hits on Tasha. Great! Exactly what I wanted. I hope they hurt her as fuck. Oh, and I would surely like to see the bruises she is going to get.

"Does it hurt you?" he asks and slowly presses a finger on my skin.

"A little. But it's nothing you should worry about, really." I say and try to move my fingers, to prove him that I am fine, but well, as I do that, it hurts more than a little and I pull a face.

His face again turns to that concern from earlier and he lifts my hand to his lips and kisses it, just like you would do to a little kid. As he does that, as crazy as it might sound, the pain subsides a little. Not that I would really believe that thing with ''I'll kiss it so that it would heal faster'', but his touch has always had this soothing effect over me.

He puts a strand of hair behind my ear. "Come, my little fighter. Let's get you something cold for that swelling." He says smiling again.

And on a normal day, I would argue with anyone who would call me little, but I overlook it, as it comes from him and as the thing that is happening now is nice and I don't want to ruin it.

* * *

After we get home, I get away with a little lie when it came to my split lip and the frozen peas bag on my hand. The fact that it was backed up by the other three that "were there when it happened" only made things easier. It felt wrong for me to lie to Dimitri's family and I felt sorry for that, but all of us decided that it would be better for them not to find out the truth about what Tasha is doing to us. We would simply worry them for nothing. And all we all want is for this thing to be done.

* * *

 **Day 4**

Today it's an incredibly beautiful and warm fin August day, so we decide that the birthday party would eventually take place outside. We make it picnic style, laying a bunch of blankets into the yard, putting the amazing food that Dimitri's mother made with so much love on some tables and bringing the other decorations on the porch, making the house look even prettier. Plus, it would be better for the kids to play outside rather than inside the house too. They could move more freely and we didn't need to worry about them breaking anything around the house and hurting themselves.

Around twelve, everybody arrived, both kids and parents. The yard is now full with jolly people. It's so nice to see this community together. They seem very nice people.

Lissa and I have matching outfits. I am wearing a long wavy summer dress, with straps and some nice sandals. It is a white dress, that has big, beautiful light pink flowers on it. The only difference between Lissa and I is that Lissa's dress is light blue, and is highlighting her beautiful hair. It's funny that she is about four months pregnant, but you can barely observe her belly or any change, in fact. It is just a little bump. I just can't wait to see her walking around with her belly ahead, hands on her hips. It is such a funny image in my head.

As I am thinking about that, I feel a pat on my shoulder.

"Rose? Is that you?"

Wait a second. I know this voice. I turn around. It's… "Adrian! Hey! What are you doing here?" this shit is really confusing. Since when is Dimitri inviting business partners at family events?

He chuckles. "He still didn't tell you, no?" he asks as he's shaking Dimitri's hand.

And it only makes me more confused. I turn and look at Dimitri. "What you didn't tell me?"

"Well… Adrian and I are cousins." Dimitri says, breaking the news to me.

My jaw drops. "You have got to be kidding me! Are you two fucking with me?" He and Adrian shake their heads. "And when did you plan on telling me?"

He shrugs. "Well, it didn't seem important." and I squint my eyes at him. And I want to pick on Adrian too, but Olena comes and snatches him away, and as he goes with her, he gives me a cheeky smile as in saying 'I have gotten away this time.'

So I turn back to Dimitri. "Why didn't you tell me about that?"

"Rose." he says cupping my cheeks. "Really. I didn't have any hidden reason. I just thought that it wasn't important." and I let it pass. It's not like when I met Adrian my relationship status with Dimitri was that pink so that he would break the news to me.

"Fine. Wouldn't it have been easier if one of you would have told me? But no, you two let me think for so long that you were mortal enemies."

And at this Dimitri chuckles. "Well, that's a story for another time."

"What did you say, comrade?"

"Nothing." he says smiling.

"Dimitri?" I cross my arms over my chest. "Tell me."

And instead of answering to me, he takes my hand and drags me away from the front porch.

"Where are you taking me?"

"I want you to meet someone." and as he is obviously avoiding the subject, I decide to drop it. But I will make sure he will tell me one day.

* * *

Everybody seems to be having a good time. I can't really understand a word they are speaking, but from their gestures and expressions, I guess that everything is going just fine. The kids are playing around and laugh and squeal, filling the air with their happiness. It's a really happy day in the Belikov family and I am happy too. All my worries don't seem to matter anymore as I am here.

Lissa and Christian are now sitting on the porch and they are painting different things on kids' cheeks, a queue being formed by the little kids around them. They are so excited and they can't wait for their turn. In fact, only Lissa is doing the painting, as she has been drawing ever since she was five and her talent is simply amazing. Christian is there just to keep her company. Since he found out that she is pregnant, he hasn't let her do anything that would bother her. He was taking so much care of her and it is so cute to see this side of him, as he would have always played the tough guy.

I, on the other hand, I have nothing to do now. I don't know anyone else around here besides the other women, but they are all busy with entertaining the guests. Oh, and Adrian, of course, but he is busy too, as some old ladies seem to have kidnapped him for their own entertainment. Old ladies really seem to have a thing for cute guys. They simply enjoy nagging them, and poor Adrian didn't have a chance at getting away.

I have sat on a blanket with Dimitri for a while, but along the way, little Zoya came around and kidnapped Uncle Dimka. Damn, she is so cute when she is calling him like that, plus that she has a strong accent that makes her even more adorable. So, I remain alone there and feast myself on the wonderful black bread that Dimitri's mother has baked this morning. God, I am so going to get fat if I keep on munching on it.

 **DPOV begins**

I take Zoya into my arms and we head towards the back of the house because she told me she wanted to show me something. As we get closer, the girl urges me to put her down. After I do so, she runs towards my mother's flower garden, giggling and telling me that I can't catch her, and I play her little game, following her, and making her giggling to get louder.

Seeing her like this, she somehow reminds me of Rose. No, it is the other way around in fact. Despite her age, Rose still has that childish nature. Except when it comes to other things, that usually take place into the bedroom. Or when she wants to, of course. But besides that, she is simply herself, not giving a damn about what others think, living one day at a time, free and careless. Just like a kid would. I love this side of her. She is always spontaneous and every single day with her is a surprise for me.

"Here! Come heeeere!" the little girl calls for me.

I go her way and she is now next to a bunch of daisies, catching her breath.

"What did you want to show me?"

"These!" she says excited, gesturing towards the flowers.

"And what should we do with them?" not that I don't already know.

"Can you make me a crown like you did last time? Please, uncle Dimka. I want to be a princess again."

A smile appears on my face. "Of course. Let's pick some flowers."

We sit on the grass and I weave the crown as Zoya is handing me the daisies, being my little helper. After I finish, I begin to make a second one and she looks at me with a confused expression.

"Who is that for?" she asks crossing her little arms over her chest, seeming some kind of jealous. I guess she wants to be the only one wearing a flower crown.

"It's for Rose. Is that okay?" I ask for permission. She stops for a second, considering things, then goes to pick up some more flowers and hands them to me.

"We can both be princesses." she says and I continue to weave. After a minute, she speaks again. "Uncle Dimka?"

"Yes?"

"Do you love Auntie Rose?" she asks and looks at me with wide eyes, waiting for her answer.

"Yes, I do."

"How much"

"Very much."

"Like, from here to Africa?"

I shake my head. "More."

"More?" she asks in awe. "How much then?"

"From here to the moon."

"And back?"

"And back. That's for sure."

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

It is such a beautiful day today and I love the feeling of the sun brushing on my skin. Thinking about the imminent autumn, I am going to miss this feeling so much. One month is going to pass so easily, and six months of cold are going to pass really slowly. It always works like that. Thank God I have Dimitri to keep me warm at night. I love feeling his heat radiating on my skin.

And speaking of him, he is now coming back. Zoya is the first one who comes running my way and he follows, walking slowly. How can a man his size be so graceful in his moves? And good God, the way he looks now. He is wearing a pair of jeans that hangs perfectly on his hips and a light grey linen shirt, unbuttoned at his neck and with the sleeves rolled up, revealing his toned arms. Oh, he just passed his hand through his hair and smiled at my sight. My knees are weak, but thank God I am sitting down. And with the sun shining from behind him, he really resembles a god. With each passing day, I swear he gets more and more handsome. And this thing is doing no good to my brain.

"Rose! Rose! Look at what I made with uncle Dimka!" she says wiggling a flower crown in her hand. It is made from daisies and it's really beautiful. I help her put it on.

"You look like a little princess." I say and she giggles as she grabs the edges of her dress and makes a pirouette.

"You too. You too!" she says and I don't get what she means. I am surely no princess.

Dimitri has finally reached our spot and sits next to me, on his knees.

"Put it on, put it on!" the little one says excitedly. What is she talking about?

Dimitri smiles and reveals a flower crown from behind him, resembling Zoya's, only that it is bigger. He puts it on my head and puts some strands of my hair over my shoulder.

"Now you are a princess too! she says and goes away hopping happily, probably to show the other kids her flower crown.

"So this is what the two of you were up to, huh?" he nods. "So, how do I look, comrade?"

He cups my cheek and walks his thumb over my bottom lip. "Beautiful as always, milaya."

* * *

The family gathers into the same spot as Karolina is bringing her son's cake. Everybody is singing happy birthday and as I don't know the lyrics in Russian, I simply smile and clap my hands, keeping the rhythm of the song, not knowing what else to do. My eyes meet Lissa's as the ones around us change the rhythm to another song, and we both subtly laugh. We have no idea what these people are singing. But it sure is a jolly song.

Next, we are sitting on the blanket, eating cake and on my right is Sonja with her little big-eyed cutie pie in her embrace. But she won't stay still, no matter how much her mother tries to keep her into one place. She is wiggling left and right and finally, her mother sets her free, letting her roam on the soft blanket. Her first target is me. She comes my way and climbs herself on my lap, not giving me any chance to react. I extend my hands in her direction to catch her if she might fall, and she grabs my fingers with her teeny tiny hands. She has a good grip for someone so small.

"See? I told you she likes you." Sonja tells me.

I take a look at Dimitri, trying to tell him something like ''Yay! I did it. She really likes me and this time she isn't crying.'' and I catch him looking at me with a dreamy gaze and a warm smile on his face.

 **DPOV begins**

Firstly, her head turns my way; her face is full of surprise and happiness as she is still holding on to the little bug, but I am long gone, into a future where Roza is the mother of my children, and I simply respond to her glance with a warm smile. God, I want to marry this woman soon. Today. Even now.

"Liss, I guess we found our nanny." Christian says laughing.

"Nanny?" she asks disappointed, her attention still directed to the little human on her lap. She begins to move her hands left and right, wiggling Katya, just like dancing on a happy song. I am simply hypnotized. I remember the night she told me that she thought she was pregnant and I wish that it would have been for real. She would be around three months now if I am guessing right, and her belly would have already beginning to show. Gosh. I would have loved that.

"Auntie then?" the conversation continues.

"That's the spirit, Ozera." Rose says proudly.

The little one suddenly lets go of her hands.

"What's the matter?" she asks into that voice people usually use with little kids.

Katya looks at her for a second, then turns her attention into my direction and wiggles her hands, urging me to come closer. I scoop closer to Rose and we almost touch, and the smell of her perfume is sending my senses to heaven for the thousandth time today.

I tickle the little human and she giggles and squeals happily.

"Aw, guys. You would look so nice as parents." Viktoria says and I give her a smile. I guess we would.

Rose smile weirdly in response, feeling a little embarrassed I guess, because her cheeks turned pink and she tries to avoid eye contact with anyone around.

"And I am still waiting for some great-grandchildren from you, Dimka." my grandmother says, coming out of nowhere, just as she usually does. Well, I want that too. I can't wait to see our children playing around the house.

The others around us laugh and Rose shies away some more, looking down, trying to hide her heavily blushing. She looks totally adorable in this moment. Trying to catch her attention, without anyone noticing, I cover the distance between us with my hand and I brush my fingers on her outer thigh. She turns her glance towards me and I whisper to her: "I would like that too."

 **DPOV ends**

I think that even my ears turned red by now. His words shock me. Did he just suggest that he wants to have a family with me, right? I fully turn my head his direction and see him smiling. Well, the truth is that I wouldn't mind granting Yeva's wish either, that's for sure.


	48. Chapter 48

**Hey guys! I hope you are all having a great week!**

 **I just wanted to tell you all that I simply love your reviews and I am so glad that you really like my story :) I love you guys, you are the best.**

 **And there will still be more of Tasha. Because I still have an idea. Or two in fact. Yeah, there will be two things. And you will get to see what is the thing with Nina. And there will be a baby. And an engagement. And I am planning for a wedding too :) I just hope that I get enough ideas to write those chapters. I don't want to get your hopes up, but I will do my best**

 **Until Saturday, lots of love! :D**

* * *

Later on, the kids begin to water fight around the yard, taking advantage of the last warm days of this summer. And as we decided to move the party outside, this came as a good idea. As I watch them running around, an idea comes into my mind too. Such a good idea. I excuse myself and go find Paul, the only one who could help me, and I propose something to him. He seems excited by what I have to say and soon, all his friends become my little accomplices. I am so proud by my little pulling and I can't erase this smile from my face. I just can't wait to set things in motion.

I go back to where Dimitri is sitting and after I invent some lame excuse for the reason I need him, I hurriedly drag him with me towards the part of the yard where you can find some full trees, the perfect place for the kids to hide for the little ambush that I planned.

"Where are we going, Rose?"

"Oh, you'll see, comrade. We're almost there." I say grinning, not being able to keep hidden the excitement in my voice. "Now… Just wait…. _here."_ I say and place him just next to the trees, and I leave him behind, putting some distance between us, getting myself to a safe place. I turn around and face him. He didn't leave his assigned spot and a playful smile appears on my face. His eyebrow rises in confusion. He has no idea what is coming his way. "теперь!" I say, not being even sure if I pronounced it right because I have just learned this word two minutes ago from Paul, as our attack signal. Hell, I don't even remember what it means. But this doesn't matter because it does its job. Dimitri's face fills with surprise as he hears me speaking in Russian and he doesn't get the time to react to all the kids coming out of their hiding places and that now head his way, water guns in their hands, war cries escaping their little mouths. And they soak him from head to toe in a matter of seconds.

And man, I so did this to myself. I now need to fight the unstoppable urge to throw myself on him. All this water only made him more irresistible. The pair of jeans that he is wearing is now heavy from all that water that it absorbed and that threatens to expose him if he isn't careful. And his shirt, _God_. The thin material is now close-fitting on his lean muscles, emphasizing everything that matters on his upper body. Moving upwards some more, I catch him as he passes his hand through his wet hair, trying to get it out of his face. Just imagine this everybody: what if this whole scene would have happened on a beach and he would have just gotten out of the water, walking slowly towards me, the sun shining from behind him? Yeah, my ovaries would have exploded on sight. But I don't complain about this view either. My man is so fucking hot no matter the circumstances.

First, he gets rid of the kids around him by pretending he wants to catch them and they squeal and run away, giving up on watering him some more. And well, the next person who gets his attention is me. As he catches my eye, his mouth turns into a devilish smile, and then he speaks: "Roza, don't you want a hug?" and then he takes two steps towards me. Oh no! I know what is coming next and I don't think I'll like it. I guess I shouldn't have been admiring him and instead of that, I should have run away to take cover.

I turn around and start running around the yard, trying to get away from him. "No, Dimitri! Stay away!"

"Oh, come on. Don't you want a hug? Are you sure about that?" he asks, fakingly disappointed, following me around everywhere I go.

The kids have picked sides and they are now cheering us, hoping that I would escape somehow or that he would catch me. But who am I kidding here though? I have no chance to get away, I know that. I am just prolonging the inevitable. Sorry, my little supporters. You have picked the losing side.

"No, no, no." I keep on squealing as he gets closer and closer to me. And this damn long dress is not helping me at all. It is a miracle I haven't stumbled on it yet.

I grab the hems of my dress and lift them as I run some more, in the hopes that that thing would help me somehow. And it does, but for a too short while because he finally catches me by my hand and pulls me towards him in a fast movement, not giving me any other chance to react. But the grass around is wet from all that water that has been thrown around and as I turn, I slip. Into a desperate attempt to steady myself, I round my arm around Dimitri's neck, pulling him towards me, hoping that he can support the both of us. On a usual day, that would be the end of it. But that thing doesn't happen today because he slips too, and we end up falling. I land first on the ground on my back and he follows. I squeeze my eyes shut and writhe my whole body, waiting for him to land on me and turn me into a human pancake, but he has good reflexes and props himself on his forearms just in time, getting on top of me just partially, and we make contact, his weight pressing on my body. The chilly water from his clothes transfers to mine as well as the one on the grass under me, and I get goosebumps all over my body.

His face is so close to mine that I can feel his wet strands falling on my face, tickling my cheeks and his warm breath is brushing on my skin as he is catching his breath after the chase. I slowly open my eyes and I meet the dark brown swirls in his irises I often get lost into. And as he's watching me, I can see his pupils dilate and constrict into a mesmerizing movement. The whole world around us stops moving, and I can't hear anything except the way the both of us are breathing heavily from all this running around.

"Hi there comrade." I say smiling silly.

As I speak, his attention turns to my lips and he dissolves the distance between our lips, kissing me lightly. "Hey, Roza." he says and kisses me again, pressing our lips together a little harder now.

"Eeeeww"!" is the collective response coming from the little kids and the both of us smile, our lips still in contact. Yeah, we totally forgot we weren't alone out here.

As Dimitri helps me get up, I take a look around and I am one hundred percent sure that the whole yard has heard and seen everything. Yay! And silly me who thought that this place was kind of sheltered from everyone's eyes. But it seems that I was wrong. I look for a familiar face and my eyes land on Olena, who smiles lovely at us as she spots me too. Gosh, I so love this woman.

We excuse ourselves and head into the empty house to change.

 **DPOV begins**

After we enter the house, I take my phone out to check it for damage and it seems to work just fine for now. In fact, it is working so good that I receive a text just in this moment. I unlock it and I see that I received another text some time ago too. Both from Nina. Again. It's the fifteenth text I get in the last two days. Or maybe I got even more along these past days. I didn't bother to count them anyway. I open and read it. It says almost the same things as the previous ones. Nothing new. The same "Come on, Dimi, don't keep me waiting like this.", "This is how you treat me after I came to Russia for you?", "Tell me, did Rose find out about us?", and the most often written phrase "I really miss the way we were fooling around and I know you do too, so you'd better reply me, or the next time we meet you'll regret it, my love." After reading the text, I delete it. I don't even bother to respond. What would be the point? I'll take care of it first thing I get back to the States.

 **DPOV ends**

Aaaand there he is again, checking on his phone. He has no second of rest and this text he just received seems to piss him off. I just hope there isn't any problem back at the office. This will surely spoil his good mood. "Something important, comrade?" I ask him as we cross the hallway, making our way into the house. "Is it…?"

His head snaps up. "Huh? No, Rose. Just something about a delivery that won't arrive on time." he says and puts the phone away, into his back pocket. Thank God that it's just that. And thank God it isn't Tasha again. I knew it that she was the one behind all that Nina thing and after two more texts sent on Dimitri's phone just the night I kicked her ass, she gave up. That bitch. She is unbelievable! It made me so angry the fact that she continued to do that shit. But good for her that she stopped. Otherwise, I would have gone to her and have another box session with her face.

And even if he wants to admit it or not, this getaway here is a good thing for him too, not only for the rest of us, as I swear that I have never seen him more relaxed than he is now. This place seems to bring him so much peace, and it would be hard not to feel good with all these amazing people around. Things are fine, even though the problems don't seem to want to let us be. But we're dealing with everything just fine. And we are fine. So fucking fine, after a pretty long time.

Then an idea passes through my mind. Do you remember that he is still wet from head to toe, no? And he looks totally delicious right now, considering that as he is walking his soaked jeans are slowly making their way down on his hips. And this sight only brings naughty thoughts into my mind.

I clear my throat just to get his attention as it seems to have drifted away as his eyes are wandering out the window.

 **DPOV begins**

I direct all my attention to Rose, leaving aside all my thoughts and raise my eyebrow questioningly. A smile spreads on her lips. "Hey, comrade. Do you think they'll need us out there soon?" she asks, trying to sound innocent, but I immediately pick up on her playful tone.

I reciprocate her smile. "Don't know. Maybe not. Why are you asking?"

And she shrugs and turns her attention back to the path she is walking on. "For no particular reason." is her response and I can hear the amusement in her voice. Really, Rose? Is this how you want to play? I must say that it won't work because as she walks a little in front of me, I can see the way the wet material of her dress is rounding perfectly on all her curves and that is way too much for me to take and she already started something, so she is not getting away that easily.

But as she is getting up the first stairs, she gets to ascend them faster, hopping on them, seeming excited all of a sudden. Then she stops, turns my way, bites on her bottom lip and says: "Who gets into the bedroom first gets to be on top." winks and continues to climb up the stairs fast. Ah, how can you not love her spontaneity? But this thing is not fair; she has about ten stairs advantage. But if I think about it, I like my chances. For me, it's a win-win situation anyway.

It takes me a little to catch up with her, just as she reaches the top of the stairs. I catch her by her wrist and turn her around, then pick her up, as she is lifting her dress up and then rounds her legs on my waist, not having any intention of getting away. She chuckles and begins to play with my earlobe, gritting it with her teeth and her fingers slowly creep under my shirt, unsticking the wet material from my skin as I carry her to my room. I stop just before entering the room and press her back on the wall just beside the door and we kiss hungrily, having to get a taste of her now as I can't wait until we make our way in. I get one hand under her dress and touch the soft, wet skin of her outer thigh, and get moving up towards her back and she already starts moaning lightly at each stroke of mine on her heated skin. I can never seem to get enough of her. I think I never will. Still holding on to her, I open the door and head towards the bed.

"So, now that we got in bed at the same time...does that mean that we'll take turns then?" she asks giggling before I lay her in bed.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

 **Day 5**

I get up around six and my mouth is as dry as a desert. I try to get back to sleep, but it is practically impossible. So I resume to watching my man as he is sleeping, admiring his pouty face and I gently play with a strand of his hair, just to see how it feels when he is doing it with my hair, a habit of his that I simply love. But the thirst in me is way too strong for me to concentrate on other things for too long. So I slowly escape from Dimitri's warm embrace, careful not to wake him up and get out of the room. The whole house is very silent, as the usual wake up hour here is around eight. Or at least that is the hour the little ones start making noise around the house. I descend the coldish wooden stairs on my tippy toes, careful not to make that one damn stair squeak and head towards the kitchen to quell my thirst.

As I enter the kitchen, I can feel the wonderful smell of something being baked. And I know exactly what that something is. It's my favorite thing to eat in the entire world. So it seems that I am not the only one awake at this early hour.

"Good morning, Rose." Olena's soft voice greets me. "You couldn't sleep? Is there something bothering you?"

"Oh, no. Not at all. Everything is perfect. I was just thirsty."

"Would you like some tea? I can make you some if you want."

"No, you don't have to bother. A glass of water will do."

"Don't be silly. It's nothing, Rose." she says and already takes a mug from the cupboard and then sets a kettle with water in it on the stove, not giving me any other chances to say no.

I take a seat on one of the chairs and look at her as she goes back to preparing the breakfast I suppose. This reminds me of the times I would assist my own mother into the kitchen as I was a little kid. Gosh, who would have thought that I would actually miss her this much? And not only the old her. I miss even her disapproval side, the one personality that she is now approaching again and this says a lot about how much I think I changed lately. I must admit that I began seeing things differently. It's funny because I remember that all I ever wanted for my whole adolescence was to get away from her judgmental being. Nothing was enough for her, no matter what I did. But to my own surprise, things begin to change when you are not around a person for so long and you catch yourself missing them in ways you never did before. I make a mental note to call her when I get home. We haven't been talking for some time, ever since she suggested that I was some kind of whore. Well, we haven't been talking for some years, in fact. Not for real. Maybe it is time to try to reach to her, not to simply ignore her. Maybe it is time to try to repair things between us until it's too late to do so. And maybe I can hope that my father convinced her that Dimitri is, in fact, a great man and that would appease my efforts.

"Do you like it here?" she asks, disrupting my train of thoughts.

I can't help but smile. "Yes. I _love it._ Everything is so..so warm."

"Like the weather?"

I laugh lightly. "No, not the weather. I mean that everyone around here is so warm and loving. It's nice to have so many good people around."

"Oh, I get it." she says and places my tea next to me. "You know? You seem to fit in here just fine, Rose." she tells me smiling warmly and goes back to cooking. And oh my God! My whole being gets happy. Dimitri's mother just suggested that she likes me. These days couldn't have just gotten better. I like her too so much that I would hug her all day long. I don't know why, but these are the kind of actions that come to my mind when I am around her.

She is moving easily around the kitchen and with so much grace. I take a more careful look at her, studying every feature of hers as I sip on my tea. She is still a very beautiful woman, despite her age. And this thing reflects on all her children. When she was young I bet she had a long line of men fighting to be with her, to get her attention, trying to win her heart. I wonder why she chose Dimitri's father out of them all. What was he better with than anyone else? But most, it bothers me the fact that she chose to stay next to him even though he was treating her badly. How could she accept all that? Well, the unbelievable things that love makes us all do, right? I mean, look at what Tasha is capable of doing out of a broken heart. Okay, she is crazy too, but still. Love can make us crazy too, doesn't it?

I try to make some conversation in order not to keep things silent and weird between us. And to be honest, talking with her seems to be such an easy thing to do. Just like it is with Dimitri.

"Why are you here so early? You couldn't sleep, Ma'am?"

"Oh, no." she waves her hand around like it would be nothing to get up this early with no particular reason. |I always wake up first to make breakfast before everyone wakes up. I am here since five." Since _five_? "And please, don't call me Ma'am, Rose. You're family now so you can call me by my name." I am _what_? Oh, wow. This is awesome! It's like after so little time they decided to adopt me. And I surely don't complain about being part of this family.

I give her the biggest smile I am capable of and nod. Then I keep the conversation going. "And you do this _every single day_?" hell, I don't think I could do this in her place. It must be tiring for her. I mean, it is so hard for me to drag my lazy ass to work every morning and I just can't wait for weekends. Doesn't she feel the same?

"Yes, of course." she says it as it would be the most normal thing in the world. And I guess that for her, it really is.

"Don't you get bored of doing this every single day?"

"No. Because I love what I am doing for my kids." she says with a warm smile spread on her lips.

And _now_ I get it. Dimitri's father is not the reason she was still putting up with his shit so much time ago. Maybe she was still having feelings for him back then, maybe you cannot give up on love so easily, after so much time of living your lives together, but she was doing it for her kids, so that they won't grow up without a father figure. I am sure that she would be capable of doing anything for her family. There is so much love radiating from her and I bet that under her soft surface, she is way stronger than you might be inclined to believe at her first sight.

I don't know what he did to her or for how long that thing went on, but I suddenly hate him with all my being, without even meeting him. Anger fills my veins and I feel the urge to find him and give him a piece of my mind. I want to smash his face into the closest wall I find. How can you treat badly a woman like her? But I can only hope that Dimitri beat the shit out of him before kicking him out. And from how well I know my man, I bet that it hurt, even though he was only thirteen. A woman like her deserves to be treated like a queen and nothing less and that bastard has no idea what he has lost.

She turns and leans on the counter, looking at me. Did I do something? Another smile appears on her face and my worries wash away.

"You know? Dimka never brought any girl here." Wow, comrade. I am _very_ surprised by this. _None_? _Never_?

"Really?" I ask almost squealing in fact and a silly smile spreads on my face. This means that I must be someone really special to him, right? I won't lie. This thing brings me so much happiness. Because he is one very special person for me too. And he will always have a special place in my heart.

She frowns a little. "Wait. 'If I think better about it, there _was_ someone else. But I don't remember her name very well now. It is slipping my mind. It starts with a T, that I am sure of. Just give me a second." my stomach tightens at her words. Please don't say Tasha, please don't say her name, _please_. I don't know why, but I just don't want for her to have been here, for her to have met his family. I don't want for things to have gotten so far between the two of them. I don't want for things between to have been that serious. "Oh, I remembered it." I mentally cross my fingers. Please don't say her name. "'Her name was Tamara." she says smiling, but it is a sad smile as I can see. But I couldn't be more happier. The thing that was pressing on my chest disappears on an instant. "They have been friends since forever, along with Ivan. The famous trio. They used to make so many silly things together." she says chuckling lightly as she probably remembers some of them. And I cannot believe it. _Dimitri_? Doing silly things? Highly improbable. I mean, have you seen how serious he is? I believe he was born like that. But he will surely have to tell me all about his childhood and the silly things he used to do one day. "And this thing happened when he was about ten. The thing with Tamara. You should have seen them, they were so cute together. I guess that they have liked each other ever since the day they met. And one day, they have simply come to me and told me that when they would get older, they were going to get married." she chuckles again. "I was so shocked. They were just ten years old!"

"What happened next?" I am now officially curious. Married? Such big plans for a ten years old kid, no?

"Oh, they have been together for about seven years. No one thought that it will last. But they did last. It started as something innocent, but their relationship slowly evolved to a more serious one as they grew up. And they still were so cute together. They seemed to be perfect for each other. Then…" she says and makes a pause to take a breath in. "Then, the girl left town and went to Kazan after her mother got a better job there. And well, there she…" and she stops, her face turning sad. Is this one of those tragic love stories? Gosh, that is awful. Dimitri must have suffered a lot. I know I would have.

"She _what_? Did she die or something?" I try to finish the story. I need to know and I need to know now.

" _No_ , God forbid. She didn't die, sweetie. She is fine, married with three kids and she is having a good life from what I've heard. But she met another boy there, in Kazan." oh, shit. _That_ , I didn't expect. "And she didn't tell the truth to Dimitri for some time. She kind of played him, like you would say nowadays I think. She began acting weird and he couldn't figure out what he was doing wrong. And she kept on finding things that he all of a sudden started to do wrong. Even though he could have never done such a thing. I guess she was, in fact, looking for a reason to end things with him, a way in which she wouldn't have to feel responsible, even though she obviously was responsible. She couldn't be sincere." and she shrugs, just like saying 'what can you do? People are like this.'. " And it all lasted for about five months or so. Maybe six. And he didn't know about it. She didn't tell him." what a fucking bitch! How could you treat someone like him that badly? He is a sweetheart and treats me so good and makes me the happiest I have ever been. Was that girl blind or something? "And when she finally told him, he was heartbroken. Nothing could comfort him for some time."

Sorrow fills my soul completely. This is so sad! Why would you do such a thing? Why would she put him through such a shitty thing? Hell, who would have thought that a player like Dimitri used to be until some time ago, was fooled like this when he was younger, huh? I always thought that he was the one who was breaking the hearts, not the other way around.

"But he turned out fine in the end, didn't he?" she asks smiling and I nod lightly. He really did. He is amazing. "I am really glad you are in his life, Rose. He seems to have changed from a while and maybe I am stepping out of line by saying this, but I believe that you must have something to do with that."

And at her saying this to me, I smile dumbly. I don't know how other way I could have responded to that. But maybe that doesn't need any response. And silence falls between us and she goes to get the bread out of the oven, placing a steamy baking tray on the counter.

But there is one more thing that I want to find out and as Dimitri isn't willing to share it with me, I think that I might ask someone who would tell me.

"Um... can I ask you something? Of course, only if you want to respond."

She turns to face me once more and soothes her apron. "Sure, Rose. Ask me."

"What is the thing between Dimitri and Adrian? I mean, they are cousins, no?" she nods. "Then, why there seems to be something going on between them? And I may say that that thing seems to last since forever. Am I the only one seeing that?"

She chuckles. "No, you are not. The thing between them is quite complicated." she shifts her weight from one foot to the other.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me or if that is a sensitive subject. I don't want to seem rude. I just thought that it wouldn't be that bad."

She shrugs. "I already told you most of the story already, so why not telling you the rest of it?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know I told you that Tamara met another boy in Kazan, no?" I nod and an assumption starts to form in my brain. But I pray to God that I am wrong. "Well, that boy was Adrian."

In a moment I shot up from my chair and indignation fills my voice. "But how could he do that?" I mean, I know Adrian, but I never thought the would do such a shitty thing. Is he capable of that?

She smiles lightly. "Rose. The thing is that they didn't know about each other. They eventually found out about each other. Such a small world the one we live in, no?" yeah, that shit is fucking ironic. From all the people in that damn town, she chooses Adrian? I swear that sometimes the universe is a cruel place. "And well, there was quite a big fight between them. And the thing is that none of them was guilty. Adrian never knew that Tamara was with Dimitri. And neither the other way around. But I guess that some things lingered after their fight. And this is why things are tensed up between them even now. But they are working it out." she shrugs. "At least now they are speaking to each other." yeah, when they are not trying to kill each other with their glares. But if I think better about it, it kind of makes sense why they were acting like that when I was around them. Especially Dimitri.

I want to ask for more information, but Sonja comes into the kitchen with a crying Katya in her arms, and I drop the subject. Anyway, I guess I found out way too many things about Dimitri this morning. But I won't mention any of them to him. I want him to feel ready to tell them to me. And I strongly believe he will. I'll just have to wait. And I will for as long as it will take him to tell me.

* * *

Unfortunately, in the evening we have to leave this beautiful place. It's such a pity. I have come to love Dimitri's family as my own. There is something about them that can't make you stay away. And it's like these almost five days spent here have made up for the last crappy years spent with my family. Why can't my parents and I be like them? I am some kind of envious, you know? But I guess that every family works differently. We had our good days too. And I can only hope that we will go back to that. I will definitely try that.

Before we go, everybody kisses and hugs everybody, just like we would have known each other since forever.

Lissa gets threatened by Viktoria. She said that if Lissa won't come around here after she has the baby, she will hunt her down. I so love this girl. She is so genuine and doesn't beat it around the bush. And she is more open than her older sisters. A lot different too. The other two are keeping to themselves more. Just like Dimitri, I think. But under that facade, he is an amazing man and I am sure that his sisters are too and I just didn't have enough time to discover them. Maybe next time.

Olena is as nice as always and tells us that their home is always open for us, no matter what and that she is waiting for our next visit and even promises to teach me to prepare some of her wonderful meals. Yeah, I am going to miss this woman big time. For the last five days, she has been the mother that I missed so much lately.

The only person that is still scaring the shit out of me is Dimitri's grandmother. For reals now, guys. Leaving aside the ''are you pregnant'' thing from the day we arrived. That was nothing compared to the glares that she was throwing my way every single day. It's like there was something wrong with me and she disagreed with it but wasn't allowed to say it out loud and her glares were the only way she could let it out. And I was the only one who was getting this treatment from her. Trust me, I watched her around the others and she was acting so nicely with them. So, in my opinion, she doesn't like me. Why? I have no fucking idea.

I came to the conclusion that she has something against me, but I didn't tell anyone about it, except Dimitri, who assured me that there is nothing wrong with me and that his grandmother was usually acting like that. Yeah, but as I have seen, she was acting like that only with me. But somehow, Viktoria picked up on my conclusion too one day, and she assured me that this was nothing more than something associated with her psychic thing and that she would get over it fast. She was used with this, as she would get the same treatment often, and I shouldn't worry.

Well, at first, I didn't really think that she was really gifted, but I came to think that her weird abilities were something after all, because first, she didn't want to buy our excuse when it came to my split lip and my swollen hand. She was very suspicious and some time later, she even told me in private that she knew what really happened and that I should be careful in the next period of time, as, how did she say? Oh. ''Dark clouds may occur one day.' This was weird as fuck, whatever it would mean. And what does that mean?

And well, maybe she really knew what really happened that day and even before that. Maybe she knows everything in fact. Why you may ask. This is where things get even weirder. As we were saying goodbye, she whispered something to me. She looked exactly in my eyes and told me: "You need to trust him, Rose, no matter what.". At that, of course, I frowned. What was she trying to say? Trust who?

I tried to make sense of her words because she didn't make any sense. "What are you talking about? Is it about Dimitri? Of course I trust him. Why wouldn't I?"

But in response she grabbed my wrists, squeezing them kind of hard I can say for her age, and pulled me towards her. I was looking into her deep dark brown eyes and I swear I was one second away from being some kind of hypnotized by her strong glare, but I snapped out of it as she told me only a single word: "Nina."

Hearing that name from her mouth sent shivers down my spine. No one could have ever known about the Nina thing, except Lissa, because I told her. And she wouldn't just go rant about it to everybody. Especially to Yeva. How she found out, it is still a mystery for me.

In shock, I pull my hands out of hers and take a step back. She is freaking me out, I swear. But she doesn't give up. She tells me one more thing. "Be careful with what you trust, Rose." and what does this shit mean? Can't she be on point if she wants to beckon me about something, can't she say it properly? Why being so cryptic? But even though, no matter how she knew about that Nina thing, I don't understand what she wants from me with this. I already know that Dimitri is not responsible for that thing so I don't need any further assurance from her. The only thing I know is that if I ever see Tasha's face again, I will rip her head off and no one will be able to stop me.

* * *

We are on the plane now, heading back home and I am dozing off on Dimitri's shoulder, pretending to be watching a movie as he is reading one of his westerns. Lissa and Christian are long sleeping on the couch in the airplane and the plane is really silent, only the sound of the movie through the earbuds disturbing the stillness.

At one point, Dimitri's hand reaches for mine and he gently entangles our fingers and walks his thumb across my skin and I squeeze his hand in response.

"Rose?" he whispers. I turn my head in his direction and meet his eyes. He leans over and places a small kiss on my forehead. I look at him questioningly. There is something going on. "You know you asked me why Adrian and I... aren't really getting along."

Oh, shit. It is happening already. Who would have thought I would have to wait for so little?

"Dimitri. You don't have to feel obliged to tell me, you know that, right? I was just curious. But if you don't want to tell me now, it is completely fine."

He smiles warmly and nods. "But I want you to know."

* * *

At about a week after we get home, I consider the things that happened and I convince Dimitri to go to the police and actually get a restraining order against that crazy woman. Not that I would be the one needing it, considering that I was the one who assaulted her in the first place, but I couldn't bear the thought of her coming near us again. She needs to rot in prison along with Victor, not to walk freely on the streets, following us wherever we go and threaten us shamelessly. It's so frustrating to have to watch your back all the time, not knowing what she might do next or if she will ever do something. That small paper isn't much, hell I don't even think that it would be effective, but it makes me feel somehow better, a little safer maybe, even if it is just one percent. And if she gets closer to us, then there at least would be consequences.


	49. Chapter 49

I sit patiently in bed, waiting for Dimitri to come back from the kitchen. He woke up early, has made breakfast as I was still asleep and he insisted that he would bring it to bed, for today is a special day for us. I don't think that he should bother so much with everything, but hell, if he wants to bring me breakfast in bed, I won't argue.

Today we celebrate three months since we are together. I have never been a fan of doing celebrations every week or month like all the other couples do nowadays, but this is the first time we actually do something like this, and hell, three months is something, right? Not that much really, but still, it is enough for us. And it's weird because even though I know him for a little over half a year, it feels that I have known him since forever. It's like I have already known him before I have even met him and I was just waiting for the chance to stumble over him. And thank God I did because these past three months with him were, leaving aside the bad some people tried to do to us, amazing and I can't wait for more like these.

He opens the door and enters the room carrying a wooden tray that contains the goods that he has prepared. And gosh, my man is so hot. As always, duh. He's wearing only a pair of dark grey pyjama pants that perfectly fit on his hips, leaving his chest totally exposed and nicely emphasize the V cut on his lower abs. The tray doesn't seem to be very heavy, but as he carries it, the muscles on his arms tense. God, I want his hands all over me in this very second. Oh, and his hair is messily sexy clasped at the nape of his neck, letting free some strands that never seem to want to sit in place, but they don't cover his beautiful smile that appears on his lips at my sight. I seriously consider skipping breakfast, but my nose picks up on to the wonderful sweet smell of the treats that he cooked and I begin to drool even more.

I take a more proper position for eating, getting up on my butt as he puts the tray between us on the bed. I see an enormous portion of pancakes, along with some grape juice. Just my favorites. He always remembers little things like these! After I thank him with a peck, I take a bite, being eager to fill my stomach with the goods he has made. And oh, the taste man. It's amazing. I don't know how he did them, what he added to the usual recipe, but they are better than ever. The sweet chocolate between the layers, mixed with the sourish taste of the berries that are laid on the top of the stack of pancakes sends my taste buds to heaven. I moan as I munch on my food and then take another bite.

Dimitri turns his head and looks at me, biting his lower lip, a playful glance in his eyes.

"What? I ask my mouth full. Yeah, I know, so lady-like, right?

He comes closer, above the tray and we are breathing the same air now. As he moved, another strand escapes from behind his head and comes forward, gently tickling my cheek as he speaks into my ear as his fingers walk slowly on my outer thigh.

"You know how it's dangerous to make sounds like that while being so close to me, no?"

I chuckle. "Oh, really?" I say taking another bite and making the same sound again, making sure to prolong it long enough and to get my mouth closer to his ear. What can I say, I was born a teaser. I'll always be. He pulls away and squints his eyes in my direction and smiles, then proceeds to take the tray out of his way. Yup, goodbye breakfast. It was good as it lasted.

He comes back to me and we kiss. At first, our lips touch easily, but then his tongue invades my mouth and the kiss deepens as his hand gets a hold of my hip and he gets on his knees, coming a little more above me.

"You're so sweet." he says as he breaks the kiss, then lays me down and gets fully on top of me, pressing me slowly into the mattress with his body. His hands travel up and down me, sending shivers down my spine. God, he always has this effect on me and the smallest touches of his are enough to make me lose it. He gently places kisses on my collarbone and his left hand finds its way towards my thigh, stroking my flesh gently. His touches are simply maddening! He moves his mouth towards my shoulder and with his teeth, he grips the thin strap of my nightgown and drags it down on my arm.

"Um, comrade?" I say remembering something but he doesn't stop; he just gets his hand under my nightgown, heading towards my ass. I tilt my head backward and sigh lightly as he cups the skin under my panties with his palm and squeezes.

He comes next to my ear and as he's biting on my earlobe, he whispers. "What were you saying?" Oh, so he heard me. It took him some time to react, I see.

"I don't remember." I say and he chuckles. Hell, why is it so hard to think straight when he is around? It doesn't take him much to distract me.

He goes back to kissing my neck, making his way even further down towards my cleavage, sucking on my skin and he drags the other strap down my arm. All he needs to do now is to pull my nightgown a little lower to leave me uncovered. Oh! I know now what I wanted to say.

"Not to be a mood killer...but…" I drop it and he lifts his head and looks at me questioningly. Yeah, I kind of spoiled his fun. Mine too, but hell, it is what it is. "But before that, I want to give you your present. I might not have the time to do this later." I say with subtext and he gives me a devilish smile. I can sense that we would be quite busy today.

"Sure." he says nodding, lifts and sits next to me. I pull my straps up as I rise, covering up the temptation.

We, well, mostly I decided that the presents won't be more expensive than ten dollars. The truth is that I don't want for him to make me expensive gifts. All I need to be happy is him, not jewelry or other things like this. And the gifts will mostly be some symbolical things and nothing more. A little reminder of the time spent together.

"You first." I say excitedly and open one drawer of my nightstand, get out a nicely packed box and hand it to him. He opens it and looks at the little electric device.

"What is this supposed to be?" he asks turning it around.

"Wait a sec." I say as I get up and pull the blinds, making the room go darker. I get back and take the device from him and push the ON button. The light shots out and sends flashes around us, making little constellations and planets appear on the walls of the room. "You know, I saw that you had some passion for outer space when you were younger. It may be silly but-"

He puts his hand on mine, stopping me and smiles warmly. "No. It's not silly. I really like it." he says looking around the room, then turns his gaze towards me and entangles our fingers. "Thank you, Rose. It's really nice." he makes me a sign to wait, gets up from the bed and goes to bring something from the closet. "Your turn now." he says coming back and putting the gift in front of me. I look at it and lift one eyebrow. It is quite big. I just hope it's not expensive too.

"Comrade, I thought that we decid-"

"Rose. Come on. Just open it. I didn't get over our budget." he assures me. Well, that's very good. And he takes a second to pause to smile. "Not too much anyway."

I squint my eyes. "Really?"

"No, really. You'll see. Just open it." he urges me.

And well, I am curious to see what he got me and I don't need any other impulse. I pick up the gift and rip open the wrapping. I giggle as I lay my eyes on a teddy bear. And it is not any teddy bear. It's the same one we saw back in Russia. In the haze of my streetfight, I totally forgot about it. But he didn't.

"When did you get this? We were almost always together."

He shrugs smiling. "I have my methods." oh, the secrecy thing again. I like it when he's acting this mysteriously. It keeps things interesting.

I get it out of the wrapping completely and see that there is something different about it. It is holding a little black box in between his hands. I look at Dimitri questioningly and he smiles, encouraging me to open that too. And inside the box I find a pink plastic neon ring with a butterfly on it, just like the ones my mother used to get me when I was little. I remain speechless for a second, my mouth slightly open, then a smile spreads across my lips.

"You remembered _this_?" he nods; wow, he pays so much attention to what I say, even if so much time passed since I mentioned this thing to him.

 **Flashback begins**

It happened when we were in Moscow and he took me out to show me around town, back when our feelings for each other haven't had been said out loud. I guess that this was the first time when I actually talked with him about something not related to work and when even he told me something about him, no matter how little it was. And I don't know why, but the words simply flew out of my mouth, without any effort and it was so easy to be myself around him, even at that time when well, things weren't pink between us. The thing that amazed me most that day was that he seemed really interested in what I had to say. He wasn't approaching the I-don't-care technique for some time then, which was very strange for me at that time and he was doing all these nice things for me, trying to reach to me I have realized way later, but I was way too absorbed in my little world where he was constantly being the bad guy that would never change and where I strongly thought that all he wanted was to get me into his bed, to actually observe that he had become someone else. Well, what can I say, I am so stupid sometimes. But anyway. Let me tell you about it.

We were looking around the variety store for a gift for Lissa when I found a box full of these rings. I haven't seen any of these in years! The second I saw them, I began to continuously say ''oh my God'' and to wiggle my hands in excitement, acting like a five years old. The funny thing is that I scared Dimitri with my reaction because he turned around and in a second, he was by my side, concern filling his features.

"Rose, is there something wrong?" he asks looking around for that something that triggered my reaction.

"Look at these!" I said, gesturing towards the metal box, like he should have known already the reason for my excitement.

I could feel the amusement in his voice as he spoke. "What are you, three?"

I squint my eyes in his direction. "Maybe I am." I respond crossing my hands over my chest, giving him one more reason to ask that, and a genuine smile appears on his face, for once in a long while. God, he should do this more often. It feels just like the sun rising first thing in the morning.

Ignoring his previous sarcastic remark, I turn my attention and start putting on the neon-colored rings, getting to try on them all. But none of them fits on my fingers. They are all too small or way too big for my fingers. I sigh disappointed. And I wanted one so much!

He picks up to my reaction. "Why are these rings so important to you? What is the thing about them?"

"Oh, nothing." I say shaking my head. "It's just that-" I stop and he is watching me with big eyes, focused on me, expecting for me to continue. "It's silly, really. It's not important." but his expression doesn't change and he urges me to continue with his curious glare, and he even crosses his arms like saying, 'Come on, you were going to say it, so say it already.'. "Well, my mother would always get me these kinds of rings that I completely loved when I was little, and the thing is that I wasn't really careful with them and I kept on losing them or breaking them all the time, but every time I did, I would find a new one on my nightstand the next morning. And she wasn't pointing that out like-" I stop again and think about the good old days with my mother.

"Like?" where does all his interest in my life comes from? He didn't use to give a fuck about anything.

"It's nothing." and he tilts his head lightly. And the thing is that I can't resist not to tell him. There is a thing in me that is telling me that it's okay to say these things to him. And I do. "Like anything that I do now." I say looking down at my feet and bite the inside of my cheek. I really don't like speaking about this subject, but with him it doesn't feel that bad opening up. "There is nothing that I do better enough to please her. I never seem to be enough for her." and I shrug as I lift my head.

"Hey." His expression softens and he lifts a hand and places his palm on my shoulder. At the contact, I move my eyes on his hand, bewildered. I am still not that used to him touching me, but it feels amazing. Only this small gesture of his is so reassuring for me. But he shortly breaks contact, letting me longing for more and he scratches the back of his neck. "It can't be like that."

I let out a small puff. "Well, then you don't know _my_ mother."

He nods. "Maybe I don't. But I know mothers in general."

"Is _your_ mother like this?"

"No. Mine maybe doesn't tend to be that strict about these things. But my sister resembles your mother."

"Really?" wow. It's the first time he ever brings into discussion his family. He nods. "What's her name?"

"Karolina." A little pause follows. "Look, Rose. I am sure that your mother loves you and wants what is best for you. But maybe it is hard for her to express this." I think about it and sigh. Who knows? Maybe he is right. But I wish things wouldn't have been like that. He raises his hand into an attempt to soothe mine again I suppose, but it seems that he thinks better about it and turns his attention towards the table and moves some little objects around there. And gosh, I so wished that he would have touched me again. I wish he would do it all the time. And I wish I would be able to reciprocate the gestures.

But I don't say any of my wishes out loud. "Yeah, I guess she might.' I respond instead as I pass my hand over a book cover. "But our relationship is still not working well." I keep on letting it all out. I don't even know why I am telling him all these things. It's not like he really cares about my dysfunctional family, right?

"Here. What about this?" he asks, extending me another ring and changing the subject, distracting me from my sadness and I am some kind of grateful for that. Like what he could have said to what I said? There was no response to have been given. But this one ring he is handing me is way too big for me. Out of nowhere, I take his hand into mine and put the ring on his little finger. It fits perfectly and I take a look at him, a smile on my lips. But the second I meet his eyes, I realize what I did and let go of his hand, then look down embarrassed.

"I am _not_ wearing this." He says amused and I am some kind of shocked by his reaction. What happened with the way too serious Dimitri I know? But his reaction gives my mouth more freedom to speak shit it seems.

"Oh, come on, comrade." The word slips out of my mouth and his expression changes slightly. It's not the first time I call him like this and I do my best not to do it very often, but sometimes it just happens, you know? "It's such a cute ring. It matches your skin tone." I continue jokingly, hoping that he won't say anything to my slip. And, to my utter surprise, after he gives me another smile, he actually buys the ring and puts it into his pocket. Why, only God knows. Maybe I am that good at convincing people.

"Well, I guess I have no luck then." I say resigned and shake my shoulders.

"Come on, Rose. Don't be sad about it. We'll get you something else. Let's look around. There are so many other things out here." He says and lightly puts his palm on my lower back, sending shivers down my spine when I feel his heat radiating through the material of my coat, doing the touching thing all over again, but this time, by some divine intervention, he doesn't pull his hand away, giving me the chance to actually accommodate with the amazing sensation of his touch on my body as he is directing me to another table. I really am not very used to him touching me much, but I surely don't complain.

 **Flashback ends**

"And where did you even find this? Aren't these just for kids or something? Or anyway. Not my size. Was this hard to find?" he shakes his shoulders and smiles. Oh, he's so mysterious again. Not that it would really matter where did he get it from. Only the fact that he remembered about it is more than enough. "Thank you, Dimitri. It is the perfect gift. The best. And I promise not to lose this one. Or I will do my best not to." and we both chuckle. You never know when it comes to me.

I take the ring out of the box and as I put it on the index finger of my left hand, I remember that day when he told me to go and buy Tasha a gift and he was very specific about me not buying a ring for her. I laugh lightly at that thought and as I remember the face he pulled when he saw the pendant in the box.

"What's funny?"

"What about your no ring policy, comrade?" I ask jokingly.

His expression changes slightly, becoming a little more serious, and he extends his hand to put some strands of my hair behind my ear. "Not with you, milaya. Never with you." and he caresses my cheek gently with his fingers. "There is no policy when it comes to you." he responds and I couldn't wish for another answer from him.

A silly smile appears on my face and I rise, move closer to him and glue my back on his chest, getting into his embrace, his arms around me. We sit there for a while watching the artificial stars on the walls, trying to guess constellations and name our newly invented ones. I don't need anything in this moment. What more could I even ask for? Everything is just perfect here, surrounded by Dimitri's mesmerizing scent and with his warmth radiating from his skin on mine. Things are just perfect and I wish for them to never change.

After a little longer, I raise my hand and take another look at the ring. It looks so pretty. It is silly, but still, it means so much. "It looks nice, doesn't it?" I ask him and turn my head to look at him, expecting his opinion.

His lips turn into a little displeased grimace. "Not really." is his answer.

Okay. Call me officially confused. "What? Why? What is wrong with it?" and I take another look at the ring, spreading my fingers and turning my hand from one side to the other. Nope. Nothing seems out of place for me.

Dimitri takes a hold of my hand and gets the ring off my index and places it on another finger. Would you like to guess which is the finger? Well, let me tell you if you hadn't guessed already. He has put it on my left ring finger. What does he mean with this? "Now, it is perfect." is the only thing he says, no further addings. I change my position, turning to one side and I look up at him even more confused than I was half a minute ago. I think my jaw dropped a little too, but I am not very aware of it at the moment. Did he just…? I am seeing things, right? I look at the place of the ring again, and there it is, on my left ring finger. I look at him for an explanation then. But he doesn't say anything in addition, just smiles widely and kisses my forehead, his palm walking up and down on my back. And the thing is that I don't really need for him to say anything else. His expression is more than enough for me to understand. I put my hands around his torso and pull him closer, gluing my ear to his heart and he rounds his hands on me once more and tells me something in Russian, the only thing that I have a clue what means.

I kiss the spot above his heart. "I love you too, Dimitri."

God, this was so romantic. Forget about the grandiose proposals you have seen all your lives. This right here is more than I have ever could imagine, even though it was just a simple thing. But if I think about it, there is nothing more that could have been added to the moment. It was just the both of us here, surrounded only by the little shiny stars, sitting into each other's embrace and him saying a lot of things without even needing to open his mouth. What else more was necessary? And it's so beautiful that we don't need words to understand each other, no? I love this about us.

Some minutes later, I shift my position once more, this time lifting off him completely and lean in for a kiss.

"You know, comrade? I think we left something unfinished." I say as I pull away.

One of his eyebrows lifts playfully. "Did we?" he asks as he gets up on his knees too.

"Mhm. We definitely did." I walk my fingers across his abs and his muscles tense lightly.

"And where we were we, then?"

"I think that..." I get one strap of my nightgown down on my arm. "...we were..." I get my hair out of the way and extend my neck to one side, letting him come and kiss me on it. "...right here." and I let the other strap go down. "Or am I wrong?"

He smiles. "Oh, you are _very righ_ t, Rose." and he pulls my nightgown down, the material sliding just under my breasts and he leans over and lightly sucks on my skin, making his way down my cleavage.

" _But_." I say placing a finger over his lips and he looks at me bothered because I stopped him. "I need to tell you something before we get further."

He gets up. "What?"

"I...well, _we_... were quite busy at the office this week, you know?"

"I know, Rose." and his expression softens. "Are you tired now or something?" aw, isn't he the nicest man? "We can…"

I chuckle. "Don't be silly comrade. I am not tired. It has nothing to do with that. I was just trying to say that I didn't have much time and I quite forgot to… well… to go to the pharmacy to buy myself some pills."

"Oh. I see." he nods.

"And I ran out of them last week and I didn't take any this week and _you know_ …" well, he surely knows what I try to say.

He smiles and leans closer to my ear, his hand getting over mine. "I don't see any problem here. Do you, Roza?" and he brushes his lips across my cheek.

I smile too. "Not at all, comrade." not at all.

* * *

It's evening and we still haven't left the warmth of our bed. Why would we? It's our special lazy day and we are laying in bed, in the still darkened room, only illuminated by the shiny little stars. Our naked bodies are practically one by now, that close to each other we are, and Dimitri is drawing lines up and down my bare back with the soft tips of his fingers.

I prop my chin on his chest and look at him and at his sight, my mouth turns into a big smile.

"Thank you." is what I say to him.

He looks at me questioningly. Rather confused I would say. "What did I do?"

"It's not what you _did_." I walk my fingers across his hairline. "It's what you _do_. All the time. You make me extremely happy, Dimitri."

First, he seems some kind of surprised by my words, but then, he gives me one of his heartwarming smiles, moves his hand up and passes his fingers through my hair. "I love seeing you happy, milaya." and he drags me closer, planting a soft kiss on my now swollen lips.

* * *

And after a whole day of laying in bed, I convince Dimitri to go out. I need the movement. Or anyway, I need some other kind of movement, otherwise, my whole body would have gotten numb or sore.

So we got dressed up nicely and around nine we headed downtown to our usual bar, with the intention to go to the beach a little later. I mean, what would be a celebration without going to our favorite place later, for a long walk together, holding hands, barefoot on the sand, right? Oh, and to watch the sunrise together? Just perfect, I'm telling you.

I really like this bar we're going to and it is a nice place to continue our celebration. The bar is kind of hidden from everybody, having a strange location in town, we even stumbled over it by accident one night, so not much people frequent it which is just perfect. There are often no people to follow us around and to take pictures or to ask us shit either, even though there were some isolated occasions. But on most night, it's okay. And the thing is that I am so sick of crowded places. And this town is all about congestion. But the cool thing is that this place is not.

We are now sitting at the bar and enjoying ourselves with some cocktails. Well, I am the one drinking cocktails. Dimitri is all about fancy whiskey. He's that classy, what can I say.

"Hey, comrade, you won't believe this." I say excitedly as I take a look around the place.

"What?"

"It's _that woman_ again. What is she doing here all the time? I swear she is always here. Does she sleep here or what? I'll come to believe that she is following us around or something, you know? It is quite freaky. What if she is a crazy stalker?" as the words get out of my mouth, immediately, memories of crazy Tasha following us everywhere and threatening me with hurting the people I love pop into my mind and I have to push them out of my brain as best as I can. After beating the shit out of her and getting a restraining order against her, I haven't heard anything about her and I hope that things will remain like this. It seems that I scared her and she finally decided to let us be. Thank God. It was about time.

"Who are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on. You know who I am referring to. That girl that is always checking you out when we come here. You can't _not_ remember that."

I take another look at her. She is really pretty, looking just like an actress or a model, I can't decide. She is taller than me, with a slim and lean body, just like a ballerina's. Who knows, maybe she is a dancer after all. She would fit the profile. She has a slightly tanned complexion, just like she would have gone to the beach recently, and her long, deep dark red hair is falling in big waves on her back. She is wearing an emerald dress with a plunging neck, and it ends just under her ass but somehow she manages to pull this outfit through, without looking slutty. I am impressed. She is not alone, sharing the table with another girl and they laugh a lot, having that mimicked stupid girl attitude. Are guys still into that shit? Oh, I forgot to mention something. She keeps on throwing glances towards us. Well, not us. Just towards Dimitri, because she is acting like I don't exist at all, even though I have caught her eye a couple of times in the last five minutes. And every time I would make eye contact with her, she would just pull this disgusted face at me, just like I would be the one looking at another's man, not the other way around. She's so damn shameless!

"I already told you I don't care about that."

"Yeah, you may not. But _I_ do. I swear to God that if she is going to look at you one mo-" he looks at me and laughs lightly, interrupting me. "What's that funny, huh?"

"You, being jealous. Your nose wrinkles when you look at her, you know? You look so cut-" okay. First, I am not cute, that's my disgusted face and I am boiling with anger. And second, yeah, he is right. I cannot stand her glare on him.

"I am _not_ jealous." I say trying to seem outraged. "It's just annoying me, that's all. She's just so, so-" I respond as I know that I have been caught red-handed. I do feel some kind of jealous, that's true. But I don't know where this feeling is coming from. I know that Dimitri only has eyes for me, but the way she looks at him is bothering more than it should. I don't blame her though. I mean, I even catch myself checking Dimitri out from time to time when he is not paying attention. But he is so fucking hot. All the time. For example now. He is wearing a pair of dark jeans and a light blue shirt, with its sleeves rolled up, and he is making this simple outfit look amazing. That damn shirt is tight in all the right places, stressing out his muscles. His hair is tied up and reveals the sharpness of his jaw. And he is still smiling at me, that damn grin not leaving his lips.

"If you say so." he responds lazily. He doesn't buy my shit. Hell, I don't either.

" _I do_." I say and cross my arms over my chest, trying to seem convincing, but he still looks at me that way. "Oh, shut it, Belikov. Don't flatter yourself that much, okay?"

And he chuckles at how annoyed I am, then leans closer to me, his hand getting a hold of mine. "You know you don't have any reasons to be jealous, no, Rose?"

I sigh, defeated and roll my eyes. "I _know_ I don't. But she is still annoying me, I can't help it." Then an idiotic idea comes to my mind. "Hey, why don't you turn and look at her? Maybe this is what she is waiting for. Don't disappoint your fan Dimitri, it's not nice. She has been waiting for so long." I plan to fuck with her. If she wants to mess with me, so be it.

"I am _not_ doing that."

"Why not? Aren't you curious about how she looks? You never looked at her." well, never more than a little glance anyway. I don't think he ever got the chance to observe her. Not as I did.

"Should I care how she looks?"

"Don't know. But I mean, she is really pretty. You should see for yourself."

"I don't need to know that."

"Oh, come on. Maybe, in fact, you know each other and this situation with me ripping her head off will not eventually happen and it was all just a big mistake."

He smiles, shaking his head, but eventually turns for a second and takes a good look at her for the first time, then looks back at me and shrugs. "No. I don't know her."

"Fine then." and another shit comes to my mind. " _But_...don't you like her too?" I ask moving my eyebrows up and down, teasing him. "Cause she surely wants a piece of you." I say jokingly. "And who knows…" I say as I sneakily pass one finger along his thigh. "Maybe she'll be in for a threesome." at this, his eyes widen a little, but he doesn't let himself seem on the outside as surprised as I am sure he is on the inside by what I have just said. "Won't you like that, comrade?" I say, turning my tone to a sexier one and wink. Ah, I so love to tease him.

"No." and at this, I am the one surprised.

"No? _Really_?" I ask knitting my brows. What guy doesn't want a threesome? Let's be honest here, shall we? Isn't that the wildest dream of every guy, to have sex with two women at once? He nods. " _Fine_. Let's say I trust you. Don't you have some fantasies with a red-headed or something then?" I tease some more. Hell, if he would, I would be willing to grant his wish and wear a wig, it wouldn't be that hard. But he shakes his head in response. "Come on comrade, there must be something. Don't' you have kinky stuff in your head?" because I know I do. A lot of them. All the fucking time.

He smiles. "Oh, I _do_ Roza." Yes! Finally! It took me some time to make him tell me.

He leans over, his mouth coming very close to my ear, his warm breath brushing on my neck, and whispers: "And they all involve you. _Every single one_. I only want you, Roza. You are my only fantasy. Nothing more." he says into that strong accented voice he does from time to time and pulls the same trick on me, passing one of his fingers along my thigh, sending shivers all over my body. God, the effect this man has on me.

Then, he goes further with paying me back with the teasing and begins to whisper to me in Russian, only to turn me on even more. I don't think that we are really going to get to the beach later if he keeps on doing this. Because, you know what's better than someone whispering naughty things to you? Someone whispering them to you in Russian. And when he is the one speaking? Oh, even better. Hell, I think that Dimitri could have been reciting the alphabet to me in this second and I would still be aroused. I don't know a single word that he is saying but I can't get enough of it and my breath quickly picks up as he keeps on speaking and walking his fingers across my skin. Oh, damn him!

But the gods decide for me that I had enough of Dimitri for the moment because my phone rings and I have to pull away. Who the hell has the guts to call me at this late hour? And especially when I was in the middle of my Russian lesson, huh? It's Christian. He never calls me. Okay, this is weird. Frowning, I respond to the call.

"Um, yeah?"

"Rose?"

"Yeah, that's me. Are you sure you called the right person, Ozera?" I ask, sarcasm filling my words.

"Very sure. I need your help." he goes straight to the subject, seriousness filling his voice.

"What's the matter? Is Lissa okay?" I ask, concern filling my chest, as the thought hits me. "Is the _baby_ okay?"

"Whoa there. Stay calm, Rose. Nothing is bad. It's just that they called me from work and I have to get there kind of urgently. There is something I must take care of."

" _Ooookay_. So what can I do about this? I am no IT expert."

"I told you not to _bother_ her!" I hear Lissa on the background. And I must say she sounds pissed off.

"Well, Lissa is feeling a little sick and I don't want to leave her alone at night either. I think she caught a cold or something." aw, the concern in his voice melts my heart. "So what I want to know is this: do you think you can stop by and keep an eye on her until I come back?"

"I can manage by myself." she protests. "I am not incapable, you know?" her tone changes into an angrier one and I can already imagine her sitting on the bed, her arms crossed over her now visible belly. "Don't bother her, it's late. And it's just a mild cold. I'll be fine, really now." she almost whines, her mood changing rapidly.

I chuckle. "Of course I am going to come. I'll get there as fast as I can."

I end the call and explain the situation to Dimitri. Well, to hell with our beach walk from later. But it's Lissa we are talking about after all. I wouldn't let her be alone in her state.

"I'll go with you."

"No, you don't have to. You'll get bored with the two of us." he always does eventually when we start speaking our usual shit. But he never complains about it, even though I can see it in his eyes.

"Then I'll take you there."

"Dimitri. Really. Don't bother with this. Stay here and have another drink, celebrate some more. Do it for two people, okay? I'll get there on my own, don't worry."

It takes a few back and froths to convince him to stay and relax a little more. Anyway, what would he do alone back home either? I even have to order him another drink to make him stay. Before I actually leave, I lean over to tell him:

"I think I'll come back around six or so; I guess there would be enough time for you to get lucky before we get to work. What do you say about that?" I pass my finger along his bicep. "I want to make it up to you for having to leave now. And I'll even make one of your fantasies come true, comrade." I say licking my lips and he growls lightly. "Just be a good boy, okay?" I pat his cheek and I manage to make two steps away from him before he pulls me back, drags me a little down and buries his face into the crook of my neck.

I instantly feel the blood in me heating up. I am not used with these things happening in public, and I am sure that people are watching us right now. But he doesn't seem to give a damn. He places a kiss on my neck and my whole body trembles as he again uses that damn voice again and says: "I'll be waiting for you, Roza."

I giggle like a teenager and hurriedly turn around to leave. I might be late if I keep on doing this sexy talking thing with Dimitri. But I as I do that, I encounter something. Someone to be more explicit. Where did this person come from?

"What the-?" I say as I take a step back. Who the hell is passing so close to us? The bar is half empty people, couldn't you find some space? Were they trying to hear what we were speaking? Damn, people are so nosy these days. What? Was the person curious about our sexy talking?

And then I see her. The red-headed girl. For a moment there, I stop to admire her. She is even prettier from this distance. Her face is flawless and she has deep blue eyes and faint freckles covering her cheeks. As she sees me, the smile on her face disappears. I have the same reaction. Plus, I throw an ugly glare in her direction. I can't help myself. I simply don't like her, and I think I have plenty of reasons not to.

"Excuse me, I didn't see you." yeah, you surely didn't acknowledge my existence for the whole night, you little bitch. Well, I can pretend that she doesn't exist either.

"It's okay." I respond to her coldly and she passes me. I say goodbye one more time to Dimitri and kiss him, taking my time to linger with my lips on his, just to show her that he is _my_ man and my man only and then go on my way, completely ignoring her as she drags a chair and takes a seat at the bar.


	50. Chapter 50

**Hey guys! I hope you all had an amazing Monday!**

 **All I want to say about this chapter is...please don't get mad with me :D But I am going to fuck things up again. But hey, you will get to see who Nina is.**

 **And baroness vixen, yes, that was what that was :)**

 **But of course, I will make them good again soon enough (and maybe I will fuck them up again *wink*)**

 **Aaaand I am sorry to announce you that unfortunately, I am going to go back to updating twice a week (on Mondays and Thursdays, as these are the days I am free enough to write) because my new schedule at the uni this semester is full as hell and I don't have enough time to take care of everything. I am really sorry for that, but there is no other way.**

 **Lots of love!**

* * *

My taxi driver knew his shit and I manage to get to my friends' house in ten minutes, way faster than usual. Well, the fact that the streets are emptier than on most days, is a big plus. I give this man a good tip and make my way upstairs and rapidly knock at the door. The one who opens is Christian, an uptight smile on his face, but at my sight, his expression relaxes and he sighs relieved.

"Hey, Rose." he says making some space for me to get in and scratches the back of his head. "I um...I think I'll let you deal with her because she is still upset with me for calling you and I couldn't reconcile with her until now." I nod. Well, I get him. Lissa is quite moody these days and to my surprise, he is dealing very well with this situation. "'I should get back around six. I don't know how much it will actually take, but I'll try to come as fast as I can anyway."

"Don't worry buddy. We'll be fine."

"Thanks once more for coming, Rose. I hope I didn't disrupt anything."

"Nah, I am good. Now go there and save the day." and with this he leaves hurriedly, leaving me here with a full of hormones Lissa. Oh, and she is already upset, just my luck. Good thing I know her for so long and I am an expert when it comes to her.

I enter my former room, and I see Lissa on their new king size bed. Hm, that looks really comfortable. She is halfway laying down on the bed, her back leaning over the bedpost and her hands are crossed over her chest, above her belly, just like I expected. And seeing her like this brings a smile on my face.

"Hello, momma. What are you doing?"

"I'm fine." she answers pouting some more and looks away, pretending to ignore me as I get closer.

"Oh, come on Liss. The damage is already done. I am already here. Do you want to spend the rest of the night sitting in the bed alone? Would you really miss the chance to spend some quality time with _this girl_?" I ask her jokingly as I point towards myself from head to toe, but she is not really impressed. "I can go if you _really_ want it." I say and take a step back.

She considers things for a second, then finally gives in. "No. Come here." I smile in response and take a seat on the bed to properly hug her.

"So, now tell me. How is it _really_ going?" I ask again as I know that she is not really fine.

"I'm fine. Really. I just have a runny nose and my throat is a little sore, nothing too bad. I don't even have a fever, for God's sake. And the doctor said that there is no reason for us to worry. It happens all the time to a lot of pregnant women. It's flu season after all. It's just that Christian is driving me insane with all this overreacting."

"Hey, but you know that he takes this pregnancy thing very seriously. And I think that this is amazing." I mean, he has read like a thousand books already and he's ready for everything that may come.

"It _is_ , but sometimes it's way too much. Like now. I am just pregnant, okay? It's not like I am incapable of taking care of myself. Plus, I am a _nurse_. I have the _training_ to deal with things like this. I know how this shit works better than most people."

"Oh, Liss. You will _so_ miss this thing, trust me. Instead of taking advantage of this so-called holiday whenever you are home with Christian at your disposal at any time, you keep on complaining about this. He's a sweetheart and you're not appreciating him enough these days. Just think about this: how much free time do you think you will have after the baby will come? How much do you think you both will have to be like this? Let him take care of you if it's what he wants. Let him be a part of this pregnancy. Let him worry if that is what it takes."

And with my words, her grumpiness washes away. "Yeah, you're right. Maybe I overreacted a little with this."

"You think?" I ask sarcastically.

"Oh, you so like being right, don't you?"

"You know I always do. And I know as well that you don't really mean that about Christian. He just loves you very much and he is taking the best care of you. Hell, I would like to be taken care of like this."

At this, she lifts an eyebrow. "But you have Dimitri to take care of that." She reminds me. Yeah, my man is the best, isn't he?

"Yeah, I do." I respond smiling silly. "Liss?"

"What?"

"Can I do that thing?"

"What thing?"

My smile widens. "You _know_." she shakes her head, not getting it. "Can I touch your belly?"

 _"Again_?" she asks exasperatedly.

"Oh, _come on_. You know that it fascinates me. Please?" and I pull my puppy face. She can't resist this, she never has. Today is no different than usual.

She sighs deeply. "I really don't get your fascination with this thing, Rose sweetie. I just can't wait for you to have one of your own and leave mine be." she says as she sets aside the covers and lifts her pyjama blouse. And the thing is that I am somehow dreaming at the day I would have that too. Ever since we visited Dimitri's family a while ago, I catch myself thinking about having children quite often. "There you go. Enjoy yourself, little weirdo." she says amused.

I first rub my palms together to heat them up a little and then place them on her round belly. It is such a strange sensation, but I really like how it feels for some particular reason. Every time I do this, it always feels different. I just can't wait to feel the baby kicking one day. I never seem to be around when that happens. But maybe tonight will be my lucky night.

"Hey there, sweetie. Auntie Rose is here. How are you doing today?" I pat Lissa's belly with one finger. "Have you thought about any name for her?" it seems that Dimitri's grandmother was right with her prediction after all. The soon to be parents have just got the confirmation and Christian couldn't be happier about it.

"Oh, yeah. We have an entire list. Two full pages. We just can't decide which one we like more. Would it be weird if our baby would have about ten names?"

"Not if you tell everybody that she is Spanish." and we both laugh.

I circle her skin with my palms one more time. "This is _amazing_ , Liss. There's a little human in here." I cannot cease to be amazed by this thing.

"Yeah, it really is." she responds and places her hand over mine. "Rose?"

"What?"

"What is this?"

"This what?"

 _"This_ thing on your finger." I take a look at my hand too. Oh! She is talking about the ring. I am not used to it being there yet. "Is this from your mother? Since when is she making you gifts again? Weren't you fighting or something? Waaaait. Have you gone home lately? When did you have the time? _Oh_ , did you take Dimitri to meet your mum and didn't tell me? How did that go? Did she get bananas?"

A silly smile appears on my face. "No, Liss. It's not from her."

"Then?"

"It's from Dimitri."

Her eyes widen in surprise as she takes another look at my hand and probably observes where the ring is placed. "Oh my God. Rose? Do you have something to tell me?"

* * *

Some minutes later I have received the soup I ordered because I didn't have the time to cook it myself and we are both now sitting in bed, enjoying the wonderful taste.

"Okay, Rose. The soup is here. Are you going to tell me now? Don't make me wait for longer. I might do something _you_ will regret. How did he ask you? Tell me already!" she says super excitedly. "When did it happen?"

"Today. This morning." I answer her latter question.

'Wow! That's very fresh news! Aaaand, how did he propose? Come on, don't let me boil."

"It's kind of complicated."

"What do you mean with _complicated_? It's very simple in fact. Did he propose to you or not? In fact, he _did_ propose to you because I am very clearly seeing that ring on your finger. So tell me how it happened already."

"He kind of proposed."

She sighs. "Rose, you are killing me. There is no in between. And there surely isn't a 'kind of' proposing." well, with the two of us, anything is possible. I tell her how the whole ring thing happened.

"Soooo, he didn't actually _say_ the words." I nod. "But he was so damn obvious!"

"Yeah, I know, right!? And it was so unexpected and I didn't want to spoil that perfect moment with some questions. What could have I said? Are you really asking me to marry you or are you just fucking with me? Or, are you sure you got the tight finger? You get me? And no word I could have said seemed appropriate. It was just the two of us and all those stars and it was _amazing_."

"So, what now? Do I smell some wedding?" I chuckle.

"I don't know. We didn't actually speak about this after either. We were… quite busy." and a grin appears on Lissa's face but I don't give it much attention. "I guess that it was all just something made on impulse. I don't know, Liss. Maybe he thought about it quite much. But I didn't say anything either, like yes or no or whatever."

And she frowns. "And what? Would you have said no?"

"Are you crazy? Of course I wouldn't have said no. I _didn't_ say no. I would never consider saying no. I want that very much and you know it." and we spend some minutes in silence, considering things some more. "Should I wait for him to ask me the proper way? I mean, will he ask me again or we will get straight to planning?" it's kind of annoying not knowing. I guess I'll just have to ask him even though I might seem silly. That's what it is.

She laughs lightly. "Is there a proper way with the both of you?" she has a point here. We don't seem to be as normal as the others. And this is what I adore about us.

"Okay. Let's say that this was the proposal. What next? Should I go bride dress hunting? Teach me. You have a lot more experience than I do."

"Hey, we'll do this. You just wait until he says something. I don't know, it's not okay to push men, trust me. They freak out if you begin to push things forward. They _just_ have to go at their own pace. You know how much it took Christian to finally ask me to marry him and it was a miracle he eventually did. I started to think he would never do it and you know how close I was to be the one asking him." and we take a whole minute to laugh about that thing again, and we eventually stop with tears in our eyes. "Okay. Where were we? Oh! And, if Dimitri doesn't say anything about this all until, let's say, _my_ wedding comes, I'll help you kidnap him and you can get married at my wedding. We'll make a switch, okay? I waited until now. What would another month or so will mean?"

And we spend some more time making plans for a double wedding. It would be so funny to do this. After so many years of doing everything together, getting married at the same time doesn't seem weird for either of us and you know, why not do that?

* * *

I have borrowed a pyjama from Lissa and as it is too late already I decide that this mommy needs some sleep. I lay next to her and a strange feeling shots through me. Not strange. Familiar. It's funny, like some kind of déjà vu. I feel like I am sixteen again and Lissa and I have a sleepover at her house. And I can clearly remember a particular night. Back then, she confessed to me that she had a crush on a senior, obviously, none other than Christian, the dark, cocky, mysterious guy walking down the halls with hands in his pockets like nothing around was good enough to get his attention. A thing which, you can imagine, was a total shock for me. He was nothing resembling the other guys she dated before; he was quite the opposite in fact, in all the possible ways. And it wasn't very frequently that a girl like Lissa would be interested in a guy like him. But things happen.

It was more surprising for me what she asked me to do next. Her always being the shy one, she practically nagged me for days to go and get his number. And one day, I finally did it. Oh, and the attitude this guy had. He first thought that _I_ was the one interested in him. Can you believe this? Me having any interest in him? So funny. But what can I say; he was _that_ cocky back then. Now too, but we're dealing with it. When I explained to him the situation, he seemed intrigued. I saw that glint in his eyes as I was telling him more things about Lissa. And from then, the sparks appeared between them and well, we got to where we are today.

"I think we shouldn't sleep together." she says long after I have found a good position on the bed.

"And why not? Are you afraid you'll become horny overnight and want to do me? You don't have to worry; I wasn't into girls the last time I checked. Which is pretty recently because Dimitri and I-" she punches me in the arm. "Hey! What ar-"

"It's not about that. And while I am like this, you need to stop making sexual remarks around me or one day I might get to do you for reals." she says threateningly and then we laugh it off. But what can I do? I love those kinds of jokes. "But you might get sick too. You know, the two of us sleeping so close, sharing the same air and all these germs running around. I am still contagious." Her nurse side began to kick in again.

I wave my hand around, dismissing this possibility. "Meh, you know that I rarely get a cold. And the damage is already done. I have practically been sitting next to you since I came here, remember? We have shared lots of air and germs already."

"Oh, yeah. But-"

" _Okay_ , leave that. I'll be perfectly fine. Now to bed with you. Otherwise, I am going to get a lecture from Christian later because I didn't take care of you properly and I am not in the mood for that. Hell, he may even insert a dad joke. He must practice them for later, no? I mean, it takes quite some work to embarrass your daughter. And I so don't want to be his experiment. I had enough of that kind of jokes from my dad." but still, I cannot complain. My father is the best joker I know. From him I got my sense of humor.

But as Lissa is lightly purring next to me, sandman quickly dragging her into dreamland, I can't fall asleep. Like, at all. This day has been too perfect and the effects of what happened this morning still linger in my thoughts. He actually proposed to me. Somehow. But I know it. I feel it. We don't need the words either way. I am way too excited to go back home in the morning and meet my man.

* * *

To my content, Christian managed to get home around four and a half, earlier than expected. Yay to me! As I was not sleeping, I passed over the torch to him and headed home to my Russian as fast as possible, excitement running through me.

It's just five when I enter our apartment. I decide to try not to make any noise and not to open any light around the house, in the hopes that I will be able to surprise Dimitri with my coming, this if he fell asleep, of course. I blindly find the sofa and put all my things on it, along with almost all my clothes and make my way towards our bedroom in only my lingerie. I want to give him a nice sight of me when he opens his eyes.

I open the door and it is pitch black in here. It's darker than usual and I can't see shit. I guess that the blinds must have remained pulled shut from earlier. No biggie. I'll manage to get where I need to somehow. I make my way towards his side of the bed, my hands wiggling in front of me, careful not to hit anything in the process, and after I reach my destination, I slowly pat the covers, moving upward on his body, feeling his outline. I can't guess the position he is in, because he seems smaller. Okay, weird. But I don't give a second thought to that. I just grab the edge of the cover and pull it off him, but there is no reaction coming from him. Okay, let's try something else to wake him up. I lean to where his head should be, approximately speaking, I find a darker spot that must be his hair and lean even closer to where I hope is his ear and whisper: "Did you miss me, comrade?", getting a sexy tone in my voice.

But the response I get is totally unexpected. My whole world crumbles as I hear a woman speaking back to me. Every dream of mine turns to dust at her first sound. No, this cannot be. Please, someone tell me that I fell asleep next to Lissa and that this thing happening right now is just a horrible nightmare.

"Did you say something, Dimi?" she asks into a sleepy voice.

I take a step back, almost stumbling over my own feet and I frantically search for the switch of the lamp on the nightstand next to the bed. My trembling hands pat their way around and I finally find it and I turn on the light, which is hurting my eyes and I need to keep them shut for a second. After I fastly blink a few times to accommodate my eyes, I gather enough courage to actually look at the bed next to me, hoping that I am only just hearing things. That I just had a moment of inexplicable insanity and that in fact, there is no one else in bed except Dimitri.

But no. That is not the case. The first thing I see is a big bundle of dark red hair spread on the white pillow, looking to me like some spilled blood. And it belongs to a completely naked woman who is laying on the bed with her back turned to me, with Dimitri's hand around her middle, keeping her very close to his as well naked chest, their bodies touching so much! She is practically wholly on top of him. It's funny because I used to lay on him like that no more than half a day ago. This sight makes my stomach twist and knot into ways I have never felt before.

The woman is the first one to react at the light's disturbance. She lifts her head from Dimitri's chest and turns it my way, raising to her butt, turning completely to face me, and then she gets her rich hair out of her face. A pair of sleepy, seemingly confused deep blue eyes meets mine. It takes me a moment to realize who she is because I know her from somewhere. I should have realized this thing earlier when I saw her hair, but I was way too shocked by other things. My mouth opens all of a sudden but words don't want to come out as I remember. _It's her, the girl from the bar_! I feel dizzy already. _She is the same woman I bumped into earlier. It's her!_ No, this can't be happening.

Her expression changes at my sight, her face filling with the same surprise as I got when I saw her and rapidly, she covers herself with the sheet, pulling it up on her bare body, then turns to the other side of the bed and begins to shake Dimitri, urging him to wake up. Yeah, he surely needs to wake up now. Because he has a trip to make. To fucking hell.

"Hey, Dimi, wake up." She keeps on repeating while she is shaking him vigorously, her hands on his torso and the sound of her voice calling him like that is simply scratching my brain. I just want her to shut the hell up! I can't think properly.

After all that shaking, he finally wakes up and in a second he is fully aware, looking left and right, taking in his surroundings, but somehow, his gaze misses me. "Rose, what's wrong? What happened? Are you okay?" he asks and places his palm on that woman's thigh as he's looking behind him. Oh, Rose would surely tell you what the fuck is happening if she would be able to get out of her shock state. But I simply can't do anything. This whole thing is unrolling in front of me just like a movie and I surely am not one of the characters in the movie. Just a simple spectator.

"We have a problem. _She_ is here." oh, that would be me, no? "You told me she will come home later."

He gets up too. " _What_? What are you _talking_ about?" he says rubbing his eyes and blinking a few times, then looking at the woman next to him like it would be the first time he sees her, his eyes widening and he pulls his other hand away from her body. Yeah, be careful because it might burn you. "Who _are_ you?" yeah, I would like to know that too.

"Oh, come _on_ Dimi. Don't pretend that you don't know who I am just because _she_ is here, okay? She already knows what is happening here, she's not that stupid." and she gives me a little glance with the corner of her eye, just like she would want to see my reaction, but I am not capable of having one. "Be man enough to admit what you are doing, at least now when you are caught red-handed, will you? I didn't stumble and fall into your bed by accident." Her tone turns cold, just like the blood in my veins. I slowly take some more steps back until I feel the cold material of the closet gluing to my bare back and I lean over it so that I will not drop down on the floor as my feet can't support my weight anymore. Everything around feels so heavy.

"Wait, _what_? What are you _talking_ about? _Who the hell are you_? And what are you doing _here_?" he asks, raising his voice, almost shouting at her and making me tremble even more, and I become suddenly aware of how cold I feel.

"Fine! So be it!" she shouts in response. "Let's pretend, why not? But let me refresh your memory instead. What about that? My name is _Nina_." she practically spits the words in his direction. "Remember me now, darling? We _fucked_ earlier. And last week too. And so we did for the past couple of years, occasionally, usually when you get bored." she says this time and I swear I can feel some pride in her voice. "Are you happy now? Does it ring any bell?" she crosses her hands over her chest and watches him.

In a normal situation, I would have already been shouting at the top of my lungs and demanding an explanation or even punch someone, or at least _do something,_ but hearing her name simply shut my brain down. For once in my life, my mind is completely blank and I remain speechless and still as the things are unfolding in front of me. Rose Hathaway 0, shit that is happening 1.

Air. I need air because I have stopped breathing for some time now and I feel my lungs beginning to crumble. I try to exhale and it comes out as a sharp cry. Dimitri's face turns my way, finally spotting me and his eyebrows knit into a confused expression.

"Roza? Wha-"

"Oh my God." some strangled words finally break free from my mouth as my body bends forward involuntary, trying to suppress the terrible aching in my chest. But nothing seems to help.

I can't be here. It's too much already. I feel the walls beginning to grow tighter and tighter around me and my heart is beating so hard and so fast, threatening to break my ribcage. My ears obstruct from the pressure in my head and I can faintly hear someone call my name.

 **DPOV begins**

My head is ringing and I can't think straight right away. But all I know is that there is something wrong going on. Something very wrong. This woman that I thought was Rose but that turned out it's not Rose and that I don't know is next to me, completely naked and past her, just next to the closet is Roza, dressed only in her underwear, her face crumbled, being on the verge of crying. How did I get here, in this situation? I can't remember for the second. And what is _happening_ right now?

I get up from the bed and it is hard for me to keep my balance, the ground seeming to be slipping under me. This is such a strange feeling, just like I would be drunk, except that I am completely sober. I need to steady myself by holding on to the edge of the bed, but the only thing I know is that I have to get to her. Fast.

I keep on calling her name but it seems that she is in another place because I can't get a reaction from her. I must take one more step to reach her and she finally raises her head. When she looks at me, I feel like a stranger to her. All the warmth she was looking at me with every single time before is now gone. There is nothing that I can read into her beautiful eyes except fear. She looks like a scared animal. I reach my hand and slowly touch her shoulder, hoping that she won't pull back, praying that she will let me. And she doesn't do anything to get away from me. Instead, as our skins touch, she bursts into tears, making my heart break. She is sobbing hard and her face turns red in a matter of seconds and she is pressing the heel of her hand onto the place above her heart, her other going to her mouth, trying to muffle her cries.

I can't bare seeing her hurting like this and it drives me insane that there is nothing I can do to comfort her. I don't know what is happening and how I even ended up in this situation and I have no idea how I am going to make her understand all of this. I can't understand it myself. But I know what she might be thinking and the odds are surely not in my favor.

To soothe her pain, all I can think of is to encircle my hands around her and pull her close to me, latching my body to hers. She is still crying so hard, shaking the both of us from her deep sobs and her hot tears are falling down on my chest. I strengthen my embrace, trying to form a fortress around her with my arms. I cup the back of her head with my palm and try to move her, to make her look at me, but she stays still, not letting me.

"Roza, pl-"

"I _hate_ you." She says between sobs and I don't think I heard that right. Her words come like a slap to me. I place my hands on her shoulders and lift her off me, looking dumbly at her. Gosh, Rose. Please, don't do this. She stops her whining and her face turns dark. "Get your hands _off_ me! Don't you ever touch me again! _I hate you_!" she yells and with each word she pounds her fists into my chest hard, trying to push me backward.

 **DPOV ends**

Letting him even touch me might seem the stupidest thing for me to do in this context, but my heart just needed to feel his touch one more time. It needed to feel his arms tightly wrapped around me. Needed to feel one last time that he was mine. Or to fool myself that he ever was, just for a split of a second, only mine. That is why I let him take me into his embrace.

Staying there in his embrace, I tried to feel the same for him, to feel the same things I did a couple of minutes ago. I tried to love him again. I tried so hard to make myself feel that. But I couldn't. That feeling was now somewhere at the bottom of my heart, and all I could feel for him in that exact moment was hate. Hate for what he did. Hate for his betrayal. Hate for him breaking my trust. And I let him know that. And I pushed him away, not being able to bear the touch of our bare skins anymore. Not being able to be close to him anymore. And as I push him away, the look in his eyes breaks my heart even more. He has no right to be hurt by this! I am not the one who did him wrong!

I can't be near him anymore. I can't bear him even looking at me, or to look him in the eyes. The only way I can escape his gaze is to run. But I can't head out the bedroom door because he is blocking my way and I know I have no chance to get past him. He wouldn't let me. So I go the other way, getting as fast as I can into the bathroom, catching him by surprise. I lock the door just in time, before he begins to shake the doorknob.

"Rose, open the door." He keeps on saying. "Let me in." and "Please, Rose, just let me talk with you." or "I'll break this door if you don't open it." And what angers me the most of what he says: "Let me explain this to you. It's not what you think, I _swear_." What does he need to explain to me? What they have been doing for the past hours? No thank you. I don't ever want to know. My imagination is way more than enough. Anything he wants to "explain" to me, I won't buy it.

I turn on the water, covering his words with its sound, as he keeps on insisting on me to open the door, and I wash my face with ice cold water in the hopes to calm the wave of heating anger passing through me. How dare he do this to me!? How could he?

I lift my gaze, I stumble over my image into the mirror and I stop in shock. I am almost completely naked and my face is a complete mess. I grab the first piece of clothing I find and cover myself with it, trying to repair a little part of my disastrous appearance.

"So what are you going to do now? She made things pretty obvious, right? I mean… you heard her, no?" that woman asks sarcastically. Gosh, how can she be so shameless? "Are you still going after _her_? Like, really now, Dimi. I am right here." yeah, she is. That's the worst thing.

The movement from the other side of the door stops, then Dimitri speaks, his voice being unrecognizable for me, that full of rage it is. " _You_. Tell me right _now_ who you are and what you're doing here. Or else, I swear to God-" and I even hear the deep breath he takes in. " _Don't_ _play with my patience_."

"I already told you. What-"

As they speak, I see my opportunity to get out. Maybe the only one I will need if I am careful enough.

"That is _not_ the truth and you know it so damn well! Don't act like there would be something going on between us! Now just tell me what I want to know or else I won't be responsible for what happens next."

I open the door without any noise. Dimitri is with his back towards me, very close to that woman, almost hovering above her as she is casually looking at him like nothing wrong would be going around.

"Look, if you are hoping for me to lie and play this stupid game that you are playing with, 'Oh, who are you?', 'I have never seen you in my life.' and 'How the hell did you end up in my bed?' just so that your lady in there would believe something else, you are wrong. I agreed to be your lover along time, but I am not going to lie to that poor girl in the face." she gets up from the bed, getting to look him in the eyes defiantly. "We tried to keep it hidden as best as we could, it didn't work with this one, shit happens. It happened before. But I am not going to do the lying thing. I have some limits, okay? I'll just go now and let you deal with whatever you have to do." she bends down and picks up her stuff. "And don't call me anymore. I thought you were a real man, but it seems you're not. At least you could have been mature enough to take some responsibility."

"No. It doesn't work like this." he says getting a hold of her hand and shakes her lightly. "You are _not_ going to leave this place until you tell me what I want to hear, you get me? Tell me the truth! _Who_ sent you? Why are you doing this? Who made you do it? It was her, no?" and I can read the fear in her eyes, but still, she holds on to her position.

Okay. If I move fast enough, I can make it out of here. They are way too busy with each other to observe me. Or so I hope. I get out and flee on the bedroom door, trying to make as little noise as possible.

"Your girl is running away." Is the last thing I heard from that woman, venom filling her words. Gosh, how bitchy can she be? But she saw the chance to get away and she took advantage of it. So the only thing I can try to do is to move faster than I already am.

I was heading towards my only escape. I needed to get out of this place as fast as I could. I managed to get out the hallway of the building, got to the stairs too and even got down some levels, when a hand grabs mine and stops me. _Fuck_! And I was so damn close.

"Let _go_ of me!" but he just turns me around, drags me closer, rounds his palms on my shoulders and shakes me lightly, like trying to awaken me.

"Just _look_ at me, Rose." I lift my gaze and tears begin to form again in the back of my eyes. _No_. I am _not_ going to cry. He doesn't deserve my tears.

"I can't be like Tasha, Dimitri. I can't live like this. I just _can't_..."

He sighs deeply. "Rose, _listen_ to me, _please_."

I shake my head like crazy. "No, Dimitri. Not _this time_. Not again, not _ever_!" I say shaking my head continuously. "She was _right_." and I laugh bitterly. "God, you'll _never_ change. I was _such_ a fool to think otherwise. I try to pull away but he gets a hold of my wrists and holds me tight.

"Rose, I didn't _do_ _anything_ with that woman. I swear. I don't even kn-"

 _"_ No, no, _no_! Don't do that fucking thing again! Stop _lying_ to me! This is the first and the _last_ _thing_ like this that you do to me, you hear me? You have been doing this with her for the past years! For the past _three months_ too, Dimitri! For the past three months, you have been doing it behind my back! How _could_ you?" I begin to pound on his chest with my fisted palms, letting out all my anger and trying at the same time to get away from his grip, but it is inescapable.

"Rose, it's not wh-"

"You- you got _bored_ of me..." my voice cracks as this realization washes over me.

"Roza…" he says faintly. "I would never…" and he tries to caress my cheek, but I slap his hand away.

"And you lied to me for so long and I _trusted_ you! You said you didn't know any Nina! You said that the woman at the bar doesn't seem familiar to you! And now I find you in bed with her? You got around my back and did _this_? What, you just couldn't wait until I would come back, no? You just had to get some! And she was just there and willing. She always has been." I laugh bitterly as I remember him saying me that he doesn't care about anyone except me. Well, it seems he cares about Nina. One of his favorites as Tasha said. "This is why she was always at the bar at the same time with us? In case you would get bored of me some more and needed someone to change the decor with?" he opens his mouth to say something in response but I raise my voice, not giving him the chance to speak at all. "What was I for you for all this time, huh? Nothing more than a _stupid_ woman to mess around with, no? Because how could I ever mean something to you when you go around and do shit like this, Dimitri?!"

"God, Rose. Please don't say that. I kn-"

And this is the second I try to punch him but his reflexes are way too good and he stops me just in time and he again gets a hold of both my wrists.

"I thought that you- And after- after what happened _last morning_? What did you want to get with that? Were you going to marry me and have a nice façade family, no? Was that all you ever wanted from me? Nice. _Really nice_. What did you _think_? That I would wait patiently for you at home, raising children or doing chores around the house while you were out doing God knows what with other women? I can't be like this. I _won't_ be like this! Get that into your fucking head!"

"Come on, Roza. Do you really think I would ever do such a thing to you?"

I laugh to his face. "I don't know! I don't know _you_ anymore, Dimitri. Maybe I never did. I let you fool me with this perfect guy acting of yours an-"

"Why won't you trust me with this?" and at this, my jaw drops for a second. "You don't see any-"

"Wait a second. Are you _really_ asking me that shit? I really _trusted_ you, Dimitri. Past tense. I really did. _God_ , Dimitri I trusted you so fucking much! I believed everything you told me. Until this very moment. And you still have to ask _why_? Really? I'll tell you why! Because you just gave a pretty damn good reason not to trust you! She is 6 feet something, with red hair and she is laying in our bed. No, excuse me. _Your_ bed only because I guess that it was never ours." and I am so close to him it is hard not to break in tears right now. I just can't bear this closeness. So I just grit my teeth until my whole jaw hurts, but I'll be damned if I am going to cry again. "And, I mean, if I trusted you with everything, then why hiding this when you could be obvious about it and make me think otherwise while you blamed it all on Tasha? She already had plenty of reasons to try to do that shit with the text from Nina so why wouldn't you have taken advantage of it? It was the perfect occasion. And being the fool I am, I trusted you."

And all he does is to open his mouth to pour out some more lies. To hell if I am sitting around to listen to him. I try to pull my hands back for the hundredth time, but still, he doesn't let go of me. In my desperation, I let out a long wince. "Let _go."_ and I wiggle my hands again with no success. I don't know how he's doing it, but even if he is not holding me tight, I still can't escape him. And so, I resume to maybe my only way out. "Dimitri, you're _hurting_ me." I say even though that is not true. But I don't know what else to do to get out of here. Well, he's at least not hurting me physically because when it comes to my heart, he turned it into little pieces.

His eyes widen at first, he looks down at our hands, then his expression softens and so does his grip, almost letting go of me. "God, Roza. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to. I would never…" I pull my hands hard once and I escape his grip.

And I want to turn away, but there is one more thing that I need to do before that. I take off the ring he gave me yesterday and break it in front of him, then throw it in his direction. " _This_ is how much I meant to you, right? God, Dimitri. You broke my fucking heart!" and eventually, those fucking tears fall down my cheeks as I am not able to hold them anymore. "But hey. You managed to get me into your bed. I hope you're really proud of yourself. _Fuck!"_ I wipe my tears as best as I can. _"_ I don't want to see you ever again. Go back to your favorite woman. I am sorry I wasn't good enough to mean something more to you."

I turn around and run like hell and as I reach the first step, I feel his fingers brushing over mine into his attempt to catch me again. I haven't run like that in my entire life. I can hear him following me but somehow I manage to descend the too many stories faster than him and get outside, losing myself through the empty streets and buildings.


	51. Chapter 51

**Hey guys! I just want to mention that as I am posting this chapter my clock strikes 11:55 p.m., so I am still in time, even if it took me a lot to update. But I just got a little carried away with writing and when I realized what time is it, it was already 11:30.**

 **But here is it!**

 **Hope you'll like it.**

 **I promise I will make things better. :)**

 **Just bear with me**

 **Lots of love!**

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

I get out of the building and look around for her. But she is nowhere to be found. And there are so many possibilities where she could have gone. I know she is good at running, but where did she go so fast? I was just behind her!

I decide to go left, out of some kind of instinct but to my complete misfortune, I head towards a dead end. She isn't here. I'll better go and take my car. It will be easier and faster for me to find her like that. As I head back, a woman that was passing beside me catches me by my hand and stops me. I don't recognize her. And I don't have the time to listen to her, that's for sure.

"What do you want?" I almost snap at her.

She grins. "You walking around like this means that you are looking for someone to have fun with, right? You wanna go to my place? I leave nearby." she asks as her eyes travel up and down on me and her fingers lightly touch my forearm.

I pull my hand from hers and simply leave away from there. All I needed now was for some woman to be hitting on me. Just perfect. I take a look at myself too and realize that I am only wearing a pair of boxers.

Okay, what _happened_ last night? I really need to remember. And fast. It's about time, goddamnit. As I roam some more on the streets, I try to put my thoughts in order. Everything that happened after Rose left the bar is covered by a thin blur at first, but memories start to form clearly in my mind as I keep on thinking more about last night. I remember having another drink or two before I started to feel a little dizzy; maybe it was the alcohol starting to make its effect on me. Or at least that is what I thought at that moment. Then, I was going out of the bar with this woman. I was feeling weird and she offered to help me get a taxi. I didn't say no. It was quite hard for me to have any conscious thoughts at that moment and I simply agreed with her I guess. But instead of getting me a taxi, we got to my car. I remember her somehow dragging me into my car and me not protesting to that. I was quite cooperative with the things that were happening to me. And then I guess she took me home; that little part of the night is quite a blur. And then, all of a sudden we were into my apartment. And last thing I know before I fell asleep is that she was trying to undress me and I kept on pushing her away, that being the only resistance I was able to pay to her. I didn't want to go that way with her. And under no circumstance, I would have had sex with that woman. Unless she has done something with me while I was out, which is highly improbable. I _know_ I didn't do anything. I would never do such a thing. Not to Rose. Never to Rose. And I am one hundred percent that when I closed my eyes that we both had our clothes on. That at least I am sure of. Of what happened after I closed my eyes, well, I have no certainty about that. But, the only way I got this naked is by that woman undressing me after I was out. And this just comes perfectly. Now I have to go and get dressed and this only means some more wasted time.

As I get up the stairs, I remember that I left the so-called Nina in the bedroom, and in this moment, she is my only chance to make some sense of why this thing happened. I have my suspicions, but I have to get her to tell me the truth anyway. She is the only one who can shed some light on this matter right away.

But as I get in the apartment, she is nowhere to be found. The place is empty. Goddamnit! I should have known that she will leave the first time she gets a chance, but I had some other things to give my attention to first. Everything I can find out of place is a note on the coffee table, written in a hurry: "I am sorry. I had no other choice.'' the note says. Fuck! What does this even mean? Who made her do this thing after all?

I take my anger on the table in front of me, turning it to shards. Roza's face still haunts me. The pain in her eyes is simply unbearable. How am I going to make things right now that I lost that woman?

 _Tasha_. The thought suddenly crosses my mind again. She must be the one behind all of this, there's no one else that could possibly be the author of this charade. I know for sure that she was the one who was sending me all those messages signed by Nina. There's no one else that could have done such a thing. And the fact that the name of the woman that was here is Nina too is way too coincidental for things not to be connected.

Instead of going out to look for Rose, I head towards Tasha's place. I need to make her tell me everything. To make her tell everything to Rose too. Otherwise, there is no point in me finding Rose. She would not listen to me unless I come with some proof. Unless I come with something that she would see and believe. Because the things she has just seen in here? It's hard to let someone tell you otherwise. Before heading out, I call Stan and tell him everything I know about this Nina. I need to find her too, that's for sure.

And as soon as I end that call, my phone rings. It's Viktoria. Oh, God, please make things be alright with her this time because I don't think I'll manage to deal with everything going on now. As I get into the elevator, I answer the call, trying to save some time.

"Hey, Vika. Is everything alright?"

"Yes, sure. I am fine."

"Are you sure?" I get suspicious.

She puffs. "Yes, I am, Dimka." and she stops.

"So, this means you're heading back home, no?"

She sighs. "Yes. I am. I am just into the airport, waiting for my airplane."

"Then, why you called? Don't get me wrong, but I am in kind of a hurry right now."

"Dimitri, you know you are my favorite brother, no?"

I get out of the building. "I am your _only_ brother."

She chuckles. "Yeah, that's right. But still. I want to ask you something and don't get me wrong because I am doing it out of love."

"Okay. Shoot."

And her tone changes to angry in a second. " _What the fuck is that I have just seen?_ "

I stop just beside my car, confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't you play that card, Dimitri. I have seen the magazines. There are plenty of shops in town, you know? How could you do such a thing to Rose?" and then her voice softens. "What happened? I thought that you two…"

Goddamnit! "It got to the media?"

"Oh, so you're not denying it?"

"Come on Vika. Do you think I would do such a thing to her?"

She sighs. "No, I don't. I really don't. And this is the exact reason I am asking you what the hell happened to you!" and I briefly tell her what I think happened. "Oh, shit. And where is Rose now?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"But you'll find her, no?"

"You'd bet I will find her. I am not going to let things like this,"

"Yeah, that's my brother. Do you need some help with that?"

"No, Vika. You'd better go home." she has her own problems to deal with.

"You sure?"

"Yes. I will make things right. You just go home and make sure everyone there is alright."

"You know that that will be hard when mama and the others find out about this, no? She really likes Rose and you should prepare yourself for a call from her too."

"Yeah, I know. But I'll explain it to her if you don't get the chance to do that first. I'll make her understand."

"Yeah. And she will trust you. She knows what a man she has raised. Now just go and find her, okay?"

"Yeah, I will." but I need to be somewhere else first.

 **DPOV ends**

I walk aimlessly through the city's streets, trying to get as far away as possible. On my way, a lot of people have been throwing glances in my direction and I do my best to avoid their eyes, but still, some of them, who had some more courage, asked me if I was alright. In response I would just nod absently and go further, heading nowhere some more, searching for some peace of mind. But I can't find any, nowhere I would go. I walk around the streets I have seen every single day for months, streets I often walked with Dimitri at night, their familiarity filling the holes in my chest with fake hopes. I still can't believe what just happened.

First, my steps take me in front of Belikov Enterprises. Ironic, no? But it's the only path in town I know by heart. I take a seat on a bench into the park facing the gigantic building. I remember my first day here, seeing him for the first time, sitting in that door frame, a hard expression on his face as he was studying me. There was something that began to pull me towards him from that exact moment, just like he had a force of gravity of his own. And then, in the elevator when he seemed someone else, someone nicer, even though just for a split of a second. I don't think I ever got to really understand him even though II cracked his code, that I managed to get to the real him. But it seems that I didn't. He has always been hot and cold with me, or at least that is how I made him be around me, that until he finally said those superb three words to me. After that, he was so warm and so good and loving with me. Why would he do this to me? Why would he play with me like this? Why would he pretend? Gosh, I really thought he changed. But maybe I wished so much he would change that I actually got to fool myself that he did.

God, I want to pound my fists on him until I can't feel my hands anymore. I want to yell, to shout, to curse and so many other things. To let it all out. But I don't. I am simply sitting on a bench and watch people pass me. And I don't do anything. I don't feel like moving at all. But still, this anger is boiling inside me and I can't do anything to stop it.

I wish I never met him in the first place! I wish I never came to this fucking town and didn't get that damned job and...and...and not meet him! Ever! _You don't really mean that, Rose._ Yes, I do!...or at least I wish I do.

I was such a fool to believe all his lies. He told me that there was no Nina, that he never knew one. And I trusted all of his deceiving words. He lied me to my face! As he told me, I thought too that Tasha was the one who planned all this into another attempt to break us apart and that she was just a good actress when she told me that she had no idea what I was talking about. It seems that once in her life, she actually told the truth. Who would have thought?

But Dimitri surely didn't let this chance get away unused and found a way to use this whole story in his advantage, just to mess up with two women at the same time. He just couldn't get enough, right? God, I feel so used. I was just some backup or something like this, no? Just another woman on his list. But gosh, he made me feel so special and I really thought that he loved me. And then, he would just go to another. Who knows for how many times? Who knows with how many others too? All those late nights he spent at the office and him telling me that I should go home to rest? It actually seems that my wellbeing wasn't what was concerning him after all.

That woman said that they met last week too. So she was the late problem he had to solve that night. It's no surprise that he looked so anxious for a split of a second when I asked him about how it went. He lied me to my fucking face, again, with no sign of remorse. And I, being the fool I am, I trusted him. And you know what? I want so bad to believe him too. But I simply can't. Not after what I have just seen. I can't erase that image of their naked bodies entangled in his bed out of my brain.

And now, he just pretended that nothing happened between the two of them, even though I _saw_ with my own fucking eyes that they were tangled into our bed. And even when that Nina told the truth he kept on denying it. He's so fucking shameless. How can he think that I would believe him ever again? I know I have my faults and that I doubted him because of Tasha, but I trusted him without a second thought when he said there is no Nina and now? Now I find him in bed with her, so there goes my trust in him, out the window.

But you know what is worse than anything? That Tasha was right. And I just didn't want to listen. I really thought that he changed. And in my foolishness, I ended up just like her, just like she warned me. I ended up being just one of his other women.

 **DPOV begins**

I have never, ever, in my entire life laid a finger on a woman with the intention to hurt her. But in this moment, only God knows how much I wanted to make Tasha feel the pain I saw in Rose's eyes this morning. Even just half would have been enough. And gosh, how much pain Tasha deserves for what she has done.

I went to her apartment and we talked. Nothing more, for her own good. But I wasn't able to get a thing out from her. She kept on insisting that she had no connection with what happened, that she had no idea what I was talking about, that she moved on after the last incident with Rose, that she finally realized what bad she has done and those were the only responses I managed to get from her, no matter what threats I would come up with or how intimidating I tried to be. I think I broke half the things in her apartment just to keep myself from hurting her, but she just kept her ground and denied everything. I even tried to make her brag about it, playing the defeated one but she still didn't say anything, probably thinking about the possibility that I was recording her, which I was totally doing.

And without her telling me what I needed to know, I have not so much hope left. The situation has gotten way out of control and I can't do a thing to repair it for now. I am completely powerless. I was such a fool to let my guard down. I thought that Tasha finally stopped and got over it and I didn't pay much attention to what was happening anymore. I should have known better than this. But I won't give up. I won't stop until she will tell me everything I want to know. If she can make Rose's life and mine a living hell, I can do the same with hers. There are two of us who can play this game and I am going to play it better than her. She will get to regret everything. I had enough of her.

 **DPOV ends**

And after that much time sitting and staring at nothing, I start feeling cold. So I decide to get moving again. To where, I have no idea. I cross the street and just in front of the building I get past a newsstand. My eyes involuntarily land on a photo of me that is just on the cover. It is of me and Dimitri and it is from last night, as we were at the bar, the image capturing just the moment I was teasing him, both of us having smiles on our faces. And next to that photo is another one of Dimitri and that woman as they are staying next to his car, his arm around her waist and hers around his as well and she is widely smiling. And the title is big and bold: "Dimitri Belikov's new affair. He goes to the bar with one woman and gets home with another.". This is just perfect. The whole town already knows. I guess I was the last one who found out about it.

"Hey, you need to pay that if you want to read it." the seller says to me and snatches the magazine away from me.

I hurriedly pat my inexistent pockets. "I am sorry, I don't have any mo-"

And he takes a look at me with his eyes widened, then looks at the cover of the magazine. "Oh, crap. Here," he says extending the magazine to me and gives me a weird smile. "you can have it for free if you want it."

And I am a second away to burst out crying. Instead, I shake my head no and walk away fast. Just perfect. Now the whole town might get to pity me. I just want to find a pitch and go die in there.

 **DPOV begins**

"Come on, James. I know you took those damn pictures and that she made you do it. Whatever she is paying you, I can give you double, so spill it all out right now."

"Okay, seriously now. It wasn't me." and I have to trust him because the right amount of money usually makes him find his tongue and talk about anything. " _Even though_ , I wish it was me. You know how much money that bastard got?" okay, now he's saying what I want to hear.

"Who?"

"That fucker, Theo. He came in this morning bragging that he has hit the jackpot." yeah, I imagine that news like that would bring him a lot of money.

"Where is he? I need to speak with him."

"I don't know, man."

He is not helping me at all. "Then when he usually comes around here?"

He shrugs. "It depends. If you are lucky enough you may find him around right now, still bragging about his accomplishment. Or not. He may probably be getting wasted into some shady bar, just like usual. He has the money now." he says bitterly.

"And can you take me to him?"

He crosses his arms over his chest. "I don't know. What will I get from that?"

I don't have the time to negotiate anything. "How much do you want?" and a grin appears on his face and soon he does as he is being asked to.

* * *

And just when I thought that I would have some proof against Tasha, James takes me to meet a half hangover guy that, in the very second he sees me comes to me and thanks me for what I just did, him being probably the only person who has gotten something good from this damn situation. Him and Tasha, of course. He says that me being in that bar last night was something he didn't expect and he couldn't have wished for something more than to catch me while I was cheating on my girlfriend. He said that it was just the happiest coincidence that he was at the bar last night. And it is hard not to believe that he had nothing to do with this morning's events because when I asked him about Tasha, he just told me that she was already old news and he has never met her.

So, unfortunately, this means that I have only two more things to try now in order to prove my innocence. The next stop, the hospital. And I have to call Stan to see how things are going with finding Nina.

 **DPOV ends**

Later on, my steps finally take me to my only home left in this town. To the only place I can go to now. Before heading upstairs I take a look at my face into a window's glass. And even into the translucent image of myself, I can see that I am a complete mess. No wonder people were looking at me like I'd have just escaped from the nuthouse because I surely look like I did.

I consider things before knocking at their door. Should I burden them with this? _No, they don't need this._ But I have no other place to go. And I don't know what to do next. I have no other place to go to is the only thought that pushes me to get further. So I summon up the courage and actually knock on that door. It opens soon and Lissa greets me, wearing a tight lilac blouse that is stressing her growing belly, and is emphasizing her doll features. Seeing her happy expression change, I already regret my choice of coming here.

"Rose? Wha-?" and she looks at me head to toe, shock filling her angelic features. "Oh my God, you are bleeding!" how could she guess? "Rose, your foot." and I take a look down at myself. I am only wearing a shirt that is ending somewhere above my knees and my feet are bare. Oh, yeah. I didn't have the time to get some shoes when I left, I didn't realize. And, as Lissa just said, I am actually bleeding, not only on the inside.

"Come inside right now." she says and grabs my hand, taking me in and sitting me on the sofa. Her nurse instincts kick in and we don't speak as she is carefully taking care of my injury. It seems that I stepped on some glass. But I didn't realize it. I didn't feel a thing. My physical pain is not what concerns me now.

"Rose, what happened with you? Are you okay?" she is sitting across me on the sofa, holding my hands into hers, looking so much like a mother to me in this moment, her soft words trying to be reassuring. But her questions crack me and I begin to cry again with sobs and the whole package. I lift the sleeve of the thing that I am wearing to wipe away my tears and I meet his scent. The smell of wood and spices and the light smell of salt from his skin brings back thousands of memories and my heart begins to long for him, for his gentle touch on my skin, for his voice whispering my name. I look down at myself again and realize that in my haste, I got dressed with one of his sweaters. In a second I take it off and throw it across the room.

Lissa looks at me shocked. I can tell that the wheels are spinning in her head. Then, her features get soft and she asks me: "It's Dimitri, isn't it?". I nod, letting out a strangled wail and shot into her warm embrace.

* * *

It takes me some time to tell her everything that happened, but I finally calmed down again and I am now on the sofa, a thick blanket around me to keep me warm.

"I'm going to him." Lissa announces me and goes towards the door and picks up her shoes. I get up and hurry after her to stop her.

"Liss, don't. There is nothing more to be said."

"Fine. I won't talk to him at all. I don't have to hear his excuses anyway. I'll just set his car on fire. Or maybe I'll set him on fire! I don't care, but it must hurt a lot. He can't do this to you!"

As much as I would like to do the same things she said, I know that there is nothing could comfort me. Unless he'd be here and- _but he's not_. Right. And he will never be ever again, no matter how bad I want it. This is the truth and, for my own good, I need to make peace with it as fast as possible.

I place myself in between her and the door. "No, you are not going anywhere, Liss."

"But he must pay for this! He can't just play with your feelings like this and make you think all these" she began to be somehow hysterical by now "things and then go around and wiggle his dick around and look for other-"

I lift my hands, catching hers and stopping all her gesturing around. God, she is so furious right now. It's funny, because I am not furious anymore even though I should be. All I can feel now is nothing. I am completely numb.

"Hey, calm down. It's not good for the baby." she surely doesn't need all my drama right now. She sighs and relaxes a little, then puts her arms around me, squeezing the air out of my lungs.

"I don't want you to hurt, Rose." well, it's already too late for that.

"I am going to be fine, Liss." at least I hope I will someday.

* * *

For the past three days, my phone didn't stop buzzing. I would constantly get calls and texts from Lissa, Christian too, my mum, my dad, and the list goes on with persons who have seen the news into the magazines and that are worrying for me and want to know how I am doing but all I want is to be left alone. I don't feel like speaking with anybody. And, of course, some of them are from Dimitri, who is probably asking me to meet him or to give him the chance to explain himself some more, I don't really know. I only listened to the first two voicemails from him. He might have said more, but I didn't want to listen. I just put my phone on silent and left it on the nightstand.

This whole thing started shortly after Lissa and Christian went to Dimitri's place to get all of my things. I wanted things to be dealt with as fast as possible. I wanted it all to be done. I wanted to break off from everything that meant Dimitri. So I gave them my key and to their success, Dimitri wasn't home to stop them. Not that I would have been afraid of that. The thing I hoped wouldn't happen was for the two men to meet. Because when Christian heard about what happened, he went apeshit. Worse than Lissa I may say. For me. I was truly shocked by this. That he cared that much. Between us, well, things weren't always going perfectly, we had a lot of bad things going on along time, but he practically wanted to smash Dimitri's face in the moment he found out. And to be completely honest, I didn't know for which one of them to worry more, considering Dimitri's built and Christian's anger. But there was nothing good that could have gotten out of that, this is sure. And all I wanted in that moment was for things to be done; no more conflicts, no more drama, no more anything. I wanted it all to be done. But luck was by my side and everything went smoothly. And after I got most of my things back, I left. And now I am sitting in a crappy motel room, not wanting to burden my friends even more. They already did way too much for me and they surely don't need me around to fuck up their mood with my sadness.

You know what is worse than a broken heart? If you want to say that nothing, let me disagree. Try having a bitch of a cold along with that and tell me how this works for you because I feel like total shit. It was not enough that my mind and my heart were killing me; my body just decided that it would be nice to fuck with me too, three days after I took care of Lissa. I guess she was right after all. I shouldn't have stayed so close to her. I got all her germs. But she didn't feel that bad back then. Well, with me, things are worse. Way worse. I am running a fever and my whole body hurts. I can barely get out of bed, that's how bad it is. Of course, the walk I made around town half naked that horrible morning had something to do with this, I am sure.

* * *

Five minutes passed since I ordered something to eat and someone is already knocking at my door. Wow, that was fast. I crawl my way out of the bed and finally get to the newly painted door and open it. But there is no delivery boy facing me. It's Dimitri. As I see him, a little whimper escapes my mouth. God, I missed him so much. I missed that beautiful face of his, those warm eyes looking at me, his touch. In my heart, the sun began to rise and my whole being warmed, but in my brain, it started to pour as I get flashes from that morning. I just wish to be able to make my mind once and for all but these conflicting emotions are tearing me apart. Where are the days of clear skies? Can't we just go back to them? No. The truth is that we can't. And we never will.

And I panic. How did he find me here? I didn't tell anyone where I am staying. No one knows. I try to shut the door as fast as I can. But his foot stops the door just before I manage to do anything. He opens it back and calmly makes his way into the room, closing it behind it.

Not knowing what else to do, I begin to yell at him. "Get out now! You have no right to be here! How _dare_ you?" my already hurting throat begins to ache harder but I don't stop, I keep on alternating the yelling with some coughing as he slowly comes closer to me and I take steps back in order for him not to reach me. "Why are you here? Go away! I will call for security! I don't want to hear your lies anymore! I don't want to see you! I ha-"

In a swift movement, he glues me to the wall and places a hand on my mouth to make me stop. He's so close to me now that I feel his breath brushing on my boiling hot skin and he is lightly pinning me to the wall, preventing me from moving much.

"Roza, please, just _listen_ to me. For this very time, _listen_ to what I have to say." he says anguished and so softly that I stop and simply stare at him. But he doesn't say anything either. He is watching me with that gaze he was always looking at me, the one full of love. If that was ever love I could see in his eyes. This only hurts me some more. Why is he doing this to me?

My nose being clogged, my mouth is my only source of air. And he is covering it with his palm. "I can't breathe." I mumble between his fingers, my lips brushing on the cold skin of his hand.

"'What?"

"I can't breathe." I mumble again and then try to move my mouth, trying to get a good breath in. He takes his hand off my mouth and apologizes, but doesn't let go of me, his body still pining mine to the wall.

"Rose, I just wa-"

"Dimitri, stop. Please. There are no words on earth that you could ever say to me that would make me forget what I saw." I am speaking funny because my nose is clogged and my throat is sore, the screaming from earlier not helping either. "I believed _every single lie_ you told me. Hell, I don't even know if you ever told me the truth in the first place. About anything. But I trust what I saw with my damn eyes too. And seeing you-" my voice cracks just I remember. "Just _go_ , Dimitri. Don't make things harder for me. I don't know what you want from me, but I can't be like her. I can't be impassible at these things. I _can't do_ this, okay? I can't just sit around and watch yo- watc-" and again, I get coughing. For the love of God, how am I going to speak with him if I keep on interrupting myself?

He places his palm on my forehead now, like he would be taking my temperature. "Roza, you are burning." He says and moves his hand down to my cheek. I turn my head towards it, brushing my lips on his skin, trying to soothe the pain in my chest with his touch. God, what am I _doing_? I pull away, breaking contact completely.

"Dimitri, just go. Please leave me alone. I can't do this thing…"

"No."

I laugh. "You are _not_ the one who decides that. Get out of here before I begin to scream for help." Well, I'll see how this goes on later. I think I'll break my vocal cords if I try this.

But he still says no. "Look, Rose. Hate me. Do whatever you want. You are upset with me, I get it. And I will take it if that is what you want. But let me take care of you for now. You are so sick. You can't be left alone." And he takes my hand into his and tries to drag me towards the bedroom. I break free from his grip.

"Don't _touch_ me!"

"Rose, for once, please stop being so _stubborn_. I am not going to do anything to you. Do you think I would ever hurt you?" he asks and I want to give him a stinging response about how he already hurt me, but I don't get the chance because he simply picks me up on his shoulder. I struggle to make him let go of me, I hit him with my legs and punch him in the back as I yell at him, but he doesn't care at all. And God, it really feels so good to hit him after bottling up in me so many things for the past days. He does nothing to stop me. And anyway, what power do I really have in this state? I bet he can barely feel my hits. He takes me into the bedroom and lays me in the bed and puts the covers on me fast. "Just stay in there okay?" he says imposing. I consider my chances and decide that I won't get out of this bed soon. I am angry, but not stupid. And my whole flesh is hurting so bad from my struggling, so why would I even bother? So I lean my back on the bedpost and watch him.

"Don't you have a business to run? Something more important to do than to be here?" I ask sarcastically.

"Not now. Your health is more important." pff, yeah sure. He leans over one wall and crosses his arms, watching me too. What, is he going to guard me all day long? "Have you taken any pills?" No, I haven't. I thought that this little bitch of a cold would pass by its own, but it seems to be persisting. I am even beginning to think that it would take a worse turn. With my luck, who knows? I shake my head no in response. "Have you eaten something?"

"Another woman to fuck then? There surely must be one waiting for you." I continue my questioning, venom filling my words. He doesn't say anything, but his face says enough already. And he seems hurt by my words. Well, the truth hurts, right?

"You are unfair, Rose."

"Am I?" I get out of bed and head his way. "What about _you_?" and I get so close to him that I am breathing his air, our faces millimeter apart. "How would _you_ call it when you get home and find the man you loved most in bed with another woman?" his expression goes blank. "Yeah, what about calling _that_ unfair?"

"You just said… the man you _loved_ most?" and I can feel the pain in his words. It's good that he at least heard me because I said it on purpose.

I cross my hands over my chest. "Yes. I did."

He smiles lightly. "You don't mean that, Roza."

"Are you that sure?" he nods and this makes me so angry! "Well, too bad. Because I meant each word of it."

"Then say it again." he provokes me.

And I lean closer to him once more and I choose a point on the wall behind him to look at because I can't lie him to his face, like he so easily did so many times. " _I don't love you anymore._ Not after you did to me." I say as cold as I possibly can. And the way I said it makes me hate myself for it.

His cold palm gets a hold of my cheeks and he moves my head just perfectly for our eyes to meet. Just perfect for me to get lost into the warmness of his glance. Goddamnit! Why is he doing this to me? "Now say that again and look me in the eyes, Rose."

And I am breathing so hard from how bad I am trying not to cry right now and I need to gulp my tears a couple of times before I find the courage to speak. "I don't...I don't l…" and I let out a whine and pull away, turning my back to him. I just can't do it! In spite of everything, I can't give up on loving him. I think I never will. And just when I want to get away, he catches my wrist, not letting me get far. I pull it free and instead of trying to get away somehow, I ask for a compromise. Plus, I am desperately trying to make forgotten the previous incident. He knows I can't lie him to his face and what just happened is not doing any good to my cause.

"If I listen to you, will you leave me alone?" He shakes his head. I lift my arms up in despair. "What do you _want_ then?"

"Nothing. I am not leaving You can't be alone in this condition."

I throw myself into a pleading of why he should leave me alone, but I soon get interrupted by the knocking at the door. Dimitri goes to open it and returns with my soup. I totally forgot about it. He makes me sit in bed and then makes me eat all of it. And I do it not because he told me so, but because I am starving.

As I am eating, Dimitri gets out of the room and goes God knows where, but this is my chance to get away. To hell if I am going to sit around for one more second. I can't bear to be near him. It hurts too much. I hastily put on my shoes and I can only manage to take three steps outside the room because this man comes back and catches me just in time. Where did he go just for one minute or so?

"What are you doing?"

"What does it seem to you? I am getting out of here. If you are not leaving, then I am."

"No, you are not." And he again carries me like a sack of potatoes back in the room.

"You know this accounts as kidnapping, no?" I try to bring some sense into this discussion. "I could call the police."

But all he does is to cross his arms over his chest and throws me one of his signature looks, getting to act bossy, which only gets to annoy me some more. "You can't roam the streets with a fever like that Rose, understand this." he says softly, contrasting with his imposing pose. "Now, here. Take this." He says handing me some pill. I take it. Anything to make me feel better because I can barely keep myself together in this condition but of course, to hell if I am letting him be right. And maybe by taking this pill I will get better soon enough and have some more chances to actually run from him again.

Then he tells me that I should get some sleep, acting so bossy once more. But I do as he says again. For once because if I am sleeping I won't have to see his face, which is working just fine for me. And second, maybe he will even get a call from one of his other ladies while I am asleep and he will leave and when I will wake up I will be alone again to wallow in peace.

 **DPOV begins**

It takes her about two minutes to fall asleep, that tired she was. And in just about an hour after she cuddled in between the covers, she started shaking really bad. I get to her to check her temperature once more. And it got worse than earlier. I thought that it will subdue thanks to the pill I gave her, but unfortunately, it didn't. She is really hot. And this cannot go on like this. It is not good for her. And I might have an idea of how to fix things a little.

I slowly walk my fingers across her burning cheek. "Roza? Hey. You need to wake up."

But she doesn't pay me any attention. She just lets out a little sigh and pulls the covers tighter around her, her body still shivering. Okay then, I will do it. I get the covers off her and she curls her body even more when the air in the room makes contact with her sweaty skin. I lift her up and she slowly moans at my touches, probably her whole body hurting, but I have no other choice than to move her as she seems pretty unconscious. I take her clothes off and pick her up, she making herself little into my arms and starting to shiver even harder as I head to the bathroom.

"Dimitri? Is that you?" she barely says, her teeth clattering.

"Yes, Roza. I am here." I respond to her and turn the water into the shower on.

She tries to keep her eyes open, but doesn't manage to do that for more than a few seconds. Then, she tilts her head a little, gulps hard and licks her cracked lips. "Why didn't you love me?" she asks trying to get a hold of my T-shirt but doesn't have the force and very soon goes back to her unconscious state. But at her words, I freeze in place just in front of the shower door for a second. Is this what she thinks? That I never loved her? God, she must be hurting so much from having this thought in her head.

 **DPOV ends**

I wake up as cold water runs over me. Cold, _cold_ water. I have no idea where I am or how I ended up in this place, but it feels _so good_ to be here. I am boiling on the inside and this thing helps tremendously. But as I open my eyes, I realize that I am not alone in that wonderful place. I am in Dimitri's arms, who is in the shower with me, both sitting on the shower's floor, the cold water falling on both of our bodies.

He gets my wet hair out of my face and then lays his palm on my forehead, stopping for a couple of seconds the drops of water from falling into my eyes, seconds in which I get to see him clearly. "Do you feel better like this?" and all I have the power to do is to nod and he moves his fingers down on my cheek, caressing it with his thumb.

I feel so drowsy, but I slowly lift my palm and place it on his wet T-shirt, then as slowly, I lift my head and catch his eye as he turns his head completely in my way. "Why are you doing this?" I whisper.

For a second he frowns, then his features get soft again and he passes his fingers through my hair. "Because your body temperature was way too high."

I shake my head. This is not what I wanted to know from him. I wanted to know why he is here and why he is doing all these things. Because if he is doing them just because he thinks it might get him something, he is wrong. Him doing this won't simply erase the fact that he was with another woman. And this situation doesn't bring me anything good either. It is only hurting me more to be close to him again. After three days of missing him, being with him again is the worst that could have happened. "I was try-" and I get coughing. Really? Can't I say a complete sentence without having to stop to cough?

"Shhh. It would be better for your throat if you'd try not to talk, Rose." he says and pulls me back to him and I place my cheek on his shoulder, my nose brushing on the skin of his neck, and soon I start to tremble. And he soothes me, walking his palm across my spine and with each touch of his on my hurting flesh, I moan lightly. "We'll get out of here soon. Just a little longer until you cool down, okay?" but oh, if he would only know that I am not shaking from the cold but because I am crying so bad. It's good that there is way too much water around for him not to feel my tears.

And we sit in there until I begin to shake, but from the cold now. My temperature has gotten lower and I don't feel like someone is making a fire inside my body. Dimitri was shaking for way longer than me, but he didn't move, not until I told him that I am feeling cold, not until he was sure that I wasn't running such a bad fever anymore. After that, he got us out and carried me into the bedroom. I am feeling really weak and I can't get my body moving no matter how much I want it, so he changes my clothes with thicker, dry ones, then lays me in bed and puts the covers on me. I am still shaking uncontrollably and I make myself little, rounding the covers on me, trying to find some heat now. Gosh, it sucks so much to have a fever. The states you are into change in a matter of minutes!

Then, Dimitri gets in bed next to me, turns me around and glues me to him, giving me some of his body heat too. How he managed to get out of that shower shaking too and be warm now is way too much for me to wrap my mind around it. And I know I should pull away, I _want_ to pull away from him, but I am just so cold now and he is so, so warm right now. I round my body on his, making myself little next to him and bury my nose into the crook of his neck, letting his familiar scent calm the longing in my chest.

As he is caressing my hair, I turn my head in his direction and get my hand out from under the covers. I trace the too familiar line of his jaw and at my touch, he sighs lightly and turns his head towards me, looking at me with his studying gaze. I go further and pass my hand through his wet hair, arranging his strands.

Then, I look him into the eyes. "You know what hurts most, Dimitri?" we look at each other for one long second and then I sigh, trying to not let my tears fall for the hundredth time these past days. "Me, not being enough for you. What did I do wrong?" you know? Maybe this whole thing is after all my fault. Maybe I was the one who pushed him to go to another woman in the search of something I couldn't offer to him, something that would have made him only want me. Maybe I should have been different and like that, he would have loved me enough not to do such a thing. Just maybe... If there would be a reason, maybe this thing would be more bearable.

He sighs and wants to caress my cheek, but I pull away. "Roza…How can I make you unders-"

"No. _God_ , Dimitri. Just give up on it. There's no point." And I turn away, moving to the edge of the bed, not wanting to feel touch on me anymore. I close my eyes, trying to completely ignore the fact that he is still in bed with me, next to my back and I let my tears silently fall down my cheeks. And I feel his gentle touch as he is tucking me in, putting the covers on my body in a better manner and then I feel him getting closer to my ear, his breath brushing over my cheek and I know that he wants to say something to me, but I am not prepared at all to hear it. I strain my whole body and keep my eyes closed tight. " _Please_ , Dimitri. Just go." I say with small sobs. But he doesn't go right away. He lingers for one more second, then whispers to me:

"I want you to know that no matter what, I loved you Roza, and I still do." and his lips place a soft kiss on my temple. "And that won't ever change." and then he gets off the bed.

* * *

I don't know for how long I slept this time, but when I wake up I feel better and the fever has finally subsided. But some time passed because the room is now really dark. And the spot next to me is still empty. The only light comes from the lamp in the room, which is next to the armchair. On it is Dimitri, reading. So he _hasn't_ left. His attention is focused on his book and his features look so beautiful in this dim light. I can only see half of his face and some strands got out of the clasp at the nape of his neck, hanging over his cheek. I watch him as he turns some pages, forming in my head one of the last images of him.

Some while later, I rise and his face turns my way. We watch each other for a couple of seconds, then I decide to speak. "Why wasn't I enough for you?" I ask him once again. I need to know why. I want a reason. I want an explanation of why he did this. I don't want more lies.

At my question, his face flinches. He puts the book away, comes my way and crouches next to me beside the bed. "Please, don't say that. Roza, I love you so much. You are more than I ever wished for." His hand caresses my cheek and I move my face out of the way.

"How dare you even _mention_ love? After what you did with that _woman_? I saw you, Dimitri. You were both in _our_ bed."

"Rose, don't be like this. You-"

"Fine. Then explain to me. Tell me everything you want. I will listen." I am finally ready to see what he has to say about all that.

And he begins to lie again. But I listen to all of it, without interrupting him. When he finishes, he is looking at me, waiting for a response. What _should_ I say? There is nothing much to say! So I just look for further explanations.

"Fine. Let's say I actually believe what you just told me. But tell me this. You said that she must have done something to you to make you get in that situation." and by that situation, I totally mean naked and in bed with her. "But you have nothing on that. You said the doctor couldn't find anything. Not a single so supposed drug. What should I believe it happened then? Maybe you just got drunk again like it happened with me that night and you picked up the first girl you found, right? You do that often? I didn't know you had a drinking problem." his face fills with sorrow. "Or what about this?" I ask showing him the note he has just given me. "What should I do with this? Anyone could have written it. This doesn't prove shit, Dimitri." and I pass my hands through my hair, trying so hard to believe what he has just told me, but this story has so many cracks in it that it is almost impossible for me not to doubt everything. "Or this. That day when you received that text, I believed you when you said that you didn't _know_ any Nina. But it seems that you do in fact. I just found her in _our_ bed! And you lied to me about it! To my fucking face. And hell, half a town has seen the two of you leaving the bar together, Dimitri. That photo's everywhere. Then how can you say that nothing happened?"

"I told you I have nothing to do with it."

"Yeah, yeah, of course. It was Tasha, right? I don't say that I don't see her capable of doing this, but how can I _know_ for sure that you just didn't take advantage of all the things that she did before and decided to take the opportunity and fuck two women or more? It seems fair. Hell, it was so easy, no? It was easy to lie to me when you knew you could blame Tasha for it, no?" he tries to say something again but I stop him. "No, no. I listened to you. Now it is my turn to speak. There is one more thing. _Nina_ said that you saw each other last week. The only time it could have happened it's the day you had to solve that problem. I am sure you know what I am talking about. But when I asked you, you didn't say to me what was the problem, because she is what you had to take care of, right? What? She needed a quick fix?"

" _No_. That's not true."

"Then tell me where you have been." His face seems resigned for a second, just like he would be thinking about what lie he could tell me about that thing. I puff. "Of course you can't tell me why. Because I am right."

He considers things and exhales. "No, that is not right. I will tell you everything you want to know. It was something about Viktoria I had to take care of. She called-"

"I can't believe this! You are so fucking shameless! You are bringing your _family_ into this? You won't impress me with this. I can't listen to you anymore. I am done now." I rise up from the bed and get my things from around the room but he stops me. "Come on, Dimitri. That desperate are you that you came up with this shit?"

"Call her. She'll tell you."

Ugh! Okay. I need to think about these things well. Maybe I don't know him that well as I have recently found out, but when it comes to his family he is devoted to them and maybe, just maybe, he is not lying to me with this. So I give him some credit for this fact only. "Fine. I will choose to believe you with this. But what about the other nights you were away? How can I know that you weren't with her?"

He smiles lightly and nods. "You can't, Rose. But you could believe me."

I laugh at this. "You know that that is a pretty damn hard thing for me to do, no? Wouldn't it be for you too if you would hear all this story?"

He passes a hand through his hair and then nods. "I know it is hard to believe. But you will see. I will find that girl and I will get to the bottom of this."

"Wow, you are again acting like you don't know her." I laugh bitterly and look away. "Why don't you bring your mistress to tell me the "truth" too? It would be easier than pretending you have no idea who she is. Maybe she will lie for you if you convince her. You are really good at convincing. And hell, maybe she could convince me too. Both of you might make me change my mind."

"I can't _find_ her." he says gritting his teeth.

I roll my eyes. "So convenient, right?" and without any explanations to ask for, I decide that I have found out everything that was to find out. Which is not much in fact. There is nothing that could make me think otherwise, no matter how much I wish it to be true. I can't know for sure. And this thing is killing me. I can't be with him not knowing for sure. I can't live with the uncertainty. It would kill me living with the fear that it will happen again. "I'll just leave now. I can't be around you anymore." because it hurts so bad I omit to add.

And I grab my things and head to the door. He comes after me and stops me. He pulls me back to him and I raise my arms to keep some distance between us. "Don't leave, Roza."

"Before…You said you loved me." Who knows if he ever meant those words?

"I do. I love you more than everything, Roza." his words make my heart ache even more. Why won't he stop saying this!? What does he think that it is going to bring him if he repeats these words without meaning them? Why won't give up on me already?

"I really don't know what you want from me now. I already told you that I can't believe you. But Dimitri, if you really love me as you say, if there was even a tiny part of you that ever loved me once...then let me go now. I can't keep on doing this. Between us," I stop to take a breath, trying not to burst into tears and watch him in the eyes. "everything is over." and these words are the hardest thing I have ever said in my life and as they leave my lips, I can feel my heart breaking a little more. "So now, let go of me, please." I ask him as I look at his palm wrapped around my wrist.

"Rose," he says not letting go of my hand. "Look at me please." and I hardly lift my gaze and look him in the eye again. "This is not me giving up on you. You will see one day that I wasn't l lying to you. I will show you the truth somehow. Even if that is the last thing I do." He says lastly and lets go of me. I get out the door and never look back. And he doesn't follow me.


	52. Chapter 52

**Hey guys!**

 **JuiceWillis, that was just a little slip :) I tend to translate things word by word from my language sometimes, usually when I am tired. But I took care of it**

 **I want to tell you guys that there is no offence taken. I have made peace with the fact that I can't please everyone with my story, no matter how hard I try. Some of you like some things, some of you don't. But all I can say is that I am always open to constructive criticism. So, I get your opinions about the last chapter, and all I can say is that I hope this one manages to meet your expectations. Maybe I took Rose's stubbornness a little too far, I get it. But all I tried to emphasize is that it is hard to get thinking straight after such a so -betrayal. But then again, maybe I took it too far and became quite repetitive. But well... after things settle down, you have time to think about it all and remember things...**

 **And I am trying to make things as original as possible (and trust me, that is a hard thing to do with so many other fanfictions around) and I am aware that that doesn't happen sometimes and that the story might get predictable, but the damage is already done now. I have already written that chapter and I am not giving up on it. I won't change the course of my story. I just hope you'll like how the story evolves later on, if you decide to bear with me till the end of it :)**

 **And dear guest, you asked me where the Saturday update is. As I previously said, I won't be updating three times a week, I will be only doing it on Mondays and Thursdays :)**

* * *

I have promised to Lissa that I would stay in town at least until her wedding comes because my first thought was to leave this place right away. I already couldn't stand to live here. It became suffocating. I feel like there is nothing more that could make me stay here for longer. That there is nothing left for me here. But I did it for her anyway. And that meant two weeks spent here after Dimitri and I broke up. The hardest weeks from my life so far because I miss him like crazy. I really tried to get over it, but I simply can't and everything in this town reminds me of him.

I moved into a studio apartment first. And I changed my number. I gave up on talking to people for a while, until Lissa decided it was enough and pushed her way into my apartment with a bottle of wine and a carton of ice cream. I didn't go to work either for a little while. I totally bailed on going back to that office. What would have been the point? Plus, I had some checks I didn't cash and it was nice to sit for a while and not do anything at all. I didn't feel like moving much anyway. But that meant that I was alone with my thoughts all day long. Which was not pleasant at all. I got a lot of time to think about a lot of things and possibilities and by the end of the first week, I was getting to overthink everything. Trust me. My mind is full of contradictions right now. I have no idea what to think anymore. Nothing makes sense anymore. I am torn between what I have seen and what I feel deep inside. And I have no idea what to choose. My brain and my heart are at war.

And after some time of doing nothing at all but sitting in bed and looking at the empty walls of my new room in complete silence, I felt the need to be useful, to do something just to take my mind off everything, to put my mind on pause while I was taking care of something else. So I got a temporary job at about a week after I left. I took the first thing I found; it didn't really matter to me. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Not then, not now. And I am now working as a barista at a nonstop coffee shop, trying to get as many shifts as I can, just to keep myself busy. It's a nice place to work in and the other people I work with are a nice distraction.

But what annoys me the most are the fuckers that come around and hit on me. I just want to go around unobserved, but the universe can't guarantee me even that little thing, even though I am in no condition to deal with men right now. There is this guy, Ethan that has come around every single day, and not only once a day, ever since I work there and made some moves on me. I guess he is dumb as fuck because I have told him explicitly on so many occasions that I am not interested in him and that he should just go fuck himself (of course, in a nice way because I am not allowed to speak like that with a customer) but he simply didn't listen. He just thinks that I am playing with him and that I am trying to seem unapproachable. Sometimes, he would come around with other pigs that he is calling his friends and would make inappropriate jokes around me. And I simply have to be nice to them, even though I just want to rip their heads off, because my boss is always watching. But I just can't wait for a day when no one would be watching. I am way too close to the verge and these guys are just asking for it. But it is their luck that I will be leaving soon.

Another guy that would come around the coffee shop every single day is Stan, a man around his mid-thirties I guess, or even a little more. But compared to the other bastards, he seems really nice and would usually ask me how my day is going and would bring up some random subjects to talk about while I am making his drink. And one time he even picked up on Ethan when things got a little too far one morning. Oh, you should have seen that little fucker's face. But all in all, I didn't get the vibes that this Stan guy would be hitting on me or that he would follow me at night, his intentions seeming pretty unharmful and friendly, but it still seems quite weird that he is taking interest in me and not in any other baristas around the place. And as weird as it would sound for me to say this, he somehow reminds me of Dimitri. They share this acute seriousness. Or maybe I am just imagining things in my terrible missing of him and try to see bits of him in everyone I interact with.

And my days are all the same and I am getting by as best as I can. I would often spend some time with Lissa and Christian as they are inviting me over to their place almost every evening, and it is hard for me to be around them because I would constantly have to pretend that I am getting and feeling better and I sometimes really am, even if it is just for a couple of minutes. I would smile and laugh and make stupid jokes again and go out with them and do all the things we once used to do, but I don't find the pleasure in that anymore, but still, I pretend I do because I don't want them to worry. And it is exhausting because the truth is that, on the inside, well, things aren't always that pink as I am depicting them. But I am dealing with it the best I can, hoping that soon things will get better. Hoping that after I will leave, things will get easier.

* * *

These two weeks passed somehow and now it is the last day of October. Finally. Lissa and Christian chose to do their wedding in this period because they have always wanted an outside wedding during autumn, and what is more beautiful than the view of the trees around being fully into autumn mood, right? It is a little later into the autumn if you ask me, but these two have the best luck. Today the weather is wonderful for spending your time outside. They have found the perfect location too. The ceremony is going to take place just outside of town, right next to some mini forest and it looks simply magical. It is all decorated with white and orange peonies and ribbons and there are fairy lights all over the place, for when it would turn dark. Anyway, the after party is going to take place inside some structure made entirely of glass, created especially for letting us see the wonderful view while being at cover from the eventual cold the night might bring.

I am now into the bride's room and I am taking a last look at myself before going to take my place as a maid of honor. My hair is nicely done into a low messy bun, some strands being let free to enframe my face. I'm wearing a long vaporous dress in the color of rust or burnt orange as Lissa would insist me to say, that has a heart shaped neckline which is nicely emphasizing my collarbones. On them lies a golden necklace with a round opal pendant that occupies the little notch between them. I spend some seconds staring at its reflection and get a little ache in my chest. I have the necklace from Dimitri and I just can't bring myself to take it off and trust me, I have sat in front of a mirror with my hands on its locker for so many times that I lost count of them. He gave it to me when we were at his family's country house, with no reason at all, telling me that when he saw it, he simply knew that I would love it and he was right. And I haven't taken it off ever since. And it may not be a healthy thing to do, but by still wearing it, he is somehow still with me, wherever I go, whatever I do.

"Hey, Liss. You know what I was thinking?"

"What?" she asks me as she is putting on her dress and I follow her moves into the reflection of the mirror.

"That I should get bangs."

And she stops midway her move for a second, her dress hanging on her hips, and then she turns around to face me. "Just don't." she says, seriousness filling her voice.

"Why not? I think it would look really nice."

She smiles lightly. "Trust me, Rose. You don't want to go through that phase."

"What phase? The bangs phase? I didn't know it existed."

She shakes her head and comes to my side. "No, honey. That phase doesn't exist. But the phase 'I broke up with someone and I feel the need for a drastic change' phase exists." she says taking one of my loose strands in between her fingers and making some curls on her finger with it. I didn't think about this thing. The idea just popped in my head one day. Then her eyes meet mine again. "You don't need any bangs, Rose. Or to change anything about you. You are fine just the way you are. You really are so beautiful." she says taking my hands into hers. "So promise me. No bangs, okay? Because if I let you do that, the next thing you'll want to get a huge tattoo on your ass and I am not ready to deal with that. Okay?" and we both chuckle. "You promise me?" and I nod, then she goes back to getting herself dressed.

And I must agree with her, at least today. I really look nice, compared to the past two weeks in which all I wore were loose jeans and baggy sweaters and my hair was a complete mess. Thank God that Lissa isn't one of those brides that would dress her friends in ugly ass dresses just to make herself glow. She doesn't need that. She is so beautiful. She looks just like an angel, wearing a simple long lace dress that emphasizes her belly. She decided not to change her dress because of that, she just adjusted a little and I couldn't agree more with her decision. This dress is just perfect for her. Her hair is down, gently curled into nice waves and she is wearing a bright orange flower crown that is perfectly contrasting with her jade green eyes. She is the most magnificent bride I have ever seen. And the most stressed one, as I can see. I turn around and smile at her, as she is pacing left and right around the room now that her dress has been dealt with and there is nothing else that she can do.

"Liss, relax. It's just your wedding, not the end of the world. Everything is going to be just fine."

"Yeah, like you would know how this feels." She says and her expression changes at millisecond after she let these words out. "I'm _so_ sorry Rose. I didn't want to say that." I know what she is talking about. We were somehow supposed to share this wedding, no? But what can you do? Things happen. I shake these thoughts out of my mind. I promised myself that I won't do this today. I won't think about him for one day. For a couple of hours. Today my best friend is getting married and I am extremely happy for her. I won't let my inner battle take over my happy thoughts today. I am going to deal with everything tomorrow. "Are you fine?" she asks, coming closer to me and taking my hands into hers again.

"Of course I am fine. There is nothing that could happen today to make me not be happy for you. And I am really happy today, Liss. And nothing will change that."

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other with unease. She always does that when he into the discussion, which I tell you, doesn't happen too often because it is like everybody decided not to mention him around me or something like that. Maybe they are afraid that I would ruin this wedding if they bring him up or something. "Not even-"

"No. Not even that." But I really don't know how I would react if Dimitri is going to come to this wedding. Lissa has already sent the invitations a long time ago and both of us were invited and we both confirmed. It would be okay if he would have come, his choice, I don't care. _Really? You don't care?_ Fine. I care more than I probably should. Hell, as crazy as it may sound, I somehow wish that he _would_ come. But would it be super mega extra weird too? Hell yeah, considering that Lissa and Christian still have the wish to set him on fire, plus that my parents are here too and, of course, they have seen everything into those damn magazines, them and like half a town, and it took me so much to convince my father not to go to see Dimitri, but hell, if he wants to come anyway, so be it. But the thing that sucks is that we are seated next to each other. And I can't bear the thought of being so close to him again. Not after constantly longing for him. Gosh. I miss him so much that I would be capable of taking him in my embrace if he comes around.

"Speaking about him, did he try anything else?"

"No. Not ever since the motel thing. He just... " I shrug. "...let me be." and again, as I remember that night, I get lost in thoughts.

Lissa squeezes on my hands. "Rose, don't do that thing again. It's not doing you any good, you get me?"

"Do what?" I ask, but I know what she is speaking about and I just play the fool because I know that me thinking about that thing annoys her.

"You _know_ what I am talking about. Ever since you last talked with him, you keep on doing it." she sighs. "Look, Rose. I know it is hard for you to make peace with that thought and that there will be times when you will want him back but yo-"

"But what if-"

" _No_. That is just some story of his to make you believe him, you get me? I want you to stop thinking about that. You are only prolonging your suffering like this. That thing is not true. He did what he did, okay? And one day you'll see that you did the right thing, even though now it seems that you are not. You still love him and in your head, he is still this amazing man you once met. But your image about him doesn't match with who he really is. And _this_ is the reality, Rose."

I bite the inside of my cheek. "I don't _know_ , Liss. He… the Dimitri I know wouldn't do su-"

Our conversation isn't able to continue because my mother barges in the room, looking for me because I really have to take my place now, as it's almost time for the ceremony to start. Before I leave, I hug Lissa and encourage her to relax because there is nothing that could possibly go wrong. I mean, we are talking about the control-freak Lissa here. She planned everything until the last detail, and I know that everything is going to go perfectly and there is nothing to worry about. But all she does in response is to give me a look that is telling me that our conversation is far from over. I nod and get out, catching up with my mother. She is really beautiful today, dressed in a nice green dress that perfectly complements her shoulder-length auburn curls. And as she turns her head my way, she is smiling. I am not used to seeing her do that very often, so I am enjoying this view. It makes her look younger. And I must say that it is really nice to see my parents too after so much time away.

We get outside and I hurriedly take my place. I take a look around and my eyes land on Christian. It still amazes me that he isn't all dressed in black. Believe it or not, today he is wearing white. It's only a shirt, but it's a start, people. And God, isn't he nervous too? I can say that he is worse than Lissa. It's funny to see him in this position. I mean, he would always be this confident sarcastic guy. But now, yeah, he is nothing like that. His eyes are scanning the crowd like crazy and he keeps on wiping the insides of his palms on his pants. But not long after, his face changes and all his worries disappear, an amazed expression appearing instead, as he sees his soon to be wife. God, the look in his eyes says everything. He loves her so, so much! And the music begins. I direct my attention towards the end of the aisle and there is Lissa, at my father's arm. As her father and brother are gone, she asked my father to take her to the altar, since he practically knows her for as long as she existed on this earth. And with all the time we would spend together, well, it is safe to say that my father has two daughters instead of one.

He is surely standing out from the crowd. My father is one of a kind, what can I say? That's why I love him so much. He is dressed as boldly as always, wearing his colorful signature silk scarf. Along with his exotic features that I surely enhanced, he has lately decided to grow a beard, making him seem more Turkish than ever. That, combined with the golden earring that he is wearing since for as long as I can remember, well, I can say that Lissa is being taken to the altar by a pirate, all he misses being an eye patch. And there's a big smile across this pirate's face and he seems so, so proud. I wonder how he would have glowed if he would have taken both of us on the same path today. But things don't always go as planned and well, one wedding is better than none at all, right?

The ceremony is really beautiful and their vows almost make me cry. Okay, I confess. Not _almost_. I really cried. Hell, I never used to get so emotional over things like these. But they are so in love that it is impossible not to think about a lot of things when you see them together. But God, sometimes they are so cheesy that they make me sick. It's like they are made from sugar, that's how they are acting with each other.

* * *

Then, the party begins. And I really allow myself to enjoy it. This happened a little after I found the fancy alcohol bottles on the table, of course. But I didn't pass my limit. After all, I didn't want to get into bed with someone again. I just drank enough to make myself not care about the other things anymore, enough to make the constant buzz in my head be silent for a little while.

It feels so nice to be around family and good old friends. It makes things better. I get the chance to catch up with my former classmates and people around town that I used to see every day and see what they have been up to lately. And I shit you not, each one of them has someone. It's like this wedding is a couples only event and I am obviously not fitting in. But this doesn't bother me that much. Because they are not bragging with it. What is truly annoying me are those women around their fifties or sixties that would walk around the place and pinch your cheeks and tell you that you have grown up so much even though they don't know who you are. I was okay with that, I didn't mind. But next, the big question would come: "And a nice girl like you doesn't have a special someone?" Well, this girl used to have a special someone that she misses like hell and if you keep on reminding her about him, she might get crying soon. And when I would say to them that I don't have anyone, their eyes would fill with pity. Exactly what I needed. So instead of walking around, I resumed to sitting at my table for a while.

* * *

I was speaking with my mother about some book that her students were supposed to read and we were engaged into a kind of heated argument involving our different opinions when the seat next to me got dragged by someone. I simply froze in place, my breath coming to a halt. My mother was still speaking just like nothing was happening behind me, but I wasn't listening to her anymore. So did he really come? Then I felt a hand on my bare shoulder. But its weight didn't seem familiar on my body. Even though, I still hoped it was him.

I took a deep breath, gulped it, sending the knot in my throat down into my stomach and turned around slowly, expecting to find those kind chocolate eyes looking back at me. But to my heart's sorrow, it wasn't Dimitri in front of me. But God, I so wanted for him to be here. Somewhere, at the bottom of my heart, I still hoped he would come here somehow. Instead, it was someone else I knew, with the same red hair that just wouldn't stay in place, little freckles across his cheeks and ocean blue eyes. Good old Mase. I haven't seen him for so long and I immediately jumped into his arms. We were best friends back in high school but didn't really keep in touch as much as we should have along the years. I convinced him to move his seat and come next to me so that we would catch up. Anyway, after all, Dimitri didn't come. But he made sure to send the newlyweds a present. And it was the most beautiful set of baby girl dresses I have ever seen. This was so nice of him. He _is_ so nice. How do I keep on forgetting that? But not long after, Lissa makes sure to remind me of some things as we get the chance to finish our interrupted conversation.

* * *

When the mood around loosened up and everybody started dancing, my dad came to me and took me to the dance floor, completely ignoring my protests. What can you do? He is a stubborn fella. No surprise I am how I am. But along the two songs we danced on, I really came to enjoy it. And we are now slowly wiggling from side to side on a slow stupid love song, father and daughter, embraced into a loving gesture. And along the way, I prop my forehead on his shoulder and sigh lightly, being able to feel at ease for once in a long time.

"How are you, kiz?" is the first thing he says to me ever since we started dancing.

"I am good, dad."

He pulls his shoulder away and obliges me to look at him. "Don't you lie to your old man."

"I am not lying." the thing is that in this very moment, I really am good.

He smiles lightly. "Come on, Rose. Nothing goes away in two weeks. Especially a thing like that."

"But it will go away." and he looks at me suspiciously. I lightly roll my eyes. "I'll survive it if that is what is worrying you, dad."

"Sometimes surviving it is the hardest thing of all, kiz."

I need to gulp hard at his words and I place my head back on his shoulder. "Oh, dad. Please don't make me cry in public." I say on the verge of tears.

"Oh, kiz. I didn't mean to do that." he says squeezing me tighter. "I just want you to know that we are here for you, okay?"

"Mhm. I know."

* * *

Later on, I was dancing and fooling around the dance floor with Mason, as we would always do at school dances, when someone announced us that the throwing of the bouquet was going to take place. I decided not to go, but the desperate to marry women around there wanted to have more competition. Aka other women to trample on in the process of throwing themselves after the bouquet. Where is the fun in that thing after all? So, they took me there against my will. I went to the back of the group and I crossed my arms, showing them that I really didn't want to be there. But they were all so excited and so ready to prey on the others in order to get that damn bouquet, that they didn't observe the disapproval in my eyes.

When Lissa finally threw the bouquet, after some teasing, the women began to scream and jump excitedly around me. I didn't move a single muscle. I was sitting strong in my position, protesting. But the bouquet was heading right towards me. And it was going to land exactly on my face. So I extended my hands to catch it. I wasn't going to make a fool of myself and let it hit me, not around so many people, duh. Everybody around cheered and clapped their hands. I instantly looked at Lissa, the only familiar face close to me. She gave me a little embarrassed smile and I pretended to be really happy for my success and began to wave the bouquet left and right, bragging about my success. Eh, I could at least pay back those women who dragged me there in the first place.

* * *

When the wedding was over and the two love birds have gone to their well-deserved honeymoon (well, that would be just two days spent away from this town, but still, for them, that is enough as long as they are together), I went up to my parents, catching up with them just before getting into a taxi and head to their hotel. I announced them that I was going to get back home with them the next day. It was a spontaneous decision; it just came to me some minutes before. As I said, there doesn't seem to be anything that could make me stay here. So no reason to stay is a good enough reason to go, right? And these streets are only bringing up memories, so why should I torture myself by remaining here? Going back home is as good as going anywhere else.

What surprised me most was that nobody argued with my decision and didn't ask me any further questions as I initially expected to. The only question I got was from my dad: "Are you sure about this, kiz?" and all I did was to nod, even though I wasn't that sure. Not even my mother became inquirious, which was something new for me. But I guess that she sensed that something was still wrong with me. But again, I bet everyone could see I was still a little off. What can I do? I can't help it. A big part from me is missing and I can't get used to that. And for the whole ceremony and the after party, from time to time she would come to me and ask me if I was alright and she kept on saying that, despite our turbulent past, I can always talk with her if something is bothering me. Well, this was something new, coming from her after so much time. Who knew that she still had those motherly instincts, huh? And plus, it was a total miracle when I didn't get the 'I told you so' speech from her that I so expected to come the first time she got the chance. But maybe she is not that merciless after all.

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

What bothers me most is that no matter what I do, I can't find Nina. Or what other name she has, because I think I have looked at every Nina's and almost every woman's photo in this damned town, but none of them resembles the one woman I woke up next to, not even a little. The next thing I can do is to search the whole world for her. If it is what it takes, I'll do this too. It's the last thing that remained for me to do. But it seems that for now, Nina disappeared into thin air. Tasha must have thought about it all and played her cards just right this time. There is not a single thing that she missed, something no matter how small that I could cling to. And no matter how much pressure I would put on her, she wouldn't let out a single word about this. I have done everything I could think of to make her break, made her life unpleasant in so many ways, took so many things away from her, but she just took it all and she would always tell me that she is innocent. But the look in her eyes tells me otherwise. She appears to be so proud of what she did.

And on top of all, if things weren't going bad enough already, Rose is leaving town tonight. From what my men have found out, she is going along with her parents back to her hometown. I don't know if I will see her ever again. So I have to see her one last time. I need to talk to her one last time. I want to make her understand this entire thing that happened. Maybe after these two weeks, she would have it in her heart to make some sense of this all. Maybe she will take my explanation now because the last time I told her everything she didn't want to believe me. She just took as a lie everything I told her and didn't want to try to believe anything that I told her. She thought that I was trying to impress her with my story about Viktoria, but that was the truth. I know I promised my sister not to tell anyone what happened, but I couldn't lie to Rose. She called me that night crying and asking me to help her. For some time she has been seeing someone and for some reason, she was in town when she called me. And she got in trouble with that guy. I didn't really understand what it was all about because she was kind of reticent with the subject, but seeing her in that state was enough for me. She is my sister and I would do anything for her. Especially hunting that guy down and breaking that bastard's face. She asked me not to tell anyone, but Rose is an exception. She always has been. But Rose needs to understand that I would never have done such a thing to her. Not then, not ever. I would never do anything to hurt her. But I don't blame her. I was caught in "the act". I have no idea how I could allow myself to end up in that situation in the first place, I hate myself for letting my guard down, but she saw what she saw. She has a good reason to doubt my words. Any person being in her place, they wouldn't have reacted differently. It is what it is. For now, I can't do anything about it.

* * *

It's about seven when I reach the place she has been renting for the last two weeks. And I hear her before I get to see her. It's her sweet laughter. It fills the cold air outside. And she sounds really happy. Being here now doesn't seem such a good idea all of a sudden. Seeing me would only sadden her, just like the time when I passed in front of the coffee shop she was working in. She was smiling to one customer when her eyes landed on me and in an instant, her whole face crumbled. And I can't bear to see that look on her face again. I can't take this happiness away from her. I still remember how hard she was crying that morning when everything fell apart, and I just can't keep on reminding her about it by showing up.

Instead of going to her I resume watching her go. It's better for her this way. I stop about a block away and put myself out of sight between some half-empty trees. I might look like a stalker to someone passing by, but I don't care. I really tried to keep my distance, but now I just have to see her. One last time, until I will have something to show her.

The sun has already begun to set and I watch three persons as they are carrying some boxes to a car. The two others get back inside but she remains outside, leaning over the car, her phone in hand. She is wearing a large jeans overall and a sweater. Her hair is a beautiful mess as always, falling in waves on her small shoulders. I can't really catch her whole expression, but from what I can see in this dim light, there is still a smile on her face. God, I missed seeing her. I do every single day.

All of a sudden her head rises and turns exactly my way, like she could feel I was looking at her and I freeze in place. Did she see me? She keeps on looking in my direction then takes some steps forward, heading my way.

"Rose?" a woman asks and she stops and turns on her heels and this is my cue to leave. "Where are you going? You were supposed to come and get your backpack."

"What? Oh, nowhere. I thought I saw something." she says and takes another glance towards the place I was a minute ago. "Sorry, mum. It's just that Lissa sent me a text telling me that the baby is kicking again and I got caught up with that." she turns around and goes back.

 **DPOV ends**

This whole Dimitri thing going on in my mind has to stop and this needs to happen fast. Like now if possible. Because I think that I am beginning to go crazy. Besides the fact that I would constantly find something around to bring me back some silly little memory of him, I have lately begun to see him around too. Yeah, crazy, I know. I think that I have to make a booking for the nuthouse soon. Just before I again thought I saw him somewhere along the tree line in the neighborhood, just like I thought I saw him last week passing by the window of the coffee shop. It looked like some ghost hiding among the dawn's shadows. But maybe it was just my imagination playing stupid games with my mind. It's weird that I have known him for so little time and still, he was present in so many aspects of my life. In such a short time he has become so much for me.

We are about to head home and I am somehow excited. Somehow, I am not. I have always wanted to get away from that place, but the thought of getting back doesn't seem as bad as it always had anymore. I guess that being away from my parents for so long made me realize that I actually care for them so, so much. And they don't seem so bad anymore. Maybe being with them is what I really need right now. Maybe I need to reconnect with who I was before. And maybe I changed, maybe they did, who knows, but things are surely different now. As they helped me pack my things all day long, we talked and laughed and it seems that everything got back to how it was some years ago. And it isn't just some crappy pretending just to make me feel less miserable. A miracle happened all of a sudden and somehow, we are again a jolly gang, just like we used to be when I was little. The things aren't that tensed up between us anymore and I simply love it. I knew that my father began to frequent more home lately and maybe, without me, the troubled young around to bring up reasons for disputes, they had the time to do things together, to talk, I don't know. Hell, I never thought that being away from each other would actually make us that much good. Knowing that, I think I would have left sooner.

* * *

And here I am, into the backseat of my parents' car, heading farther and farther away from the town. We have been driving for the past fifteen minutes, and as the car gets farther, the lump at the bottom of my stomach doesn't go away. Nothing washes away, nothing feels better, nothing feels like I hoped it would, my heart doesn't get lighter. On the contrary. Everything feels way worse.

 _You are doing the wrong thing by walking away!_ No, I am not. Lissa is right. Maybe it doesn't feel right for the moment, but one day when I will look back, I will know I did the right choice.

I take my phone out and access the site of the magazines around here. I am looking for a specific cover. And I find it. My reason to leave. The photo of Dimitri and Nina, together. But then, I mindlessly scroll through the covers of the magazine, trying to distract myself, and I get back in time, day by day, looking at people I don't know for a couple of minutes. Until I see two familiar faces. Until I stumble over the photo of Dimitri and I at that charitable dinner.

And this single photo brings back thousands of memories.

 _"Wasn't your birthday on Saturday? I got you something."_

 _"What friends? Those fake kiss-asses? They are not even my acquaintances. They just know Tasha. I'm good here with you, thanks."_

 _"You don't need the makeup. You are beautiful without any aid, Roza." - "You are so beautiful right now that it hurts me."_

 _"I'm sorry for kissing you without permission, Rose. It was wrong for me to do so." he passes his hand through his hair and his hair tie falls on the floor, setting free his sable strands. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I really wanted to know how that feels."_

 _His hand finds mine and entangles our fingers, and then he softly kisses my forehead. "I'll go slowly. Tell me if you want me to stop. I don't want to hurt you."_

 _At some point, he turns to his side, takes me into his embrace, turning me to face his chest. He entangles our legs, dissolving the distance between us and then kisses my temple. The connection between us feels amazing. I can't tell where I finish and where he begins. There is just one of us now. He tells me a word in his native language and kisses me again. I don't know what he said, but it sounded simply perfect. In that position, I happily fall asleep encircled by his warmth._

 _"Rose." He puts one hand over mine._ _I stop and look at him._ _"You don't have to leave.";_ _"I'm sorry, Dimitri, but what?";_ _"You just simply stated a truth. An ugly truth, but still. You are right." he said passing a hand through his hair, looking somehow guilty. "And Tasha won't bother you anymore. She won't be coming around here any time soon."_

 _"You are the most beautiful woman in here. They can't abstain themselves not to look at you. Simple as that."_

 _In a slow movement, he gets his palm on the middle of my bare back and drags me closer to him, gluing my whole body to his. My breath comes to a halt as we make contact. It feels amazing. I get my hand up on his arm, getting my palm close to the nape of his neck and without any conscious thought, I go even further and place my cheek on his chest, not being able to let this occasion pass either. I might have taken it too far because his breath comes to a halt too for a second, being probably surprised by my gesture, considering that all I do on a usual is to try to get away from him, but he doesn't do or say anything for that second. Then, he just relaxes and lets that breath go out through his mouth._

 _''Good morning, Rose. I ordered you breakfast. I didn't know what you would like so I choose different things. I hope you'll enjoy some of them. I will get back around two. Have a good day."_

 _"You are right. I can't see you around Adrian because I am jealous."_

 _"God, Roza. Can't you see that I only love you? No one else. Just you."_

 _"Oh, Roza. I would like for everyone to know that you are mine."_

 _"Look. I know I have a history. I am not proud of that now and I am sorry. I have done things I wish I could take back, but I can't. But believe me when I say that you are my one and only, Roza. I love you. Do you understand? You, and only you."_

 _"You need to know that I wouldn't have regretted that, Roza. Never. Not even for a second. I would have taken care of you and our baby. Can you imagine a little you running around our home? It would have made me very happy, Rose."_

 _"Rose," he says squeezing my hands "there is no other woman. Not now, not ever. I don't need anyone except you. You are more than I could ever wish for."_

 _"Roza, have I ever lied to you?" I shake my head no. "Then trust me when I say that there is no one else. No Nina, no one. Just you. It will always be you and no one else. Ever."_

 _"What about your no ring policy, comrade?" I ask jokingly._ _His expression changes slightly, becoming a little more serious, and he extends his hand to put some strands of my hair behind my ear. "Not with you, milaya. Never with you." and he caresses my cheek gently with his fingers. "There is no policy when it comes to you."_

 _"You can't know that, Rose. But you could believe me."_

Yes. I could believe him. I _do_ believe him. Because: _"_ The Dimitri I know wouldn't do such a thing." I mumble more for myself.

"Did you say something, honey?" my mother asks and when I don't respond to her, she doesn't insist.

I thought that there is nothing more that could hold me here. But I was so wrong. There is. _Dimitri_ is the one. _He_ is the reason. He still is. He will always be. And if I run away from it now, I will end up running away from it forever. I must deal with it. I feel like I am about to do the biggest mistake of my life by not trusting him, by leaving, by not giving him the reason of doubt, by simply ignoring everything else that he has ever said or done and resume to only seeing him as the worst person ever walking this earth. And this has to mean something. People often tell that you should trust your gut feeling. And my gut feeling is telling me that I am so fucking stupid to go away without seeing him one more time and that I need to do something to make things right. I need to face it. I need to grow a pair and not run away from it. It's now or never.

I sit in silence for the next five minutes, trying to think about what I should do, but all I can think of is him and all the moments we have spent together.

I take one more look at the picture on my phone. As I was looking around the ballroom, Dimitri had his head slightly turned towards me and his eyes were pinned on me, only on me, looking at me just like he did when we were upstairs, with that glint in his eyes. And on his lips, there is a slight smile that still makes my knees go weak. Gosh, there is so much love into that glance of his and I was just too blind to see it. _Again_. Again, I have proven how blind I am to everything that is going on. But as I look at it some more, the wall of hate that I so carefully built these past weeks breaks in a second and turns to dust. How could I do such a thing? How could I be so unfair to him? How could I not believe him? How could I not see past everything? How could I forget his loving look, his loving words, and his unspoken promises? How could I forget everything he ever did for me? How could I look past every good thing that happened between us? How could I forget that even when he didn't owe me anything he still didn't do anything with other women? Gosh, I fucked things so bad! I need to make them right. It may be already too late. And I decide it's now, not never.

"Yes, I did say something, mum. Stop the car."

"What happened? Are you sick again? Do you feel like puking or something?" my mother gets worried.

 _"_ No, I am not sick. _Just stop the fucking car_!" I say breathing heavily and in a minute they pull over on the side of a field.

My father turns into his chair and faces me too. "Hey, Rose. What is the matter?"

"I can't go." I say laughing lightly.

"What?" they both ask looking at me like I would be crazy as hell.

"I _can't_ go away. I _don't want_ to go away."

And my parents react way different. My father's expression fills with understanding, while my mother's fills with confusion. "Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes." I am surer than ever.

He nods lightly. "Fine. If that is what you wish, let's take you back."

"But-" my mother wants to protest, but my father cuts her short by placing a hand over hers.

"We're taking Rose back." and with this, the subject is closed. He revs the engine and makes his way back into town. Thanks dad. You're the best.

* * *

Much fuss and about an hour later, I am back into the studio apartment I have just left, with all of my things piled up against the walls around the entering and I convinced my parents that they can go on their way. I had to practically push them out the door, in fact. They worried enough for me already and they need to get back home anyway.

I plop on the sofa I so many times fell asleep on because I was way too tired to get myself into the bed that is just two meters away, and I look at nothing in particular. What should I do now? _What if…_ This question is haunting me. There are so many possibilities. I lay down on one side and get a hold of the first thing I find and take it into my embrace, trying to get myself warmer. It is Dimitri's sweater. I bury my nose into the soft material and even after so long, it still keeps his familiar scent on it. And sooner than expected, my attention focuses on the only thing that made me come back. _Dimitri._ And I decide that I can't sit on my ass anymore. I have to do something. I just can't leave things like this. And I finally know what I have to do.

In less than a minute I get out of the building and hop into the first cab I find. But the fucker doesn't want to take me because, as he put it, the ride is too short. I could make all the way there on foot and arrive in fifteen minutes. In fact, it doesn't take you that little, I know better, but I don't have the time to argue with him. I don't have so much time to walk there either. I promise to give him double the amount and he finally accepts to take me to my destination.

"So, where are we heading again?"

"Belikov Enterprises please." Why did I say that? I have no idea. Call it another gut feeling.

As the man drives, he begins to babble about some things that happened today in traffic and supposedly jammed like half a town. And I am not able to put my thoughts in order as he is still speaking.

"Oh my God just shut the fuck up and drive. This is why I am paying you!" and I am very surprised to see that he actually shuts up instead of throwing me out the moving car. We finally arrive and before I get out, I pay him triple the amount of money. I was a bitch without reason and I feel really sorry. But I can't help it. I am anxious as fuck.

* * *

So here I am. The building seems deserted and it is almost all dark. It's already past nine. Is he still in here? Should I have gotten to his apartment instead? Maybe that would have been a better idea. I look up and I don't see many offices lit up. There are not many people staying late today. Maybe a total of eight lit windows. And his office is not. Fuck it, I am going to try anyway. Maybe if I don't find him in here, this would be the universe's way of telling me that I shouldn't be looking for him in fact. That I have gotten here way too late. That I have done the wrong thing again.

I enter the building and the night guard looks at me suspiciously. He's new. I greet him and he nods, then simply lets me walk on my way, without much questioning about my late visit. Weird, but I don't have time to lose with pointless conversations anyway. I make my way towards the front desk and there is no one there, obviously. But it's nice to see that Sydney is still working here. I wonder how things between her and Adrian are working. The last thing I know is that he asked her to move to Russia with him and she was very excited about that. But well, not so many things can change in two weeks.

I get to the elevator and I have to wait for it to descend from the 36th story. I am nervous and I keep on pushing that damn button in the hopes that this fucking thing would descend faster. I would take the stairs but fifty stories are a real challenge right now. 3...2...1... _Ding_! Finally! It took an eternity for it to arrive. The doors open slowly and I see a someone in a suit and with long hair inside. My heart skips a beat at his sight. I am not ready for this. He was supposed to be upstairs. But this man's head rises from his phone and he looks at me. It's not him. This guy doesn't even compare to him.

I change places with him and press the button for the 50th floor. As the elevator ascends painfully slow I take a look in the mirror in there. No wonder the night guard was looking at me like that. I look like a semi-homeless person. I am wearing this loose jeans overall and a black sweater that is two numbers bigger than my usuals. My hair is all over the place and I uselessly pass my hand through it several times, trying to make it sit in one place. Lastly, I wipe away my smeared mascara with the insides of my palm. I take one last look in the mirror as the elevator gets to the 47th floor. I had better days, that's sure. But well, there is no going back now. It won't matter how I look, but what I have to say.

The elevator stops and I get out. God, this is so hard. My palms are all sweaty and I need to keep on wiping them on my thighs. I slowly place one foot in front of the other and make my way into my former office. Nothing seems to have changed around here. All of my things are exactly where I left them. Even the calendar is still on the day I last was here. I never really came to take my belongings. There was nothing I needed from here. I take another look around and spot the frame on my desk. It contains a photo with all of us at Paul's anniversary, big smiles on our faces. I look at each of the persons in the picture and remember all the nice moments we spent together. I love Dimitri's family so much. They are such nice people. Even his grumpy psychic grandmother that gave me the chills.

" _You need to trust him, Rose. No matter what_." Yeva's words suddenly ring through my head and I can even feel her tight grip on my wrists, that vivid is my recalling. " _Nina_." and these are the last words she said to me before we left. Gosh, how could I forget about this thing? Even she knew! I was the only one who couldn't see it. And now, more than ever, I need to see Dimitri and make things right.

I put the picture back down and get closer to the door that might separate us tonight. I knock first. But nothing happens. So here is my sign from the universe. Maybe I shouldn't have come here after all. Maybe it's too late for me to make things right. Dimitri must be so mad at me for not believing him. I take a step back and then I hear it. His wonderful voice saying ''Get in''. I take a deep breath, wipe the insides of my palms on the rough material of my jeans once more and open the door slowly, without making a sound. I cover the distance between us with uneasy steps and all of a sudden, as I reach his desk I come to a halt as if there is an invisible wall stopping me from getting any further. What am I even _doing_ here? What does he owe to me now? What can I ask from him after what I said to him? How could he forgive me for that?

He sighs profoundly. "What happened now?" he asks, tiredness filling his words. My stomach knots as I hear him speaking so close to me. I get dragged back to the first day I saw him, when he was speaking with me in that cold imposing tone. This is the voice he uses now too. And even though there are no more than two meters between us, it feels like we are thousands of kilometers apart and I am not able to reach him. How could I? I am the one who created all this distance between us and no matter how much he tried to get closer to me, I kept on pushing him away.

I don't answer to him because what can I say to him? There are so many thoughts inside my head but none of them finds their way out my mouth. Plus, I am way too preoccupied with admiring him in this wonderful dim light, the shadows of this darkened room perfectly falling on his tall figure. I missed seeing him so, so much. He is wearing a pair of dark pants and a white shirt that is now wrinkly after a day of work. I can't completely see his face, just the left part of it, but I'll take what I get. His face still has that sharpness at his jaw and it seems to me that he is moving his lower jaw left and right as he would always do when he is irritated. He didn't get rid of that habit. Not that that would be possible in two weeks. But stupid or not, I often wondered if he changed somehow. Maybe there is something different about him now. I felt the need to cut my hair. Who knows? Maybe he did too. But who am I kidding? He didn't cut his hair. His beautiful, silky chocolate hair is still there, tied into a perfect ponytail at the nape of his neck. He passes his long fingers through it and some shorter strands escape from the clasp. And from where I am standing, with the short strands messily arranged around his profile, he looks more handsome than ever.

He is leaning over the right wall of the room, next to the gigantic window, one hand in his pocket now, in his other hand holding a half-empty glass of some brownish liquid and he is stirring it with short circular movements, then takes the last sip.

"Aren't you-" he turns my way and his eyes widen. "Roza?" he asks tilting his head slightly, frowning lightly, his voice changing from cold to that sweet sound he always used when he was calling me like that. God, no one called me like that for so long.

 **DPOV begins**

It's her. She is here. No, this can't be.

I often dreamt about her coming back. Every day, I used to imagine that one of the hundreds of little spots entering this building I see from up here would be her and that, somehow, she would be coming back to me.

But seeing her here now, it seems unreal. She is dressed in the same clothes I saw her earlier this day and this only must be just a figment of my imagination. I usually have the impression I see or hear her around here. Yes, it must be my imagination. She is on her way to parents' home in reality. She is now far away in fact.

I blink a couple of times, trying to get a clearer image of what is in fact in front of me, maybe I am just really tired, but still, even after that, here she is, standing in front of me now.

Is this even real?

Please be real.

But if this is for real, the question is why she is here? What drove here to come here now?

 **DPOV ends**

Slowly, he comes closer to the bureau and places the glass on it. Then he takes one more step forward and gets in front of me. There is not much space keeping us apart and I want for it to dissolve as fast as possible.

"Dimitri" I whisper, not finding any words to say. What can I say? What do I want to say right away? There are so many things I want to tell him.

"You're really here." he says softly and brings his arm up. Then, his fingers gently brush my cheek, moving so slowly towards my lips, like I'd be made from thin glass and he is afraid I'd break. And the thing is that I do break under his touch. I break out in tears.

I get my arms around his torso and pull him closer to me and bury my face in his shirt, holding on to him for dear life. " _I am so sorry, Dimitri_." I try to say between sobs. He doesn't hesitate, not even for a second and his hands begin to caress my back. And for a second, everything gets right in my world again.

* * *

 **Until Thursday, lots of love!**


	53. Chapter 53

I don't know for how long we sit in that position, but I have finally stopped crying and my mouth ceased to tell him that I am sorry. He didn't say anything to stop me after some failed attempts, he just listened to me and soothed my hair and my back with light movements, keeping me close to him. After those almost silent, long minutes in which I reaccustomed myself with the safe sensation of his arms around me and his fingers passing through my hair, I find the courage to tilt my head, detaching my cheek from his chest, wishing that I would have stayed there longer, and look for his eyes. And I find them there, looking back at me, those warm chocolate pools that I so much missed these days. When our eyes meet, he smiles lightly and brings his palms up to cup my cheeks and wipes away the remnants of my tears, in the process making some more distance between us and I already start missing the warmth of his embrace.

"How come you're here?" he asks, seeming still surprised.

"I um…" I make myself busy for a second by straightening a stack of papers on his desk. "I want to ask you two things. Is that okay?" he nods slowly, confusion filling his eyes. "I won't mind no matter your answers." especially on my second question.

And now he frowns, then scratches the back of his head. I must be really confusing to him right now. "Okay. Go ahead. Ask me."

Okay. Here we go. First thing. I already know the answer to this question but I came here with it in my mind and I decide to ask him anyway. I want to look him in the eyes once more as he is assuring me of that. "Would you do such a thing to me? Would you go to another woman?"

He sighs. "Rose… I already told you so many times that I didn't do anything with that Nina."

"I know that." and his eyes widen a little in surprise at my answer. "I was talking about it in general. Maybe… I don't know... " I shrug and scratch the inner side of my arm. "Maybe there are some things that I miss-"

His response comes right away, stopping me from finishing my sentence. "No, Rose. Never." Then he smiles and takes my hand into his, walking his thumb across my palm. "Why would I want to do that when all I need was right here next to me? When you were next to me?" I nod and just by hearing this thing, my trust in him grows. Now it feels weird for me to even think that I couldn't see this truth in his eyes a long time ago. That I believed he could go behind my back. "What else do you want to ask me?" he distracts me from studying him.

Yes, right. The second question. This one makes a little knot form at the back of my throat. Because one of the answers would be so hard to swallow. But I still have to ask. "Do you... still love me?"

He lets go of my hand and in a second I get to the verge of crying. Shit! What if he is going to say no? His face gets a little darker. He looks like he would say no. And his tone a little harsher. "What kind of question is this, Roza?" Fuck. My question upset him.

I shrug. I just want to hear the answer from him. "I want to know if after what happened… after what I did… if you…" and I stop when I see him shaking his head, smiling lightly.

"Oh, Rose. You're so silly at times. How could you think that…" he sighs. He brings his hand up to caress my cheek. "Of course I still love you. I told you that this thing won't ever change. And I do love you more and more every single day." Good, I think. That's all I ever needed to know. And maybe like this, things aren't lost forever. He still cares for me. Maybe I still have a chance to make things right. "But why are you asking me all these things?"

"Because…" I smile. "Because I have realized that I trust you, Dimitri. And-"

"You _do_?" he asks and I can even hear the disbelief in his voice. Hell, I wouldn't believe myself either in this moment, considering my previous strenuousness in not believing him.

I nod right away. "No more doubting you. I believe you with what you said. All of it."

His expression fills with surprise, then he looks at me suspiciously. "How come?"

"Well…" I take in a deep breath and let it all out. "These past two weeks, I thought about what happened all the time. And I realized that I was too fast to judge you, Dimitri. That morning, I came home to see my worst fear coming true. And I was horrified by that image. Back then, it hurt me into the deepest corners of my heart seeing you in that position. I won't lie with that. Seeing you in bed with that woman… it was horrible." his expression fills with anguish and I hurry to reassure him. "But it's okay now. Really. I know it wasn't anything more than a charade. A staged thing that I was supposed to see and believe. And I believed it." I say laughing bitterly at my stupidity. "But until I could see that, that image haunted me all these past days. I thought about what happened every single day. All I could think about was that morning and everything that followed. I was simply obsessed with it. I just… couldn't get that image out of my head. And that day when you came to see me, everything you would tell me, that moment was still all I could think of, everything I was seeing before my eyes. That image became my only truth. I didn't want to listen to anything else. But maybe that wasn't the truth... that realization has struck me later. _So late_. Because as the days passed, I let the things you told me to creep in and little by little, they brought some light to my mind. It all made sense. I just wasn't able to see it right away." I look for his hand and take it into mine. "And I am ready to believe that you didn't do such a thing. No. I said it wrong. I _do_ believe you didn't do it. Because deep inside, I can feel that I would make the biggest mistake from my life if I would not trust you with this. If I would leave you. Because I know so well that the Dimitri I know wouldn't do such a thing. I always knew, but my mind was clouded. But now, I know for sure that you wouldn't do such a thing." and he is just looking at me, not saying anything. And I can't bear this silence of his. I don't know what he is thinking about. This one time, I can't read him. And I fear what he might say. But I just wish for him to say something. To scold me, to tell me that I have been so stupid, to be angry with me, but to say something. Anything. But he doesn't. Instead, I speak some more, trying to get a reaction from him. "I refused to listen to you and even when I eventually listened to you, I didn't believe a single thing you told me. I was so dragged up into thinking all those bad things and everything you told me I took as a lie. But then, I spent these past two weeks asking myself _why_. _Why_ would you do all these things."

And at this, he finally speaks, after his squeeze on my hand stops me from speaking. "Rose." and he gives me a look that says 'come on; I thought you said you trust me.'. But he didn't let me finish. "There would _never_ be a thing that would make me do such a thing to you. There's nothing about you that could make me do such a thing. You're perfect to me."

I smile, shaking my head. "Come on. Don't be so good to me. I know I am full of flaws, Dimitri. I am difficult. Like _really_ difficult. And _really_ stubborn. I don't know how you could put up with my shit for so long, really now."

He smiles lightly and places some strands of mine behind my ear. "Hey. I knew what I was getting myself into. You even warned me. But I wouldn't change you for the world."

"Yeah...Thanks." is all I find proper to say because I feel like crying, but I do my best not to. He keeps on saying all these loving things, he has kept on saying them to me, despite all the bad things I said to him. He's saying all the right things. And in this moment, from my point of view, all I manage to say doesn't seem to be enough. I want to say so much more. But I don't know how to say it all so fast. I would probably start babbling soon if I don't burst into tears again. "But... I wasn't speaking about that thing. I was talking about a reason for _the other_ things."

He lifts his eyebrows. "What _other_ things?"

"All the _good_ things. Maybe you don't get what I am trying to say but I swear in my head it all makes sense. I just don't know how to express it right now."

We both smile, then he nods understandingly. "I think I get what you are talking about."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do." yeah, he always gets me, no matter how cryptically I get. "And I will tell you why."

"Why what?"

"Why I did those." I tilt my head some more, waiting for his response, even though I already know it. I have already got my response a long time ago. "Because I love you, Roza, that's why." And silence follows his response, time in which I scratch my brain for something to say. It seems that all I wanted to say vanished from my brain. "So…" he says avoiding my eyes for a second. "You just believe me without any proof?" he continues with that inquiry.

"I don't care if there is no proof. I don't need any proof, I have realized it. You, being right here in front of me, looking me in the eyes and answering me those two questions is everything I need to know. Everything I need to know to trust you. Last time we saw each other, you told me that I could believe you with what you told me. And I told you that that would be a hard thing for me to do." He nods, a sad expression getting across his features for a second. "Well, looking at you now, that doesn't seem as hard, Dimitri. And I came here to tell you that. To tell you that I trust you." I shrug. "I don't know...Maybe it is too late. Maybe this time you will be the one who won't believe me. Maybe you don't believe that I trust you. But at least I want you to know that I do. I really do. So, yes. The answer to your question is that I do trust you. I trust you in spite of the fact that there is no proof. I don't need a single proof." He is watching me again, silence filling the space between us, and I swear I have no idea what thought are passing through his head right now. He is again undecipherable. Gosh! This is way harder than I thought. But I still need to mend things up, no matter how hard it is. "Look. I know you have all the reasons in the world to be upset with me. I told you the meanest words. I...I wanted to hurt you." I come to a conclusion. "I wanted it _so bad_ , Dimitri. And I did it because…" I look down. I don't think I have a reason. I don't know what to tell him. There is no answer to be given to this thing. But he comes with the completion for me.

"Because you were hurting too." I nod. He is right. I was so absorbed by my hate when I said all those words and I now hate myself for saying them.

"Yes, that's true. But I was cruel. I brought out all these things up. All those things from your past. I was unfair with that thing. But still, I got out the worst of you. I pictured you as this… I described you as the worst person ever walking the earth." I laugh weakly. "But the truth is that you are nothing like that. Not at all. I have seen you on so many occasions being so good to others, so good to _me_ , so how could I believe you are the worst? So, yeah. I was foolish and I am sorry for that. For all of it."

"So, just like that? You changed your mind all of a sudden?"

I nod lightly, getting where he is trying to get. And of course, he is right. What changed all of a sudden, right? On the spur of the moment, I have come around and hurried here saying all these things to him. But nothing changed. I am just able to see things more clearly now, that's all.

"I have been nothing but unfair to you. And I understand if you feel reticent about this. You have all the rights to do so. To be upset too. Because...even when I was pretending to hate you, you just took it all. And you weren't guilty. You knew that, even though I was thinking otherwise. But still, you didn't say anything and took it all. All my words, all my actions. _That_ made me think about a lot of things too. If you would have been guilty and caught in the act, you could have just moved on. But no. You came to me. And despite how bad I acted, you didn't leave. That made me think especially about how much wrong I did to you. Of how much I refused to see the truth. The fact that you didn't give up on me when I was long trying to give up on you showed me how wrong I was to judge you so hastily."

"And you came here to tell me this. I get it that…" But he is saying it like he is expecting me to tell him something else, something to convince him all the way. There is a but coming from him next, I can feel it. And I don't let him say it.

"I won't say that I came here to give you a chance or anything like that. Because, first of all, that would mean I am being contradictory. That would mean that I believe you did something and that there is something for me to forgive you for. But I already told you that I trust you when you're telling me that nothing happened. I trust you completely with that, just to be clear." even though I think I said that for so many times already. But I just need him to know that. "Instead, I came here to ask you for a second chance." He frowns confused at my words. "A second chance for us. _No_. For _me_. A chance for me. Look." I pass my palms across my face trying to get a hold of myself and make myself be coherent all the way. This is not the time to start talking shit. "I doubted you when I should have trusted you. I simply believed everything else and everyone else around me except you, and I spent all my days denying what you have told me and trying to get you out as the bad guy. But the bad guy was me. And I want to make things right."

"But will your decision stay the same? What if after another couple of days you decide that you can't really get past it?" And I didn't expect this question to come from him. But he has all the reasons to ask it. He has a point after all. I already drastically changed my mind once. If someone would have asked me a couple of days ago if I would be here today, I would have laughed to their face and probably would have called them crazy. But now, here I am. So, as he tried to say it, what could stop me from changing my mind again? "I mean, there's no proof." he says shrugging.

I hold on to my tears as best as I can. "I don't care about any proof. And my mind won't change Dimitri. Not again. I know the truth now. I am seeing it clearly. And I want to… I _wish_ you would give me a chance to fix this. To show you that I trust you completely. To make it up to you for everything I said and done. I am now the one asking you to trust me back with this. There is nothing that could guarantee you that I won't change my mind. But I want you to know that I won't do that. Even though it may seem hypocritical for me to do so, to ask you to trust me, no? How can I expect you to do a thing that took me so long to do, no?" He passes a hand through his hair, looking at me like he has no idea what to say to me. Hell, I don't think I would know what to say to myself either if I would be him. I am asking for quite much here. And I get it is hard for him to make a decision right away. After all, I broke his trust by not giving him not even a single chance at first and by refusing to listen to him. "I… I um… I will let you think about it. I don't want your answer right away. I won't push you to do a thing you don't feel like doing now. I can't expect you to trust me right away."

"Roza... " he shakes his head. "You got it wrong. I wasn't trying to-"

"No. Really, Dimitri." I say smiling, even though I am so close to breaking in tears. But I don't want to do that at all. I don't want to push him by seeing me cry. I want his decision to be made completely uninfluenced by anything. And he has the right to think about it. "It's fine. Really. I get it. I understand completely. You have all the reasons to doubt me. I would doubt myself too. And you are right to do so." And in hastily moves I lean over the desk, grab the first pen I find and write down my number on a piece of paper and take his hand into mine, put the paper in it and enclose his fist, getting to feel his warm skin on mine once more this night. "Can you at least... promise me that you'll call me when you make your mind? No matter the answer. I'll… I'll wait for as long as it takes you to decide…" I say lastly, my voice cracking, and I know I can't sit around to wait for his answer if indeed he has one right away. I break contact with him and rush out the door as fast as I possibly can.

I think he called after me but I couldn't stay there for longer. I simply couldn't. I know it was a cowardly thing for me to do, running away like that. Maybe I should have stayed there and face the truth. To gather all my courage and take it all, everything that he would have said to me, good or no matter how bad. That would have been the right thing to do. But if he had an answer for me right away, I don't think I could have been able to hear it. Because I am expecting for him not to want me anymore. I don't know, but I have this bad feeling at the bottom of my stomach that is telling me that there really exists this possibility, of him telling me that he doesn't want to see me ever again, despite all the things he has reassured me of. And not because he might want to pay me back. No, he's too good of a man to do that. But because I did him so much wrong. Even when you still love somebody you might still tell them to go away if they are bad for you, no? And what if I am bad for him? And if that is the truth, I wouldn't have been able to take it today. I don't think I will ever be able to take it. But when he will call me, I will be as ready as I'll ever be. I'll have to face this thing then, no matter what.

I hastily get out of my former office as well and choose the stairs, feeling all of a sudden the urge to move my body and I descend a couple of storeys, until my feet start hurting from all my running away and I need to stop to catch my breath. My heart is beating like crazy and I need to take a seat in order to get a hold of myself, in order not to fall down from my now uneasy feet. I sit down on the stairs and the moment I feel the cold material under me, the moment I feel myself on steady ground, I start crying. I pull my knees up to my chin, round my arms on them and let it all out. And I silently cry in that cold, empty place until I am completely dry.

Gosh, what if it was all too late? What if I fucked things up beyond repair? What if now when I trust him, he decides he cannot trust me back? What if I lose him forever?

 **DPOV begins**

What I have done may have seemed a selfish thing, I know that. But it wasn't easy at all for me not to respond to her in any way at her request, and God, I so wished to just take her into my embrace and tell her that everything is alright. I may have seemed cold to her, I don't know what she thought about my questions. But I didn't do it for me only. I wasn't trying to hurt her in any way. I would never do such a thing on purpose. I know that she thinks I doubt her now, but in reality, I don't. I trusted every word she said to me and I swear I can't be happier that she trusts me. That she found it in her heart to listen to what I have told her and decided to trust me. I didn't expect what happened tonight to actually happen. I thought I lost her this time when she decided to leave town. But as always, she does unexpected things. And her coming here tonight and telling me all these things surely was unexpected.

But the only reason I did all this thing earlier is because I really need to know if _she_ is sure about what she is thinking, of everything that she said, now that she changed her mind about what happened that morning. I am sure of it, of everything I have told her tonight. And I want her to be sure too of what she really feels before we do anything else. So for now, I decided it would be best to let her go, to go and think about it some more. Because I need her to be sure of it. She needs to go and really think about it as she seems to have made a pretty quick decision. She is really good at making these kinds of things. A few hours ago she was leaving and a few moments ago she was in here. And I don't want her to rush into things and then regret it later, to change her mind again. I won't be able to take it if she comes back and then decides to leave again. It would be cruel. It would be the worst thing ever to lose her all over again. So all she needs is a little more time that I am ready to give her. I waited for two weeks. A little more won't hurt anybody, right?

 **DPOV ends**

I cried so much it made me sick to my stomach. Again these past days. So I rushed down the stairs and got into the bathroom downstairs to puke. And I guess this thing should be my cue to head back to that little room I live into now. I feel like total shit and maybe some sleep will manage to make me feel somewhat better. Or at least some laying down at least.

As I get out the bathroom door I take my phone out and look at what time it is. And I discover that I have spent the past fifteen minutes crying on those stairs. Nice, Rose. You'll get so fucking dehydrated these days. I just hope I won't end into the hospital because of that shit. And I check on my messages too and I see that Lissa has sent me some photos from her honeymoon about two hours ago. Aw, she and Christian are so cu-

And I bump into someone. I drop my phone in an instant and let out a scream and the one I have bumped into does the same. And so I find out that I have bumped into a man. I take a step back and analyze the person in front of me. And I see that it is the night guard, the man I first saw when I got into the building. I analyze him for a couple of seconds and see that he is quite old. He must be at least sixty.

When he sees me too, he takes his palm over his heart and lets out a relieved sigh. "Good God, girl! I thought you were some ghost roaming around the building."

Oh shit. So this means I made quite some noise around here, no? "I am sorry." I say and glue a weird smile on my lips.

"It's okay." he says bending down and picking up my phone, then hands it to me. "I just thought that you already left."

"Um...no. I was just…umm." I shrug. How can I tell him that I was crying my lungs out just on the staircase? But anyway, he may have heard me as he thought I was some ghost.

He analyzes me into the little time of silence that falls between us. "Was it that bad?" his voice gets softer.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Your fight." and at this, I frown. "If I am not being too inquirious, of course. Was it _that_ bad?"

"What? No. We didn't _fight_. We…" I look around the hallway for a second. I don't even know what that was, but for sure that wasn't a fight. "We talked…"

He gives me a small smile. "You know… if it makes you feel a little better, his face wasn't quite different from yours when he left this place. Of course, he hadn't been crying, but still." oh, so it is still visible that I have been crying.

"Well, I don't think that is making me feel better, but thanks anyway." he seems to have good intentions.

"Would sharing it make you feel better?"

"What? Why?"

He shrugs. "Sometimes, talking with someone might make things better."

"But why would you want to listen to my problems?"

He shrugs once more. "I am an old man. I like listening to stories. Plus, I don't get much company around here at night."

"I really don't want to bother you…"

He frowns. "Come on. There is a broken vending machine into the cafeteria and we can grab some snacks from there." he winks accomplice. "Are you in?"

And smiling, I nod, telling myself why the hell not? I don't have anyone to speak to about this thing now either. And if he is so willing to listen, who knows? Maybe he'll be able to give me some advice.

"You're Rose, no? I am not mixing these things up, no?" he asks me on our way to the cafeteria.

"I am but ho- oh. You have seen me in the magazines, no?"

"What? No. I don't have the time to read all that bullshit."

"Then how do you know?"

He smiles. "One of your friends around here told me about you. And when I saw you coming in, I guessed you came here to see him." oh, isn't he a well informed old man?

And I smile too. "It was Syd, no?"

"Yeah, that little walking encyclopedia did it." he says and we both chuckle. I think I am getting to like this man.

* * *

And actually speaking with this man makes things feel a little better. He's a really good listener and lets me tell him everything that happened so that he could understand everything and I spent quite some time with him eating cookies and getting things off my chest. It feels good to get an opinion from a person that wasn't involved in this thing.

"And...I acted like I didn't know him at all. I couldn't stay sane. I just let everyone influence me. I have let myself played by her. Again." and I laugh bitterly.

"Hey. Don't be so harsh on yourself. You couldn't have known all that really happened before you came home."

" _Yes_ , but I could have trusted him right away, no? I should have known that there was something wrong about that thing."

"Well, Rose. Sometimes we let ourselves driven by the things we see and ignore everything else. Our brains are pretty good at playing with us, even though they are the ones supposed to be the rational ones. But it is a good thing that you eventually saw past that. That is a start. It's a good thing."

"Yeah? But what if it is too late?"

He shakes his head. "It is never too late for anything, listen to me. That thing is just bullshit. People just say that because they are too afraid of owning their mistakes. But in fact, no matter how much time passes, all you have to do is to have the courage to acknowledge your mistakes and take responsibility for them."

"And then what?"

"And then you look for a way in which you can repair things."

"But what if some things cannot be repaired?"

"Hey." He places his palm over mine into a soothing gesture, just like a grandparent would do. I really like this man. He manages to make the torment in my head to slow down. I am glad I decided to remain here with him. "Listen to me, Rose. When there's love, everything can be repaired."

"You think so?"

He smiles. "I know for sure." And his words give me so much hope. Maybe not everything is lost. Now all I have to do is to wait for Dimitri's call.

"So, this means that you think that he-"

"Rose. One thing I know for sure. That Belikov is a good man and that he has a good heart. And not only from what you have told me, but from what I have seen ever since I work here. And I know one more thing. That he loves you. And you love him too, no?"

"Yes, I do. So much."

"That's good. That's all you need for you both to find a way to see this through."

And after we exhaust the subject, we spend some more minutes into a comforting silence.

"Now, you'd better head home. I bet you are tired."

I nod, even though I don't really feel like going to sleep. I get up from my chair and so does he. "It felt nice speaking with you. It really helped. You were right about that."

"Well, if you ever need any advice, you know where to find me. I'll be glad to help in any way."

"Thanks." And I can't help it, I just feel like doing this. I round my arms around him, giving him a big, tight hug and he laughs as he wraps his hands around me too.

* * *

And as I am supposed to walk home, I don't feel like really getting to that empty place, to be all by myself for the rest of the night. So I just head to a place nearby that I know. After five minutes of walking, I make my way into an almost empty bar, a bar I frequented on so many occasions with Dimitri, the bar we have been to together the night before things started to go down. I get to the bar and take a seat.

"Hey there. What's your poison tonight? What cocktail do you want to try tonight?" it's the guy who owns the place and served us so many times.

"Nah, no cocktail for me tonight." I can't seem to be wanting any alcohol lately. Only its smell makes my intestines twirl. "Just bring me some OJ. Do you have any?" he nods slowly, probably thinking at my unusual request. But I honestly don't give a damn right now. "A big glass, please."

He brings me what I ordered and then remains for some more seconds in front of me, watching me.

"What happened?" is there something on my face or what?

"I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry for what happened that night…"

"Oh. Don't mention it. It's alright. We're dealing with it. And it's not like you have any fault."

"Yeah, right." he says nodding, passes a hand through his hair like he would want to tell me something more, but eventually leaves. Okay, that was somehow weird the fact that he felt the need to say that he is sorry about that thing. But if a part of it happened into his bar, that doesn't mean that-

"Hey. Can I ask you something?" I call after him as an idea comes to my mind.

"Yeah, sure. Shoot."

"You made Dimitri's drinks that night, no?"

He blinks a couple of times before responding to me. "Yes, I did."

"And you were here as he drank them, no?"

"Well, I was _around…_ It's not like I was watching him the whole time, you know? I have had plenty of other customers that night."

"Yeah, of course." it would have been weird if he would have stalked each of Dimitri's actions. "I just wanted to ask if, by any chance, you saw that red-headed woman put something into his drink?"

His face goes blank for a second. " _No_ , God, no. I hope that such a horrible thing didn't happen in my bar." well, it happened. If he wasn't around to see it, that's too bad. I could have had a witness against Nina and Tasha this way. But well, shit happens. "So, is that what you think happened? That that girl drugged him?"

I nod, stirring into my drink. "Well, mostly, yes."

"What about…I mean, what if…" and I throw him an ugly glance, not letting him finish that sentence in which he would have called Dimitri a cheater. He lifts his palms up into a defending gesture. " _Okay_ , then. What do I really know about that anyway? It's your problem to deal with." and he takes a second to process things. "Wow. What a bitch. She fucking drugged him." and he exhales hard, being probably annoyed. Well, he has some reasons to be.

"But if you would have seen something, you would have warned him, no?"

"What kind of question is that?" he says seeming really offended. And well, maybe I took it a little too far now. "Of course I would have told him. I wouldn't have allowed for someone to get drugged into my bar. Ever. This right here is supposed to be a safe place."

"Yeah, sure."

"But is that what you _really_ think that happened?" he insists with that question, and it feels like he _wants_ me to think otherwise. Or he really wants to believe that it didn't happen in here, right under his nose and he wasn't able to see it.

But oh, I don't _think_ that. I know it for sure. But I don't tell him this, I don't want to make him feel bad some more. Instead, I shrug and wave my hand around. "Don't really _know_. I was just thinking about stuff."

* * *

And as I happily fill my body with the vitamins in my second glass of juice, someone comes and sits right next to me at the bar, but I don't bother with her presence.

"Hey there, Theo." she gets her flirty tone on immediately. Oh, someone's obviously looking for some tonight, I can feel it. And I must admit that she doesn't have a bad taste in men. Our bartender looks quite alright. Okay, I am obviously diminishing his attractiveness. If I wouldn't have already had my heart taken a long time ago, I might have considered him hot and I would have done the same thing as the woman next to me is doing right now, trying to get his attention.

But Theo doesn't seem to care at all about the woman next to me. Like at all. He comes in front of us, a bored expression on his face and I could swear that he is doing it on purpose, trying to seem as uninterested as possible. If I study him well, he might look mad. But what do I know about how flirting works nowadays? Maybe acting like you're not interested at all actually does its thing. But the thing is that he _has_ flirted with every woman that has come around the bar for the past hour. Except her.

So I get curious. I need to see why he is acting like this. Is she that unattractive? But as I look at her, I get confused. She looks really good, way better than the other women he has flirted with tonight. She is tall, has big green eyes, her brown short cut hair is styled into nice waves and she is dressed really nicely, the clothing doing justice to her lean body. So what is wrong with her then? But of course, I cannot ask this. So I just resume to sip on my drink and sneakily eavesdrop to their conversation. But there is nothing interesting going around. When she sees that she is ignored, her lips curl in displease, orders a drink and announces him that she'll shortly come back for it because she is heading outside for a smoke.

And as I am still trying to find a reason why he ignored her, I think about how she looks some more. And as I do that, her features seem familiar to me all of a sudden. And I realize that I know this woman from somewhere. But I can't pinpoint exactly the moment in which I have seen her before. So I pay for my drinks and head outside looking for her. I can't wait for her to come back. I need to see her once more right away. I need to know right now from where I know her, as my brain is sending me signals that she would be someone important.

It doesn't take me much to spot her, as her golden blouse makes her stand out from the crowd. I make my way through all the smokers and as I get closer to her, my brain gives me the answer to the question: Where do I know her from?

And the answer is that she has been here that night. She is the woman Nina was with that night. I didn't pay her much attention then, but the image of her face has stuck with me.

"Hey." I say as I reach her. She stops with her cigarette in between her lips, analyzes me, then nods. "Look. It may seem weird that I have come to you all of a sudden, but I know you."

"No, you don't. I am quite good at remembering people and I don't remember you."

"Well, maybe you don't. But _I_ remember you. You are Nina's friend."

Her jaw drops for a second. Ha! I was right. "I don't know any Nina." she says obviously distressed. She throws her cigarette on the ground and wants to walk away, but I stop her by getting in her way.

"Hey, don't you think you would make our lives easier if you'd just stop denying that thing with Nina? I am not looking for any troubles. I just want some answers. Simple."

"Okay, honey. First, I don't know any Nina." fine, maybe that woman's name isn't Nina. But they sure knew each other very well. "Second, I need you to get out of my way." she says taking a step back. "And third, you are crazy. I really don't know what you are talking about."

And one thing I hate is being called crazy. So if she already established this, why wouldn't I act like a crazy person then? Just to give her a reason to call me like that. I catch her by her arm and hold her tight, my fingers digging into her flesh, and I pull her closer to me so that she would be able to hear me better. "Look, _honey_. I tried to do things in a friendly manner. But I am not here to play games with you. I am so fucking sick of doing that." I have been played for too long now and I am done with that.

"If you don't let go of me now, I'll start screaming."

"Yeah, sure. Go ahead. Do that, please. What would that help you with? I'll come with an excuse that you have been sleeping with my man and maybe some of the women around here might join me. Is it really worth it?" I say and tighten my hold on her arm, bluffing all the way. I really don't know what would happen if she would start screaming.

"What do you want from me?" she says almost as a whine and I let go of her hand now that I got what I needed. It was easier than I expected, really.

"I just want to know two things. First, I want to know where she is hiding. Where is Nina or whatever her name is? I want to have a talk with your friend. And second, I want to know what was your role in all of this. What part did you play in this?"

And her facade breaks. She is shaking her head strongly and from her voice I can sense that she is on the verge of crying. "Look. I can't tell you anything. I… She would kill me if I'd do that. Hell, she would end me even if she would know that I ever was near you, that you have recognized me. I can't afford to be near you, Rose. I am sorry but I can't tell you anything." and she hastily leaves, taking me by surprise, her long legs moving way too fast for me to be able to catch up with her, and she leaves me behind and very confused. What is she talking about? What is she so afraid of? What could Tasha be able to do to her? Hell, this thing is just getting shadier with each passing day, isn't it?

* * *

"Please excuse my language but there is no other way on which I can properly say this." he says and turns his attention back to me. "But, Rose, are you out of your _fucking_ mind? What in the name of God were you thinking when you have gone there and did that shit? No, in fact, why the hell weren't you thinking at all? What came over you all of a sudden?"


	54. Chapter 54

**Hello! Hope you guys are having an amazing beginning of the week!**

 **And dear guest, please do tell me what was confusing, maybe I'll be able to shed some light on that matter. Or maybe this new chapter will be able to do so :)**

 **Enjoy, and until Thursday, lots of hugs!**

 **Oh, and P.S., this chapter is rated M ;)**

* * *

"Please excuse my language but there is no other way on which I can properly say this." Christian says looking at my parents and turns his attention back to me. "But, Rose, are you out of your _fucking_ mind? What in the name of God were you thinking when you have gone there and did that shit? No, in fact, why the hell weren't you thinking at all? What came over you all of a sudden?"

And I swear that I have heard from the three of them the same fucking question, just in different forms, for about a billion times already and I haven't been here for long. Just fifteen minutes and I already feel like I got dragged back to high school and Mason and I did something stupid that got us in serious trouble and we have been taken into the principal's office, that tyrant Kirova, our parents having been called a long time ago and we were in for a serious scold and eager to find out what other brilliant punishment Kirova would have prepared for us in her attempt to make us behave. And today the history repeats itself, only that I am a mature woman now and there is no Mason around to share the scold with me. I am alone, facing three of the people supposed to be understanding with me. Oh, and of course, I am being scolded for something I don't consider that bad. It was my choice after all and it's my life. But still, I have to listen to all the things they have to say to me.

So, I am patiently sitting on the sofa in my former apartment, waiting for this thing, whatever it is, to be over, while my mother, Lissa and Christian are standing in front of me, serious expressions on their faces (more than serious, in fact; they're practically angry with me and it's miracle that no one is yelling by now), their hands crossed over their chests, speaking with me in a seemingly cold, professional tone, trying to look really imposing, and for a second I feel like I am part of a crime show and they are trying to get a confession from me. But even though they are really immersed in their characters, taking this thing very seriously, all I feel now is like chuckling at their sight. This situation seems hilarious to me. They have been talking about it for so long and have been asking me so many things, but didn't really give me a single chance to respond to any of their questions, to at least try to defend myself somehow, because as soon as one of them stops, another takes its place and continues to tell me how stupid I am for going to Dimitri the other day. Well, damn you stupid magazines and damn you Liss, who couldn't keep her mouth shut this time. Even though I made her promise to me that she won't tell anybody what happened between Dimitri and I two nights ago, as soon as she came back from her honeymoon, in her worrying for me, she felt the need to spill the tea to my parents and they felt the need to rush back in town, combining their forces for something that seems like an intervention or something like that.

And the only person around who seems as undisturbed as I am by everything going around here is my father, who is sitting across the room, next to the exit door, casually leaning over a wall, simply looking at us, not saying anything; he didn't say anything ever since he said hello to me, that quiet he has been. My eyes meet his for once as I study him, and I shrug amused, not knowing how to really react to all of this, but he still keeps his stillness, not letting anything visible. So, only God knows what is going on into that fella's mind. I am sure that he has something to say about this thing too. I just wonder when he'll be willing enough to share it with me and how bad it will be.

"Hey there! Earth to Rose!" Christian says wiggling his hand in front of my eyes. "Are you even _listening_ to us or are we just wasting our words here for nothing?"

I move my eyes back on him and see that, along his fiery speech, his chalky cheeks started to turn a little red. "Well…" I say waving my hand around, expecting for someone to interrupt me again, but they have finally decided to let me speak. "...considering that you all have been saying the same things over and over again for the past ten minutes, I must admit that I got a little bored along the way."

And oh, you should see the face he pulls at my words. He rolls his eyes and then lifts his hands up in desperation, letting out a loud sigh. "You are _unbelievable_ , Rose. You know what? I am not going to try to bring some sense into your mind. Do whatever the hell you want!" he says and turns his back to us and heads into the kitchen.

Okay, one down, two or maybe three more to go. Let's see how this goes. Probably not as easy as it was with him. So next, I give my attention to the two women standing in front of me and throw them a questioning look. Let's see what else they have to say.

The first one to approach me is Lissa, her expression softening as she comes and sits next to me on the sofa, taking my hand into hers, probably trying to make peace with me, but I give her an upset glance. I am a little upset about the fact that she lied to me.

"Look, Rose. I didn't mean this thing today to come out like this but we needed to talk with you. And I know you wouldn't have come here if you knew why I was asking you to come over." well, she is right. If I would have known what was waiting for me here, I wouldn't have come around. "But all I want to tell you is that… that you just think you can do it."

"What?"

"This. Going back to him, Rose. Forgiving him."

"There is nothing that I have to forgive. He didn't _do_ anything."

And at my stubbornness, she sighs. "Fine, Rose. As you say. But the thing is that you are only lying to yourself that he didn't do it. You have seen it with your own eyes. How can you change your mind like that and pretend that nothing happened?"

"Because _nothing happened_!"

She shakes her head. "It was hard for you after that thing happened, we all know that. We've all been there for you, Rose. And I understand that it may still be hard for you now and you want to believe that he didn't do it, but the truth is that he did it. I know you miss him very much, but…"

"No, no. No buts, Liss. I am not doing this thing just because I miss him or anything like that. That's bullshit. I have just realized that he could never do such a thing and that what he has been telling me all along was true."

And at this, my mother puffs disapprovingly distracting my attention from Lissa and I catch her when she rolls her eyes. "He just fooled you with an elaborated story! He has _no proof,_ Rose _. Absolutely none!_ All he has are stupid words and lies. And you still choose to believe him! Come _on_ , Rosemarie." ouch, we got to a whole name situation. This surely cannot take a good turn, I can feel it. It always ends badly when we reach this phase. It's either me or her who is going to explode. And if she continues like this, it will be me the one who is going to snap. She sighs and passes a hand through her auburn waves. "He is one of the best businessmen around here. He _knows_ how to fool people! He is good at dissimulating. He is so used to doing that! What do you think? That you are the first woman he treats like that? The first woman he lies to? Of course you are not! He has so much damn experience with lying. Can't you really see past that? What did he do to convince you? What did he say to you that you blindly trust him?"

I shake my shoulders. They can say anything they want to me. I don't care. I will not go with my brain with this. I won't let this no proof thing affect me in any way. My heart tells me otherwise. I don't need the logic now. My heart has enough proofs, it already knows everything it needs to know to trust him. And I will listen to it this time, no matter how hard they try to change my mind.

"Why didn't he keep on going out with Tasha?" I ask instead of responding to any of her questions. I try to ask them one of the same questions I have been asking myself for the past two weeks, the questions that have made me realize how wrong I was before.

"What _on earth_ does Tasha have to do with this, Rose?" my mother asks into an exhausted voice. I bet she is already sick of my reasons. "Really, now. It's not about her. It's about you and how-" and she stops and sighs, probably thinking that what she was going to say next would have upset me. And it kind of does upset me because I know what she wanted to tell. I know she is thinking it. They all are thinking it, but none said it, just suggested it a lot.

"Come on, mum. Say it out loud. Say how _stupid_ you think I am. I won't mind. You three have been insinuating it until now. At least you should have the guts to tell it to my face." I throw her my signature defying look and this thing sends her anger to the roof.

"Oh, I am not afraid to tell it to your face. And of course I believe you are being stupid! Foolish. Call it whatever you want. But it is not the right thing what you're doing now and you don't want to admit it!"

"Yeah? And how can you be so sure I am doing the wrong thing?"

"Because, Rose, you overlook the fact that that is what people like him do!"

In a second I shot up from the sofa and get in front of her, breathing her air now. "People like him!? _Please_ explain to me what that should mean." I am starting to get really pissed of now and she is surely not helping.

"Hey, guys…you shouldn't..." Lissa gets up too, comes in between us and tries to make amends now, but I cut her short by lifting my hand.

" _No_. You started this, Liss. So if you asked me to come around and watch a damn movie and instead you brought them here to have this shit going, then let this shit be going on!" and I turn my attention back to my mother, crossing my arms over my chest. "Now please, tell me what kind of person he is. Illuminate me."

"A cheater." she says with so much confidence. "He likes to play games, to fool around. _That_ is what he is and he'll _never_ change, no matter how much you wish it to happen. It was always out there, his adventures, all the time and you have seen them. You can't change who he is, Rose. That is his lifestyle: to never have a single woman, no matter how good she is. He likes it that way. But you are too blind to see it. And when you'll see it, it will be too late. And you'll end up worse than any other woman he ever had. Get away as long as you still can come clean out of this. As long as you don't make a fool of yourself in public." oh, and again she starts with the reputation thing. That is all she cares about!

"Yeah, mum. Just trust everything you see into those damn magazines."

"The facts in there were never wrong, no?" well, to be completely honest, she is right with this, but until a while back. But sometimes what you see in magazines is just staged up shit, just like those photos with Nina. She sees my reaction and decides to push things forward. "He never really changed but you are too blind to see it. You just choose to believe his deceiving words."

"No. You are wrong! He is _not_ the same. You just can't see past all that media shit. In fact, you never liked him, admit that shit! You never even _tried_ to give him a chance, not even just once. You just put a label on him and refused to see past that. And this supposed thing happening right now, the one with the cheating, just gave you another reason not to like him."

"Well, for me it seems that I was never wrong." she says cockily and I laugh to her face.

"No, you have never been right. You don't have a single clue about what kind of person he is. But I know him." and I turn my attention to the person next to us. "And you know him too, Liss. You have been around him then. You have seen how he acts. Do you think he would be capable of a thing like that?" she just resumes to shrugging, her face giving me signals that she doesn't know what to really think about it and she throws a look into Christian's direction, who has decided to join us again and he throws me a disapproving look at my attempt to change Lissa's mind and try to make her be on my side. "Okay, fine. But tell me this. Why didn't he keep on being with Tasha?" I push it again with my question. But I just want them to understand my reasons.

" _Her_ again." my mother says exasperatedly. "Why do you keep on bringing her into the discussion? This is not about her. She is so not responsible for this thing. He just played with your mind into thinking that she did something again. Come on. Think about it. She wouldn't go that far, Rose." oh, but they have no fucking idea how far Tasha would be able to take things because they don't even know half the things she tried to do to us, just a very brief story about how she tried to separate us a few times, but nothing too detailed. But anyway, that was not the reason I brought her into the discussion.

" _Because_ she is the one who used to overlook all of his adventures, no matter how many. She used to not care about all that and not say a single thing to him. _Because_ it would have been easy for him to be with her. He could have continued his _lifestyle_ by being with her. But _instead_ , he is with _me_." If he will still be with me, I haven't gotten my response from him yet and only thinking about that makes my anxiety rise to the roof.

"Well, maybe he was looking for a challenge." she says snarly and I swear I see proudness in her eyes. Oh, she thinks she is right so fucking bad. "He was looking for someone new to fool. And look. He found _you_. And it wasn't hard for him to fool you after all, no? You believed everything he told you. Gosh, Rose. Can't you see that you're nothing more to him than another fun game to play? Another woman that he has fooled around with? Do you really want to be one of _those_ women who-?" and she stops again, not finishing her sentence but I know what she wanted to say.

And my jaw drops completely. "I can't believe you just wanted to say that, mum. Wow. That's _fucking amazing_. Thanks a lot for implying I'm a loose woman." but hell, it wouldn't have been the first time she did this.

And she wants to tell me something more and I want to get back at her too, but Christian gets involved into the discussion again. "Oh, you can't believe that she almost said that," so what he believes that too? I swear that if he even implies that, I am going to punch him so bad it will hurt him for weeks, I swear. "but you believe a so-called psychic instead of what you have seen for yourself?" yeah, of course Lissa told him about that thing too. Weren't we supposed to keep each other's secrets?

"You believed her when she told you about your baby." I snap at him.

"That is _way_ different, Rose."

"Yeah, how?"

"There were half half chances she was right."

"And in this situation too! What is your logic, huh?" and he doesn't have a response for this. "And I choose to believe into the favorable chances. Because I know they are true."

"Ugh! You are so damn impossible to talk with!" he says exasperatedly. It seems that everyone gets this reaction when I start speaking. "Something is clouding your judgement, that is for sure and I am done trying to bring some sense into your mind." he gives up and plops on the sofa, taking a relaxed pose despite his obvious irritability. Well, he may be done, but I am not. They are the ones who wanted to talk, so let's talk.

"You are so wrong. There is nothing clouding my judgement. In fact, I am seeing things clearer than I have ever had. I too thought that he didn't change when all that shit happened. But in my angriness, I overlooked all the ways in which he has shown me that the changed in fact. All the ways he is _not_ the same man I first met. And you haven't seen that, you weren't there. But I did. I was around when that change happened. You can't understand it."

"Yeah, we don't get it but you see it all crystal clear, Rosemarie. Of course, what was I expecting?" my mum gets sarcastic. "But you're seeing it all wrong. You're way too in love with him to see past everything."

I laugh to her face. "Oh, _come on_ , mum, you are starting to get ridiculous."

And at this, she is the one who laughs. "Oh, so I am the one being ridiculous, no? What about you, Rose?"

But I choose to ignore her question and continue with trying to make them see my point. "He could have chosen the simple way and continue to have a hundred women while she would have taken it and wouldn't have muttered a single word about it. He could have asked Tasha to marry him and she would have surely said yes. She would have been the perfect wife, letting him roam all over town, letting him get in bed with as many other women he would have wanted, only by knowing that he will come back to her at the end of the day. But _no_. He didn't do that thing with her!"

"But did he do that with you?" are the first words my father speaks in a long time and I realize that I have let this marriage thing slip. I take a look around the room and they all look back at me shocked, except Lissa, who already knew about that proposal.

I nod. "Well...yes. He...kind of did." somehow at least, if I didn't get it wrong.

"What _the hell_ , Rose!?" my mother's tone gets high-pitched. "You forgive him and now you _marry_ him? How far can your foolishness go?"

Gee, mum. Thanks for the vote of confidence. "No. He didn't…" but she doesn't let me finish because she is angry as hell and must protest some more.

"Let me get this straight. What now? Are _you_ going to play the perfect wife while he's roaming around town?"

I sigh exhausted. It's so hard the thing that none of them is willing to give me some credit or even let me explain myself. Now I know how hard it must have been for Dimitri to talk with me while I was dismissing each word of his that day at the motel. I surely must apologize to him for what a pain in the ass I have been. " _God_ , mum, let me talk for a second. I was just trying to tell you that that happened _before…_ "

" _Oh_ , I understand. He asked you to marry him and as a gift that you said yes, he went behind your back and cheated on you, no? Am I getting the facts right?" my mother says venom filling her words. And this is the moment I decide I have had enough from everybody.

I clench my teeth so hard that my whole jaw hurts, but I don't say anything more. I don't want to argue with them anymore. I don't want for any of us to get to say more things that we might regret. I just turn around, grab my things and put my coat on hastily.

"What are you doing?" Christian gets speaking again.

"Don't know. What does it seem like I am doing, smartass? I am getting the hell out of here. I am done with this thing." I say getting past my mother and when I get in front of Lissa, I stop there for a second as she got a light hold of my wrist.

"Rose, I am sorry if…"

And I stop her. "No. It's okay. I get it that you were worried about me. But I am really fine." I am finally feeling way better than I ever did these past days. There is no more anguish. "I am not mad at you Liss if this is what you are worried about. I guess I would have done the same if I were you." I say and round an arm around her, taking her into a little hug, and she squeezes me hard, then we pull away. "I get it that you have good intentions, but I can't sit around and listen to you all talking shit about him. I don't care if you don't believe him. I do and that won't change." and to my surprise, none of them says anything else to try to stop me or to make me change my mind. I bet they have understood that that would be a hard thing to do.

But as I get closer to the door, I see my father analyzing me. He has been so quiet so far that I almost forgot he was in here. I stop next to him.

"So? What about you, dad? You haven't said much until now. Let me guess. You come last to impose a conclusion? You don't have anything to add to what they have said or they said everything that needed to be said?"

He shrugs, smiling lightly. "I don't know what to tell you, Rose. I know that no matter what we tell you now, you will still do things your way. And I knew that when you told us you can't leave town it was because of him, but still, I didn't say anything to stop you back then because I knew too that you wouldn't have listened, just like you are not listening now." Well, at least he knows me best. "I just don't know if your decision is the right one this time."

"You _met_ him, dad. You had your talk with him. Did he seem capable of doing that thing? Did he say anything to you that would have made you not trust his intentions?" I laugh a little. "Gosh, he was my first boyfriend that you ever liked. In only ten minutes you two seemed to have become best friends. How come you changed your opinion about him? _You_ told me that you think he is a good man. How come you don't believe that anymore?"

"I don't know, Rose. Sometimes we let ourselves fooled by people around us. We see them as we think they are, not as they really are."

I nod. "Okay. I get it. You have the same opinion as them. You think that he is just playing a game." and I turn around to look at them all at once. "And I don't blame any of you of that. It took me a while to realize that he didn't have anything to do with that thing. I know it's hard for you to believe it too now, it was hard for me too to see past everything, but I trust him completely now. And if by me deciding to trust him you get mad with me, well, that is your problem, not mine." I say lastly and get out the door.

But as I make my way on the hallway of the story, I feel a hand on my shoulder. It seems that someone is not willing to give up yet. I turn around and find my father looking at me, an indecipherable expression on his face.

"Are you sure about this, Rose?" his tone gets really soft.

"Yes, dad. I really am."

He nods lightly and looks around for a second, then back at me. "You know I just want you to be happy kiz, no? We all do. We're not trying to be your enemies here."

I smile weakly. "Of course I do, dad. I don't want to argue with you all either, but you should all try to understand that Dimitri is the one making me happy."

"Fine." he says, his tone getting a little harsher.

"Fine what?"

"I won't say that I trust him, I really can't do that, kiz, but you are my daughter and I am going to try to trust that you know what you are doing, even though I am somehow doubting that you really know what you are doing by going back to him. But no matter my opinion or yours about this, all I wish is for you not to get hurt again. I just wish that this thing you're doing now to be the right thing."

"But it _is_ the right thing to do, dad."

"Fine." he sighs defeated. "If this is what you really believe, then so be it. I'll let you take responsibility for what might happen. Because we did our job and warned you about it, Rose." he leans forward and places a fatherly peck on my forehead, then turns around and gets back into the apartment. Nice. Now not even my father doesn't seem to support me. No one in that apartment does. And that sucks so bad.

* * *

 **A maid's POV begins**

"Anna, where are yesterday's magazines?" she asks me as I bring her coffee. "I want to see them. I didn't have the time to do so yesterday." Oh, shit. This is what I was afraid of. "You know I don't like to fall behind with the rumours." she says sounding already

I decide it's the best approach to lie to her. "We didn't receive them, Miss."

"What do you mean we didn't receive them? Are you fucking with me?" I vigorously shake my head no. "I will have a talk with those fucking incompetents. But still, I want those magazines now!" she commands. And I sit in front of her, stupidly looking back at her, praying that she will forget somehow about those magazines and tell me to do something else or that she will get so angry with me for not doing anything that she will forget about the magazines. Either way, I don't want her to see them. Especially one of them. "Hey, there! Did I stutter or something? Go bring me the damn magazines now! I don't care how you get your hands on them, but I want to see them laying on this table in ten minutes."

And I swear I really consider the possibility of quitting right in this moment, just so that she won't see those damn magazines. But who am I kidding here? I need the money this bitch is paying me. So I do as I am said. I go get the magazines and exactly seven minutes later, I get back into her room with a stack of magazines. And I arrange them so that the most dangerous one is the last, in the hopes that she will get bored and she won't reach it. I am so not in the mood for another breakdown of hers. But hell, she is paying me quite good for someone who doesn't own much lately. Let's see for how much longer she'll be able to go on like this.

And for a couple of minutes, everything is fine and she is quiet, and, in my foolishness, I start to believe that she won't see it. Until she starts screaming.

"Oh, _come on_ , Rose! For the love of God! This was the perfect thing! How come you always screw up my plans?"

And now I know that she has seen the big news from yesterday, along with a photo of Rose entering Belikov Enterprises at night. Oh, and the titles in there are a delight for her to read, I am sure: "Late night visits of the cheated-on ex.", "What is happening between the two of them now?", "Is someone trying to make amends after cheating?", "Is she going to forgive him now that they met again?"

And soon enough, things start to fly around her room, and you can clearly hear things breaking as she is overtopping the breaking sounds with her angry screaming. "You _always_ reacted as expected and now _what_? _Fucking bitch_! I have planted things into your mind for so long and you do _what_? You have the voice of reason in you all of a sudden?" and some objects even get thrown out the door frame that I soon get into to watch her, wanting to make sure that she won't hurt herself again. She stops for a second to laugh maniacally. "She saw them _together_ in their _fucking_ bed and he has _nothing, absolutely nothing_ and she still goes back to him! How stupid can she be? I did everything right!" she stops and takes a seat on the floor, right next to the bed, taking the magazine in her hand and looks at its cover one more time. "And they both ruined me…" She says into a moment of pure weakness. " _He_ ruined me…" but then, some seconds later, she wipes her eyes and her face gets harsh. " _Fuck_ their perfect love story and _fuck_ their strong relationship! This won't end here. I am going to end her! If she didn't leave him, I will take her away from him." she says taking a decision and nods rapidly. "Yeah...Soon. Just let them think they won. I am going to get back at them." and a twisted smile appears on her lips. "I will win, no matter what." and she keeps on repeating that until her eyes lift and she notices me into the doorway and her head snaps in my direction. " _What_? What are you doing here?"

"I heard some noise…"

"Shut the hell up!" she says getting up and fixes herself. "What is with this mess around here? Can't you properly do your job? Come on, start tidying things up quickly." just my favorite activity, to clean up the messes she makes when she loses her mind. "I want this place to be immaculate when I come back." she says while casually opening her closet, acting like nothing happened before. "How is the weather outside?"

"It's pretty chilly, Miss."

"Fine. I'll get some thick coat."

"But…"

She looks at me frowning, like how did I dare interrupt her. "What do you want now? Why didn't you start tidy things up?"

"You know… There are those two women that should come around today…"

"Well, too bad. They'll have to wait for me. I have something very important to do right now." she says and gets out the room, leaving me completely clueless on where she is going or what she is going to do. And only God knows what idea has popped into her head this time, but I must admit that it sounded bad. Soooo bad.

 **A maid's POV ends**

* * *

And I take the long way back to my empty apartment, taking a long walk around town, trying to let the sadness from what happened earlier get out of my system, listening to music and continuously thinking about the day when my phone will finally ring and it will be Dimitri calling me, and I will get to find out his answer. Now I am pretty mad at myself for not remaining there to hear his answer because this waiting is killing me. It's been only two days but it feels like so much longer.

A stop at the market and about an hour later I eventually get to my so-called home and I get up the stairs while I am looking for a song that I like along my playlist as I can't seem to find anything that satisfies my needs right now. And when I almost reach my storey, I get my eyes out from my phone. And the light in here isn't that great, the lightbulb on my storey being completely nonexistent, and as my eyes accommodate with the change of light, I spot that there is a someone in front of me, somewhere down, and I let out a squeal of fright way before my brain understands who is the one sitting on the steps just next to my door. It's Dimitri. He's casually sitting there, watching me, his elbows on his knees, his chin propped on his entangled fingers, his hair unclasped and falling on his wide shoulders that are covered by his signature duster. _Oh, God_. He is really here. I need to restrain myself from throwing myself into his arms again, and instead, I analyze his beautiful features as my eyes are now able to distinguish them better, but this only makes me want to touch him more.

When his eyes meet mine, he smiles warmly. I snap out of it, take off my headphones and reciprocate the smile. "Gosh, Dimitri. You scared me." I say and try to sneakily arrange my hair, passing my fingers through it. Did I even brush it before going to Lissa? I hope it doesn't look like a bird's nest after all that wind that has blown it on my way home. But I surely didn't expect to see him here now. In fact, I am more surprised that he knows that I live here, but let's be honest; he knows a lot of things around town and the place I live into would have been so easy to find. I bet he always knew, but he was so good and respected my request of not coming near me again.

He gets up and shrugs. "Well, I actually said something, but you were too distracted to hear me. Sorry for that." he says picking up my tote bag after he puts back some of the things that got scattered on the stairs, and gives it back to me. I didn't even realize I get go of it.

"Thanks. But it's nothing. It's okay. I just… didn't expect you to come around. I thought you'd call." I hoped he will eventually.

"I was thinking that it would be better if we would speak face to face." oh, and his approach makes my stomach knot and I almost let out a little whimper. Fuck! Usually, when someone says this they have a bad thing to tell you and want to be compassionate by telling it to your face instead of delivering the bad news through texts or voicemails.

But I don't let him know I am expecting for the worst thing to happen. I am keeping my expression loose, trying to seem relaxed, I nod and get my keys out. "Yeah, that's better." I agree with him. "Let's go in, shall we?" and he nods. "Did you wait for me for long?" God knows for how long he has been here. I have tried to be away for most of the day as I didn't want to be in here alone.

"You don't usually come off work this late." oh, so he knows my schedule too? I smile. Of course he knows this too. And by doing the math, I get that he must have been waiting for me for at least an hour or maybe two. Well, shit.

"Yeah... I don't work there anymore. I was just a little busy with an _intervention_." I say rolling my eyes as I remember the talk I had earlier this day.

"You what?" he asks confused.

I shake my head and wave my hand around, dismissing the subject as I am unlocking the door. I don't want him to know this shit. "It's nothing important. Come in." I gesture after him and he follows me inside.

We get in and this room seems way too small for me all of a sudden. It feels like the air in here is unbreathable, even though I have left the window open wide as I was away and the fresh air is all over the place and it is quite chilly around here and I need to round my arms on myself so that I won't start tremble after I take my coat off. I let him make his way further into the studio, his eyes scattering the place and he spends some good seconds looking at his sweater laying on the armrest of the sofa, and he eventually chooses to stop in the part of the room that is my bedroom, taking a place just next to the wall beside my bed. I choose the spot just next to the door, leaning over the kitchen counter, keeping some distance between us. It's funny to think that we are no more than a few meters apart but still sitting in different rooms, if this is what you can call them. But right now it's not the time to feel amused.

And I wait for him to tell me his response, or at least to tell me something, as I nervously move my foot up and down on the wooden floor, filling the silence between us with my lightly tap, and I look around the room, trying to avoid his glance out of a reason I can't pinpoint now. But at last, I know I have to look at him and when I meet his eyes, I don't know what to expect. The thought that he would not want me anymore is killing me. But still, I try to seem easygoing, even though I am sure that I don't look like that at all. I can feel each part of my body tensed into this bad anticipation. And for a couple of seconds, we look at each other without uttering a single word, and the warm look in his eyes assures me for these short moments, making the aching in my heart disappear a little and I remember the things that Matthew, the nice night guard, told me the other night back at the office and I let a wave of hope pass through me.

At last, he opens his mouth. And I realize that I still can't hear it, his decision. I am not ready for it, even though I so much want to know what decision he has gotten to, and I have this huge knot in my stomach that is telling me to prepare for the worst. And not because he would be that a bad guy to want to hurt me back, but because I have hurt him for far too many times with my words and this time was the worst of all. He didn't deserve it. So instead of letting him speak, I speak first.

"Before you tell me what you decided… I…" I bite my lip trying to come up with the proper thing to say. "I want to tell you something first." And I take a deep breath in, and let it all out. "I misjudged you, Dimitri. I have no excuse for that. It wasn't fair. I was cruel. I may not deserve your forgiveness for everything I said, but… gosh. I want you to know that I really do trust you. And my mind won't change. Ever. The other day, when you looked me in the eyes and answered me those two questions… I knew that… I _felt_ that I was the one who was wrong and you have been telling me the truth all along. And if you…" I gulp my words as I can't bring myself to say it out loud. "I will take it. I understand if you…" I say and my voice cracks. _No_! I am not going to be a whiny bitch. I need to be a grown up and deal with it. As my father said, I need to take responsibility for what I am doing now and most of all, for what I did. I take a deep breath and continue. "If my punishment for not trusting you enough when I should have done it most is to not have you any-"

He lets out a short fast breath and detaches from the wall he was leaning on. "Stop it, Roza."

"But I… you…" I shake my head. "I don't-"

"Don't do that." he says softly and he covers the distance between us fast, his hand being the first that reaches me, finding its rest into the rounding of my lower back and he pulls me away from the counter I was leaning on, dragging me towards him, and then his body catches up and he glues it to mine, pressing me lightly onto the counter in the next second, his other palm rounding on my ribs, and his head is leaning over, his breath brushing on my cheek. I am already breathing heavily, just by feeling him on me, his scent being stronger than ever now, and I look down at his chest, trying to concentrate on the hem of his black T-shirt as the tears threaten to spill out.

"Dimitri…" I want to say something more but her stops me by rounding his fingers on my wrist, his warm skin on mine feeling amazing.

"Look at me." I shake my head no. I can't look him in the eyes. I know I'd burst in tears if I'd do.

His fingers slowly travel along my jawline and when they reach under my chin, he lifts my head, and I need to meet his eyes now, his deep warm eyes that I love so much, and to my surprise, I don't get crying, I just feel my body relaxing under him the more we look at each other.

"Dimitri…" I try once more to say it and this time he lets me say it. "If you'll still want me… I want to make it up for this. For hurting you. For being so stubborn and not being able to see past through all this. For not trusting you enough. For doubting you so bad. For thinking the worst of you. For not knowing you better than this. For…" and he again stops me, his thumb getting over my lips.

"Oh, Rose." he sighs. "But what you have seen that day…"

"God, Dimitri. _Why_ are you like this?" I ask laughing lightly and shaking my head. This man is unbelievable.

He frowns confused. "What do you mean?"

"You _shouldn't_ be understanding. You _shouldn't_ find reasons for me to have acted like that. You _shouldn't_ find excuses for me. You should be _mad_ at me. Upset. Angry. Something. You should _hate_ me."

He smiles and passes a hand through my hair. "But I don't. How could I?"

"Not even a little bit?" I ask suspiciously. Anybody would be still mad after hearing that much shit from someone.

He shakes his head. "No. Not at all." is his answer. Well, anybody except him.

I blink a couple of times and bite on my tongue. Come on, Rose. Stop crying that much, for the love of God.. "I am so-"

He smiles lightly again and stops me by leaning over and brushing his lips on mine, and my breath comes to a halt, and I wait to see what he is going to do next, and then, he kisses me, pushing me into the counter some more as I lean a little backward, his hand gets a hold of mine, entangling our fingers and I squeeze it hard, planning to never let go of it, and he responds to my gesture. I let out a little sigh and I kiss him back and get my other hand into his hair, pulling him even closer to me. And God, this kiss. It feels just like it's the first time we do this. In fact, every time I kiss him it feels like it's the first time. He makes me feel those butterflies every single time and my knees always feel weak when he's kissing me. At first, our lips still press on each other gently despite their closeness, taking their time with remembering each other into a small, sweet kiss. Then, he takes things further and gets his palm up on my cheek, tilting my head upward to give him more access and he intensifies the kiss, and soon enough our tongues meet, the faint remnants of some coffee on him making me even drunker on his sweet taste.

When we pull away, we are a little breathless than before and we stop to catch our breaths for a second. I watch him hovering above me and he eventually props his forehead on mine and our noses brush lightly, thing that making me smile. I bring my hand up and walk my fingers on his cheek, exploring the lines of his face some more.

"So, um...this means that you… you forgive me?"

"There is nothing for me to forgive, Roza."

I frown. "It _is,_ Dimitri."

"No, it isn't. That doesn't matter now."

And I pull away from under him and put a little distance between us. "But that thing _really_ matters, in fact. Very much. It matters _so much_." and he is willing to just let it pass like nothing happened. But I don't. I know I was so wrong.

He shakes his head. "What matters is that you finally trust me."

I scratch the back of my head, feeling a little embarrassed. "Yeah… It took me a while, no?"

He smiles and again comes closer to me. "Well, you needed some time to think, to cool off. What you have seen… that is not easy to get over…"

I laugh lightly. "Well, if that is the nice way of saying that I was a total bitch and I was completely wrong, then yes, you can say that."

"Oh, Roza." he says a little amused and takes me into his embrace, laying my head on his chest. And in this position we sit for some minutes, not saying anything, it's just me taking in his familiar scent and walking my fingers on his spine under his duster and him passing his fingers through my hair.

After a little while, he moves his palms on my shoulders and tries to pull me away. "No, don't." I squeeze him harder like trying to merge our bodies. "Don't let go."

He put his head on mine and soothes my hair again. "Oh milaya, I'm not going anywhere."

But it doesn't matter for me. I don't let go. I have been away from him for so long and I just want to listen to his heartbeat for as long as I can and hold him next to me. And eventually, we need to pull away, but not for now. I just tilt my head up and search for his eyes.

"But comrade?"

"What?"

I walk the tips of my fingers across his chest. "Do you forgive me for what I said? Can you do that? Maybe not now but one-"

He stops my movement and takes my hand into his, bringing it to his lips and kissing on my wrist. "Oh, Roza. Stop it with that. I did it a long time ago." his words lift this rock that was pressing on my chest for so long and I begin to cry. I can't hold it in anymore. What did I do to deserve him? He's so good to me. I _don't_ deserve him.

"Hey. Rose. Come on. Don't cry." he rounds his arms on me and pulls me closer, bringing my head to rest into the crook of his neck. "It's okay. Everything's okay now. _We_ are okay."

"I love you." I whisper in his ear.

"Me too, Roza." he says and kisses me again. And this one kiss ignites something in me. In him too as his hands start roaming on my lower body, gripping on my flesh and when they reach the back of my thighs he bends down a little and parts my legs, then picks me up. I round my arms on his neck and he sets me on the counter nearby, his lips never leaving mine and as soon as I get on the counter, his hands again start to roam all over my body, touching me everywhere.

I entangle my fingers into his hair and tilt my head back as he moves his kisses on my neck. "We should talk about it, no?" We need to set things right once and for all.

"Yeah, sure, of course." he totally agrees with me but still, he doesn't stop yet, instead, he starts sucking on my skin. And well, my hands mindlessly find their way under his duster and I push it down from his shoulder, it falling down at his feet. And well, if I took things further, so does he and he bites on my neck now.

"Dimitri..." I say chuckling.

"Yeah, you're right, but…" he comes and meets my lips once more and he growls lightly as I bite his lower lip. I am so asking for it. But he has more self-control than I do and eventually pulls away with another growl and then lets out a long breath. "Okay, fine. We'll stop." he says seemingly disappointed. Well, I am too. But we shouldn't be let ourselves driven by passion until we don't make things right completely, no? And he wants to detach himself from me, but I round my legs tighter on him and don't let him go yet.

"Wait. One more kiss please."

He smiles and leans down to meet my lips again and gosh, this kiss was so close to making us both give in but he pulls away just in time. Still a little breathless, he takes my hand into his and entangles our fingers, then brings it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on it. "Let's go home, Roza." Yeah, home. I would love that.

* * *

The whole way back to his apartment I don't let go of his hand. It seems unreal to me that I am actually here with him now and it feels like if I let go, even for a second, everything will turn to dust. And I don't want to feel that way again. The feeling of losing him is the worst thing I have ever felt.

I sit in the leather chair of the car, his duster on me, and God, there is nothing in this entire world comparing to his earthy scent, mixed with the smell of the leather. And it is now all over me, filling my nostrils. And we don't talk. We simply enjoy each other's silent presence, our fingers playing with each other's and it feels amazing. It's such a simple thing, but gosh, didn't I missed it like crazy?

Later on, the hours pass without either of us noticing and we are still sitting on the sofa, me cuddled into his embrace, both sipping hot chocolate, or kissing from time to time, or touching each other lightly, remembering each other's familiar features and indents of skin. And we talk. About what really happened that night and the following morning, about what I have talked with Nina's friend and how weird that thing was, and then when we were completely done with all that shit and over it, we switched our subjects to some more nicer ones, getting to talk about Lissa's wedding and her little angel, me getting super excited over an ultrasound she took lately and the fact that the baby is kicking, we talk about his family and how things are going for them all, talk about my family too and their little interrogatory from earlier that day, and about the other things we did while we were apart.

At some point along the night, we finally fell asleep. Or at least I know I fell asleep first, being unable to keep my eyes open for longer. And I must say that I was reticent about going to sleep last night, being afraid that it was all just a dream and I really didn't want to wake up from it. Everything was finally right and I didn't want to lose that. But when I open my eyes, he is still here. Along the night, I somehow ended up completely on him, as we didn't bother to get to bed and fell asleep on the sofa. I can feel the warmth passing from his body on mine and my head lifts and sinks slowly, along with his chest. After so long, I feel complete again.

I raise my head and turn it into Dimitri's direction, propping my chin on his chest and watch him. He is already awake and he is focused on playing with one of my strands, encircling it on his finger and making curls out of it, giving to that action all of his attention, stopping just for a second to give me a glance. He still has that sleepy face on, maybe he didn't wake up long before me, and this just makes him look even cuter.

"Mornin' comrade." I say, and a silly smile appears on his face. The first time I called him like this he told me that I was too stereotypical, but over time it became my word of endearment for him. Only mine. Just like he is the only one calling me Roza.

In response, he smiles and lifts his head to place a little kiss on my nose. His smile still lingers into his eyes as he looks back at me, his deep chocolate pools I want to drown myself into every single day for the rest of my life. I simply love the familiarity of his features. It feels like we haven't even been apart from each other. I must look funny as I study him into the bright morning light that fills the living room now, because he looks back at me questioningly.

But something doesn't seem as familiar. It's a little thing, but still. "You cut your hair." I state but it comes out more like a question, even though I have come to a conclusion. It looks a little shorter than usual if I really think about it.

"Yeah." He says and passes a hand through his hair. I do the same and it is as silky as I remember. Then, I move my hand down on his cheek and pass my thumb over the short hairs from his one-day stuble. "You don't like it?" he asks concerned. I can't help just to smile. It's not like this would be a big change, it is a little shorter than usual, but still, it seems that the hair falls now differently around his face.

"It's not that." I lift my head off him completely and analyze him some more. "In fact, I just can't decide which one suits you better." I say playing with a couple of his strands. "I don't know, this haircut makes you seem, younger I guess." and it really does, and when he smiles, he looks even younger. Yeah, he is still the most handsome man I have ever seen, long hair or shorter.

I try to set free my other arm from between us because it starts to feel numb, so I change my position a little. And I end up with something pressing on my thigh.

"Comrade, what is that?"

"What?"

I take my hand down, in between us and place my hand over his morning erection. "This. " I say as innocently as I can. "Did you dream something nice, comrade?" I ask biting my lips.

"Roza." he says tilting his head a little and a naughty smile appears on his lips.

"Yeah?" I ask and grab him, rounding my fingers on him. He growls in response, his palms getting a hold of my hips and so the things are set in motion. After a whole night of setting things right, this morning some girl feels playful. I missed his touches so much and I need to feel his hands roam all over my body. Plus that we didn't get to finish what we started back at my apartment, and why not do it now?

 **DPOV begins**

She gets up to her feet and goes towards the table. What is she doing? I try to sit up too but she turns around and pushes me back into the backrest of the sofa as I reached halfway up.

"Stay there." she commands as her lips walk up on my cheek, and then she pulls away and begins to search for something on her phone. Does she need to call someone all of a sudden or what? When she puts the phone back on the table, a song begins to play from the stereo and a playful smile appears on her face. "And, enjoy." she says lastly and begins to move her body on the rhythm of the song, passing a hand through her dark locks. I take a more comfortable position, halfway laying on the sofa and watch her move, my member already wanting to get out of my pants just at the thought of what is coming next. Isn't she spontaneous? I love this thing about her.

She comes closer and turns her back to me and as she is unzipping her jeans, she sways her perfectly round ass into a mesmerizing move in front of me. I reach my hands forward and cup her full cheeks, squeezing the soft flesh through the material of her pants. God, I forgot how good it felt to feel her.

"Na-ah." she says chuckling and breaks contact, leaving me lusting for so much more. "Not yet, comrade." and she turns around again and gets rid of her jeans. I just hope that she gets rid of the rest of her clothes fast. I can't wait for long. And this song that is playing on the background is not helping my cause either.

Next, she reaches under her T-shirt and gets off her bra, letting her peaks pierce through the thin material of the T-shirt, and as she is still dancing seductively, she dangles her bra in front of me, doing what she loves so much to do, to tease me, and as I reach my hand towards it she pulls it away and with a smile she lets it fall on the floor. When it comes to her underpants, she is taking them off painfully slow, not letting me see much of her as she does that, and to my surprise, she throws them in my direction. I catch them and bury my nose into the soft lacy material. Her scent is driving me insane and I so much want a taste of her now.

She is now dressed in only her T-shirt, but there is not much to see, as it is big and it covers the most important parts of her amazing body. She licks her full lips and then, slowly, she grabs the edges of her T-shirt and as her hips move left and right she turns around and drags it up, revealing her bare posterior. Then, a second later, she lets it drop. This is not fair. But hey, I guess it is called strip _tease_ for a reason, no? But then she pulls it up again slowly, turning to one side now, but it's still not enough, revealing only her hip. Then, she repeats the move, on the other side. She is such a teaser and she loves doing this to me. But I just want to go to her and rip that T-shirt off her myself. But finally, she ends my torture and takes off her T-shirt completely, dropping it on the floor next to her, then she turns around, completely uncovered, biting her lip and undulates her body on the sound of music some more.

Gosh, I think that my zipper is going to crack soon and I didn't even touch her. The power this woman has over me is unbelievable. And this view, gosh. She is more beautiful than I remember. All her curves seem more fuller and it's like she's glowing, that beautiful she is right now. Just like always, in fact. I want to make love to her all day long, making up to all the time we have been apart. I want to hear her scream my name over and over again today.

She comes to me, kneeling on the sofa right next to me, and her fingers move along my zipper, pulling it down painfully slow, her eyes never leaving mine, and then, as slow as before, she slips her hand into my pants, a teasing smile on her face, and she rounds her fingers on me and moves her hand up and down a little, being so close to making me lose my mind already, but she soon stops and takes back her hand, then drags my pants down and mounts she on me. And even though there is still a layer of material between us I can feel her hotness pressing on me and the ecstasy begins to kick in harder.

 **DPOV ends**

I pass my hands through his hair and pull him closer to me and I let him kiss on my neck as I get my fingers under his T-shirt and walk them on his abs, then I grab the hems of the T-shirt and take it off him. I lightly glue my front to his, our hot skins making contact. "Did you like that?" I whisper in his ear.

"It took you too long." he responds supposedly bothered and I laugh.

His eyes shot down on my moving chest. Yup, he is still easily distracted by them. I wiggle myself a little left and right, just to tease him some more and his eyes follow. And as he already directed his attention to my breasts, he cups them and begins to hungrily massage my sensitive skin as his mouth comes closer to my neck and he kisses on my skin. All my muscles contract under his touch and I lean backward to give him more access to my body, and soon enough, he takes control over me, his palms moving down on my body and light moans escape my mouth as he moves his mouth further on my body and starts to nip on my peaks and I begin to rock my hips back and forth on him, pressing myself on his rock hard manhood. And he keeps on grunting at my every move, obviously displeased by the layer of fabric between us. I am too, don't worry. I won't prolong this suffering any longer for any of us.

I get my hands down on him and pull his underwear down, revealing him. I take his erection into my hand and slowly move up and down on him, making him moan. Hearing him like this is messing with my brain so fucking much. And this is just the beginning. I scoop myself backward on his thighs so that I can bend properly and get my mouth close to him, but I don't get further yet. Before doing what I am planning to do, I take a look at him, just to make sure he knows what's coming next too, and I can clearly read the anticipation in his eyes. He is already breathing heavily and he's watching me with so much lust, waiting for me to go further. I grin satisfied and not taking my eyes off him, I encircle his tip with my mouth and suck lightly, pulling my cheeks in, just to intensify the sensation. He gasps and I hear a creak as he fists his palms on the leather of the sofa, trying to hold on to something. Good God, keep me steady, cause I may come soon just by seeing him like this. I circle my tongue around him and he grunts loudly at every move of my tongue on him. I go further and take him into my mouth and walk his tip on the inside of my cheek as my hand is still moving up and down on him and his hips shot forward, him getting more than half of his member inside my mouth, taking me a little by surprise. Wow, someone can't wait. But no matter how much I would love to take him wholly in my mouth and make him come, the position I am in is way too uncomfortable (I haven't thought things completely, I was too eager to feel him) and I may end up falling on the floor, getting to fuck up everything. And I so don't want to ruin this thing. It would be embarrassing as hell. And I am a little selfish too, I must be honest. I could scoop down on the floor and finish the job, but I want to get some too. And I want it right now. So, sorry comrade, but not now. I'll surely make it up to him later.

So, I resume to something else. I lift myself and get closer to him again. His hands get now in my hair and he starts to tug on it as my hand didn't stop moving up and down on him and with my thumb I start drawing circles around his tip, feeling him already beginning to spill. As I can't wait for too long either, I go even further and I begin to rub myself on him, going all the way up and then down, making all my juices cover him, preparing things for later. But someone is way more impatient than I am and he stops me when I reach his tip again, gets a good grip on my hips and directs himself inside me by pulling me down. This loud sigh-moan mix escapes my lips as my walls accommodate themselves to his wonderful size. God, it's been so long. I steady myself with my hands on his chest and start rocking my body back and forth on him.

 _"Fuck_ , Roza" he says rounding his palms on my ribs and then begins to murmur something in Russian. I don't know what he is saying, but he just swore, and by the expression on his face, it can only be something good. I make the circles that I am moving into ampler and with a moan, he tilts his head back and continues praising me in his language. God, I love bringing him so much pleasure.

And I begin to move faster, intensifying the friction between us. His hands get a good hold on my hips, stroking them as he starts to sway too, matching my pace and meeting me halfway, this way managing to reach good points in me. I don't get my eyes off him and his face is a mask of pure pleasure, his mouth slightly open, whispering my name now as we both reach our peaks slowly but surely. And soon, he digs his fingers hard into my hips as he comes, his warm liquid filling my insides and the sexual tension that has been building up inside me finds its release too and I begin to purr his name as my whole body curves in little spasm.

When I get back to earth again, I place my forehead on his shoulder to catch my breath. He encircles his hands around me and pulls me closer, gluing completely our sweaty skins and it feels like I am melting into him.

"I missed you so much." I say next to his ear and kiss his temple while walking my fingers across his jaw.

He turns his head, gets my hair out of the way and places some kisses on the side of my neck. "Me too, milaya."

I turn my head lightly, giving him more access to my neck to walk his lips on, and I rest my nose into the crook of his neck for a second, filling my lungs with his cologne. Then I turn my head a little more, getting my mouth closer to his ear and whisper: "You wanna go again?"

He stops mid kiss and I feel his lips on my neck, turning into a smile. "Do you even have to ask?" he says, his hands travelling down on my body and I chuckle as he's lightly tickling me.

"Dimitri, stop that." I try to push his hand away still chuckling and he eventually stops after some more seconds of playing around, then turns us around, laying me on my back and he kisses me on the lips. He lifts then for a second to pull up his jeans and all and then picks me up, attaching my body on his, and takes me towards the bedroom.

We enter the room and as he carries me to the bed, I get a little flashback of that morning, only for a split of a second and I send that thought far, far away, exactly where it should be. I won't let that thing affect me ever again. There are so many other wonderful things that happened between us into this room and that event won't ever be able to cast its shadow on them.

"Rose, you're okay?" he stops just beside the bed and watches me concerned.

I swear that nothing gets past him. He picks up on everything that might upset me. I smile at him and kiss his lips once more. "Of course I am." and I really feel no bad things right now. All I can feel is the love for him.

His fingers trace the line of my spine and stop just on my lower back. "Are you sure? We don't have to-"

I place my thumb on his lips to make him stop. "I am sure, Dimitri. Everything is good." but he spends some more seconds watching me still seeming concerned. "For real, Dimitri. There's nothing wrong." but still, he doesn't let go of it that easily. I pout. "Come on, comrade. I am starting to get cold here. I think you forgot that I am completely naked."

He chuckles. "Oh, my bad. How could I forget about that?" he says amused and lays me on my back in bed, then comes above me, letting his weight on me. His hand gets a hold of my hip, his fingers lightly digging into my skin as his lips are kissing my shoulder. "You're really good being in here, Roza?" he asks one more time.

I round my leg on his side body, pulling him closer to me and get a hold of his cheeks, making him look me in the eyes. "I am, Dimitri. I feel wonderful in here, with you, in our bed. Okay?"

He smiles, nodding, then presses our lips together.

* * *

I lay in bed and think about all the times I have been into this place and I took it for granted, not appreciating what I had back then. And I really missed being here in this very spot, the one next to Dimitri. And too bad that he's not here right now.

But soon, the door opens and I move my attention from the ceiling to my man, who is entering the room, and, getting up to one side, I prop my head on my hand and watch him moving as he comes back in bed. He gets on the bed on all his fours, one hand on each side of my body, and he slowly kisses his way up on me, starting from my hip, getting up on my ribs, making goosebumps appear across my skin, tickling me slowly as he ascends further, getting to my shoulder, and then to my lips. As our skins make contact, I let out a small sigh.

He pulls away and watches me for a second. I get closer to him for another kiss but he pulls his lips away from my reach. "First tell me what's the matter?" he asks laying next to me and pulling me on him.

"There's nothing. I am fine." I say walking my fingers across his collarbone and he lifts his eyebrows in disbelief, urging me to tell him what is wrong. And there is nothing wrong going on. "I was just thinking that…"

He takes my hand into his, stopping my movement. "That what?"

I rest my head into the crook of his neck and entangle my fingers with his. "That I'm so sorry, Dimitri."

He sighs lightly and caresses my hair. "We already talked about this, Roza." yes, we did. But I still can't help feeling bad for what I have said and done.

"I know but-"

"Rose. Come on. I am not mad at you."

"Could you ever forgive me?"

"I don't have anything to forgive you for. How many times do you want me to tell you that?"

"For how many times it will take you to understand that there is. You do have something to forgive me for, Dimitri. So many reasons, in fact. I did you wrong. I should have listened to you. I-"

"It's _not_ your fault. What you saw..."

"Not that." I lift my head off and fully meet his warm eyes. "It _is_ my fault, Dimitri. I should have trusted you from the first second. I should have seen past those things. I should have known…" I pass my fingers across his hairline. "I should have known you better than this."

"Rose. You saw what you saw and-" he smiles lightly. "I don't blame you for that, you get it?"

"Yes but… the things I said…" I bite my tongue as I remember the bitterness in my words that day. "I was mean. What I said about you was horrible. Didn't those upset you?" he shakes his head, lying to me. My words would have upset anyone. "Not even a little bit?" and this time he shrugs. "See? They _did_ upset you, no matter how much you try to tell me they didn't. I knew it. And I am a horrible person." I get up to my butt and drag my knees up to my chest, rounding my arms on them.

He gets up too and puts some hair behind my ear. "Hey. Stop that."

"Why? Because it is the truth. And still, you say you are not upset with me."

"Yes. I am not upset anymore."

"Fine. But you _were_."

He smiles lightly and brings his fingers under my chin, lifting it. "Yes, Rose. I was upset. But not on you. I was mad at everything that was happening. At how she managed to take you away from me. At how I was unable to do anything to make things right. At how I was unable to make you see the truth."

"Hey, _that_ is _so_ not your fault. You tried. I was the one who didn't want to listen."

He smiles, shaking his head. "We'll never get to an end if we keep on going on like this, Rose." and well, he's kind of right. "Look. What if we do something?"

"Something like?"

"Something like… it's no one's fault for what happened."

"Ooooh, but it _is_ someone's fault." we'll get to that subject later for sure. That bitch won't go away that easily.

"Yes, it is. And she got her punishment for that." and I want to ask him what he is talking about but he just continues to speak, not giving me the chance to do so. "But it is not _our_ fault. Not yours, not mine. There is no one to blame between you and me. Okay?"

I smile. "Okay." I can live with this. And this decision makes me feel lighter. "But there is one more thing we need to do."

"What?"

"Let's put it behind us. Completely. No more games, no more Tasha, no more anything." I don't want to spend another second being bitter about it, to stop myself from being happy next to him. I don't want to give her more satisfaction by knowing that she got to me somehow. And in this second I decide that I don't want to deal with her anymore. I won't give her another second of my time. From now on, she doesn't exist for me anymore. " Let's just be _us_. To go back to the old us. I want to stop the games. Stop all that shit. Stop letting people play me into thinking you are so much less than you really are. Stop letting people bring out the worst in me. Stop everything. Let's just be us and be happy together."

And this beautiful smile spreads on his lips as he nods. "I would love that, Rose."

* * *

I get up the next morning way earlier than I usually do and I slowly slip out of Dimitri's embrace, letting him sleep some more, I put on his T-shirt and head to the kitchen. And I just open the fridge and get the idea to cook him something, and now, half an hour later, I am sitting next to the oven, waiting for my cupcakes to get baked and I fill my time with reading something until they'll be done and I can finally go and wake Dimitri up.

 _"You're preachin' again, Charlie," he grinned, "and this ain't even church."_

 _Charlie Flagg turned, a little embarrassed. "Hello, Rounder. I didn't go to preach, but he asked me and I told him."_

 _Rounder Pike laid a rough hand on Flagg's shoulder. "You're fartin' against the wind, Charlie. We've got used to government money like a kid gets used to candy. Most people wouldn't quit takin' it now. Them as did would go right on payin' the same old taxes and not get nothin' back. We're like a woman that's been talked into a little taste of sin and found out she likes it. You'd just as well join the crowd. You're payin' the freight anyway."_

 _"Never."_

 _"Never is an awful long time." Pike gripped Flagg's shoulder, then walked on into the co-"_

And out of nowhere, I feel a pair of hands rounding on my waist from behind me, and I was way too absorbed my by reading to notice that there was someone who has entered the kitchen and well, I let out a high pitched squeal in surprise. In response, he chuckles and rests his head on my shoulder, then kisses on my neck.

I turn my head to look at him. "Gosh, you scared me, Dimitri." again. "You're so sneaky. I didn't hear you coming." and I turn around to face him, but it is like he is not even hearing me speak. Instead, he is looking at me dreamily, a slight smile on his lips. "What happened?"

"I missed this sight."

I frown. "What sight? The sun hasn't risen up yet."

His smile widens. "Not that sight."

"I don't get it, comrade."

"The sight of you in the mornings, Roza. Messy hair, still sleepy, dressed only…" and he stops for a second to get his palm under my T-shirt, his fingers finding the material of my panties and he gets his fingers underneath them, tracing the line of my ass, and he smiles. " _almost_ only into my clothes, smiling, being in here and cooking breakfast and…" he looks down at what I am holding into my hand. " _Reading_?" He asks amused and looks back at me, an eyebrow lifted. "What are you reading?"

In a second, I hide the book behind my back and shake my head. "Nothing." I shrug. "Just a thing I found."

"Rose..." he says smiling, picking up on something. "Show me what you're reading."

I shake my head no. He reaches his hand behind me and almost snatches the book from me, but I manage to get away from him and so, we get running around the kitchen, him following me everywhere I try to get away. But finally, I end up into a corner of the living room, breathless from all that laughing and running, a place I cannot escape now as he is just in front of me, blocking all the ways of access for me to get out of there. I know I am defeated, but I still keep the book behind my back. He leans forward trying to get it and I try to distract him by pressing my lips on his and to my satisfaction, it works. But after some seconds, he pulls away smiling.

"No, that won't work this time."

I give him a playful smile. "Are you sure?" and I lean forward to kiss him once more, making the kiss more passionate this time, but still, he resists my charms and eventually pulls away and in a moment of distraction, he snatches the book from me. "Hey! Give that back!" I pout disappointed.

But the damage is already done. He takes a look at its cover and smiles. "So there it was. You had it. I was wondering where it disappeared."

"Well, yeah… It was along my things when Lissa and Christian got them for me." I shrug. "And I… just read it. Sorry that I took it… maybe you were reading it…"

"No. I have finished it once. You'll see. I'll bet you'll like it. It's a good pick."

"Oh, but I already finished it. This is the second time I am reading it."

"Really?" he gets surprised.

"Mhm. I was just…" and maybe I shouldn't say it out loud.

"Just what?"

"Nothing."

"Roza…"

"It's stupid."

"Hey. Nothing it's stupid as long as it matters to you."

I smile. "Well, I started reading it to feel… closer to you somehow…"

His lips turn into a sad smile. "Oh, Roza." he says rounding his arms on me and kissing my forehead. And as I enjoy his hug, I sense that something's wrong. My nose picks it in fact.

"Hey, comrade?"

"What?"

"Do you smell that?"

"What?"

I lift my head off his chest and take a good sniff. "It smells like… Shit! It smells like burnt!" I immediately shot out of the living room and rush towards the oven to free my cupcakes. But it is too late. They are ruined. I put the baking tray on the counter and turn around to see Dimitri entering the kitchen too. I squint my eyes at him and cross my hands over my chest. "This is all your fault. If you wouldn't have chased me around the apartment the cupcakes wouldn't have gotten burnt."

And with an amused face, he comes to me. "We can make others. Together."

"No, we can't. We don't have enough ingredients."

"So let's go get some."

* * *

And not long after that, we are both in the car, heading towards the supermarket. But we don't get there because all of a sudden, Dimitri pulls up on the side of the road.

"What happened? Why did we stop? Is there something wrong with the car?" He turns my way, smiling, and puts some of my strands behind my ear, but doesn't respond to any of my questions. "Hey, Dimitri." I wiggle my hand in front of his eyes. "What's the matter? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Everything is perfect."

I frown. "Then..why did you stop here?"

"I was thinking about something."

"And that required you to pull over?"

"Mhm." he says nodding.

" _And_ you were thinking about something like…?" why isn't he telling it to me already?

"Like…what would you say if we go away for a couple of days?"

"Go away where?"

He shrugs. "It doesn't matter. Anywhere you want."

"But why?"

"Just like that. With no reason at all. Let's go somewhere where we can be just the two of us."

 _Wow_. Mister spontaneity came in town. I am the one who usually comes up with ideas like this but I must admit that this thing sounds good. A little alone time away from this town might do us good.

"But what about the office?"

"Leave that. Nothing will get on fire for a couple of days."

And a smile spreads across my lips. "Fine. Let's go pack then."

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"No packing. Let's go away right now." double wow.

I chuckle at this idea. "Fine. Why not? Let's go." as long as I am with him I don't really care about anything else.

He takes my hand into his and kisses the inside of it, his eyes glowing. "Do you have any ideas where to head?"

"Nah, comrade. Just drive for now. We'll decide on a destination later."


	55. Chapter 55

**Hiiiii!**

 **Today I kind of felt the need to write some Romitri fluff because why not? After all that happened, I wanted to write something cute. And I hope you'll enjoy it :)**

 **PrincessDOOM, I guess you were talking about Nina and not Tina, right? If so, you'll soon enough find out what happened with her.**

 **And dear guest, please do give me some advice on how I could do that thing with improving grammar wise, if you can. I really want to improve myself and my writing and if you have any suggestions that would help me do so, feel free to share them, please. As someone around here recommended me, I am already using grammarly as a way of correcting some of my mistakes. If there is something else that colud help me, I am open to suggestions.**

* * *

"Oh, comrade. I feel like we have just robbed a bank and we are now on the run." I say as he follows me around a Forever 21 while I decide on what clothes to pick, trying to get some suitable clothes for our little escapade, as he has already finished doing that, but it is quite hard for me to do so as I have no idea where we are going, but hell, it's shopping time. Who would say no to that? "You know? Just like they do in movies, and now we need to get a makeover and now we're here looking for completely different clothes? Oh! I know. What if we pretend we're spies?" I continue my little fantasy as I take a look at some blouses, and then, an idea pops in my head. "Hey," I say turning to face him.

And as he sees me, he already smiles. "What?" he asks amused. He knows I am thinking about some shit.

"What if I'd change my hair color? Like, you know they usually do that in movies."

The smile on his lips widens. "Let's don't do that."

"Why? Don't you think it would look good on me?"

"It's not that. But I just like you how you already are. Why change something that's already perfect?"

Aw, that's so sweet. "Fine. But what about a wig? Some temporary thing. Just imagine me blonde." and after I scan my surroundings to make sure that there's no one close enough to see or hear us, I get closer to him and walk my fingers along his chest, biting my bottom lip. "Would you like that, comrade?"

He studies me for a second and then takes one of my strands and circles it on his finger. "I think I'll stick to brunettes." and I chuckle.

"Fine, as you wish." and I make myself busy with looking at some accessories. "But hey. What about this?" I say turning to face him, a big black floppy felt hat on my head, matched with a pair of glasses. "Do I still look recognizable?"

And he still smiles at my silliness. "Don't you think it's too cold outside to wear that? Isn't that hat for the summer?" and well, he's right.

I puff and take them both off. "You know, you're quite a party pooper with all your logic."

"Hey, what about this?" he asks all of a sudden and I excitedly turn around to see what he has found for getting undercover, being happy that he's finally playing my little game. But what he is showing me is unexpected. He is holding a black piece of lingerie, made entirely of lace. And I must admit that he picked a very nice model. It is a body that has a deep V neck that ends somewhere near the solar plexus, it has straps and the bottom is thong-like, the piece of clothing being built just so that it would hide enough of the body, as the lace is not see-through, but still, it doesn't leave much to the imagination. Impressive, comrade.

I take one more look at what is hanging on that hanger and then look at him, seeing his expression. "Oh, you would _so_ like that, no?" I ask crossing my arms over my chest and raising an eyebrow.

And he shrugs lightly, trying to pretend that he wouldn't enjoy seeing me wearing that. But he didn't show it to me without any reason, no? "Well, as a spy, you might need to seduce someone to get some information or something, no?" he tries to sound as innocently as possible as he uses my game against me.

I take the hanger from him and inspect the body on it. "Hm...I don't know what to say..." I pretend I am not enjoying the idea at all, just to tease him a little. "You know what would work better than this?"

"What?" he asks and I swear I can hear the faint disappointment in his voice.

"This…" I smile playfully. "but on red." and his eyes get glowing again and he reciprocates the smile.

* * *

And we drive for some more hours and spontaneously decide to stop at a beach house we once saw while on road and both kind of got an inexplicable thing for, the house being situated just at the outskirts of Manhattan. And it is the perfect place to be away from everything and everyone, as the beach house that Dimitri has rented on spot and the others around there too are completely empty at this time of the year. The whole area is empty, Dimitri and I being the only ones around. No normal person would go to the beachside in November, no? But well, we do. And we love each second of it.

And we have spent the last five days in here, into this amazing house made mostly of wood and glass, with ceiling to floor windows and vaporous curtains, enjoying our little holiday, doing mostly nothing but being together, and sometimes deciding to leave the enormous, comfy and warm bed to go cook something when we were on the verge of starving, or to take a long walk in the evenings next to the water. I must admit that it was kind of a chilly period to be spent at the beachside, but it was totally worth it, for the calmness that the water around brings, for the amazing sunsets that we watched together, for the whole time we spent together into each other's embrace, for all the kisses, for all the words and many other beautiful memories that will remain in between these four walls, known only by us.

I now get out of the bathroom and sit on the bed, spreading my legs in front of me and leaning my back on the bed frame, watching the light making its way into the room through the open windows, sitting next to Dimitri, who is laying on his belly. When the mattress sinks completely under my weight, he opens his eyes and watches me with a seemingly upset glance. Whoopsies, maybe I wasn't as smooth as I initially intended. Or I am just misinterpreting things as he still has a sleepy pouty face on. And I do have that face too. I swear that we have slept so much these past days. Or at least I did that. I don't know why, but I am starting to feel more tired with each passing day.

He moves from his place and after he kisses the hand that was resting on my lap, he places himself on my thighs and I start playing with his hair as his fingers draw circles on my knee. "Do we really have to go back?" he asks into a roughish voice and I chuckle.

"Well, yes, we do, Mister lazy pants."

And I fill the short moment of silence that comes next with a chuckle.

"What's funny?"

"How come you are the one who doesn't want to leave? You know? It's funny because _you_ were the one who was usually dragging me back home. It's even funnier that I am now the voice of reason." and at this we both laugh. Yeah, that's a crazy idea.

He shrugs. "I just like it in here, don't you?"

"I do like it too. Very much. I am completely in love with this house and we'll surely come back here some more. And I like it especially with you around."

"So, what do you say if we stay a little longer?"

I chuckle at his little persuasion. "Oh, like it would be that hard for you to convince me to remain here a little longer. But you know, you have a business to get back to from what I remember."

He sighs and tilts his head to look at me. "Yeah, I know. But they're managing things just fine." and he starts playing with my fingers, taking each of them and bringing them to his lips, placing a little kiss on their tips.

"Well, I never doubted that. But still, they need their boss back, no? You can't let them run wild for too long. Who knows? Maybe they'll decide they don't need you anymore as they're managing so well by their own, no?"

" _Well,_ who is a party pooper now with her logic, huh?" he asks me and I shrug, smiling. "But will you… come back with me?"

"Um, yes I am. What? Do you plan on leaving me here?"

"No, Rose. I am talking about going back to the office with me."

"Oh. I don't know. Do you still need a secretary around to torture?"

He squints his eyes. "I never tortured you."

"Fine, I wouldn't call it torture. Maybe pissing her off to the point of wanting to throw herself out the window works better."

He lifts an eyebrow. " _Really_?"

"Mhm, comrade. That's the truth."

He gets up and comes closer to me. "What about you?"

"What did I do except doing my job? I was an exemplary employee." I try to seem extremely innocent but I can't hide the amusement in my voice.

He leans forward, his hands resting on each side of my body, and he brushes his lips along my cheek, and then stops next to my ear. "You were driving me insane. Every single day, Roza." he says and bites on my earlobe, making my body shiver lightly.

"Oh, don't say it like that, comrade. You _liked_ it."

He chuckles. "I did. I still do."

"Really?"

"Mhm."

"Well, then," I stop for a second to kiss him lightly. "I am going to make some coffee." I get my tone to a very serious one.

"Coffee?" he asks in disbelief.

"Yeah, coffee. You want some?" I continue my game, trying to defuse him some more.

He pulls away, making me some space to get out of the bed. "Yes, please." oh, he gave up way too easily.

"Well, comrade, when you'll feel ready to follow, I'm waiting for you to come around the kitchen and find what I'm wearing underneath my T-shirt." I say as I get further away from him, then, when I reach the door, I turn around to watch him and I see this playful smile spreading on his lips. He so likes it when I am teasing him.

"Yeah? And what are you wearing underneath?"

I shrug. "What would you like me to wear underneath?"

"Nothing?"

I chuckle. "Well, what I am wearing now, I guess you'll like it more."

"Are you sure? Because nothing compares to you being naked." he casually says propping himself to one side on the bed, and his words make me blush a little, but I don't have the time to feel shy right now.

"Well, let's see." I say and slowly lift the hem of the T-shirt I am dressed into and reveal a small piece of bloody red lace. His eyes widen and he gets up on his butt. I surely caught his attention with this. "What do you say about that?" I continue to lift the material until it reaches my hip, his eyes following my movement, then I let it drop, and his eyes move back up, meeting mine.

"I was starting to wonder when you'll wear that."

"Well, the longer the waiting the greater the pleasure when you finally see it, no?" I say and by bringing my hand behind my back I find the doorknob of the door, and slowly open the door behind me wider.

"Oh, yes. I totally agree." he says getting up from the bed and heading my way. But I let him take only two steps and then I fully open the door and rush out the room. And behind me, I hear him laughing. "Oh, Roza. You won't be able to run away from me now. I waited to see you wearing that for way too long now."

"Well, too bad for you. You're fooling yourself if you think you can catch me, comrade." I shout out of the living room. And I don't know where he is now, but this house is pretty big and we have plenty of space to run around. Let the chasing begin. But just when I want to get out of the other door of the room, he appears in front of me out of nowhere. How come he got here so fast? And how he knew I would head this way? I try to run the other way but he catches me by my wrist and pulls me back, gluing me to the nearest wall.

"You know we can do this the nice way or not, no?"

I round my hands on his neck and pull him closer to me, his hands already making their way under my T-shirt. He's so damn impatient. "You know I like it rough, Dimitri." I faintly say into his ear but it is way more than enough to make him growl and he picks me up, starting to lick and suck on my neck as his hands push my T-shirt upward.

* * *

"Oh, shit. Do you feel that smell, Dimitri?" I ask as soon as I enter his office one morning after we got back to our previous lives.

"What smell?"

"That… I don't know. It smells really bad." I say scanning the room for the source of that unbearable smell. It makes my stomach twist, that strong it is.

"It only smells like that aromatherapy thing you insisted we buy last week, you remember? You said it would be nice if we would put it in here."

"Yeah, I remember. But now it smells like complete shit." and my nose can't take it anymore and so does my stomach and I rush out the office and into the bathroom, kneeling on the cold tiles and puke my guts out.

Dimitri soon enters the room too and gathers my hair from around my face and shoulders, and crouches next to me, soothing my back as I continue to fill the toilet with bile now, until I finally stop. "What's the matter? Are you okay?" he asks concerned and hands me a towel to wipe my mouth.

"No, I'm fine. Nothing too bad. It's just that that smell was horrible. It made me sick to my stomach."

"But you liked it last week."

"I know. But it seems different now. It's too strong."

"Maybe you should see a doctor, Rose. You don't seem to feel quite well these days."

"That's not true."

He throws me that look that he knows better. "You are barely eating a thing lately and it's the second time you throw up this week."

"Well, yeah, but just because I ate that shit. In rest, I am completely fine."

"I still think you should go. Maybe there's something wrong with your stomach."

"But there's nothing wrong with my stomach. You know that I told you that thing that day just because…" and my words stop into my throat by remembering that day when I couldn't tell him I was pregnant, and by remembering the kind words he has told me when I finally told him everything about that day.

And he smiles understandingly, and then kisses my forehead. "I know, Roza. Don't think about that now. But still, I would like for you to go and see if there's something wrong."

"Fine. If it makes you feel better, I will go, I promise." But I'll go only if things get worse, I omit to add. I just so don't like doctors and a visit to the hospital doesn't sound that pleasant to me.

"It would, Roza." he says as he helps me get up. "Now let's go find you a seat and some water."

* * *

And one week later, exactly on the first of December, after some more puking and some more of Dimitri insisting on me going to the doctor's office, I go to the doctor's office without any further protesting. What can you do? This man always gets things his way. But I must admit that I am curious too about why is this thing happening all of a sudden and it doesn't go away.

And the only verdict that the doctor gives to me after he gets the results of my blood work and some other stuff, is this: "Congratulations, Miss Hathaway!"

"Why are you congratulating me? Is it for not dying already or what? Is it that bad?"

The doctor chuckles. "You're a funny one I see. No, Miss. You're not dying at all. You're perfectly fine."

"Well, I wouldn't jump to conclusions. There is something inside me that's making me feel sick."

"Oh, yes, there definitely is."

"Oh, shit." so Dimitri was right. Maybe I caught some serious germs.

"But it's not a bad thing."

"I am confused. What could be inside me that would make me feel like shit but still is something good?"

And he chuckles again. Wow, am I that funny? "Oh, you women are so funny when you don't get it."

"When we don't get what?"

"That you're pregnant, Miss Hathaway."

* * *

Oh, come on, comrade. Answer your damn phone already! It's the second time I call him and the phone is still ringing. And just when I want to give up once again, I hear his voice from the other end.

"Hey, Rose. Sorry, but I was into a meeting."

"Oh, sorry if I interrupted anything."

"It's okay. We're taking a break. What's the matter?"

"Just tell me this. How much longer will your meeting take?"

"I don't know. We just started. Why?"

I puff disappointed and start pacing through the waiting room. "Then, how fast can you get to the hospital after that ends? Give me an approximate time."

"Why? Is there something wrong with you? Are you feeling bad, Roza?"

"What? No… I just… Can you just please come here as soon as the meeting ends? I'll wait for you." I don't want to tell him this news on the phone. Plus, I have one more little surprise for him.

"What? You want me to be here while you're there alone and you're not telling me what's wrong? Stay there. I'll be coming in five."

"You don't have to hurry, Dimitri I-" I try to say lastly but he is long gone. Oh, crap. I hope I didn't scare him that much, but I didn't want to spoil my surprise for him. And the road from the office here is at least ten minutes long. Gosh, Dimitri, please don't do anything stupid. I try to call him again but he doesn't respond, of course, as he is probably too busy rushing down the streets. I am supposed to be the foolish one, not him.

* * *

And as he promised, five minutes later, he gets here and spots me immediately into the waiting room, and comes to me, breathing heavily. Wow, I scared him quite bad with my call. But I swear that wasn't my intention. I was just trying to be as cryptically as possible as I know I have a big mouth and I would have probably fucked everything up in my excitement.

He crouches in front of my chair and takes my hands into his, not even giving me a chance to sit up. "Roza, what happened? Are you fine?"

"Yes, I am. You got worried for nothing. I tried to tell you but you weren't listening to me." I scold him.

He gives me a confused look. "Then why did you asked me to come here?"

"Well, let's get out of here and we'll talk about it, okay?"

"Okaaay..." he says still confused but follows me out on the hallway anyway.

And as soon as we are alone, I hand him an envelope with some papers.

"What's this?"

"Well, you can call it your Christmas gift." I say smiling.

"Rose, Christmas is much later, you know that, no?"

I squint my eyes at him. "Oh, my bad, I forgot." I say rolling my eyes. "Now can you please just open that envelope anyway?"

He does and gets a stack of tests out of it.

"Rose, really now. What are these? Is there something wrong with you? Are you okay?"

I puff. "Stop asking so many questions. Just read them, will you? See for yourself."

And he takes a look past the papers. "Okay, everything seems to be fine on your tests. There doesn't seem to be anything out of the ordinary. I don't get it."

"Search a little more, comrade."

And as he reaches the end of the last paper, his eyes widen and his jaw almost drops. He lifts his head and watches me, a small smile creeping on his lips.

"Roza… you are…"

Smiling widely, I shrug and nod. And in the next second my feet are off the ground and Dimitri's arms are around me and he is circling me around the hallway and we both laugh joyously. And eventually, after a nurse gets past us and gives us a harsh glare because of the noise we make, he puts me back down.

"God, Roza." he says looking at the papers once more, like he would need to check things twice. "This is… wow. This is amazing news." and he takes me again into his embrace. "You have no idea how happy you have made me with this thing, milaya." he says kissing my temple and then chuckles a little. "Wow. We're having a baby, Rose." he says, being still in awe. And I must admit that his excitement makes me more happier than the news itself. The look in his eyes and the way he speaks about it is making me love him more.

"Well, I might have some more good news for you, comrade."

"Really? What could overtop this?"

"Well, in about five minutes I am supposed to take an ultrasound. Do you care to join?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

* * *

And another five minutes later, I am laying on a hospital bed and a doctor is spreading some cold gel on my abdomen. And gosh, my palms are sweating from all that anticipation. I can't wait to see him. Or her. Whatever our baby will be. And beside me, sitting next to the bed is Dimitri, arms crossed over his chest and his foot is tapping on the floor as he's watching the doctor doing his thing. Well, he is more impatient than I am, that's for sure.

And soon enough, the doctor gets searching. But I swear I don't see anything on that screen. But before we see it, we can hear it. I snap my head into the doctor's direction.

"Was that…?" I ask excitedly.

"Yes. That was your baby's heartbeat."

And the next second I feel Dimitri's fingers entangling with mine and running his thumb across it. I look at him and gosh, I see the most beautiful smile on his face as he looks at me and then back at the monitor. "But where is it?" he asks. Yeah, I want to see my little human too.

"Just one minute." the doctor says and eventually reveals a blackish spot on the screen. "See? This is it." he points to the small spot and my heart fills with joy in an instant. Gosh, this thing just got more real.

"How old is it?"

"Well, from what I see, your baby is about six weeks old." and I turn to look at Dimitri as I do the math and I see the wheels in his head spinning too. This means that it happened just around that shitty morning. In fact, I guess it happened just the day before, it's the only thing that makes sense. Well, at least something so damn good got out of that awful period. As he realizes it too, he squeezes harder on my hand and soothes my hair. "You know how the doctors around here like to call this phase?" we both shake our heads. "The sweet pea phase." it sounds funny.

"But why? "

"Because your baby is the size of a sweet pea around this time."

And as I watch the monitor some more, hearing the baby's heartbeat, my eyes fill with tears and they silently fall down my cheeks, the joy in me overflowing all of a sudden.

The doctor chuckles a little at my sight. "I'll give you two a moment." he says getting up and then out of the room.

I turn my gaze from the screen that is keeping the image of our baby to Dimitri, and he smiles warmly, and then pulls me closer to him, placing his lips on my temple. "We're having a little sweet pea, Rose." he says walking his palm on my abdomen, getting his hand full of some gel.

I place my hand over his and laugh lightly. "I know. Isn't that amazing?"

"You're amazing, milaya."

"Well, I didn't do all the work alone, no?" I lift my eyebrows and we both chuckle. "So this means we're both amazing."

"The three of us." he corrects me.

I smile stupidly at him, I can't help it. "Yeah, comrade. The three of us." I just can't believe that this thing is really happening.

* * *

"He's taking good care of you, no? He didn't do anything bad, no?"

I chuckle. "Of course he is taking good care of me. You know how your son is, after all."

"Yes, I know him well, but still…" Olena says and her voice changes its tone. She is still kind of pissed off from time to time because Dimitri didn't make me his wife before he got me pregnant. He got some serious scolding from his mother about that subject, Olena insisting that things have to be made into an order in life, but well, things happen sometimes. And she eventually got over it, but she never misses the chance of reminding us of that. "Did he do it yet?" this is the standard question I get each time I call her to ask her something about my pregnancy.

"Well…" I try to dodge the subject. I don't want him to be forced to ask me to marry him. I want him to do it just when he feels like it and the moment he will, I know it will be the perfect moment, just like it was the first time he asked me. Or maybe there's no reason for him to ask me again. I don't really know, we never got to talk about that. But still, I don't want to rush things. I like them just the way they are right now.

She puffs. "Fine, I am going to stop asking you that. It has no point anyway. Now tell me what's the matter, Rose."

"It's a small thing, but-"

"It doesn't matter. Anything you need to know, ask me. I am here to help."

"And I am really grateful that you are. Really, it means a lot to me. I am completely clueless." and we both chuckle. "But the thing is that my tummy is itching me like crazy. Should I worry about that?"

"No, Rose. Not at all. It's normal. Your belly must be starting to get bigger now and that's the reason. You're already eight weeks pregnant and your skin is stretching, that's all."

"Oh, right. It kind of makes sense now."

"Is that all?"

"Yup, that's all for this time. I am re-"

"Rose, I already told you that I am happy to help. And about that, I forgot to tell you something the last time we spoke."

And we continue to speak some more time, and then I spend some time laying in bed as I get a wave of tiredness washing over me. And not long after that, Dimitri comes home. He gets into the bedroom and kisses me first thing, sitting then on the edge of the bed.

"How was your meeting?"

"Like any Sunday meeting could be. Completely useless. But leave that. How are you? You're fine?"

"Yeah, I am. Just a little tired."

"We can go tree shopping some other day if you don't feel like it."

"Oh, hell no. We're going _today_. It's already late enough. We postponed this shit way too many times now."

"You sure?"

"Completely."

And as I get dressed, I zone out for a second in front of the mirror. And I snap out of it as I feel Dimitri's arms rounding on my abdomen, his palms getting under my blouse and making circles on my skin. "What's the verdict on your itch?"

"It is okay. Nothing bad. Your mother said that it is a normal thing to happen." I say and sigh.

"What's the matter, Roza?" he asks placing his chin on my shoulder.

"What? Nothing…There's nothing wrong."

"Rose. Come on. Don't lie to me. There is something that is obviously upsetting you. So tell me."

"It's not that a big deal, really."

"Tell me anyway, no matter how small it is."

I turn to face him and sigh deeply. "I just wish I could talk about these things with my mum instead of bothering yours."

He smiles. "But you know my mother loves the fact that you call her, no?"

"Well, she is the sweetest woman ever. And maybe she is too sweet to tell me that I am becoming annoying as hell with all these stupid questions."

"You are definitely not. Trust me. You are not annoying her. She surely enjoys it, trust me. You should have seen her how she was around my sisters when they got pregnant." and we chuckle a little.

"But I just wish I could speak with them about it…" but they are not speaking to me anymore. Well, they do speak to me. But we don't _talk_ about things that really matter _._ We just chit chat for some minutes when _I_ call them every couple of days as I want to still be in touch with them all, but my efforts seem to be useless. "I can't even call Lissa to ask her about this…" And each time when I speak with her, she never asks about Dimitri, none of them do, and she gets anxious when I forget that I am not supposed to mention him either and I bring him into discussion unintentionally. She is trying to keep this friendship going too, but it's not really working. She is still acting like my parents. They all still think that I am wrong and they're giving me the silent treatment in the hopes that I would eventually change my mind. But I know I am not wrong. How could I be wrong to trust him when he is right here, beside me, loving me and taking so much care of me every single day? When he is supporting me so much? When he chose to give me another chance to trust him and to make things work again? But all I can do now is to hope that maybe one day they will all find it in themselves to trust in us. If not, they'll have to deal with it because I am not changing my mind. Never. And until that day will come, it's us against everyone.

He puts some strands of hair behind my ear. "You still didn't tell them, no?"

"I can't. They would get even more upset with me. And I don't want that. I-" and I start crying. "They won't like this thing..." and I stop to sob.

He pulls me closer to him and kisses my temple, his palms soothing my back. "It will be all alright Roza."

"It's not _fair."_

"I know, Roza. But we'll figure it all out. And things will get better."

"You think that?"

"I _know_ that." and his reassurances are for now everything I need to know. Because if he says one thing is going to happen, it will surely happen. And silence follows for a couple of minutes in which I sit into his embrace. "You know what I bought on my way home?" he tries to take my mind off this subject and I let him do it. It will do me no good to think about all that.

But as I think about all the possibilities of what he could have bought, my eyes glint and I lift my head off his chest. "If it doesn't contain the words peanut or butter in it, I really don't want to hear it."

He laughs lightly. "It does. And it contains the word crunchy too."

"Oh, gosh, Dimitri, you are the best! Thank you!" I say and squeeze him hard, then let go of him and rush into the kitchen. I swear that I have a weakness lately when it comes to peanut butter. I can't get enough of it!

But I don't get to take the groceries out the bag because I spot a big bouquet of yellow tulips on the counter. I pick it up and turn around, seeing Dimitri entering the kitchen too. I lift an eyebrow as he comes closer. "What? Now that I am starting to get to bigger proportions you thought you could bring me something to ruminate, comrade? Is this a nice way of calling me a cow in training, no?" I ask amused. But really now. I was eating a lot before. Now, I eat even more than before and it's a miracle I am still fitting into my clothes.

He chuckles. "No, of course not. You are _not_ a cow in training, Rose. You're eating for two now and to be completely honest, you look hotter than ever." he says rounding his palm on my ass and pulling me closer.

I bite on my bottom lip. "Really? Is that true?"

"Mhm, it is." He says giving my ass a little squeeze. "And you get more beautiful with each passing day, Roza." he says leaning over and kissing me. "And..." he says pulling away and pointing to the bouquet. " _Those_ are surely not for eating."

"But you know, they look tasty as hell."

"Oh, no." he says snatching the bouquet away from me. "We're not having this discussion again. You're so not going to try to eat anything that other people usually eat, okay?"

"Oh, come on, comrade. But it looked so tasty."

"It was a dog biscuit, Rose." he says and we both smile as we remember that day when I wanted so much to try one of those. At that time, it seemed to be the tastiest thing on earth. And to be completely honest, I still do want to try one, but I am trying not to give in to that temptation.

"Hey, but it is still for eating, no?"

"Yes, but not for you. You're not a dog."

"Fine, fine. But now give me back my bouquet. I liked it."

"Only if you promise me not to eat it."

I chuckle. "I wasn't really planning to, comrade. Or not for now at least."

And looking at me suspiciously, he eventually hands me my bouquet and I smell the fresh tulips. Gosh, I so love these flowers. "They're really beautiful. Thank you, Dimitri." It is really nice how he does these unexpected things for me.

* * *

And well, we eventually decide to ditch the Christmas tree hunting again and do it some other day, in order to sit in bed and fill our bellies with peanut butter and jam sandwiches, taking a well-deserved break from all the everything we didn't do this weekend, and we decide to watch a movie, something Christmas special, of course, because well, as Dimitri will eventually find out, I am a total Christmas freak. And as we watch the movie, towards its end, a wedding takes place and I remember something.

"Hey, comrade. You know what?" I ask lifting up off him.

"What?"

"I really missed you at Lissa's wedding. I wish you would have been there."

He passes a hand through my hair. "Me too, Rose."

"But you know what I regret most?"

"What?"

"I wanted to dance with you at Lissa's wedding. There was a song playing one time, some '80s thing that reminded me of you and it was slow and I thought that it would have been so nice if you would have been there and we would have danced on it."

He smiles, then scoops out from under me and gets to his feet. "Get up. Come on." he urges me.

"What? Why?"

"Come on." he extends his hand to me. I take it and he pulls me up, then gets his hands around me.

"What are you doing?"

"We can make things right. We can dance right now."

I laugh. "But where is the music? How can we dance without music?"

"Oh, that won't be a problem. Just tell me the name of the song.'

"Kingston Town."

He smiles widely. "Well, that's a good one to dance on. We shouldn't waste our chance." je says pulling me closer to him, taking my hand into his and I lay my head on his chest.


	56. Chapter 56

**Hey! I hope you are all having a nice start of the week.**

 **I want to start with a biiiiiig apology for updating so late this time. I swear I had my chapter ready to be posted, I have been writing on it the whole weekend, but on Monday, just when I wanted to re-read it and post it, my laptop just decided to crash and I was unable to open it and it is the only device I had the chapter on, and I had to get my laptop repaired and now I have just got home and I updated my story as soon as possible. Again, I am really sorry for that and I hope that this won't happen again. You know I never got late with my postings, I always did it on time, but this shit just happened and I couldn't do anything to solve it quickly, plus that I had some classes to attend too.**

 **And I want to tell you that I took into consideration all your suggestions and I will try to apply them :) and I don't mind at all. Your feedback is helping me improve my writing**

 **alex. j. borders, that helps, I will try to keep that in mind for my next chapters**

 **And dear guests, first, I have decided not to take a beta, at least not for the rest of this fanfiction because there won't be so many chapters left and taking a beta would delay my updating, so you'll have to bear with my slips some more, I hope that this won't spoil too much the way you enjoy my chapters. But I promise that if I am starting a new fanfiction, I will definitely get a beta, no excuses :) And I used to have a little stash of already written chapters a while ago, but I finished them quite fast and well, I am now writing them in between updates.**

 **So, with all of that being said, enjoy and see you on Thursday :***

* * *

"He was right." I say and turn to one side to take one more look into the mirror. "That motherfucker was right."

Dimitri comes next to me while rolling up the sleeves of his shirt, a confused expression on his face. "Who was right?"

"That damn paparazzo." I say angrily and take off my blouse and throw it on the ground.

"I don't get it. What was he right about? What happened?"

"About that!" I point to my reflection.

He smiles. "He was right about how beautiful you are?" he asks full of charm but I squint my eyes at him and cross my arms over my chest, making my boobs hurt a little and this thing upsets me some more, thing visible on my face I suppose because in a second the smile on his face fades away. "Okay, I am obviously not helping. Tell me what's the matter. What did he say to you?" he tries to be reasonable with me once again and I realize that I am having a little mood swing and I try to make my grumpiness go away. It's just around six in the morning, for God's sake. I surely don't need to start my days like this and it surely isn't Dimitri's fault. He's always a sweetheart even when I am acting like a total bitch over little things lately.

I mentally count to ten and breathe slowly in and out as I reach my hand and take his into mine and he responses to my gesture with a light squeeze. "Sorry for that." and he gives me a reassuring smile and comes even closer to me. "It's just that… the other day while I was out to the market to buy some stuff and I was carrying the bags back to the car, this one guy came to me and wanted to take a picture of me, why, I have no idea because it's not like I was doing something spectacular, and while I was silently flipping him off, hoping that he will eventually just go away, before entering the car, he told me that I have gotten fatter lately and that soon I won't be suitable to appear on the front cover of his magazine because I would make their magazine look bad with my appearance. Just like _I_ was the one asking to be on that damn cover." I puff scornfully. "Well, I don't need to be on that! I don't even like their magazine!"

"Oh, milaya…" he says putting some strands of hair behind my ear. "This is why you were having red eyes the other evening when you came home?" I nod lightly. Oh, shit, he saw that. I thought I managed to hide myself quite well. But what can I say? That bastard hurt my feelings more than I thought he ever could with his shitty comment. And hell, lately I have been getting upset over the silliest things ever. I mean, what normal person would start crying over a dropped cookie? Well, that's me, everybody. I hate hormones so bad. "You know that he-"

I lift my hand to stop him. "If you're going to tell me that he's not right about that, you'd better not say it. Because he is. I mean, take a look for yourself." I say and take a step back, letting him look at me, sitting in front of him only in my bra and a pair of pyjama pants.

He looks at me from head to toe and smiles warmly. "I really don't see any problem here." I growl. "Look, Roza." he says pulling me closer to him and gluing my front to his. "I am going to be completely honest. I am not going to say that your body hasn't been changing lately…"

"Oh, so you agree with him, no?" I say pouting.

He chuckles and kisses my forehead. "Of course not. And you shouldn't either. A thing such as this is totally expected to happen, Rose. You're carrying a baby and that is amazing. So what if you have gained a little weight? It is completely normal and you should 't be ashamed of it. Not at all."

"Yeah, but…"

"No. No buts. That doesn't make you less beautiful for me, remember that. In fact, in this very moment, you look more beautiful than ever to me, Roza"

"Yeah, let's see what you'll say when I will get to bigger proportions, comrade."

"Oh, that wouldn't mind me at all." and his fingers trace a line up on my spine, getting under my bra and resting there.

"Yeah, sure. And why would that be?"

He kisses my cheek, heading down towards my neck. "Because there will only be more of you to love." and his fingers unhook my bra into a quick movement and a smile appears on his lips.

And his answer cracks me and I start laughing. "Oh, comrade. You always know the right things to say, no?"

He pulls away and brings his hands up on my shoulders to pull my bra down. "Well, maybe I am that good." and he lets my bra fall down on the floor.

"Oh, and _so modest._ " and we both chuckle as he brings his hands down on my body, already starting to pull down my pyjama pants. "Dimitri, we'll be late."

"Yeah, maybe." he says crouching in front of me and completely getting rid of my pants.

I pass my fingers through his hair, making him tilt his head backward and watch me. "So? What are you going to do about that?"

He gives me a devilish smile and then starts kissing on my lower abdomen as his palms cup my buttcheeks, getting his fingers under my underpants. "Oh, I am going to make it worth it."

* * *

And finally, some time later, Dimitri pulls up the car into the parking lot of the company. And as I want to get out, the car is still locked. I reach for the button to unlock it, but Dimitri stops me. "Hey, why are you doing this? Do you plan on kidnapping me, comrade?"

He gets my hand on his thigh and then walks his finger along it. "I want to talk with you."

"About what?"

"About this morning."

"What about that?"

He gives me a little upset look. "Come on, Rose. It is still bothering you, I can see it."

"What? No. It's not, really. I am over that subject."

"Then there is something else. But there is definitely something wrong."

I smile. "Oh, you so know everything, no?"

"I wouldn't say that I know everything. But I know you, Roza. And I know when there's something off with you."

"Well...it kind of is."

"Then tell me already. Let's deal with it. You know I don't like seeing you upset." he takes my hand again and brings it up to his lips, placing a little kiss on the skin of my wrist. "So?"

"I was just thinking about that thing with the paparazzo. I mean, if he observed that I am starting to get bigger, this means that others would start to see that too, no?" he nods, expecting me to go further with my idea. "And if some more people see it, what if they find a reason for that? And what if they find the _right_ reason for that? And what if they decide to share it with everybody? You see where I'm heading?"

His expression fills with understanding. "Yes, I do. You're afraid that your family will find out from the magazines and that they won't find out from you." I nod. "And you're afraid of how they will react." yeah, that's what I fear most.

"But still, I don't want them to find out yet." they're still acting unsupportingly and a baby on the way will only worsen things. I want to mend things up before I tell them the big news or else they'll go bananas.

"But they still need to know. And we should tell them, no matter how they will react."

I sigh deeply. "I know, but… they'll get upset."

"But what if they get happy about it?" Dimitri tries to cheer me up and I weirdly curl my lips. He has good intentions, but I know these people for so long. They won't like it at all.

"Can we like, wait until the holidays will pass at least? I really don't want something to ruin our first Christmas together. And I know they will definitely ruin my mood. And plus, if I wear some loose clothes," I say pointing to his shirt that was the only thing I could think of fitting me properly today, "it is not that visible, no?"

He thinks about it for a second, then nods. "Fine. But after that, no more stalling, okay? Your family needs to know. It's not really fair that we're keeping this from them."

"Well, they're not fair either by acting like jackasses, but what can you do?" And plus, I don't know why, but I kind of like this idea of keeping it for ourselves for a little longer. For it to be our secret for some more time, for us to be the only ones enjoying it.

* * *

And after our little talk, as we head inside the building, my phone starts ringing and I get excited. "Hey! Look who's calling!" I show Dimitri the screen of my phone. "I haven't spoken to him in a while."

And when he sees that Adrian is the one calling me, his lips slightly curl in displease. "Why is he calling you?"

Oh, he is so cute when he does this thing. I chuckle a little. "Dunno. You want to speak to him and find out?" I ask extending my phone towards him to take it.

"No. I don't want to." He says still bothered and looks away. I chuckle some more. "Why are you laughing?"

"Because you're jealous. You're funny when you get like that."

"No, I am not." he says scratching the back of his head, knowing that he has been caught red-handed.

"Yeah, sure. Just as you say Mister I-am-not-jealous-that-gets-jealous-each-time-Adrian-calls-me."

And the phone is still ringing. "Aren't you going to answer that?" he tries to ignore my comment.

"Not yet." and I stop him just into the hallway, pull him to one side so that people won't see us and I make him look at me by cupping his cheeks. "You know that I am only yours, right?"

His hands find their rest on my lower back and he pulls me a little closer. "I surely hope so."

"Well, what can I say? You kinda gave me no chance, no?" I ask looking down at my belly and I press it harder on his abs. He chuckles and so do I. "So, you'll survive knowing that I am going to speak with my _friend,_ Adrian for the next five minutes?"

"I'll will. But… "

I roll my eyes. "But what?"

"I'll miss you."

"Oh, comrade. Me too. Now give me a kiss."

* * *

And five minutes later, after I speak with Adrian, the first thing I do is to go and find Sydney. She is where she always is, at the front desk, dealing with some papers and I get there and I patiently wait for her eyes to lift and to observe me.

"Hello there. What can I hel- oh. Hey Rose. How are you doing?"

"Well, Syd, the question is what are _you_ doing?" I say not being able to hide the little angriness in my voice and I cross my arms over my chest and give her an upset look.

"What do you mean?"

"I just had a little talk with Adrian. Why did you cut him off like that?"

She looks at me embarrassed and nervously puts her hair behind her ears. "Well, I…You wouldn't understand."

"Come on, Syd. Try me. Why did you do that to the poor guy? He has no idea what he did wrong. You should have heard him, he was so upset. Did he do something wrong?"

"He didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why aren't you answering his calls anymore? It's been a week form what he has told me."

She looks around her desk, trying to avoid my eyes. "I didn't do that on purpose, I am not trying to be mean or something. But I can't speak with him."

"Why is that?" And she gets up and takes me into the now empty cafeteria. "Okay, Syd, now I am officially very curious. What's the matter?"

"Well, Rose, I don't know how to say it."

"Just say it already! Tell me what's wrong!"

"I am pregnant, Rose."

"No way!" my jaw drops. "But how…?" I know my question is stupid, but I know they weren't planning it or something.

She sighs deeply. "I don't know either. It just happened. We were careful but…" she desperately passes her fingers through her hair. "I don't know…" and she sounds like she is on the verge of crying.

"Hey there." I fastly round my arms on her and take her into my embrace. "But that is great news, Syd."

"Is it?" she sounds so disappointed of it.

"Of course it is. Why are you so sad about it?" She pulls away and gives me an "are you kidding me look". "No, really, Syd. I don't get it."

"What if he is not ready? I mean, he used to be…"

I stop her useless worrying. "Listen to this Syd. You know Adrian, no?"

"I do, but what if he…?"

"Okay. Tell me this. You know Dimitri too, right?"

"But what does this thing have to do with my problem?"

"Just answer me. It will make sense shortly."

"Yes, I know him."

"Okay. And you know how he used to be too, no?" I ask her this because I know that this is the reason she is worrying about Adrian.

"Yeah… And Adrian used to be like that too, no?"

I smile. "Yeah, you are completely right. He _was_ like that. Not anymore. You want to know why?" she nods. "Because ever since he met you, I swear to God that I haven't seen him ever giving his attention to another woman, Syd. You are the only one he thinks about. He is so damn in love with you!"

"I am not doubting that, but what if he is not ready to have a kid? Hell, I don't know if I am either."

"Ooooh, trust me. When it comes to this subject, the men raised into the Belikov family don't play around. They are so serious about that thing and I am one hundred percent sure that Adrian won't let you deal with this alone. He will be there for you, I know for sure. You'll just have to talk with him. And I mean, Olena's sister raised Adrian and you must admit that they both did a great job with them."

"Yeah, but I mean, you can't know for sure, no?"

"Oh, trust me, I _really_ know."

She looks at me suspiciously. "Yeah, how come?"

"Well, I just know. They're awesome men and they would do the right thing when the time comes." I now try to be as cryptically as possible as I have realized that I am so close to spilling the tea about my pregnancy, but her brain works way too fast for me to take it all back.

Her eyes widen in surprise. "Oh, my God, Rose. You're pr-" she starts squealing and I place my hand over her mouth to make her stop.

"Shhhhhh. Don't say it out loud!"

"Why not?"

"Because nobody else knows about it yet. Can you please keep it a secret for me?"

"Of course I will. But you need to tell me everything about it." She says excitedly.

"Only with one condition."

"What?"

"Call that poor guy and let him know. He's torturing himself with questions. He thinks he did you wrong."

"I don't know, Rose."

"Hey. Trust me. It will all be alright, you'll see. Just let him know. Oh! Or even better. Go there and tell him face to face."

"Oh, _that_ I don't know... I mean, it's a long way and what if..."

"Oh, come on, trust me with this thing. No more asking yourself what if. Just go the and do it. And the second you'll see his face when you tell him, you'll know he is ready." just like I knew when I saw the happiness in Dimitri's eyes.

* * *

"What took you so long?" Dimitri asks me as soon as I enter his office.

"Well, I had a relationship to deal with."

"What relationship?"

"Your cousin's relationship."

"Oh, really? What did he do this time?" he asks amused. We had quite some fun with the little things happening in between him and Sydney and the funniest of them all culminated with Sydney bursting into Dimitri's office all angry about something that Adrian just did, and she was looking for me and she entered without any notice and well, let's say that Dimitri and I were quite on the verge of getting busy. You should see how embarrassing that day was for all of us. But hey, no relationship is perfect and they're managing theirs just fine.

"Well, nothing bad this time."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, definitely."

"And what did he do?"

"Oh, someone's curious, no?"

"Maybe I am."

And I lean over his desk, propping my hands on its edges. "Well, then let me tell you a secret comrade."

He raises an eyebrow. "Let's hear it then."

"It seems that I am not the only pregnant woman in this building anymore."

And surprise fills his features, his jaw dropping a little, but he doesn't have the chance to tell me his opinion about that because someone knocks on the door.

"Come in!"

"Good morning, Mister Belikov, we are here to bring the sofa."

I turn around to look at him. "What sofa, comrade?" we surely didn't talk about any sofa.

"You can bring it in." he responds to the two men into my office and they bring in a great looking black leather sofa.

"Why did you buy this?"

"Well, as you insist to come to work even if-" and I cut him short by giving him a bad look. " _And_ I decided to agree with that, I was just thinking that having this in here would come in handy."

"For what?"

"For you."

"But why?"

"Because you feel very tired lately and I thought that each time you might feel like taking a nap at the office, you can come in here and sleep while I keep an eye on you."

I take my eyes off him and look at the sofa. I laugh a little and the next second I get crying out of nowhere.

"Hey, Roza. What's the matter? You don't like it? We can change it if that's so."

"No, it's not that." I say rounding my arms on him, and I get crying harder. He holds me tight as he is soothing my hair.

"Then what happened?"

"You're so thoughtful. And so sweet."

"What? Is that why you're crying, Roza?"

"Hey...I know it's stupid, but it came out of nowhere. And I can't stop it!" I laugh while I still cry my ass out. See? Fucking hormones!

"Oh, milaya. It's not stupid. It's okay."

"Thank you."

"So, you like it?"

"I love it."

* * *

"You know it's late, no?"

I lift my head and meet his eyes. "I know, but it's so comfortable here." I say taking a better position on him.

"See? I told you that you'll like the sofa."

I roll my eyes. "I am so not referring to the sofa. I am referring to you, comrade. You are so comfy to lay on." And he chuckles. "But you are right. It's quite late. And if we don't go now, we'll never get a tree. We're already missing one for too long now and the apartment doesn't feel Christmassy at all."

"So, let's go then." He says wanting to get up but I don't move.

"But can we sit here for five more minutes, please?"

And I feel myself moving up and down as he laughs lightly. "Oh, Rose. You're so lazy lately."

"Well, what can you do? I am doing a lot of work lately." I say and end with a yawn.

His palm finds its way on my abdomen and he moves it up and down on my teeny tiny bump. "Yeah, you are, Roza." He says kissing my forehead.

* * *

"Oh my God! I found it! This one! This one!" I keep on repeating as I jump up and down next to the tree that I have chosen.

Dimitri and the seller come next to me. "No, Miss, you don't want that tree." The other man says looking at it and pulling a face. "Mister Belikov, you should see these others trees. You'll like them better, trust me."

"Why not? I love it!" I fiercely defend my tree. "Dimitri, what do you think about it?"

He shrugs. "If you like it, I like it too."

"But how can you like it, Miss? Just look at it."

"I am looking at it and I like what I see."

"But you haven't seen everything around here. We have some more beautiful trees around here. Let's take another look. I am sure we'll find something more suitable for you." He says and his tone indicates me that his only interest is to take as much money from us as possible. But when he sees that I am not changing my mind and not moving away from my tree, he sighs and goes away.

"Why do you want this one so bad?" Dimitri asks analyzing the tree.

"Why? Don't you like him?"

"I do, in fact. It looks quite funny. But I would still like to know why you picked it."

"Well, I always pick the trees no one might buy. It's kind of a family tradition that I started because when I was little I didn't want them to be left behind. I knew that they would end up being cut into little pieces and I hated that. They're beautiful too, in their own unique way. I know it might sound weird but-"

He smiles warmly. "That's not weird at all. In fact, I have never thought about this. And I really like your idea. It's a nice thing to do."

"So, this means we can buy this one, please? I know it is some kind of bald, but I really like him and I think we can make him look gorgeous."

A smile creeps on Dimitri's lips. "Him?"

I smile too. "Well, comrade, you need to know that this girl right here takes things to a whole new level of weirdness when it comes to Christmas."

"No really? And how do you do that?"

"I usually name my trees."

He laughs a little. "That's interesting. And what name did you give to this one?" he asks instead of making fun of me. Ah, it's so nice that he never does that but instead supports all my weirdness. How can you not love him for that?

"I don't know. Why don't we find one together?"

"Sure. But let's think about that on our way back, okay? It's already too cold outside and you're not dressed thickly enough."

* * *

"Hey, what are you doing there?" Dimitri scolds me the very moment he comes back into the room. "I told you I will take care of that." He says and quickly takes a box full of Christmas decorations away from me.

"Oh, come _on_. It's not heavy at all. It's nothing. I can carry that. Give it back to me."

"I don't care."

I roll my eyes. "Dimitri…"

"No, Rose. I am not arguing with you about this."

"Fine, whatever you say, but it isn't fair." I pout and cross my arms over my chest. "You don't let me do anything. I am not allowed to carry these boxes, I am not allowed to get up the ladder," and it's not like I would argue with him about this topic, I don't have a death wish. "then what should I do? I want to help."

"You would help me if you would sit into one place. Weren't you saying that your feet were hurting some time ago?"

Oh, yeah. I guess I did. "So what? I still want to do something. You can't overprotect me with everything. That's impossible, even for you.". He lifts an eyebrow, giving me his signature look that says "Just watch me.". I puff defeated. "Fine. I will sit on the sofa. Does that make you happy?" I say grumpily.

He leans over and places a little kiss on the tip of my nose. "Very. Now let's go. The popcorn is ready. You can take care of that if you insist on doing something."

* * *

"We need more popcorn!" I say as I reach the end of my third garland.

He turns my way and stops arranging the branches of the Christmas tree. "Again?"

"Mhm." I say taking the last handful of them and fill my mouth, then happily munch on them.

"Well, it would be easier if you wouldn't eat half of them." He says amused.

"But I love popcorn." I whine. "And you have been warned, comrade. This is why I told you to buy so much of it."

He chuckles. "I'll go make some more then."

"Hey, aren't you forgetting something?"

"Yes, right." He comes closer to me to get the empty bowl.

"Not that." I say trying to seem upset.

"Oh, my bad." He says smiling and crouches in front of me, then presses our lips together into a sweet, little kiss, and then lingers close to me some more, his forehead resting on mine.

"Aren't you tired? It's quite late."

"Nah, I am fine, comrade. You should really stop worrying so much my wellbeing. I am completely fine."

He kisses me once more. "I love you, milaya."

"Me too." I say walking my fingers on his cheek.

"You say that just because I am making you popcorn, no?"

I smile widely. "Of course not. It's because you made me hot cocoa too." And we both laugh. "But seriously now," I take his hand into mine. "You take so much care of me. And I love you for that. And now I will really appreciate if you would go and make some more popcorn, comrade." I swear the craving in me in huge even though I have just eaten so much of it already.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "Oh, Roza." And he gets up and heads towards the kitchen.

"Oh, and when you come back, do you think you can bring the peanut butter jar, please?"

"What? You want to try that combination too?"

"Why not? It seems delicious to me."

"Fine. But see if you can manage to eat some cranberries too by then. You know…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know. Some fruits and veggies from time to time won't hurt me, comrade. You keep on saying that quite often, you know?"

"Well, what can I do if you don't want to get it?"

"I wouldn't say that I don't _get_ _it_. It's more like not wanting to listen to you."

He stops just into the door frame and looks at me, his eyebrows raised. "Oh, really?"

I shrug. "Well, you know I have a thing for disobeying you." I say trying to sound innocent.

He bites his bottom lip and then smiles. "Oh, Roza. You're so lucky that we have to finish decorating this tree now or..." he takes a deep breath in and then lets the air out with a sigh.

"Or else what?" I provoke him and I can already feel the air in between us starting to fill with electricity as he's watching me. It's funny that we can get here from almost every subject we talk about.

"Oh, don't you worry about that. You'll see later."

"Is it something I might like?"

He chuckles somehow for himself. "I am sure you'll like it." and he turns around and goes into the kitchen, leaving me behind aroused and smiling stupidly thinking about what will happen later. Ah, I don't think I'll ever get tired of him.

* * *

"It looks quite nice, doesn't it?" I ask taking one last look at our beautiful Christmas tree after I place the last decoration on its branch. Dimitri and I did a really good job with this fella.

"There's something missing."

"Yeah? What is that? I think he looks just perfect."

"Wait here." He says and goes back into our room, and when he comes back, he is carrying a box that he hands to me. "This is missing. Open it."

And as I open the box, my eyes lay on this beautiful angel. Yeah, this is officially the most awesome tree topper I have ever seen. The angel woman is dressed in red clothes and she has a gold harp into her hands and a little circle over her head and, of course, it has a wonderful pair of white wings. It looks perfect for our tree. I take it out and turn it into my hands, and then I get coughing. "But why is it so full of dust, comrade?" and I brush off some of it. "Where were you hiding it?"

"Well, I haven't been using it."

"But why? It is so beautiful. It's a pity to let it sit in this box."

He shrugs. "I wasn't seeing the point of having a tree."

I spend a couple of seconds with my mouth open but without any words getting out. "Waaait a second. What? How can you have Christmas without a tree? That doesn't make any sense. This cannot be possible." and Dimitri smiles lightly at my little revolt. "Oh, but if you were going home that kind of makes sense, in fact. They must have their decorations, duh."

"I didn't have the time to go back home on holidays."

And my jaw drops once more. "That is unacceptable! How were you enjoying Christmas then? No tree, no nothing? Just like that?"

He nods, and then shrugs once again. "As I said, I wasn't seeing the point of it. No one was going to see it anyway. Lately, Christmas has lost its importance for me."

And in an instant, I punch his arm. "Oh my God. Don't you ever say that again. Christmas is everything! It's so awesome. How could you not enjoy it?" but in times like these, I realize how much of a loner Dimitri really is. Or I at least hope he was. It must have been weird for him to be so far from home for so long. "Okay, then. What about this? From now on, I declare it a rule into this house that we'll always have a Christmas tree. And so many other things linked to Christmas."

He chuckles and then kisses my forehead. "As you say, my queen."

"And you'll see, comrade. The Christmas spirit will make its presence felt soon enough."

"Oh, I can already start feeling it. Your excitement is quite contagious."

I chuckle and extend the angel to him. "Here, you put it."

"Why?"

"Um, because you're way taller than me, that's why."

"So what?"

"Do you want to see me climbing that tree to reach its top? I thought I wasn't allowed to get up on the ladder."

"Of course you're not."

"Good. Then you put it."

But he doesn't listen to me. Instead, after he takes the angel from me, he crouches next to me and picks me up from behind, my butt on his left shoulder. As he lifts me I squeal loudly and in an instant I get a hold of his upper arm and his neck, trying to get a better grounding.

"Dimitri! Stop it. Put me down now! What are you doing?"

"What does it look like I am doing? I am helping you put the tree topper."

And as I understand the height I am on, my stomach knots and I squeeze harder on him. "Don't you drop me." And my hands start to tremble.

"You know I would never do that."

"I know but…" and I take deep breaths in, trying to calm myself. "Can you put me down, please?"

"You're afraid of heights?"

"Mhm. I am. Please put me down." I am on the verge of tears right now and even though I am not so high, I cannot help it but panic.

And the next second, I feel the ground being back under my feet and Dimitri's fingers entangling with mine. "Hey, it's okay." He says squeezing my hands. I lean towards him for some support as I feel my legs mushy. "You never told me about this."

"I never thought it would be relevant."

"But you have no problem with going with an airplane."

"Hey, I never said that my fear is logical. With the airplane it's different. It's just when I find myself on ladders or someone picks me up."

"How come?"

"Well, that is quite of a stupid story."

"It doesn't matter. Tell me."

"I was quite little and we were fooling around, me and some kids around the school. And I don't remember how, but we have seen some older kids doing some interesting shit and we thought it would be awesome that we would try it out too. And we tried it. And well, things didn't work as well as we wished. And as I wanted to do it first, I fell from quite a distance. And ever since I don't really want to get to high grounds."

"Can I try something?"

Why do I have the impression that I won't like it? "Something like?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Ooooh, I know where you're heading. And please don't do that. You wouldn't be the first one to try that. My father always tried to make me get over it and things didn't end up well. They never did."

"Come on. You can't keep on going like that. Trust me. I will stop the second you feel uncomfortable."

"But why do you want to do this so bad?"

He shrugs. "Why not? If I can manage to help you somehow…"

"Do you promise you'll put me down if I ask you?"

"Of course I will, Roza. It's not like I want to scare you. I just want to try a little thing. And if it will make you feel better, Viktoria used to have this fear too."

"And what? You managed to cure her?"

He chuckles. "I didn't _cure_ her. But I managed to help her get over it a little."

I sigh. "Fine. I'll let you try it."

"Good. Now close your eyes."

"What? Are you insane? I am _not_ doing that. Not without seeing what's happening."

He smiles warmly. "Come on. Trust me. Nothing bad will happen."

And I first take his hands into mine, and then I do as I am said and close my eyes. "I don't know if I'll like this, comrade."

"It will all be alright." He says and then he comes right behind me and picks me up on his shoulders with slow movement, my legs wiggling now on his sides. And as I reach higher, my legs start once more to tremble and I take a good hold on the hem of the T-shirt around his neck. "Okay, now comes the tricky part. You haven't opened your eyes yet, no?"

"No." I say my voice shaking.

"Good." He says as his fingers start drawing lines on my calves under my pyjama pants, his light movements managing to calm me a little and I loosen my clasp on his T-shirt. "How do you feel now?"

"Good I think."

"You can open your eyes when you feel ready."

I wait for a couple more seconds, in which I concentrate on Dimitri's movements on my skin and letting them calm me completely, and then I finally find the courage to open my eyes. And as I see how high I am, I panic again and my legs squeeze on Dimitri and I round my palms on his cheeks. "Dimitri…"

"Hey, it's okay." He says and gets a good hold of my legs. "I'm here. And you're fine."

"I'm fine." I repeat his words and I calm a little once more, and I take deep breaths. Gosh, this is harder than I thought it will be. But Dimitri is surely helping.

"I am now going to move a little, okay?"

"Okay?" I say unsure.

"Here. Give me your hand." He extends his for me to catch and I entangle his fingers with mine. "You're good?"

"Yeah, I think I am." I say and allow myself to smile a little. The world looks quite nice from up here. It's a whole new perspective. I need to see the good things in this situation, not to constantly think that I will end up on the ground.

"Now let's put that angel into its place, okay?" he says and takes small steps towards the tree, moving slowly and steady.

"Am I not heavy?"

"Don't you worry about that, milaya. You're not heavy at all." And soon we reach the tree and he extends the angel to me, then pins my legs as I reach up to place the tree topper into its place. I place it there as fast as I can so that I will be done with that thing.

"Is that good?"

"Perfect. But something is still missing."

"What now?"

"Well, we still haven't picked a name for it. Him. We haven't picked his name yet."

I chuckle. "Yeah, I forgot about that. Do you have any suggestions?"

"Not really." He takes a second to think. "What about Ostwald?"

"Ostwald? Doesn't that sound fancy?"

He tilts his head to one side to catch my eye. "Well, isn't our tree fancy?"

"Yeah." I say and find the courage to finally move and I lean forward, getting my face closer to his. "It is fancy, no?" and I kiss his sweet lips. "Thanks comrade. That unexpectedly helped in the weirdest way possible. I don't know how you managed to do it, but it helped."

* * *

And after a long, full day, we finally head to bed.

"Are you ready to sleep?" Dimitri gets his head out of the bathroom to get my response.

"Yeah." I say yawning. "I don't think my eyes will be able to stay open for longer."

And one minute later, he gets back from the bathroom with a bottle of body lotion in his hand. At his sight, I smile. "You enjoy doing that quite much, no, comrade?"

He shrugs as he sits on the bed next to me. "Well, you have all day long to talk with our baby." I roll my shirt upward and let him do his thing. It reminds me of how I used to want to touch Lissa's belly all day long when hers started to get bigger. And she was right. Now that I have a small belly too, it's even better. It feels so weird and so good at the same time. And with Dimitri doing this little thing every single night it's even better. It became our little ritual and I totally love it. I watch him as he puts some lotion into his palm and then bends down to kiss my little bump, then starts massaging my lightly my skin, with circular movements. And a couple of seconds later, he starts speaking in Russian with our baby.

"I still want to know what you're telling him." I say upset. I don't know a single word he's saying but gosh, I am so curious about it.

He stops his movements, looks at me, lifts an eyebrow and smiles. "Him?"

I shrug. "I don't know. It feels like that. I have a feeling."

"That we'll have a boy, huh?"

"Mhm, exactly. I have a feeling that there will be a little you running around the house soon enough."

* * *

And as I am busy doing my little yoga routine, I bend down into downward dog and I spot Dimitri sitting into the doorway of the living room, leaning over the door frame with his arms crossed over his chest and a smile across his lips. I bet he just got home but I was way too distracted to hear him. I stop right there and pin him with my eyes. "What are you staring at, huh? And don't you smile like that. You told me that I could try this. Plus you don't let me try anything else too tiring so what am I supposed to do? I know I suck but don't you smile like that."

His smile widens. "I am not laughing at you, Rose. In fact, I have nothing to say about it."

"Really?" and I bend each of my legs, trying to deepen my stretch.

He nods, then lifts a hand to get my attention once more. "In fact, to be completely honest, this is _such a view_ , Roza."

I get up from my position and cross my arms just under my chest. "Oh, really?"

It takes him two seconds to reach me and he places his palms on my hips. "Mhm, it is." And he kisses me and then bites on my lips. "Plus this?" he says pointing his finger to the sports bra that I am wearing. "This is _so_ _tempting_ , Roza." And he leans closer to me again, placing kisses along my neck, heading towards my cleavage.

I chuckle. "Well, what can I do? They keep on growing." Hell, I am already nine weeks pregnant and I feel my boobs ready to pop out of every bra I own.

"Well, I don't mind at all." He reaches his hands upward on my body and cups my breasts, giving them a little squeeze.

"You can't get tired of that, no?"

He lightly bites on my neck. "Oh, Roza. I never would. And I will never get tired of this either." He says and again moves his hands down, rounding his palms on my ass now and pulls me closer to him, completely merging our bodies. "You need to know that your previous pose simply messed with my head."

"Oh, you haven't seen everything, comrade. Come on. Let me show you my favorite pose."

He looks at me, eyebrows lifted. "I don't do yoga."

"Of course you don't comrade." I say pulling away from him and get closer to the Christmas tree. "Come here."

"No, really. I am not doing it."

I chuckle. "Of course not. But just this pose. I promise you'll like it. It's not hard at all." I say and take a seat on the fluffy carpet and gesture him to join me. He reluctantly comes and sits next to me. "Good. Now lay down on your back." He moves and does as he has been told to. I lay myself next to him and extend my legs and my hands next to me.

"That's all?" he asks amused.

"Well, FYI, I am not messing with you, that's an actual yoga pose, comrade. It's called shava-something. But it is basically called corpse pose. So this right here, is pure yoga comrade, and you're doing it."

"Well, maybe I can make an exception this time." He says and reaches his hand to find mine, and he brings it up on his abs, then starts drawing lines on the inside of my forearm. And we sit there, laying on the carpet just under our wonderful Ostwald, watching the lights in him change their colors.

"It's really beautiful, no?"

He turns his head to one side and looks at me. "Not as beautiful as you."

And at his words, I burst into laughter. "That was like, the worst pick up line ever comrade." I say not being able to stop laughing.

"Oh, but who says I was trying to pick you up? "

I shift my position to one side so that I would face him now. "Hm…So weren't you trying that?"

He moves too, mimicking my position and now we can properly look into each other's eyes. "No. You're already mine, no?"

"Mhm. I am. Forever."

He brings my hand up to his mouth and kisses the inside of my palm. "You promise?"

"I promise, comrade."

* * *

 **Christmas Day**

"Oh, come on! Get out of there already! It's not that bad. You should be thankful I didn't buy you an onesie."

He gets only his head out of the bathroom door and looks at me one eyebrow lifted. " _That_ , you'll never see me wearing."

I smile widely. "Then come out already. It's just a pair of pants. And I am sure you'll look adorable in them."

And he finally gets out of the bathroom he has been hiding into and poses himself in front of the bed. "Well…?" And gosh, he looks so fucking hot despite the fact that he is wearing a pair of silly Christmassy pyjama pants and he gives me the confirmation that he would look hot as fuck dressed in absolutely everything. Okay, maybe the fact that he is _only_ wearing that pair of pants is really helping.

I gesture to him to come to bed next to me and after he gets next to me, I give him a little kiss. "You look hot, comrade. I must admit that."

"Well, now we both share a pair of silly Christmassy pyjamas. I hope you're happy."

"Oh, you have no idea how happy I am. But are you? You don't seem to like them that much."

He lifts an eyebrow in disbelief. "You're kidding, right? They're so comfortable." He says and takes a better position in bed, laying next to me.

I lay on top of him and kiss the spot right above his heart. "Well, then I am glad you like them."

And then I patiently sit there, watching him, not wanting to let my impatience be visible, but I am so curious to see what he has got for me. But of course he is taking his time teasing me. And he's enjoying it as he's watching me with a specific expectant glance as I move my fingers along his chest, pretending that I am not burning with curiosity. And after some minutes in which I try to keep my excitement under control, he decides to speak. "So, would you like to see what I got you?"

I sigh relieved. "Gosh, yes. I thought you'd never ask."

And he chuckles. "Well, you managed this situation quite well. I thought you would crack sooner."

I squint my eyes at him and he chuckles again. Then, he gets a nicely wrapped package out of his nightstand and hands it to me. I inspect it and give him a questioning look. "I hope that-" he shakes his head.

"It was quite hard, but I managed to stick to my budget this time."

"Good, comrade. That's very good." I have found that I quite enjoy searching for not so expensive gifts and receiving some too, at least for some occasions. He's already buying me so many fancy stuff without any particular reason, so what would be the point of spending more money? And I like to see how he deals with that too, to see what he manages to find. It's quite a fun search for me too. And not wanting to wait for longer to see what he got me, I rip the package and I find a pair of Grinch home slippers. In an instant I squeal excited and get up on my knees, my arms wrapping around Dimitri and squeezing the hell out of him.

"Oh my God! I love Grinch! How did you know that?" I pull away and fastly try on the slippers, then dangle my feet in front of me. "And gosh, they're so warm!"

He smiles. "Well, it wasn't that hard to guess. You mention him at least once at a couple of days lately."

"Oh, right. Sorry about that. Sometimes I obsess over some things and I don't even realize it."

"Roza, you don't have to be sorry for something you like."

I smile. "You know what else I like, comrade?"

"What?"

"Your ass in those pants." We both chuckle and he pulls me closer to him for a deep kiss. "Merry Christmas, comrade." I say my lips still lingering on his.

"Merry Christmas, Roza." He props his forehead on mine and touches the tip of my nose with his.

* * *

And the days pass way too fast and so the end of the year comes.

"Come on! Hurry up! It's almost midnight!" I try to rush Dimitri to come back to the balcony so that we won't miss the fireworks.

"Here I am." He says coming out and he hands me a glass of champagne.

"What's this? You bought me champagne? You know I am not allowed to drink this, no? I only bought it for you."

"Don't worry. This is safe."

I take a sniff of it and feel all the sugar into the beverage. "What's this?"

"Children's champagne."

I burst into laughter. "No really? You bought kids champagne?"

"I did."

"But why?"

"So that you'll enjoy it too."

"Oh, comrade. You're so thoughtful. What did I do to deserve you?"

He leans closer to me. "Well, first, you exist."

And I don't get the chance to tell him anything else because the firework show starts and lights up the black night sky. So we both watch it, me leaning my back on Dimitri's front, having his arms around my middle, his palms soothing the bump on my abdomen. And gosh, in this very moment, I swear that there is not a single thing into this world that I miss. I have everything I ever needed right next to me and it feels amazing. I feel so fulfilled.

And as the fireworks start to calm down, Dimitri rests his head into the crook of my neck and he kisses my neck lightly. "I love you, milaya." He whispers in my ear.

I turn my head towards him to meet his eyes and as that happens, a smile grows on my lips. Yeah, I have everything I need right here. "I love you too, Dimitri. So much."

* * *

Then, on the morning of 16th of January, a quiet Sunday morning that I wanted to spend laying in bed in Dimitri's arms, I get a call: "Rose, I think it's time." And this is all I need to know to jump out of the bed and hurriedly get dressed.

"Rose, what's the matter?" Dimitri comes after me into the dressing.

"Lissa's having a baby!" I say and jump into his embrace.

* * *

"You know, comrade? We are not in Siberia here. You're barely wearing something thick when you get out! So why do you want me to wear all of these?" He shrugs and just pulls my beanie up to place a kiss on my forehead in response and I stop protesting as I know I have no chance to win this argument. "Are you sure you don't want to come along?"

He shakes his head. "No. I am okay, Rose."

"Are you sure?"

"I am. They won't be happy to see me there. It would be better if I won't come." I so much hate this thing. I would have loved for him to accompany me, but nooo, this is not possible because my friends hate him. "You go. Just take care, okay?"

"Don't I always?"

"Eh…" he shrugs. I squint my eyes at him and he chuckles and continues to swaddle me some more by rounding a scarf around my neck. "And don't take it off, okay?" he gets a threatening tone.

I roll my eyes. "Yeah, like you'll be able to know if I do take it off or not."

"Oh, I will know."

"Yeah? How?" I try to defy him.

He smiles and hands me a pair of gloves. "Because I know you. And I know when you're lying to me."

I smile too, lean over for a kiss and then go out the door. They must be waiting for me.

* * *

I get out and into the first cab I find. Not such a good choice, but I'll take it. I don't have the time to look for another one. Inside smells like there is a rat that unfortunately got stuck into a jockey's sweaty sock and decided to die a week ago and that kind of makes me want to puke, but I am managing this situation quite well. Plus, I have smelled worse. Manhattan is full of uncanny smells.

And as I am on my way to the hospital, I let the big news sink in. I can't believe that this is actually happening! Lissa got into labor just some minutes ago and they are currently taking her to the hospital. Oh, God! I am going to become an aunt! Not a real one, but still. I am so freaking excited about this! My best friend is having a baby. This is so fucking awesome!

Fifteen minutes later, I enter the hospital, not before I stop and buy a nice bouquet of pink chrysanthemums, Lissa's favorites. I make my way on the corridors and I easily find Lissa's room. In fact, her screams help me make my way through the hallways. And gosh, I don't think I really want to enter this place. It sounds like there is someone cutting her alive. Will it be that bad when it will happen to me too? I surely hope not.

But I don't really have the choice not to get in there because as I get there, Christian gets out of the room and when he sees me his uptight face suddenly relaxes. Damn, he looks so frightened. It surely doesn't compare to how he sounded at the phone some time ago. He comes to me and drags me by my hand and to my very surprise, he is acting like nothing happened between us. Well, maybe this little baby will be the start of us going back to how we were.

"Thank God that you finally came. I swear that she acts like she wants to kill me." And as Lissa calls his name he makes himself little and gestures me to follow him in there.

Okay, I get it. She is in labor and that must hurt like hell. Not fun at all. It's her right to scream.

We enter and I find her half laying in bed, a nurse and a doctor hovering next to her. Even though she is all sweaty and her face is flushed, she is still looking beautiful. When she sees me her eyes widen and she directs all her attention to me.

"Where the hell have you _been_? Did you come here _walking_ at a very slow pace? I thought you were good at running." she says, stopping from time to time to take deep breaths. I swear that I have never seen her this angry in my entire life. I get to one side of the bed and Christian covers the other. She grabs my hand and looks my way. "I am really glad you are here." She says next, calming herself and her words warm my insides. "But what are those?" she asks her attitude coming back.

"I got you flowers?" I answer shrugging

"And what would they help me with? Are they going to make this _fucking_ pain stop?" she yells, surprisingly not at me. "Give me some fucking painkillers! I want an epidural now!"

God, sincerely, it's kind of funny to see her so fiery. I mean she just swore!

* * *

And now the pushing part follows. After some hours of labor, we got to the most important moment. Yay! Having a baby doesn't seem so funny now. Lissa is almost breaking the bones in my hand as she squeezes it with every push. And from what face Christian has, I guess she is squeezing his hand as tight as mine.

"Ma'am, you need to push harder." The poor nurse says.

"I am! My eyes are going to pop if I am going to push harder!" hell, it's a miracle that she still has the voice to yell. Her throat must be sore by now.

And this back and forth between Lissa and the hopeless employees of this hospital goes on for some time. I hope that they get paid enough for putting up with these things on a daily basis. The only things that Christian and I can do are to let our hands be crushed and encourage her to breathe. Hell, at some point I even began to imitate the breathing motions just to calm myself. I could feel it; the big moment was approaching fast and the excitement is making my heart beat faster.

Then it seems like the time stops for a second as everybody hears it. The baby's cries. It's about four in the evening and in front of all of us, a miracle takes place in a bright hospital room. A beautiful baby girl soon to be named Emily is born. The nurse takes her away and everybody exhales relieved. When she brings the little bug back she gladly announces us that the baby scored a maximum at the Apgar test. Well, her first exam and she is already the best. I am such a proud aunt now.

Look, I was too caught up by what was happening before me and I didn't observe the silent happy tears on Christian's face. Lissa was long crying, that I could hear, but coming from him, this was unexpected.

The nurse places Emily in Lissa's arms and I watch the three of them. They look so happy and tears begin to form at the back of my eyes. This is so touching. And by only thinking that soon Dimitri and I will have something like this makes my heart fill with joy.

"Here, hold her too." Lissa says, encouraging me to get the baby from her.

"Me?" I shake my head. She looks so fragile. I can't. She is so little.

"Come on, take her. You are her auntie." Christian says smiling.

And with trembling hands, I take the little pink burrito from Lissa's arms. And I look at the angel in front of me. She is the sweetest creature in the entire universe. She has a chubby beautiful face, big blue eyes just like her father's and her head is covered with light blonde puff. She is the perfect combination of her parents. And she is so good. No crying, no wiggling around to get out of the pink blanket she is wrapped in. She is just happily simpering as she struggles to keep her teeny tiny eyes open and watch the stranger facing her. My heart melts in a second.

"Hey there baby girl." I welcome her and some happy tears escape my eyes. "How are you doing?" I speak with her softly and as I touch her cheek, she yawns lightly. God, I think my blood sugar level has got to the roof, that sweet she is.

And soon enough, the three of us sit around the baby and let an ''awwww'' at every movement she makes. And later on, the nurse takes Emily away and puts her into the bed next to the bed. And Lissa needs to rest after the effort she made. So I take a place on one of the chairs and get out one of my books, deciding to stick around for a little longer and keeping quiet.

* * *

I was never a stay in the hospital kind of girl. I couldn't stand to be in these kinds of places. They were provoking me anxiety. Everything was too white and too sterile and the smell of disinfectant was always making me sick, it still does. But see the irony in this: as I was little, at least until I got to thirteen or fourteen, I would usually spend some time in the hospital. What can I say; I was one of those kids that simply couldn't stay in one place for more than five seconds. The only thing that made my stayings more enjoyable were the little chocolate puddings the nurses were usually bringing me.

And as Lissa is resting after all this effort, the nurse brings her some food. As I spot the pudding on the tray, my face lights up and my stomach begins to growl. I didn't pay any attention, but I didn't eat anything since I left home. I should have listened to Dimitri and take something to eat with me, but I thought that I would find something around the cafeteria around here. I watch Lissa with my trademark puppy face and then move my eyes on the pudding. She laughs lightly and encourages me to take it because she doesn't feel like eating anyway, then she goes back to her napping. God, I so love this girl. But the odds are not in my favor. I took something that wasn't mine and as I open the little plastic box, half of the delicious treat ends on my cardigan. Just perfect. I move as silently as I can, trying not to wake Lissa and Christian, as they are both sleeping after these hectic hours and I get out of the darkened room and the bright light on the hallway hurts my eyes. Where was the bathroom? Oh! I saw it on my way here. I walk across the long hallway and go around the corner.

And to my very luck, I bump into someone. I hope I didn't transfer the pudding on this person too. I don't need the quarrel right now. I don't want anything to spoil my good mood. But as I take a closer look to the person in front of me, the blood in my veins turns cold. I know this person. She looks different but it's still her. A torrent of memories washes over me bringing back everything, all those bad memories. But at least, this is my chance to find the complete truth.


	57. Chapter 57

**Flashback begins**

"I can't find them, Dimitri. Are you sure you brought them home?" I ask him once more as I make my way through a huge stack of papers that's laying on our coffee table. "I can't find them here. Maybe you left them back at the office." and as I take a more careful look through them, I find some papers that catch my attention. It's a list of names and faces of different women. And if I wouldn't pick up on what the papers are about, I would be inclined to think that Dimitri is doing some bad, weird thing in his free time. But I understand immediately what's going on because there are two familiar things for me on that list. The women there are either named Nina, or they are red-headed, or at least they resemble her somehow. I take the papers and immediately head to the study. "Hey, comrade."

He was looking for something into one drawer and now lifts his head to look at me. "Hey. You found them?"

"Not really. I found something else instead."

"What?"

"These." I get closer to his bureau and place the papers just in front of him, then lean on it, just next to him, crossing my arms over my chest.

He takes a second to study them, then just nods. "So there they were. I was wondering where I put them." is all he has to say about it and his response makes me a little angrier.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" and I get surprised myself by the slight disappointment in my voice. I don't even know where it is coming from. "Why didn't you tell me you're still looking for her?"

He slides his chair in front of me, untangles my arms and takes my hands into his. "Why would I bother you with this, Roza? Why would I upset you by reminding you of all that?"

I shrug. "But you could ha-"

He squeezes on my hands. "Yes, I know. I could have told you. I don't know if that was the wrong thing to do or not, but I decided not to tell you about it. I don't want to keep things from you but this time it was different. And I want you to know that I didn't intend to hurt you by doing this. On the contrary. I know how much this affected you and how much you suffered milaya, and I would never want you to go through that again. Plus, if my search would have come out as unsuccessful, then what would have been the point of me giving you this false hope? Do you understand why I did this?" I nod and I even start to feel a little stupid for being upset earlier. He is right and he is always seeing the big picture, and of course, he is always so concerned about me and my feelings. And if I would have known that he is still looking for her, I would have gotten my hopes up and I would have thought about it every second of the day. He was just trying to protect me by not telling me.

I detach myself from the desk and take a seat on his lap, letting him take me into his embrace, and I place my arms around his neck. "I understand why you didn't tell me. But why are you doing it in the first place?"

"Why do you think I'm doing it?"

"I obviously don't know. That's why I am asking you, comrade. I thought we said that we will leave all of this behind us. That we won't think about it anymore and that we'll focus on more important things."

He smiles. "We did. And we are." he leans closer and places a little kiss on my neck as his palm is caressing my belly.

I place my hand over his and entangle our fingers. "Yeah, we are. But still, you are looking for her, comrade. Why is that?"

"Because I want to find some more proof. _Some_ proof. Any proof. To prove-"

I frown. "Hey. I already told you I don't need any proof. I trust you no matter what. Then why do you still want to do that? I don't care about that."

He kisses my cheek and walks his fingers along my tight. "I know, Roza. But you're not the one I want to find some proofs for."

I chuckle. "Then who is it? We already know the truth. That's all that matters. Who would you want to prove wrong then? I really hope it's not the media because we both know that they are just a bunch of crap eaters and that whatever they write doesn't matter, no?"

He smiles once again. "Of course not. I don't care about the media. It's for your family."

I growl lightly. "Dimitri… we already talked ab-"

He stops me. "Look, Roza. I am doing this because I can't stand to be the reason you're not speaking with them anymore. I don't want to be the one taking them away from you."

" _What_? Are you out of your mind? How can you say that about yourself? You are definitely _not_ the reason. It's not your fault that they don't want to see things clearly. It's not your fault that they are stubborn as hell and they don't want to listen. That is their problem, not yours. You're not the one to blame for that. You didn't do anything wrong."

"Come on. Don't try to act tough."

"But I am not trying to do anything." I pout. "I am just stating the truth here and if they don't want to understand the truth, then so be it. They can go and-"

"Rose." he traces my hairline with his fingers and then puts some strands behind my ear. "Don't act like you don't miss them because I know you do. They're people you love and it would be impossible for you not to miss them. And by you deciding to trust me…" he walks his fingers across my cheek, then lingers for a second with his thumb on my bottom lip. "By you deciding to come back to me… that meant you losing them." gosh, he is saying all these things that I am trying to ignore on a daily basis and not let them affect me, and the mix of feelings in me is too much already and some tears start forming at the back of my eyes and I try to blink them away but he sees that and he cups my hands with his. "And I can't stand seeing you miss them so much. Maybe you think I don't see how this affects you. But I see it, no matter how much you try to keep it away from me." and well, if he already knows, then why should I force myself to keep it all in? I let my tears fall silently and he leans closer and kisses some of them away. "I know it's hard for you. And I can't just sit and do nothing about it. Not when I know there is something I can do, milaya. I promise I'll do my best to make things right."

 **Flashback ends**

I take a step back just to break the contact between the two of us. I already feel sick just as the memories from that stupid morning storm down in my head. This _cannot_ be happening. I mean, don't get me wrong here, I wished so bad for this to happen one day, but I swear I didn't expect it to happen now, in this very moment and in these circumstances. I always thought that somehow Dimitri will manage to find her and that we'll both talk to her and sort things out once and for all. But well, things don't always go as planned and here I am now, facing her.

Nina. It's really her. Same deep blue eyes, same slender body, and even though she doesn't have the same hair, she wears it now short and it has been dyed black, I know it is her. I would recognize her from a million people. Her features remained engraved in my brain without my will. This is hilarious, no? It's her, her of all the people I could have bumped into this fucking town and into this fucking hospital after all that time she has been missing.

All the anger from that morning reignites inside me and all I want to do is to rip her head off, by instinct. _Don't. Just be calm. You won't manage to make things right if you go nuts right now._ I take deep and steady breaths, trying to let this full of disinfectant air around me calm me. And there are so many questions I want to ask her, but none of them find their way out my mouth. Instead, she speaks first.

"Rose? Is that you?" she asks, recognition filling her voice. Oh, so I am not the only one who remembers.

I start feeling really sick all of a sudden, something gathering at the bottom of my stomach, a really bad feeling, and instead of staying there some more and trying to get the truth from the woman in front of me, I get past her and continue my way across the hallway, heading outside now. Fuck the cardigan, fuck everything right now, fuck Nina, fuck the truth, I need some air to breathe. The walls are pressing down on me and I want to scream. This bad feeling is washing over me and I need to feel some open space around me. I will deal with things a little later. I'll find her again. I'll make things right. But for now, I need to get out.

"Hey! Please stop." she yells after me, her voice echoing on the empty hallway.

I pick up my pace as I start to see little black dots in front of my eyes. I just want to get outside faster and this hallway doesn't seem to come to an end. And after some seconds that seemed to last for forever, I reach the front door and open it. But she doesn't give up because I hear her steps following me. Good. This means that I won't have to go searching for her later. I get out and take deep breaths, letting the cool air reduce the flame burning in me. The door opens once more and Nina gets out too.

"It's you, no? Rose. You're Rose."

"Yes it's me! Are you happy now?" I snap at her. "Do you want a fucking prize now? Just give me a fucking second, will you?" I get breathless and I need to bend down in order to keep my balance. Gosh, I think I am having some kind of panic attack and I don't even know why.

"Hey. Are you okay?" I can feel the fear in her voice and she crouches in front of me, getting her face into mine and placing her hands on my shoulders.

"Get your hands off me for your own good, Nina. Now." I growl at her. "Just don't touch me, okay?" I take a seat just right down there, on the pavement and cup my head with my palms. And I feel her sitting down right next to me. And she keeps quiet until I completely calm myself. And then I lift my head and take another look at her as the streetlight is falling on her beautiful features. I can't believe it's her! And I can't believe that I am finally so close to finding the entire truth. But I still can't open my mouth to ask her all the questions I want an answer to. Maybe I am afraid of what she might say. So I sit there and stupidly stare at her.

"I am sorry." her words catch me unprepared.

"You what?" I don't think I got that right the first time. Did she really say that?

"I said that I am sorry. Look, everything that happened that day, I am really sorry for that. Dimitri and I…" oh, no. There is no Dimitri and her. And I swear I don't want to hear her finish that sentence.

"Why did you come back here?"

"I um… I had to. And I wanted to talk to you too."

"Oh. I get it. Did she finally convince you to _lie_ for her again? Is that why you're here? Was this something staged, you bumping into me? And maybe when I would talk with you, you'll tell me that Dimitri and you were lovers and all the other shit? Did she send you here to lie to me? Don't you have any _pride_? Any _shame_? What is he giving you in return? No. You know what? Don't bother to answer. I don't care. Anything that you are trying to make me think it won't work. I know the truth."

"You do?" she asks very surprised.

"What do you think?"

"I don't know Rose...I…"

"Look. If you don't plan to tell me the truth right now, you'd better save your breath because I am not going to sit around and listen to your lies. To her lies. So you'd better watch what you want to tell me next because I don't think I'll be responsible for my actions if you try to lie to me, okay? I'll give you some time to think of what you want to say next." and I look down the street at some couple that is meeting in front of an apartment building, a thing that minds me of Dimitri and of how much I would wish for him to be here now. I bet he would be so happy that I stumbled over this woman. And I bet that he wouldn't do such a stupid thing as panicking. He's always so composed. So calm, unlike me, that I am practically burning on the inside with rage.

She sighs. "First, my name is not Nina."

I turn my head to face her once again. "Of course that you are not Nina. I already know that. What were you thinking? Cut the background story, okay? I am not five to not get some basic things. Tell me something I don't know."

"Just wait a second." she says and gestures me to wait, then begins to search for something inside her little purse. She finally finds what she was looking for and gets it out. She hands me a little rectangle. "Here. Take this."

"What is this?"

"Take it. See for yourself." I take the plastic thing from her and look at it. It's an ID. Her ID. It has her photo and she looks younger than now, her crimson hair put up into a nice ponytail. I read the document. Her name is Alessandra Rosetto. She is Italian. And she is two years older than me. Well, nothing that I didn't already know. "This is the real me. I am not Nina."

"Why are you showing me this? I already told you that I knew that."

"Yeah, I heard you. But I still wanted you to see it. Because it's the truth. I am not that woman you found in your bed. I am nothing like her."

I cross my arms over my chest. I don't need her to try to prove her innocence. If she did this shitty thing, she is a shitty person, period. "Yeah? And how are you really like?"

"Look, I swear to God that I didn't want to take you away from him but I had no other chance. I was desperate." she begins now to cry, trying to accentuate the artistically effect and I must admit that it works somehow because seeing her like this kind of makes me not to want to rush her or to speak harshly to her. And plus, I remember the note she left on Dimitri's coffee table, so this should mean that she kind of was forced to do this. Okay, so be it. But how? "I needed the money so bad." she cries. Oh, so this all is about money? Fucking _money_? Well, then how much did my relationship is worth?

"So you what? You sold yourself for some dollar bills?"

"You don't understand! I had to! Look, my grandmother is very sick and I had no other choice. And she offered to help me."

Oh, this is definitely something I was waiting to hear. "Who is _she_?" she doesn't answer, just frowns and looks at the pavement embarrassed. _"Who is she_?!" I repeat myself, raising my voice. I can't be calm for longer, no matter how sorry I start to feel for her.

She sighs defeated. "You already know. It's Tasha." and the world stops spinning for a second. I can't believe what I am hearing. I knew it was her all along. But getting the confirmation from Nina. No. From Alessandra. It all makes things more real. It's not just a supposition. It's the whole truth. And once again, she played us back then and I can't help it but hate her a little more than before.

"Look, I'll tell you everything from the beginning. You deserve to know it all. It's the least I can do." she stops for a second, pulling herself together and stops crying. And then silence fills the space between us as she watches me.

"Okay. Whenever you're ready, I am listening."

She snaps out of it and nods. "Yeah, sure. Sorry. When I was twenty, I came here from Italy with my grandmother, the only person I have left on this entire planet, looking for a better living. After my parents died we weren't managing to have a nice life back there. So we came here. And to my luck, one day, I got a job at this modeling company. At first, things were going okay and I was earning enough money to have a decent life and I could finally repay my grandmother for all the things she has done for me. But along the way, the contracts stopped coming and I was fighting to keep myself from drowning in debt. It was all getting harder and harder but I got another job at a nightclub and I managed things somehow. We were dealing with it. We were surviving. That until my grandmother got sick last year in April. I spent every penny I earned on her hospitalization. And I got a couple of loans too. And in the end, I remained broke. And I needed money. Tasha was the only one I really knew back at the agency and she offered to help me with my problem, offering to pay for everything. But I had to do something in return."

"Yeah, to get into Dimitri's bed. How nice of you, helping a friend in distress." I know I am acting rude, but I can't help it but feel bitter about the whole situation.

"Yes, this is what I had to do. But I swear to God that I have never even talked to him before that morning. I have never met him before. I had nothing to do with him. I just had to follow Tasha's plan part by part, step by step and do everything she told me to. And I did. I am not proud of that. I'll never be. But I did what I had to do. I didn't have any other choice. So first, I had to text him every day, two or three times until further notice from her. Then, after Tasha was sure that you saw at least one text, we went forward with the plan. When you got back from Russia, I had to show you somehow my interest in him. She said that I had to be obvious about it and I did, every time the both of you would go to that bar. Then, I had to wait for him to be alone somehow. I just had to wait for the perfect occasion. And that night when you left, I got very lucky."

I can't believe this. So it was really all on Tasha? She thought about all this? It's simply diabolic how she planned everything. How far is she capable of going? She took advantage of this poor woman and made her do things against her will. She forced her to do this. God, I swear that Tasha deserves a special place in hell.

"After you left, it was my friend's turn to do her part."

"Wait. Was she in this too?"

"Yeah…" she scratches the back of her head. Okay, what does Tasha have on that woman too? "She went to the bartender, a guy who she has befriended just so that it would go on with the plan. She told him that Dimitri was one of my exes and that he cheated on me with you. And that she wanted to help me get some revenge for that." can you see the irony in this or am I the only one? "And she somehow convinced him to put a pill in Dimitri's drink. I am really sorry for that guy too because my friend and he really seemed to like each other and we used him. We made him do something that could have gotten him in big trouble." she says her voice cracking. Oh, so now it makes sense why he was so upset after I told him that Dimitri got drugged. And that little bastard got so defensive because he knew he was the one who helped them drug Dimitri. And he kept it away from me! God, I am so sick of all these lies! "My friend convinced him by telling him that it wasn't nothing more than a laxative and hey, making a guy shit his pants as payback isn't that harmful, no? And he helped her… me with it. But in fact, the pill was a drug supposed to make him be more cooperative."

"But Dimitri didn't find any drug in his system."

She laughs bitterly. "Of course he didn't. That was no usual roofie. It was something really expensive that is hard to find unless you know what to look for. And even so, it gets out of the system really fast."

"Oh, that bitch!" I pound the ground with my foot. She thought about every little thing! I take a deep breath and let it out. "Go on, please."

"We drugged him so that it would be easier for me to make him take me home with him. Or to make him let me take him home. And of course, to cover everything that was going to happen with a blur, so he won't remember much. But to be completely honest, I don't know how much he remembers."

"Oh, trust me. He remembers plenty."

She smiles. "So the pill wasn't strong enough as she said. I guess he was lucky. He wasn't supposed to remember anything."

And I laugh at her words. "You call anything that happened then something that resembles luck?"

She shakes her head. "No. I don't. You're right. But she was so sure that her plan was perfect. And I thought it was too. But it seems that it wasn't really." yeah, but still, it was good enough to make me believe it.

"Okay, let's not analyze. Tell me the rest of it."

"Yeah, sure. You're right. I am deflecting. I tried to talk with him for the rest of his staying, but the mostly ignored me and answered me out of politeness. And then he decided to leave. And when he got out of the bar, the drug has already started making its effect and I guess he started to feel dizzy. So I took advantage of that. I went to him and made him hand me his keys, telling him that I would help him get home. He didn't want at first, but I convinced him. And I took him home. Then, I took him to your bedroom. Then, I had to undress him." she has the courage to laugh at this part. To fucking laugh, like this would be something resembling fun. But I don't interrupt her. I just listen to her. "That was the hardest part of all, you know? I didn't know how much time I had until you might come back, and I had to move fast. But he kept on pushing me away, not letting me come near him, even though the drug already made its effect fully. He still resisted. And he kept on repeating to me ''You are not Roza, get away from me. Where is Roza?''." she stops for a second to smile lightly. "I could tell from his words how much he loves you." her words make my heart clench. "You have no idea how much I regret pulling the two of you apart. You two were having something special and I tried to mess with that. I am really sorry, Rose." she sighs and looks around the street. "You know? One time, he even pushed me out of the bed as I was trying to take off his shirt, taking me by surprise and I fell flat on the ground. I had a bruise for a whole week after that. He put up so much resistance. But soon after the drug made him fall asleep and it all became easier. Then, all I had to do next was to get undressed myself and wait for you to come back home. Then, you know what happened next."

"Why are you telling me this now? After so much time? Where have you been all along?"

"I tried to look for you after I realized how much wrong I did. In my desperation, I didn't think about the consequences. But after that morning, I had a lot of time to think about a lot of stuff. About all the wrong I did. But I couldn't act right away to make things right. The deal was that I had to get away from here, to go back to Italy. That was the plan, in order for neither of you to be able to find me and to finally get the money for my grandmother's treatment. And I did leave, leaving my grandmother behind, all alone. But at least she was being taken care of. And I could live with that. But I found out that I couldn't live with myself. I asked another friend of mine to help me look for you, but when she finally found your address, it was already too late. She got an old address of yours and when she got there, the landlord told her that you already moved a long time ago and that the apartment was now being occupied by a couple. The Ozeras I think. And she didn't go to ask them about you. After that, I lost track of you. And I wanted to speak with you. Don't get me wrong, but I didn't have the courage to face your boyfriend. Seeing him so angry that morning scared me very much and I didn't know how he would react when he would see me again. I was too afraid to face him. So ashamed too. And I didn't look for him. It may have been wrong, but I wanted to make things right with you. Because you are the one I mostly hurt by doing what I did. And I wasn't even supposed to look for you. Tasha might have found out about that. The plan was to stay away from this town for as long as possible, until things would settle and the two of you would remain separate. Tasha would usually call me and tell me that Dimitri didn't stop looking for me yet and that he kept on pushing her to tell him everything. He wasn't ready to give up. Until one day when a lot of things happened. First, Tasha called me and told me that things weren't going fine. That you got back to him and that I didn't do my part well enough. And she told me that I should not dare come back here. But then, my grandmother's health began to degrade fast and the medics told me that she won't last for any longer. And I knew I had to come back here. I took my chances. And Tasha found out about that and she won't give me any money because I broke my part of the bargain. But the money doesn't count anymore. She is going to die anyway." her voice cracks and she stops again to wipe away some tears. "I wanted to come and look for you after I would have taken care of what is going to happen, with the funeral and everything, you know, but it seems that the universe brought you to me. Please trust me when I say that I regret every single day what I did. But I did this for her. I had no other option. I love her so much and I was so afraid to lose her. But it seems that I got my payback. I did something bad and it all came back way worse. And she is the one suffering for all my wrongs."

"I don't know what to tell you." I don't know how to react to this. It's awful. What happened to her, what she did, what happened to us, what Tasha planned.

She gets up in a swift movement and extends her hand for me to take. "Just come with me, please." she says and takes my hand, dragging me up and then inside the hospital. I don't have the time to react and I follow her as we take some turns on the hallways and finally we get to room 306B. We enter and I see an old woman laying in bed. She is intubated and connected to life support. Alessandra takes the clipboard from the bottom of the bed and hands it to me, urging me to read it. But I don't want to. I know what it contains and I am not ready to read it. But still, I do.

Patient: Vittoria Rosetti

Date of admission: 19th of April 2016

Age: 89

And she is suffering from cancer. Terminal phase. Nothing left to be done for her than fill her body with morphine.

God. It's so cruel.

"See? I am not lying. It would be hard to fake this, no?"

I shake my head in response. "I didn't say I don't believe you. It's just that it's all too much to take in now." all these information seem to be too much for me right now. But at least I am happy that I know the entire truth.

"Here. I have some more proof." she keeps on going on with that and goes to some bag laying next to the bed and gets out a bunch of papers and hands them to me. I look at them and they are medical bills. And they are all paid by Tasha Isaev. "I couldn't fake these either." At the sight of this, my vision blurs. Gosh, how could you do such a thing to another human being, taking advantage of their desperation? What else is she capable of doing?

"Rose? Are you alright? Here, come and sit down. You are so pale." I do as I am being told and the thoughts of all of this settle in my head. I turn my head and look at the woman who is crouching in front of me.

"How could you _do this_?" I know that maybe I should feel sorry for her and I am. It's hard to live with this. But she did this to me and I did nothing bad to her. She took Dimitri away from me.

"I am so sorry. I hope that one day you will understand that I had no other choice. I don't look for forgiveness, but you need to know that I am very sorry Rose."

I laugh bitterly. "You almost ruined my fucking life."

"I know. And I won't forgive myself for that for as long as I'll live."

And I don't want to have unfinished business anymore. I want to deal with all of it and then move on with my life. I know what I have to do. I take her hands into mine. "I forgive you, Alessandra. I really do. Because I know how it is to love someone so much to be capable of doing such a thing for them." and in an instant she reaches her arms up and around my neck, holding me tight.

"Gosh, how can you be so good to me?"

I pull away and get up. "I am not good. I am not doing it for you. I am selfish, I know. But I am doing it for myself. I hope you'll have a good life, Alessandra. And I am sorry for your grandmother." I say and get out of the room. I roam the hallways until I find a bathroom. I get in and cry my lungs out. I feel the need to let everything out in a way or another.

When I finally get a hold by myself I dump the cardigan into the dumpster, I didn't really liked it anyway, wash my red puffy face and walk all the way back to the other side of the hospital.

I get back to Lissa's room and sit on the chair next to her bed. Christian is not here, I have no idea where he has disappeared, but I bet he'll come back. Until then, I resume to watching the little baby sleeping next to her mother. She is so peaceful, without any worry in this world. And so small.

I haven't realized it, but as I was watching her little miracle sleep, Lissa woke up. She puts a hand on mine and I look at her.

"What's wrong? You look so pale. Are you sick?" I shake my head. "Then tell me what happened."

And I tell her what happened ten minutes ago, with every detail. Wow, it took so little in fact but to me, it felt like forever. Five minutes were enough for me to find a truth I have been looking for for the past months.

And she pulls me into her embrace. "I am so sorry, Rose." her voice cracks and she starts sobbing. "I am so sorry I doubted you."

"It's okay, Liss."

"No, it's not. You're my best friend and I should have supported you no matter what."

"You did what you thought it was best."

"Why are you so understanding?"

"Because he was understanding with me too."

* * *

"Rose, you should go." Lissa says serious.

"Go where? You want me to leave? Did I do something?"

"No, you didn't do anything. But you should go. To Dimitri."

"But what about you?"

"I'll be fine. I have Christian. He'll get back soon. But you should go and tell him everything. Make things right once and for all. And tell him… tell him that I am sorry. But I just love you so much…" she gets crying again. "I couldn't stand the thought of him hurting you."

"Hey." I take her into my embrace again. "It's okay."

"No, Rose, it's not. But I promise I will make it up to you."

* * *

And I follow Lissa's advice. I get out of the hospital and get into the first cab I find. And as the driver walks the streets of the city, I feel this immense happiness starting to fill my chest. And I let it wash over me. Finally, everything is over. Everything is okay. No more drama, no more anything. And all I can think of is that soon I will get home and that I will be with Dimitri again and everything will be fine. I'll tell him everything and then we'll be done with it and we would move on with our lives and be happy.

I try to let this feeling of calmness radiating from thinking of Dimitri to wash over me, but no matter how much I want it to work, it has no effect on me. My head soon enough gets clouded with anger, instead of the peace I thought I would find after everything that I have just found out. And soon, I have only one thing in my mind. Other than going back home. And I try to push it as far away as possible, burying it deep inside my mind but nothing is able to make my anger dissolve. It's still there, waiting for the perfect occasion to pop out. And it will pop out, I know for sure. No, I can't ignore this. I have to do something about it right now. I take a look at my phone. It's still early. Maybe I will still have time to find her there.

"Hey." I call the driver.

"Yes, Miss?"

"Can we go somewhere else? I have a thing I need to take care of right now."

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

It's already late, too late, and Rose hasn't gotten back yet. She didn't even call. And I am sitting right here on the dining table, with everything set up, waiting for her to come back home. I take another look at the little box that I have carried around with me for the past week and put it back into my pocket. Soon. When she'll come back I'll do it. But she said that she would approximately come back two hours ago and she didn't call either to tell me that she is going to be late. I don't want to seem desperate, but I just need to know that she and the baby are fine. It's not her style not to call. And it's not her not to answer her phone. Or to keep it closed. So, without any other option, I call her best friend instead, because I can't reach her on her phone.

"Yeah? Who is this?"

"Hello, Lissa. It's Dimitri."

She takes in a short breath. "Oh, hi! How are you doing? Are you and Rose, you know, _fine_?" she asks seeming a little embarrassed.

"Yes. We are great."

"Oh, good God I am so glad to hear that. And I want to tell you something, Dimitri. Look. I was wrong-"

I hear a baby starting to cry on the background and Lissa is trying to calm her. That must be little Emily. "Look, Lissa. I am not going to keep you for long. I just called to see if Rose is alright. She doesn't answer my calls and maybe her phone died or something so I thought that as she might still be with you, maybe you could pass her over to the phone? I want to speak with her."

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't Rose with you?"

"No." my heart flutters. What does she mean no?

"Not even earlier?"

"No. She left some hours ago. Why are you asking me this?" no, this can't be. "Isn't she with _you_? She said she was heading home when she left."

"No. She left in the morning and ever since, I know she has been there, with you, at the hospital. The last time she texted me she said that she will be hanging out there for a little longer. That happened around three."

"Well, she didn't stay here for longer than four. And you want to tell me that she is missing for the last _four hours_?" she responds beginning to panic. I hear some talking on the background and she informs someone about Rose's missing.

"Look, Lissa. Stay calm. I am going to find her." I try to keep her calm even though I have no idea how to approach this situation. But she surely doesn't need this stress now.

"I am going to call her too, maybe she will answer to me. Please call me if you find something."

So where has she been for the last five hours? And why would she lie to me about where she is? Come on, Roza. What are you doing this time? Where are you?

 **DPOV ends**


	58. Chapter 58

**Hello again everybody! Here is a new chapter, hope you'll enjoy it :)**

 **HonestPassion13, the fireworks were for celebrating New Year's Eve. I said that it was the last day of the year :)**

 **And dear guest, thank you so much! It means so much to me**

 **Lots of love!**

* * *

It doesn't take me much to get to the modeling agency. I remember the name and the telephone number perfectly, as some woman would call me almost every single day and announce me that Tasha is going to come around or that she wants to have dinner with Dimitri someday as they were still a thing.

I enter the modern building and find myself surrounded by women who look down on me. Like, literally speaking. I am not considering myself a short person, but with these women around I feel like a midget. They are all 6'2'' or more and they are all wearing heels, just to prove that they can be taller than they already are. And me wearing my mom jeans and one of Christian's hoodies that I borrowed to keep me warm before leaving the hospital, I look like some homeless person in comparison to them. But the thing is that I really don't care. Dimitri told me this morning that I am beautiful and this is all that matters. So what if they look how they look? He likes me, not them. So, without any shame, I walk past them and get to the main desk, where a woman is speaking on the phone. It's the same one who used to call me, I remember her voice. And yeah, she looks as bitchy as her voice sounds. I patiently wait until she finishes the call and then I ask her where I can find Tasha around here.

She takes her time looking across some huge schedule, then boredly responds to me. Gosh, give this woman another job. "I am sorry but she is now having an important photo shoot for an interview with some people from GQ." oh yeah? Are they finally going to document her craziness and make it a public thing? Shouldn't that be another magazine though? One specialized into mental illnesses? Anyway. Too bad I can't answer a question or two about her. I have only praising words for her.

"No problem. I'll wait for her." I answer and the woman looks at me distressed. She was hoping that she could get rid of me with that answer but I am here to stay and no photo shoot can make me leave. "Is there a place I can wait for her?"

She curls her mouth in what seems to be an attempt of a smile. "Yes, there is. But it is going to take some time." she insists. In response, I shake my shoulders indicating that I don't care about that and she finally gives me some indications on how to reach Tasha's room.

As I wait for the elevator to ascend, my stomach starts to make funny sounds, protesting fiercely. Ugh, I should have listened to Dimitri and at least eat something before I left home. The last time some food touched my tongue it was that pudding more than three hours ago, and before that, nothing. And if Dimitri hears about this, I am going to get a serious scold from him, one that I totally deserve. But I'll just have to bear this hunger a little longer. When I am done here, everything is going to be alright and I am going to go home and have a feast with my beloved man.

I get upstairs and sit on an uncomfortable chair in front of a door that has Tasha's name on it. (wow, she must be someone special around here if she has a room all for herself; well, it seems that she's good at other things too, besides being a horrible person, of course). And just under the plate with her name, it's a little note on which it's written the thing she is busy with now, into sloppy writing, that it takes me some time to decipher. But at last, I understand what the note is saying: "GQ interview photo shoot, room 207B, the comeback." The comeback? Her comeback? From where? But if I think about it, I haven't seen her in any magazines lately. Maybe she needed some free time to go through with her plan.

And considering the way this place looks, you would have thought that they could at least have some decent chairs to sit on. But they don't. And it's hot as hell in here. It's like they have the tropical setting on their air conditioner turned on. And I sit there until my hair begins to turn grey. I said that I'd wait but an hour and a half is a lot when you have nothing to do and your head is filled with silent rage that is waiting for its chance to pop out. Is it that hard to take some pictures? I gather my things and plan to go question the woman at the front desk about this damn photo shoot, and planning to head to room 207B wherever that would be, but I don't get the chance to pour my rage on her because the doors of the elevator open and the diva finally makes her entrance. Yay to me! My ass started to get flat from all that sitting.

And she looks different. She let her hair grow; now it reaches her jaw and it is styled into some big waves. This new hairstyle makes her prettier, more human if I can dare to say. The usual too much makeup disappeared and her features look softer. It's like she reinvented herself. But too bad that under this entire facade, still, she is nothing more than a bad person who does horrible things to people around her. And she is walking around wearing nothing more than a pair of black thongs and a man's white shirt, unbuttoned just enough not to leave much to the imagination. Wow, so daring to pose like this. She seems pretty pissed off as she speaks with that woman from downstairs, asking her something about the one who is waiting for her. Well, that would be me. And as they speak, the woman points to me, makes a little bow and then heads back into the elevator.

Tasha lifts her head and when she finally notices me, when she sees that it's me the one who dared to disturb her, she pulls a face and then simply passes right in front of me, not giving me any attention. Too bad. I am going to need her full attention soon. I rise from my spot and follow her into her room. As I guessed before, this is some kind of room she must get ready in, as it is full of expensive clothes and makeup shit and lights to help point anything out. And in here smells of that too sweet perfume she is always wearing, this being a thing she didn't give up on while reinventing herself, the strong smell making my empty stomach twist and I get the feeling I might puke soon. This is another reason to finish things here fast.

"Shouldn't you be staying away from me?" she asks over her shoulder as I close the door behind us. We are going to need some privacy for what is going to come next. "Oh, or wasn't it the other way around?" she turns to face me and I see disgust filling her features. "I did my part of the deal until now. And I don't want to get in trouble because of your stupidity. I shouldn't come near you, and so works the other way around, okay? So go away now. I don't want you to go to the police next and tell them I tried to do something to you. Come on, go." She says gesturing in my direction with her long fingers, dismissing me like you would do with a little kid.

"How's your nose doing?" I go directly to the subject and her expression changes, her lips pressing together in displease. She doesn't respond but I can see that the fact that I beat the shit out of her the last time I saw her doesn't bring her any warm feelings towards me. Well, the feeling is mutual, that's for sure. "Did I do enough damage for you to need a rhinoplasty? If not, I am willing to try again, you know?"

"I don't think that the reason you are here is for round two." Well, not my main reason. But if the occasion arrives, why not? "So just say what you have to say and go on your way. Don't waste my time. I have more important things to take care of now than you."

"Fine. I am going to say this to you once, slow, loud and clear so that it will finally get into that little brain of yours, okay?" her glare harshens. "Stay away from us from this day on." I continue, emphasizing every word. "I didn't think that you would be capable of lowering yourself to that level, but you just proved me wrong. Don't you have any shame? You took advantage of that poor woman's suffering!"

"It's not like she didn't want to do it!" well, it's good that we got over the denying part. It would have infuriated me even more if she would have tried to play the fool and pretend that she had no idea what I was talking about. But it seems that she expected me to find out since she knew that Alessandra is back. Good. This spares me of wasting my time uselessly.

I puff into her face. "Are you fucking _serious?!_ She was desperate, of course she did it! You gave her no other chance! You know, I am surprised that you came up with this idea. It's movie-like. Such a complicated plot, so many things to consider. You really played this game right, I have to admit. Good job. But some things didn't go as you planned, right? You failed again." my sting hurts her and she fists her palms. "Anyway. Now the fun is over. For real. This is the _last_ time you play with us."

"Well, at least now you know that there is nothing that I wouldn't do to keep you away from Dimitri." I just want to grab her by her hair and smash her face onto the wall, but instead, I dig my nails into the skin of my palms, trying to control my anger.

 _"God!_ You're unbelievable! Can't you just let us live in peace? He doesn't _want_ you! Can't you understand that? What more proof do you want? I tried to understand you at first but now the things have gotten way too far and you're acting crazily. You need to get over it. Hell, go get some specialized help or something, I don't know, but deal with it! Stop dragging us into useless shit! We had enough of you."

"He was _mine!"_ yeah, emphasis on was. "And if he can't be mine again, he can't be yours either! _Ever!"_

"You really don't get it, no?"

"What?"

"You can't _own_ someone! You don't _own_ Dimitri. He doesn't _belong_ to you. He doesn't even belong to me. He is not some kind of property we can pass from one to another. He is free to choose and he chose to love me, Tasha. _Me._ He is free to do whatever he wants! And this means love. Not making someone stay with you and feel miserable for the rest of his life. Love is not about keeping someone hostage, you get this? You are _so selfish!_ You don't really love him. You just lie yourself in thinking that you do. You just liked the life you had when you were with him, that's all. And if you would have really loved him you would have wanted what is best for him. You would have wanted for him to be happy! You wouldn't have tried to make his life miserable."

"He was happy with _me!"_

"No, he _wasn't!_ And you can't see that because you are a selfish bitch! Just because you think that you were happy with him, this doesn't necessarily imply that he was too! If he was happy with you, then why didn't he continue to be with you?"

She stops for a second, not having a response to my question. "Oh, and he is happy with you now, no?" she asks in that I-know-them-all voice and crosses her arms over her chest. God, how can she still be like this and why am I even trying to be rational with her?

"I hope he is! But if he is not I am willing to let him go and be happy. Because that is what you do when you really _love_ someone! You let them free to choose! You don't just go around and try to destroy their life, Tasha! That is not what normal people do!"

"Oh, spare me of your moralistic speech, Rose. You won't get rid of me that easily. I will find a way to take him away from you again, one way or another. Just wait and you'll see." she says, but I can feel that her facade is beginning to crack. She doesn't seem as confident as she usually was when she was threatening me. She has no idea how she will manage to do that because she is aware of the fact that there is nothing that she can really do to break us apart. And this is no longer some broken-hearted woman speaking. Too much time passed ever since that happened. This here is pure madness. She needs to be institutionalized. And fast.

"Oh, hell _no._ Listen to me and listen well. Keep your _fucking_ distance from now on. No more playing games. Otherwise, I swear to God that I won't be responsible for the things I will do to you. You have gotten way too far and this is the _last_ time you do something to us. Consider yourself warned, Tasha. This is the only warning you get because next, I am not going to use words on you."

"There is nothing that you could do that will stop me." oh, _really?_ I get closer to her, so close that I can hear her starting to breathe heavily, her eyes looking left and right for some help, but she surely won't find any. She is afraid of me in this second. Good. Me beating her surely had an effect on her and maybe she will think twice before doing something again. And hell, it's a miracle I haven't thrown myself at her yet, but I am barely keeping myself together.

But I can't help myself. I feel like I need to make her be more afraid of me. In a second, I grab her by her hair, pulling her head backward and I drag her even closer to my face. " _Just try me, Tasha_. And you'll see what I am capable of. What you did until now? That will not compare with what I am going to do to you. If you're acting crazy, I'll show you I can do it better than you. If you want to be a psychotic bitch, I'll show you what it means to be a psychotic bitch." I say, my voice coming out strong and furious, and I mean my words a hundred percent. Maybe there is nothing that the police would be able to do when it comes to what happened three months ago, but I surely am not going to sit around and let her try to ruin our lives again. I am capable of doing anything to make her stop. "I beat you once. Don't think that I won't be able to do that again. And next time I won't stop at breaking your nose. Or who knows what other inventive stuff I might find. Trust me. I have a great imagination. All you have to do is to ask for it, and I'll show you." and she doesn't utter a single word to me. She is scared, I can feel it and I must say that it makes me very happy to see her like this. She is walking her eyes across my face and when she meets mines, she fastly moves her gaze down on me. Good. Be scared, you bitch.

I let go of her and pivot on my feet angrily, heading for the door. I promised myself to behave so I need to get out of here fast, before the thin thread that is keeping me together breaks and I end up hurting her as much as I want. I want to prove to her that I am nothing like her. I want to be better than she is. I want to be done with her.

"Rose?"

"What?" I snap at her and turn around. Does she have any other threatening to do? If so, so help me God because I might start hurting her right away. But I turn to face a blank-faced Tasha. Maybe not. Her expression is not blank. She looks rather shocked. Wow, maybe I scared her that bad.

"You are pregnant…" she states flatly. Oh, shit! I shouldn't have taken my hoodie off. The last thing I needed now is for her to know. And this kind of fit T-shirt isn't helping me.

I laugh to her face. "You're just imagining things, Tasha."

And I turn once more towards the door, having in mind to get out of the fast, before she decides to get sure about the fact that I am pregnant or not. But all of a sudden I hear some swift movement behind me and pain shots through my skull without me having any time to react. My vision gets blurry for a second and I blink a couple of times to regain my clear vision. Then, I turn around and I see her looking at me, her face a mask of pure anger. What the fuck just happened?

"You know? I really wanted to wait to make my next move, Rose. But I have realized that I can't afford to do that now that I know you're carrying his baby." I hear her faintly as my ears start to feel like filled with cotton.

I take my hand up and palpate the back of my head. And as I look at my palm, there is some blood on it. And what is she holding in her hand? Oh my God this bitch just hit me in the head with a lamp, I hardly come to a realization. And this is the last conscious thought I have before I lose my balance and I know that I will hit the floor soon, and the only thing that keeps on ringing through my head is that I need to take care of my little baby and I try to protect my belly before I hit the floor and I round my arms on my stomach, this being the last thing I do before I lose contact with reality.

* * *

I wake up with an atrocious headache. My head hasn't been hurting like this in my entire life. It feels like it is going to explode any second now. And I am on the move. I am not the one who is moving in fact, but I am inside a car maybe? How did I even got here? And where am I, exactly? What _happened?_

I try to move, but I am glued to the chair by the seatbelt. I take a look out the window next to me, but I can't distinguish anything as the street that we are going on is pitch black and the headlights are just revealing an empty road ahead. Inside the car, it's dark too. I want to take my seatbelt off, but I can't even move my hands as they seem to be tied. _What the fuck is this_? It's some kind of scarf? Yes, from the soft material, it seems so. I try to get my hands out of it, but it is tied too tight. God, it's a miracle that my hands are not numb already. This shit is stopping my blood flow. But who the fuck tied me in the first place? _Come on, Rose. Try to remember something._

"Good morning, sunshine!" I hear Tasha's high pitched voice and I turn my head to meet her smiling face.

"What the...?" oh yeah. Now I remember. She hit me with that lamp.

"Shut up!" she commands and pulls the car over with a halt, almost making me hit my head to the dashboard. Yeah, please, do that. My head doesn't already hurt bad enough.

I turn around and try to take off my seatbelt once more, a deep urge to break free filling each cell of my body, and I can't move properly with my hands tied but I finally manage to open it. For some reason, Tasha doesn't react, she doesn't move a single finger to try to stop me, but I don't care. I need to get away from here, this is all I care about. I try to open the door but the car is locked up. _Of course it is locked, Rose, what were you thinking?_

"You can't get away, Rose. Not this time." she says smugly.

I turn again to face her and she is calmly sitting there, smiling at me, with a bottle and a piece of cloth in her hands. Where did she get that from? And what is that? Oh, good God! It can't be something good. I raise my hands trying to prevent her from putting that shit to my mouth but my coordination is not that good and she easily manages to pin my hands down and glues the cloth to my mouth and my skin begins to prickle and it feels cold and hot at the same time as the liquid is wetting my mouth. I try to keep my breath for as long as I can as I try to free my hands but this bitch is somehow way stronger than me and eventually, I have to breathe in again and as the faintly sweet smell enters my nostrils, my head begins to cloud. Fuck!

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

24 hours. The police needs for her to be missing for 24 hours before they starting looking for her. Which is a complete stupidity if you ask me.

And now I am sitting into a room with this overweight man, his forehead full of sweat and his moustache moving up and down as he seems to be mumbling something under his breath as he's busy searching something on his computer. I decide that I don't like him, that he is some kind of an incompetent that won't manage to help me. But he is the only one around here, as it is the night shift, and I have no one else to go to for help. And he doesn't even seem to be listening to what I am saying to him, he just keeps on sipping from his coffee and looking at that damn computer, sometimes nodding at me and just pretending that's he's listening. She is missing and he simply doesn't care. I just want to slap this table so hard that his coffee stops into his throat. Maybe then he will be paying me some attention.

"I couldn't reach her for the last five hours. She is not responding to my calls, not even to her friend. I have no idea where she is, and neither her best friend. No one knows where she is. Is there nothing that you can do about it? Nothing you can do to find her?"

"No, Sir. Not for now, at least. As I told you, we have to be sure that she is missing." of course she is missing, are you incompetent? I already told you I can't find her. "And look, you know, they usually come back." he says, a faint smile appearing on his face. "If we would go and search each one of them every time they decide to act wild, there won't be enough police officers around this state to deal with this problem. You know women and their moods. And we can't go on a wild goose chase each time they decide to leave."

"What are you trying to say?"

"Come on, from man to man now. You know women, right? And she is your girlfriend, right?" I nod. It's not like I already told him this a couple of times. "Maybe she just wanted to teach you a lesson or something." he shrugs. "You never know their reasons. Women do crazy stuff all the time." What is he trying to insinuate about Roza? "Did you give her any reason to leave?" he asks smiling again. "Or you _know,_ did she give you any reason to…" he says and makes some stupid gesture with his hand, imitating a slap. I grab the edges of the metal chair I am sitting on, in the attempt to keep myself from punching this man. What is he even trying to suggest? That I would have hit her? I'd better die before I would lay one finger on her.

"No." I respond, my voice coming out harder than I intended.

"Hey, don't get me wrong. I am not going to judge you." he lifts his hands defensively. "But sometimes, they just ask for it. Them and their big mout-" I can't listen to him anymore and I rise fast, the chair scratching the concrete floor under it, making him stop debiting stupidities. "Mister Belikov, I haven't finished with my questions." no, but I have finished trying to deal with him. He is useless anyway. I turn around and head for the door without saying anything else to him. "Just come and make a notice if she doesn't come back, okay? Just wait for 24 hours." he says lastly as the door closes behind me.

I don't think that I could have stayed in that room for a second longer. And so help me God, if he wouldn't have shut up, I would have ripped his head off. How can he even think about this? And the way he was speaking about women enraged me. That bastard had a wedding ring on his finger. I feel really sorry for that man's wife. But it's a good thing that I got out of there. I need to find Rose and being behind bars for aggressing a police officer wouldn't help me do that.

I get out of the police station and stop next to my car. Now, what do I do? What can I do to find her?

My phone rings.

"Belikov."

"Hey. I couldn't find anything. She just exited the hospital just around the time when Lissa told you she left and went towards the cab station. She got into one taxi and then I lost her track after I followed the taxi's path on a couple of streets that were having cameras. The path they were going on indicated that she was heading home, but eventually, the car turned around. And from there, we have no idea where and when she got to lastly."

"Keep on looking, Stan. She didn't just evaporate. She must be somewhere. Just find out where."

And all I can do now is to sit on my ass and wait for those fucking 24 hours to pass so that these people would finally do something about this. This is so stupid. So much can happen in 24 hours. I just hope that nothing bad will happen to her.

* * *

And I keep on calling her. I don't know how many missed calls have gathered on her phone, but I will call until she answers. It's the only thing I can do for now. There are times when her phone is ringing and there are times when it is closed and this only makes me worry more about her safety. What is she doing with that phone? I can feel it within myself that there is something very wrong going on and I will not settle until I hear her beautiful voice. I can't even rest, I can't stay in one place, I just keep on walking around the house looking for something to help me pass the damn time until those damn 24 hours will finally run out and I would get some help, because as hard as it is for me to admit, I need their help. This is not something I can deal with by my own. My resources cannot help me this time.

And around midnight, I finally get a text. It's rather a little story, but it is from her. Finally, she gave me a sign!

''Please stop calling me. I won't answer to you, no matter how many times you will try, Dimitri. So please, stop trying to reach me. I don't want to speak to you ever again. I have just realized that everything that happened between us for the past months was just a big mistake. I wasn't thinking straight and I was missing you like crazy and I wanted so bad to believe you. But too many things have happened and I don't know which ones of them are true and which ones are not. And I just can't trust you. I wanted to. I wanted it so bad. And I tried. But I can't. I saw what I saw and those images aren't getting out of my head, no matter how much I try to pretend that they don't get to me, because the thing is that they do. And I can't be with you if I can't trust you. Every time I see you those images of you and that woman, together in our bed just pop out in my head and I can't keep on going on trying to ignore them. So I am giving up. I can't be with you and live with the constant fear that you are going to cheat on me again. I can't sit patiently and wait for it to happen again. You betrayed my trust once. What gives me the assurance that you won't do it again? There is no proof that nothing happened. So I am leaving you. For goods. I am not going to come back to you this time. I have gotten to my parents' house because I can't keep on living in a town where I could bump into you. It would be too painful for me, please understand this. And please don't come looking for me. Anything that you would want to tell me, I don't want to hear it. I can't let myself fooled by your pretty lies again. So stay away from me, for this is better for both of us this way. I loved you and trusted you so much but after everything that happened I can't just get over it and go back to how the things were before. I tried for the past months, but I can't. And please, if you ever loved me, even just for a second, don't come looking for me and don't try to contact me anymore. I don't want to see you ever again. Goodbye Dimitri.''

What does all this even mean? Yesterday everything was fine and we... Everything was fine for the past months and she didn't give me any sign that all these things were passing through her head. She was happy. She trusted me. We were fine. What happened with her all of a sudden? I thought that we… No, there must be something wrong going on and I need an explanation right now, in this very moment. She just can't do something like this to me. This is what I feared most will happen and just when I thought it will not ever happen, I get this text from her.

I try to call her again, but her phone is turned off again.

Fine. If she doesn't want me to talk to her ever again, then she will have to tell it to me straight to my face, not via text. She won't do something like this. She would always let others know what is going on face to face, no runarounds. She would always tell me that that is the right thing to do. So where does this text come from, all of a sudden? Is this everything that I deserve? A text? Is this all I mean to her? No, I can't believe this. This is very unlike her and this text seems so cold and so emotionless, just like everything that we said to each other and all the things that have happened between us in the past months that we spent together don't even exist anymore. She called everything a mistake. Just a mistake.

I get into the car and head towards the place her parents live. I will respect her wish if this is what she really wants. I just want her to be happy and if this means me giving up on her, then so be it. But she will have to look me in the eyes and tell me that she doesn't want me anymore.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

But Dimitri wasn't the only one who has received a text that night. Two more people that are important for Rose received some text. The two persons were Lissa and Rose's mother and they both received the same text: "Hey. I just wanted to tell you that I am going out of town for a while. I need some time away to put my thoughts in order. I was wrong and I need to deal with something. I might not answer your calls for a while, but I really need to be alone now. I will be alright, I promise."

"What happened?" is the text she received back from both of them.

To which, she answered. "Dimitri cheated on me again. I just found some texts on his phone from some woman. Please don't ask for any specifics. I am not able to speak about it. I just need some time away to put my thoughts in order. I will be alright, I promise."

The first thing Lissa did was to call Dimitri. Janine woke up her husband.

* * *

The next time I wake up, I am still into that damned car and I remain as still as I can so that Tasha won't notice me. I know now that I don't have a chance to get away because I feel too weak and fighting with her won't be a success for me. That hit on my head combined with that shit she used to put me out messed with me big time. I don't know how much time passed since that happened but we are still driving and outside is still dark. Who knows how far we got and where this psychopath is taking me, but I need to find out fast.

I keep my breathing steady and I open my eyes slightly to look for some signs that would indicate me where we are on the road. The road doesn't continue for long, I woke up just in time to reach our destination, and I catch some glimpses of some plaques and some street names as the headlights shone their light on them. I repeat them in my head so that I won't forget them. Maybe they'll come in handy if I manage to get away from her and reach a phone. And speaking of phones, what did I do with mine?

Then, she makes a turn and finally pulls up the car in front of a run-down house. I can see perfectly the street name as the headlights illuminate it, but the number is not in sight. Fuck! That's the most important thing and I am unable to see it! She gets out of the car and I hope that she is going to come to pick me up. When she will open that door, there will be a surprise waiting for her.

As I expected, she opens the door on my side, but I don't get to throw myself at her, because she speaks. "I know you are awake Rose. I don't care if you see where I am taking you. You won't get out of here anyway. You'll never get away from here." and her words make a terrible fear creep into my bones, fear that I try to ignore. No, I will manage to get away from here somehow.

I don't move for some seconds, trying to make her think that I am still out in fact, and after that, I want to move and hit her, to take her by surprise, but as I try to raise my hands and try to hit her, I sadly find out that they are now not only tied with that fucking scarf, but they are tied down too and I can't make a single move.

And before I manage to do anything else, she pushes that cloth on my mouth again making me go to dreamland once more. God, I hate this shit so much.


	59. Chapter 59

**Hello! I am back with another chapter and I promise that everything will be alright into the next one, just bear with me a little longer :)**

 **And dear Jacjac, that was exactly what I was doing, taking advantage of the drama.**

* * *

Someone slaps me. Oh, they did that again on the other cheek. Who the fuck is doing this? First, I try to get my hands up and prevent another hit, but I can't move them. Then, I open my eyes and I meet Tasha's face. God, so that wasn't just a bad dream. She really has taken me away. I wonder where she took me.

I take a look past her and around the place I am into, exploring my surroundings, and I find myself into an empty coldish room and I am sitting on the floor, with my hands and feet tied with some thick rope. Really? Are you fucking serious?

"Did you sleep well?" she asks amused.

"Fuck you!" I fastly bring my head forward, trying to hit her but she is faster than me and pulls away chuckling. Then, I try to break free from the grip of the rope, but as I wiggle my hands and feet, the material scratches my skin bad. God, where did she learn to make knots like these? Has she been a scouts girl? These knots are tight and inescapable!

"Oh, come on. Don't be like this Rose."

"What do you want now? Why did you bring me here?"

She shrugs. "Well, nothing much. I just want to see you die." she says and her words ring into my head. Oh, good God. I am going to have to get out of here fast.

"So? What do you plan to do? Cut my throat? Shoot me?" I ask sarcastically. I refuse to let her see how much she scares me in this very moment. "Are you ready to get your hands _that_ dirty?"

"Nah, you're right. That's too messy. And I am not such a fan of blood either. But if I consider things, the fact that it would be your blood wouldn't mind me that much. Who knows? I might make an exception." she speaks just as she would talk about a shirt at the mall. Damn, this woman is completely out of her mind. And I am in complete danger beings near her.

"For how long am I here?" I ask her trying to change the subject. I really don't want to know what other things she has in plan for me right now.

"Well, let's see. We left the modeling agency at about seven. I had a lot of things to take care of because of you, you know? Plus, it was hard for me to carry you to my car without anyone noticing. But I dealt with it. I have worked on my inventivity, as you have advised me some time ago. First, I had to wait until everybody left, then I had to go to the security room and turn off some cameras, after I waited for those morons to get on coffee break, and then I had to lie to the night guard that you were a friend of mine that fell asleep in my room due to her pregnancy and that I was taking you home. What do you think? Did I manage to do a good job?" I don't respond to her, I just grit my teeth until my jaw hurts. "And now it is…" she says getting out of one of the pockets of her jeans a phone and looking at it. And that's my phone. She has my damn phone! Okay, I'll need to find another way of reaching for help. "about two in the morning." And the phone begins to ring, my ringtone echoing into the room. She laughs and turns the screen in my direction. "Aw, look who's calling." I see that the caller is Dimitri. A glimpse of hope blooms in my heart. Maybe he is looking for me. He may have noticed my missing some time ago and he needs to be looking for me. "But don't get your hopes up, honey. It doesn't matter how long you are missing. I already made sure that your lover boy won't come looking for you. He'll probably stop calling you soon when he'll see that you keep on ignoring him." Wow, this is just perfect. What did she do?

Then, she does an unexpected thing. She takes from her other pocket a Snickers bar and opens it. Really? She is going to eat? But at its sight, my stomach begins to growl. God, so much time passed since I ate something and I am so hungry. She laughs.

"Oh, sweetie, are you hungry? But this is not for you." she says passing that damn bar in front of my eyes. "In fact, there will be no food and no water for you from now on. You wanted to know what I am planning to do to you. Well, I am planning to let you starve to death. It will hurt you more than a bullet between your eyes." she says placing a finger on my forehead and pushing my head backward. Then, she takes the chocolate bar to her mouth and bites it. "And I would surely love to watch you die slowly." She grins. "I bet it will be fun." she says excited and gets up from her crouching position. "See you soon, Rose."

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

I drive for the rest of the night, the need to see Rose driving me to push the speed pedal to the ground, and I reach her parents' place at the break of dawn. It's about seven in the morning, and they may be sleeping and I might get to disturb them, but I can't wait anymore. The road was more than enough for me to wait. Too long in fact. I need to know what is going on and I need to know right now. I need to speak to her.

I knock on the dark wooden door of their house and I wait. Nothing happens. I knock again, a little harder this time, and now, into the quietness of the morning, I hear someone approaching the door with slow steps, their feet dragging on the floor. I definitely woke someone up. But the door finally opens and in front of me is Rose's mother, a beautiful petite woman, with auburn messy hair and sleepy dark brown eyes.

Looking at my feet, she yawns before she speaks. "Yeah? What's the matter?"

"Good morning Ma'am. I am sorry for this early hour, but I am looking for Rose. Is she around? I need to speak with her."

She lifts her head and looks at me, and in a second, the sleep has already left her features and she looks at me angrily, her jaw clenching, and all of her features harshening. God, Rose resembles her mother so much. It's like they are sisters in this exact moment as she squints her eyes in my direction.

"Oh, so you are _the one_ , huh?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest, taking an offensive pose, her whole body's language changing. "You look quite different in person." she says and curls her lips in displease.

" _The one_?"

"The one who _broke her heart,_ you bastard! What the hell are you looking for now? Why have you come all the way here now? No, you know what? Don't answer that because I don't want to know what you have to say. I don't care. Rose won't go back to you, so there is no point in you coming all the way here and try to plead for your cause." what is she talking about? "I don't know what you did to her again, she didn't tell me all the details, but it's the last time you play with my daughter. I have always knew you would do it again, but she didn't want to listen to me and now you hurt her again! How can you be so shameless?!" Oh, I get it. She got the same text as Lissa did last night. "You don't _deserve_ her. You have no idea how much she suffered because of you. She trusted you so much! And what did you do? Broke her trust again. But not anymore. Now she is finally going to get over you. So you'd better leave before she gets home and sees you."

"So you want to tell me that she is not here right now?" Rose told me that she has come here.

She shakes her head. "I am _so sorry_ for you, but you just missed her. She left. And I am not telling you where she is. I am not going to let you get closer to her ever again." Is her mother covering her up by lying to me?

"Ma'am, listen to me. You have got it all wrong. Let me explain it to you. I just-"

"No, I won't hear it. Just go and never _ever_ come back. I don't want to see you near her ever again. Let her be. You did enough damage already. What do you want from her now?"

"I just want to speak with her. There is something wrong going on."

"Yeah, there definitely is. You don't know when to give up, that's what's going on. Listen to me, young man. Stay away from my daughter or I am going to hurt you ten times worse than you hurt her, do you understand me? Now _go_!"

She takes a step back and tries to close the door but I put my hand on it and stop her halfway.

"How _dare_ you?"

"Rose is missing, Ma'am." Her eyes widen and she just blinks in response. "We have been together yesterday morning and now I can't find her. She left from the hospital and she hasn't been answering my calls, neither Lissa's. No one knows where she is."

"Yeah, of course you were with her. What about the moment she saw your phone, huh? Did you forget about that? Just because you can't find her, this doesn't mean that she is missing. We know where she is and she is just fine, being away from you. Can't you get the message that she doesn't _want_ to see you anymore? This is why you can't find her. And don't you try to get Lissa involved in this. Let her be. She has some things of her own to take care of. And none of us will tell you where Rose is, so forget about seeing her. And now go before I call my husband to kick your ass." She ends and slams the door in my face.

Now I know where Rose has gotten her stubbornness from. It runs deep into the family. Maybe she is right and Rose is in fact just avoiding me. No, this can't be! What the hell am I thinking? The texts she has sent to all of us have no logic. There is something wrong going on and I need to find out what. And I need to make her parents cooperate with me. So I call Lissa to let her know about how my meeting with them went and to ask her to talk with them, to tell them everything as they would listen to her, but I can't reach her. Gosh, what is she doing now? I could really use her help now.

But if this thing is true by some weird means, I still have to hear those words from her. I want her to tell me to my face that she doesn't want me anymore. But until that, I need to find her.

So, trying to make those damned 24 hours pass somehow, I spend all day walking around town and asking if someone saw her ever since yesterday. But all the answers are the same. Nobody saw her since she left town and moved to Manhattan. So this means that her mother was lying to me. And I still can't reach Lissa to make her talk to them. But this is not so important for now. I'll deal with that later.

The last stop I make is around six in the evening when I head to the police station in town. Then, after I have filled in the police officer with everything I know ever since Rose went missing, I have nothing to do but let them do their job. I hate being this useless. I wish that there would be something that I could do to find her faster. But there's nothing.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

 **Abe's POV begins**

Since that man came around this morning, Janine can't find her peace. God, I wish I was the one who opened that door and spoke to him. I have wanted to meet him and give him a piece of my mind for so long but I decided to keep away for Rose, because she blindly trusted him. But he dared to hurt her again. And he needs to hurt badly for breaking my little girl's heart twice.

And for the whole day, my wife still hasn't stopped worrying. She has been thinking about what he told her about Rose, about her missing, but we have been talking to her through texts and we know that she is good and that she is staying at a hotel until she makes up her mind about what to do next. But still, even knowing that, Janine hasn't focused on anything today and she hasn't eaten a single piece from her plate at dinner; she just kept on tapping on her phone and stared at nothing for the whole dinner. We then got ready for bed but this state of spirit hasn't left her and hours pass and she still isn't ready to fall asleep.

I wiggle my hand in front of her to catch her attention. "Honey? What's wrong now?"

"Abe, she is not answering to me. No, in fact, she has her phone closed now. I have tried to reach her the whole day and her phone keeps on being closed and then it got turned on, but she didn't respond to me. What is going on? What if that man is right?"

I take her small hand into mine and she squeezes mine in response. "My love, you know our daughter, right? She knows how to take care of herself. Maybe she just needs some time away to reflect, just like she said. It's not the first time she does things like this, you know that. And considering the things that happened, I believe she needs this time to be alone and away from that place."

"But why isn't she answering my phone then?"

"Look what we are going to do. Now it is pretty late to call her because of the baby and all, but tomorrow, first thing in the morning, we are going to call Lissa and she will tell us what is really going on with Rose and where she is. She surely must know more details. You know these two girls tell everything to each other. Until then, stop worrying, love. Everything is fine with her. You know that it's not the first time she goes away."

"Maybe you should call her. She might respond to you."

"And why would that be?"

"Because the two of you always seemed to get along better." she says and a flash of sadness passes over her beautiful features. "Am I a bad mother? Maybe I should have been there for her more. I really tried, but she didn't want to listen to me when I tried to get to her and make her see the truth. What have I done wrong now? Do you think that I drove her away? Maybe I should-"

I cup her cheeks and make her look me straight into the eyes. "Hey. It's not that. You know that our girl loves you too and yeah, maybe things between the two of you haven't always been great, but for the last period things have gone into the good direction." She pulls a little face, not agreeing with me. " _Well_ , at least they were heading into the right direction before that whole cheating thing blew up. Trust me. This is not your fault. We have raised our daughter right and you are an amazing mother. Maybe a little strict at times," she squints her eyes at me and I chuckle. "but Rose needed a person like you in her life. Someone to keep her on a straight track, to say things bluntly to her face. And she must have her reasons to keep this away from us for now. Maybe it is too painful for her to speak about it. But when she will cool down, you know she will come home. And we'll be there for her. And things will get better, you'll see. Just give her time."

"Yeah, but-"

"No buts. Now stop worrying and get some sleep, okay? Otherwise, you'll get sick or something."

She sighs, but doesn't argue with what I said. I drag her down and put her head on my chest and begin to soothe her rebellious hair until she finally falls asleep.

Oh, Rose. What are you up to now? You are going to drive us all crazy. I hope you're fine and that you know what you're doing, girl.

* * *

Someone is knocking at the door. Janine already shot up and put on her robe, hastily getting to the door of our room.

"It may be her." she said before I could react and got out the bedroom door.

I take a look at the clock on the nightstand and it's two in the morning. I doubt that it's Rose at this hour. So who might be? I get out of the bedroom too and head to the door to see what's happening. I get to the hallway and hear some voices.

"Look Ma'am I just love your daughter so much. I swear I wouldn't hurt her. Ever." then some other words follow this sentence. Is this Russian? Oh. It must be that man. What the hell is he doing here at this hour?

"Abe, honey? Get here." Janine says as I am already on the move, and I get to the front door in a couple of seconds.

And I am right with my presumption. It's indeed him. And he is leaning with a hand on the doorframe, moving slowly left and right as my wife is looking at him with wide eyes and speechless.

"Hey you! Get out of here!" at my words, his attention turns towards me.

"Do you have any idea what time it is? What are you doing here?" Janine finally snaps out of her bewilderment and yells at him.

With difficulty, he looks at his watch and realizes indeed how late it is.

"God, I am so sorry. I just want to talk to her, that's all. Please. Is she here?" He babbles. Oh, good God, this man is drunk.

"You are never going to even _breathe_ near her, no way to speak to her!" I get between the two of them and push him. "Now _move_. Get away from here before I call the police or I smack you." even though I would like to kick his ass while he is awake, I won't hesitate to plant a good one on him if he doesn't leave right now.

He just looks at me, not saying anything, and for a second I feel sorry for this bastard as sadness fills his features. What the hell really happened between him and Rose this time? I really need to speak with her as soon as possible. Then, as he sees that I am not changing my mind, he apologizes again and turns around. I close and lock the door after him.

"Abe, we can't let him go like this. He can barely walk straight for God's sake."

"And what should I do about that? I am not the one who made him drink so much."

"Yeah, but what if something bad happens to him?"

"Well, we can consider that karma. He'll get his payback." At my response, she presses her lips together and gives me that look that makes me feel like I am the evilest man in the world for what I just said. But how come she doesn't share my opinion? Does she feel that sorry for him? Did she change her opinion about him so fast? Well, I didn't. He has brought this thing to himself when he decided to stray. "And what should we do then? Go give him a hug to make him feel better about breaking Rose's heart again?"

And that look on her face only gets harsher. "Well, _honey._ We could let him sleep in here."

"No. Hell no." she just throws me that look again. Oh, that thing is so making its effect on me!

I puff to express my discontentment considering the situation and go after that bastard before some car might pass and spread his brains on the whole street. I find him easily, as he took a seat on the sidewalk in front of our house.

"Hey you!" he lifts his head and looks at me. "Get up. I am taking you inside."

"No Sir. I don't want to disturb you more. I'll just leave. But first, please, Mister. Just let me talk with her if she is here. I need to know."

"Know what?"

"That she is alright."

"She is."

"No, you don't get it. Those texts you got from her are not true. Please, talk to Lissa. She will tell you everything if you don't want to listen to me or trust me. But please. There is something wrong going on and Rose is missing. And we need to look for her."

"Fine. If you say so, I will trust you with this. But so help me God if you are lying to me…"

He shakes his head vigorously. "No. I am not lying to you."

"Good. I'll call Lissa right away. But for now, let's take you inside."

"No, really. I already bothered you enough. I'll just-"

"Boy, the damage is already done. And trust me. If I am not taking you inside, I might come and join you outside tonight. And I don't want that. So, come on. Get up." I grab him by his arm and help him get up. When he is standing on his feet again, I place his hand across my shoulder to support him. Damn he's heavy. I take him inside as Janine looks at me pleased. Ah, the things I do for my wife."Call Lissa. Now." Is what I tell her before heading up the stairs, taking Dimitri to get some sleep.

 **Abe's POV ends**

* * *

Okay, my situation sucks. Big time. I have just woken up again on this fucking cold hard concrete floor, still being tied up like a piece of meat. It has been a bitch of a night for me because I kept on alternating between sleeping and waking, and no matter how much I tried not to fall asleep, wanting to find a way out of here, I guess that whatever Tasha gave me to keep me out on our little trip, it is still having some effects on me because I feel so damn weak and so tired. And I hate every second of it. I hate being this powerless. Plus, I couldn't sleep right, and even when I was awake I couldn't concentrate on anything, except on things that could quell my hunger. All these delicious treats are passing through my mind and I can't make them go away. I am so fucking hungry and my stomach is protesting. And all I can think of is that my baby needs his food and I can't provide it for him.

But right now I need to focus on more important things. Like getting the hell out of here. From what I have seen, I know this: this room has no other way out than one door, that Tasha made sure to lock when she left and I have nothing to open it with. There is no window and the only way I can know what time is it is to rely on Tasha's visits, as she promised to visit me again in the morning, after her beauty sleep. There is no useful object around but a lamp that keeps the darkness away and a radiator that emits no heat. There's one other thing I know for sure: my screams and kicks have had absolutely no effect, because if they would have had any, someone outside would have heard me and I would have been free by now. But this area is too deserted. I wonder how Tasha found it.

And I am still alone. But not for long I guess because I can hear her walking around the house I suppose, as I hear her footsteps somewhere above me, just like I have heard them before. So this means it must be morning already, and as she promised last night before she drugged me some more with that sweet liquid, she'll come and eat ''with'' me.

Look, I have managed my way through life without some food before, there's no problem there. Sometimes I would avoid eating for a whole day before I would go to a school dance, just so that the dress would fit better on me and there was this camping trip I went to when I was eighteen where we ran out of food for the last two days. It was no biggie. We managed to get through with all the water we had and some berries we found around. Thank God they weren't poisonous. But even if we wouldn't have had the berries, it wouldn't have been such a big deal. The body resists more with water rather than with food anyway.

But my situation is way different than that now. I wouldn't miss the food, even though there are, as I suppose after doing some math with the facts I have, about two days, I guess, (I swear I have no idea how the time is passing and for how long I have been into this dump) since I munched on something and my stomach is protesting angrily, scratching on the inside, and I can already feel my abdomen beginning to cave in and this means no good thing. But the thirst is the one that is killing me. My mouth is dry as fuck and there is not enough saliva in it to keep my lips wet and they have begun to crack. And I can't stop myself from biting my skin off them as I am desperately looking for a way out of this empty room. The pain from this action is what is keeping me alert, keeping me focused. My throat is dry too, and it begins to be hard to swallow. Hell, who knows how I would sound if I would try to speak?

She said that she will let me like this, to starve to death. And this means that I have only a couple of days left. A normal person survives three to five days in these conditions, thank God that I learned this at my anatomy classes, right? At least I know my chances. And knowing this, it's just another reason to panic, even though I am trying to get a hold of myself as best as I can. I have always been kind of a healthy person, so, if I am extremely lucky, this means that I only have two days left before I kiss this world goodbye, because I already wasted about two of them by not eating and drinking much. Just if I am lucky enough. Tasha doesn't know, but in my stupidity, I have just helped her with her plan and cut some days from the waiting period. I need to find a way out of here fast. But how will I manage to get this door open when I can barely keep myself into a straight position?

And this fucking bitch is coming to check on me just like she did before going to sleep last night, just to see me again suffering. It's bringing her so much pleasure to see me all tied up and unable to do anything, staying pointlessly in here and waiting for my death. She unlocks the door and enters the room, a metal squeak announcing her presence, and there's a smug smile on her face I am sure of it. I am not really able to see her because I am hiding behind the door, as I hardly managed to get up on my feet and hopped my way there.

It may be a futile attempt to escape, I know, but it's the only idea that popped into my head, and honestly, there is nothing in this room that can help me. Just four cold, moldy concrete walls and a lamp I couldn't pick up with my tied hands, so yeah, my situation is not so pink right now. But I am willing to try anything to escape right now. I push the door her way and I hear the dishes falling on the floor and turning to shards with a sound that echoes into the empty room. She swears and pushes the door back towards me, opening it once more. I dodge it and get out of my hiding place, and then throw myself at her. And by some kind of divine miracle, I manage to unbalance her and put her down. I smack her a few times with my tied hands into her face, doing my best not to faint from all this effort, and she growls. I get off her as she is a little disoriented, and I know that I have no chance to get out of here on my feet, so I begin to walk on my fours out of the door as Tasha is still laying on the floor, thank God, still trying to get a hold of herself.

But who am I kidding here? I don't have enough energy to carry my body very far and I am not managing to move fast enough. My heart begins to beat faster and faster from all the effort that I am making and my chest hurts as it is very, very hard to breathe too, my airways not having enough hydration to function properly. Gosh, if I am getting out of here, I am not ever going to forget to drink water ever again. And I don't stop moving. The adrenaline has kicked in and suppressed a little the effects of what Tasha has given me last night, and I keep pushing myself. I have to get out of here and look for help. I am desperate.

But soon after I get next to the stairs I have to climb to get out of here (fucking stairs! I so didn't consider this obstacle), she catches me by my hair and she stops me. Fuck! She picks me up, turns me around and slaps me twice, then drags me back into that room. And because I wasn't a nice girl, I end up tied not only by my hands and legs, but now I am tied up to the radiator too, just like some dog, so that I won't be able to move around. Just perfect. Any chance that I got to get away now has turned to dust. How could I be so stupid to miss my chance?

In my foolish attempt to break free, I have managed to make things even worse for me. Later, when the effects of the fight or flight response from earlier begin to subside, my muscles begin to contract at their own will all over my body, including my abdomen and soon I get dry heaves that turn into real vomiting. And I end up puking my guts out on the floor, and even that is hard to do as there is only bile to be spilled out of my body and my tongue is swollen.

Considering my condition in this exact moment, I am definitely going to die in here if someone doesn't find me fast. I lean my back on the wall and soothe my belly as I cry without any tears. "I am so sorry, baby. I'm sorry for doing this to you. I promise I'll keep you safe for as long as I can."

And maybe about half an hour later, she comes back down, a harsh expression on her face. She rushes to me, crouches, and watches me, puffing angrily. She gets a hold of my cheeks with her palm, digging her fingers into my skin as she is holding me tight, and to hell if I am going to let her see that she is hurting me. I pull my head away and watch her defiantly.

"What now? Have you come to enjoy the view some more?"

She gets her hand on my face again and drags me closer to her. "You, little bitch, just gave me a bump. And you are going to pay for it."

"Yeah? What are you going to do? Kill me twice?" I speak, my voice coming out harsh and full of venom.

She laughs. "You know? You have a quite big mouth for someone who is afraid."

"I am not afraid of you Tasha. And you want to know why?"

"Please, do tell me."

"Because I know I will get out of here one way or another."

"Well, my dear, dead is the only way you're getting out of here."

"I highly doubt it."

"And why would that be? Because _Dimitri_ is maybe looking for you now, no? Well, maybe he is. But it's too late already. He won't manage to find you. You give him way too much credit. This time he won't be your hero." and she stops and looks at me for a couple of seconds, then sighs. "You know? He'll do _anything_ for you. For _you,_ and _only you._ It's all about you! And he did so many things to me to make me say the truth to him, trying to get you back. In just two weeks, he took _everything_ away from me. It was so simple for him! All my money, my job, my connections. Everything, just gone. All he had to do to get back at me was to snap his fingers and I was a nobody again. And it was a hell of a time for me. Of course, for the two weeks you have been away, he combined that with midnight calls and following arounds, just to drive me insane." oh, and I bet that worked. She is crazier than ever. "Hell, I guess he was around me for those two weeks more than he was for the past years. But I took it all. Do you want to know why? Because I knew that if I stay silent, the two of you wouldn't be together and that thing kept me going. But what you did? You just decided to come back! You ruined everything! And I just couldn't sit around not fighting back. I had to pay both of you back. I made my way back first. I found someone willing to fight Dimitri and that didn't care about whatever he could do to him. I crawled my way back." Oh, so this was the coming back thing coming from back at the agency on her door. "And from there, all I had to do was to wait for the perfect occasion to take you away from him completely. It was all ready for some time and you coming to me only made things simpler for me." so, this means that this thing would have happened no matter what? I wonder why I keep on underestimating her.

"So, what? You sold yourself for some photo-shoot? Just to get some money and to: "

"Come on Rose. It's not like you didn't do it at first. I know why you slept with him and what you were after in fact. After what you still are, in fact."

 _"No._ You are _wrong._ I would have never done such a thing. Unlike you, I have some decency. And unlike you, I don't only pretend to love him."

"Yeah, I know. And you are waaaay better than me. And look where that has gotten you. It has gotten you one step closer to death." she gets up and then out the room.

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

I am wet. Not entirely, but my face, hair and my shirt are. And the water is ice cold. I open my eyes to search for a reason, but the light around is too bright and all I can manage to do is to squint my eyes at the person in front of me. Is this Roza? I can surely feel her wonderful scent all around me. But when did she cut her hair? Who cares about that now? She is back, this is all that matters.

"I am sorry about that, but I couldn't make you wake up any other way." This is surely not her voice. I open my eyes fully and I realize that the woman facing me is Rose's mother, an empty glass in her hand and with her lips pressed together, her eyes moving up and down on me, judging me all the way. "Good thing that this worked, otherwise I would have had to punch you. Not that I wouldn't have enjoyed that. You deserve some punishment for getting Rose in so much trouble and I would gladly offer it." She continues and crosses her arms over her chest. God, Rose's parents don't like me at all and I don't think I can't blame them.

I get up on my forearms and take a look around. "How-?"

"Look how things are going to go. I still don't like you and that will not go away fast, Dimitri. But for now, we have to we need to work together to find her. After we find her, we'll see how things go. But you should pray that we find her, otherwise" she says leaning closer to me. "you are the one to blame, and I will make sure you pay for that." How can someone so small look so fierce? And maybe it's not the moment, but it's kind of funny, but I think that this woman right here is the only other woman except my mother who makes me feel anxious. Under her glare, I feel like I am seventeen again and I have done some stupid thing. But now I know where Rose got her attitude from. She resembles her mother in so many ways, not only physically speaking. More than she would ever admit. It's no wonder that two women so powerful have these conflicts. But as she speaks to me about the hurting me part, I can feel that she loves her daughter more than anything and she will do anything to keep her safe. "Understood?" I nod. And she is right. I am the one to blame for not keeping her safe and I won't forgive myself either if something happens to her. "Good, then. Here." She hands me a sweater. "Try this, it might fit you. So that you won't be wet the whole day." I thank her and take the sweater from her. "I'll let you change. Come downstairs when you are done. We need to have a talk with you." She says as she exits the room.

I rise completely and change my clothes. The sweater is a little tight, but it's not that bad. Before heading out, I take a second to look around and realize that I am in Rose's room. Every little thing in here radiates with her presence and it only makes me miss her some more. The door of her closet is open and her clothes are thrown all over the place. Just like always. The wall next to the bed is painted in black and is full of nice drawings, surely not made by her, because her drawings are so funny in comparison to these neat lines. Along the drawings, there are a bunch of photos of her and her friends. One of them is of her and Lissa, at her wedding. God, she looked so beautiful that day. I wish I could have gone there too and see her in person.

Okay, I think that I invaded her privacy for too long now and wasted enough time avoiding to go out of here. Well, here we go. Her parents must be waiting for me. I am surely going to an interrogatory now. I get out of her bedroom and head down the stairs.

I get down the stairs and find Rose's sitting at the table into the living room. But they are not alone. They are speaking with a police officer. And it's the same man I saw yesterday, the one who filed my disappearing notice. So, this means that they have found something, no? Finally. It was about time. Rose is missing for far too long already.

"There he is." Rose's father points my way and the policeman, Matthew, from what I remember, turns my way.

"Mister Belikov." He nods, greeting me. "I came here to speak with Rosemarie's parents, but you being here is even better. You are the last one who saw her, before she left home. I have already spoken with her friend, Lissa, and she told me everything she remembers. But I have some more questions for you. Is that alright? We might have a lead and I need some details from you if you can provide them."

"Yeah, sure. Everything you need."

I spend some time answering questions concerning Rose. But all in all, neither of us have no idea where she went and what her reasons might be. Or if she went somewhere willingly. She didn't show anything that could make us believe that there would be something wrong with her. In fact, she was really well when she left. Everything was alright. But then, all of a sudden, it wasn't.

Lastly, the police officer asks me if I know someone who works at a modeling agency because at night, the Manhattan police traced the last steps that Rose took and found out that that was the place she headed to after she left the hospital. And the only person I know to work in that specific place is Tasha. Of course it's all about Tasha. How come I didn't think about this earlier? I thought of all the bad things that could have happened to Rose, but Tasha wasn't one of them. I just thought I got rid of her, but here she is, haunting us again. And the police wasn't able to find her either. Nobody from that agency knew where Tasha is and the last time they saw her she was into her room with Rose.

And I find out something new too. I find out that Rose met Nina back at the hospital. I find it just today. Lissa didn't bother to fill me in with that because she thought I already knew about it, as I have told her that Rose and I were okay. Well, that was some big miscommunication. But gosh, if I would have known that earlier, everything would have been so much simpler.

Goddamnit Roza. What were you doing there in the first place? Why would you even go to her? You said you never wanted to hear about her. That she belongs to the past. Then why did you go to her?

And more important, where did that woman take you?


	60. Chapter 60

**Hello, guys! Here's the Monday update. Hope you'll enjoy it ;)**

 **And dear Guest (SM), I really appreciate your suggestions and I promise that after I finish writing this fanfic, and my schedule will get less busier, I will get reading some stories from the authors you have told me about :) I am still testing things and trying to develop a style of my own that would really represent me, and until I get there, I am going to keep on working on it**

 **Your support and reviews mean a lot to me guys and I love you so much for helping me develop my writing. Trust me, you helped me _a lot,_ just by only reading my story. You have given me so much confidence and made me want to keep on writing. Thank you so much! Lots of love and see you on Thursday! **

* * *

**Abe's POV begins**

I can't help it but just let my jaw drop to the floor. "Wait a second. What did you just say, boy?" I just can't believe what Dimitri is saying to me. I take another sip from my coffee, trying to wake up for goods, not that I would have been sleeping much lately, but because it feels like I am sleeping right now and I am having a hell of a dream. "You want to tell me that besides the fact that a crazy psycho has my daughter, she is…?"

"Yes, Sir. I thought it was fair for you to know that."

"How long?" and he avoids my eyes for a couple of seconds. "How long?!" I raise my voice but temper it soon enough, not wanting to wake up Janine. After so much time, she is finally getting some rest.

He sighs. "Three months."

And by hearing this, I can't keep my temper anymore. I get up and pace around the kitchen. " _Three months_?! Why the hell didn't she tell us earlier? Why didn't she tell us at all? What? You didn't let her?"

"No. God, no. I would never do that. Would I be telling you this now if I didn't want you to know?"

He has a point. "Then _why_?"

"Because she thought that you both would get upset about it."

"But how-" and I get why she did it. I stop moving and lean over the counter. "Because of you. Because of the fact that the baby is yours. And we..." he nods. Gosh, kiz. Maybe we shouldn't have been so hard on her. On them. Look where all of it has taken us. "So, three months." I remember how Janine and I got through her pregnancy and I wish I would have been there for my daughter somehow. To support her. To help her with whatever she might needed. I wish I would still have the chance to do so. But first, we need to find her. "How has it been so far?"

A warm smile appears on his face. "Wonderful. She-"

"What has been wonderful for the past three months?" my wife asks sleepily as she is making her way into the kitchen. "I wasn't eavesdropping or something, but I was just thirsty."

"Our daughter's pregnancy."

"Our daughter's _what_?"

 **Abe's POV ends**

* * *

Two days I suppose or maybe more, who really knows right now, since I am away from Manhattan and that means about two or more days without any food or water, right? Why was I so stubborn and didn't listen to Dimitri? I should have eaten that day. I should have taken more care of myself. At least I would have had some energy for longer. I would have been able to survive for longer.

Things have gotten worse. And they are getting worse with each passing minute. I can't even move, that's how tired I feel. I am confused for at least half the time that I am awake and even when I am awake I can't keep my eyes open as they are way too dry to even blink. And my whole body hurts. Every inch of it. Everything in my head is covered by a thick fog and I can't fucking think straight. It's like I am watching everything that is happening through a haze and I am unable to react.

Down here it hasn't been cold, either hot, but my body keeps on shifting between these states and it is so fucking annoying not to be in control of yourself. My body is shaking from all its joints now and I am waiting for the end to come. I can feel it. It's so close. I know I may sound fatidic. I am not a future teller. But everything feels so empty. This room is empty. There's no sound to fill it but my light whines. My stomach is so empty it started eating itself I suppose. My head is empty and I can't really concentrate on anything for too long. No thought lingers in my head for too long.

I hate all of this. And I hate Tasha for bringing me into this state. I want to smash this room's walls down piece by piece but I can't even lift a single finger. Because I am exhausted. I simply lay on the floor, surrounded by the stingy smell of bile and other things that have left my body for the last days, trying to ease my pain by thinking about Dimitri, focusing on his memory, and I am imagining that he is here with me, but each time I open my eyes, he is not and that breaks my heart every single time. Hell, I would even cry if I would have enough water in me to get out a tear. But I don't.

I wish that I would at least have the chance to say goodbye. To my family, to Lissa, Christian, Emily. To Dimitri. Dimitri. He seems so far away now. I can't even imagine the thought of not seeing his beautiful face anymore. I can't _bear_ the thought of not seeing him ever again, of not hearing his voice calling my name, of not feeling his gentle touch, of not being with him anymore.

But as hopeless as might I sound right now, a teeny tiny part of me still hopes that someone might find me before it is too late. It's everything that is keeping me from giving up. And my little baby too. I know I have to be strong for him and I am doing my best not to break and completely give up.

* * *

When the night comes, exactly on point, Tasha gets down here again, carrying a plate full of goods with her and as usual, nothing for me. And she brought with her a big full glass of clear water too. God, I would do anything for a drop of water in this moment. Just enough to wet my cracked bloody lips.

I don't bother to move as she gets closer to me. Not that I would really be capable of that. Just this morning she untied me from the heater, as I probably seem incapable to do any harm to her, and who can argue with that, and ever since then I have been laying on the floor and haven't moved at all, and my whole body is feeling numb. So moving means pain, and I try to avoid that at all costs. She comes and sits just in front of me and lays her plate on the floor. Tonight she is eating pizza and the slice is still hot and its wonderful smell invades my nostrils. God, if there would be any saliva left in my mouth I would begin to drool so bad.

"How's it going?"' she asks happily and then takes a bite from the greasy slice of pizza. How can she be so cruel? At her sight, my stomach begins to spasm and making loud growling sounds and this is just the response she was looking for. "Hey. Do you want some?" she mimics a real concern and without actually thinking it, my head moves up and down. She smiles satisfied. "Then beg me for it." _What_? No, I am not giving her the satisfaction of seeing me like this. "Come on. Just one sentence from you and I am willing to share this.' she passes that damn piece of food in front of my face. "And that." she points to the glass of water. "All you have to do is ask."

"Please..." I say hardly, my voice coming out as a faint whisper Her smile widens. "Please...go...fuck yourself." I stop to take a deep breath in, my throat hurting from the effort of speaking. "Go. To. Hell." At this, her previous wide smile fades and she presses her lips together. She thought that I was really going to beg her. Like that would have helped me with anything. She would have never given me a piece of that food or a sip from that glass. All she wanted was to see me defeated. Well, I am not giving up yet.

"Fine. As you wish. All you had to do was to be a good girl. But you always choose to be a bitch. And that will get you killed." and she takes the glass of water and drinks it all, gulping it down fast.

But when she finishes, she doesn't leave as usual. Instead, she sits there with me, watching me struggling to breathe, struggling to keep myself from shaking. I don't want her to see me like this so I try to get a hold of myself. If I am really going to die while she is here, then I am not going to die on my knees, figuratively speaking. So I try to get up. I will fight her until my last bit of energy is consumed. I won't let her win. I lift my head and drag my hands under me. Then, I try to push myself up but I end up down as my hands slip on the floor.

She laughs. "You are so fun to watch."

I keep on trying to get up and I finally manage to prop myself on my hands and I pin her with my glare, but then, before I do or say anything else, her phone begins to ring. The ringtone is the beginning from ''Wannabe'' by Spice Girls and I used to dance to that song when I was little, but now it is annoying the shit out of me. It's too fucking loud! Someone make it stop! It is racking my brain.

"Yeah."

"They _what_?"

"'How did they find out it's me? I was careful!" this means that I still have a chance. They know that she is the one who took me. And they must be looking for her too.

I become more attentive to her conversation and she notices me. She rises and gets to the door.

"Fuck. Do they know that I am here now?"

And this is the last thing I hear from her as the door closes behind her. But all I know now is that I still have some hope left. All I have to do is to hang in here a little longer.

* * *

Hey! Wait a second. Come on, Rose, _think_! _Think goddamnit!_ Did she lock the door after she left? She usually does, so yeah; she may have locked it now too. _No, she didn't_. _This time she didn't!_ I didn't hear any metal sounds after the door closed. It was just her, getting up the stairs. She was too absorbed by that phone call to pay any attention to the door closing behind her. And she didn't come back either. So this means that the door is still not closed. And I still have hope to get out of this damn place by myself.

I listen around the house and her movement ceased some time ago. Let's think. When she got here to eat it was about nine, I know this because she told me that this is her usual hour to eat dinner. And since she left, there must be at least two hours or two hours and a half that passed. This means that she might be sleeping in this very moment.

God, this is my chance to get out of here. My only chance.

Excitement shots though me at the thought of escaping and I gather all the energy that I have left in me, which is not much, but I rely upon the wave of adrenaline that starts spreading in my body. I begin to rub my hands trying to get out of the thick rope that is bounding them together. It hurts so much! But I can't stop. I need to break free if I want to see the light of the sun ever again. I think that I struggle for at least ten minutes and my wrists hurt so much and my dry and scaly skin begins to bleed. But with all of that, I keep pushing and I finally get rid of that rope. My wrists have gotten slimmer lately and the knot loosened. Just my luck. I move my hands into some circles and they feel like atrophied. This doesn't matter. I will get over it. I lift slowly to my butt and then I take care of the big knot that is bounding my feet together. God, was Tasha a girl scouts when she was a kid? I have never seen a knot so complex like this. When I finally untie it, my fingers are numb from all the pulling of that thick rope. But I am finally free to move.

I make my way to the door down on all fours because this is the only way I can move around. I tried sitting up on my feet but I get too nauseous and I might fall. And I can't afford to make any noise. I need to be as quiet as I can. While I reach the door, I pray to any god that is out there to listen to me and make the door actually be open. I extend my hand up and place it on the doorknob. Please, please, please. I slowly pull it down and the door opens with a click. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!

I move out of the way and fully open the door, as slowly as I can. And fuck! It still squeaks, as always, no matter how hard I tried. But it wasn't that loud. And maybe from down here, she couldn't hear it. I wait for a whole minute in search of a reaction and when there is none, I make my way out on the hallway. And as clear air fills my lungs, I feel better. No miracle happened, but I feel one percent better. And I can live with this. I drag myself to those damn stairs. Here I am. Now I must climb them somehow. I search for the best approach and I find it. I turn my back to them and place my hands on the first step. Then I push myself up and drag my butt backward, landing with it on the first step. Yay! I made it. More of them to go.

When I reach the last stair, my hands are ready to give in. They hurt so badly and all my muscles are shaking. But I really made it up. And this is all that matters. I get on my hands and knees again and travel all the way to the table in the center of the room. I look on it and I don't find anything that could help me. Fuck!

I look at the clock on the wall. 11:32. So I was right with my assumption. Focus Rose. This is not important. The time won't matter when you'll be dead.

I lean my back on the table to steady my breath and look around the room. What are my chances? I need to analyze everything. First, I can't get out of here, this is sure. I need to keep it real. The windows look very old and if I try to open them I will make a lot of noise. And even if I will manage to open it without any sound, it would be very hard for me to get out. The door is surely closed as I saw Tasha carrying a bunch of keys with her. And of course, the keys are with her, upstairs. And I can't go there to take them as she will surely hear me. Plus, she is not stupid after all. Today I just got lucky because she slipped and in her hurry to get away from me, she forgot to lock that door. Plus, if by some miracle I get out of this house, it would take me an eternity to crawl away from the house, and the area is pretty deserted so there will be no help for me nearby. So, I need to tell someone where I am. And in order to do that, I need a phone. There is none on the table that I just checked and the only option I might have in this room is the little table where is the TV. Maybe there is a landline there. So I get moving again.

And the gods are with me again because I find my phone there. But it is shut down. Fuck! Please just don't be discharged. I only need it for a minute, please. I open it and it makes that loud sound that telephones make when you open them. NOOOO! Gosh! This is terrible! I need to move fast now. I speed dial the first person I can think of. The only phone number I know by heart. I hear a squeak coming from the other side of the house, from upstairs. It's Tasha! No, please! This cannot happen! Not when I am so close!

The phone begins to ring. Once. Please, just answer already! Twice. I need you so much! Thr-

"Roza? Is that you?" God, I would still have some water in me I would begin to cry. I missed hearing his voice so much. But I need to be composed and remember why I called him in the first place. I don't know how much time I have until Tasha gets down here. For a second, as I hear his voice, my mind goes blank. Fuck, I guess that my brain is really dry by now. Oh, yeah, I remember what I had to do!

"Write this down now." And he doesn't ask for any explanation and I tell him all the streets that we passed before getting to our final destination, so that he would know which way we headed. God, I chanted their name in my head every hour of the day so that I wouldn't forget them. And it worked! I never thought I would have the chance to say them out loud, but here I am.

But I don't get to tell him where I am now. The door of the living room opens completely and Tasha comes my way fast and grabs me by my hair, picking me up and I yelp as pain shots through me. Gosh, she is acting with me like I would be an inanimate object. On the background, I hear Dimitri calling my name over and over again. Before she can grab the phone out of my hand I begin to yell the name of the street I am on, praying to God that he could hear it. My throat soon begins to hurt, from all the lack of water and all the screaming, but I don't stop shouting the street name until she ends the call, throws my phone away and drags me out the door and takes me back to that infect place downstairs.

 **DPOV begins**

Fawn Street. Roza is somewhere on Fawn Street. And she is hurting. Tasha will pay for all of this. She will pay for every single second of hurting that she brought to Rose.

The first thing I do is to call Matthew and let him know all the street names Rose made me write down. He announces me that they are going to send a team there as fast as they possibly can and that I shouldn't worry, that they are going to find her. Yeah, if that is even possible, for me not to worry. Ever since I got that text from her I am constantly worrying for her and I won't stop until I see her being safe. And to hell if I am going to stand here and wait patiently, doing nothing. I am going there too and nothing and nobody can stop me.

I call Stan too and make him find that place she is kept into. And to my luck, the place is 45 minutes away. It's a good thing that Rose's parents made me stay with them in town after all. If I would have gone back to Manhattan, there would have been nothing that I could have done to get to that place now and it would have driven me insane.

I get into my car and drive as fast as I can, pushing the speed pedal each time I get the chance, driving like crazy on the empty streets. I manage to get there in only half an hour, which saved me fifteen minutes in which I can do something. But it may still be too late. Who knows what Tasha is doing to Rose right now, now that she knows that we know where she is. I pray to God that she won't try to switch places. It would be so cruel to not know where she is again. It would be so bad for Tasha to get away again and for her to still have Rose. If we lose Tasha, we lose Rose too.

When I get there, some police cars are already searching the street. And it's a long fucking street with a lot of damn houses. And as Rose couldn't tell me the number of the house, it's a tricky thing to find her. There must be at least fifty houses, if not more. And even though there are a lot of police officers here that are pairing up and knocking on doors and searching into the houses, the search might take too much time. Time that we don't have. Time that _Rose_ doesn't have.

I get back into the car and help the search team. It's the only thing I can do. They are taking the houses one by one, knocking from door to door, going in and searching, but this is time-consuming. I get ahead of them and look past the other houses that they didn't reach yet. I look for something that might indicate to me the place where she is. Hell, I even hope that I would be able to _feel_ her; this is how desperate I am to find her.

Some of the houses I reach at the end of the street look deserted and I head their way. I don't remember Tasha owning a house so maybe she took over one of these ones. I am passing now for the second time in front of those damn houses, on foot, so that I would be able to observe things better. So that I would be able to get inside each of them and search under every brick if this is what it takes. I will search through each of the hoses until I find her. Because I am sure she is still here. Call it a gut feeling, but I know she didn't leave this area. All I need to do now is to find that damned house.

Then, as I round a corner and look in between two houses, I see it. I remember this.

 **DPOV ends**

No matter how much I try to get a hold of the banister, I get dragged down by Tasha on those stairs and the rush she is pulling me with is damaging my body even more as I feel like I am ready to break in half if I sit on my legs for far too long. My weight is too much for me to carry right now, but still, I do it. I have no other chance. It's a miracle that none of my legs has broken by now because I misstepped on almost every stair and I was so close to falling down a couple of times, but I knew that this can never happen and I forced my body to keep itself into a straight position. She finally takes me back into the room and as soon as I pass the door frame, my legs give in and I fall on my knees. And I am thinking that this was it. She will leave me here. But she doesn't let go of me. She gets me back up to my feet, holding me by my cheeks and squeezing them hard with her hand, making me look her in the eyes.

"You just couldn't sit in one fucking place, couldn't you?" and pushes me down and as my feet are like spaghetti, I land on my ass on the floor. "How did you even get out of here?!"

"The door." I whisper out of my breath and weird enough, smiling. The things look bad for me. But I am happy that I managed to tell Dimitri where I am. I just hope that I will still be breathing when he gets here.

"What? Speak the hell up!"

I repeat myself. "You forgot to lock it." I say and chuckle.

Her eyes widen and her jaw drops for a split of a second as he realizes the mistake she has done. "Fuck!" she kicks the air with her foot. "And now you called him! You just don't know when to give up, no?" no, the one who didn't give up is you, you fucking bitch. You did so many things to me. To us. If she would have stopped when we told her to, none of us would have been in this situation now. I wish that she would just die. I hate her so much! But it seems that the one who is doing the death part is me, not her.

I just lay down on the floor completely, all my muscles hurting, and I am looking at her looking back at me. And I can see it in her eyes. This was it for me. It's the end of the road. I can't fucking move anymore. I can't do anything. I am totally powerless. I just wish I could do something...

And we sit there for some minutes, looking at each other, only silence filling the space between us. A silence that smells like death. A silence that's killing me more than any words of hers would right now. Then, her expression changes as there is an idea that passes through her sick mind and even a small grin spreads on her lips. Why do I sense that I won't like it at all?

"Well, then this means that I should hurry your death, no? No matter how much I would enjoy seeing you starve to death, dying slowly and painfully, that is obviously not going to happen because not even for once, you can't do the right thing and do as you are supposed to do. You always have to do things your way, no? But not this time, Rose. This time things will go my way. And we don't really want for him to come here and find you still breathing, no? I mean, why did we even bother until now?" oh my God. What is she going to do to me now? My head fills with a crumbling fear as I start thinking about all the ways in which this crazy woman could end my life. Drowning me. Cutting me and letting me bleed to death. Suffocating me. Throwing me off the roof. Beating me to death. Breaking every hone inside my body. Who knows what her twisted mind can come with?

But nothing happens for now. She goes out of the room and she doesn't come back for some time. Can I hope that she forgot about me? In the time she has been away, I calm down and get back to breathing normally. But she didn't forget about me. After some time of me waiting for her, who knows how much time really passed ever since I am sitting here with only my dark thoughts to keep me company, she comes back, holding something metallic in her hand, the material shining into the dim light thrown by the lamp situated at the corner of the room. What the hell is that? She gets closer to me and finally reveals to me what she is carrying around. In fact, she is making a little parade with that object, walking it slowly in front of my eyes. It's a small kitchen knife.

"You know?" she says looking at the blade, analyzing its sharpness. God, you can feel the madness radiating from her in this moment. It's filling the air inside this damn room. "I thought about that cutting thing I talked with you the other day and now it seems a pretty good idea to speed things up, don't you think? I mean… it's fast, it's easy to do, and most of all, it's painful for you. Just perfect, right?"

I am very, very scared of what might come and I just can't hide it anymore. My system gets again overflowing with adrenaline and I try to crawl away from her and as she watches me struggle, she just begins to laugh. Hearing her maniacal laughter enrages me so much and I decide I had enough of her. I turn myself on my back and with the last drop of energy I have I extend my leg fast in her direction, kicking her into her stomach. Hell, if I can't get out of her I can at least hurt her a little. To pay her back for all the hurting she has been putting me through.

My gesture doesn't bring me any good but I don't care and I try to kick her once more but she catches my foot and pins it on the floor, and then she comes on top of me, sitting on my hips and pinning me down to the floor completely. "You fucking bitch! How dare you?!" she yells and slaps me hard, making little black spots appear in front of my eyes.

After this, I hear her talking but I can't understand a thing that she is speaking. It's all just random words that I can't manage to put into sentences. And she is moving her hand up and down in front of me, always getting the blade close to my cheek. What is happening here? I just zoned out for a second. No, wait, I understand. I think I do, at least. But it is so hard to follow. All I know is that she wants to hurt me. Of course she does. It's not like everything she did since I know her was directed towards me with the intention to bring me pain. And so help me God, the things she wants to do to me now are horrible and the way in which she is depicting them to me is making my stomach knot.

I try to fight her as best as I can but it's pointless. She takes off my hoodie and the gross T-shirt that I have been wearing for these past days and I remain topless in front of her. A mischievous smile comes across her lips as she sees my ribs popping through my skin on the sides of my body and I take a look at myself too, the sight of my bones and my round belly making me want to cry. I lost so much weight lately and this is not a good thing at all. All I can do now is pray to God that someone will come for me. Then, she gets the knife out of her back pocket, where she put is as she was undressing me.

I close my eyes and try to think of something that might soothe the pain that is soon to come, but nothing pops in my head. And she is still speaking to me but I don't want to listen as I know that she is anyway doing this to scare me even more and I am already terrified. I don't want to die. I just want to get out of here and go back to my loved ones.

I open my eyes and look at her, begging her silently with my glance, but she doesn't even notice me. "Now it's time to play. So let's play." She says and brings the sharp object closer to the skin on my abdomen. She pushes it into my skin and my muscles contract, trying to make the pain go away. I don't even have the power to make a sound as the pain shots though me. Not my baby, please. Cut me anywhere, but not there. I don't want to lose him.

And I beg her to stop as the cold blade of the knife is splitting the top layer of my skin, the thick hot blood coming out the cut and flowing down on my abdomen. She lifts the knife for a second and looks at me bleeding slowly, being very pleased with herself. Is she done? Please someone just stop her. And God, she isn't done and just decides to go even deeper, pushing the tip of the knife just where the thin skin is spreading across my ribs. The thing is now drawing a circular shape on my body and I whimper at her every move.

I don't know how far or how deep she got or how bad my flesh looks because my body finally began to give in after so much time without any source of energy and from all the pain that she inflicted to me right now and I am not feeling anything. I am completely numb.

"Please Tasha, just let me-" die is what I want to say but things get too foggy inside my head and my eyes close and no other words get out of my mouth. The last things I hear are some muffled bumps, but I can't concentrate on them. Everything gets heavy and my eyelids are too hard to open. I'm slipping away and it's so hard to keep on to life. I can't do it anymore. I can't. It hurts too bad. It would be so much simpler to let go.

 **DPOV begins**

It is Tasha's other car, the one she rarely uses. She almost never used it before. But here it is. She tried to hide it between some trees, but it is right here in front of my eyes. So this must be the place where she is hiding Rose. This house it the I was looking for. And if the car is still here, this means that they are still inside. She wouldn't have had how to get Rose away from here without her car.

I announce Matthew about my finding. And again, he tells me to wait for them to come. I can't just wait for them. Who knows how far they are anyway and how much it will take them to come here? I can't sit here. If Rose is in there now I am not waiting for anyone, not even for a second. I am going in there on my own and I am going now.

The front door is easy to break in spite of being locked because it is made from wood and it is rotten. I enter and find myself into a darkened house. Which way should I head now? I can't waste time looking everywhere. But I don't have to search everywhre because I hear one of Rose's muffled whimpers. I make my way through the living room and listen. And I hear her pain again. It's coming from somewhere downstairs. I run that way and after I descend some stairs I get to the place where the sound is coming from. The door is already open and I stop shocked in the doorframe. First, it's the smell that hits me. It's a weird combination of sour and pungent that is making me sick to my stomach. What happened down here? But what I see is a hundred times worse. It's an image taken out of a horror movie.

I have expected for things to be bad from what I heard in Rose's voice. But in my entire life, I wouldn't have thought that I would see what I am seeing now. No amount of anything could have prepared me for seeing this. I have never considered Tasha capable of doing something like this. But here I have the proof.

Right in front of me, laying on the floor is Rose, not moving at all like she would… _NO. She is not dead. It cannot happen._ On top of her is Tasha, a _knife_ in her hand? Yes, I can see the light reflecting on its blade. And around them, spread on the floor is blood. _Rose's blood._

I take one step closer and Tasha notices my presence. She hears me moving. Her head snaps my way and I can't recognize this woman anymore. Her face is a pure mask of madness.

"Stop right there or I will hurt her!" What more can she do already?

I waste no more time and cover the distance between us fast, giving her no time to react, I grab her arm and pull her up, shaking her hard into the process. She tries to push me away, but I slam her hard into the wall next to me and with a whimper she collapses on the floor. And she doesn't move. Good, she won't bother me for now.

I get on my knees next to Rose and her hot blood is soaking my pants right on my knees. And God, she is still not moving. I pick her up and cuddle her to my chest but her body just hangs flaccidly in my arms. _Come on, Rose. Don't do this to me_. And she is so so small and her skin is so cold to touch. Please ,my love, don't die. Hang in there just a little longer.

"Roza? Roza?" I try to reach her and I gently shake her body. But she still doesn't react. _Goddamnit!_ "Please stay with me. I am here Roza."

I pull her even closer and bring her nose and mouth closer to my ear. And there I can feel the smallest breath ever brushing on my skin. She is still alive!

 **DPOV ends**

I must be having some close to death dream or something like that, maybe it's just my brain that is trying to slowly drag me into nothingness with a sweet lie because there is someone that is holding me tight into their warm embrace and is rocking me lightly. It feels like I am into my mother's embrace as I was a kid. And it feels so good. There's no more pain. Everything is so good. But this someone is humming. My mother didn't use to be humming. But this is the most beautiful song I have ever heard in my entire life. And this voice is so soft. Hey… I know this voice! I would recognize it anytime. It's Dimitri. Yes, I am definitely dreaming. But at least in my dream he is with me. And like this, in his arms and with him singing me this beautiful lullaby, I know I can die peacefully. I can finally let go.

But where do I know this song from? I have never heard it before. How is my mind inventing this song? I swear I haven't heard it before. But before I can make some sense of it, the melody stops. And there is someone speaking to me now. And I feel little hot drops falling on my face and making their way down my neck.

"Milaya, _please_ stay with me a little longer. Someone will come soon. Please don't leave me."

It's Dimitri! And he is here. For real, this is no dream. And I need to get back to him. Right away. I must. I can't leave. I want to see him again.

 **DPOV begins**

Someone puts a hand on my shoulder and I turn around ready to punch anyone who is there, but I meet Matthew's face. They got here. Finally! It was about time!

Some people get Rose out of my arms and I need to fight the urge of wanting to keep her close to me because I know they need to take care of her and I know that keeping them from doing that will only get things worse. I get out of their way and take a few steps back, but I don't take my eyes off her, not even for a second. I am not getting my eyes off her ever again. The people around her are all doing something, moving hastily. One of them is intubating her, pushing a plastic tube down her small throat and I am afraid that it might do some damage to her body but I keep my distance because they need to do what they know better. Some other one is injecting something into her blue veins and another is covering the crimson wounds on her body, the blood beginning to stain the blinding white of the gauze. God, please just take care of my Roza. Make her be alright. They pull her weakened body onto a stretcher and for the very first time I hear her making a sound, the faintest moan, but even if it is coming from all the pain she is feeling, I am happy to hear her because this means that she is still alive. Two men carry her towards the door and I turn around to follow them.

"Is she dead?" someone asks full of hope and I snap my head in that direction. Who would dare to ask a thing like this? Tasha. She woke up. I turn around and get to her in a second and push away the men that were trying to take care of her and I pick her up, pushing my hand into her neck. Her face is full of fear as she is gasping for air and she surely has a reason to be afraid.

"No she is not, but you are." And I want to hurt her so badly, my whole body boiling with anger and I know I am so close to losing it and doing something I might regret when my thought clear out but I don't care at all and I want so bad to do it, but I don't get the chance because three men drag me away before I get to do what I was planning to do.

 **DPOV ends**


	61. Chapter 61

**DPOV begins**

I can't get that image out of my head. Seeing her laying on that floor, not moving at all, I thought that I lost her forever. If I would only got there faster, maybe things wouldn't have gotten this far. This is the only thing that comes to my mind as I pace back and forth on the too lighten up hallway of the emergency room, waiting for someone to get out that damn door and tell us something. It's already been too long since they got her in there. Why is taking them so much time? We're all dying to know out here.

Lissa comes my way and speaks to me, but I can't listen to what she tells me. It's hard to focus on anything right now. But then she takes my hand.

"Lissa, what are you doing?"

"I am taking care of your arm." my arm? What is wrong with my arm? I look at it as she's holding it and the sleeve of my shirt is ripped and bloody. And underneath that, is a long cut, along my forearm, probably made by Tasha. I didn't notice it. And I thought that the blood on it was Rose's, so I didn't bother.

"No, leave it. It doesn't hurt."

"Dimitri, let her take care of it. It might get infected. Who knows what that woman did with that knife before." Rose's mother comes our way and speaks, concern filling her voice. So I decide not to argue and let Lissa do her thing. I don't want to do anything that might upset her. The poor woman didn't sleep properly for the last days, as any of us here, and she has been silently crying all the time since they got here, nobody being able to calm her, her red eyes having dark circles underneath them. She is living the worst time of her life, being so close to having lost her daughter. And as we still don't know anything, none of us can get any relief.

And then, without anything else to do but worry, the five of us wait. And it seems like the time doesn't want to pass fast enough. It's like it is passing at the slowest pace possible, just to mess with us, to see for how long we can take it. And the nurses that keep on getting in and out the emergency room don't help us either because they won't utter a thing to us no matter how many times we ask them, and their faces are as blank as a piece of paper, expressionless.

But after a while that seems to have lasted a century, the door opens and the doctor exits. Finally! He heads towards her parents and all I have to hear from him is that Rose is stable for now, that they have taken care of her and. This means she is fine. That she is out of any danger. I get past a nurse that wants to exit too and she tries to tell me that I am not allowed in there but I don't care at all and get in. I need to see her.

I pass through lots of beds with people in suffering and finally get to hers, at the end of the room. I stop at the edge of the bed she is sleeping in and look at her. She still looks so small. Even smaller than she appeared to be down in that basement. In this bright light, I can observe her better. I can see all the ways in which she changed past these three awful days. Her eyes have receded back into their orbits, her once full cheeks are now hollower, her cheekbones being prominent, and her collarbones are popping up like there would be no flesh to cover them. She looks like a ghost of who she was, as her skin is still very pale and you can see through it her bluish veins spreading like a web. But from now on, she can only get better. Because nothing will get worse. She has been through too much already.

I want to touch her, but the door on the other side of the room opens and a man from the security enters, coming straight to me.

"Mister, I have to ask you to-"

At least I got the chance to see her. I can live with this for now. All I have to do now is to go out and ask her family a question that I am afraid to ask. "I am going to leave. I didn't want to cause any trouble. I just wanted to see her for a second."

His eyes land on her and his expression changes, anguish filling his features. "N-no. Gosh... I'll…I'll give you five minutes. That's the best I can so. But this stays between us." He says and goes back out.

So I take advantage of every second I have and take a seat next to the bed and cup her fragile hand with mines. Her skin isn't so cold to touch anymore. This means that she is getting better, I try to convince myself with each passing second because I can't imagine a situation in which things will get worse. And even though she is sedated, I speak to her and caress her cheek until the nurse comes to me and informs me that I have to get out.

So, when my time is over, I get up and head outside. But then I turn right back and go to the nurse. "Excuse me, but I need to ask you something."

"Yeah, sure."

I take a deep breath in and pray to God to get the answer I want to hear. "Is our baby alright?"

 **DPOV ends**

I either died and went to heaven which is highly improbable because there was this one time when I was ten and I stole that cute purple pen from one of my classmates and then pretended to help her look for it, which, from what I know, qualifies as a sin, no? I mean, even though I was only ten, I stole. But to my defense, it was a really cute pen and had a little pink elephant on it and she had two of them and I thought that she won't miss the one that I took. Oh, and I had sex before getting married. Like a lot of it. I mean, how can you not sin when a man like Dimitri comes your way and starts kissing you and undressing you? Trust me. You can't say no. Oh, or there was this one time whe- nah. I'd better not tell you that. It's not the time to confess all my sins. It's either that, the going to heaven thing, or somehow, by some miracle, I actually survived all that Tasha shit because someone has been listening to my prayers.

And why do I think that? Because after my nostrils accommodate themselves with the strong disinfectant smell of the hospital I am in and after I feel every inch of my body hurting like I have been running a marathon for the past days, the first thing that I see when I open my eyes is Dimitri's beautiful face. My beloved Dimitri. I thought that I would not see him ever again. But still, here he is. He is sitting on a chair next to my bed and he has that concentrated expression on his face that I love so much as he is looking down at my hand which he is holding into his and he's tracing the outline of my palm with his fingers. I move my thumb and catch his moving one. His eyes widen and he lifts his gaze up.

"Milaya?" he asks surprised, his eyes starting to glint at my sight but oh, past that he looks so tired. I have never seen him with such dark circles under his eyes. On the background, someone gasps and I look past him and I see four low faces looking back at me, neither of them looking better than Dimitri, but at my sight, their faces light up too. Gosh, the things these people must have been through just because of my stupidity. They must have been worried sick. I smile weakly as I catch each of their gazes, feeling the skin of my lips cracking slightly and I want to say something. I have so many things to tell them, so many apologies to make.

"He-" I begin to cough. Hell, I feel like someone forced a branch down my neck but I don't remember Tasha choking me or something. "H-hey." I finally say after I calm down and drink some of the water that Dimitri has given to me. Everybody around smiles and I move my eyes back on Dimitri and he too gives me one of those heartwarming signature smiles of his and kisses the inside of my palm. My family comes closer to my bed and I want to say something more but our moment is rudely interrupted by the nurse who has come to check on me. And when she sees that I am awake, she rushes everybody out and calls the doctor to take a look at me.

They tell me that I have been out for two days after they have brought me here. And that I lost about twelve pounds while I was down there. The worst of it is that I lost some big part of my muscle mass. Despite the fact that I was looking fatter because of my pregnancy, I didn't really have much fat on me and in order to survive, my body did what it had to do and produced the energy I needed to stay alive. To be sincere, it's a miracle for me that I even got out of there, considering everything that happened to me and the terrible hunger and thirst that I was experiencing. The doctor told me too that I was extremely lucky. A few more hours in those conditions and I would have had to kiss this world goodbye because they brought me back from the verge of dying and no one knows how that feels better than me. But gosh, hearing Dimitri's voice was what got me back because I was so ready to give up. And I have never been a religious fanatic or something like that, but at least now I know that somewhere out there is a God that took care of me. Of us, I hope. I haven't gathered enough courage to ask the doctor or the nurse about the baby because I am not ready to hear a no for an answer. It would break me to my core to know that I have lost my baby. So for as long as they are checking me, I don't say anything, I just listen to them and respond to their questions by moving my head yes or no. And to my luck, they don't mention anything about the baby but I can't tell if this is a good or a bad thing. But I am not feeling ready to find right away.

No. In fact, I am talking shit. The only thing I asked the doctor was what he did to me as I didn't have the courage to look down and see for myself as he was examining me and changing my bandage and he informed me that he made around fifty stitches to keep my skin together. _Fifty?_ I mean, that is a fucking lot! What did Tasha even do to me to earn so many stitches? God, was she going to butcher me? And if so, did she reach too deep? What if she did and… No. I can't bear this thought.

I haven't seen my face yet but from the looks I get from my parents and friends every time they lay their eyes on me, I guess that I look pretty bad. Well, not pretty bad. _Really bad._ And that makes me consider if I should grab a mirror or not and for the moment, I decide not to do it. I don't feel ready to acknowledge what that woman has done to me. It's more than enough that I can see that the skin on my body looks thinner and I can see the edges of my bones on my hands and each and every bluish vein in my body and at every move I make the bandages on my ribs move too and it hurts like hell, bringing m on the verge of crying, but I guess that I am still a little dehydrated or something like that because even though I feel the urging need to cry, no tear falls.

After I wake up, on that day, I don't get to spend as much time as I wish with Dimitri or any other person that has been here because I am constantly sleepy and I can't focus and I often fall asleep but now I am struggling to keep my eyes open and talk with him as he's the only one left in my room, as the others have gone back home to get changed or to take care of Emily, and Dimitri the one who has never left my side. I swear that each time I got up, the persons into the room have changed, but he is a constant. And I want so bad to talk with him because I guess it's time to find out. And from all the people who could tell me the truth, I prefer him to do it, no matter how bad it would be.

But the words don't want to come out so for now, I resume to watching him, doing my best to keep my eyes open. Gosh, I missed seeing him so much. "Rose, you should get some more sleep. You need it." I shake my head. "I'll be here while you'll sleep. I'll be here when you wake up. I am not going anywhere." He assures me and he walks his hand over mine. "Is that okay?"

I nod. That is more than okay. I never want him to leave. He makes me feels safe. "But…"

"What happened? Do you need something?"

"No. It's not that."

"Then what happened? Tell me. Is there something wrong?" he gets way too worried.

"Is…" my voice cracks. I can't say this out loud. I take his hand and place it over my abdomen for the first time ever since I woke up. I didn't even have the courage to do this all by myself. But as I have my palm on top of his, I feel his palm rounding on my flesh along with mine. "Is…" I sigh and look at him pleadingly, hoping that he would understand what I am trying so hard to find out.

He soothes my abdomen and brings his other hand up to put some strands behind my ear. "Oh, milaya. The doctor didn't tell you?" I shake my head. "And I thought you knew…" I pray to God that things would be alright. And they are because he smiles. "The baby is fine, Rose. She is as strong-willed as her mother. She is a little fighter."

I look at him confused. _"She?"_

He nods and comes closer to me, placing a little kiss on my temple. "Yes, our baby girl." she; can you imagine this? We're having a baby girl. Who cares that I was wrong with my gut feeling about having a boy? Our baby is fine.

"But isn't there anything wrong?" he shakes his head. "I mean, _nothing at all_? Nothing that's missing? Nothing?"

"No. Nothing. Somehow, your body provided her almost everything she needed." and I can't be happier about it. I am glad that I managed to keep her safe.

"But what about the things she missed? Didn't that affect anything on the long term? Hell, didn't they affect anything now?"

"The doctor said that we shouldn't worry too much about that. He gave you a prescription of vitamins and other food supplements and he said that if you'll take them, there is a very little chance for anything bad to happen. The baby will be completely fine. Plus, he's used to dealing with things like these."

"Things like these? Do you mean…" how can someone be used to pregnant women being taken away and starved to death?

"Not with _that."_ he picks on immediately on what I am thinking about. "Just with pregnant women not eating enough. Or not eating at all."

"Why would someone do something like that?"

He shrugs. "Some of them don't want to get fat?" he says with uncertainty.

I almost laugh but I stop when I feel a small shot of pain through my ribs. "That's very fucking stupid." how can someone put their baby through something like this just for the sake of their silhouettes? Knowing what pains I have been through by not eating, I don't want to feel that ever again.

"But what matters is that he is sure that all of this won't affect our baby." and I can't hear better words today. It's all I wished, everything I prayed for as I was laying on that cold floor.

I smile widely. "That's good." I don't know what else to say. I feel like I have been blessed twice when it comes to this baby.

"Yes, Roza. That's very good. But you need to get some rest too, so that your body would gain more strength. So now, come on, go to sleep." he gets back to his old bossy self and and I don't argue anymore because indeed, I am very tired. But I am so happy too!

* * *

And as I sleep, I get dragged back to that damned day. And it feels so real. It's like I have never left. What if all this hospital thing was just a dream of what I was so badly hoping to happen and, in fact, I have never left that stink hole in the first place? Please, someone tell me it isn't true.

But I am still laying on the cold concrete floor, I can feel its roguish material scratching the skin of my back, my bones being pushed into it by a weight bigger than mine, I can still feel the stinky, moldy smell in the room hurting my nose and as I open my eyes, I see that Tasha is still on top of me, a maniacal expression on her face. Good God, this can't be true. I am still there!

"What should I start with? Do you have any suggestions?" she says as she passes the back of the knife on my cheek and pushing its tip a little into my flesh, but not enough to cut me. "This would be a good idea. To mess up with your _pretty face_." She says her voice full of disgust. "Or what about this?" she continues and presses a finger on my ribs. God, everything hurts already! If she will decide to cut me, no matter where, the pain will only get worse. "I mean, if I reach deep enough…" she doesn't finish the sentence but I know what she is suggesting and only that thought brings goosebumps on my skin. "What do you say? No preferences? I'll let you pick the first area, I promise." I try very hard, but I can't move or speak. I want to tell her so many things but I simply can't. "Fine. Then we'll let the fate decide. We have so many areas we can pick from. And we'll get to all of them eventually, but we just need a start." She says shaking her shoulders like she doesn't care. But how? Is she going to close her eyes and cut me blindly?

She places the top of the knife on my cheek. "Eeny," moves it down on my abdomen. "meeny," and up again. "miny, mo..." and she sings all that stupid song and ends up eliminating my face. "Aw, too bad. I really wanted to start with that one. But a game is a game, right? I'll be happy with what I get for now. But we'll get to that pretty face of yours later." she stops and looks me dead in the eyes. "He will never think you are beautiful again. You'll be _ugly_ to him. Of course, when he will find you the things I am going to do to you now won't matter anymore. Maybe he won't even be able to recognize you after I am done with you. I am going to make you my piece of art, Rose. You should feel flattered." my intestines twist. I think that on a normal day I would have puked already. But now, my stomach is completely empty for days and there is nothing that can get out of my dry mouth except some agonizing whimpers. "Of course, if he finds you. Maybe the decomposition would have already taken care of you. Who knows if he is even looking for you?" she says trying to break my hopes and it works a little. What if no one comes? What if he gets here too late? What if it's too late for me?

Her hands go down and she lifts my hoodie and my T-shirt, getting rid of them and leaving me only in my bra. "Let's play." I try to catch her hand into an attempt to stop her, but all I manage to do is to get a cut on my palm and then she pushes my hand out of her way and she smiles as she pushes the blade into my skin.

As I feel the pain shooting through me I let out a whine and I open my eyes and I want to rise but someone stops me and lays me back in bed. So it was indeed a dream. But gosh, it felt so real. My heart is racing and I am sweating and I feel almost as bad as I did back then.

"Hey. Hey, Roza, calm down." Dimitri soothes me with his calm voice and raises his hand and wants to place it on my cheek but at the last moment, he decides not to do it. Instead of that, he takes my hand into his and brings it to his mouth and kisses my knuckles. "Everything is alright. I am here, milaya. Nothing bad will ever happen to you, okay? You're safe now." yeah, I am.

* * *

What am I, a circus attraction? My room is now full of flowers and get well soon cards and boxes of chocolates that unfortunately I am not allowed to eat. Not that I don't appreciate it, but I get visits from everyone in town, as they have brought me into the hospital in my hometown, as it was the closest one, and that gets really tiring for me, to have to speak to so many people. Hell, even people that don't even know me come here, maybe just to watch me or something. Creepy things like these don't happen often into small towns like this one. I see people that I haven't seen in years. Even Mase comes, a thing that doesn't upset me. But seeing so many people hovering in my face and speaking to me every single minute is so damn tiring! They try to be nice to me but all I want is to be left alone. Well, not completely alone. I just want my loved ones to be with me. That would be enough. What surprises me most is that Ivan comes to visit me too. He was in Manhattan and when he heard about everything that happened from Dimitri, he came to see me. And he was so nice. I kind of missed his funny personality. And he brought me a fuzzy pair of socks with ducks on them, as he heard me constantly complain about my always cold extremities as I was in Russia. It's so nice to see that people actually listen to what you say. And that is like the only useful gift I received for the time I have been into the hospital.

On the fourth day after I wake up, I just get to begging Dimitri to take me out of the hospital. I can't stay in this place anymore. A day in plus is too much for me already. All this sterility around me makes me sick and I feel so ill just by being here. I have never stood to stay in a hospital. This place is making me feel worse rather than good, no matter how many flowers they get me or no matter how many people visit me. All I want and need now is to go home. So my dear Dimitri listens to me (after a long session of convincing and even pleading and me telling him that I am fine and that I won't die if I get out of the hospital) and he talks to the doctors. And he convinces them somehow that if he would take me back to Manhattan, there they have bigger and better hospitals and if something bad would happen to me, they would manage to take better care of me and they decide to let me go, even though they still had some reticences about that, and I don't know what he did, but it worked. Isn't he resourceful? He always knew how to use his words.

And they finally let me go home after I sign some stack of papers at my own risk in case something happens to me because I left the hospital earlier than I should but I would do anything for them to let me go so I sign them all without even bothering to read a single line on them and in addition to that, I have to promise them that I am going to go to a psychologist too. Pfff. Yeah, sure. Who the fuck needs a psychologist? I am fine. There's nothing wrong with my head. Anyway, I was desperate to get out of that place so I told them that I would find a psychologist to go to eventually, but I don't really plan to go to one. My brain is just fine. My body it the fucked up one. And bodies heal eventually, don't they? And I am already feeling so much better so why should I bother with useless things?

But I don't go home right away. Because my parents insist on me and Dimitri to hang around for some time and I don't want to upset them, even though all I want is to go back home to my safe haven with Dimitri, and even he is on their side and suggests me that it may do me some good to be closer to my family after so much time of being away from them and everything that happened lately between us, so I give in and agree to spend some days back into my house.

And staying here for three days does me good. I get to talk to my parents the proper way and we all say sorry for our stubbornness and things between us get back to normal and we share some good moments into the hours that I am not sleeping because this is what I do for the most of the day, as I am still feeling tired, but things are getting better and my energy level is getting back on track. But things aren't as good as I thought they would. Why you would ask. Because I can practically _feel_ their worry for me every second of the day, every time they look at me or talk to me and especially when I get out of the bed, on the too rare occasions I am allowed to do so, aka, the times I have to pee and those times only because those are the only times I am even allowed to move at all because everyone insists that I shouldn't consume too much energy and other stuff they brought into discussion only to keep me in bed that I had no chance to argue with and all I could do was to be okay with that. So Rose is now tied to the bed. Oh. And in addition to that, these three people would be capable of carrying me into the bathroom and sitting by my side through the whole process, just to be sure that nothing happens to me, which is kind of too much for me to imagine. Everything ends when my privacy is invaded, okay?

And it's not like I don't appreciate every little thing they are doing for me, and trust me, they are doing plenty of things for me. I would be a complete bitch if I wouldn't. The biggest of them all. But I just can't look at them and see them looking back at me with that hurt expression, just because I look the way I look now. Everything they do, they are acting carefully, thinking that anything might be able to hurt me, and I think they're asking me about a thousand times a day each if I am alright. I didn't count, but it's a pretty accurate number. And I got tired of answering them that I am and for them not to believe it. And can you believe this shit? Even Dimitri got delusional, maybe he got the germ from my parents, and he doesn't want to sleep into the same bed as me, thinking that somehow he might get to hurt me, and, in addition to that, he insists to sleep on a fucking mattress, on the fucking floor! I swear I love these three people to the moon and back and I would go crazy without them. But really now. What the hell is wrong with them? I am fine and they don't need to handle me like I am entirely made of porcelain. Thank God that Lissa and Christian had to get back home with Emily because I don't think I could have handled five people acting this way.

* * *

And now, on a brand new day, I wake up and prepare for a new day of being treated like a three years kid old again. But I can't do it anymore. This is it. Something needs to change. I turn to the other side and lean over the edge of the bed, searching for Dimitri. And as it happened for the past three days, he is sleeping on his mattress, which must be uncomfortable as hell, trust me, I have slept on it on some occasion, but I haven't heard him complaining at all. I stop for a second to admire his finally relaxed features. I guess that the only time when he stops worrying for me is when he is sleeping. I get my hand out from under the covers and bring it closer to his face. I pass my fingers along his cheekbone and down towards his chin, exploring the little hairs growing on his face. Then I move my hand up and pass it through his silky strands and for a minute, I lose myself into playing with his hair. This little thing brings me so much comfort. It feels so familiar. So good.

I bring my hand down again and rest it on his cheek, moving only my thumb up and down slowly, deciding not to wake him up and let him rest some more. But his eyes snap open and his deep brown eyes look right at me. Whoopsies. It didn't work as planned. "Hey. Sorry for waking you up, comrade."

He brings his hand over mine and caresses it. "I don't mind. What's the matter? Did you…?" he asks concerned and I know what he's referring to.

"No. No bad dreams." thank God that I only dreamt that thing once as I was into the hospital. But still, he asks me about it every day.

"Then, what are you doing up so early? Do you need something?"

"Hey. It's already nine. On a normal day, that would be considered late. _Very lat_ e, Mister Belikov." and we both chuckle a little, remembering his no being late policy. Gosh, that thing brought me so much trouble. "And no, I don't need anything. Or there might be something I want."

He smiles and gets up to his butt. "Name it and I'll make it happen."

"Why don't you come and lay here, next to me, and maybe we'll both get some more sleep?"

"Roza… we talked about that."

I get up, propping myself on my palms and there's a little fire igniting in me and that's driving me. This situation has been going on for too long now and my voice comes out upset. "Yeah, and we got to the conclusion that it is a _stupid_ idea. You are _not_ going to hurt me, Dimitri, understand that already."

"No, we didn't. You did come to that conclusion. And it is not stupid. You know that-"

I sigh deeply as I know that his little speech comes. I have heard it plenty of times these days. "I know, I know. But come on. Just this time. Nothing's gonna happen."

He comes closer to me and places three kisses along my forearm, then he catches my eye. "Maybe some other time, Roza. Soon, okay?" well, how fucking soon?

I roll my eyes and puff angrily. I swear I can't help it. "Fine. Whatever." I say and get to my butt, leaning my back on the bedpost and cross my arms over my chest. And I know that I might be acting like a spoiled brat but I am not asking for much!

Dimitri smiles widely and brings his palm on my thigh, walking it up and down. I squint my eyes at him and slap his hand off. If he said he won't touch me in the fear of hurting me, so be it. He won't touch me. At my childish reaction, he chuckles. "Roza..."

"No. I don't want to hear it." I say and turn my head, looking around my old room. "Do as you please."

I feel his fingers slipping in between mines and he gives my hand a light squeeze. "Look at me." I shake my head. I am still upset. "Come on. Please me and look at me."

I sigh, turn my head and meet his eyes. "What?"

He gets up and props half of his body on the bed, coming closer to me, never letting go of my hand. "You know I love you, right?"

"I do."

"Then you should know that I am not doing this to hurt you somehow. I just want you to be safe." I open my mouth to protest, to tell him that I am fine and that he should finally get that but he gives me a look that I should better not do it and I shut my lips and he smiles satisfied. "Come closer." he says and lifts a little and I bend to meet him halfway. I prop my forehead on his and he brushes his lips over mines. And all of a sudden I get so eager to kiss him and I get my hands on his cheeks and pull him to me, anticipation filling me and just when our lips make contact, my father calls Dimitri from downstairs. Goddamnit! It's like he knew! He wants to pull away but I don't let go of him. I growl and press my lips harder on his and he chuckles and starts to bite on my bottom lip as we kiss hastily, things getting kind of heated. But gosh, my father calls for him once more. And I know the next thing he'll do will be to come up here looking for Dimitri, so I let go of him. "I have to go down."

"Yeah, I know."

He gives me a little peck and gets up, heading out the door, then I hear him descend the stairs.

And when he comes back ten minutes later, his earlier good mood is gone. He enters the room with an anguished expression.

"Dimitri, what happened?" He comes and sits on the bed next to me, then takes my hand into his. Okay, what is going on? "Dimitri? What's going on? Is there something wrong?"

"I don't know how to ask you this in any other way than directly."

"Ask me what?"

"Well, someone from the police called your father earlier."

"Why?"

"They want to know if you feel well enough to go there and give a statement. A couple of days passed and they would want to get your side of your story."

And when he's telling me this, I realize that I forgot a major thing here. I forgot about Tasha. Well, not really forgot. But tried to ignore thinking about her. I was so eager to move on with it that I didn't think about all this legal stuff. "I am." I respond right away. All I want is for this to be done. And I am now the only one who can put her ass to jail. I am the one she did all those things to. And I need to tell them what happened so that they would know how crazy she is and to send her somewhere far, far away, somewhere where I won't be able to see her ever again.

"Rose… are you sure?"

"Yes." I say determined. "Let's be done with shit. I want to do it."

* * *

And half an hour later, Dimitri and I enter the police station in town. All the way here I thought about those days spent in the basement, a thing I didn't do for these past days ever since I left that place, and the more I think about it, the more anxious I get and I get waves of nausea washing over me. But I need to do it. I know I do. I need to go in there and tell them everything Tasha did to me. Some police officer greets us and then guides us through some hallways and we stop in front of a room. And right before entering, Dimitri asks the police officer to give us a second. He gets in and tells us to enter when we are ready.

"Rose, are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to do it if you don't feel ready for it."

"Hey, but I am as ready as I'll ever be. And sooner or later I still have to do it. And sooner sounds better. I want it all to be done fast."

"Okay. If you say so, let's do it. Let's get inside." and he reaches for the doorknob but I stop him. "What?"

 **DPOV begins**

"I um… I think I want to do this alone." she says avoiding my eyes.

"You do?" she nods. "Why?" why wouldn't she want me to be in there with her?

"I don't know. I just feel like it."

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. I am. I just… I don't know. I feel like I have to this alone."

I take her hand into mine. "But you don't have to. I'll be there for you if you want me to." hell, I promised myself to never let her deal with these kind of things alone ever again. But it seems that she wants me to stay out of it this time. I just wonder what happened all of a sudden.

"I know you would. But I want to do this alone." she keeps on saying this but I don't get it why. I don't really want to let her go in there all by herself. I want to be there for her when she tells them everything. It must be something hard to do as I can only imagine what happened to her because she didn't tell any of us what happened, and I want her to have my support when she finally talks about it. But it seems that she doesn't want it. We didn't talk about this ever since she got out of there. I thought it wasn't the right time yet. And I still think that it might not be the right time to do this thing as she still can be easily damaged, but the police needs to know in order to send Tasha to jail forever I hope.

"Rose…" I won't give up easily.

She gives my hand a little squeeze. "Please?"

"Come on. Let me be there for you."

She sighs and then smiles widely. "Comrade, you worry way too much for me and this is the exact reason I don't want you inside right now. You'll only manage to distract me."

"Is that all?" this is the reason she doesn't want me to go in there with her? Why do I highly doubt about it?

"Of course it is. What else could it be?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

She chuckles. "Oh, Dimitri. Don't be silly. There's nothing else. I just want to be practical. Get in there, tell them everything fast, without you distracting me, and then get out. Then it will all be over. So, what do you say? Do we have a deal?"

 **DPOV ends**

With a little convincing, he lets me go inside all by myself. But really now. The last thing I want him to hear is all the details about what happened in there. He is anyway way too concerned and this thing would only make him turn into a little fanatic about my safety, a thing that I am not ready to experience. I take a deep breath in and open the door. Here we go. Let's end this once and for all. I sit down in front of the officer. And I open my mouth and tell him everything, every detail, every word of hers, everything she did, I answer all his questions and I provide him everything he needs to know. And as I relate everything that happened to me, it doesn't go as easily as I planned it to be. Things get way harder than get in, tell them everything and get out and live the rest of your life happily. I thought things would be easy. Because until now, I was fine. But I was fine because I was ignoring it, because I was blocking it all, I wasn't thinking about it, I didn't want to let it get to me and I tried to push everything at the back of my mind. And it worked for these past days. I was feeling great before I opened my mouth fifteen minutes earlier. But now? Now I relieve it all once more and as I am saying it out loud to someone for the first time ever since it happened, it all becomes real to me again. I become aware again of the gravity of everything that happened, of everything I was trying to ignore until now. I get aware of all the bad things that happened, of how close I was to lose my life and everything else that matters to me. And for a second in there, as I tell him about the last things I remember, as I get closer to the moment she started cutting me, I get so scared that I get a little panic attack and my heart starts beating so fast I feel its pulses in my head and my breath gets heavy and I feel like I am ready to suffocate in there and I just pour it out fast, trying to be done with it already. But I stop midway, just before I get to tell him about the moment I passed out and lost contact with reality. I realize I can't go on with my story even though I got so far already.

"Are we done here?" I ask taking in deep breaths. I suddenly feel the need to get out of here.

The police officer looks at me head to toe and concern fills his features. "Miss Hathaway, are you feeling fine?"

"Yes. Yes, I am. But are we done here? I told you everything. I am done. Can I go, now?"

"I guess we are. We have enough details for now. Thank you for your time, Miss. But are yo-"

"Good. That's good." I get up and head out the door fast, then make my way along the same hallways we passed when we got here and I head towards the waiting room. But before going there, I see a bathroom and enter that little room. I just need a moment to breathe, that's all. I wash my face and gulp some water too, my throat feeling very dry. Gosh, I am reliving those moments all over again and in my head, I get these flashbacks and all I want is for them to go away! I need to stop this. This cannot be happening. This is not happening! It passed. And now I am fine. But the images don't go away. I squeeze my eyes shut tightly and lean over the sink and take deep breaths in, trying to calm myself. I feel like crying and I want to do it so bad but nothing happens. I feel so bad! And I shouldn't. I should be fine. Because things are fine. But they feel like they are not. This is so strange. Why do I feel this way? Then, I just sit there and look at the pale reflection of a woman that I don't recognize looking back at me. I look like I stranger to myself. What has she done to me?

 _What the hell is happening with you, Rose? Snap out of it! There's nothing going to happen anymore. You got out of there. And you are alive. Just move on with it already. Don't let her get to you anymore. You are better than this._

 **DPOV begins**

A while later, she gets out. She comes to the waiting room and stops just into the doorway and looks around, seeming a little disoriented. I get up and go to her before she spots me.

"Rose, are you okay?" she looks at me and blinks twice.

"What did you say?"

"I asked you if you are okay."

"Of course I am okay, why wouldn't I be?" well, for starters, her cheeks are flushed and she seems very distracted. I don't tell her this. Instead, I give her a look. There is something going on and she knows I know but she just ignores it. She puffs and waves her hand around. "Come on, comrade. There's nothing wrong with me."

She is obviously lying to me. "How did it go?"

"Good. Everything went well." she says serenely. "Let's go home now." and she doesn't wait for anything else, she just heads towards the exit, walking ahead of me.

Okay, something is definitely wrong. She was feeling fine when she got inside. She was smiling and she was in a good mood. But when I see her now, her face is blank and she looks so tired and she is trying to hide something from me. There's something off with her, that's plain as day. What happened in that room? I am not going to leave things like this.

I follow her outside and we get into the car and I want her to tell me everything. But as I open my mouth, she speaks over me. "Do you think we can go to the market first? I feel like eating some chips. And please, don't get me started on those being unhealthy. I really crave some now."

"Okay, we'll go to the market, but fi-"

"That's great, comrade." she cuts me off. "Can you wake me up when we get there? Because I think I am going to take a nap on our way. I feel really tired right now." she says and doesn't give me any chance to say anything. She just places her head on the window and closes her eyes. Okay. This isn't going very well. She is avoiding to talk to me but she won't manage to do it forever. Eventually, she'll have to speak to me.

And she continues to be in that bad mood all day long, but she still tries to act like there's nothing going on and each time I try to say something to her she finds something to change the subject and as soon as we get home, for the first time ever since she got out of the hospital she doesn't protest when her mother tells her to rest and the first thing she does as soon as she finishes eating lunch, which she did fast, is to go to bed, not giving me any other chance to try to speak to her. And she sleeps for the rest of the day, or at least pretends to each time I get upstairs and check on her. And I want to know so bad what happened but seeing how hard she is trying to avoid it, I decide to let it pass for a little while. A day or two, maybe.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

I have spent the whole day in bed and somehow I still feel tired but now it's night and the sleep won't come to me. It feels so weird. And as I lay in bed and look at the ceiling, trying to make myself fall asleep somehow, into the darkness of the room, my head fills the silence in here with words. But not any words. Tasha's words. It's all I can think of ever since I opened my mouth this morning and I said the same words to that police officer. And I can't take it anymore. I need to do something about this situation. This place is not doing me any good. I turn to my side and take a look at Dimitri, who is laying on the mattress as he has come in here to sleep a while ago. "Hey, Dimitri? Are you sleeping?"

"No." he responds right away, turns on his other side and gets up to look at me. "What's the matter?"

"Do you think we can go home?"

"Are you sure you want that? We can hang around here for some more days." I nod. I swear I want it more than anything right now. I just want to leave. "Fine, then. Tomorrow morning I'll start packing and we'll head home." I look at him and bite the inside of my cheek. "What? Isn't that okay?"

"I was thinking about leaving now…"

"Now? But where's the rush?"

I shrug. "I just want to go home." my voice comes out tired and I sound like I am on the verge of crying, even though there are no tears forming in my eyes.

He moves and turns on the light on the nightstand, then again gives me all his attention. "Roza, what's wrong?" he brings his hand up and caresses my cheek. "Tell me what happened."

"Nothing. I am fine."

"Rose, come on."

"Really. I just… got tired of being here. So can we please go home? To _our_ home? _Please?"_

He looks at me for a couple of seconds and I don't know what he's thinking about, but I am praying for him not to ask me any further questions because I honestly don't know what I could answer to him. All I know is that I want to get away from here and I don't really have a good reason for it, but I just feel like it is the best thing to do, and I don't know if he would understand it if I would try to explain it to him where this wish is coming from. Hell, I don't get it either. But it's there. And eventually, after he looks at me and studies me, to my utter luck, he sighs and nods. "Fine. I'll get our things." and his words bring so much relief to me. We'll get away from here. We'll get home. And there, things will be alright. There, I'll be far away from everything that happened to me not too far from this place and everything will be alright, I am sure of it. We just have to get as far as possible away from here, that's all it takes. And we are. Back home, it won't haunt me anymore, I can feel it.


	62. Chapter 62

**DPOV begins**

"What do you mean you are leaving? And why are you two leaving now?" her parents ask almost in unison as they have heard me carrying our bags downstairs and got out of their room. "Where is the rush? Don't you like it here? Doesn't Rose like it here anymore?" her mother continues. "Is she alright?" he asks lowering her voice and looking towards her room.

"No. She is fine." or at least I hope she is or that she will soon enough be.

"Then? What's the problem?"

"To be honest, I don't really know. She said she wanted to go home. I guess there's no problem with this place."

"Just like this? All of a sudden, she said she wanted to go home? Didn't she say why?" her father asks suspiciously.

"Yes. She didn't tell-" the door of Rose's room opens and she gets out after she has remained behind to change her clothes. We all cease the talking and listen to her steps getting down the stairs. The last thing she needs to hear now is us talking about her. It will only get her annoyed.

Her father makes a step towards me and pulls me a little closer to him, then speaks into a low voice. "Fine, son. Take her back if that is what she wants. But make sure she is going to be okay. And announce us if something happens. Anything. Just let us know, okay?" I nod, promising him that I would.

And soon enough, Rose comes into the living room. "Hey, guys..." she scratches the back of her head. "I hope you don't mind that-"

"Oh, Rose. Don't be silly." her mother cuts her short. "It's understandable that you got bored. You always did around here. And eventually, this had to happen."

"Mum, it's not like that… I just..."

"Oh, but I am not upset about it, sweetie." she says and takes Rose into her embrace, holding her tight. "You've got your life there and let's be honest now, your father and I are quite boring." she tries to joke about the situation, but you can feel it in her voice that she would wish for Rose to stay here for longer.

And I see the littlest smile appearing on Rose's lips. "That's not true. You guys aren't boring. You both are awesome and I love you both." she says holding her mother and taking a look at her father, who soon joins them into their embrace.

And just before we go, her mother does an unexpected thing. She comes and hugs me too. For a moment I don't move, being bewildered by her gesture, this being the only warmness that she has shown me ever since I came here, and I decide to not say not to it as I might never get another chance, and I slowly place my palms on her back and respond to her hug. And then, as Rose is speaking to her father, she lifts herself on her tippy toes and whispers to me. "If you don't keep her safe, Dimitri, so help me God that I am going to come after you." she says threateningly and full of determination. Yeah, this is Rose's mother that I know. "She has been through enough already." she sighs like defeated. "Just please, make sure nothing bad happens to her ever again. I am putting my tust in you to take care of her."

"I'll do my best, Ma'am." I promise her too.

She pulls away and looks at me, then smiles weakly. "I know you will."

"You know what, mum?" Rose asks all of a sudden.

"Oh, nothing, honey." she waves her hand around. "Nothing important."

And on a usual day, Rose wouldn't let a thing like this pass as she is the most curious person I have ever met, but now, she just shrugs and accepts her mother's answer, proving me once more that she is not herself ever since this morning. "So, shall we?" she points to the door.

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

She sleeps all the way back to Manhattan, laying on the backseat, or at least she tries to. And well, she may be sleeping but she's not really resting because her sleep is restless as she often changes her position and sometimes opens her eyes and studies the seat in front of her or plays with the hem of the blanket over her, moving slowly, thinking that maybe I can't see her that way, but I can because my eyes stay mostly on her rather than the road, and one time as I pull over for a gas refill I want to make sure of how she is feeling, even though I already know that she's not fine, but all I get from her is her standard answer with "I am fine, just a little tired." and she gives me a little forced smile and goes back to sleep before I might start asking her anything.

Hours later, I pull the car into the parking lot and decide to wait. I don't want to wake her up as she has found a good position and she has been lightly purring for some time now, finally having a good sleep and I don't want to spoil that. Plus, I don't have any place to hurry to. I turn in my seat and watch her sleeping for the thousandth time these days. I guess that when she's sleeping it's the only part of the day she is not feeling bad because the constant frown on her beautiful face is gone and she doesn't look anymore like she's carrying the weight of the world on her frail shoulders. Gosh, I would do anything to take that heaviness off her but I have no idea how and she is not willing to share it. She just wants to do it all by herself and I am afraid that she...

But I was wrong, and her sleep is not as good as I first thought. Because about twenty minutes later, she starts moaning lightly and clutching the blanket in her fists. And it breaks my heart to see her like this. It seems that the nightmares were never gone. They were just waiting for the best occasion to pop up. And today was the day. I hurry out of the car and open the back door. I get her hands in mines and unfist her strong grip.

"Please, don't do it." she cries. Gosh, what happened to you down there, Roza? And why aren't you telling me anything?

I shake her lightly, trying to wake her up. "Roza." I keep on repeating her name, whispering it, trying not to wake her up too abruptly.

But no matter how soft I try to be, she still wakes up scared. She gets up fast and pushes my hands off her. "Don't touch me!" she says breathing heavily. Then she takes a look at herself, at her hands and then her gaze moves towards me and her expression fills with surprise, which is followed by anguish. "Oh my God. I am so sorry, Dimitri. I didn't mean to-"

"Hey. It's fine. I understand." I bring my hand up to her cheek and she turns her head, nudging the tip of her nose along my palm.

"I really am sorry. I thought that you…" and she stops, biting her lip.

"Come on, milaya, tell me." she frowns and looks down at her hands, avoiding my eyes. I tilt her head up and make her look at me. "It was that dream again, no?"

She nods and in a swift movement, she gets on her knees and gets closer to me, rounding her hands on my neck, keeping me tight. "I swear I didn't mean to hurt you. I would never…."

"I know, Roza. I know." I pick her up and get her out of the car. "You don't have to worry about this." sighing, she props her forehead on my shoulder and doesn't argue at all as I carry her into the elevator. But I can't let this thing go either. "Rose?" she tilts her head and looks at me, her eyes almost begging me not to ask her anything. But I need to know. "Tell me about your dream."

She shrugs. "It wasn't different from the first one." and her answer doesn't help me much as she was very brief when she told me about that one too. All I know is that she was dreaming about what was happening before I got there. Nothing more.

"Tell me anyway."

And my insistency upsets her. "I already told you once about it." she says coldly. "And I told you that this dream wasn't different from that one. What else do you need to know?" and she unties her hands and tries to make me put her down, but I just hold on to her tighter. I am not going to let her push me away. She can fight me as much as she wants. "You can put me down. I can walk on my own."

"No."

And this only upsets her some more as I can feel her grip on my shirt tightening. "Dimitri, put me down now." she almost growls. But I do the contrary, pulling her closer to me and getting my mouth closer to her ear, speaking to her softly.

"Push me away as much as you want, Roza. I am not going anywhere. You don't have to do this alone. I am here for you."

And just like she was holding her breath, a couple of seconds later, she lets out a long sigh and her whole body untenses, not fighting me anymore and she puts her head back on my shoulder.

We get up into the apartment and into our bedroom.

"Do you feel like doing something?"

She shakes her head. "It's late anyway." and I get the message and lay her in bed, making sure she has everything she needs when it comes to pillows and blankets. And then, when she is properly set in bed, I kiss her forehead goodnight and turn to head for the dresser. "Hey…" she says weakly. I turn again to face her. "Do you think you can um… maybe lay in bed with me. Just this time, please." she adds fast. "You won't hurt me, really." and I agree. I could never leave her. She looks so frightened right now. And I won't leave her from now on. And at least she is not trying to push me away some more. I lay next to her and she comes closer to me, latching her body to mine, and looks at me, smiling weakly, but it's only on her lips because her eyes are still sad. "Thanks, Dimitri."

I kiss her forehead and walk my fingers across her back, feeling all her ribs as I make my way up. "Don't mention it. I didn't do anything special."

"But you did. Do. And I am just acting like a bitch." she sighs. "I am really sorry. I didn't do it on purpose I was just…" and again, when she is close to telling me something, she stops and avoids my eyes by getting her head into the crook of my neck.

And hardly, I let it pass and don't ask her anything. "It's fine."

"No, it's not. But you're too nice to me to point it out." she says and snuggles to my chest some more. And for some minutes, we don't speak. I even start thinking she fell asleep. But then she speaks again. "Dimitri?"

"Yes?"

She tilts her head, meeting my eyes, and she bites her bottom lip a couple of seconds before she decides to continue. "Can we not go to the office tomorrow?"

"Oh, Roza. Of course. You don't have to go anywhere. You still have to rest, so there's no work for you for a while. Don't you worry about that."

"What about you?"

"What about me? I am not going anywhere either." I don't want to leave and let her be by herself in this house for so many hours. Not until things get better. Her being alone will only make things worse and I am not going to let it happen.

"That's good." She smiles a little and cuddles to my side once more. Then, she sighs and brings her hand up, walking it across mine and stopping when she finds the cut on my forearm and she lightly walks her fingers across its healing edges, a thing she does often these days. I don't know why, but this seems to fascinate it. "That's very good, comrade."

* * *

And ever since that night, even though I know it was not such a good thing to do, we spent one week just laying in bed and doing nothing much except holding each other at times and watching the sun rise and set together, always in silence, nothing but our breaths disturbing the graveyard silence of the apartment. Or at least she is not doing much except that, even though I have tried so much to make her leave that bed, even if it only involved going to the dining room to eat, she told me she didn't feel like doing it, and I even tried to make her speak to me about anything, no matter the subject, but Rose doesn't quite have the energy to do stuff, and when she speaks, she just gives me bland answers and at times doesn't even pay any attention to what I am trying to tell her. And like this, a week after we got home, nothing gets better, nothing works as I expected. And when I am not in bed with her, when she is not sleeping, she just lays in there and stares at a point into the room, holding a pillow in her embrace all the time. Hell, if I wouldn't insist, she wouldn't even be eating or drinking water or taking her pills or anything else. It was a little miracle for me when she agreed to get out of bed to go to the doctor's appointment. But ever since, she hasn't left the bed for too long.

And me? I need to face the truth. Tasha broke her. I have no doubt about this now. And I have no idea how to put all her pieces back together. The only couple of seconds when she smiled this week were when we went to the doctor's office and we had an ultrasound and we saw our baby girl being healthy and growing. Except that, she felt nothing but bad. It drives me insane seeing her hurting like this without letting anything out, pretending that there's nothing bad going on and to not be able to do anything to help her somehow. She doesn't let me do anything, no matter what I try or how much I try. She refuses to let me help her in any way. All I can do, everything she still lets me do, is to keep her at night, tight into my embrace. Ever since her bandages have been taken off two days ago, I don't know why, but she doesn't let me touch her very much, sometimes feeling the need to pull away from me and then she even apologises for it when she does it, telling me that it's not my fault in any way but only hers, and I wouldn't mind giving her as much space as she wants and needs if this would help her. Right now, I would be able to try anything just to know it would do her some good. But at least, at night, she doesn't protest and doesn't pull away when I round my arms on her and hold her. I know that's when she is the most vulnerable and I need her to know that I am there for her, no matter what. Maybe like this, she'll let me in. But until now, it didn't happen.

Besides that, she doesn't seem to give me the chance to get to her, to speak to her about things that matter. She has built a wall that is so high and so strong that I can't get past it no matter what I try to break it. She often avoids the subject and I can't make her speak about what really happened that night. Trust me, I tried every possible way, but every time I mention the smallest thing about that period she zones out and then doesn't speak. Not that she would say me more things about anything else either, but when it comes to that subject, she would do anything to avoid it. And the newest way she found to avoid it is not to speak at all. She gave up on trying to change the subject and she doesn't get angry or upset or sad anymore when I bring it up. She just closes her mouth and lets me speak with the walls around me. The only things I know that happened are from her statement at the police as I managed to get my hands on it, but all I know from that are the facts. When she told the police officer everything, she was completely emotionless, until she reached the end and freaked out and rushed out the door and well, from that point on, I know that she's acting weird. And she has all the reasons to. What Tasha did to her? It was horrible and I can't be happier that that woman is going to rot in prison for what she did. When she got convicted I was there and it took so much from me not to get up from my seat and go to her. But it was finally over. I didn't have the courage to bring Rose with me there. All I said to her after I came back was that it was all over and that she would never have to worry about that woman hurting her anymore. And all she said in response was an absent "That's good." and "I am glad I didn't go. It would have only been a waste of time." and she went back to sleep. But even though Tasha isn't able to touch Rose anymore, the things she did to her still linger in her mind and are making her act like this. Somehow, Tasha managed to take Rose away from me. But I am not going to give up that easily. I will find a way to bring her back to me. There has to be a way.

And what she felt as those things were happening, no one knows except her. It seems to her that if she keeps on avoiding speaking about it, it never really happened. I can't find another reason for what she is keeping it for herself. And gosh, I wish so much it didn't happen. She didn't deserve to go through this. But it happened and no matter how much I regret it, I can't do anything to change the past. And her going on like this, keeping it all buried inside her, is not healthy at all. She needs to let these things out; otherwise they will get to her more than they already have. And I still don't know how to make her talk about that, and she still pretends she is completely fine.

I even thought that she doesn't want to speak to me in particular about everything so I suggested that she should go and see someone qualified, as the doctor advised her. And I expected for her not to utter any word, just as usual. But God, that day was the only one she had a genuine reaction after all these days of being numb. And how angry she got that day, I have never seen her like that. She started throwing pillows at me and she kept on yelling and telling me that she wasn't crazy and that she didn't need to see anyone and that her mind is perfectly fine and that Tasha didn't mess with her brain, that she doesn't have any power over her and that she never had and she will never will, not in a million years and it was only her body that she damaged, but I can see better what she actually did to my Rose. And then she didn't speak to me for a whole day, ignoring me completely and not even letting me get close to her. And even though I know I shouldn't have done this, I dropped the subject. I didn't insist. I know it is not a good thing to do, but I am afraid that if I push her too hard, something worse will happen. I am afraid that she will break even more.

Until now, I thought that maybe all she needs is time. That it will all get better with time. But as time passed, nothing got better. And things can't continue like this for longer. Something has to change and it needs to happen fast or I'll lose her into this depth she's hiding into. She is getting dragged into that blackness with each passing day and I cannot let this happen. One week was enough for me to see that letting her be doesn't work. I need to do something to make her open up. I need to find a way because I refuse to lose her once more.

* * *

And now it's evening and we have been laying in bed for the whole day again and all the sounds she has been making were small sighs from time to time, and sometimes she would move just enough to accommodate herself better in my embrace. But I am done with this approach. We can't keep on going like this. I let go of her and get up, but she doesn't react.

"Come on, Rose. Get up."

"Why?"

"Because I am taking you out."

Her eyes widen first, then she shakes her head. "I don't feel like it."

"I know you don't, milaya. But you have to move a little. You've been sitting in bed for days." she looks at me pleadingly and I don't want to push her, but a change of decor might do her some good. "Come on. We'll go just to the supermarket." and I take the cover off her.

She sighs, knowing that I won't give up that easily, and thinks about it. "That's all?"

And her agreeing to it makes me want to overflow with joy. It's not much, but I didn't think she would agree so fast. "Yes. That's all. Just a little trip to the market."

"Fine." she says getting halfway up. "We'll go."

* * *

And fifteen minutes later we are walking through supermarket aisles, looking for nothing in particular. But at least I managed to get her out of the house.

"Do you want something?"

She puts back the jar of jam she was inspecting and moves to another shelve. "No, not really."

"What about ice cream?" this used to cheer her up anytime. But she shakes her head no. "Hey, look. They changed the packaging on your favorite peanut butter."

But what I say gets unnoticed. "Did you take everything you needed?" she asks already, trying to keep it cool, but I feel the eagerness of going back home in her voice. Gosh, this is way harder than I thought.

* * *

But on our way home, I take another road. I need to try one more thing today.

"We're not going home?" she asks disappointed.

"I know I said only the supermarket, but I want to take you somewhere else. Would that be okay?"

She takes in a deep breath and sighs. "Dimitri, if you plan on taking me to any therap-"

"No." I stop her and take her hand into mine. "No therapist if you don't want to." even though I must admit I have thought about this possibility, but I am keeping it for later, in case I fail with everything else. "I am taking you somewhere else. Is that okay with you?"

She shrugs. "I guess. We're already outside anyway."

And I take her to the beach, to our place. And we spend some time walking together along the waterline, and we're not talking but I see her enjoying it and she even stops to pick up a stray shell that got carried to the sand, just like she always used to do, and she keeps on playing with it in her hand. But all good things often have to end and she stops and looks at me.

"Do you think we can…" and I expect her to ask me to go home as it has been too long already ever since we left the house. "...sit down for a little? I feel a little tired but I don't want to leave." she takes me by surprise with this but I can't be happier about it. So I go to the car and bring some blankets and we sit in our spot and watch the waves coming to meet the shore.

At one point, she rests her head on my shoulder she cuddles to my side, initiating the closeness that I didn't know how she would react to if I would have started it, and I put my arm around her and pull her closer.

"It's really nice here, no?" she says as her fingers draw circles on my palm.

"It is." I kiss her temple and she sighs lightly. "It really is."

Her fingers get upward and reach my forearm, playing once more along my faint scar. "I really missed this place. Thanks for bringing me here."

"Don't mention it. I didn't do anything special."

She sighs deeply and lifts her head to look at me. "Dimitri…"

"What's the matter?"

"I am sorry."

"Roza… don't say that. You di-"

"I don't want to be a burden for you but I know I am." _what?_ She looks down at her hands and starts playing with the hem of her blouse. "I just…"

I cup her cheeks and make her look at me. "Oh, milaya. Stop saying that. You could never be a burden to me."

"I know that this was hard for you too, Dimitri. That it still is. And I am just making things worse for you with the way I am acting. I am trying to get better, I really am. But…" she sighs. "I am sorry that you have to deal with me this way. I am sorry to be such an annoyance."

"Rose, don't you ever say that again. I will always be here for you, no matter what."

"And that is exactly the thing. You are here for me and take so much care of me and make sure that I don't miss anything and what am I doing? I am just making your life harder. I do nothing for you. I want to be there for you too. I know that this thing isn't easier for you either. I was not the only one affected by it, I know it so well and I want to… But I just can't." she says with a cry, her voice breaking, but she is not crying. "And I wish it so bad."

"But Rose. You are here for me." only the fact that she is with me, means the world to me.

"No, I am not. You say that just because you don't want to upset me. But the truth is that I am not doing anything. All I do all day long is to do a big bunch of nothing, don't you think I am aware of it? I am just being a burden. I am not helping you at all. On the contrary. I just… Maybe you should-"

"Look at me and listen to me well. You could never be a burden for me. And trust me. Things would have been a thousand times harder for me if you wouldn't have been here. I am so glad that you're safe and I couldn't wish for more, Roza. What matters is that you are here with me. That's it. That's all I wished for."

She gets her hands around my torso and lays her head on my shoulder. "I don't know what I would do without you. I love you so much, Dimitri. So much."

"Me too, milaya."

And we spend the next minutes in silence, embraced, until it feels like our hearts are beating into the same rhythm. She sighs deeply and brings her hand to the nape of my neck, walking her fingers up and down on my skin. And I scratch my brain thinking of what I might tell her to make her feel better or to assure her that it will all be alright.

"When will it be gone?" she speaks first.

"What?"

"The fear… the dreams… her…" she ends and takes a deep breath, sounding almost like a sob, but still, there are no tears. "I am tired of it."

I hold her tighter and soothe her hair. "I don't know, Roza. But one day, things will get better. And until then, I'll be by your side."

"You think that?" she asks full of hope.

"I know that." I will do everything I can to make it happen.

"How can you be sure of it?"

"Because I know you, Rose."

"I am trying, you know?"

"I know you do, Roza." only the fact that she is here and she is talking to me means so much. It's more than happened for the past week.

"But it is so hard. Maybe I am not trying hard enough. Maybe I should do more-"

I pull her off me and look into her sad eyes. "Hey, don't say that. You're doing just fine. You're doing your best and this is what matters. This is the most important thing, that you're trying. Take your time. You don't have to rush. Take things one by one. No one's rushing you. I am not rushing you."

"Yeah, but…"

"But what?" She frowns and looks down, again avoiding my eyes. "Tell me, Roza."

"It doesn't feel like working, no matter how hard I try."

"Hey, it's just the first try. And look, you got out of the house today. I am going to mark it as a very good day."

"It's not that. It's not about today."

"So what if you did nothing the other days? This day matters too."

She shakes her head. "You don't get it."

"Then tell me. Why do you think that you're not doing enough?"

"Oh, Dimitri love. I don't think that. I know it." and for a second I look at her bewildered. How did she just call me? At my reaction, she can't help it just smile a little. "Yeah, I know. I never called you like this. I have no idea where it came from."

I smile too. "Don't you worry. I like it."

"You do?"

"Yes, I do. But let's not forget the main subject." she was so close to telling me something and I want to know. "What's the matter?" I put her hair behind her ear, trying to get to her. "Tell me why you think that."

"You know that you had been gone a couple of hours these days…having to take care of that thing..."

"Yes, I was. For three days. Were you okay then? Shouldn't I have been gone? It wasn't for much but-"

"No, no. I was fine. And of course you had to go. I know you wouldn't have left if it wasn't necessary. But you must think that I just stood in bed and did nothing."

"That's what you told me. Didn't you?"

"I did tell you that. But I lied."

"What? Why?"

"I um… don't know. I didn't want you to worry."

"Should I have had a reason to worry?" she shrugs. "Roza, tell me already, and tell me everything."

"I didn't do anything bad. I just did things…"

"What things?"

"I went out on the balcony and watched the city. I um… tried to read something."

"Okay, that's nothing bad."

"Yeah, except it didn't work."

"Work on what?"

But she doesn't hear my question as she laughs bitterly. "Gosh, I even tried punching the tiles in the bathroom in search of some release."

Search for release? Release from what? "You did _what?"_ I ask shocked and take her hands, inspecting them. "Why-"

"I am okay, Dimitri." She takes our hands down and squeezes on mines. "God, you are always worrying for me and this must be so consuming for you. You need to stop it, really."

"How can I not worry for you when you do things like these? Did you do anything else I should not worry about?"

She smiles weakly. "No, I didn't. And I only did that once. And it didn't work. So I didn't do it again, okay?" and I want to protest some more but she doesn't give me the chance, but she continues telling me, which is a good thing. "I called Lissa one day. Before, to her, I could tell anything. But not this time. I just couldn't… Just like I can't now…" she sighs and looks at the shore for a second. "In my desperation, I even called my mother, for fuck's sake. But I didn't have anything to tell her. The words were just stopping at the tip of my lips. I just made some small talk and listened to her talking about what dad's been up to lately. And I hate small talk, you know that. But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't let it out. Still can't."

"That's all you did?" I want to make sure first that she didn't hurt herself some more before we get to talking about other things.

"No. I tried listening to music too. I held my earphones on for hours, as you were gone, with music blasting, but nothing happened. I tried to make myself cry. I thought about so many things trying to trigger it. I thought about it too…" and she gulps and brings her fingers along my forearm, playing again with the scar on it. I guess this thing reminds her of that period too. "But I can't cry, Dimitri. Not even a single tear would fall, no matter what I did. Or do. Then I thought that I might go out and run. I miss it so much. But I can't do that either, because as I tried doing it inside, but the swift movements don't feel so good with my…" she brings her palm on her ribs and looks away again. "...yeah, and it hurts a little. So I replaced them with stupid walks around the house, and I would move from one place to another in the hopes that they would at least tire me enough to make me sleep better at night. But nothing worked those days. I still had those dreams. I still do. And I just want to get rid of them so much. But anything I do, nothing works. And maybe I am not trying hard enough..."

"But why did you try all these things? Just to cry? That's all?"

She smiles sadly. "No. There is a bundle of tension in my chest." She takes my hand and places it just above her heart and I feel her heart beating slowly. "Right here. This is the reason. I can feel it in me. And it is so weird. Like it would be a tumor or something. It's like someone cut me open and put it there. And I can't get rid of it, no matter what." her words bother me so much and the fact that she tried to deal with this by herself and not telling me about it until now too. She hid it from me. Maybe I could have helped her if she would have told me something. But she didn't!

"Why didn't you tell me all these things earlier? You know that I would always be here for you, to listen to you, to support you. Every time when I asked you how you are, you just said that you are fine, or that you are good, and no matter how hard I insist you don't change your answer. No matter how much I tried before, you didn't tell me anything. You just kept so many things inside. You kept this" I place my hand over her heart again. "inside for all this time. You didn't tell me anything for so long. And you did all these things… Why? And you did all these things in the couple of hours I had to be away and in rest, you would just lay in bed and do nothing. Why, Rose? Why you kept it away from me?" I am not trying to blame her of anything but I just want to understand her. I want her to give me a reason.

"This is exactly why I couldn't tell you. You worry so much for me already and I couldn't stand seeing you like this because of me."

"Come on Rose. This is not about me. It's about you. About you keeping all these things to yourself."

"Yeah, I did it because you act with me like I am made from thin glass and you are going to shatter me with your words or touches and by me telling you that… I am not made of glass, Dimitri. I am alright. As much as I can be at least. My body is alright." this is different. She changed the way she puts it. Until now, she used to say that only her body isn't fine. But now, it's different. "I just-"

"Just what? Tell me. Talk to me, Rose, for the love of God, tell me something."

"Fine. I am telling you now. I am not feeling well on the inside. It's not about my body anymore. I am a mess, Dimitri. On the inside. There is something wrong with me here." she places her hand over mine and pushes them harder into her chest and she lets out a strangled breath. "And I can't make sense of it. It frustrates me. No. It enrages me. I don't know what to try anymore in order to get rid of that sensation in my chest."

"Maybe you should talk about it."

Her eyes widen and she shakes her head. "No. That, I can't do. I would try anything..."

"Why not?"

"I don't think I can."

"It might help you so much." she shakes her head. "God, Roza. You are killing me. It's driving me insane. I want to know. I want you to tell me. Let me help you. I can't watch you being like this anymore."

Her expression fills with anguish. "Why didn't you tell me anything before if it was bothering you?"

"I didn't want to push you. I was afraid that you might…I don't know. I wanted you to tell me when you were ready. I didn't want to force you to tell me. But it is affecting you so much and you can't keep on doing it. Do you feel ready now? Can you tell me now?" I ask full of hope. She has already told me something. Maybe she will share everything else too. "Please, milaya. Share it with me. Let me know."

She sighs, puts her forehead on my cheek and kisses my jaw. "I don't know. I don't think I am able to now… It's too hard..."

"But when?"

"I don't know. Soon maybe. I'll try, I promise… And I am sorry if I-"

"No, don't say that. It's fine." I pull her closer to me and she buries her face into the crook of my neck. "I am not upset. And you don't have to apologize. But I want you to promise me something."

She tilts her head, looking at me. "What?"

"Can you promise me that if something involving this happens," I get my hand to her heart and she sighs. "you come and tell me about it? Just so that I know."

She takes my hand and brings it up to her lips, placing a little kiss on it. "I promise I'll let you know."

* * *

And ever since that night, she kept to herself again, even though she promised me she would tell me if there's something wrong going on. I have no idea what else to do about Rose. I thought that after our talk on the beach things will get better somehow, but nothing really changed. On the contrary, in fact. She keeps to herself again. Each time I try to open the subject again, she dismisses it saying that now she is really fine and us talking about it that night helped her and there's nothing else to talk about, that everything's getting better. But I can see that things aren't getting better. I guess she had a moment in which she opened up, in which she let herself be vulnerable, in which she felt the need to let it out, but now she is again reticent about speaking about it. And she needs so much to speak about it, but still, she refuses to do it. There's something keeping her from doing it, something blocking all these words from getting out her mouth and I can't find a solution to that.

And her behavior changed too. She stopped laying in bed all day long and doing nothing and for some days now, she has been doing little chores around the house like washing the dishes or folding some clothes or anything that doesn't require much energy, telling me that she feels the need to be useful somehow and I agreed to that, thinking that if she has something to do, she will get her mind off everything for a while. Then, all of a sudden, about two weeks ago, she began going out on these little walks outside. Which I thought it's a good thing too and I was happy to know that she wanted to do this. Until I found out that I wasn't invited. I wasn't very excited about the idea of her being alone, but she told me that she needed this time outside. She was feeling trapped inside the house after she has been inside for all these days and that it made her feel better when she got outside. So I let her do this thing too, hoping that it would help her somehow. But it didn't. Not really. She would just wander the streets or stop on some bench in park (yeah, I know I shouldn't have, but I went after her some times, just to see what she is doing) and then she would come back home sometimes late at night or sometimes just after one hour, and she would lay in bed, latching herself to me to hold her as she sleeps and then, sometimes she would have a good night's sleep, or sometimes she would wake up scared as she still has that dream from time to time.

But besides all the new things she's doing, she doesn't talk. We don't talk about anything that matters, we just fill the silence between us with useless conversation. This thing has gotten way too far, an entire month has passed ever since Tasha has been taken to jail, but things didn't get better for Rose and it kills me to see her this way. But if she doesn't want any help, there is nothing I can do, no matter how much I don't like it. Because no matter how much I would try, this thing has to come from her first. I could try to push her, but if she doesn't want it, nothing will happen. It's all about her. And I don't know what to do to flip that switch inside her and make her realize that she is still hurting, after all this time, no matter how hard she tries to ignore it. She keeps on telling me that she is fine, but I tend to disagree.

I can see that she has been avoiding showing me her scars too, as she seems to be somehow ashamed of them each time I enter the room when she's changing or something like that, but she doesn't understand that they only make her more powerful and that I don't see anything diminishing her beauty in that. She is a survivor. After what happened a month ago, the marks she wears on her fragile body only show me how strong she is. And besides those visible marks, she carries some of them on the inside, trying to hide them from me as best as she can.

But now, all I can still do is to be be her side and care for her as she is slowly healing by herself.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

I am again looking at myself into the gigantic mirror in the bathroom. And I don't like what I see at all. I hate this image so much. The first time I saw my reflection after my bandages had been taken off, I was completely shocked. I didn't have a clue why the doctor used fifty stitches on me, but I surely came to see why. I went to the hospital here in town and my doctor took off my bandages, and the first thing I did was to take a deep breath and look down at what she did to me. And I didn't like it at all. It looked so bad. The flesh was red and a little bruised and the whitish thread of the stitches was contrasting with that. I will be honest. The first thing I wanted to do was to puke because my body was repulsing to me. I never thought that those cuts could look that bad, even though I have been warned about it, but I still didn't expect it.

And for the past three weeks or so, I am doing this every single night before I go to sleep and I just can't get used to this view. It still seems unreal to me. It's like the person I look at each night is not me. And I can't come to terms with the fact that this is who I am now. I don't want to be this person. I hate this weak person.

The scabs from my skin have fallen a time ago and the stitches have gotten absorbed by my skin too, but my skin is still red around the edges. And it looks so stretched out with my belly constantly growing with each passing day as I am four months and some days into my pregnancy, and the scar looks shiny in this bright light. So many days passed and it still looks bad. The doctor told me that it will finally subside, that after I will give birth the scar won't look that bad anymore and that it will not be that visible when it completely heals, but by now, I couldn't see any change.

I pass one finger along the first letter and the skin feels tougher than the one around it. And it is still itching me like hell. I want to scratch my skin every second of the day but I know that this thing will only make it worse. And if I want it to heal faster, I should better not do it. I sigh deeply and take the vitamin E cream that I am supposed to use and cover again the red area on my ribs.

The day after I took off my bandages Dimitri insisted that he would apply the cream, but as his eyes laid on me, his face simply crumbled and my heart broke at his sight. He just wanted to help me, to do a nice thing, but I can't bear him looking at me that way again. So from that day, I didn't lift my blouse around him so that he wouldn't see me. I am afraid that he doesn't like what he sees. How can he? I know I don't.

And gosh, ever since he saw me looking like that, he is moving again slowly and he's very composed around me. And when he touches me, he is barely doing it, he's very careful not to hold me too tight and he's usually tense around me, being probably afraid that he would hurt me. And I hate it. I hate it so much! I hate that he sees me like this weak wreck. I just want him to be with me like he was before.

Before. Ha! I loathe the fact that there is even a before and an after. For the last thirty days, Dimitri and I live into the after part. He even took all these days off from work, leaving his empire to be ruled by his best friend, and leaving me alone just when it was completely necessary, all of this just to be with me. It was so thoughtful of him and I love him for this. He does so many things for me and I know I won't ever be able to repay him. He's so good to me, even though all I have been lately is moody and sad and angry and I am taking it all on him, and even though he has no fault, he doesn't protest. He's showing me all this love when all I can give him back is nothing.

And even though he is always near me, I can feel this abyss beginning to form between us. And I don't want to lose him. It would break me to my core if I would lose him. I love him so much, but it so hard for me to keep going on like this. And it is all my fault, I am very aware of it. I seem to push him away no matter what he does to be near me and I don't know how much he can take it until he decides to leave me. And I don't even know why I am acting like this. He is just trying to help me, but everything that happens around me is just too much to bear and I have no idea what to do about that, what to do to get back to being who I was before… That word again.

I look at myself once more and shake my head, trying to shake off all these bad things too. I can get better, I know I can. And I will.

As I make my way back to the bedroom, all of a sudden, this need coming out of the deepest parts of me fills me. I feel the need to be wanted. In that way. It may be stupid, but I want him to make love to me tonight. I want him to have me. I want him to touch me and kiss me and make love to me.

I get in bed next to him and take the book that he is reading out of his hands. He turns his attention in my direction and waits for me to say something.

"You know, I was thinking." I begin to draw lines on his pecs above his T-shirt. "That you..." I get further down. "And I..." I get one finger under the waistband of his pyjama pants and move it along his skin. "Could-" but he stops my movement and shakes his head no. _No?_ Why?

His response comes as a slap for me. I get up in a second and from the too fast movement, I begin to see small dark spots in front of my eyes and my head spins. This is one of the other gifts that Tasha gave me: a remnant from the concussion she gave me. The doctor said it will go away with time, but it still didn't. Yay! Just another thing that can remind me of what she did to me. I need to steady myself on my feet before going anywhere and I feel Dimitri's hand wrapping around my elbow, trying to help, just like always.

"Roza, are you alright?" he asks concerned and wants to get off the bed too.

"Yeah. I am fine." and I pull my hand from his and rush to the bathroom before the tears might begin to stroll down my cheeks. But they don't. I haven't cried in so long it's annoying.

I get back in front of the mirror and lift my pyjama blouse once more. And there they are, my scars. Still there, no matter how much I pray they would disappear. The reason he doesn't want me anymore. She was right. She made him not want me anymore. They are as big as a palm. Two letters along my ribs. U and G. Two letters out of a four letters long word. Ugly. I fist my palms so hard that my muscles begin to hurt and I push my nails into my skin until my fingers get numb. I want to smash down this mirror in front of me, just to get rid of this image of me that it reflects.

If I close my eyes I still get images from the nightmare I had last night too. Now, even though they are not that frequent, I keep on dreaming her carving my skin again and every time she ends what she began. And she kills my baby. And I die. And no one comes for me. And I wake up sweaty and breathing heavily. The only thing that can make me get back to sleep is Dimitri, who is there to soothe me and sing me back to sleep. God, he is way too good to me, considering all the things that I am doing to him. He doesn't deserve me acting this way with him. Why am I even being like this?

The door opens and Dimitri enters the bathroom. I cover myself fast and turn around to face him, but I avoid his eyes.

"What happened?"

"You don't want me anymore. I'm _ugly."_ I say, my hand going without any thought on my scars.

"Milaya, don't do this to yourself. You are no-"

"Yes, I am! I'm _disgusting!_ And you don't want me anymore."

He comes to me slowly, a hurt expression on his face and cups my cheeks. "How can you say this? You are _not._ You never could be."

I turn my face and brush my nose across his palm. "Don't lie to me, Dimitri. I know how I look."

"Come with me." He grabs my hand and takes me back to the bedroom, not giving me any time to protest again. Then he sits me on the bed and crouches in front of me and takes my hands in his. "Look at me." I lift my eyes off our entangled hands and meet his warm loving eyes. "It's just a word. A single word doesn't define you. That word doesn't define you."

"But it looks so bad and I- I-"

There is a pen on the nightstand and he takes it. Then, he takes my arm and gets the sleeve out of the way. What is he up to? He begins to write something on my skin. I read the inverted words as he makes a list across my arm.

beautiful

kind

funny

naughty

wonderful

lovely

brave

"These are words too. But these are words that describe you. And there are so many others, But all in all, you are so much more than a word, than all these words. You are all these things and so, so much more. But not ugly, Roza." He soothes my hair. "Not for me. Not ever. "

"But these words don't change the way I look. And I look horribl-"

He places his thumb on my lips, making me stop. "Don't. Please, stop it. You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid my eyes on. I love every bit of you. And each bit of you is perfect."

He lays me down on my back and I don't protest. He comes into the bed next to me, the mattress sinking under our combined weights. He is sitting on his knees and is watching me for a second, his eyes being so full of love, just like always. Then his hands get down, grabbing the edge of my blouse and he tries to lift it, but I stop him hastily, panic washing over me. "No. Don't." I take his hands off my body. I don't want him to see. I let him look at my scars once and ever since I didn't dare to take off my tops with him around. I can't see that look on his face ever again. I move him out of the way as I sit up. " _Don't do that_." But he doesn't listen to me. His hands reach again for the hem of my blouse. I try to push them away but he grabs my hand. "Dimitri, _don't do this_." my heart starts beating faster as I panic some more and I try to free my hand with the other. And there is a little game going on, on who is having his hand gripped and then free. A mixture of arms is in front of me and I can't make sense of it for long.

He finally manages to get a hold on my both wrists, and without any other way out, I begin to rock back and forth and shake my hands. But he doesn't let me do that much, because in a split of a second he lays me down on my back and pins me down not only with his body, but with his hands too, immobilizing mines beside my head. I can't move anymore. I can feel again that sensation of vertigo coming back to me from all that movement and all I can do is to look at him spinning as I am catching my breath from the previous fight, my chest rising and sinking rapidly.

"Roza, stop _fighting_ me. I don't want to hurt you. I won't do anything bad to you." he says soothingly.

I try again to wiggle my way out of his clasp but he doesn't let go of me. His body is about halfway over mine, keeping me from moving, and his weight leaned lightly over me and his strands falling around my face, is forming some kind of sanctuary. There is nothing I can see except him. I take a look into his deep eyes and calm myself a little.

His grip softens, but he doesn't let go of me completely. This doesn't matter to me. I try to get away again anyway, no matter my chances. I almost get away as I catch him by surprise, but he is too fast for me and catches me just in time and pushes my hands harder into the mattress.

 _"Stop. Please,_ stop." he whispers pleadingly. "You'll only hurt yourself." And I finally relax completely under him, letting out a long defeated breath, sounding like half a whimper. What chances do I really have? He can go on like this all night while I, in my condition, I might faint soon.

He lets go of my hands and grabs the edges of my blouse and lifts it a little. As I feel the air making contact with my skin, I contract my muscles and try to pull away.

"Dimitri, _don't."_ I beg him not to go any further.

He stops and looks me in the eyes. "It's alright Roza." he says and his words somehow enchant me, because I let him lift my blouse all the way up, revealing my round abdomen and so much more. As his eyes land on my scars, his face turns sad. I turn my head away, not being able to look at him like this. Then, he comes closer to my skin and places soft kisses along my marks, following the red lines, making up those two damn letters.

"Dimitri, _stop."_ I can't do this. I hate them. I hate those streaks on my body.

"Why?"

"Because I _hate_ them."

"But I don't. I love them because they're part of you." and he goes back to walking his lips along my skin, and each time his lips make contact with my skin, my body shivers lightly. When he finishes kissing my scars, he comes above me and places a little kiss on my lips, then he drags me up into a sitting position. "These things don't matter to me. You are _so beautiful_ to me, milaya. And these scars won't ever change my opinion."

"Then, make love to me Dimitri."

"No…"

"But I want you so much."

"I can't. You are still so," he brushes his fingers along my cheek. "...so fragile. You are not well yet. Not enough has passed since…" he shakes his head and looks away.

I place a hand on his cheek and make him look me right in the eyes.

"Come on. It's been a month since that happened. How long-" God, I am so messed up in my head right now. I am one step away from begging him to do it.

"No." he turns his head and brushes his nose against my palm. "I'd kiss every inch of you tonight, but I can't do what you are asking me to."

I sigh and want to pull away. "Dimitri…"

He takes my hand off his face and gently places a kiss on my little finger, then does the same with the others. He goes next to the inside of my palm and down to my wrist. I can't do this. I try to pull away again but he doesn't let go of me. Extending my hand he goes further, kissing the thin skin on my forearm and then he ascends moving slowly, getting my T-shirt out of his way and finally getting to my shoulder. He doesn't stop there and after he takes my hair out of the way, he gets up on the side of my neck. And feeling his lips brushing on my skin does to me so much more than having sex with him would. He makes me feel so loved by everything he's doing.

I stop him. "God, I don't deserve you."

"No Roza. _I_ don't deserve you. You have gone through so much because of me. It's a miracle that you are still here with me." How can he say that? "I am so sor-" I place my palm on his mouth to make his stop.

"Dimitri. There is no other place in the whole world I would rather be except near you."

He smiles faintly and passes a hand through my hair, stopping at the nape of my neck, and slowly pulls me closer. "I love you so much, Roza." he says before bringing our lips together into the sweetest kiss and this only makes the want in me burn harder.

We pull away a little breathless. "I want you to make love to me. It's been so long since we.."

"But-"

"No buts. I won't break. Stop worrying about it. You won't hurt me."

"I can't, Rose. You-"

"Dimitri, there is not a matter of what one can do or what he can't do anymore. I can. And so do you. There is nothing that could stop us. It's a matter of want. And in this moment I want it more than ever." I guess I need it more than ever. God, when did I even begin to beg someone to have sex with me? But I just can't stop wishing it. I want him so damn much. "Do you want it? Do you want _me?"_

His hand gets up and he laces his fingers in my hair. "I always want you."

"Good."

"Bu-" I don't give him the chance to continue.

I lean forward and press my lips on his. His hand clutches in my hair and he drags me closer, responding hungrily at my kiss and his other hand gets a hold of my hip. God, I can feel the desire burning in him, just as it does inside me. When we pull apart, we are both already breathing heavily. And from this to getting further, is only a matter of seconds. I get up to my knees and get rid of my pants and underpants as he does the same with his clothes. I get on top of him at the edge of the bed and he leans backwards, propping himself on his arms, studying me for a second. I look back at him and I feel shy all of a sudden. I put my hair behind my ears, not knowing what to do next. But before things get awkward, he moves. He grabs the edges of my T-shirt, but I throw him a reticent look. Is it really necessary?

He looks me right in the eyes as he speaks. "Let me." Fine. If I am going to let myself be vulnerable, I may go all the way. I have nothing to lose. So I lift my hands, giving him the necessary space to take it off.

As I remain completely bare in front of him I feel the need to do something to suppress the urge in me. I move my hands down on his body and take him into my hand, moving up and down slowly on him until he hardens completely and his breathing starts to harden as he's walking his lips across my neck. I can't wait for longer and I get him inside me. A strangled moan escapes my mouth as my insides accommodate to him.

He pulls away a little. "Are you-?"

"Yes, yes. That felt so fucking good. You're _so hard_." I moan and he smiles a little and I begin to sway my body back and forth on him. But he is simply sitting there, not doing anything much but kiss me. I want him to enjoy this too. I don't want him to refrain himself. God, it feels like I am using him in this moment. I just want us to connect, to be one again, like we used to. I stop moving and look him in the eyes. "Dimitri, touch me. Don't be so tense. _I am fine_."

I keep on watching him and he hesitates for a second, and I take the matters in my own hands if he doesn't want to do anything. "I want you to touch me, like you used to. I want to feel your touch all over me. I missed it so much. And I am sorry for pushing you away sometimes. I shouldn't have done that. I realized that in fact, all I wanted was for you to touch me all the time. To touch me like you used to and not hesitate anymore." I get his palms into mines and then get them closer to my body. His fingers finally find the skin on my knees and he goes all the way up to my thighs, all by his own and I let go of him. When he gets there, he sighs, gets a hold on my hips and begins to move me back and forth on him, making the bundle in my lower abdomen grow.

He gets closer to my neck and places kisses all over its side and his hands get up, gently passing over my scars and as I feel him touching them I sigh. I still haven't got used with this, but maybe it is time to. Maybe it's time to let go. Maybe it's time to get better already. I can't keep on going like this. I need to change something.

He goes further and cups my breasts and walks his thumbs across my nipples. "Oh God, yes, Dimitri. Don't you stop. I love your touch on me." it's like always, his touches are burning on my skin and I like it so much. I longed for this sensation for so long and didn't even realize it.

I rock myself faster and to my surprise, Dimitri takes one of his hands down, between my legs and, as he would know that that was the only thing I needed to be pushed closer to the edge, he is pressing two of his fingers on my bundle of nerves. My body arches and my head tilts back, only giving him more access to my neck. "F-fuck Dimitri. God, that feels so good. Don't you ever stop." and my whole body is heating up some more as I am slowly reaching my peak.

I pass my hands through his hair and pull him closer, kissing him like there is no tomorrow and I lose myself completely into him. All the bad things inside my head disappear as I let him take control over my body, and gosh, it feels so damn good not to try so hard to be in control over myself. And not long after, the bubble forming in me pops and my head gets overflowed with bliss and my mouth is moaning uncontrollably as my whole body is trying to cope with all that pure joy that took over it.

He turns us around and places my back on the mattress, one of his hands getting a hold of mine and he starts moving slower in and out of me, making my body quiver lightly with each thrust, not letting my body calm down and he's slowly taking me to another orgasm.

And as he hovers above me pleasing my body for so long, he starts whispering to me. "I love your hair and how disheveled it is in the mornings." he passes his finger through it and then smiles. "And I love the way it always smells like vanilla." what is he doing? "I love this as it is the best place to kiss you." he says slipping again inside me and kissing my forehead. "And I love how you frown each time you focus on something. It makes you look so cute. I love your eyes." he says kissing me somewhere on my eyebrow. "And all the love I see in them every single day when you look back at me. I love this." he kisses my nose now. "And the way how it moves when you're close to sneezing, and you wiggle it just like a bunny." all the things he's telling me make tears gather at the back of my eyes but all I can do is smile. He's saying all these beautiful things about me and it's only making my love for him grow. "I love the way these…" he says kissing one of my cheeks. "...these get flushed when you shy away. It doesn't happen too often," he says smiling, and I reciprocate it. "but I love it when it does happen. I love these too." he says kissing my lips. "They're the sweetest thing I have ever tasted." he brings his mouth closer to my ear. "I love all of you, Roza. Don't you ever forget that. You are so beautiful to me." and he picks up the pace as his head rests into the crook of my neck, where he still whispers the most wonderful things to me. I didn't know that I am beautiful in so many ways for him.

His liquid splashes inside me and he begins to move even faster and he starts telling me something in Russian now, which I don't understand at all but it feels so right. Soon, my body begins to shake once more and as I come too, the tension in my chest snaps and while I am moaning in pleasure hot tears begin to fall down on my cheeks. Finally. It's such a weird sensation, to be overwhelmed by so much pleasure and so much sorrow at the same time. But God, this feels like the most cathartic moment from my entire life. I can't believe it that I am crying.

Dimitri lays next to me on his back, being breathless and I get myself halfway on top of him because I don't want to let go of him. Not now. Not ever. I turn my back to him somehow and hide my face, burying it into his shoulder and I thank God that I have my hair to keep me covered too. I don't want him to see me crying. He might get worried about hurting me again and he might think that he did something to me. And laying there, I let my tears fall. After so much of constantly keeping everything to myself, I can finally let everything out and it feels so good. For once in my life, I am happy that I am crying.

 **DPOV begins**

And now she is crying. I can feel her hot tears falling on my shoulder. I call her name but she doesn't respond to me. What happened all of a sudden? I lift her off me and turn us around so that now we are facing each other. I get her soft locks out of the way and meet her red eyes. And she seems different. As she starts sobbing and crying harder, I can see that the walls she built around her for the past month have finally crashed and I can't be happier to see this. I am not happy to see her like this, but I know it's for the best. I get my hands around her and pull her closer to me and she lets it all out, crying so bad that she chokes on each sob and she rounds her palm on my upper arm and she holds me tight as her whole body shakes with hard sobs. I won't stop her. She needs this. I walk my fingers up and down her back, soothing her as much as I can as she cries and cries until she finally stops, little sobs escaping from time to time now.

She lifts her head and looks at me. "Thank you, Dimitri." and she sounds like a little kid.

"Roza, tell me."

She sighs deeply. "I don't know what to say."

"Anything. Everything you feel like. Just say something that you feel. But tell me." I won't let her keep those horrible things inside her anymore.

"But I-" I shake my head and she stops. I pass my hand through her hair, letting her know that she can feel safe with me. That she can tell me anything.

"No more keeping it to yourself. Share it with me. Tell me. Let it all out. It's been too long."

Her face crumbles again and she buries her face into my chest once more. "I was so scared. I didn't know if I could keep our baby safe. I thought that I would never get to see you again. I was so afraid I will lose both of you." And she begins to cry even harder.

 **DPOV ends**

And in his tight embrace, I vent myself from all the things I kept in me until now. Hell, I didn't even know I had so many things buried in me. But gosh, now I feel so free. It feels so good to let all those words out. To finally say it all out loud. It was so hard for me to reach this point but as I said the first thing to Dimitri, all the other words just simply got out of my mouth and I got it all out of my system. And nothing seems so bad anymore. I no longer feel that ache in my chest. I am finally able to breathe normally again. And being in Dimitri's arms, I feel capable of doing everything. Even of getting better. For once in so long, I finally feel like I can do it. With him being by my side, I know I will make it through it all.


	63. Chapter 63

**Hello guys! I hope you are all having an amazing week! :)**

 **Before anything else, I just want to announce you that besides this chapter, there will be two more, so I am ending things with chapter 65. And yeah, maybe to some of you it will seem that I am dragging things out now, but I just can't let go of this story and I wanted to write some more Romitri fluff before I end this fanfic and I hope you'll enjoy it.**

 **And now, to respond to some of your reviews...**

 **HonestPassion13, I am not writing in my language first because that would be such a pain in the ass because in my language, the place of the words is different from English and it would be a little hard for me to translate, so I resume to writing directly in English and yeah, sometimes I tend to use the syntax of my native language as I am way too used to it. And I haven't thought about cross-publishing the story in my language too because my language (Romanian) is not that present on this site and I don't know how many people would actually be reading it. But I'll think about it.**

 **touls, there's no offence taken. I always like some constructive criticism and I'll work on it. Thanks for pointing that out. I wasn't quite aware of it, and someone else has told me about it some time ago. Rereading some of my chapters, I have realized that I tend to use those words quite much. And I promise to keep in mind those writers you suggested and I'll get reading ;)**

 **And dear guest (SM) I really hope that you got over that bad period in your life and that now you are good. I would really love for you to share those authors and promise I will be searching them. And thank you for your kind words. It means a lot to me. Lots of love to you too! XOXO**

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

I wake up as Rose is shifting her position and I think that she might be having a bad dream again, but it's not the case now. She just turns around and faces me, then brings her naked body closer to mine, her warm flesh making contact with mine and she snuggles to my chest, making herself little next to me. I put my hand over her middle and pull her closer to me and she rounds her leg on mine and takes a better position. I kiss her forehead and with a small sigh, she tilts her head a little and stops moving. And I watch her sleep. I love doing this lately. She looks so serene, laying here next to me, her warm breath brushing over my skin as her plump lips are partially parted and pouted. I can see the remnants of last night's cry on her face as her eyes and cheeks are still puffy from all the tears she has been shedding and I can still remember the way her whole body was shaking with hard sobs as she was speaking and crying and letting it all out and I hold her a little tighter in my embrace, just to be sure she knows I am still here for her. I wish for her to never go through something like this ever again. It was heartbreaking to see her suffering like that.

I bring my hand up and play with some rebellious strands of her hair. And not long after, I feel her waking up too and she opens just an eye to watch me, and she discovers that I am awake too. And the first thing I see on her face isn't anguish or sadness just like the other days, and even though her eyes are still bloodshot and she's watching me with a sleepy glance, a smile appears on her lips and in her dark eyes.

"Hey…" she says sleepily and brings her hand up on my cheek. "You're doing that thing again?"

"What thing?"

She lifts an eyebrow. "Watching me sleep, comrade." oh, so I have been busted. I just smile in response. So what? I love doing it. "If you go on like this, you won't get any sleep soon, Dimitri. And you can't be tired all the time just because you worry about me."

"But I just got up." I excuse myself and she smiles and shakes her head, probably not believing me.

"It was fine, you know?"

"What was?"

"My sleep."

"It was?" this is great!

"Yeah. I dreamt about something else this time."

"What was your dream about?"

She bites her bottom lip and walks her thumb across my jaw. "It was about you. You and me."

"Oh, really? What more?"

"Not much. It was just you and me, and we were walking on the beach. And... everything was good." she tilts her head and brushes her lips over mine.

"I am glad to hear that." and I kiss her harder as she passes her fingers through my hair and latches her body to mine and I walk my hand across her skin starting at her shoulder and down on her back then head past her ribs and as I pass my fingers across the different textures of her skin she sighs lightly in my mouth. I move my hand on her hip, pull away from our kiss and watch her. "Are you okay?"

She nods and to my surprise, she gets her hand over mine and brings it up to its previous place. "Yeah. I am good."

And for the rest of the day she is still sleepy and we don't get out of bed and we just lay in there entangled into the sheets and we touch and we kiss and it's not the same as the other days. It's like one of our lazy Sundays when nothing could get us out of the bed. And another good thing happens. We talk. We talk more than we did for the past month. We talk about things that really matter. And we talk about the future. And she sounds so positive about it and she tells me about all the things she wants us to do and she's so excited about it all. And maybe, like this, we're heading the right way. Hearing her talk like this, I get hope again that she will get over it, that she will get to be herself again.

* * *

And at night, we still lay in bed and the sleep doesn't seem to be coming and we just watch the moon shedding its light on the walls of the room. At some point, Rose turns to face me again.

"What time is it?"

"I guess it's around midnight or so."

"Oh." she says seemingly disappointed. "It's late."

"Why you're asking?"

"Nothing important."

"Come on. Tell me, no matter how small."

"I was thinking about something."

"About what?" and now I pray that it won't be a thing that would bring her sadness.

"I was thinking about pancakes."

I lift one eyebrow, almost amused. "Pancakes?"

She nods, then shrugs. "I don't know… I was kind of feeling like eating some. I am kind of really craving some right now."

Wow. It's the first time in a long while when she asks for something to eat. The first time I don't have to push her somehow to eat or to take any vitamins. We had so many little arguments when it came to me making her eat. And now, I spend no other second. If she wants to eat pancakes, so be it. She'll eat pancakes. "Then let's go and make some pancakes." I say and already start lifting but she drags me back down.

"But it's late."

"It must be breakfast time somewhere around the world, no?"

"Yeah, it must be." she says smiling.

And we go to the kitchen and we put some background music and we start mixing ingredients together and it feels amazing to be doing this again with her. I must say that I got to miss these little things. But slowly, I am getting them back. And I am getting my Rose back.

We have agreed upon me being the one who cooks the pancakes and Rose is now sitting on the counter next to me, wiggling her feet on the rhythm of the song that's playing now and she's patiently enough waiting for me to finish. Then, I see that she stops moving and focuses her attention on me, and she studies me for a couple of seconds. Then, she reaches her hand up and caresses my cheek, a weak smile on her lips. Then, she sighs and brings her hand down on the side of my neck.

"How are _you,_ Dimitri? You always ask me, but you never tell me how you are. So tell me."

Seeing her getting better, talking about what happened and some more, getting out of bed, doing this? It feels amazing. I turn my head and kiss the inside of her palm. "I am good, Roza. I am really good."

The smile on her lips widens. "I am glad to hear that."

I pull the pan off the flame and get closer to her and she splits her legs, making me some space and I walk my fingers on the skin of her thighs. "What about you?"

She shrugs and walks her fingers across my chest. "I guess I am working things out." for the first time, she replaces her usual lie with "I am good" with the truth.

I lean closer and kiss her forehead and she rounds her arms over my neck. "What about this?" I point to her chest.

"What about that?"

"Is it still there?" I don't expect it to go away miraculously after just one day, but I want to know if things are getting better.

"Sometimes… I mean, I can feel some little remnants of it sometimes, but just when I really, really think about it. But not every second of the day. Today it wasn't really here… I guess it diminished. I guess I'll see how things will be from now on."

"I am glad to hear that."

"Yeah, me too."

I get back to making the pancakes and as I am cooking the next one, she dips her finger into the mixture and looks at it. Maybe she'll lick it. She enjoys eating this thing raw lately. But instead of that, she smiles and extends her hand and places her finger on my nose. I lift one eyebrow and she shrugs and smiles widely. I get closer to her and pretend I want to kiss her but instead, I walk my nose on her cheek, spreading the mixture on her skin.

"Hey." she says seemingly upset and she crosses her hands over her chest, but I see she's still smiling. "Take it off." and I kiss my way on her cheek, taking the mixture in the process.

"Is that better?"

"Mhm, it is, comrade."

And after the pancakes are ready we sit on the kitchen floor, leaning on the counter and I am so glad to see Rose having her usual appetite and of course, she eats her pancakes with peanut butter on them. I swear that she would be able to put that on everything she eats. We have a cupboard full of peanut butter jars, and no one except her is allowed to touch it. But I am at least happy to see that she got back to her passion.

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

"Are you sure you'll be okay?" he asks me again as we're still laying in bed one early morning a couple of days later.

I frown and almost roll my eyes. "Yeah, I will, I promise. I won't do anything bad if that's what's bothering you, comrade." and he smiles and pulls me closer to him. "I am completely done with doing that, okay?"

"No more hitting the walls?"

"Yes." no more doing things that could harm me. I was stupid in the first place to try that shit.

"That's good." he says and walks his nose across my neck, reaching my ear. "But I still don't want to leave this bed." he says bothered and I chuckle.

"Yeah, me either, but you have to finally go to work. You said it yourself and I get it. You can't kidnap Ivan from his business for so long to take care of yours. You're an important man and have important things to do. And I will be fine."

"But you're more important than those."

"Thanks, comrade." I kiss him and then I get up to look what time is it. "Hey, you know, it's still early."

Still laying down, he lifts an eyebrow, being already intrigued. "Is it?"

"Mhm." and I walk my fingers along the skin of his forearm.

He gets up with a smile on his face. "And do you have any suggestions on how we could make it pass faster?"

I chuckle. "As a matter of fact, I do."

"Oh, then do share them."

I shrug, trying to sound impassible. "I don't know… maybe… we could take a shower together or something?"

The smile on his face widens and in a swift movement he picks me up and I squeal in surprise, then he gives me a little kiss and gets off the bed and carries me to the bathroom.

* * *

And an hour later he tells me that he loves me and he kisses me goodbye and I close the door behind him and remain alone in the apartment with only silence to keep me company. But the silence doesn't feel like a burden to me anymore. For the first time in a long time, being in silence by myself doesn't bring all kind of bad thoughts in my head. Not that many anyway. But still, I get to the living room and open my laptop and put some music to play so that it won't be that boring around and I catch myself singing along, humming in fact as I have like zero talent when it comes to singing, as I do my thing around the house. Then I make myself a tea. And I eat something. And I watch TV for some time until I get bored with it. And then I walk around the apartment, doing little chores and I end up in front of the bookcase and I read all the titles in there and then I close my eyes and extend my hand and pick up the first book I touch and go lay in bed and read it. And when I get bored with that too I realize that not so much time has passed and I did a lot of things and I still have a lot of time to go. It's really boring to be by yourself for so long when you were used to always being with someone. But I won't die. I just find something else to do, something to keep myself busy. I call my mother for instance and we talk, like really talk for almost an hour and it makes me feel good to reconnect with her. And then, as I remain with practically nothing to do, I just lay on the sofa and then it's when it happens. Some bad thoughts start creeping into my head and my hands and feet feel tingly like I would want to move, to run away from everything and fear starts making my chest clench for a second. I get up to my butt in one second. No! I won't let this thing happen again. I am going to fight it. So I decide to act on it, I get my laptop and search for something I never thought I would be searching the internet for. And after some time of research, I form a number on my phone and hold my breath until someone answers me. It's a nice lady responding to me and she asks me how she can help me and her warm voice calms me right away.

I let out the breath that I was holding in and speak.

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

When I get home it's pretty late as I had a lot of things to take care of on my first day back and Rose is already getting dressed at her usual hour for her walk and I just get into the dressing room to get rid of my office clothes, not saying anything about that. If she still feels like going out by herself, so be it. I won't argue about it. And as I am changing, she walks in front of me, moving from one side to the other, searching for something along her clothes and we talk about how our days have been and I am happy to hear all the things she has done today and to see that she is slowly going back to doing the things she enjoys. Then, she stops just before getting out of the dressing room.

"Dimitri?" she is in the door frame and looks at me, keeping her pyjamas rounded in her arms.

"Yes?"

"Would you um… like to go out for a walk? Of course, if you're not tir-"

"Yes, I would. Very much."

* * *

And I let her take me to a new place she has found on her trips, and after we walk for about an hour, we reach some kind of a hill and I must admit that the city looks amazing from up here. I didn't even know this place existed and it's pretty empty too, so now it's only us here now.

And as we are searching for the perfect spot to sit down as Rose got a little backache, she stops all of a sudden and gives my hand a little squeeze, making me stop too. I turn around and look at her confused.

"What happened?"

"I um… want to tell you something." she puts her hair behind her ear and looks down, her foot turning around a little rock in the too short grass.

I tilt her head by her chin and make her look at me. "What?" she bites her lip. "Don't tell me. You punched that wall today." I try to detense her and it works because she chuckles.

"No, I did not. You know I always keep my promises. It's something else…"

"If it's not that, then there's nothing bad."

"Of course there's nothing bad."

"So what's the problem? Just tell me."

"Well, you know that you told me once that I could go and talk to someone…" she takes my hands and starts playing with my fingers. "like… someone specialized in… shit?" and I remember how that day went and I swear I never want to see her that angry.

"I do. And I still think that you could do that. That you should." she opens her mouth to say something and I guess that she might want to protest so I bring my hand up and pass it through her hair, making her stop. "But if you don't feel ready for that right away, I won't push you. If you don't want to do it, it is completely fine. For now, at least. But you still need to talk to someone about it someday. And until then, just know that I will be here to listen anytime you need me to."

She looks at me and smiles and I can see that her eyes fill with tears as the moon's light reflects into her tears. "Thank you, Dimitri. That… means the world to me." and she rounds her arms on my torso and pulls me to her and brushes her cheek on my chest. "But I wanted to tell you that, in fact, I think I am gonna go see a therapist."

I can't cover the surprise on my face and in my voice. "You are?"

She nods and tilts her head to look at me. "Yeah, I know it may be weird coming from me after the show I pulled last time but, I don't know. I was thinking about what you told me and I came to the conclusion that it could help me somehow. Like, give me some advice or something therapists do. Not that you didn't help me so much, but…"

"Hey, I know I can't do them all."

"Trust me, you are good at enough things, comrade." she says with a playful smile on her face.

"So, do you want us to look for someone?"

"I already found someone in fact." wow. She is really determined to go. I can't be happier about this.

"When?"

"I have an appointment in two days."

"That's great."

"I just hope that she could… like… help me."

"Why do you say that? Why wouldn't she be able to help you?"

"I don't know...maybe..." she sighs and looks away. I hate it when she gets these phases of hopelessness. She used to be so cheerful.

I sit down on the grass and pull her down and she sits on my lap and once again, brings her fingers under my hoodie, across my forearm and walks them on my skin.

"Tell me what's the matter."

"What if I am damaged beyond repair? What if she can't fix me?"

"But Rose, you don't need to be fixed. There's nothing wrong about you. You just… need to deal with what happened. Besides that, you're still you. What happened, that didn't change the amazing person you are. And I know you can do it. I mean, look how far you have come." in only a week she opened up so much.

"You have too much trust in me. I might disappoint you, Dimitri."

I can't help but chuckle. "Oh, Roza. You could never disappoint me."

"I hope I don't." she sighs and lays her head on my shoulder and tilts it to watch the stars.

But our little moment gets ruined by my phone which starts ringing. "What's that?" she asks bothered.

"Just a reminder."

"Reminder of what?"

"Of your doctor appointment."

She frowns and gets her head up. "Is it week seventeen already?" she asks in disbelief. "Like, when did we get here?"

"Yes, it is. She's growing up fast, no?" I get my hands on her round belly and smiling, she puts hers above mine.

"She is. And I just can't wait to see her."

"Me too. I bet she will be as beautiful as her mother."

She chuckles. "Oh, aren't you a sweet talker?"

"And what, don't you like it?" I lean closer to her and whisper in her ear.

She chuckles once more and props her forehead over mine, "Oh, but no one said I don't love it." and she brings our lips together, letting me taste her sweetness. "Tell me more about it, Mister."

 **DPOV ends**

He chuckles and kisses his way to my ear, where he starts whispering to me, to my complete torture, in Russian as his fingers make their way under my hoodie and he walks his warm fingertips on my back. But soon, he pulls away and throws me a glance. "Rose, you're cold. Your back is cold." and he takes my hands in his. "Your hands are cold too." yeah, and there is Mister Concern spoiling our magic. But I love him for this.

"Not really. It's just a little chilly, no biggie." and I want to kiss him again, but he doesn't want to hear about it. Instead, he starts stripping down and he puts his hoodie on me. "Hey, but now you'll be cold. You're only wearing a T-shirt for the love of God."

"It doesn't matter." he says zipping the hoodie up to my neck.

"Yes, it does. I don't want you to get cold or something." and he gives me a weird look. "What? Can't I worry for you too?" and I want to undo the zipper but he stops me.

"Yes, you can. But now you don't. I will be fine."

I squint my eyes at him. "You know comrade? Sometimes you're way stubborn than I am."

He chuckles and kisses my cheek. "Can you imagine what would happen if I would be like this all the time?" and we both laugh. Oh, it would surely end badly. I am so lucky that he is always around to temper me.

* * *

And we get home and get ready for bed as I feel exhausted after all the things I have done today, but just before Dimitri comes and joins me in bed, I get my phone and search on the internet, looking on a site that's telling you about the things that happen to your baby along the pregnancy and get up to date with what happened to my little baby girl along this month I have practically been out, realizing how many things I have been missing, and I see the way she evolved to get now to the size of a large onion as the site is describing her. And as I read about the changes happening in the week seventeen, a smile comes across my lips. And that's the moment Dimitri enters the room.

"What's funny?" he comes and sits in bed next to me.

I practically shove the phone under his nose from how excited I got and he pulls away just in time so that I don't hit him. "Look! This site is saying that…" I get the phone back and start reading. "The baby's sense of hearing is making big strides this week. Her ears are close to being fully formed and she's starting to be able to hear your voice. That's awesome, isn't it?" I squeal.

Dimitri smiles warmly and nods. "It is." and he brings his hands over my abdomen, soothing it. "It really is amazing, Roza."

"Oh, shit. She's like, really hearing us." I realize it fully.

"Yeah, you just said that."

'No, like, she can really hear us speaking right now. Wow. Fuck, that's awesome."

"Well, if she is really hearing us, I suggest you to watch your language."

I laugh. "You're starting with that again?"

"I never really finished in fact."

"What? Are you afraid you'll get another me around the house?"

He smiles widely and comes closer to me to give me a little peck. "I am not afraid of that. I would love that."

And he moves his attention from me and gets his hands down on my body, lifting my nightgown and I halfway lay down, giving him space to do his thing. I simply love it when he does this. But this time, he doesn't stop at kissing my belly, he even starts speaking, but of course, he's doing it in his language, not in mine, so I am completely unable to understand a thing.

"Um, comrade, what are you doing there?"

He lifts his eyes and looks at me as he places another kiss on my bump. "I am talking to our daughter. Didn't you say she could hear me best now?"

"Yeah, I did. But I can't understand a thing."

"Of course you can't. We're having a private conversation here." he says smiling playfully.

"Oh, so you think you're funny, Mister?" I cross my hands over my chest and pout, but, in fact, it's really a funny situation and soon I start chuckling. "So, now that she can hear us, do you think we should, like, give her a name or something? Like, so she would know we're talking to her? Or would that be silly?"

"That wouldn't be silly at all, milaya. That would be nice."

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

When I come home the next day, I find Rose sleeping, and she's laying in bed, just in the middle of it, halfway covered by a blanket and laying on her side, with one of her palms over her belly and she's wearing nothing more than one of my T-shirts and she's looking so goddamn beautiful with her hair spread all over the pillow and I can't help myself and I can't suppress my urge to kiss her so I carefully sit in bed next to her and she feels me right away and she makes me some space.

"Hey…" she says yawning. "Is it evening already?" I nod and she comes closer and halfway puts her body over mine and I get my chance to kiss her. "How was work today?"

"Boring."

"Why?"

"Because there wasn't anyone there to entertain me."

She chuckles and walks the tip of her fingers on my cheek. "Maybe I would join you one day or two so that you won't get that bored."

"If you feel like it, that would make be great. But you can only come and visit. And anyway, no matter how boring it gets there, it's better to know you're home than to see you walking around that building all day long. "

"About that..." she says amused. "How's the new secretary?"

"Oh, she doesn't compare to my last one."

"Oh, really?"

"Mhm. Compared to her, this one I have now is a complete saint."

"Yeah, and completely boring by definition. Admit it Belikov. I was making your days better. Funnier too."

"You did, Roza. And you still do." and proud of herself and tilts her head and kisses my neck.

"Oh, but tell me this. Does she want to quit already? I mean, it's just her second day and well, you know how things used to work."

"Surprisingly, no. She doesn't want to leave." and we both laugh.

"Well, comrade, it seems like you're getting rusty." she says patting my chest. "Someone's been getting you softer lately."

"Yeah, I just wonder who could that be."

She shrugs. "Well, I guess we'll never know." and she lifts halfway and is so close to kissing me again, but then, she remembers something. "Hey, you know what I did today?"

"What?"

"I um… cooked you something. Baked, in fact."

"You did?" I ask in disbelief just to tease her.

"Hey." she squints her eyes at me. "That happened only _once_. Can't you forget about it?"

I pull her closer to me and kiss her forehead. "Of course I'll never forget about it." and she wants to protest a little but I don't let her. "What did you bake?"

"Can you guess?"

"I don't know, but I will suppose it contains peanut butter." she lately got back to her passion for this product.

"Yeah, it does. I made you peanut butter brownies. And I kind of like, already ate half of them so I suggest you should at least try one."

"That sounds delicious. But first, I got you something and I want to give it to you."

Her face fills with surprise. "You did? Why?"

"Why not?"

She smiles widely and then curiosity takes over her, just like I expected. "Then, what did you take me?"

"You'll see." I get off the bed and so does she and I take her into the living room.

"Where is it?" she looks all around the living room but doesn't find anything.

"Come here." I gesture her to follow me and I take her in front of a cupboard.

"What's this? You…?" she examines the exterior of the piece of furniture. "What am I supposed to see, comrade? I can't see anything new about this."

"It's not on the outside." and I show one door that is already slightly open.

"Okay..." and she opens it and I expect the small creature to come and greet her but nothing happens. She crouches and takes a look inside. "You brought me here to show me an empty space?"

"No, I didn't." I crouch too and look for that little bastard. "Where did it go?"

"Um, where did _what_ go?"

"The dog." I look around the room for it but I can't spot it.

Her jaw drops and she gets up to her feet. "What dog, Dimitri?"

"I have gotten you a dog and I put it in here so that you won't see it right away. I wanted it to be a surprise."

And one second later, she bursts into laughter, filling the whole room with that sweet sound. It's the first time in a long period I hear her laughing with so much ardor and I love it.

"Wait a second." she stops to calm her laughter as she's laughing so hard her stomach started hurting. "Let me get this right. You got me a dog and you kinda lost it, no?"

"I didn't lose it. It was right here."

"Yeah, and you thought it was a good idea to leave the door open?"

"I didn't want it to get scared in there or something and leaving the door open seemed like a good idea. Plus, I told it to sit in there." and he seemed pretty receptive about it when I left. I didn't know it would leave the first second I would turn my back on it.

She starts laughing even harder. "You told him to sit in there." she repeats and even some tears fall down her cheek, that amused she is about the situation and I must admit that I am too. And it's so good to see her like this after so long. "Okay. Wait a second." she says steadying her breath and wiping away the tears on her cheeks. "Gosh, that was funny. You…" and she chuckles some more, then comes to me and kisses me lightly. "You're amazing, Dimitri, but um… should we be looking for it now or something?"

"Yeah, we should."

"Okay, fine." And we search for it into the living room first, as we suppose it couldn't have gotten too far. We search behind everything and under everything but he is nowhere to be found. "It's not here, comrade. Maybe we should-" and we hear a sound like something heavy falling and it sounds like some glass hitting the ground. Rose turns to me with her eyes widened. "The kitchen." she says and we both head that way fast.

And there we find it, next to the cupboard where Rose is keeping her stash of peanut butter and the door is open and the little dog is excitedly walking around one jar that is laying on the floor, thank God that it didn't break, and it is jumping around and barking. The second she sees it, Rose squeals and goes to pick it up.

"Oh my God!" she looks at me smiling widely. "He's- is it a him?" " I nod and she lifts the golden retriever puppy, keeping it like it would be a baby and she's lightly wiggling it. "Gosh, he is adorable! He's a cutie. You're a cutie, yeah, you are." she talks with the dog into a baby voice and he barks, wiggling his tail. "Awww, and he has a bow too! Did you do this?"

"Well, the lady I bought it from thought you might like it."

"I do!" she squeals once more and starts petting the little fugitive. "And I like you too, you little fluff. You're completely adorable." then she comes closer to me. "Come on, let's say hi." she extends the dog my way and seeing me, it starts barking again as I pet him. "Does he have any name? Did that lady already give him one?"

"No. You can pick one you like."

"Hmm...but I have no ideas right now."

"I might have one."

"Yeah? Tell me." I point to the jar on the floor and she chuckles as she got what I wanted to say. "Hey, Peanut." she addresses to him and the dog barks. "Do you like it, buddy?" she cuddles the dog to her chest and he starts licking her cheek. Then, she turns her attention to me. "Why did you take me this? Not that I don't absolutely love him, don't get me wrong here. But still, where did this come all of a sudden?"

I shrug. "So that you won't be alone in here. I thought that Peanut over here might keep you some company as I am not around."

She bites on her lip smiling, and comes closer to kiss my cheek. "Thanks, comrade. That's very nice of you. And I love you for it." then remains there, leaning her head on my shoulder. "Hey…" she says with her eyes glowing all of a sudden, probably getting an idea.

"What?"

"We could like, do some practice."

"Practice about what? With what?"

"Oh, Dimitri, don't be silly. With the baby. Do some practice concerning the baby, in fact. We could start by taking care of Peanut. Wouldn't that be nice? He could be our little substitute until Sabina gets born. Like, maybe learn how to be responsible for someone else." the dog starts wiggling into her embrace. "See? He agrees too."

"Yeah." I say ruffling Peanut's fur. "That is quite a good idea, Roza."

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

Some hours later, after we search on the internet for some things for Peanut, picking some toys and all the things a puppy needs, Dimitri and I decide it's time to go to bed. And as we lay in bed, we hear some paws tapping on the floor, leaving the place we have put him into and he's getting close to the bed. Then, Peanut comes to my side and gets up on the bed with his front paws and looks at me with big eyes, just like he would be pleading. He wants to come in bed with us. And I must be sincere and admit that I can't resist him.

I turn to Dimitri and mimic Peanut's expression. "Can we let him up? Please, comrade?"

He smiles and looks at the dog. "I don't see any problem with that."

"Did you hear that buddy? You're allowed in bed." I say excitedly and pick him up and place him in between us on the bed, but he decides to jump to my side of the bed, close to the edge. So I turn his way and Dimitri does too, cuddling me from behind and as he reaches his palm towards my belly, Peanut starts growling at Dimitri, taking a threatening stance. I can't help but chuckle.

Dimitri lifts himself and watches the dog. "Really, buddy?" he asks amused but it doesn't back down.

"Aw, he's so sweet, protecting her." I forgot to mention it, but Peanut here has a little thing for my round belly. He seems fascinated by it and every time I hold him, he seems to be wanting to play with it.

"So what now? I can't touch you anymore?" he asks disappointed.

"Don't know, comrade. He seems to decide, right?" I say patting Peanut's head, and he doesn't seem to be letting go of his decision and he's still growling each time Dimitri gets his hand closer to my belly. "What do you say, buddy? Can't you both get to an armistice? I am sure you can work it out. I am available for both of you, you don't have to argue." and there's a little staring contest between the two of them, then Peanut finally gives in and starts licking Dimitri's hand and it lets him round his palm on my belly, then, it cuddles next to me, just under my belly, making itself a little ball and walking its wet nose on me. "Aw, he likes her so much." I whisper to Dimitri.

He places his head into the crook of my neck and kisses my cheek. "Of course it does. And he seems to like you very much too."

I laugh and turn my head to watch him. "Was that some jealousy I sensed in your voice, comrade?" and at this, Dimitri throws me a look. "You don't have to worry. You know you'll always have a special place in my heart."

He brings his hand up and caresses my hair. "Just like you do in mine, milaya." and he kisses me.

* * *

Then, it's time to get to sleep for goods. But the sleep doesn't seem to be coming for me. I just lay there and stare out the window and walk my fingers across Dimitri's hand. There's something bothering me but I can't really say what's it. I sigh deeply and turn to face the ceiling. What's wrong with me? I mean, what another thing is wrong with me?

And I was thinking that Dimitri was asleep but it seems that he's not because he holds me tighter and walks his lips across my cheek.

"What's the matter, Roza? What's keeping you awake? Tell me what's bothering you."

I turn my head and meet his eyes that look so dark now, but still, they keep their warmness. "I don't really know. It's just something…"

"Is it about tomorrow?"

"Maybe it's that too."

"But you don't have to be afraid of a therapist, Roza. She won't do anything to you. She won't bite."

"I know, but still…"

He brings his hand up and walks his thumb across my lips. "Just give it a try."

"I will. I am not backing down if that's what concerns you. I still want to do it."

"That's good. I am really proud of you, you know?"

I puff. "It's not like I am doing anything amazing."

"But you are. And by doing it, you show me how brave you are."

"Well, maybe I am not that brave." I must admit it, the thought of going to the therapist gives me some anxiety.

"And what can we do about that? There surely must be something."

"There might be something…"

"What?"

"Would you…. if you want of course… would you want to go with me there?" even if he won't go in there with me, just to know he's near would make me be more relaxed.

He smiles widely and kisses my nose. "I would love that, milaya."

* * *

"You know, Rose, I don't mind to be sitting here with you, but I guess you didn't come here to not say anything at all." the therapist tells me at about fifteen minutes after I entered her office. And she's right because after I told her who I am I kind of didn't know how to answer to her simple question about how I feel this morning and I just didn't say anything for so long. But the thing is that I can't really say exactly how I feel. Inside me, it's like a mixture of emotions and I can't say which ones prevail. "Why don't you tell me something else?"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Tell me something about your family. About your friends. About someone who matters to you. Tell me anything that passes through your mind right now."

"And how is talking about that supposed to help me?"

"Then what do you think talking about would help you?"

And there it is the reverse psychology thing I often heard of. I smile and look at the three paintings on the wall that depict a sea. If that is supposed to be calming, I tell you that it's working. "I don't know. Shouldn't you be telling me what's supposed to help me or not? Isn't it the reason I am here?"

"Oh, that's not the case, dear. I am only here to help you realize what's going to help you or not. I am not going to impose anything to you. If you think that talking about the weather would help you, then we can talk all day about the weather. It's all up to you, dear. Just pick something and we'll figure things out from there."

"Well, to answer your first question, I have no idea how I feel." and I scratch the inside of my forearm, being anxious.

"But there's nothing wrong with that, Rose. You don't have to always know how you feel. You don't have to always have it figured it out. And you need to know that you don't have to always be feeling someway. You can be feeling a lot of things at the same time."

And what she's telling me, I feel I can relate to it. "Well, I feel a lot of things right now."

"That's good. We can work with that. Tell me one of those. Then, we can move to another. "

I sigh and take another look at the calming blue of the waves drew on the canvas, but my answer isn't influenced by that. "I feel… anger."

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

I have waited for Rose for the past hour and now, as the last minutes of her therapy session are coming to an end, I am very curious to know what happened in there. I sit down, but I can't really be patient and I am tapping my foot on the floor. I really wish for things to have worked out okay for her.

And soon enough, my waiting comes to an end as the door of the office opens and Rose comes out. I get up on an instant and the first thing I see are her red eyes. She has been crying. When she sees me she smiles weakly and comes my way.

"Hey."

"Hey."

She takes a look around the room and scratches her forearm. "Um… shall we um… go?"

"Yeah, sure. Let's go." I take her hand into mine and we get down to the car and just before we enter, I stop her and cup her cheeks. "How was it?"

"It was good. Like, really good."

"But you've been crying."

She encircles my torso with her hands and places her head on my chest. "Yeah… I did..."

"Did she bite you or anything? Tell me because if so…" and she chuckles a little and I am glad to see that I have lightened up her mood a little.

"No, Dimitri, she didn't bite. She's, in fact, a really nice lady. And we talked about a lot of things… And it did me good..." she says and walks her fingers across my back as I hold her.

"And this means that…"

"Yeah. This means that I still want to go. And I am in fact coming again here next week."

"This is great, Roza. I am glad you want to do this."

"I am glad too. And you were right, you know?"

"About what?"

"About going to see someone. I guess I should have listened to you earlier."

"Hey, it's better late than never, right?"

She smiles. "Yeah, it is."

"Hey, I have an idea."

"What?"

"What would you say if I ditch work today and we go home and get Peanut and then we go somewhere?"

"Would you do that?"

"Of course I would. I told you you're more important than any business. And we can go anywhere you want."

"Then, I would love that."

And I open the door on her side and she takes a seat, but before I close it, she catches me by my wrist. "Comrade?"

"What?"

"Can we get ice cream too?" she asks biting her lip.

"Of course we can. We can get anything you want ." I lean and kiss her sweet lips. "Just name it and I'll make it happen."

"Thanks, comrade. You're the best."


	64. Chapter 64

**Two months later**

"Hey, what did I tell you about that?" Dimitri comes to me fast and snatches from me the box I was carrying and then he throws me an upset glare.

"Oh my God, Dimitri. It's full of toys. They barely weigh anything. They're all full with fluffy shit. That doesn't weigh anything. I can carry it."

"I don't want to hear it. We had this talk way too many times, Rose. Just touch another box and-"

"And what?" I ask crossing my hands over my chest and provoke him. "What are you going to do, comrade? Not let me do anything at all? You're already doing that. I just want to help."

"Well, you would help me more if you wouldn't be carrying things around."

I puff and don't argue some more about the lightness of the box filled with plushes. He wouldn't want to hear about it anyway. "But I want to do something too. I want to contribute somehow to that room. You don't have to do all the work by yourself. Let me do something too, pretty please." and I try my puppy face on him. I just hope this will work.

He sighs and puts the box down. He comes closer to me and places his hands on my lower back and pulls me to him, my belly bumping into him and I can't help but chuckle each time this happens and this time is no different. He looks at me and to my utter luck, he gives in. "Fine. You can help me… paint the walls if you want."

"Really?" I ask surprised and excited. He's finally letting me do something!

"But…"

I instantly fizzle out. "But what?"

He places his palms on my prominent bump and kisses my cheek. "Just don't tire yourself too much, okay? I don't want your back to hurt again, you know the doctor told you to be careful with that. If you feel like taking a break, just say it and we'll stop. We don't have to finish everything today, okay? Deal?"

"Deal, comrade." I agree right away and I almost hop all my way around the house as I follow him into the room we have decided to be Sabina's and it is still empty and all the little objects in here are covered with newspapers, and the room is far from being done but at its sight I can't help but get excited and start imagining all kind of things about this room because this only makes things more real. I just can't believe that in a couple of months our little girl will be born and that she will be sleeping in here every single night.

I put my hair into a bun and get ready for work. And we paint for a couple of hours, mostly talking, laughing and playing with Peanut rather than doing the work, but who cares because it all feels great and as the walls start turning light pink so seems to happen with my life, or at least with my day and I focus on everything good in my life right now, on the man sitting on the floor next to me as we are both leaning over an unpainted wall and we're taking a well-earned break and we're eating peanut butter and jam sandwiches and we're drinking hot chocolate and we're listening to '80s love songs and we're not speaking but we don't need that because he's holding my hand and he's walking his thumb across it and I sit with my head leaned on his shoulder and I just feel at peace here, with him.

* * *

"Hey, what would you say if I call Lissa and she comes around one day and she paints something on the walls? She could do something cute, she has the talent to do so." I ask as I am focused on walking the paintbrush on the wall in front of me, careful not to miss any spot.

"That would be nice. What would you like it to be?"

"I don't know. Something girly maybe. We'll have the time to think about it."

"Yeah, but maybe not so much." he reminds me.

"Yeah, but just enough. Three months won't pass that fast, no?"

"Yeah, we still have some time left."

And we get back to painting and a strand of hair escapes the clasp on my bun and it falls just into my face and I try to put it back with the back of my wrist as my palms have ended being covered with pink paint and I don't want to get it into my hair too but anything I do I just can't put it back. Dimitri stops moving and turns to look at me, a smile on his face.

"Hey, I am no movie. Help me if you feel like it, but don't stare at me, comrade." I still try to get the hair out of my face but don't get it right and he chuckles and he does it for me, then remains in front of me, watching me. He brings his hands up and pulls the mask off my face and he leans closer for a kiss. I pull away to look at him and we both smile and we bring our lips together once more.

"I love you, Roza."

"I love you too." I say and round my hands on his neck and hug him tight. When I pull away, there's a wet stain of paint that glues our shirts together for a second. I take a look at ourselves. "We're all dirty, comrade." and how couldn't we be if we decided to play with the paint instead of putting it on the walls?

He gives me a cheeky smile. "Well, I might have a solution for that."

"Does it involve taking our clothes off?"

"Maybe."

I get closer to him and nuzzle my nose along his cheek. "Hm, I like how that sounds, comrade."

* * *

 **DPOV begins**

She wants to visit Tasha. I can't believe this. She wants to go and see that woman. And she is now sitting in front of me as we're having breakfast and she's telling me this. And I still can't believe it. Why would she want to do it? I thought that we ended that chapter, that we moved on.

"Did she tell you to do this?"

"Who?"

"The therapist."

"Oh. No. She didn't say anything about it. In fact, I um… I came with this idea."

"And she agreed? Does she think it would be a good thing to do?" because I don't.

"Well, as a matter of fact, she did. She said that if I really want it, I should do it."

"And do you really want it?"

"I do, Dimitri. I really do. I want to see her…"

"But why?" why would she want to go back to all that?

She looks down at her plate and plays with her food, then sighs. "I don't really know. I just want to talk to her, maybe. I don't know. But I want to see her. I want… I don't really know what I want. But I guess I'll find out when we get there."

"We?"

She brings her hand over mine and entangles our fingers. "Yes, we. Because I want you to go with me."

"You do?" I am surprised about this. I was thinking that she might be wanting to go there alone. Not that I would have let her, but still, I am glad that she wants me to go with her.

"Yes. I want you to be there with me."

"Are you sure about this?" I am still skeptical about it.

"Yes. I really feel like I need to do this. I want to do it."

"I don't know, Roza…"

"Hey. Please. Come on. I know you worry about me and that this is the reason you don't want me to go there, but I want you to know that I'll be fine. That I am fine. And it won't affect me, I promise."

Sighing, I bring her hand up to my lips and kiss her knuckles. "And even if I still say no, you'd still go, right?"

She smiles. "Yeah, maybe. Maybe not now, but I would someday. I just feel the need to see her, to speak to her. And this is why I am asking you to go there with me Dimitri, so that I wouldn't have to go there on my own, so that you would be there and see. So that there won't be any reason for you to worry. I…" she brings her hand up on my cheek. "I really want to do it. But I don't think I want to do it alone."

* * *

And we go there. I am still reticent about it, but if she wants me to be there for her, I will be there for her, no matter what. And we get there and at first, as the guard informs Tasha that we want to see her, she doesn't want to come to meet us and I get the hope that we might head back home, but Rose doesn't give up. She transmits her a message through the guard: "Tell her that after everything she has done to me, at least I deserve this, for her to come and meet me, to talk to me. I don't want too much of her time. Just a couple of minutes, that's all."

And she comes. We get into a room and we sit across a table, facing each other and no one's saying anything for the first minutes and we look at each other and Rose studies her. I do too. It seems that jail time, even for just a couple of months, didn't do her any good. She isn't used to this kind of life. But she'll have to, as she has to spend a lot of time in here. She looks tired, she has dark circles under her eyes and she has lost some weight, her cheeks looking hollow, and he hair has grown and now she's keeping it tied at the back of her head.

And after those moments of silence, Tasha speaks first. "What do you want now?" she leans back in her chair and takes an offensive pose, crossing her arms over her chest. "Rub it in my face? Here, come on, do it. That's it, no? Come on, say it, I am not afraid of hearing it. I am in here and you two…" she stops and walks her eyes on Rose. "three, my bad, are out there living happily, right? That's what you wanted to talk about? About how happy you two are?" how the hell can she act like this when she is the guilty one?

But what happens next, doesn't take just Tasha by surprise, but me too. Rose leans forward and takes Tasha's hands into hers and from the shock, she doesn't pull away, she just stares at her and so do I, waiting for what's next. "No, I don't want to do that. I just want you to know that I forgive you."

Tasha's eyes widen and so do mine. She what? "You _what_?" she vocalizes my question after a couple of seconds in which she stares at Rose with her mouth open.

Rose takes in a deep breath. "I forgive you, Tasha."

And she laughs and pulls her hand back. "Stop playing the saint, Rose. Aren't you tired of that?"

"I am no saint. And I am not even trying to be. I don't want to be one. There's only one thing I want. I just want to move on with my life."

"So what? Just like that? You want to forget it? Fine. Forget it, do whatever you want, but don't come in here and deliver me shit like this."

Seeing the way she's speaking my whole body tenses and I want to snap at her, but I feel under the table Rose's leg gluing to mine and she stops me.

"I want to forget it, Tasha. I really do. But I don't think I'll ever can. But still, I want to break free of it. I want to leave it behind me. And the only way I can do it is to forgive you. And I hope that it will help you somehow too." she speaks so calmly and I just can't believe what she's saying. She wants to forgive her. Oh, Roza. You're too good to her.

"What? You think that if you will come to me and tell me you forgive me things will magically change? Maybe just for you, honey. But for me? I will be sitting here a long while." and she's acting like it's Rose's fault that she got herself in this situation and I can't help myself.

I promised Rose I would behave, but hearing her talk like this, I can't. "That is no one's fault but yours, Tasha. You have brought this to yourself. Just for once in your life, take responsibility for your actions." I say and my voice comes out so cold and for the first time ever since we entered the room she looks at me and she shots me a hurt look and I must admit that even if it may be wrong, it brings me pleasure to hurt her.

Rose brings her hand over my fisted palm and calms me by walking her thumb on my skin. I get a hold of her hand and hold her tight.

"I am really sorry that you'll have to spend so much time in here wasting your life."

I turn and look at her. "Rose…" she squeezes on my hand and looks at me, asking me with her eyes to stop. And I stop. I let her say what she wants to say. I only came in here to be next to her.

"Come on, you just want to make yourself feel better. So, yeah. Come on, just say it, do what you need to and be gone. I don't have much time to waste." she keeps on acting rude.

Rose smiles weakly and brings her hand up, taking Tasha's once more. "Look. I won't pretend I didn't hate you. I did. For a long time. I still do sometimes, I won't deny that. I would be a hypocrite if I would. And I know you did too. And maybe you still do hate me. But all this hate brought us nothing good. Look where we are now. It was hard for me, it still is. It was hard for you back then and maybe it still is. And maybe you won't believe me, but I want you to know that I forgive you and that I don't hate you anymore. Or at least that I am trying not to. You were hurting and you did what you did in order to cope with that. I am not finding you any excuses, but I now know how that feels. And it must have been so hard for you because you had no one to be there for you." she says and she looks at me with the corner of her eye. "It was all our faults at times. We all did something wrong and it all lead to that situation." and as Rose keeps on talking I see something I haven't seen often. Something I haven't ever seen in fact. Tears begin to stroll down Tasha's cheeks as she's listening to Rose.

She pulls away fast and angry and gets up and the chair she was sitting on falls on the floor. "Get out! Get out now and take your shit with you! I don't want to hear it! Go away now!"

"Fine. I won't bother you anymore. I said everything I wanted to say." Rose gets up as Tasha picks up her chair and sits down again, looking down.

We get to the door, and I get out first and before Rose gets to close the door behind her, Tasha calls her name. "Yes?" she opens the door back and gets her head inside and I see her palm holding tight onto the doorknob.

"I am sorry." I hear Tasha's voice breaking. "For everything." I hear her faint voice.

"It's alright. I forgive you, Tasha." Rose says calmly and she waits for a second and when nothing more happens, she takes a step back and closes the door, leaving Tasha in there, I hope that for forever. And after that, she takes in a deep breath and lets out a long sigh and leans over the wall next to the door and tears start falling down her cheeks and seeing her like this again breaks my heart all over again. This is what I was afraid of.

"Hey…" I get my arms around her and pull her to me and she starts sobbing lightly. "Roza…" I soothe her hair and she places her forehead on my chest, rounds her hands on me and lets out another small sob. "I am fine, Dimitri. I really am. I am fine now, I promise."

 **DPOV ends**

* * *

I wake up hastily along the night and start shaking Dimitri who is comfortably laying next to me, with his arms wrapped around me and his head buried into the crook of my neck and it is such a pity that I have to wake him up because he's looking so sweet sleeping right now, but I can't let him lose this. I bet he would get upset if I wouldn't wake him up.

"Comrade, hey, wake up." but he doesn't respond to me, he just lets out a sigh and takes a better position and holds me tighter. "Hey." I poke his upper arm. "Dimitri, wake up." and he's so tired because not even this wakes him up and if he doesn't wake up soon he might miss it! "Dimitri." I whisper raising my voice just a little and his eyes snap open and he gets up.

"What happened? Are you okay?" he gets very alert all of a sudden. "Is the baby fine?" and his hand gets in between my legs and heads up slowly, searching for something wrong, but I place mine over his and stop him. The doctor told us that if I keep on having those bad dreams I would be prone to losing my baby from how bad I used to react to them, and he keeps on worrying for that, but I haven't dreamt anything bad in months. But I guess he might be thinking I had one because if what happened earlier today. And I tried to wake him up slowly but I guess I was way too excited and in the haze of sleeping he got it wrong.

"Hey." I cup his cheeks and look into his alert eyes. "I am fine. I am great. There was no bad dream." and with my words, he sighs and relaxes. Then, he passes his fingers through my hair and pulls me into his embrace, placing my cheek on his shoulder.

"Then what's the matter, Roza?" I don't say anything, I just pull away and he gets even more confused. "What's wrong?"

I smile. "There's nothing wrong." I lift my nightgown, exposing my round abdomen and take his hands and I place them on my belly.

"Okay, you woke me up to-" and that's when he feels it and I feel it too and it feels amazing! His eyes light up and his lips turn into the most beautiful smile on earth. "She's kicking." he says in awe and moves his palms on my skin. "Oh, she did it again." he says chuckling. "This feels amazing, Roza."

And from all the noise we have been making, of course that little Peanut wakes up and he comes from his place that we have hardly made him sit into, and he comes up into bed to inspect what's going on. And he heads for the most important spot in here, my belly and he steps over our hands, getting them out of the way, and he's wiggling his tail left and right fast, excitement filling him. He comes and places his wet nose on my skin, searching for something out of the ordinary, and we all wait. And when Sabina moves again, he jumps back and starts barking. Dimitri picks him up. "Hey, what's the matter, buddy? What's happening in there?" he says and brings Peanut closer to my belly again. "She's kicking buddy."

* * *

 **One week later**

I wake up way before Dimitri does and I just feel the need to look at it once more. I turn to the other side and open the drawer of my nightstand and take out a little box, take a deep breath and open it for the hundredth time this week and I look at its content, I take it into my palm and feel the cold material on my skin. You know what? I am going to do it today. I don't know when, I don't know how I am going to do it, I have no idea how this would go, but I know I want to do it. I don't want us to wait. I want to ask him that special question. Fuck that shit with the man having to do everything. _I_ am going to ask Dimitri to marry me. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and I don't want to wait for longer. He has already asked me and he hasn't done it again, but why should I be waiting for him to do it again? I am doing it tonight, that's it. I just need to find a proper moment. I smile just by thinking about it and as I feel Dimitri moving behind me I put the box back and turn back to him and lay back on him and go back to sleep. I would need the energy as there's a long day ahead of us.

* * *

I am sitting in front of the mirror inside the dressing room and take one last look at myself. I look really nice. Okay, nice is not really the word I have in my mind. I look rather hot, even though I have these proportions. I mean, six months and a half are a lot. But anyway. I am wearing a burgundy dress, made completely from lace, that stops just over my knees, emphasizing perfectly my black heeled Louboutins. Yeah, I know I sound somehow hypocritical, considering that there was once a someone who I used to judge for owning a pair, but I just saw them one day on sale and I just had to have them. This dress has short sleeves and bare shoulders, letting visible a little part of my constantly growing cleavage. And it is tight. Everywhere. Like, it might pop if I bend too much tight. I haven't tried it again after buying it last week, my bad, but I didn't think that I would get that big in just a couple of days. but it happened. But to hell if I am taking it off. I like it too much and today is a special occasion anyway so I won't die for a couple of hours.

As I still analyze myself, I catch a glimpse of Dimitri into the doorway. He's already dressed up and ready to go. I am glad that I insisted on him wearing this dark grey suit because it makes him look so fucking hot. And as I see the dark red tie at his neck I squeal internally. We are matching. And he looks so fucking hot, leaning on his shoulder on the door frame and he has a cheeky smile on his face and I start feeling horny all of a sudden. I just can't wait to see him without his coat on. Can you imagine? All his muscles on his arms and… Ah, I really need to stop before things get heated up in my head. I slap myself internally. I need to be composed.

His deep brown eyes are moving up and down on me, checking me out too.

"Do you see something you like?"

He smiles devilishly and detaches from the wooden frame. "So, _so_ , many things." he comes closer and turns me around to face him. "Like this." he passes his hand through my hair, that I let free especially for him. "And this." he kisses my nose. "Oh, and this." he gets his hand on my ass and squeezes one of my cheeks. "It got so full, Roza." he says walking his nose across my neck. "And you look _so hot_." and he gives my ass another squeeze.

"Easy there, comrade. We might not get to where we have to be if you keep on going like this." not that I wouldn't be down to ditch two hundred guests for him and spend the whole night in bed. I am totally down for that.

"Do we really have to go?" he asks like whining and his hands get up on my back, dragging me closer.

I chuckle. "Don't know. Isn't this your event? You are the main attraction. So you tell me."

He growls lightly and moves his hands in circles on my back. "Fine, we'll go. Are you ready?" he asks taking another look at me. And when he reaches my feet, his expression darkens. "You're not wearing those."

"Why not? Don't they look nice?"

"They may do, but you're not wearing those heels. They're too high."

"Oh, come on. It's noth-"

He looks at me with an expression that's telling me that I should better stop protesting, so I do it. "Except changing your shoes, is there anything you need to do or are you ready?"

"Almost. I just need to put on my lipstick."

He takes the lipstick from the table and opens it, and looks at it. I look at him smiling. "Do you even know how to use that?"

He shrugs. "How hard can it be?"

"Well, it can be pretty hard to get it right."

"Well, then I guess we'll see how it goes." and before painting them into that nude color, he kisses me lightly.

* * *

We get out of the building and right there, in front of me is a big ass black limousine.

"Really comrade?"

"Well, if it's a special occasion I thought that we could go in style, right?"

"Yeah, why the hell not?"

We get in and take a seat on the cold leather. Hell, it's really nice and comfy in here and we even have a bucket full of ice that covers an expensive bottle of champagne that unfortunately I am not allowed to touch, but I say it's worth the trouble. For my little bug, I would go all my life without alcohol.

I enjoy the ride as I halfway lay on the sofa, with my bare feet fully extended on the other sofa in front of me because this is the only position I can sit comfortably with my belly in this dress. Fuck this dress; I should have taken another one, but it is way too late for that and I can't do anything about it now, so I decide to focus on something else. So I look at him. He is looking down, rereading his speech from his cards, with his eyebrows knitted and he's passing his hand through his hair several times. He is so stressed, but why? I mean, this must not be the first time he does this thing. From what I heard around, the last party he threw was awesome. And I am nervous too about the asking him thing, but he is way worse than me. And he just has to deliver a speech in front of some people. Ah, what am I talking about? If I would be him, I would be way worse. I still hate talking in public. But him? He's like, made for it. I just can't understand why he's so nervous about it.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I walk my thumbs across his outer thigh.

"Huh?" he lifts his head from those cards. "Nothing." he places his hand over my foot and plays with my toes. "I was just taking a last look on my speech." and he goes back to his precious cards, switching them over and over again, rearranging and reading his discourse. Hell, he must have known it by heart by now.

I scoop on the chairs of the sofa and get closer to the driver.

"Excuse me, but how much is it going to take us to get there?"

"About twenty to thirty minutes Miss. The city is quite crowded today." eh well, I was the one who chose this restaurant out of town.

"Oh, no problem." this is just giving me enough time to do what I want. "Can you roll up the partition, please?"

"Of course Miss." he does that and in addition, he turns up the volume of the music on his side. Well, it seems that I was quite obvious. This, or he is used to things like these. Meh, I don't really care now.

I get back to my spot in front of Dimitri and I snatch his cards out of his hands.

"Hey, give those back." he seems really upset about that and he reaches for them, but I take them out of his way.

"Why? Do you have something to hide?" I ask playfully.

|What? No. No, I don't."

"Oh, really? Let's see." I just want to play some more. I take a look at the next card. It's just his perfect calligraphy spread on the sheet.

"Rose." he says with a sigh.

"What?" I move on to the next card and I reach the end of his speech with thanks and everything.

"Give those back." he reaches for them once more but I throw them away, the sheets spreading on the limousine floor and chairs.

"Don't you worry about this comrade. Anything you would say people are going to love it. It's not like you are going to perform heart surgery. You can deliver a speech like this at any hour day and night. So why are you so stressed out?"

He is distracted for a second as he pats the pocket of his coat and then shakes his shoulders. "I guess that it's just an important event, that's all."

So I try to get his mind off it. "You know? We still have at least twenty minutes to get to the restaurant."

"So?"

"I don't know, I was thinking that I might...maybe I could help you destress a little." I say raising my eyebrows.

He smiles and bites his lip. "Mhh, I like how that sounds."

So I waste no time. I lift from my spot and get to him. I get on top of him and sit on my calves as I straddle him. There is this thing under my right knee that feels weird. I reach it with my hand and it is a piece of paper that I previously threw away. I take it from there and when I want to look at it, Dimitri takes it off my hand fast, crumbles it and throws it on the floor.

"Leave that." uuu, someone is impatient.

But do you remember what I told you about my dress? About how fucking tight it is and that if I might do a wrong move it would probably pop? Well, as I set myself completely on him, that bitch decides to crack. And now I have a hole somewhere around my coccyx. We both laugh.

"So what do I do now? We can't get back, can't we? We're already too far and we would be late. And I am so not going to show my ass to all these people."

"Of course you are not. That's only mine to watch." and still smiling, he takes out his phone and speaks with someone, asking for another dress for me.

"So where were we?" he asks after he ends the call and the thing has been taken care of. His hands go down on my body and he inserts his fingers into the crack and pulls downward hard, ripping the rest of the material. Then he pulls some more, tearing the upper side of the dress as well and then takes it off fast. Then he goes right for it and he begins to grip on my skin hard as he bites and kisses on my neck. Oh, I love it when he's rough.

* * *

Thirty pleasurable minutes later and a stop along the way to get myself dressed, we finally get to the restaurant. I like more the dress that I am wearing now. It's long, black and gives me a more classy look and well, it makes me look thinner too.

Before everybody else arrives, I take a last look around. Well, bossing people around for the last couple of weeks was totally worth it. Everything looks just the way I wanted and I can't be more pleased.

Dimitri and I spend a lot of time first greeting our guests and friends and family and then going to speak to all of them, just before the real thing starts. But before the food comes and people can go enjoy themselves, Dimitri has to deliver his speech. He gets to the side of the enormous fancy room, where the microphone is, and catches everyone's attention. I am so, so proud of my man and everything he does every single day.

"Good evening everyone. My friends, it has been a long ten years since I laid the foundations of Belikov enterprises. It hasn't always been easy, but here we are all, today…" And just as I predicted, he enchants every single person in this room with his words and as always, he enchants me and I just can't wait for a second to catch him alone to ask him.

"And lastly, I would like to take a moment to thank my beautiful lady over here for making this night possible and for everything else she does for me and for all her support and her love." and everybody's attention turns to me and they begin to clap their hands and I sit awkwardly in my spot and smile, not knowing what else to do. After the cheering ceases, Dimitri speaks again. "Thank you all for coming here tonight and enjoy your evening, everybody."

The first thing he does is to come my way.

"Hey, you didn't have to do that."

"Do what?"

"That thing from earlier. It's not that big of a deal, you know? I just mostly talked to people."

"No, Rose. Everything is perfect and this is all on you. Thank you for taking care of everything. This night is amazing because of you. You deserve all the credit for it."

I give him a big smile. "It was all my pleasure, comrade. But does this mean that I am in for a reward huh?"

He chuckles and passes a hand through my hair. "Of course you are. Do you want it now or later?"

"Hm… what about now _and_ later?"

He chuckles. "We have a deal. Would a dance do the thing for now?"

I agree and he takes me by my hand, taking me towards the center of the room, where other people are dancing. Before we reach our spot, I catch Dimitri nodding into the direction of some waiter and the man does the same, into some accomplice gesture.

"What was that?"

He places a hand on my lower back, pulls me closer and then moves it up and down on my back, then with his other hand, he takes mine and brings it up to his lips to kiss it. "'What was what?" he tries to sound innocent.

"That thing from earlier wit-" and the song on the background changes and I am like eighty percent sure that I know this song. It sounds so familiar! "Hey, isn't this-"

He grins and takes my hand into his once more and I place my other on his shoulder. "Yes, it is. The song we first danced on."

"But how did you even found it? It's like… all just instrumental shit."

"Well, anything for my lady." and he kisses my forehead as we dance and I remember how good it felt to dance with him back then and now it feels a thousand times better and I love him so much for doing this for me.

After the song ends, he entangles our fingers and drags me towards the exit.

"Where are we going?"

"I want to show you something."

I follow him and we stop before going out, just beside a wooden door. He gets a piece of cloth out of his pocket and signals me to turn around.

"Is this a surprise?"

"Definitely." and he places the silky material over my eyes and ties it at the back of my head. Before going further he cups my cheeks and pulls my lips into a kiss. It's so weird and so awesome at the same time. My visual sense being inhibited, it's like I can feel him better and at first, we kiss lightly but soon I move my hands up in his hair and deepen it as I feel like I can't get enough of him.

He breaks contact with a chuckle. "Not now, Roza. I want to show you this first."

And I pout. But I want him to kiss me and never stop. "Just one more, please." and he gives me a little peck and then comes behind me, places one hand around my shoulder and opens the door in front of us and I feel the chilly air outside brushing over my skin. I walk slowly with him guiding me around. It's quite chilly in fact outside and I can feel some grass as we get further. And we walk for some minutes, as I have to move slowly so that I won't trip. Then we stop. He turns me, positioning me and then comes behind me.

"Are you ready?" I nod excitedly to see what's the thing and he unties the knot at the back of my head.

And as the material falls, I see what's in front of me. We are indeed on grass but the most of it is covered with flower petals, and around us are trees, forming some kind of hidden sanctuary outside. And God, attached to them, above us is a big curtain of fairy lights and all over the place are all kind of flowers. This is magnificent.

He's still behind me and he's walking his fingers along my arm. "I wanted to thank you for everything and-"

"Oh, Dimitri you really didn't have to." I say and I can't take my eyes of what's in front of me. There are so many flowers and everything is colored in pink and yellow petals and these lights look amazing! "I loved doing it, so don't you worry about it. And… gosh, I love this place."

"Do you like it?" Dimitri asks still from behind me.

"God, it's so beautiful! How could I not like it?" I respond and still look in awe at the view. "Did you do all of this?"

"Rose?"

'Yeah?'

"Turn around." what else should I see?

I turn and I am expecting to find him looking at me, but he is not there. He's not up there. I move my gaze down and my breath comes to a halt as I see him. "Oh my God." I squeal and bring my palm over my mouth. He is here, kneeling before me, a beautiful smile on his face and a little open box in his hand. My heart begins to beat faster and I feel so light all of a sudden. It's like I am flying. I can't believe this is happening.

And then, he speaks and it all gets more wonderful if possible. "You are the love of my life and I can't imagine even a single day without you near me. I want all of you, forever." I wipe some of the rebellious tears that decided to escape my eyes with trembling hands and his smile gets even wider. "Roza, will you make me the happiest man on earth and be my wife?"

I nod continuously because I can't seem to get any words out of my mouth and get down on my knees too on the grass, facing him. I cup his cheeks and laugh-cry. "Yes, Dimitri. Yes, yes, yes. A thousand times yes." and we kiss and God, this is the sweetest kiss ever. His palm is on my cheek and he gives me little pecks and we both smile and I am still crying but gosh, I am just so happy and there's too much of it I can't keep it in me! When we pull apart he takes my hand and puts the ring on my finger. And we sit there, holding hands, looking at each other, big smiles on our faces. Gosh, I love this man so much!

And as we sit down there in silence a little more, surrounded by that amazing landscape, I remember one thing and I start chuckling.

"What happened?" I reach for my purse and get out my box and show him my ring for him. "What is this?"

"I wanted to ask you the same thing tonight."

He chuckles and gets close to my ear. "Then, I am glad I did it first. Seeing your face light up was wonderful. You have no idea how beautiful you looked. The look on your face, Roza…" he sighs and kisses me once more.

"But still, can I...?"

He smiles and lets me slip the ring on his finger and we sit for more there, in silence, holding hands and enjoying our wonderful moment. Then all of a sudden, some sprinklers pop up and cold water showers over us. I squeal in surprise and we get up and Dimitri rounds his arms around me, picks me up and spins me around, both of us laughing. When he puts me down we are already soaking wet, but who cares about that? All I care about is the man in front of me. He takes my hands into his and leans forward and places his forehead on mine and I lose myself for the billionth time into his deep eyes.

"I love you, milaya."

"I love you too, Dimitri. So much."

* * *

 **Another week later**

I come back into our room carrying Emily into my embrace just after I have fed her and I put her tiny body into the crib, making sure she has everything she needs to go to sleep and I entertain her a little by wiggling in front of her eyes her toy sheep that she never goes anywhere without, and she giggles and takes the plush from me and cuddles next to it with her teeny hands still keeping a hold of the sheep and I let her there, knowing that there's nothing for me to worry about. She's such a sweet, good girl and taking care of her for the past week has been such an easy job. I was afraid at first when Lissa and Christian asked us to take care of their little treasure as they have decided to go on a real honeymoon, as their first was way too short, but I must admit that Dimitri and I are doing just fine. It seems that our practice with Peanut is paying off.

I turn my back to the crib to head for the bed and I see Dimitri sitting on the floor, his western in his lap, but he's not reading. Instead, he's looking at me and he's smiling warmly. "What?"

"Nothing. I just love seeing you like that."

"Well, you won't have to wait for too long to see me doing it all day long." I say pointing to my belly that feels like it would be ready to pop anytime soon, but it's not in fact because I am still far from my due.

"Oh, I just can't wait, milaya."

I get closer to him and he extends me his hand and I take it and I lay on my back in bed and he turns to one side and he's still holding on my hand and he's playing with his fingers along my skin as he goes back to reading. I get my head on the edge of the bed, letting it hover and I look at an upside down of everything and as I examine everything around me, all of a sudden, I get this overflow of happiness in me. Everything feels so good. I feel so good. And I just love everything around me. I love the way little Emily is quietly babbling into the crib in our room with a sleepy voice and I know that she will soon start purring, being in dreamland. I love the way Peanut is sitting just beside the crib and watching her full of curiosity, his tail wiggling excitedly and the way he's not making any sound just not to disturb the little human next to him and I love how much care he takes of her and I just think of how he will be around our baby and how they will get growing together and of how they will be best buddies for life. I love the way the city lights move out the window this night and I love the brightness of the stars on the sky and all the constellations they form. I love this painting on the wall and I love all its bright colors and I love what it means to me. I love the way I feel tonight and the way my soft pyjamas feel on my skin and I love the way the light reflects into the metal loop around my finger that means so much to me and I just can't believe what happened no more than ten days ago and just by remembering that day, I get this feeling of warmness washing all over me. I love this rounding on my abdomen, and I love to know that there's little Sabina growing inside and I just can't wait to see her and I love the way she's hearing me each time I speak to her and I tell her that I love her and I just can't wait for her to respond to me and to hear her sweet voice every single day. I love how it sounds when Dimitri is turning the pages of his book and the soft sound of his steady breathing next to me and the way he's touching my skin with the tip of his fingers and I love feeling his scent all around me and it makes me feel like home. And I love him. So, so much.

I move my hand up and walk my thumb across his cheek. "Comrade?"

He lifts his head and looks at me. "What?"

"Kiss me." He complies and brings his lips over mines into a sweet upside-down kiss and I swear I feel like into a Spiderman movie and I can't help it but to love this thing too. I am just so goddamn happy. When he pulls away I turn to one side and prop my head on my hand and start playing with his hair, walking my fingers on the back of his neck. "You know? I think I could get used to this. To all of this." I say taking a look at the crib too and Dimitri looks at me smiling. "What? Why are you smiling like that?"

"Well, if our daughter will get from you not only your beauty, I highly doubt she'll be as tranquil as Emily."

I get up and cross my hands over my chest? "Oh, really? So what do you want to insinuate? That I am somehow naughty? That I am bad?" I ask trying to sound as innocent as possible.

He chuckles. "Oh, I am not insinuating anything Roza. I know for sure."

"Yeah? Where do you know from?"

He shrugs. "I just know."

"Oh, don't act like you don't like it, Belikov."

"But who said I don't? I love it."

"Yeah? You want a little demonstration?"

He smiles playfully and lifts on the bed, leaning on his hands and he reaches his lips for mines. "I always do." and he kisses me.


	65. Announcement :)

**Hello everybody! I just wanted to let you know that for this time, I am cannot keep my promise to update on time, and I am going to update the last chapter on Saturday. This weekend is Easter for me and my family and I have too little time to get writing as I have a lot of things to do around the house and I see myself obliged to delay the day of the update. Plus, I want to write a good chapter and that takes some more time this time as I want it to be emotional (a thing that I hope I'll manage to do), so this is why I prefer to update on Saturday, rather than updating on Thursday and not writing it the way I want it to be.**

 **I hope you all will understand my delay and won't get upset about it :)**

 **Lots of looooooooove!**


	66. Chapter 66

**Hiiii! As you all know, this is the last chapter and with this, this fanfic is officially over and I feel like I am on the verge of crying, really. I have invested so much time and ideas in writing it and getting to the point of actually finishing it is a _huge_ thing for me. Of course, I couldn't have done it without all your support and suggestions and all the things you have shared with me guys and I am so grateful for each and everyone of you, no matter if you just only read my story or decided to give me a review. It has been a great experience and I am planning on coming back with another story as soon as I get a good idea. This writing thing has started to get somehow addictive for me.**

 **About today's chapter, what I can tell you is that it is going to be long. The longest I have written so far, but I just couldn't not write all those ideas that kept on coming into my head. I hope that you'll like it!**

 **And for the last time, lots of love to everyone! I love you guys! :)**

* * *

I wake up early with Dimitri's arms still wrapped around me and cuddling me from behind, his head placed into the crook of my neck and he's still asleep, his steady breath brushing on my neck. His arm that is under me is with the forearm upward and my eyes inevitably land on his scar. He has one too, from that day. We both have something, bigger or smaller, to always remind us of that damned day. I bring my hand up and walks my fingers along the fading line on his skin and sigh. But you know what? All we have now are memories. Terrible memories, but still, they can't affect us anymore. We won't let them. And it all passed. It's all gone. And we're so good. We're good now and this is all that matters.

"Hey." he whispers in my ear into a sleepy voice and nuzzles his nose along my neck.

I turn to face him and meet his smiling face. "Good mornin', comrade." and for some minutes, we sit like that and look at each other, smiling stupidly and touching from time to time. "So… are you excited about today?" I ask him barely controlling my excitement.

His smile widens and he runs his fingers through my hair. "How could I not be excited? After this day, you'll be mine forever. What more could I wish?"

I snuggle to his chest and he starts drawing lines on my back. "I am glad that we get to spend some time together before everything sta-"

And this is the second we hear some knocking at the door. Dimitri growls. "You have got to be kidding me. They're here already? They told me they would arrive later." he almost whines and I must admit that I share his little disappointment. I hoped that we would have some more alone time before this crazy day would start, but it seems it won't happen.

"Well, it seems like being early runs in the family." I say chuckling.

He pulls me closer and wraps himself around me. "Maybe it's not them. And if we ignore it, they'll go away." but then we hear another knock and I see myself obliged to give him an admonitory look. We can't ignore them forever. He puts his forehead on my shoulder and sighs. "Fine, I am going." he kisses me and then gets out of the bed and out of the room. I get up too and put a robe on me to have a more decent look and go greet my soon to be family. Well, let the fun begin.

* * *

So this is it. Our big day. It's really happening. And it's happening today. I just can't believe it! It all seems so unreal! But here we are.

I have been awake ever since four in the morning and I have been doing so many things around here and I took care of other as many and spoke to so many people I lost count of them and now it's close to sunset and this day seems to be going on for like, forever. It has been the longest day of my life so far and I still have so many things waiting for me. It's not like I don't completely love it, don't get me wrong. I have been thinking about it every single day for the past thirty-three days, not that I have been counting, but all of a sudden everything begins to feel like a little too much for me to handle. There are so many people going around me now, some helping me get ready, some of them are still asking me the same questions I have answered a couple of times now, some of them are telling me that there aren't enough seats when I know precisely that I asked for extra chairs (but hell, who listened to me? I'll tell you. No-fucking-one), some are telling me that the one supposed to take the pictures hasn't arrived yet and that he's stuck in traffic, and all the little things that don't go accordingly to our planning don't seem to come to an end. There are so many things happening right now and all these people are crowded in here and they're speaking and they want so many things from me and I can't focus on any of them! And I just want to get married in peace. Am I asking for too much? I stop cooperating to anyone around me and there is all this noise going on around me and I can't take it anymore.

"Get Dmitri." I barely hear my voice over all the commotion in the room, and the woman who is doing my hair stops putting flowers in my braiding.

"What?"

"I said get Dimitri!" I yell and all the chit chat around me ceases and all the people in the room turn their eyes in my direction, looking at me like I am some circus attraction and this only makes me angrier. "And get out! I want everybody in here to get the fuck out!"

"But Miss we have so many things left-" some unfortunate guy starts speaking, but I am not up for any kind of conversation.

"I said get out! Can't you understand English? I can't breathe with all of you around me. There's too many of you!" and I get that I might have gone a little too far with this, that what is happening now is not their fault and that I am acting like a bitch with everybody without a good reason. These people are just doing their jobs and I am not making things easier for them. Plus, I promised myself not to turn into a bridezilla. So I take a deep breath and tame my tone. "I am sorry for that, I shouldn't have reacted like that. But, please, everybody, just get out, I need a moment. I'll deal with everything you want a little later."

And all the people in the room head out, to their own good, without saying anything else, the only persons lingering around being Lissa and Viktoria, and with all the fuss happening, I even forgot that they were in here in the first place and they are both leaning over the wall next to the big mirror where I should take a last look at myself before I head out in about an hour and they are looking at me with amusement in their eyes. Yeah, my little freaking out must be quite funny for everyone else, but not for me. Anyway, I try to get past that and I focus on the two persons in front of me. They're looking great today. Lissa being my matron of honor, I have let her pick her own clothes and the ones that the bridesmaids were going to wear. To be honest, I did this just because I didn't want to bother with this task as I had too many things on my head lately and dealing with a bunch of women that had different opinions about what they should and what they wanted to wear didn't sound that fun for me. And Lissa, being as nice as always, took this task seriously and being the little genius she is, she came up with the greatest idea ever. She made my bridesmaids pick one color they liked and then let them pick whatever dress they wanted and now I have a pale rainbow bunch of bridesmaids that match perfectly with all the decorations around and everyone is happy. The two women in front of me are wearing one green to complement her beautiful eyes and the other purple, into the memory of her hair highlights. But I must say that the cutest of them all is little Emily, the six months old bundle of joy who's dressed into a teeny tiny pale pink dress and who's going to "help" me with my bouquet, but who is now unfortunately sitting with her father.

And as Lissa is looking at me, a smile full of understanding spreads across her face. She knows how I feel better than anyone. She has been in my situation so close to a year ago.

"How are you doing sweetie?" she asks as soon as the door closes and she detaches from the wall and makes her way towards me.

"What do you think? Just take a look at her. She's close to a meltdown." Viktoria jokes and I must agree with her remark. "Just don't worry, my soon to be sister in law." she comes near me too and gets behind my back, massaging my shoulders, a thing I am grateful for because it works a little. "Just you know, take some deep breaths, close your eyes if you have to, and chill. This is your day and no one else matters. Fuck everyone else and their demands. Besides my brother, of course." she says leaning to one side and giving me a cheeky smile. Yeah, I like her approach.

I place my hand over Viktoria's and turn my attention to Lissa. "How could you do this?"

She chuckles as she takes a place on the velvet bench next to me and she wraps a hand around my middle. "Trust me, it wasn't easy for me either. Like, at all. There were all these emotions coming my way all of a sudden and trust me, I even wanted to flee-"

"No _really_? _Did you_?"

She laughs. "Yeah, I did. But I just thought about that. Not that I would have really done it. It would have been one of the stupidest things I would have done in my life. But everything just seemed a little too much all of a sudden. I was so happy and so anxious about everything else at the same time. There were too many things happening and I didn't really know how to deal with them." this sums up exactly how I feel too.

"Yeah, and I used to make fun of you that day. Now I know exactly how that feels."

"Don't you worry, Rose. You did everything perfectly and it's going to be perfect." Viktoria assures me.

"Yeah, maybe. I hope so."

"No maybes. I know it will be awesome. You are the best. I mean, if this wedding is like half the event you organized for the company's anniversary, there is nothing to worry about." yeah, well, this time I had some more help from Dimitri, otherwise, I don't think I could have managed to get everything ready in such a short time. He was so supportive and helped me with everything and I couldn't ask for anything more from him. "So yeah, don't you worry about the little things. I'll take these things off your shoulders so that you'll have a second to breathe today. I'll go out and take care of them for you."

"Would you do that for me?"

 _"Duh,_ of course I will. We're family." she says and pats my shoulder.

"Thank you. But can I ask you two to do something else for me too?"

"Tell me and we'll do it."

"Can you go and get Dimitri for me?"

"Oh, but you know that it's bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding."

"Yeah, Liss, and so it is having sex before getting married-"

Viktoria gasps and her expression mimics shock. "No, really? Did you two have sex? I swear I couldn't have thought about that. You two look like such saints." she jokes and we all chuckle. "You know, the baby's giving you away, tho."

Oh, I so like her humour. "Anyway. Look at me, I am okay. And seeing him won't do me anything. Please, I just want to see him." And I pull my irresistible puppy face, trying to convince my best friend.

"But what about your dad, Rose? I bet he's like, guarding Dimitri's door right now."

"Yeah, and I mean, my mum and grandmother must be all over the place with this too. Especially the old one. Stupid little superstitions. It's not like you haven't already seen each other this morning before we got there, no? What would this change things with?"

"See, Liss? She has a point."

"But, Rose, you're asking me to break the rules?" Viktoria asks and I nod and a wide smile spreads on her lips. "Then it would be my pleasure. Anything to break the rules. You know I like to live a risky life."

The only one left to be convinced is Lissa. I somehow knew that Viktoria would be in for it right away. So I look at my best friend again, widening my eyes, pleading. "Fine, fine, just stop pulling that thing on me. You know I can never resist it." She gets up from the chair and hugs me. "But first you have to get your hair finished. It's halfway done and I don't think you want Dimitri to see you like this." I rise and take a look into the mirror and laugh. I look really funny. The left part of my hair is styled into big nice waves as the other side is braided. Yeah, I so don't want for him to see me like this. I look like a little psycho. "And when you are done, I will try to sneak Dimitri in here. This if we'll find a way to get him past Abe."

"Or my grandma. But I am sure we'll find something." and Lissa's phone starts ringing and she has to leave, letting me in here with Vika. "But don't you worry. I will try to distract her." a devilish smile spreads on her lips. "And I think I know the perfect way how."

"Hey, don't you make anything stupid, okay?"

"Me? Doing anything stupid?" she asks amusedly offended. "I never do stupid things. I am just doing the right thing considering the situation, but everyone else doesn't want to admit it. But just so you know, if you need me some time later, I have seen a bunch of sweets into the big tent and I am planning to eat some before the ceremony begins, like a little reward for my next efforts. You should know that I made a lot of sacrifices to fit in this dress."

I chuckle. "Well, your efforts have paid off. You look amazing."

"Well, not as amazing as you, that's sure." she comes and hugs me. "But even though, maybe someone will notice me today."

I give her an accomplice look and I become very interested. "Is that someone a person I know?"

She shrugs and she bites her lip. "Maybe."

"And don't you plan on telling me who that person is?"

"Not yet. I don't want to jinx it."

"Fine. Just take care."

She places her hands on her hips. "Oh, don't you turn into Dimitri, okay? I thought you were the reckless one."

"Well, sometimes I still am."

"Okay. I am glad to hear that he hasn't tempered you that much. I still need someone to have fun with around here. And now, I really have to go do my thing, the time's passing. Have fun you two." she winks at me and turns to head out, but she stops just into the doorway and looks again at me, smiling. "I am really happy that you'll finally be part of the family, Rose. Dimitri's really lucky he has you." she says and gets out the door. Yeah, and I am really lucky to have him.

* * *

And now that my hair is finally done I am looking into the mirror, still being alone in the room to my disappointment, but at least, I finally look like a real bride. The woman doing my hair has done a really great job and managed to braid my hair perfectly onto the sides of my head and those two tails reunite at the back of my head into a loose bun and she even incorporated some gypsophila branches in my hair, the main flowers present at this wedding along with peonies in every color you can imagine, and I'm not wearing much makeup, just enough to accentuate everything that needed a little adjustment, but I am glad that I am keeping things natural. I still want Dimitri to know it's me who he's getting married to. And I really like the dress that Lissa has helped me pick and I must admit I love how I look dressed in it. It's made from a loose, vaporous material, perfect for this hot late July day, and which doesn't bring any inconveniences when it comes to my so damn big belly, it has a bare back that has some lace on its hems, giving the dress some vintage air, and it has a really nice V neck in front that doesn't show too much of my cleavage, but enough to keep things interesting. What I unexpectedly love most about it is that it has long sleeves, made from the same light material and the cut starting at my left knee on the left side of the dress. But what's the point of wearing this now when he's not here to see it until later? I guess the girls didn't manage to do much. Well, this means that I'll have to wait a little longer and that I'll see him at the altar.

But my disappointment suddenly comes to an end when I hear someone knocking at the door. My heart begins to race and I hastily get to the door and open it with excitement filling me and I'm smiling so wide that my cheeks hurt. But it's not Dimitri. It's just my dad and I can't really hide the flop in my mood when I see him and I guess it is quite visible on my face because, at my sight, my father chuckles.

"Disappointed to see me, huh?" he gets inside the room.

"No just-"

"You were expecting someone else?"

"Well…" I have been caught red-handed, I see no point in lying.

He chuckles once more. "Don't worry. I have seen Lissa…" he mimics the quotation marks. "sneaking into Dimitri's room. And then there was Viktoria who has pissed her grandmother off and made her leave the hallway when I surely knew what they both were up to. You know you kind of sent the wrong persons to do the job, no? It was quite obvious." We both laugh. Yeah, Lissa is not really good at sneaking around and maybe Vika took it a little too far, but I didn't have anyone else to reach out to and I am sure they both had the best intentions.

"And now, like, everybody knows?"

"Not everybody. But the majority of people." he says still amused.

"Well… Is it okay? Aren't you mad or something?"

"Yeah, of course it is okay. Why would I be mad? I knew this would happen."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I couldn't stay away from your mother on our wedding day either. Why would you two be different than that? You're like any couple, not being able to be away from each other when it's imposed on them. You just feel the rush of breaking the rules. And so did I when I was that young."

"Oh, but you said that- You know… the tradition thing you told me about earlier..."

"Oh, Rose. I was just doing it to mess with you two. It's a miracle for me that you two resisted for so long, really." he puffs. "Screw the tradition. It's stupid and old. So what if you see each other before the wedding? Go ahead, have fun."

"So, you haven't come here to lecture me?"

He laughs heartily. "No, of course not. I just came here because I wanted to see you before the wedding." he looks at me head to toe and smiles. "You're so beautiful today, kiz. And you want to admit it or not, you really look like your mother right now. If I would be younger now, I would have thought that this is the day I am getting married, not my little daughter." and I let that him calling me little thing pass. It's a happy day, I am not going to spoil it. He's my father. He can call me whatever he wants to.

"Yeah, I have seen the pictures a thousand times now." and I study him too and I am glad to see that he hasn't gotten rid of the pirate style he had at Lissa's wedding. At least, with me and Dimitri getting married on the beach, he will be part of the decor. And plus, without the white hairs starting to show in his deep black hair, you wouldn't give him a day over thirty years. What can I say? My parents are keeping themselves young. "Well, you don't look bad yourself, old man." I say and bring my hands up to fix his silk green scarf that he won't give up on no matter what. I'm wondering how he's not boiling on the inside from all the heat outside today. And he doesn't give me an answer, just continues to look at me with that loving look on his face. "What?"

He smiles widely and in a swift movement, he drags me into a tight hug. "My baby's getting married. I just can't believe it." he says, his voice having a weird tone. And well, that would be two of us. This day seems so unreal, just like a dream.

"Oh, dad, please don't make me cry. I am really close to that right now, you know?"

He chuckles as he pulls away. "I won't, I promise. I'll keep my shit together for you."

"Thanks, dad."

"So, how are things going so far?"

"Good, they're good." I say shifting my weight from one foot to another. But the truth is that I am still nervous.

"Really?" he asks in disbelief.

"Yeah… I'm good." and I still look towards the door from time to time. What is it taking him so long to come?

"Hey, kiz." my father distracts me by taking my hands in his. "Just to know...if you think you can't do this, I can help you get out of here. I'll just fake a seizure and distract everybody. Oh! Or maybe this will work better. I have some mints in my pocket..." he says patting it and winks at me. "...and I can easily get some coke from around here and that will do the job."

"Oh, dad, stop it." I say laughing.

"No, really. I mean it one hundred percent. Anytime you feel like running, you just give me the signal and I'll do it, okay? You know your old man likes to be in the spotlight."

"Did you do this at Lissa's wedding too? Offered her this kind of help?"

"Of course I did. Anything for my girls." he says and hugs me again.

"Nah, dad. I am fine. Thanks for the sacrifice you are willing to make. But I really want to get married."

"Well, anyway, my offer is standing. Of course, you'll just have to decide until it's too late, until you won't be able to get away." I wrap my arms tighter around him and chuckle some more. "'It's good to see you this happy kiz." he pulls away from me and cups my cheeks. "You really deserve it." and he kisses my forehead. "Okay. Now I'll leave, otherwise, your mother will start looking for me. Plus, your lover-boy might come any second now and I don't think I want to be in here when that happens."

 _"Daaaad!"_

He chuckles as he's heading to the door. "What? You're young and in love. I know how that works, kiz." and so he goes and I remain again in there alone.

* * *

And some more time passes (just a couple of minutes, in fact, but it feels like entire hours) and Dimitri still doesn't come. What is keeping him from coming? We are so close to really doing it and I want to see him just before that, even for just a second. I look out the window, trying to see if I can spot him outside, but there is no tall, handsome man walking through the bunch of people out there on the beach and I resume to looking at how things look outside, checking how things are going, and it looks really amazing now that the sun is starting to set and all those warm colors are reflecting into the water. All the candles that are leading the way towards the spot we're getting married have been lit and all the fairy lights in the big white tent next to the ceremony's place have been turned on and along with all those flowers that have been brought, the picture outside looks amazing. I just can't wait to walk out there soon and I can even feel some tingling in my feet as I anticipate all that. And as I am watching the people taking care of the last little things, and at all the guests taking their places and at all those smiling faces out there, the door to my room opens again and I turn around full of excitement again, but this time it's Ivan the one who has come to see me.

"Hey." I say but I can't hide the disappointment in my voice.

He smiles widely. "Well, I have never seen someone so excited to see me lately."

"Sorry, but-"

"I know. This is the reason I am here. Dimitri sent me to assure you that he's coming, but for now, someone stopped him to check on something and he really has to do it. But don't you worry. He's coming soon."

"Gee, nice. It was about time. I was wondering what he is up to and what is taking him so long."

"Trust me, he wants to see you as much as you do, Rose, so he'll definitely be here soon. Do you mind if I keep you some company until he comes?"

"No, not at all." I think I am going to go insane if I'll be by myself in here for longer. He takes a seat on the velvet bench and takes a relaxed pose. But I, on the contrary, I just can't sit in one place. I am pacing around the room and shift my eyes from the window to the door like crazy.

"Hey, why you want to see him so bad?" he asks me as he examines some of the flower branches that didn't get put in my hair.

"I just want to." it's my hastily answer and I don't really have a good reason I want to do it. I just know I want to.

"Okay…" he says lifting his hands into a defensive gesture. And in some more silence, I continue my pacing around the room and I am constantly wiping my sweaty palms on my dress, that's how hot I am right now. And maybe sitting down might help, but I just can't do it. I think I might start having a panic attack soon. "Rose?"

"Yeah?"

He leans forward, placing his elbows on his thighs and his face gets serious. "You don't plan on ditching my boy, no?"

I stop in the middle of the room and look at him with the ugliest glare I have ever been capable of and so help me God if I weren't pregnant, I would have thrown myself at him and I would have beaten the shit out of him. _"What?_ What the hell are you talking about? Are you on drugs, Ivan? Have you gotten drunk or something? I thought the bar wouldn't open until after the ceremony. Did you have a bachelors party all by yourself and that messed with your brain?"

Now, he seems very amused. "No, I am not drunk, neither on drugs. I am just making sure of things here. I mean, look at you. You are so damn nervous. You look like you want to deliver some really bad news to someone and I thought that..."

"Yeah, I am nervous. Like, really, really nervous. I don't know why though, but I am. But still, I am not even _thinking_ about ditching anyone. You and I both know and everybody else does too how indecisive I can be at times. I don't like to make decisions, that's true. But if there is one decision in my life that I know is the right one, the best one I'll ever make, it's to spend the rest of my life with him. I want to do this. I really want it. So don't you talk shit, okay?"

He smiles. "Good. That's good. Because if you would leave, you would break his heart in a million pieces, Rose." He gets up and looks out the window. "I have never been a spiritual guy and I have never been talking about shit like this without cringing, it's not in my style to be that guy, but I must admit that ever since he has you, he…" he turns to me and smiles. "He is happier. I have never seen him like this. He really loves you, Rose. And I am glad he has you in his life."

"Well, I am glad that I have him too. He's the best."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far with the praising, tho." he jokes and we both laugh. Then, he goes back to looking out the window. "Hey, have you, by any chance, seen or know where is Vika?"

"Why so curious? Do you need something from her?"

He shifts somehow with unease. "No, I don't. Just like that. I was wondering where she is. I haven't seen her in a while now and I was wondering where she went."

And in a second sit hits me. "Oh my God. Does he know?" I ask excitedly and I am one second away from starting jumping around the room.

 _"He?_ What should this he know?"

"Oh, no. Don't you play the saint with me, Mister. Does Dimitri know that you and his sister are having a thing?"

His eyes widen and he shushes me as his eyes pin the door. "We do not have...a _thing._ She…" he looks around the room and sighs.

I chuckle. "She doesn't even know, no?"

He shakes his head, looking down now. Aw, isn't this the cutest thing ever? "But you know her better, you two seem to get along really well. Do you think that maybe she-"

"Yes." I respond right away. I was too distracted by my own shit to realize he was the one Vika was hoping to remark her. But now it all makes sense. And I mean, she couldn't have been more obvious about this. You know which is Ivan's favorite color? No? I'll tell you then. It's the same one as Viktoria's dress.

"Yes?" he asks full of hope.

"Yes. Maybe you don't see it, but I can see the way she looks at you at times." I was always wondering why she did it, tho. Until now, when it got so clear. "And let's say that a little birdie has told me how hot she thinks you are dressed in this suit."

He smiles, taking a look at himself. "She does?"

"Well, my birdie is a pretty reliable source. But don't you even think about telling this birdie what you know and from who you know, otherwise…"

"My lips are sealed." he says still smiling.

"And don't you let it get to your head, Mister."

"I won't, I promise." and a little pause follows, in which he passes his hand through his hair. "So, you think things would… like… work?" it's weird to see the confident Ivan be like this all of a sudden and I can't help it but smile. Ah, what a woman is able to do to a man, no?

"Well, I can't tell you anything for sure. But… maybe if you two might, let's say… dance tonight, something might happen?" it kind of worked for Dimitri and I. That dance we shared was simply amazing. The other things too, but it's a start. "And well, I might have an idea on where to find her now." he looks at me expectantly and I don't let him wait for too long, even though I would so much like to tease him. I still remember how much fun he had on our account. "She told me she knows where the sweets are hidden and I have a hunch you'll find her there."

"And where are the sweets hidden?"

"They're not hidden. They're in the tent, silly. There's all the food."

"Oh, right. So, do you mind if-"

"No, I won't. Just go."

He hugs me hastily and so he goes, leaving me alone once more. And in there, I start chucking. Who would have thought? I get back to the window and watch Ivan as he is making his way past all the guests, heading hastily towards the tent, and I am just really curious to see how things between them will evolve tonight.

And after Ivan gets inside the tent, I shift my attention on what is happening outside and it's getting a little darker and the big moment is coming and Dimitri still didn't get here. Well, I am sure he has a good reason. I just resume to waiting until the moment I'll have to get out of here will come. But I guess I was way too distracted by all the people outside to hear the door opening because the next thing I know is that there is someone behind me and I gasp as I feel his hands encircle me from behind, placing them on my belly, and his head comes to rest into the crook of my neck, and soon, as I feel his woody scent all around me, everything feels right again. I relax in an instant and place my hands over his. "What's the matter, milaya?" he whispers to me and hugs me tighter.

I turn my head and brush the tip of my nose on his cheek. And there is nothing bothering me anymore. I don't care about anything anymore. With him being here, I know everything is good, that everything will be good. "Nothing. I just wanted to see you."

"Sorry I couldn't get here faster."

"It's okay. You're here now."

He turns me to face him and takes a look at me, head to toe and gosh, the way he looks at me makes me feel warm on the inside. "God, you are _so beautiful_. Are you even real?" he walks his fingers across my cheek and rests his thumb on my bottom lip.

"As real as you can get comrade." and I rise on my tippy toes and kiss him.

"But really now, what's the matter? Did something bad happen?"

"Nothing happened. I just wanted to see you, that's all. I didn't get the chance to do that much today, and I was missing you like crazy."

"Me too." and he wraps his arms around me once more and we spend a minute in silence, my head resting on his chest and we're slowly moving from one side to another on a silent rhythm. "And well, if I am here now, I was thinking about something. In fact, I wanted to tell you something ever since this morning, but I didn't really have the chance." I tilt my head and watch him and he seems dead serious. Like, I-am-sorry-but-I-have-something-really-bad-to-announce-you-serious.

I pull away. "What? Oh my God. You changed your mind."

He chuckles. "Don't be silly, Roza. No. Never. I would _never, ever_ change my mind about this. This thing happening today, it's one of the best days of my life." yeah, mine too.

"And what other days are classified as best?"

"Well, let's see. The day you told me about her." he walks his fingers on my belly. "The day I found you." he sighs remembering that day and kisses my forehead. "Oh, and besides others, the day I met you, of course."

I laugh. "The day I said I was supposed to kiss your ass? Didn't I do enough trouble that day to piss you off big time?"

He chuckles and takes my hands into his. "Yeah, that day. And you did. I have never met someone like you until that day. But looking at you in that elevator, even dressed like that, there was something about you and you fascinated me, Roza. And you still do. Every single day. I was drawn to you from the day we met."

"Well, your face was telling me otherwise. In addition, I remember that I was saying so many things to piss you off. It was a miracle you weren't telling me to shut up all day long."

"I don't remember things quite like that. In fact, I remember wanting to have, and sometimes even making up, reasons to talk to you."

"You did?"

He nods. "All I wanted was to see you beam that amazing smile back at me whenever you talked about something that made you happy and you were immediately putting me at ease and brightening my day."

"Well, your grumpiness, you weren't that bad either. It was fun to piss you off every single day."

"Oh, you were doing your best, no?"

"Of course I was. Just like always." and we again look at each other smiling. But hey. we kind of drifted away from the main subject. "You wanted to tell me something before."

"Right. I wanted to talk to you about our vows."

"What about them? You don't want to do that anymore?"

"No. I still want that. But I wanted to tell you those this morning, away from anybody. I still want that. I want _you_ to know. You're the one I am promising everything to, not all those people outside."

"Yeah, I would like that too." I love that he thought about this. He's right. Why should everybody else hear our vows? "But you first."

He nods and takes my hands into his, bringing them up to his mouth and kissing them. Then, he takes a deep breath in, and lets it out, holding tighter to my hands. "Roza… I want you to be there next to me when I close my eyes at night and your beautiful sleepy face to be the first thing I lay my eyes on in the mornings, every single day, from now until we grow old. I want your lips to be the only ones that I kiss for the rest of my life, your hand to be the only one I hold throughout my days on this earth, along with the ones of our children, I want you to be the only person I try to make happy every single day, for the rest of my days, and I hope that I manage to make you even half as happy as you make me because gosh, ever since I met you, my life hasn't been the same and I can't imagine it without you in it. I want to see a smile spread on your lips every day, no matter the reason and the only tears you will spill ever again to be of happiness and I will do my best for that to happen. I want you to be mine every single day and night for the rest of my life and I promise to be yours in the best way I can and to be always there for you and to support you in every way you need me to and I am asking you to be patient to me if I ever do anything that upsets you." we both smile, knowing that he is the one always showing patience to me because he is not the stubborn one. He brings one of his hands up, cupping my cheeks and with his thumbs, he wipes the tears that are falling from my eyes. "There are not enough words and not enough time in this universe to tell you how much I love you but I swear that I will show it to you every passing second. I will spend the rest of my life loving you, Roza, I promise. I want to spend today, and all of my tomorrows, with you, and only you, until we get old and even then, when we will both be close to one hundred years, I promise I won't stop loving you. I don't want to be without you. Ever. You have made me the best man I have ever been and I will keep on being that man for you because you deserve so many good things in your life and I will do my best, every single day, to show you how much I appreciate the fact that you chose to spend your life with me today. I love you, Roza."

I look at him, tears falling down my cheeks and I am unable to stop them but gosh, how can you not cry when you hear him speaking like this? I want to say my vows too but compared to his words, nothing seems appropriate anymore. I laugh cry and he looks at me a little confused. "I forgot mine."

This wonderful smile spreads across his lips, lighting up his entire face. "Don't worry milaya. Your eyes are telling me all I need to know."

"No. I want to do it. I want you to hear these words from me, now. Just give me a second to gather my words." I say as I wipe my eyes and choose my words. Good thing that I am wearing waterproof makeup, otherwise Dimitri would have taken a raccoon to the altar. "Maybe I should have written my vows down after all. I am not that good with speaking freely." we both chuckle. "But I really want to do it." I put behind his ear a small strand of his hair that escaped the clasp at the back of his head and look back into his deep brown eyes. "You…" I smile and walk my fingers across his cheek. "Gosh. You are the best thing that ever happened to me, Dimitri. Falling in love with you it's the best thing that happened to me. I fought it so, so bad, but still, you crept under my skin and I don't want you to ever leave. You will always be present in my heart, no matter what. You came into my life when I expected it less and you made me the happiest person I have ever been. I never realized I was looking for you until you became the only man I ever needed in my life and the only person I wanted to see and be with every single day. I can't thank you enough for always being by my side, even when I couldn't be myself. You were always there for me when I needed you and no matter how many times I pushed you away, you kept coming my way and you… you brought me back from the deepest, darkest hollow and you never asked for anything in return. You just loved me every single day. You loved me in my darkest hours, in the moments when I thought that I least deserve it, in those little moments I was barely capable of loving you back, but you never pointed that out and you kept on loving me even when I-" he stops me now, as I want to apologize once more for not trusting him enough once. I swear it won't happen again. "You made me feel beautiful in ways no one ever could and your touches always make me feel weak. Your voice whispering my name is everything I want to hear before I fall asleep every single night and the only one singing our children to sleep. Your embrace is the only place I feel safe and sound from all the bad things in this world and it's the place I want to find myself into when I wake up in the mornings. I want your eyes to be the only ones I turn to into the most crowded rooms and for you to look back at me just like you always do, full of love. I want you to know that I love you more than life and the thought of not having you next to me every single day for the rest of my life is scarier than death itself. I promise not to ever leave your side, no matter what happens, to trust you and to love you with every molecule in my body for the rest of my days and I promise to always be the best version of myself for you because you always encourage me to be that person and the fact that you have so much trust in me makes me feel capable of anything, as long as I know that I have you by my side. You are my partner, my lover, my very best friend, you are my…" I chuckle. "… my comrade, in everything that happens in our lives, you are my heart, and my heart beats for you and it will always be like this."

And he looks at me with so much love in his eyes and his lips turn into a beautiful smile and he drags me into his embrace and he's walking the tips of his fingers across my bare back as his forehead rests on mine and everything else around us doesn't matter as I am looking into his deep chocolate eyes. I don't need any other kind of wedding now. He said so many things to me and there's nothing else I ever wanted from this day.

But as anything happening today, something must come and pull us away from each other. And this time it's my mother. But at least she's nice and she first knocks and we have the time to pull away before she opens the door. At our sight, she smiles widely. "I am sorry to ruin your moment kids, but the ceremony shall begin soon and we need a groom waiting for his wife to be at the altar."

Dimitri understands that it's his time to leave and he first gives my hands a squeeze, like a little promise that he will be out there waiting for me and then gets out the room, leaving me in here with my mother.

I look into the mirror one last time and wipe the little remnants of my tears and I turn to my mother. "Shall we?" she nods and I follow her out the room.

And we walk along the hallway in silence because she is the single one I have lately talked to so much about this wedding and I guess we have nothing more to talk about now. We exhausted all the subjects concerning this wedding. I mean, who would have thought that we would really get back to have a normal relationship because it wasn't me. But this silence is doing me good and I have the time to really take in everything that Dimitri has told me a couple of minutes ago.

And as we reach the door that is supposed to get you outside, she stops me and hugs me. "I am really happy for you, honey. Even if I didn't agree with Dimitri from the first time, I am really glad that you are marrying him today. He is making you happier than I have ever seen you and this is what I have always wished for you, to be happy. And he is the right one for you, Rose, I know that now."

"Thanks." her words mean so much to me. I hold her tight and I take in her familiar perfume, her usual faint flowery scent that always reminds me of home. "I love you, mum."

"I love you too, Rose." she pulls away and looks at me smiling. "Are you ready?"

"As much as I'll ever be."

She opens the door for me and I step outside the little house on the beach and the warm late evening air of the seaside fills my nostrils and it feels amazing. Out here I find my father waiting for me. "Here you were, the most beautiful women in my life." he says cheekily. "I thought you would never come but seeing you now, it was worth the waiting."

"Oh, Abe. You're such a sweet talker." my mother goes to him, kisses him on the cheek and heads to her place.

"She loves me." he says proud of himself and I go to him too and I round my hand on his extended arm and we start walking towards the pathway with candles on the sides, and the warm sand feels amazing on my bare feet and as I look at everybody sitting on the chairs, they smile warmly at me and I respond to each of them. I love having all these people I care about near me on this day.

"Hey." my father elbows me lightly.

I lean closer to him and whisper. "What?"

"Are you sure you don't need that seizure?"

I laugh, but I try not to get heard by everybody around us. "Oh, old man, you're unbelievable."

"Unbelievably talented? Of course I am. I can show you right now."

"No, really. I don't need it, dad. I want to get to that altar."

He sighs. "Oh, you girls are no fun. You didn't want to let me enjoy myself at your weddings."

"We'll make a deal. You can enjoy yourself dancing."

"Oh, that is for sure, kiz. You owe me a dance and you won't get away." We walk the rest of the way in silence and as we get closer to the altar, I finally manage to take a better look at my man. Even if he was in my room no more than ten minutes ago, I didn't really have the time to realize how he looks. And gosh, the way he looks is making me stop in place for a split of a second and maybe I would have even stumbled if it weren't for my father to hold me. "Hey, there." he whispers and gets his other hand on top of mine. "You're okay?"

"Yeah, sure. I am fine." and I move my attention back to Dimitri and examine him some more as his figure starts getting closer to me. And for a second I get dragged back to that charitable dinner evening as he's wearing a suit so alike to that one, but this time he's not wearing any bow tie around his neck and he has the first two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his collarbones, this giving him a casual but still classy air, and there's no waistcoat over his perfectly white shirt but gosh, the contrast between that white and the dark blue of his coat makes him look so damn handsome that I can already feel my knees starting to get weak. I'll never change my opinion. Navy blue is a color specially made for him and I love seeing him wearing it. Moving my eyes up on him, now that I have gotten close enough to study him better, I see the wonderful smile that spreads across his lips at my sight and the way he looks at me makes me feel like I am floating and it may be stupid, but I swear I can feel those butterflies in my stomach and I just can't help but look at him and smile too. I am just so goddamn happy it's overflowing out of me!

And my father and I finally reach the altar and before I take my place next to Dimitri, I hug my father tightly and whisper in his ear. "I love you, dad."

"Me too, kiz." and when I pull away I see his eyes filled with tears and he blinks them away and smiles warmly. "I know I promised, but I can't, Rose. I am just so happy for you." he comes closer to me and kisses my forehead, then lets me go sit next to Dimitri, but he doesn't head to his spot right away. He looks at Dimitri. "Hey, do you remember the first time we met?" Dimitri nods and so does my father. "Well, just keep in mind that my inventiveness is still there, boy."

"Daaad!" I hiss lightly, but he pays no attention to me.

Instead, Dimitri smiles. "Duly noted, Sir. I won't give you any reasons to use it."

"That's my boy." my father comes and hugs Dimitri too and then goes to take a seat next to my mother and as I watch him, I see all the other people I love on the chairs next to theirs, my now so big family. I smile at them, hand my bouquet to little Emily and her mother and smile at all my bridesmaids, I take a deep breath and turn to face the man of my life, and so the ceremony begins.

And the man in front of us speaks but I swear I can't hear a thing he says and he mostly speaks to the guests because I am way too busy getting lost into Dimitri's eyes and I get back to earth when it's time to say our vows and to answer that one most important question, and we resume to small things to say as we have already told each other all we needed to say. Dimitri looks at me and squeezes on my hands and tells me that he will spend his entire life making me happy and I tell him that I will be loving him forever and that's it, all our vows, and we both say "I do." with wide smiles and from the bottom of our hearts and then, we get further to the next part. Which is the ring thing. Ivan comes and hands us our rings and after a little introduction, it's time to exchange them. We both say the same thing the officiant tells us to: "On this special day, with this ring, I take you for now and for always, I take you with all your faults and all your strengths, into the same way I am offering myself to you, with all my faults and my strengths, I take you to be my lawfully life partner, my trustworthy friend, my partner in crime, and my love from this day and until forever." and we place the ring on each other's finger and at the very end, even the officiant gets so excited and he's speaking so happily as he brings the ceremony to an end:

"My dears, what you have begun here today, by speaking your vows before your loved ones is something you will have to continue doing for the rest of your lives, and I am sure that you will be doing it again in the days and years to come, by standing by each other, sharing the goods and the bads of life. And now that you have given yourselves to each other with solemn vows in front of God and all the people who have assembled here, it is my greatest joy to pronounce you husband and wife. You may seal your vows with a kiss."

And gosh, we have waited for this moment all day long, or at least I know I did, and my hands feel tingly with anticipation as Dimitri takes a step closer to me and he places one hand on my cheek to tilt my head upward and he slowly leans towards me and he brushes his lips across mine into a teasing gesture but I am not into teasing now and I lift myself just enough to press my lips on his and he chuckles lightly and brings his other hand on my back and pulls me closer to him and kisses me the proper way and everybody gets to their feet and they clap their hands and they are all happy for us and they're cheering loudly.

* * *

Later on, after we have greeted everyone and hugged and we kissed and heard everyone's good wishes for us, I let Dimitri take care of a little thing and I head inside the tent for the party and the first thing I start looking for is our table as my back and my feet hurt like crazy and if I don't sit down anytime soon I might hit someone. Hard. Most people have taken their seats quite a while ago and being single at our two persons table, I resume to watching everyone as they are having fun.

I start from one corner of the tent and watch each table, and first, I see my parents whispering something to each other and then smiling and it's like they would be young again and I would be a kid once more and it makes me so happy to see them being so in love after so long. I really hope that my marriage will be at least as happy as theirs. Next to them is seated Dimitri's family, and seeing me, Olena and Yeva give me warm smiles and the other three women in the family gently wave their hands at me and gosh, they all look so beautiful. Searching for others, I find Lissa, Christian and their little angel sitting at another table and they both try to entertain a grumpy Emily and Lissa is wiggling in front of her eyes the bouquet that she decided she doesn't want to let go of ever since I handed it to her a while ago and she, that little human is the reason I have decided not to do the bouquet throwing and I must say that I can't be happier about it because I have never really liked that tradition and little Emily over there helped me get rid of it. At the same table are seated Adrian and Sydney and I make a mental note to go and catch up with them a little later because ever since they moved to Russia, we didn't really have much time to catch up with everything. And searching some more, I see that as I was exploring the room, Viktoria has changed her seat and now she's on a chair next to no one else but Ivan and they are talking about something and he's making her laugh and that's good. Maybe things will be so good for them. I really hope they will. And I am looking at all my friends and loved ones that are here with us today and I love them all. I love looking at how happy they are now and I realize how happy I am too. I move my gaze down and look at the golden circle on my finger and I play with it and I smile stupidly. I am really married! Can you all believe it? Because I still can't. It all happened so fast I didn't have the time to realize it completely.

And as I am playing with my ring some more, Dimitri comes to sit down next to me, then leans closer and kisses my temple. "You should eat something, Roza."

"Yeah, you are right. I quite forgot about eating." and he's so careful, always making sure I don't forget to eat. But as I reach my hand for some of the so good looking sweets laying on the table, he brings his hand over mine and gently slaps it, making me take my hand back. And he starts putting on my plate some of the stuff containing green, weird looking things in them. Oh, him and his healthy eating. I look at him frowning. "What? Can't I have a cupcake?"

"Of course you do." he says smiling as he's piling up healthy stuff on my plate. "But after you eat these. Now, enjoy your meal, love." he says so proud of himself and I decide to give it a try and I find out that even healthy things can have a good taste, at least today, and I end up filling my belly with that and forget about the full of chocolate cupcake that I eyed earlier.

With my belly full and with the pain in my back diminishing, I feel way better than fifteen minutes ago and I lean back on my chair and wait for what is it to come from this wedding. If you ask me something now, I will simply tell you that I forgot the entire program. But I'll just go with the flow. Dimitri takes the same pose as me and sighs deeply. "Hey, what happened?"

"You know, I can't really breathe right." he says full of anguish and in a second I fill with worry and turn to face him.

"Oh my God. What happened? Are you okay? Do you feel sick or something?"

'No, not really, but I just feel like I don't have enough air to breathe."

"Why is that? Is it too hot in here? Do you want to go outside or something? Should I bring you something?"

"No, don't worry, Roza. It's nothing."

"How can you say it's nothing? You said you can't breathe right. Why is that?"

He takes my hand into his and looks at me, a completely serious expression on his face. "I don't know, but I guess it's because of you."

"Oh, that's horrib-" and I finally realize what he was just said. "Wait, _what?_ Because of _me?"_ he nods and still remains serious. "What the heck did I do?"

"Oh, Roza. You have no idea what you're doing to me." and he now he can't keep himself from smiling. "You look so goddamn beautiful you take my breath away each time I look at you."

I punch him in the arm and chuckle. "Gosh Dimitri. You really scared me. You're incredible." I shake my head and chuckle some more.

He comes closer to me and nuzzles the tip of his nose on my shoulder. "No, you are incredible. Incredibly beautiful, milaya." and he is slowly walking his fingers on my outer thigh and then gets down to my knee, meeting my bare skin under the split of my dress.

"Hey, stop it, you are tickling me."

"Oh, I would do so many other things to you right now." he says and gives me a flirty look. Thank God that everybody else is busy and that we are sitting alone at this table, otherwise this talk would have never had taken place.

I chuckle some more and decide to provoke him. I raise my eyebrow and mimic disbelief. "You really would?"

"For sure." he starts moving his hand again and gets it a little up on my thigh, under my dress.

"Right here too?"

"Oh, yeah." his hand gets a little more up on my thigh and I start breathing heavily as he's drawing little circles on my skin.

 _"Really?_ And what would you do?"

"Do you really want to know?" he stops moving and looks at me biting his lip.

"Of course I do."

"Well, first, I would send everyone home so that it would be just you and me here." he gets his fingers on the inner side of my thigh and pats the tips of his fingers on my skin, just like he would be playing the piano.

"Okay, tell me more." I try to act as not interested as possible, but on the inside, I am so burning with desire. Mindlessly, I even part my legs a little so that he would be able to reach his hand further.

"Then, I would rip this dress off you." he goes up in a swift movement and my muscles start contracting and my heart starts beating like crazy.

"I am still listening." I try to seem composed but gosh, I am so doing it to myself by pushing him to continue.

He gets closer to my ear and I feel his breath brushing on my cheek as he speaks. "And then, after I would get you completely naked, I would please you in any way you wish." he says fully accent on as his hand gets so close to my panties and I just sigh in response. "And for how many times you wish. I would go all night long." he emphasizes each word and moves his other hand and is brushing the tips of his fingers on my bare back and along with that, he moves his hand all the way up, reaching my hot core and I gasp lightly and let out a small pleasurable sigh as I turn my head to look him in the eyes and I feel the little puff of air he lets out as he chuckles so close to my ear. He has gotten me so wet right now I can't even think about anything else than him doing me on the beach.

"Can't we like, ditch everything and go home?"

He laughs and takes his hands back, leaving me lusting for so much more and I frown at him, a thing that only makes him smile wider. "Unfortunately, we can't, my love." I pout disappointed and look around the room, suddenly wishing to send everybody home. He comes closer to my ear once more. "But don't you forget, Roza. I am the one who has to watch you looking like this all night long. And it's getting harder and harder to keep myself composed around you with each passing second." he whispers and I see his hand slowly making its way down towards my knee but he pulls it away fast when we hear someone clinking his or her glass with a metal object. I snap my head in that direction and I see that Ivan is responsible for this disturbance. "Oh, here it comes, his speech." Dimitri says already amused. "Do you want us to count his jokes? I bet there will be a lot of them concerning me." and we both chuckle, then we give all our attention to Dimitri's best friend and I start wondering if it was the right thing to do to give that guy a microphone into a room full of people.

"Well, for those who don't know me, my name is Ivan and I'm today's best man. Or so I have been told until now. If you changed your mind about me, Dimka, it's kind of too late to tell me now, so you'll all have to bear with my speech. So," he gets an unexpected flow of excitement in his voice. "without any further addings, I would better start my speech. You know? I'm so happy to preside over the only five minutes of today that the newlyweds didn't plan. Of course, I'm only kidding. We went over the speech ten minutes ago just outside the tent and they made sure that I'll be saying everything that needs to be said. But I changed it anyway." he whispers into the microphone. "See?" he points his glass towards us and everybody turns to look at us. "You can see the nervousness on their faces at the thought of what I might say, but hell, this one is on you, Dimitri. You chose me to be your best man. And now I should really stop speaking beside the point. If there's anyone here this night who's feeling nervous, anxious or queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it's probably because you've just married Dimitri." and the whole room bursts into laughter and I turn to look at Dimitri, who seems equally amused by his friend. "No, Rose. Don't you worry. I am just kidding. Or am I?" he asks, trying to make the room fill with doubt, but everybody just smiles. "You should know that I have known this man my entire life and we have grown up together." he stops for a second to smile towards us. "And one thing I can tell you for sure, Rose. You have made the right choice here, today, no doubt. You too, my friend. You both are the perfect match. Oh, and I do have to say to the groom just how lucky you are. You will leave here today with a wife who is warm, loving and caring. I am sure that a woman like this is something hard to find nowadays, but to be completely honest, between you and me, you have been always the lucky one, Dimitri. I mean, look who you have found. Your better half. I hope you'll know how to cherish her for the rest of your life, my friend." Dimitri gets his hand over mine and we entangle our fingers, looking at each other for a couple of seconds, until Ivan starts speaking again. "But the bride, as well, you are lucky. You leave here today having gained a lovely dress and a wonderful bouquet of flowers." everybody in the room laughs and Ivan looks so proud of himself. "But let me be serious just for once." he stops all the laughter and takes a serious tone. "That dress is _really_ nice." and people start chuckling again, but Ivan cuts them off shortly. "No, but really. I mean, seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I'm sure we all can agree that the bride looked simply stunning." and I can't help it but to blush as everybody turns to look at me, but thank God that Ivan continues his speech. "The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned, don't you think? Have you paid any attention to the look in his eyes? Because I did. And besides all the admiration for his beautiful wife I found in there, you could all see the love in each other's eyes as she was getting closer to him. You two my good friends, love each other in a way I haven't seen before and I hope that it will last forever. This is what I wish for you both." he starts to get emotional and I am so eager to see what else he might want to add. "Okay, I'll try to keep my speech short, and end it here because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute delay in witnessing how Dimitri's dance lessons worked out. So, I want to dedicate the next song that is going to start soon to the newlyweds. So, to end it nicely, I'll say this: they, the philosophical people out there, say that you don't marry the person you _can_ live with, you marry the person you _can't_ live without. That sums up Rose and Dimitri perfectly because they complete each other into the best way possible. To the happy couple." he says and raises his glass and so does everybody else around the room. "May you be happy together forever!"

I turn to look at Dimitri as Ivan is making his way towards our table. "Well, that was really nice."

"Yeah, it was." he says and gets up to embrace his friend and I hear a glimpse of what Ivan tells to Dimitri, but the only thing I heard for sure was "Don't you ever let this one go."

And then, Ivan comes to me and hugs me too. "If he's ever making you any problems Rose, just tell me and I'll deal with him." he says jokingly and we both chuckle. And after he pulls away, he turns to watch us. "Now, come on, to the dance floor with you two. The song is ready to start." he rushes us.

Dimitri smiles and extends me his hand. "What about a dance, my lady?" I take it and we head towards the dance floor, and there's no one else there and I start getting anxious and soon enough, the song starts and I am glad to see some other people getting up from their chairs and heading our way, I hope not just to watch.

And gosh, the song Ivan has picked is ready to kill me. "Can't help falling in love" starts playing and Dimitri places his hands on my hips and pulls me closer to him as I round mines on his neck.

"He picked this song just right, no?" he whispers to me and places a little kiss on my neck. And we start dancing and I don't care anymore if the people around us are dancing or not because as we're dancing everything around disappears and all I can focus on is the man in front of me and the song we're dancing on and it all feels amazing, for the millionth time today.

I pull my eyes off him for just a second to look around the room when the song reaches its middle and I see other couples dancing, and I recognize my parents and all my friends and I am surprised to see that Ivan has decided to follow my advice and he's now dancing with Viktoria and they both seem to be in their little world now and they're looking at each other and they're smiling and I am just so happy for them. "Hey, comrade." I point my head in their direction and urge him to look there. "Do you see what I'm seeing?"

He takes a look at them and then back at me. "When did that happen?" he says seeming almost upset.

"Comradae…" I scold him.

"What?"

"Come on, they look cute together. Let them enjoy themselves." he chuckles and shakes his head. "What's funny?"

"It's not that I am upset in any way. But, do you know that Ivan is kind of like me, right?"

"So?'

"And you know my sister, right?"

"I do. But what do you mean with that?"

"Rose, who does my sister resemble in her behavior?"

I smile, getting what he means. "Me."

"That's right." he says smiling accomplice.

"So, should we expect some sparks?"

He chuckles. "Sparks? No. Fireworks. Bombs exploding."

I laugh and kiss him. "Was it that bad with us?"

"Bad, Roza? It was amazing." he walks his lips across my cheek. "You are the best thing that ever happened to me."

And the song, like all the good things tonight come to an end and another one starts and we plan on dancing some more, but little Zoya comes and snatches Dimitri from me and he goes to dance with her, them both looking so sweet together as Dimitri is holding her in his arms and it warms my heart just by thinking that soon he will be holding our daughter in his arms. I turn to make my way back to our table but my father comes to me and I dance with him and we all spend the rest of the night having fun and I love each second of it.

* * *

And somehow, Dimitri and I end up in a car and we're now heading home and I am completely drained of energy and my eyes are so close to closing, but I am happy. I turn my head and look at our hands entangled on the backseat in between us. "So it's really over." I still can't believe that this day is over. It seemed to have lasted for about a week if you ask me.

He takes my hand into his and kisses the place the ring stays on my skin. "Yes, it is. Now, you are mine legally too."

"Yeah, now you can't get rid of me that easily. We have all those papers, you know?"

He chuckles. "I don't even want to, milaya."

And we sit in silence as the driver takes us home and I even doze off a couple of times on the long road home. But somehow, when we reach our destination, I feel an unexpected flow of energy passing through me. I practically get out of the car and hop all my way into our building. We get into the elevator and we wait for it to take us up.

I sigh and look at Dimitri, who's leaning his back on the mirrored wall of the elevator. "We're finally alone."

"Yeah, we are. At last."

"It was crazy today. I mean, so many things happened."

"It was. But I barely got any time to be with you." he says and reaches for my hand.

"But still, the little time we had, it was amazing." and I start crying all of a sudden, just by remembering the beautiful things he has said to me when were alone.

He smiles and pulls me to him. "What happened?"

"I don't know. I am just so happy." I bury my face into his chest and start crying a little harder. "Oh, don't mind me. It may be just the hormones or something."

He puts his arms around me and holds me until we reach our floor and finally, I have stopped crying. It was just a little too much emotion passing through me at that time.

We get to our door and Dimitri unlocks it and I want to enter the apartment, but he catches me by my hand and pulls me back. "Hey, what are you doing?" he asks me frowning.

"Um, I am getting inside?"

"No, you're not."

"What? Do you want us to remain here on the hall-" and I don't have the chance to finish my question because he picks me up and I squeal in surprise. "Dimitri, put me down, I am heavy."

"Oh, Roza. You could never be heavy." he says as he passes the doorway and closes the door behind us. He takes me into the bedroom and we chuckle all the way there and he finally puts me down. "So, here we are, home at last, Miss Belikov."

"Oh, I like how that sounds."

"Yeah, I really think I could get used to it." he says and comes closer to me and turns me around and slowly starts unbraiding my hair, finally letting my hair fall on my back and my body starts filling with anticipation and he's not even touching me that much. Then, he shifts my hair to one side and from behind, he starts placing kisses along my shoulder, heading slowly up on my neck and I tilt my head to give him more access ad his fingers start pushing down the material on my shoulders.

But then a thing passes through my mind. I turn my head to watch him. "You know, Dimitri, I am quite tired." I say taking a proper tone.

He pulls away and pushes the dress back on me, covering my skin. "It's fine, we don't ha-"

I start laughing. "You're so silly, comrade. I am just teasing you with this." I turn to face him and start unbuttoning his shirt, giving a lot of attention to each button, or in fact, to the skin that they reveal once they get unbuttoned, and I speak as I walk my fingers on his chest. "I have waited _aaaaall_ day long for you to take this dress off me and I still haven't forgotten what you told me at the table, Mister. You don't get away that easily after you arouse me like that. Plus, there is a surprise waiting for you underneath this dress." he looks at me being curious and intrigued. I push the shirt off his shoulders and it falls down. "Come on. Just take a look." he crouches in front of me and starts lifting the dress, walking his fingers on my legs and when he reaches high enough I take the dress from his hands and keep its hems up. When he sees it, he smiles.

"This wasn't here before."

"Well, maybe someone put it there after you searched for it."

He makes me sit on the edge of the bed and then extends my leg and starts kissing his way up on my skin, stopping from time to time to bite or suck on me, until he finally reaches my thigh and then the white lace garter that I have put on just for him. He catches it with his teeth and pulls it down on my leg slowly and I chuckle as the material is tickling me. When he gets it off he comes in front of me and starts kissing me as his hands pass through my hair and he lays me down on my back, being as careful as always and he brings down a pillow for my back and his hand reaches under me and he pulls the little zipper of my dress down as his other is pulling the laps of my dress upward.

"Comrade?"

"What happened?"

"I have a little problem."

"What?"

"You know, back at the table, you said all night long, no?"

He bites his lip and nods. "And I am going to keep that promise."

"Yeah, but, you see… we're like two hours away from sunrise. That's not a very long night." I say seemingly upset and he chuckles.

"Don't you worry, Roza. We'll have many other nights to make it up for this." and his hands start again moving on my body and he starts kissing me.

* * *

 **One month later**

"Dimitri, for the last time, _please,_ take that thing out of my face."

He smiles even wider. "But come on, Rose. It's so healthy." he says coming after me around the couch.

"Yeah, and it looks just like someone puked in that cup. I swear, I am not drinking that smoothie, no matter how healthy you say it is." and I make my way out of the beach house and stop on its porch. And of course he follows me.

"Come on, just take a sip. Give it a try." he extends that green thing towards me and I rush my way back inside, and he lets me "run" away from him, but it's quite hard to really run from someone when you're so pregnant. "I have drunk one myself. It's really good."

"Nope, I am not doing it. Go ahead, drink this one too. But I am not doing it. Here. If it makes you happy, I am going to eat an apple. But that's all you get from me, comrade."

He chuckles some more, but finally puts the cup on the table. "Fine. But you're eating it now."

"Definitely." and I make my way slowly towards the kitchen table but I don't get to reach it because I stop as I feel a strange shot of pain in my lower belly, just like I would be having period cramps all over again. "Oh, crap." I bend forward and prop my hand on the counter in front of me as I am taking deep breaths in order to make the pain go away.

"Roza? What happened? Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I get back to a straight position. "I just think I need to lay down a little."

Dimitri comes to my side and takes me to our room for the past month for our little honeymoon into the house that we have visited before, and I don't really get to get to lay in bed because I get another wave of pain and this time I feel some liquid making its way down my thighs and wetting my dress. "Shit!" I growl and squeeze on his hand.

"Hey, you're not okay, no? Is it hurting you badly?"

"This wasn't supposed to happen." I whine.

"What?"

I lift the hem of my dress off the floor and show him the little pool under me. "My water broke, Dimitri." and for a split of a second, I see the shock in his eyes at my words, but he hides it right away.

"Okay, just stay calm. Let's sit down first, okay?"

"I don't want to sit down! This shouldn't have happened! We were supposed to be back home! It was supposed to happen next week!"

"Hey, milaya. Look at me." he takes my hands in his and soothes my skin. "It's going to be all alright. You don't need to worry. I am here with you."

"I know. Sorry, I am just freaking out. What if this happening right now is bad?"

"No, this cannot happen. It's fine, Roza. We'll just go to the hospital and it will all be alright."

"But we don't even have the stuff that we prepared for the hospital."

"We do have them in fact. I took them with us, just in case."

"Oh, what would I do without you, huh? You think about everything."

He smiles and kisses my forehead and I gasp a little as I get another contraction. "Come on, just sit down for a second as I call the doctor, okay?" And I do as I am said and wait for him to deal with everything and I just focus on timing my contractions until he comes back for me and takes me to the car and we head to the hospital. And on our long way to the hospital we have chosen, the contractions start getting more painful and more frequent and I think I was so close to breaking some bones in Dimitri's hand but he was just so sweet and he didn't protest and he let me squeeze his hand as much as I needed and he was there to talk to me and to keep me calm all the way.

And I must admit that ever since I entered that hospital, whatever happened after that, it's kind of in a haze for me. A lot of things happened that involved pain and me yelling at people and some doctors and nurses coming in and out of my room and my family and friends coming to see me, and Dimitri, always Dimitri being by my side and calming me, but one thing I remember for sure and I think will remember it for as long as I will live.

It was night and everybody else was waiting outside, besides Dimitri that didn't leave my side, not even for a second, and after eight full hours of labor I was simply drained of energy and I was so close to fainting, but I heard Sabina's loud cry and next to me was Dimitri who was smiling at me and he was holding my hand and he leaned closer to me and passed his hand through my sweaty hair and told me that it's over and gosh, didn't that feel great? But not this is what I will be remembering for my entire life. No, that doesn't even compare to what happened next. Next, after the doctor took care of our little baby and did everything that needed to be done, the nurse came to us and she was carrying a little pink blanket in her arms and wrapped in that was our little baby and she gladly told us that she was perfectly healthy and she handed her to Dimitri. When he took the first look at his daughter he froze for a second, then brought one hand up and slowly, he walked his finger across her skin and she whimpered lightly, and I still remember how good she was and how she wasn't crying at all and the way he smiled when he touched her again. Dimitri came closer to me and he looked at me like he did so many times before but this time I saw tears in his eyes and to see him like this simply warmed my whole being. "She's so small." were the first things he told me about her and he brought Sabina closer to me and I got to see her for the first time and my heart simply filled with love for this little human when I saw her sweet, calm features and it was too much for me and I started crying silently. "Here's mommy." he said to her into a baby voice that I would have never thought I would hear him speak into and he placed her on my chest and then took a seat next to me on the bed and pulled me closer to him, and he placed his lips on my temple and we both watched little Sabina as she was reaching her teeny tiny hands out of the blanket and then wrapped her little fingers around my finger. "Gosh, Roza. She's perfect. And you're amazing. I love you both so much."


End file.
